The Twink And The Mean Lady

Welcome to this episode of emergency, and are calm.

I'm in the hospital.

You're not in the hospital. We can see that you're like not in the hospital.

Wait, did you get your back ground?

Yeah? I was gonna say, did you get your assistant to move all your furniture and stuff to the hospital.

Yeah.

I wanted it to feel more like home. So as you can see, I have blue comforter now I normally have a white comforter that's actually the hospital bed. And I just put some plushes and shit on it.

I thought that was like the techless stuff that they gave you.

Yeah, yeah, you're right, it is techless and ni shit. It's like it's just like I kind of made it.

It's easy.

I kind of made it. So I just feel good about myself. I feel happy, amazing.

I think what you need, like, Okay, I'm gonna be really real and like if it's too much, you tell me. I think what needs to happen to you is you need to go out for dinner with friends and it's like a really good dinner, right, and it's like so good, and like you usually don't get a drink, but you got a drink this night and you had a blast. It was like just like the perfect amount like loosening you up. You had like absolutely no perception of like

They are left there. They gave me the eleven and twelve and thirteen before it came out. I have the fourteen, but I had to keep it like really on the low.

Because is this your takeaway from me saying you should be jumped?

Well, yeah, I'm just saying that I have all I get all the iPhones, all the Apple products early, like that's why, like I'm.

So lit, and that's why you were saw after to be jumped.

Yeah, anyway, I mean.

Basically, you get beat up. I think you need to get beat up. That's what I'm saying. I think you need to get like absolutely demolished by sture.

I just I wouldn't let that happen, Like even in the hypothetical, like that just couldn't happen.

What would you do in the hypothetical, Like what would you change? You're a bit an email?

I have a gun in the hypothetical and a bomb.

Sorry, the police are after me because they found out that I called a hit man on you. That's what I'm admitting because I called a hit man on you what you said you had a gun and a ball. Yeah, no, you're in a residential neighborhood.

I don't give a fuck about the civilians. I'll blow them all straight up. Also, I worked out today. I have a nice little pump going.

I want to pump you.

Damn damn. Okay, well I haven't worked out. Hold on, I think I'll win it. Yes, hold on, is my mic peeking? It sounds like it's peaking. It could just be me. Okay, a little room updated rooms here, room tour. Uh, you're drunk. I drank this new protein powder because I got vegan protein powder because it's like, I do not need that much shit going into my body, that much dairy. And I got a vegan protein powder, and it was the most rancid thing in the world that I've ever

It was alcohol.

But yeah, the protein powder was literally rancid. It was just like ground up peas and legumes and grass and shit. It literally tastes like I went to a freshly cut lawn. Actually, no, three day old. The grash was already dried up, and I ground that up into a powder and drink.

It was into the little like piles. Okay, do they make lawnmowers that like suck that shit up? Yeah?

Right, uh I think, But they also have like leaf blowers, But they do have ones with backpacks on that like does like big vacuums, but I think they're less used.

But so your protein powder sex balls or it tastes like balls, it has you like gas up.

I'm also curious if it's because I did two scoops of protein pattern instead of one in the serving, and then I also added marine college into it. So I'm curious if it had a reaction or if I didn't have enough water.

Well, while I've been in New York, I've definitely drank more than I ever usually do. And now are you serving while I talk?

Yeah, a fucking course.

My god.

But I genuinely think I'm gonna have to go back to LA and like go to the hospital.

Because we're taking you to rehab. Girl.

Yeah, I've had too much of a problem. No, but I think like the mix of it, like I still am. What I will say is I was talking about this last night to a friend. I was like, I don't feel good that I've had like more to drink than

Yeah, And what that being said, let's have a shit a sip, shall we? Yeah? You've been in that fashion Week. I flew out for literally twenty four hours, I think it.

Was, which was awesome.

Same thing I've ever done in my entire life, Like the one of the most erratic decisions I've ever made, probably the most erratic decision. But I was at like the the I was, I was hanging out with Yoster and they were like, I'm I'm gonna have so much fomo about the party and about New York in general and everything, and I was like, oh, trust my fomo is like actually insane, Like I think I've gotten over it a little bit recently, but it is like it's dangerous.

I feel like you had like a really good time though, Like I feel like you you were like on such a good one that night, and I was like, Dawn, I literally was jealous, Like I was so jealous of like how much fun you seemed like you were having.

Yeah, I just like I had to have fun, Like I it would have been like the biggest waste of money ever if I didn't have fun.

So it would have been a financial hole of a decision.

Speaking of financial holes and me literally being robbed, me being robbed, Like we don't have to go into details, but I was robbed by an acquaintance.

And a mass robbing.

It was insane, uncomfortable, boiled my fucking blood. I've never been taken advantage of in this way before you say that.

Like I'm not like on call with you right now, like literally, hello, oh.

You just steal out of my bank account. It's different, I.

Guess because you don't stop me. Ever, you're just like, oh, she needs to stop doing that. Like, but you say that to people, you don't say like yeah, like it and I needed the Burken like I needed it yeah for fashion week.

Yeah I don't know. I don't think you needed it.

Well, they were taking pictures of me and I needed my broken for fashion week. That okay, let's talk about this fashion week. If you are like all the people who like partake in like the stopping for their photos

You're not.

Like, That's the thing is, especially seeing those rooms. I am not and I'm okay with that, Like I am okay with being like the least important person in the room. I do not want to go into those rooms and like be like looked at. It's such a weird game. But yeah, I just thought about that because like, ill stop, I can't. I can't.

Like, girl, the cops are going off today and you said blue lives matter.

No I didn't. I didn't.

Yeah, what was that?

What's I think? I farted? No, I literally farted. He forgot to turn off his mic and he fucking tooted.

Fuck I thought it was Yeah, I thought, I muted.

Do you want camera privilege?

Yes? Please beg me? Oh my god true? Can I please have camera privileges?

The thing is Kay's in like a dark, scary room, Like Kayle looks like he's like being held somewhere.

I know.

When I saw this background, I was like, are you okay?

Turn turn turn on the camera.

Yeah. Oh, I'm just in it like a room. It's like a normal rooms.

You were in a brick home, You're in someone's basement.

I am in someone's basement. Yeah, actually, yeah, this is literally a basement.

Is it actually?

Though?

It actually is? But like for real, I'm dead ass, like, this is a basement in an apartment in New York.

Are you cold?

It's pretty cold. It's really wet too. The floor is really wet.

Is it a dirt floor?

That's probably from you squirting all over it?

At that It's it's like their fault, you know, you know, like those chambers that Jagsaw would put people in in the Saw movies.

It's kind of like that, and you're okay with that.

I'm okay with it. I like getting treated like that.

It's crazy how you've ignored every single question I've asked and answered all of vinyas, it's.

Just like I prioritize, I prioritize attention from women because they, you know, they should be put on a pedestal.

In my opinion, honestly, I agree with that, Like why do you all have.

To turn everything into like proving that you don't hate women? You thinking for that answer, Like.

I'll stop talking, so I guess you just continue. Oh my god, I'm just gonna I'm gonna continue like writing my notes and doing all the back end stuff.

Yeah, well I'm gonna get arrested in a second, so you keep.

Cops are coming. They're literally out and about and proud.

But what I was saying is, yeah, it was so embarrassing, Like I know, like I haven't posted about being a fashion week kind of but like just so that people know the reality of it is, I one had to tap out early like I did the weekend, and I was like, I cannot do this anymore because it is the most humiliating thing ever, Like I cannot believe people have the kind of like self importance and confidence and not even in like a bashful way, like God bless that I wish I had that kind of like self

What's up?

Your camera is on? Are you drinking?

No? No? This is water?

Why do you have water in?

It's like a propel.

It's like tequila, Like why are you actually no, You're you're done, Like you're done camera?

What do you mean? I'm done?

Camera off?

We need to get a replacement for that guy I know, like who is saying no.

Yeah, the confidence it's it's like I was saying about like people who act in performing musicals and people who act in general and can perform on stage like that is so humiliating and the only way to combat that humiliation is being confident in yourself. And I wish I had that. I lack so much self confidence. Also, imposter syndrome has been going crazy lately.

I know, I walk into a room and I'm like, oh, I broke into this room. I'm like I snuck behind the security, Like it's so bad. Like like also just like also I'm very grateful for being able to be in the rooms, but I wish I had the like, yeah, I was invited into this room, so I'm happy to be here. It was like I feel like I forced them to let me in the room for some reason,

The thing of other other side of the range.

Yeah, I'm literally like I'm like weird niche on the internet, like extremist. No, I'm not. No, Drew, stop, you have to stop, Like we can't publicize that stuff because.

Like, well you said blue Lives matter. I'm a Republican, we should be a.

No, I didn't say that. You're saying all of that. I would never publicly say that because I'm smart.

Do you mean by that.

The idea that life in our private time we're like.

Just like blue Lives matter? Yeah.

No, I would literally pay money to see a timeline where we're sitting at coffee and we're like, and that's my thing, Like I just need on a shirt or something.

Literally this thing I got into an uber. Oh this is actually crazy. I got so. I was in your hotel room and I was hopping in an uber to go to the party. And I walk out and it's like a kind of fancy hotel, I guess, and like other people, cool people were staying there or whatever. Are my eyes too close together? I feel like they are. I think I'm just now realizing it.

Your eyes are not too close together.

But I guess they were like important people in that hotel that we weren't aware of because they were like paparazzi out front and I walk out and the paparazzi take mad photos of me, because oh that was the.

Night there was a really purple magazine had a party on.

The rowears that night. But I saw like a bunch of people that I knew, and a couple of people are like, hey, Drew, like I love the pod, Like whatever, I walk to my Uber. My Uber has a giant Blue Lives Matter flag on the back, not giant, like this big blue Lives Matter flag on the back of the car. And I'm like, these people just watched me get into this car with the Blue Lives Matter flag, Like what is going on? I hope they don't think

I don't know, It's just like, yeah, it is pretty crazy. Yeah, just like, also, is it that deep? Is anything you believe in? That deep? Put that ship on your car? Like really, Mitch, no, make me crash into the back of your fucking still not important. I'll crash into that thing if I see something that's intent because I'm gonna drive literally Also like that's not my business. I'm not planning, Like I'm not more likely to hit you if I don't know that there's a baby on board.

Like also I maybe see a baby on board sticker I intentionally swear towards those cars. It's just like this thing like need I guess you're testing.

You're also testing parental instincts, so like we need that and yeah, natural selection, like of course, like God gave us cars so we could, Like He'll be.

One that I quoted about that like dear that was on the side of the road and it was like, hold on, let me find it, keep going, but wait, let me.

Finish my awfully embarrassing, fucking Harper's Bizarre party. Very grateful that I got to go. It was a blast once I got insied. But like I I think I'm realizing, like I just don't. I'm like, like I've said, I'm an EmPATH. Like I'm just like like we're no different from each other, like you and me, as if you were like we are just people.

Wait, I saw TikTok the other day saying like enya once a day on the pot or once an episode saying she's an impath, and I was like, there's no way, Like that's a reach. She doesn't say that, you literally just said it.

I love I know I say it at this point, I think because I used to say it seriously and now I'm like, okay, bitch, yeah, I'm so sure. We're like I can be a cunt.

This is a quote. One day, while doing nothing particularly out of the ordinary, because of natural laws, he was completely powerless. Oh yeah, understand or into it. He was killed instantly in a horrifying way by forces vastly in excess of anything he was ever designed to experience, for no reason, to no one's particular surprise or upset. In this we are more like him than different. That's me talking to the babies about natural in the car.

After you fucking get the car. Are so whatever. I'm at this thing and I like feel I already feel like a fool because I think it's like very foolish for me to Andryan Beef, yes, because I fucked up and I made oryan late like it's squashed, but I really fucked up. That's the other thing. I'm like, damn, Okay, I don't know how everybody's so self sufficient and knows where to go and like and keep contract like next time I do like a fashion week, I need adderall bad,

Well just literally like making people late. I think you get off on it.

Yeah I do. No, it actually be so much anxiety. But I refused to view it well yeah, because it was like the fucking Fight for your Life challenge.

It was literally a war zone to get in there.

I have something else about that that's really funny and embarrassing, but anyways, I was like, oh, yeah, so I get pushed onto this carpet and literally someone famous is in front of me, and then it's me, and then it's a famous person. Bitch the silence. In my session it went for like.

Photos to like oh literally, like if I.

Was a photographer, they were like this. They were like.

They pulled out their iPhone to take a pure of you and then they were like moving along.

Literally with their fucking big as DSLRs. They were like, and then I do. It was just so embarrassing. And then because there was such a lull, some of them started taking photos of me out of like like literally pity. And then I was like, I don't want to be pity bitch. I don't want to be here. My team said I have to be here, but like, thank thank god I got invited, like I'm grateful for it. But I was like, oh no, no, this is like a

Don't have to feel behind you. We're so embarrassed. They were like, oh, that has to be the worst vibe.

I'm not kidding. I almost cried because I wanted to kill myself because I was like, this is just beyond a natural, like this should not even be a set up in general.

Fucking weird, Yeah.

I was.

I was like, this is so odd. And then I was like, hopefully, one day in the future, like if like I continue on my path, like that won't have to happen to me again. Because I was like, I genuinely cannot believe that people like are just so like tunnel visions for what they want that they are willing to like do that a bunch of times until it's like, oh, there's no doubt that you should be there. But I was like, I, this is so scary.

I'm going to create a reverse red carpet where it's a bunch of celebrities taking pictures of paparazzi.

Yeah, and then the proparazzi will fucking cry and kill themselves because then they'll get extonstential about the way they like put people on a pedesel. But I guess we need to.

Back paparazzi in the vicious way we just for me though.

You just want attention. You just want attent and you but yeah, And then the other thing is I got really insecure about pulling up to the Heaven event and like because I was like, oh, I'm scared that people will like see me step out of one. I was going alone, which already I was like, this is embarrassing. I hate getting in a car and being seen alone.

All that extra money for what? Tell them? Tell them.

They had the fucking they had the road closed off, so I had to walk up alone.

And you're fucking big ass boots, your shoes, hurting your ankles. Did you learn a lesson? What's the lesson you learned, because there's a very big lesson there.

I didn't learn shit, bitch. I was like, damn, my uber fucked up in what the wrong way?

Oh no, no, no, no, it's that you shouldn't care what other people think of you. Wait, hold on, write that fuck write that down.

You should you think that's an original thought.

You shouldn't care what other people think of you, because if if you do what other people want you to do, you're not even doing yourself. You're not even being yourself. And like the whole goal of life is to do you to be yourself, So don't do what other people expect of you. Do you know what I mean?

Do you think that that is an original thought?

Yeah? I just invented that. Right now, watch all the girlies in the comments, go ahead, let them know.

It wasn't even like a coherent finished thought.

All right, and we're back, Baby. We ran out of time because we are too stingy to zoom zoom. Yeah, like absolutely fucking not, but to totally want to aid the conversation I made my mom get be real and it is potentially the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire fucking life. We'll insert the photos. I'm sending them to you right now and you but it's maybe one of the cutest things I've ever had someone do just so I could see what her day to day life looks like, and like, it's just so sweet.

Oh she wait, was she doing her nails on the cruise?

No, she was doing them in right before she left. Yeah, right before she least she had to get looking good. But yeah, she's just kind of updating me day to day and I love it so fucking much. And it makes me kind of sad because I want to see them more often.

It's just like it sucks because it's like the lack of inconvenience of being able to drive to your family, Like it's just like it's such a bigger commitment than it is when you live with them, because it's one thing to just drive their house and then leave when you want, but.

It's like, no, you have to like really pack it up and make it worth your while and stay there for long so that it feels like it was worth like getting on a three to six hour long flight. What they need to do is give us as that are, like for you it would be an hour, then for me it would be like two and a half hours to get to my parents' house. Like put that bitch at hyper speed exactly.

But the craziest thing is my flight to New York was only four hours, which I was actually pissed about because I was supposed to sleep since it was a red eye. But it was four hours, a little less than four hours on a normal fucking airplane. And if they can do it.

Just crazy because that's supposed to be like almost a six hour fly.

Yeah, if they can do it, why don't they do it every single time? I don't get it, but I guess they do have to.

Like maybe it's like safety and like wind and stuff.

This bullshit, it's all bullshit. I don't need to be safe on an airplane. I need to get to where I'm going. I don't care how or when.

Probably the most high death like my fingers have been seen, like to the public ever, Like, isn't that kind of crazy?

Damn? Let me suck on those real quick, put them back, put them back.

I don't put this face your mother, you're my mother. But yeah, basically I was humiliated. I've been humiliated all weekend. But I got to go to some really good shows. I got to see Sandy Leang, which was a fucking dream. I got to see Bagon, which was a fucking dream, Sleigh. I got to see Puppets and Puppets, which was very good.

You should.

Yeah, And I was supposed to go to the Mirror. I was supposed to go to the Oh bitch, no, because I got this old ass iPhone. I was like, I might as well use my eyes while the mirror because these videos suck. But I was supposed to go to the air play show, but I had to tap out because I was freaking.

The fuck out because I like both.

Yeah, it was just like I couldn't believe being around and I'm not really I'm not that I'm not a social person. Like if I get into conversation with someone, I feel like I carry it out really well. But like when I show up somewhere like alone, I'm like, oh, I feel like again, I already feel like an intruder and a baby. Also, look at my hand right now, like it's a woman's hand. I was talking to Elsie about that and she was like, oh my god, like

True, No, I'm sixteen, bitch, don't ever say that to me ever. I fucking as.

Okay, well you're sixteen, but I need you to hurry up in h fastics. The fact that I spent all my time with a sixteen year old.

Is like, it's crazy that we're in our mid twenties.

Like, you know, what you want us to do is be like your own nest. Fuck Kui, But I love you.

You're aging gracefully for somebody with the genetics that you were gifted.

Yeah, hello, oh my god, Oh.

Your boatox looks really good. It's cool that Kai got a really good but talks that you can't tell that he has like botox and filler in it.

Do you have the face?

I don't know, I don't I swear to god it actually Oh yeah, it's that one hundred percent.

Baby come back.

Did y'all see that video of Zach Effron looking fucking terrifying, like looking like the mask?

Wait, yeah, why what happened to him?

Didn't he get like crazy filler or something.

No, everybody thought he got plastic surgery. But he was running around his house in socks and in his underwear and he slipped fell, hit his jaw on the ground. It was like hanging down and completely fucked up his jaw and he had to get like reconstructive plastic surgery on his serious, dead serious. He didn't talk about it because he was like he didn't even know what was happening until his friend was like, dude, the internet thinks you got plastic surgery. And he just recently addressed it

The bag?

Bitches, you said the bag?

Yeah, Well, what he was trying to do was trying to slip and fall on a dildo and just like kind of scoot around.

Wait, Drew, are you dead serious everywhere?

No, I'm dead serious about Like.

Wait, what movie? There's something that's something like that happens that they're sitting in the living room and they're trying to get someone to sign something and they're like running around and the guy slips on the rug and like hits his head and dies. Oh that's breaking bad.

Uh yeah, yeah, you know what was what I'm talking about? Yeah, the dude that likes Sky Yeah.

Yeah, yeah yeah. If you're watching the show when you just so happen to be in one of the last seasons, like who the fuck told you to watch this fucking podcast episode? You dump bitch?

Yeah? Literally, but don't stop, please, please don't stop. Ch actually ironically what the.

Zech everyone think is fascinating because like, I don't I still don't fully know if you're fucking with me, but like being serious, if you're serious, I feel like that's a lie.

No, I don't know. He also said it in an interview, and he was like, I just don't use social media because if I cared, and it sucks because like if I cared as much about how wait, if I cared as much about how much people think, does that make sense? Like if he cared about what people thought about him as much as people think and care about him, he would like lose his mind. But he was just like, I actually don't have social media. I don't give a ship, and I just collect my bag and I move on.

Columbia and got some jaw Feller, that's what happened.

Now, Yeah, he got he got fucking bike, flat bike juice pumped into his jaw. But he was in this movie called fire Starter, And the only reason why I watched it was because I thought it was like a Prodigy documentary, like the I was gonna make that joke and I started watching it and I was like, oh, this is a movie about a girl with like fire telekinesis and her parents are both like telekinetic, and.

That zac Efron wasn't it.

Yeah, he was the dad and he had to play like a serious dad role and I I'm not I don't normally say this about people because I am also bad at it, but dude, his acting and that was so bad, Like I literally like, I was like, oh.

Well, did you actually know? It was because he had a bunch of medication that he had to take after his fucking accident, so it made it really hard for him.

Didn't take any medication because it was it was a dildo up his butt and that stuff like stops pain.

It's yeah, well it hurt him because he doesn't do that kind of stuff.

The male is basically opium if you can hit it.

Have you guys seen or heard of that Zacha from movie where he plays like an aspiring DJ you brought.

I have heard of it, but I haven't seen it. Is it funny?

I mean it's like funny not on purpose because he's he's basically like he's like plays this white dude. That's like I need to be famous for make for being a DJ, and then he like moves to LA and the love lead is like Emily Radakowski and he's struggling to make this hit eight M song. And the way that he breaks through is his friends like, bro, you have to reference real life, like you have to sample the things around you. So he like is working on a roof and he's using a nail gun and he

It's there is like, actually, I'm not kidding. There's nothing more embarrassing than be like yeah, and I was flushing the toilet in like the sound, and when back up, I like like, Charlie Pooth, bitch, you need to go do pottery or something you.

God don't talk about. That's my twins.

You have got iPhone? Why is he always on that iPhone? If I had the money Charlie Pooth had, I would not be on iPhone dot com. I would be out like I would be like not on iPhone?

A gay? Oh, a man with an iPhone is gay? If you work from home, you're gay. If you eat Kiwi's, you're bisexual. Just say that why kiwis because that's a gay ass fruit because it's.

Like a little ball sack. But also when you open it, it's kuci.

I just I like think about a kiwi. Yeah, it is not a straight fruit.

It is a little fruity Yeah, you.

Got a little sugar in your taying can what the fuck.

Did you just said?

Was that a slur where you.

Call like that was really derogatory? Like what you say? It's like a thing that and during Pride month and during every month is Pride month, baby.

Get into it. And to me recently was like you know, do I've like been watching you walk for like three months now and like you're you have like a gayer walk recently and I and it has literally like freaked me out because I was like I do, and I like even recorded myself walking.

Lially those hips a little more.

You know what it is? It's because one of my legs is shorter than the other and it makes me walk weird.

No, it's because being ran through is having its side effect.

It's because I have such a giant fucking cock. It's like a tripod and I have to walk with three legs.

Speaking of this, I went on the subreddit for the podcast recently, and I think it's like the highest rated post on the subreddit, and it's the video of that little baby gorilla like and the title just says, Drew.

That video, recreate it. I'm literally going to recreate it.

Like that monkey is living so peacefully and it's because it doesn't have TikTok like dead ass. They need to do like a test run and give monkeys like iPhones that are connected to the internet and see what the fuck happens.

Like I'm pretty sure they have. They gave them like neuralink.

No, that's like, oh they did. They literally did.

And they die.

They all died. That's what that's.

Brain. I'm a human. I can take that ship. I swear to God. I want it so bad.

I don't think you will like that because you already think, bitch, you went through a whole phase where you thought people were following you. Oh my god, Drew.

Drew installing grinder into his brain.

He's like, get it out, Drew, just like just ignoring him, faking like he's doing.

And talking shit about me while doing it. I'm grinder famous.

I don't know if that's something to brag about.

Views the other day, they can they give you bitches of view count over there.

I see. The thing is, I've never had any kind of dating or hooking up app because I live in real life and I get bitches in real life and it's like super easy, like I get picked up quick, I'm after I'm hot, commodity like I don't. But yeah, y'all are fucking freaks. I'm just never going back to LA. I think, like, I don't like, I just don't feel like I need.

To go back me being in LA. I'm gonna fly.

Okay to do this. I didn't go back to LA because one, I want to see my family. So currently when this episode goes up, I will be in Miami and prepare my body to see Lady Gaga. Oh Hello, where did you go?

Hello?

Why did you get off the screen?

How are you gonna see Gaga without me?

I'm sorry I had to because you've been like, oh, I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight. So I was like, he doesn't want to see Lady Gaga, Like.

I want to see your mother.

You did miss Lady Gaga though, so that is kind of sad.

Is she gonna? Oh, I don't give a fuck about Lady Gaga?

Like who do you want to see? Like Jack carlow.

Yep, oh yeah, oh illo, mgk let go Griles, naked, mouse naked like you just a couple to name it? Things like you.

S can't say that about a woman you don't know, Like that's that's just how you feel. Why do you put your voice down so low, like it's like you're playing a character. So then it makes me confused because then I don't believe it.

You guys get so bloody pressed when.

A man, Oh you know what that reminds me. I'm gonna I'm gonna save a bunch of the topics I have for when we're back at home because I feel like it has to be the extravaganza episode. But why will this always be a thing?

You get a rich us, you can get a blue one. When people try to figure out our tongues are purple.

You cannot read, bitch.

That was crazy, Well I understood it was like why we get we each get a slushy ones red, one's blue. Then we make out and we make purple in our mouths.

Which one is not how that works, like that's it, but why is that has always been like since the dawn of time on the Internet, that has been like a thing people say, like let's go to seven and eleven and then make out like.

Like what are you talker?

Like, yeah, it's very tumbler, but like the fact that it's still happening with this like weird Vinny Hacker esque guy, I'm like, why will there always be like an awkwardly buff like young man who's like talking like this? And like why are there always people who want to see someone talking like this? Like the world is genuinely way too vast.

Like it is, girl, I was I stumbled. Do you remember the coffee family on Vine, like Peyton Coffee all those like that family, Well, I like they're basically like a content house family, but they like are kind of shrouded in like a lot of levels of love, like they do love each other, but they all make content and it's very scheduled or it seems very scheduled and

I want to date you? Can I see you? Can you please answer text?

It's literally crazy because like these little girls are like I'll date you, I'll date you, I'll.

D you to go swimming. Who wants to go on a date?

Back?

Why e physque update? Don't look at the caption, Look at me, she said? Dressed nice? Who else is excited for summer? Five people on my sorry post this on their story and tag me, oh what more to come? Like it's a one kiss is all it takes. Pick up the phone, one cass, It's all it takes. Yeah, I just.

Bitch, I got a zip of soda and I'm a while in the fuck ut.

Is gross that you were drinking that that is what is left behind at the gas station in the bathroom, Like what you just picked up and.

You were drinking it. I need you to tell me what this fucking is You carry on for just a second, but I found something underneath the sink, and it is actually maybe the most disgusting, scary thing I've ever seen in my life.

I did you keep it?

Because I wanted to fucking ask you if you knew what it was, because it's literally terrifying. It is maybe the source of the black mold in our house hold on Oh my god, this guy.

Anyway, Yeah, I just can't believe that there's always a space on the Internet for stuff like that, and it's like so crazy.

It's like, I feel like I saw this TikTok recently where it was like it was like a a like middle school lunch area and there are these two weird kids like making out. It was like the weird couple that were like way too physically affectionate and like weird's everybody.

I'm back. Are you ready? It's like, I actually don't think you're ready. What the fuck is this? What is this that's new? I know it's new, I don't know what the fuck it is. Drink Oh my god, I literally just realized what it is. It's my fucking cum jar. I forgot about it. This is like I got.

Scared that it was something like really bad and you.

Were like, gon, know this is actually I don't know what it is. Older. I asked Josh if you knew what it was, and he was like no, and Josiah watered my plants and I was like, what the fuck? But there's it doesn't stink unless I haven't. The fact that.

You see that under the sink and you were brave enough.

To give it a whiff, well, no, I I grabbed it out and I was like, I was like, I need the water my plants. Oh, it's water Wednesday. Everybody, you should change your watering schedule for your plants to Wednesday, so you remember, ww water Wednesday. You only need to water your plants once a week. That's a big mistake everybody makes as they water them every day. That's why. But I pulled it out and I was like, what the fuck is this? And I was like, oh, maybe

You clarifying as a four year old, like because you've had worstship as of now, Like as a four year old, that was the worst thing ever, But now it's probably.

I started doing crazy shit.

It sounded like you needed like government involvement in your childhood. Yeah yeah, alright, wait ky, what were you saying? You said the TikTok the two weird kids.

It was just like, yeah, it was like an eighth grade lunch area and there are these two like kids like all over each other, like straddling each other. True, what are you? What are you doing?

Okay, oh he's lip syncing. He's lip syncing too.

Oh okay. Yeah, so they were like straddling each other. And then the comments was like why are they Why is there always like a super horny, weird couple at everybody's middle school? And I was like, I had that at my At my school, there were like weird kids that were for doras.

And I'm so envious of those kids because they are able to be themselves. Oh my fucking god. Wait, they took my advice and be yourself because first you have to love yourself.

They were taking your advice, Like why do you keep saying that, Like you've definitely been told that are you gonna love.

Someone else if you don't even love yourself?

That one's good too, Drew. You should write that down.

Can you write it down? No? But I fully know what you mean. And I am unironically like jealous of those kids because they fully are literally themselves and they're okay with it. And I bet they were raised by really cool parents. Yeah.

I never had that experience because I was like quarterback, like I had that. Yeah, exactly.

Well, in my middle school, all the popular kids were the horny ones, like the quiet kids, like, we're not like the horny ones, Like the popular kids were always ones being fucking horny and doing crazy shit.

I was supposed to be one of those quiet, weird kids, but I faked it.

That's when you made it. Yeah you did.

You're still now. I'm an inspiration to all of them. And I love you. Look look at me, Look at me. I love you. I love you. Why don't we go on a date. Leave it? Like if you want to date me?

I want like someone to go into my ear with like a pressure washer.

Girl, I have a penis. I can do pressure washing with my wiener.

Yeah, I'll just like take it and you know when you bend a host so that the pressure is like stronger, I'll just do that with your wiener while you're you.

Just pinched the tip a little bit, put your thumb over it.

Yeah, okay.

So there was this TikTok of worms that have been had had their guts populated with literally me plastic plastic eating bacteria. So these worms can eat bacteria and then the I mean eat plastic in the bacteria and their guts dissolve it and make it what is it compost waste? Yeah, bio waste. I don't know, but it's like it makes it so these worms can eat plastic and survive and then break down plastic as well, so it's life saving, earth saving whatever. Why was I tagged in that video?

Because you've talked about it. That's how I know about that.

Actually talked about it.

Yeah, you were. You were like, they they've done this, and they need to like step it up so that we could just keep using classic, which is actually one of my notes. I was like, damn, it's actually shameful that plastic is so bad because it is so fun. Like I love little plastic things like that's it, I think, And I love being wasteful.

Okay, yeah, I was about to say, you're losing me there, but I like being assuming as much garbage and shit as possible. To fill the landfill and create more garbage on the ocean islands is actually my goal, Like that's really what I want to Yeah, that's what.

I'm thinking, Like everybody, I just like to be going against the grain, and I feel like everybody is like, oh my god, we got to do this. We got to do that, but I think, like, I'm going to buy an island and see how fast I can feel it with my own track.

That is actually fucking genius new mister Beast video idea, Mister Beach, mister.

Pace is the least sustainable human.

On her Okay, speaking of sustainability, this kind of taps in so like, if you look around my room, it's pretty like maximalist, like I have everything all it, all the time. Today it was the first time that I came home and I was like I was already kind of in like a bad mood, not like a bad mood, but just like it could have became a bad mood. And I looked around at my space and I freaked the fuck out. I was like, there's too much shit

But I think about that too. I'm like, damn, at one point. Well, I stopped having stuff, but I like having stuff. I think we just need to do a better job at like spreading it through the house. But that would mean like buying more furniture for the rest of the house. And I'm like, are we gonna move? Like what is our issue? Like, I don't know.

I sent you a new house. I sent you a new listing that is literally below our budget. Four bedrooms, three bath and it has house in the back. One of the bedrooms is a house in the back that has a kitchen in its own bathroom attached. So we can make that either the podcast story studio or my bedroom either one.

Well, I actually just looked it up and fucking Charlie bought the house.

Themelia Yeah Charlie Charlie challenge. Put two pencils on top of each other and ask.

Dixy looks so good with the shaved hand.

He fucking ate down. I don't do that shit about her not eating because she fucking ate I.

Would not survive with a shaved head.

You kind of did, though you have like a tiny little haircut.

I just have to like I have like a like a wider baby face, and I don't have the jawnline for that from certain angles.

Itch.

No, if I had a shaved head, I would literally look like a neanderthal. Like, I would literally look so bad. I already have like kind of the like caveman forehead a bit, and if I shave my head, it would be bad.

We'll just shave that braw bone down. Girl, you're my neanderthal.

Maybe, yeah, well, I'm just like a furry man. I have hair all over my body and like I love my fur and like, yeah, you.

Got a nice big cock too.

It's funny because you only get so many words to share every single episode, and those are the ones you choose.

I know, I have like a tweet amount of words each episode.

We'll give you one twenty.

Character forty four characters.

Okay, this headphone is like actually hurting my ear. I feel like I'm bitch. Im about to start fucking answering calls with this big bitch of my ear.

The one TikTok, the twink and the mean girl. Oh friend putting on.

The mean lady?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, her boyfriend putting on her program, which I fucking love being called a program of the twink and the mean Lady.

I know I was like, you know what, that is a pretty good first straight twin, first straight twink right here, No, Drew, I think they like, I don't know that they identify you as straight, which maybe we have to clarify that you are the first straight twink.

Oh no, I commented it okay alert.

And I saw that and I was like, damn, am I really classified as the mean lady? And then I was like, you know what, like on my friend Leebwood, shit, like yeah, on my friend Lee Wwitch Joan Rivers Yeah, and fuck you bitches, I will.

Say, but being bitter and hateful is over.

Yeah, it is like I've been like tapping out, like you would be shocked. Someone brought someone up that I would love to talk about, and I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna be giving my energy here anymore. But I will continue to be hateful like there is no one doing that, Like God gave me that one strain of DNA that makes me bitter and hateful and honestly like it is my one joy in life is like complaining and being a fucking cunt. Like I am nice to the people I love and I am nice

I'm just fucking with you, and.

Even ones who like give me a reason to be a bitch. Usually I'm too frightful to actually be mean to strangers because I'm like, you know what, that's not worth.

They're gonna hit me.

Yeah, I'm like, you're crazy and you might fucking hit me, bitch. Yeah, but yeah I will.

I will be better than hateful. I think I'm tapping out of it for now. It comes in waves like I'm like, I love being hateful. I love being hateful. I am the meanest person alive. And then I dip way deep down and I'm like, I don't want to partake in the shit talking. Like as much as I used to love it, it just isn't for me right now. However, of course, I say this every single time there is one person when their name is brought up, I.

It's going down.

It's deserved, It's deserved. Let me just say that much.

Also, like we need to clarify we don't sit around and like talk shit. What we really do is sit around with our friends and put on really fucked up dumb videos on YouTube and then crack up at it and the fucked up dumb videos of question, aren't that fucked up and domb We're literally like, let's look up lightning.

And flooding about to say, chance is futile when life is infinite? Think about that?

Life is not infinite?

Well like the universe?

True? True?

Think about that. I'm thinking like, basically, if the universe is infinite and if time is infinite. Sorry, I fucked up the quote. Chance is futile when time is infinite. If it really does go on forever and ever and ever and ever, in eighty trillion billion quadrillion years, there will be another universe where we host a podcast and accept of it doing well, it tanks and flops.

Bitch, true, that's what's happening.

Are we in our flap era?

We're in our flop era?

Well, no, what it is is We're not in our flap era because the same people tune in each week, but not enough bitches are making tiktoks.

Yeah, like where are the first?

You know?

What it is? Too? Is like I don't. I'm always like where why don't people thirst over me as if I don't post a photo every once a month. And it's like the photo of me in question is literally dark light and like you can't see me.

I'd like to take ig pictures I haven't posted since me. Well, well broke up.

We have the nude ones of you. Oh I actually I caught up with Bella and like, she misses you. She misses you a lot. She she was like, granted, like she was off a kin or two, but she was like she was going in. She was like, I missed them, Like I miss his smell sometimes when I walk by, like like like a wet towel that's been out for too long and like was folded up on itself. I'm like, oh, like that it'll do remind me of True And I miss him a lot.

And yeah, are you like are you are you telling the truth right now?

Because I'm freaking lying. Bitch, I didn't fucking hang out with belhadid Are you dumb? Like why, like in what world would shell yourself?

Bitch? Die die? You're gonna die. You're gonna die.

Ew me when I'm on a eagle at the age of ten and I'm covering my camera, all right, Well that was it for this episode.

Thank you guys so much for listening. And here's my media. Also good news, I will not be cutting my hair anymore. It's finally at a healthy length and I cut off all the dead ends. I know people are gonna be like, oh my god, it feels like your hair hasn't been growing, But it's actually because I've been cutting it a lot, so don't be mean to me. No one said that to me. That's just me, like being insecure. I have really bad news because I've still just been listening to

Say, yeah, I'm seeing Stereolab on the fifteenth.

I Love Your Smile by Shnis. Is still something in rotation? Yeah, I have nothing new in rotation, Sorry guys. Oh but I did watch Funny Pages and I really liked it. Good movies, really did movie. And I watched class Action Park and I loved it. Except I hate when like fucking people who are in their forties are like I just grew up at a different time. Oh man, it was the fucking best, which is like something we do. We're always like we're the lust generation that went outside,

But yeah, okay, word well, uh, I've been listening to a lot of new stuff recently. Actually, obviously I have to shout out Young Lean's new songs. Lazy Summer Day is actually a smash hit and y'all need to recognize now before it blows up later so you can say, oh, I was there before it blew up, because this is another like pop off song for him. I've been getting into. I think it's Bauhaus b a U H a U S. And I really like Bela Lugo. C's Dead the official version,

Also, hearing that live was awesome. We never I don't know if we ever said, but they invited us to the show and it was so good.

Yeah, it was literally such it was insane. Is so good, it's sick for sick is so good. But also this is a crazy new development. Mazi star is in my rotation.

Oh you've been You've been tapping into missus Mazziana.

I haven't gone too deep yet. I've only really listened and listened to like Fade into You and Cry Cry. But Fade into You is like on this same level of hyper as like hyperballad in my brain, where like I can scream every single lyric to that song and I like and I can listen to it over and over and over again, and it's one of those songs that it's so embarrassing but I put it on and I literally feel like the main character, Like I am like the main character.

It's just such a good song. You should listen to the album among my swan so the one that Cry Cry is on. I love that album. Also, you have like a minute left because Zone is gonna cut us off.

And then Uh. For media, I've been watching for movies and TV. I've been watching the new Game of Throne spin off really good, but with all that said, thank you guys so fucking much for listening. We love you, genuinely, thank you, like on ironically, thank you for tuning in each and every week like you are amazing.

And can't wait to be back at home in our stink dungeon, in our stinky dungeon set