Things are changing

My back day a night. Never beget it. Prances is that road toy? Oh oh.

Was that thing moving or what.

It was really shaking? It was shaking so crazy?

Chat was it moving?

Oh my god, we're back, guys, Welcome back to a bardeny Wow, wow, famously famously.

Oh my god. I feel like it.

Really it does feel like I'm at somebody's house who I used to hook up with a lot and then I just like randomly got busy and stopped seeing.

But I'm like bored back at their house.

No, it feels like I'm sitting on the edge of the bed before I boke up, clutching. Yeah, there is an energy, there is an energy.

But wellcause we also haven't broken in this new space because we went on the break kind of right when we moved in because we just needed the time, and boyds, did I have a time. I genuinely am like, I am so happy. I love my life. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy. We're so happy, We're so happy, We're so happy. I'm so happy.

I actually am in like a good I'm in a better mental state right now than I was, Like you are, Yeah, I am so much better you And I can't.

Tell if it's your lexapro. I can't tell if it's your prozac or that you're smoking weed all day every day.

Well no, okay, it like that myself. That like that was the problem during the break because I was like, well.

Shit, like I guess I do.

I guess I'll smoke just I usually don't have anything to do. But what I have found is I've talked about this on my own YouTube channel, but I have a hard time recording myself. And I've been blessed enough to be doing a lot of like deals with companies actually really love, but I'm scared of recording myself. So now I have to smoke to record myself because that's the only way I can feel like a teenager where I'm like, what this is fun again?

It's like me taking three shots before every time we record, I'm blackout every time. I mean, yeah we've been recording, I'm blackout. Yeah, And then I believe, good for you exactly what I was drinking like probably like five shots today during the break. Yeah, but right after we record, I go and like down like a handle.

As a favorite bar around the corner. It's walking distance, so I don't have to worry about anything.

But damn, a lot has fucking happened since we've gone, like a.

Lot, Like I think a lot specifically in your life has changed, and like happened.

And like a lot has happened.

I'm not going to talk about any of it. I'm sure y'all can guess.

But I don't think anyone can guess because it's the last thing anyone would have ever had.

It's something that I famously am like no, no, no, no, never, never never.

I can't see myself doing that.

But something, something has shifted, something something has shifted, and it's probably venus and mercury and retrograde. But like I I'm confident. Let's have that.

I know Drew, literally, Drew has had some a breakthrough that has literally made him feel so happy.

You know what it is is it's I didn't see comments about my appearance and how ugly I was for a month.

No, that's not just it, bitch, because you finally got a fucking haircut. And I've been trying to force him to upkeep with his haircut, and it's almost like if a girl, if you dress up, listen, I like to think of my body like just plain just me. Actually, this is a hard thing to talk about because when I'm naked, I genuinely think I am like so hot, which is crazy.

Me and Elsie were talking about it.

I was like, we have the kind of delusion that in my head I'm like, no, no, just wait till you see a full yen then it can kind of get the picture. Like normally I'm fully naked and I am propped exactly how I would anticipate someone to see me the way I post in a mirror.

Oh, you can't believe.

You can't believe it. That's happened too.

But if you don't dress up that body, then you're just like a body and it's like boring. So you have to just put some pep into your step, because right now you look so sexy.

Also, I put this jacket on last second because I was like, I'm gonna put this on, But I did not intend wearing it the whole time because I have three layers on and it's already nine degrees inside and it's loud as fuck.

But oh, this was my birthday gift to Durro.

This small little artist that like a lot of y'all probably wouldn't know about, like very small, like Jack below. Yeah exactly.

Yeah. Okay, But I have a.

Story that I want to have mentioned right off, Rick, because we haven't talked about it in person at all. Y'all. Oh my god, so many, so many fucking crazy things have happened to me, and thank god I wrote them all down. Okay, So I, me and and YOUA went to Missouri together to see my grandma and my family out there. And it was really cute and we played in the snow and we like ran around and it was it was really cute. It was really wholesome energy. And then she went to Miami, but I rode trip

DF like literally the like it's which is random for the DFW airport or terminal dye if you.

Know, you know, it's like it's a massive terminal. There's a billion bathrooms. But all of the stalls were full, and I like was going to go into a stall, and then like I'm waiting there, waiting and then a guy very suspect like pops out of the stall and I just go in right after him. And it was interesting to me because there was no toilet fla.

There was also Josiah's in the room because Kai left town because he doesn't take his jobs here. Yeah, he doesn't give a he doesn't give a fuck about you guys. So remember that because.

Remember that he's got his own little well.

We said he were going to come back, and we're back.

Kai, on the other hand, wants to go do other things like classic.

Straight man behavior, just wants to go out and run. Oh you want to go run around and party, while like, literally.

We have a job. Let's talk about this. This job is so important. This job that we do and difficult and very hard, and we do all of this heavy lifting. And like the fact that like Kai would just sit back and.

Like everything and post it and stuff like, seriously, you weren't even there for the struggle of making this art and like really.

Being important, important to like culture. But anyways, I have where this habit was born of running straight to the bathroom was vaping. I go into the toilet in the airport and hit my vape. And so when this guy came out of the stall that I was going into and didn't flush, I was like, I was sus a thought popped in my head. I was like, that was weird, but he might have just been vaping, been there, done that. So then the actively I'm like chilling in the stall

It drink a lot of time, specifically in the airport bathrooms, which actually, after this story genuinely has me thinking if you go to the bathroom all the time in the airport, like and most of the time when we're in the airport, we get there early and juris.

In the bathroom the whole time hitting his vape.

Yeah, so then I'm like chilling in there, hanging out, doing my thing on my iPhone, playing my videos out as fuck, because I literally don't care not shitting. I don't give a fuck.

I don't sh my videos out loud, and I'll ship I don't give a fuck.

Gonna smell it, hear it. I'm gonna activate all your senses right now.

It's the opposite of a sensory deprivation. Tank. If you want the opposite of a sensory deprivation, to sit next to ya in a stall.

Typically in an airport bathroom.

Yeah, so then we I like, do my thing. I go back to the gate for a second, and then the airplanes is about the board and I actually have to pee this time. So I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go back to the same bathroom. And because you like all, yeah, the energy, the energy.

Is there's every airport I frequent, there are specific bathrooms I like to go to, and that specifically m I A has the best airport bathrooms ever.

Period.

Okay, I continue, so she or so I head back to the same bathroom, head to the exact same stall I was in, and the door was unlocked. I pushed it open, y'all, and I see a man with his pants down to his ankle up against the wall like this pants dick in balls through the fucking toilet paper dispenser. Dick and balls through the toilet paper distay. Wait, balls included, Yes, dick and balls.

All the ball is crazy. Ell.

You just saw his appendage, like where the skin meets the body.

Didn you met where there? You saw where the crease meets the botty.

I didn't see his dick and balls, but I saw him leaned up against the toilet paper dispenser with his pants around his ankle. Immediately I was like, gay man cruising, duh. And then he like sees me, whips around, turns bright fucking red. I've never seen someone turn that red in my entire like rips up his pants and like freaks out. And then I shut the door and I am like cackling, like I am laughing so loud outside of the stall. And then I was like, oh, bitch, I'm waiting right here.

This is where the crazy behavior starts.

I'm waiting right here.

I guess, to be fair, he just sexually assaults. He just assaulted you also like to it's a public offense and it's a felony because it's literally in like a government building.

Yeah, so I'm I'm standing there. I'm standing there waiting so they can see me, so I can see them. The guy that I caught walks out, Oh no, no, no, the the guy that was blowing him or giving him hand job. I'm not gonna assume was you'd.

Better be giving a hand job in a fucking airport, star girl.

You don't know gay man, you don't know gay men. He the other guy comes out first, straightest, passing like rugged, rugged cowboy hat, like whole fucking fit on, like blue collar worker guy walks out head down, was freaking out, Yeah he was trade and like walks out, doesn't wash his hands minu or his face and just walks straight out of the bathroom.

Then the guy okay, yeah, getting on the plane with like dick spit.

In your face is and your beard is crazy, Like I I don't see.

I didn't even take that into account.

That's yeah, really chopped. And then the guy that I caught comes out and like head down, looks up, sees me, scurries away, also doesn't wash his hands nor his dick and balls. But anyway, trying laughing at this point, and I cannot believe that of all people that would happen to me, but thank fucking god it happened to me, because if it was any other person waiting in line, or any other person going to the bathroom, like they

Wh I've been wearing that trench coat every day for the past button all the way to the top, buttoned all the way to the top.

I walk in, so I find out that the toilet paper dispensers in the airport like that are the big silver metal boxes that have like keys on them. You can open them all the way and it opens to the other side, which is creepy as fuck, but they're just randomly unlocked. So like, guys, test the theory out. And then I waited there. I got on Sniffy's and I downloaded the app and I hit that guy up that was in the other stall, and he came and gave me sloppy toppy before my flight.

What wait, you did not tell me that far?

Yeah you No, he serviced me and worshiped me. Just kidding obviously, but no. I was like, really, I was like, how does this fucking work? This is crazy? Well, like, I do my thing in the bathroom, go back to my gate. Guess who's fucking on my flight back to La. Of course he was going to La, the godless fucking country or the godless city of La where all the evil gays exist. He is on my fucking flight. Also, no shade, biggest fucking ass I've ever seen him as live shade.

That's like he's working in no knows exactly what he has. That's what he's getting service to the d W airport. Right, I've never seen was the guy who was sucking or getting this.

Getting getting the service. I've never seen someone ain't that anxious in my entire life, by the way, like pacing on the phone, and also like I was like on the phone within you at the time, because I was.

Just has his phone on speaker in public. If Drew calls, you.

Don't answer because he has the phone on speaker in public. And he was in public with his phone on speaker talking about this man ten feet away.

From that just committed a crime. I don't give a fuck, Like I really don't care. And I was like, should I take a picture of him? So I took like three pictures of him to show it in you.

I guess, yeah, you know what.

To be fair, this is the best outcome is some random motherfucker is talking about you completely anonymously. We are not crazy enough to put any pictures, but like, I know what you look like. Actually I fully forgot what he looked like. I you remember he was wearing like a light colored pair of pants, like maybe white pants.

Yeah, and he had a huge ass. That's all I remember. If he has a huge ass, like he's going on.

Like a big fucking stinky butt that's full of bod trunk and the trunk No, no, it was it was head.

I mean, I don't know what happened, but wear white pants and be playing that game in the airport bath I don't think.

He was getting fucked. Josie was asking if we think he got fucked in.

The bathroom, but also t is I was like, maybe this is like a part of it, like a part of the taboo for him, Like leaving the door unlocked and people catching him, because I know that's like a thing like people like being watched or whatever.

I mean, that's essentially what like a couple accounts have turned into. It's like, it's just the average American has now been taught because of how much media we watched to like low key be into void question mark, like it's been trained onto us. Because one thing the US will do is it will employ the most mid average looking, usually white couple you've ever seen, because Americans eat it up.

He was playing me. Do you remember when we got the iPhone controllable controllable vibrator and we went to public? Yeah? Yeah, did that?

Yeah?

That was so fun?

Where was it? Buffalo Wildwind?

I was tweaking when it was inside of me. We did it on me first and my butt and then we did it.

But thankfully I wore black underwear, so there was no like evidence that it had been near button.

You gotta shut the actual fuck up. But yeah, I caught a guy cruising in DFW and I'm not gonna lie.

Yeah W stands for don't fuck women.

Apparently not gonna lie. That was a very exciting moment in my life. Yeah, very mundaneous.

That exciting happened to.

Me while I was gone, Like, well, a lot of shit has happened, a lot of things.

While someone hit my car today.

Happened someone hit in his fucking car.

Because the second time my old car never got hit.

I finally got to a place where I was like, you know what I can have like a nice car that would impress my parents and all my friends and also has the best ansystem ever. Within a month of having that car, somebody hit the side of it, and now someone just hit it again.

So like someone knocked on our door this morning, and like I'm not going to be mean, but like ozimbic face down, like melting off his body, like and also like y'all think like.

Mind you the nicest man ever?

Yeah yeah, but also y'all think like ozimbic face is like some molecular thing.

No, it's because you think I have Olympic face because I became a woman.

That's ozimpic face, because you do ozimpic I'm tired of I'm tired of sitting behind this lie, this fucking lie and Ozmpic. She doesn't omi, that's not true.

I don't think I did Ozmpic. And they're like, she has ozempic face. No, bitch, you've been looking at me since I was pre pubescent, Like I literally am, just like I'm in my mid twenties.

Don't say that.

No, I love it though, I love it.

I love it when you eat it. I love it when you I love it.

I love it when you eat it.

Oh yeah, So he comes up to the door. I ignored the doorbell because I thought it was Josiah.

And I was like, Drew can't get it.

Yeah, no, everyone does. I'd to ignore the doorbell makes me get it because.

I'm the furthest set up and I had to get ready and get all beautiful for my girls.

That's true. It was honestly perfect case scenario though, because I'm glad that happened to me and I deal dealt with it. But like he was like, hey, is this your car? And I was like, yeah, it's one of our cars, and he was like, well, I just hit it with my rental and I was like, oh, no worries like he was. I could tell he had like

Well, I mean, I guess he was in a RAV four. But like that's how Ellen saves so much money.

Yeah, the editors, the editors in spray on bitches too as well. Yes, And there's not much to say to this story.

No, the point of the story is this fucking video of Drew.

Yeah, he was taking a video of me, or he was taking a video of the damage, and then he sent it to me, and it's I was not I was not prepared to be on film, Like I was literally not prepared.

Cameration prove llaut.

Yeah you play, you pay right, Okay, So a little car that I accidentally hit me saying exactly I remember correctly, Okay, left front damage, And I've offered this gentleman, what you dream Drew Phillips. Phillips, Yeah, I showed him immediately, immediately, like one, first of all, me saying exactly, no idea what this man is talking about.

If you play, you have to pay to play. Yeah, what does that fucking mean?

Bro?

You were looking at your iPhone going down to like a suburban street.

You hit a car.

And he was also making it very aware to me. He was like, I have money, I'm a doctor. I built this house. I am I live in Park City, Utah. Like he was like making it. He was like please like but also I don't think he wants to go through int It's because he was like, whenever you take your car to the shop, just call me or have them call me, and I'll pay for everything. Bitch, I wish he hit my fucking car.

No, I'm not happy he hit my car. That's I don't own that car. That's not my car. I'm paying for that car.

Like of course the one time, I'm like because my last car, Yeah, I'll flex on you, bitches.

I was paying to own that forward eat it up. Yeah, and now my parents have it and they've already wrecked it three times, so imagine how.

I And also your other car, the other car that you bought. Oh yeah, I was sitting in a lot forward lot that it was a black car and it turned green.

No, it was a white car.

And they called Inya's sister and was like, oh yeah, this car, it used to be white, but it's green now.

The car turned fucking green, bro, because my family doesn't respect me.

And that's someone with veneer breath. I really did. And you know what that is?

That just stink.

Oh my god, Wait, so much has happened.

I know who it is.

So much has happened in my life. This one I specifically can't talk about for a plethora of reasons. The near breath.

Oh yeah, you ew ew and you were in that mouth.

No I was not. Don't even don't even say that about me.

I mean, there's no evidence to back that you weren't.

Don't say that shit.

I let my imagination tell, Like the thing is, if you're not gonna be a fucking kiss and tell, well, why the fuck did you tell me anything? Because now my imagination is running wild and I think you and whoever the fuck you're talking about did the nastiest ship.

I could think of. Because if I think about sex, I'm like, oh, me and my girls get pervy.

Yeah no, I'll tell you allan.

Pervy consentually pervy.

Come on, guys, like, should I tell them the one detail out front of the gym or no.

If it's not the bottle, it's the phone.

If it's not the bottle, it's the phone. There's one moment that I'm like debating telling because this happened before a break. Actually whatever, we're cutting all of that.

Well.

I was lucky enough to go to Italy with my friend Rain and it was so fun. But one of my like actually the day I.

Would be more like literally more like.

Wait, why am I? Why am I literally in Italy right now?

Literally?

Why am I literally in Italy?

Literally?

But my most memorable moment from that trip. There was so many things that were really funny. But I was sitting outside by the pool and I didn't have a lighter and I wanted to smoke.

So I went up to this guy who worked at the hotel. I think he was a bellboy.

He was.

It was one of those hotels where like everyone's dressed like it's a fucking Wes Anderson.

Movie and he was a bell boy. Ass fuck but I went up to it. I was like, oh, do you have a lighter? And he was like, oh, uh.

Yes, I have a lighter. Like, how are the fuck you do an Italian accent? I really can't like I literally can't, Like.

How do you do it? Like, yes, I have a light.

Hello, I have a letter.

That's better than what I did.

Hello, dude.

You know what's really good at it is fucking Rain because me and her on one of the days we went to this like island where they sell glass and a glass company set a boat.

Y'all had a blast while.

We were in Italy.

While we were in Italy, we went to this event and at it it was like a bunch of mutual friends and me and Rain had gone off and like smoked. And then when we came back, I said this, I don't think I repeated this to you into like a bunch of random guys about me and Rain. I go, yeah, well, we just had a party of our own. So I

Whatever, wait, we have to unpack that. No, So then no, no.

I said that everyone was like, oh, Like I was like, oh, we just went and had a party of our own. I literally just had the best time of my life. I could go home now, I'm so sleepy.

Like I said something, it literally made it sound like we went and did a bunch of coke and had sex.

But that is not the thing I was gonna say.

Essentially, this guy, I'm gonna insert a picture where we're gonna have to blur the fuck out of it.

This bell boy was like, oh, yeah, I have I have a lighter.

Also, we had to go back and forth because I said matches and I was like for smoking like fire, and like I was like doing the whole sign thing because like neither of us knew what the fuck we were talking about. Also, every time I spoke Spanish, it just confused, like confused and escalated the issue.

So I wasn't doing that.

And he's like, oh okay, lighter, lighter, and he goes like this, mind you, he's carrying a huge water drug because he's going somewhere, And I'm like, oh my god, this is the worst thing ever, because I thought he'd be like, yeah, I'll be back with matches and not like try to like ten to me in the moment and he grabs this lighter. Did I show you the one he sent me or gave me bruh. I think he just like had one of those moments where it's like, oh, yeah, I have a lighter. I can literally feel it in

One Oh my god.

He pulled it out and like he like he had this water drop. So he's like, oh yeah, and he's like holding it and going like this mind you. He's like around my age, like maybe like twenty four, so he's like this. He's like oh and like patting around for and I'm just standing and like kind of trying not to look.

So I'm like, dude, just it was like a lot, it's icky.

And he goes to give to me. He goes, oh, I know you don't have to use this one. Like he like literally like pulled it back. I was like, oh no, and like started hiding it and.

He's like I'm so sorry, and I was like what and I like saw it and I started cracking up.

I was like, dude, no, that is perfect.

Thank you, And I like exactly what and then he was like ohh and like like was had the bottom was like going to walk when he's like, I'm sorry, I'll like, I'll like was basically just like, I'll come back with matches.

I was like, it's fine, I can use this. This is perfect. And he felt so embarrassed and he I was at that hotel for three nights. He did not look at me once.

Oh my god.

He was so exciting me.

He knew how like she that was. Yeah, that was like a moment, but.

Like, honestly good because a straight man should feel like he's actually attacking.

Yeah, like that's very pervystraight.

Yeah, so it's disgusting and I'm actually gonna call and I'm gonna have him.

Yeah, get his ass.

Fine, No, I thought we were gonna key. After that, he brought me matches after him. When I gave him back, I was like, it was perfect. Thank you so much.

He was like and like ran away.

Yeah that is hilarious.

Oh really, because it doesn't seem like it is.

No, that was so funny and yeah.

Yeah, it was a really long story where it was like you kind of had to be there.

Yeah that was hilarious. What oh cool, cool, cool, I'm just kidding. That was actually awesome. I did not know the lighter looked like that.

I know.

Also in that picture, I'm covering her whole badges out, So I think that's why it's not just like a girl with boobs.

It is a naked woman on both sides. And I wish I've been saying this. I think I'm gonna buy the ray Ban meta glass. I want him filming everything because my interaction.

Imagine I got the cruising on video. No, not in like a pervy way so y'all could see it. No, I would watch it back later. No, no, please, no, Well, last night we were talking in bed, and you sleeps in my bed almost every night.

Now, I know it's a problem. Not a new big bed and it's amazing.

Wait did I literally they don't know about that. I think you got it after Yeah, I got a giant I got a king sized bed, y'all.

It's and it's the best investment he's ever made, because literally I I just can't stop sleeping in it.

You're not going to be able to do for long. And I'll tell you that much right now. That bed has been christened, I know, which.

Actually grosses me out.

But I've never had to sit on your bed and think about if you've done nasty stuff on it.

And then I was like, eh uh, and I think he lied to me. I asked him if he washed his sheets.

I know, I swear to God. I swear to God I washed my sheets and then right after I wash my sheets, a zul got iboogers all over them and stained them. Okay, we were laying in bed last night talking and I realized I can look at a person and based off of like the distance between their eyes, or the distance between their nose and their mouth, or the distance between their ears, like bone structure, bone density, I can tell how much of a freak nasty they are based off of just more on their no, just

I actually don't believe that. I don't believe that the girl from busfeed, I don't believe that.

I think she. I think they're actually really normal.

I think they are shockingly so normal because to me, no, they're not living like it's like a mister beast thing, except I would never compare them to mister beasts.

They're like actual like chill people. Oh no, but they hate each other.

I don't think they behind behind closed doors there's a little tap.

Oh no, yeah, I think I I think she doesn't play about that damn job.

I know that's that, But that's that's why I'm such a de like on defense of her, because one thing about me is I think to date me is essentially like going to boot camp. It's like, yeah, you're gonna meet the best people ever and genuinely like love the colonel, but the colonel is evil, and like the.

Colonel has a lot of issues. It used to be in war.

The colonel doesn't play about her job, and I'm the colonel, So I think she's kind of like that. It's like, yeah, like sometimes the colonel wakes up and you don't have to tuck your your sheets into your bed is tight because she's just gonna be like, yeah, that's a good made bed.

And then other times she's gonna see a letter picking from under your pillow and read it to the whole courtyard or wherever they fucking sleep. But they make them all.

You lost me.

Oh, I was giving I was writing a story. I was acting all your sense. We were doing imagination, exercises. I've been trying to do that so I can like expand my mind and really like I've been trying to worlds build. I'm building a world of my.

You're fucking tweaking out, But like, for example, Josiah not a freak nasty based off of une structure and yea, let me see.

I'm not. I don't think I have freak nasty.

You have freak nasty bone structure. Me, I'm not a freak nasty. I don't have Yeah, wow wow, And I'm here with was. I was so scared when he flipped it up to me. I was like, oh my god, like, but I'm so glad he sent it to me. I almost asked him. He was like, you want to send this to and I was like, yes, please, please please, Like.

You know what, who the fuck is Coco?

Who the fuck is Coco? Yeah? Who the fuck is Coco? We need to bring her on the podcast. I really need to know what her life transpired to be post.

We need to make like the Marvel Universe of people like that. It's that girl, It's the guy who kicked the abortion.

Like Turkish quant Dingle, Turkish Kwandale.

Dingle i don't know who that is.

I don't know what you do the group leader. They were singing that Kanye.

West song enough oh oh the kid Nina, Oh, Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina, Nina fell off.

Question Oh that bit you go, bitch?

You know who you know?

She?

It's like, oh, like she should have been If Balenciaga really wanted to hard launch their esoteric, weird comeback, they should have put her on that. Yeah, her sitting next to Devin, That's what I.

Want, And I want to see Na and devn interact period.

They would have a key though. I think I kind of think Devon is the kind of person that like, you could put her in a room with anybody and she will walk out and they will have each other's numbers.

Like that woman just has a charm.

To her that she's perfect down to the last minute. Fucking teacher.

She would survive the colonel.

But you know who else fell the fuck off? You know who else fell off? Greta Thunberg. That bitch is in the gutters, bitch like sorry, bit like literally looked up, like.

Why didn't Luave use her?

Like what? Don't even get me started. I have beef with l Wave. They stole from my girl, Ali spag and all love. They put it on the runway, Ali Spag, we're spagg It's we're all fucking s bag get. She did it first with the chia seed u tuxedo, then like four months later at the Wave put it on the road.

You see tuxedo. When she went to the wine tasting.

Girl, I'm aa spag it through and through like don't even don't even know.

But she went to the wine tasting on her and took the buzz.

Back and yeah, give me your hand. I love you and you're so special to me. I love you too, gorgeous.

Oh my god, thank you. You look really good today too.

Josiah, you're there.

I love Josiah. We haven't been hanging. It's actually annoying.

Josiah moved closer to us and he doesn't come over anymore.

And that's exactly what we saw.

Predicted it. We predicted it.

We're like, it's predictive programming. It's predictive programming. And now he's like, oh, he's like trying to sign that like I've been gone and I've been like working, I've been working for the fucking tamily.

Yeah, and he's been putting food on the family, putting food on the table, paying your rent. We paid Josiah's rent. Josiah doesn't pay rant and we.

Can not get no money. He's saying, I get no money.

Well, you get no money. No bitches, no swag, no swag, no bitches, no swag. That's inya.

I know.

Also you're signing like just it works. Actually, but what was I saying? Oh, yeah, Greta Thornberg fell off bitches in the gun, her legacy being Lisban and Lisbon lesbian, and I shouldn't be up here? Is the thing is so like so perfectly what's wrong with everything in this world? Because like she literally was that girl. She was like fighting for primate change.

I think she shouldn't be up here, up there, like you're right, you should be in school, and your parents kind of suck for not letting you just go to school and should be here, like, go to.

School, be normal and then you can Like, but poor girl, she was fighting for a cause that she felt so strong for.

I think she's still fighting for it. But in like twenty years she'll.

Probably aware because I don't see her.

Wait, can she be president?

Can she? I think you have to be like.

A certain age and you have to be born in the US to be the president.

She was skipping class just I said, she didn't want to be in school. She did all that, like me faking sick to get out of class, me faking to be a climate change activist, to skip class to be a.

Martyr for her cause.

After finding out about what's her name, Anthony know the one girl who she learned how to read and it was illegal and she actually she.

Never I guess was.

Actually know Malala Loki never fell off, like Malala is always that girl, Greta, you fell off?

Because seriously, what the fuck are you talking about? Like we like don't like what?

No, I support everything. Don't get me wrong, No.

I do, but like you know what I mean, Like she.

Literally was in school she learned about Malala. She was like, wait, there's a method to the madness. I really fuck with sustainability. Let me just see if this will get me out of class.

And it worked.

Skipping class by netspind.

O.

Whoa, I'm twenty seven years old.

And I love that. No, and you're doing the right thing. It's actually very smart where you're doing.

No, actually, what you're doing here is actually really smart. What you're doing right now is really smart.

Did you have roaches growing up?

Yes, Oh my god, we had fucking roaches that would fly around and like attack and shit like whoa, No, they would literally come out shake water bugs, water bugs. They would attack the fuck out of us. And I didn't really I wasn't scared of them until I saw my mom petrified. If you bring a roach around my mom, she will literally like cut off an arm to get away. Well, did you have roaches?

Yeah, but we had like the baby ones that like I saw TikTok recently that was like the tiny roaches are a signed that like the nest is huge and it's like a huge investation. Growing up in our first house, we had roaches and like there is a her in kind of terror you Carrie, after having an infestation of roaches that never goes away, because I feel like were the roaches getting in your house or were the roaches there to stay?

They were there? We had roaches and mice.

Oh yeah, we had hella rats. Like I know, the smell of a dead rat, a dead rat and a.

Cracker, dead rat and a cracker.

Like to me, it's all.

I don't know what I'm referencing. No, the girl gets hit in the throat. No, she's walking by the pile of doctor Pepper's and her friend a fake rat. Yeah.

Yeah, I have a black toilet and I don't know.

I thought that was okay because I haven't seen like anything that's come out of my body. And now when I go to a toilet that's normal and like not a black hole of despair. And I go to look in because you're supposed to be looking in the toilet to see if you're healthy. It's literally terrifying.

But we could ask the plumber today if we can change it.

I think I need to because it's very, very very decent, Like it's yeah to wake up in the morning and poop.

I don't know my health because I haven't seen my poop in literally two months since. Yeah, you can't see anything, and I don't know the color of my pee. I don't know when I start my period, Like.

Oh wait, let's have that conversation. And you took a piss in my toilet like three nights ago. It was it was the darkest durine I have ever seen it. It's like bacterial vaginosin. Yeah, fishy.

Oh my god, that's not true. That's not true.

We actually don't need to start the rumor that I'm like one of those dirty, nasty girls, because I take care of myself, like I like literally, like.

There's maintenance, there's maintenance, there's weekly maintenance.

And sometimes you know what, I'm in a bad place and it's not getting the word in me. But the bridge is back down, the people are re entering the city.

It is bustling, it is alive. My body is back.

No, and it takes care of herself. But she just had one day where that is no, it's bad.

I haven't been drinking as much water because all of my that's not my company, those fucking binks, that's not my company. That's not that's not my bottle.

Don't yell at us about the fucking price.

That's not my bottle. They played their cards, right, that's not my bottle. They used me. They used me, and I'm.

Gonna come after them, not actually because I don't give a fuck, but like, that's not my bottle. They just sent me the bottle for free, against my will, against my will.

They found my address and they sent me things. And I'm so happy about it.

But that is the only way I drink water is if I have one of those big, stupid fucking bottles in my hand. And I've been traveling and working and moving around a bunch, so all of my bottles have collected in my car. And last night I was brave and I took all of them out because seeing the color of my pea, I was.

Like, guys, I'm going through it. Actually, no, I'm coming out of going through, because I was.

You're coming out.

Coming. Ah. She had no idea that song would be huge with gay.

People, or she did, and she had no idea it would be huge with straight No.

I think she had that song written, she had that song given to her right she wrote the song.

Have you all ever accidentally seen my balls and not said anything no.

Because I would scream. I would be fucking disgusting.

Really No, I just needed to know that. Oh.

But basically I was thinking about how.

I've seen yours and I've seen your biginie. Yeah, you've seen me, yes, they fell out of your boxers morning.

You've seen my prickly pair. Because I don't give a fuck.

When you see me naked and ya's got a fur ball? I coughed up a lot of fucking I felt like a cat years ago, yes whoa well catching fire, Hunger Games and Chickmunks Chipmunks chip Wrecked were filmed on the same beach.

Like that being is there any other slides or is it just that scene?

Just that scene?

That's like I wish it was more like why didn't they all film in the same jungle because what happened in chip Wrecked.

I don't remember that movie at all. I really want to rewatch Shruck two, which sounds like the most like track ass thing ever. But Shrek two was the best movie and it was the gayest shark movie and it was so good musically and musically, and I saw screenshots of like the fagro of Deeo they made, and now, after living in La, this song, I'm like, damn, I really need to see this, because the best part about living in LA is now a bunch of movies I rewatched.

I'm like, auto yeah, I literally like when I first moved here was like I've literally been hearing Grand Theft.

Thought y'all better not play g in front of me because I already can't shut up about the fact that I'm from Miami if oh, like I've actually been there. Funny because before that was there, this was there.

It's actually a lot smaller in the game than it is in real life.

It's huge, you wouldn't believe it, and then you get there in person is not that much big.

Something we don't talk about enough, And I wish Kai was here to get berated by us because we don't talk about this moment enough. And I saw it the other day sand whoa was that not good?

No one caught that? Like, Okay, I guess it was bad.

We don't talk about Bruno. Yeah, that monstid damage. We'll get back though.

That was good.

You guys are sleeping.

Oh, but when people are commenting Bruno in the comments, then y'all are gonna feel left down.

But something we don't talk about enough is sand literally falling out of Kaishu. Like he lift his foot up and like a pound of sand dusted out fell on the floor of our kitchen. Yeah, like it literally it was like Thano snap like, but with his toe it really was.

Also because it was his toes.

It did feel like in a movie when someone starts disintegrating, because it always starts from their.

Yeah, It's just like, was he even at the beach? Why? And why were those your shoes at the beach? Why where did all of that fucking come from?

We really need to have a conversation about this with him the next episode, and he's going to listen to this, and he's going to try to defend himself, But don't.

Even listen to this and try to defend his honor.

Don't even try to text me about it, because we're going to talk about this next week. Mickey seventeen. Worst movie I've ever seen in my life?

Have you seen it?

Yes?

Oh? I didn't know. You saw it already. You see everything without me? You fucking hate me?

Worst fucking movie I have ever seen. It is a sattire that happened five years too late, and the dick riding I have seen for it is literally it makes me feel dumb and stupid in my head. I love him, I love I love the host. That was like one of my first favorite movies ever. I remember watching over and over and over again, so I understand, like he has an obsession with like creatures, but like, how do you go from parasite to that? Like girl?

Like I want to watch it, but like I sometimes I hate that for creatives because when somebody makes something that good, I'm.

Like, it's impossible.

I did. No matter what you do next, people aren't gonna be happy.

And I went into it expecting not the best movie.

Ever, but not to be satisfied.

Yeah, like I expected not. I did not expect parasite by any means. I expected like a super americanized version of like whatever a creature film, but like because I saw like videos about it, but like damn I did, it did not resonate with me at all. Like there were points in the movie where I was like, oh, I might actually get.

Up in well, because does every movie need to be about like some gay, fucking like good person with an iPhone?

Yes?

Wait what because you said it just like didn't like maybe you just didn't feel like you were being shown in it. So I'm just saying, like, if is that what it's gonna take.

I'm not fucking day you do the hell that you were doing a thing. Oh it sounds like you ew hell.

It does sound like he no show the video, Hell up the evidence, y'all.

I got a hotel for two days because I was expecting a crash out. I thought I was gonna like literally be sad, and I was like, I don't want to taint the energy of the new house with sadness.

The crash out.

He fully did crash out, and he crashed out over not getting a text back, and he literally was the craziest I've ever seen him act, and he was tweaking out and he couldn't hear any positive reinforcements. So like, literally the three of us were just sitting and we were like, walk him lose his mind, and it was amazing.

But that's good.

That means I just have to get a really nice camera, so like for your big crash out. Oh, we're making taxi driver too.

No. Literally, Also, you have the video.

On your phone and you're not gonna see it, bitch.

But yeah, I got a hotel room for two days to crash out because I was like dark darkness, darkness, darkness. I didn't want to take the energy of my new home. And I did exactly that. And then mind you, I get to this hotel room and I'm alone, and I direct I go directly to the hallway closet, shut it behind me, and sit on the floor of it for an hour, just like in the darkness, not not being sad, just like sitting in the darkness. And it's a nice

No, that was nice. I think the I think the way you did it was perfect. Sitting in the closet.

Yeah, yeah, fuck, I set myself up every fucking time. Brou I know, I just like screamed my voice away. By the way.

No, you've been losing your voice over the past three days.

Should I like scream really loud and completely lose it?

Would you lose it?

I think yeah, I think so. And I think like people with racipy voices are so sexy, Like imagine like meeting all the people in New York and I'm like, hey, that would be kind of like, um yeah, Mickey seventeen bunk as fuck. We I saw Barbie's movie.

I have to see it.

It is so fucking good and like I.

Know, I've only heard people talk about how good it is.

It is the most like whole like feel good movie, like cry at the end, like, uh, it was so good. And Barbie's performance was legitimately like one of my favorite performances I've seen. I need to see it when in the last six months, like she went fucking ape shit, and like not that I didn't know she had that in her, but like to a certain degree, I was like, I was genuinely shocked. I was like, Oh, she's acting her fucking boots off, Like.

Dad, I'm so excited for like all.

Bob Trevino cuts hair.

But my media of the week.

Next time somebody pisses you off, just set them up to give you head, like the exact day you stop leading, like on that day that you know, if you did a few jumping jacks, you would like launch out like the last membranes. Just make sure someone gives you head right in that like radioactive state of disaster. And that to me would be the best revenge because what you're gonna be like the worst case scenarios that person walks away, ang the are like do her pussy tasted like fucking ass?

Tastes like butty tastes like a buttle?

Well they are very close. Yeah, that's so us.

Okay, the last thing I'll say is gonna hurt Drew's feelings. Wow, But okay, actually not really because I don't feel this way about yours. But you know, those wine bottles with the like the ones do you have in your room with that flip cap, Those at a restaurant make me feel so fucking nasty for some reason, Like I just feel like a bottle shaped like that does not get clean the amount it should be cleaned, yea, and to the extent it should be cleaned for everyone's nasty hands

Nasty fucking monster.

And that's how I feel about men with earrings, because they always get their ears pierced and then they never take it out and it smells like fucking ass crack.

Of Notre Dome. It's so fucking nasty.

But that is what I imagine for the wine bottle, Like things at restaurants is like it was just all that fucking gunk from naw go to restaurants and they don't wash their hands and they touch everything, and everything is fucking nasty and I hate those and I hate I know, sustainability. It is the ugliest fucking thing ever. Stop cutting glass bottles in half and making them cups, because it's not a foy, it is a bottle cut in half, and I hate those cups.

And like the bottom of wine glasses is so ugly. The nipple, like if I wanted to suck on a nipple, I'd get on my fuckhone and make it happen.

He'd come to me. And if I wanted to suck a nipple, I'd be sucking hers.

Oh that's so gross to think about.

Bobs deflated and I just have skin sacks and when I bend over, it literally like I look like the woman from barbering.

You know those like punching bags or yeah, that's what I'm That's what I.

Do, and I'm not gonna do anything about it, honestly, like for a long time, I was like, I'm gonn get my boobs one.

I'mnna get my boobs done. Honestly, there's something like crazy about that.

For what?

Literally for what?

Because I'm why, I'm so fucking in my head that I every everybody I met, I'd be like, I got my boobs done, and then like it would be like a useless conversation because I'm just like weirdly insecure, and I'd be like, you can you tell I didn't want something to my boobs because I did something to my boobs?

You would make it interesting because you're very interesting.

Thanks, But I don't want to because it's like too much work. Also, I genuinely think if somebody cut me open and I woke to that, I would kill myself.

Well that's what I'm saying the drainage pipes afterwards, Like I don't think you could handle.

That's fucking disgusting.

But I don't mean it's discussing like girl, if you get your shit done like fos like I just can't because something's wrong with me.

And every day my waking up, my whole existence feels like uh.

The like baralyze, I paralyzed the paralyze, paraly apparently paralyzed.

That was just every day.

The reason I think I smoke so much is because last year I became so just like disconnected, and I think about how often I called myself stupid. It was fully just because I know too much and I don't want to talk. I literally don't want to talk about anything. And every day my existence has felt like at least one moment I wake up and I come to and I'm like, apparently the paralyzed, that flusher bones of flusher modes of flusher modes.

Of lusher bones. That is what my existence feels like.

Literally.

But yeah, I really hate those restaurant nasty bottles. They're so fucking I also hate, like a restaurant dispenser, the plastic ones that like have the spring that they really don't work. And you know that whoever touched it last because you're about to do the same fucking thing is dig their hands in there. And I just think about how dirty. So I never use the top napkins because also those top naps against all the plastic, So like, if I use napkins from something like that, I'll make

You know what I hate is the soap dispensers that you have to go you have to touch. Yeah, you hit them, you or you hit it like with your palm and it squirts it out those because every once in a while, my fingers will graze like the mechanism underneath and it's like dried cake like soap that's been there for months, if not years, it's never been cleaned, and it'll flake into the palm of my hand. I hate that. Hate that. Also. I hate wet countertops more

Is the germs residing in the pool. Yeah, like pol is the body of the water, the body. The bodies of water hold water hold back to you, or the body of these water hold bacteria.

The brain, the body keeps the score. Everything about that. Think about that.

But yeah, I with all my time to myself in my brain, I have thought a lot about all the things that I thought were normal, and they're not because I don't think anybody should feel that way about wine bottles, but I'm sure someone out there feels that they get it.

Room Sid con Way that Enya might be into bestiality fucking with a goat like me. Okay, Enya's koochy tastes like laptops.

Sounds good to me.

BPD, bpd this bpd that I want to be putting this pee on his d Okay, that was from Gray Star. They asked me to call.

Them Gurger Gray Star Enterprises. That's what that sounds like. Your face right now, like for what you're looking up versus like the face of seriousness. You have the face, This is the face of seriousness.

Someone emailed me. So, my best friend and I went to Oaklawn in Dallas on Friday the twentieth. Around one am, we realized her phone was gone. We were so fixated on the missing phone, not even because it was an iPhone sixteen, but because we had waited over a month for our emergency intercom cases that were back ordered. We finally got them. I have the Annue one, she had the Drew one, and her phone went missing. All we could think about the phone case is gone. iPhone sixteen replaceable,

Well, we should send we should send her case.

Yeah, we should.

I'm literally such a good person. What the fuck? Like what I hear stories like that and genuinely I think send her case. No, that is crazy.

Also, how did you not notice your walt being so caught up about the case that you don't.

Realize your whole fucking wall is missing.

Also, I think like you are the type of person if your phone went missing, you would destroy the night. I think if my phone went missing, the night could go on. And honestly, the MC no, but I might get better.

I would not destroy the night. I really, if I was drunk, I would not destroy the night.

Oh if you were drunk, but you're never drunk anymore, so you would destroy the night.

Straight. Pubic hair scares me so bad. That is not a bush, That is a weeping willow.

Right right, I'm gonna pull your pants down.

I just read one that just like physic like made me cringe.

Umm, oh my god, imagine it was yours that made him cringe.

Oh yeah, if we weren't Brockhampton, if we weren't Brockhampton stands together. Please don't say we go way back.

Me when I was the colonel of Brockhampton.

Mmm, I'm a fly a lucky follower out to my house to fuck them. Okay, I'm a fly a lucky follower out to my house to tell them my theories. Would you break up with your boyfriend if you found out he could do the splits? Yes? Ups, United, Penis Services dropping dick off daily.

Okay enough.

I want to wax pussy for a living, but I'm scared of fuck. Oh wait, I want to I want to wax pussy for a living, but I'm scared I'm gonna eat one and get fired. That's literally me. Okay, well, my media media, Sorry, all those say ups suck.

No, that was awesome. I can't think of anything relationships by him. Loved that song.

Yeah, I was about to say that.

A no, no immediately No, okay, wait, actually I'll just go through the first six songs. I Touch, I Touched, roses By Book of Love were almost there. Michael Jose Somebody Loves Me Sister Sledge.

But Sisters four or five four and Borderline by Madonna.

I'm Borderline Personality Disorder by Madonna. I really have only been listening to Salem like.

Only that's a really scary lot.

I know, I know it's it's like normally when I listened to it like it feels, I can't. I can't say that the reason why I listened to it, But there's there's the normally when I'm listening to Salem, there's a reason, but I don't have that reason this time, and I'm listening to it just for fun and I kind of love it.

Oh that is awesome. Was it a sad reason?

No, I'd like no reason at all. Really, I just like it. Asia by Salem, Red Lights by Salem. I really like, uh, not much of a life. It's not much jove a lifely Oh.

Yeah, is that Lana?

No, it's Salem. Oh no, they sampled Rihanna, Oh hey, Dan, I like this song Thrown Around by James Blake, Hell of a Ride by Nourished by Time, and then gay Guy by DJ Assault And just know there have been a major there was a major event that happened in La that we can't talk about because Kai decided to fucking ditch us today. But we'll talk about it next week. We'll go into it. But just know I'm a star.

I want to be me, be me.

I'm on my Chris breathe, breathe, flawlessly sing Kitty Cat and countdown.

And just how do you beat?

Since he was eight, since he was on America's Got Talent? Wait, I just put something together that I can't say until after the podcast, and you're gonna die laughing. Yeah, but yeah, but okay, thank you guys so much for tuning in. We'll never leave you again, that is the lie. We will one day. We will one day soon probably we will probably vanish and there may never be us ever again, but there are fuck me fuck we may leave one day very soon, and I'm soft launching the demise of

Who would you believe me? True?

I bet who does it better me? All right, piecea la Bye guys,