The Rapture Happened And This Episode Will Only Get Three Views

It feels very weird today, Like there's like a like a chill vibe going on right now, not like a weird vibe, but like it's like very like relaxed and not tense, and like.

Zin, I'm I woke up today with zero thoughts. Yeah, I like I have nothing to give to the world, and I don't know what's going to happen for this episode because I literally.

I don't know.

I actually feel the same way and I still have zero thoughts right now, Like it's like nothing is going on in my brain, which is like crazy because that never happens. Everything is always happening all the time.

In my brain, literally thinking we were all at once.

But yeah, welcome back to emergency Intercom.

Did you just take that flat coke out of the fridge for your caffeine.

Of the day. Yes, I was like, I wonder why I'm feeling like shit right now because I haven't had my watered down flat Coca Cola of the day.

You have too, you have to to choose.

It was actually Doctor Pepper, which oh, I'm like kind of dabbling with. I like I am normally a very anti Doctor Pepper person, strictly Coca Cola but right now I'm in a doctor Pepper phase and it's kind of crazy.

I think they gave me doctor pepper because that my dream did not taste like coke.

Yesterday, I've been sipping on it. It's coke.

It tastes so funny.

Like yesterday, I only had a few SIPs because I was like, this isn't given me that like that coke pizazz.

You've been drinking coke?

Have you been drinking the like Mexican colas, like the Mexican cokes, and I think like those those definitely taste very different, and I think maybe you might be used to that one because we've been drinking a lot of those recently.

Yeah, those are the best ones. It's either can coke or like Mexican coke and a glass bottle. Because if you are drinking coke out of a plastic bottle, which is something you do, you're a menace to society. You're probably you don't have much longer to live. I don't know how to explain that one.

Those BBA plastics are infusing with water and that's why I am the way I am.

Or with the Coca cola, your microplastics from your Coca Cola Classic bottle.

They we need more microplastics.

Like I think we've made this comment before, but that is how you really knew, you like, what class your family was in when you were growing up is if your family bought the two lid of coke or separate cans.

My family was a two lider coke.

And mine was separate cans, but we buyt Also with that said, we bought like Shasta Cola. I know somewhere out there knows what sh Asta Cola is, and it's like it's like Doctor Thunder Shasta Cola, like not Mountain Lightning or some shit like that, and it's literally just all off rand sodas, and Shasta honestly taste better than Coca Cola, but I can't find it here, so I'm just stuck with Coca Cola. But I grew up on Shasta.

I think the popular like flavored sodas in Miami, like publics makes.

Their own flavors. But I might be tripping, but I think it was Crush.

Like Crush was the like flavored soda that I had all the time, because I used to sell at my school for fifty cents and the strawberry crush or the grape crush.

But there's another brand that I can't think.

Oh wait, I think that might be Yeah, I know what that is, just that's actually the brand I'm.

Thinking of, uh, like these cans, Yeah, like that can in particular.

D I'm actually never gonna remember.

There's another one that's like, it's kind of like a brand that does that it's not crushed. There's a brand that does that kind of shit that they would sell at school, and I can't remember.

It might be that same brand because they do like all the off brand ones. Because we never had coke.

It was always like a cola drink, but no fucking freaker was drinking the fake coldon Mountain Rush.

We got Shasta cola strawberry and we dabbled in that a little bit. What else did we drink?

Shasta?

Who the fuck came up with that? That has to be someone's name, And they're like it's an ode to them.

Because who was like, oh my god, you know what we should call our soda Shasta?

Every time we look it up, there's like mountains Shasta and I'm like curious.

If the water is like in Washington.

Yeah, I think I'm curious if they take the water from the creek and Mount Shasta and make Shasta cola. And also, have you ever thought about like a Coca Cola? Like we're literally drinking sludge, Like I shouldn't be drinking something that I can't see through. And the fact that I can't see through this and this is going to my body and my kidneys and liver are having to

Yeah, who was saying that? Someone was literally saying that to me. Oh. When I was in a store in New York, the worker was talking to me and they were talking about how like they really like Snapple and they were like, I don't count like.

Calories from drinks because like there's no way to calculate that because we just shouldn't be fucking having it, like water has zero like calories, because that's the only like we shouldn't be consuming a beverage that like also partakes and like carbs and calories.

Yeah. They were like that's just like that seems like not what God intended at all, like.

Like like literally like mud water like tea leaves, like tree leaves and water, and that's it, Like that's what our bodies were made to process, and somehow we're processing sludge. I know.

I was thinking about that, and I was like, but that's not going to stop me from drinking coffee.

But I'm just such a drinkerly low key, like coffee is natural like beans, yeah, they come from beans, beans, My milk is coffee will be oils.

Yeah, I need my oils and microplastics. Like That's another thing is like all these vegan substitutes are hell like like processed in like probably really just as bad for you than like eating an animal.

I don't think there's any like.

Diet that's good for you other than like this is so annoying because like I don't want to be like this is a good dart for you, because I don't know shit from shit, but I.

Would think, like good is the diet that's good for you?

Yeah, that is that is the truth.

But I'm like on a just a human level, not raw veganism, because like, bitch, you can like use a fire like caveman, you had fires. I don't know why you have to not cook shit, but like just like that kind of me, and I'm like, that is the most primal diet.

You can do.

Like I'm eating gathering our nuts and berries from the forest, Like that.

Is so crazy. Animal.

Yeah, I was like, didn't we like animals?

We beat the fuck out of some chicken.

Yeah, like this is good. The only reason why I think we've talked about this, the only reason why we're alive is because the women just gathered the nuts and berries and we had our protein. And then men would go out on our stupid fucking hunts once a month and come back.

And chase each other around with sticks and stones.

And come back with like an elk every three months, and then that's like all the village had to eat. And the only reason where live is because the nuts and berries.

Also the drink our drink in Miami or like in my area, that was popular was fago.

We were literally like.

Damn still drinking. I don't know what that from Six Dogs.

Rest in Peace, but strawberry fago and grape fago.

My wait, is it juggalo yea.

Sponsor drink of Juggalos?

Really?

I think I found that out in like high school, and it greened me out because I was like, that's not I've never heard that word in my life. But yeah, fago was the thing you would go on Wednesdays at my elementary school. They would sell Papa John's pizza for a dollar slice and then they would have the usual, the pickled eggs, the pickled sausage, airheads.

Faga did you ever go like this with an airhead? Everything I'm saying right now, I feel like I've literally said.

On the absolutely you shake it down.

So it was cause like a little TUTSI y roll. I remember the kid who went on to try and bully me later on taught me that. And there was this kid who, like I used to be really close with and then once we got to like middle school, we became distant for like no real reason. But I think he had like a lot of jealousy because he used to like me, so he was like really mean to me, but it never hurt my feelings because I

About that.

Oh and then one time and the one time, his best friend at the time came up to me and asked me out.

And my best friend at the time was standing next to me, and because I was a belligerent cunt, she jumped.

In and was late. And you dropped the first beliger in two episodes.

Let's celebrate.

I think I said it last time, so I'd not been saying it.

I don't know if you said it last episode.

You know what it is. It is because at the end of the day, like bitch, we.

Had an entire conversation about it.

I think that was the Zoom episode.

I don't know anyways, but the thing about me is I will cling onto one word for a certain amount of time and then you will never hear it. So there's a chance that belligerent is dead and gone, but.

She had a dead cat bounce, like she came back for a moment and then she's gone.

But I was a belligerent cunt, and my friend tried to be funny and like stupid, and.

She was like, no, she's not gonna fucking date you. Like she was so mean to this kid.

But I actually really liked this kid, like not romantically, but I thought he was like really cool and like a sweet person. So he literally got so sad and like cried, and I felt so fucking bad. And it was in front of the kid who was trying to bully me, and then he was like, see, she's such a fucking bitch like about and I was like, how the fuck girls are?

It is my fault. Yeah, girls are counts. Girls like suckballs.

Like literally, you know, I was gonna wear those uh silver clips. Yeah, I was gonna wear them today and I didn't realize you had them on, but like we literally would have been matching had I worn them. But I had one in the one your anime one that I litally stole from you had it in. But my hair is like.

Too thick, yeah, so it like sits on top.

Yeah, it doesn't like pin my hair down. It literally just like my hair will fall with it. Anyways, That's why I.

Stopped wearing them, because it was good when my hair was really thinned out and short, because I could just clip them on in my head and they wouldn't do that.

But now, yeah, they like sit on the top layer. Then when you move, it moves around and it looks so fat.

It looks just beat as fuck.

I need to know something about my hair. We need to both do something about our hair.

Something big is coming with the hair, Like let's just say that, like I don't know what's gonna happen. Something big is coming.

I'm gonna avoid getting a haircut because I don't want to lose any length even though my ends are belligerently.

Then, have you gotten a haircut since we started the podcast?

No, I have not like trimmed my hair at all.

But I think my ends are just like fully breaking off now finally, especially when I straighten it, like there is length to it.

But my hair is just too thick, like it's I don't know how to plan it.

It like doesn't look as thick, but like if you go to touch my hair, it like doesn't feel awesome, Like I don't know, it's like not like in an unhealthy way, but like there's just this stack of fluff right here from all the layers that.

Are gathering right here and finally growing. I brush my hair every single day, especially too thin it out, So I don't know what to do, and I don't want to go get it thinned out because then it's gonna readd those layers.

So what are you supposed to just have it grow out and then you like chop it.

What I should do now is get like an inch trimmed off so that like it just like it'll seem like it's growing faster, because I'm sure I'm experiencing like endre off because my ends right now are the part that was like bleached, so in certain lights you could see that it's like a way lighter shade than my natural color. But I don't want to do that because I refuse to lose any length.

On my hair, because my hair will be longer than yours once you do that.

The thing is you say that, but it's like never once been longer.

Than it's longer than yours just because I have or you can't tell because I have curls. Like if we shaighten my hair, it would be longer than.

Yours would We both have curly hair, So I don't know, Like the only difference right now is I've brushed my hair.

I've got the ringlets at the end.

I pulled one because you don't brush your hair.

Curls, and it went all the way down to his ass.

Yeah, that's just not true. Look at him yanking it out for length.

No, you know it's fucked up? Is that? Like I do not take care of my hair so much that like literally little baby dreads start forming in the back, and like when I'm brushing my hair, like every once every two weeks, I literally have to pull it to the front and just fucking rip out the little mat ball.

And I just like, okay, there was one on the couch yesterday and I thought it was a fucking bug and I was like, oh my god, and it was just a ball of hair and I was folding my launders. I was like, is this lint? But it wasn't. It was like human hair.

No, it's my Like, it's it's my little like ball of hair that I have to break up. And you can like see how fucked up. My hair is from it. Like do you see that how it's like all short in different spots and shit. Yeah, yeah, that's like what's I don't deserve my hair. I don't deserve it.

I take care of my hair for the most part. No, actually, I do a good job of taking care of my hair.

The problem is it's just the ends are bleached and the color keeps fading. But I don't want to keep adding color because last time I did it, my ends were like black and then I took a flash photo of myself and it was like brown and then black, and I was like, oh my god, and I was really embarrassed.

Did the like texture of your guys's hair ever change? It's like my hair used to be straight and now it's like kind of curly.

No, my hair, my hair did because of bleaching it like, and also with with length, your hair can change because of like how heavy it gets. So realistically, like I'm very fucking excited for my hair to be long because then like right now, since the ends are so short, the end like or the front like framing parts are so sure they ring it up.

Really heavy when I like let my hair dry and then the back because it's more heavy. It like kind of weighs down and it doesn't get as curly.

That's not what happens to me, because you have falls naturally beautiful.

Look how fuck up your head looks like?

The thing is like I wish I had the delusion you had, because look out up the top of your head.

It's like it is so frizzy and mean.

And now I'm insecure and now I have to go get basebook showing virgin top of my head. I've never ever done that. I was like, you know, I'm gonna be brave today. I'm not wear a basbot cap because, like you know, people probably think I'm bald under there, but you know, Baseball Captain coming. Because then you had to fucking attack my hair. I did not attack your hair. You did.

You fucked it up.

I don't care. He was literally gaspling me. Anytime I spoke about my hair, he had to one up me and say that his hair was more beautiful. When I'm opening up about my insecurity about my hair.

Which had do you think it's gonna be think it's gonna be mo loa or praying.

It's gonna be praying? I think.

Yesterday, just like yesterday when I heard last episode when I was like, you know, I'm feeling kind of depressed, and you were like, actually, I'm really happy. So it goes both ways.

I was lying. I was literally lying. Well, I was lying too about being depressed.

Something about my hair being prettier than this. I know, it's fucking disgusting.

I feel like this is like marriage counseling sometimes periods where I'm like.

No, it is. Sometimes it gets like so real for no reason.

Not on my end, though, because I know how to control myself. I know how to control my emotions. Like I'm just like a well cut person. What am I saying something wrong? Guys, I'm just talking about myself.

Anyways, I need to get a hair trim, but I fucking refuse, so my hair will just continue to break off and say this length for the next five years because I'm not gonna do what every TikTok tells you to do. What is that to give your hair a trim?

Every fucking bitch who cuts hair is like, you need to trim your hair. I saw someone do like a display where they poked holes in a thing and like pulled out yarn and showed that like your split ends will just continue to break if you don't do it.

I was like, oh, that's nice, and then I just ignored it and I kept moving on with my life. We're both so obnoxious right now with our shirts, and that's it. That's all I have to say, because they're both really good shirts, but it's like obnoxious, like graphic tea Sleigh, what do you mean?

Like both of our shirts are like annoyingly priced.

No, mine was cheap.

What's cheap?

What I got mine for cheape? These are normally like four hundred dollars and I got it for seventy five dollars, which is cheap for like this shirt. I know, seventy five dollars for a fucking twenty year old T shirt is ridiculous.

No, but that's what I'm saying is like within like there's like certain parts of the internet that like get that, and they they don't question it because like which we're kind of on that side where we're like, no, that's like a good T shirt, Like it's good, And then there's other parts who are like I would literally never spend that on the T shirt. But if you're like a part of the T shirt Slagh you're a part of the T shirt slay.

Like if you get it, you get it, like vintage graphic. T's the way the shirt falls, the way the the way the shirt, and like the way the fabric feels like the T shirt making companies just don't do that anymore. So I refuse to wear any like brand new shirt other than my Claro merch.

The way someone else's sweat has thinned out the fabric so it's like literally the thinnest fabric.

It's bleached a little bit and there's like holes and fraying, and the graphic is cracked. It's just like, yeah, perfect, perfect in every way.

I literally, I genuinely have nothing else to say.

Also, they like one time I stood up to slap Kai in the episode and there was like a stain on my pants and like, this stain has literally been here for like probably two years on these pants. And I sit up and they were like, oh, Drew has like ketchup stain on his pants. I wonder if he was eating French fries before something. And I was like, no, it's literally pain, like it's been here forever, and no, I can't wear these pants out in public because of you.

It's funny.

One episode you can go from being the most big headed person ever and like loathing.

I need depressed right now. I'm depressed right now.

So now, the sexy compliments they don't get through.

No, they don't come through.

You know what you need.

They need to be louder, they need to be heard. I need to hear them.

I forgot where.

Oh, we need to put you on like the TLC Makeover video and show and see what they would do to you.

Like, there's like not a thing they would fucking do to me because I'm literally like already like basically perfect. But it's hard for me to see that, but other people see that in me, so like they wouldn't really have to change anything about me. They would just have to like be like you're perfect, and then like my complete my demeanor would completely change.

The TV industry used to be so fucking crazy because I'm like really thinking about that show and I used to watch the funk out of that show.

That show is so fucked up.

They would literally film these people out for like two weeks to get their ugliest fucking fits.

On camera and then show it to the world. And then that girl and guy.

Would just stand in the room and be like, you don't fucking care about yourself, You're so fucking ugly, and like would just say that to their face and this like poor person would just be like, I'm so sorry, like this is how what makes me feel good.

And it'd be like, that's really sad, that's so sad.

You need to conform more. You need to be more like a normal person. In conform, we're gonna make you normal. We're gonna normal pill you and all literally all take your normal pills.

I don't have any normal pills. I was born normal. I've been normal.

I what I was seeing it that was on and it is I could hear it buzzing the entire time.

It's fine.

I put it on because I was scared of how like sweaty we would get because I was like getting sweaty walking around.

I sweat way too easily. And it's like a problem. I like, don't get to wear tank tops in the summer because it's really fucked up.

Yeah, I was just talking to Mason about that yesterday.

Like I like, don't like my skin on skin will make me sweat ten times more. So I have to wear a T shirt to catch my sweat because then it'll trick my body into stop sweating.

You should just go naked around the house. No that I don't care. I wouldn't. I wouldn't care if you did that.

No, but I would sweat more or if I was naked.

But I'm just saying you should just do that just for fun, for me, wait for you, or for you. So you like chill out, You need to fucking chill. You need to fucking chill right now.

The world feels so quiet right now, I'm actually greening.

At I know. It's like scaring the fuck out of me, Like are were people? Yeah, we're the only three people alive. Like I'm not kidding. I was just saying that, Like why haven't I heard a cargo by a plane zoom by? Like I haven't heard anything? What if? Like I've been manifesting this by watching the Last Man on Earth? Like what if we are the last three on Earth and we have to repopulate the earth?

I would immediately kill myself.

Girl, Oh my god, wait, the world is ending because you're not having sex with Kain, and I can't have sex with you.

I literally just said, very loud and clearly, I will kill myself.

Like Andrew will just try to have a child.

We'll make it work. I'll like break into the estrogen factory and we'll try to figure out.

Break into the exchagen fact.

We'll try to figure it out, saying it like.

It's like a fucking toy factory. I'll break it to the extragen factory.

There's gotta be one on this earth. Do you think Google would still be up if the world ended? Like how long would it still be up for?

I think it would be up for a quite a while.

Oh, then we would be so fine. I could learn how to fly a plane and we could go literally anywhere. I'm serious, Like we can literally think.

You can learn how to fly a plane from Google?

Well, I yes, that's like how pilots learn basically, like they do like flight simulators and shit, I'll drive to a flight sim like learn how to fly on that, and we can go literally anywhere anywhere on the world and live out like the last like five years of our life because we would be killed by something.

But isn't the one in like traveling seeing other people. So then you would just get to these desolate places and it would be kind of.

Sad experiencing it shared experiences, experiencing it with other people.

You would only be experiencing it with Ka because in this hypothetical I am dead, you.

Would I can't be left with him?

Why not?

He'll attack me.

No, I actually understand that feeling sometimes sometimes when you go to your room and it's just me and kind in the kitchen, like I check my pockets to make sure I have something.

He steals, he lies, he attacks.

I've never done any of that.

That's exactly someone who does that. Yeah, that's exactly what they would say. That's weird.

And you wouldn't even give it like.

Kill myself, like I'm not kidding, instantaneously, like without like without a second thought, Like it would be done because.

You wouldn't even like a tent to repopulate the air.

No, whitch, I don't want to be pregnant on the earth for nine months, because that's the thing is like, when you think about that repopulated baby running around with no fucking friends, it's going to be a murderer and kill us.

No, it wouldn't.

And then the thing is what our baby would have to have sex with kai, and we would have to wait till it's eighteen So then we would have to wait eighteen years.

But what if it was a boy, then our baby would have sex with me. I mean that's literally what happened right like this.

I don't want to be a part of it.

People with blue eyes like incest babies, like they have more incest than them.

Like fucking fifty three percent of the people watching it who have this right now with blue eyes are just staring at the screen. They're being accused of being incest babies.

I don't think that many people have blue eyes, There's no way. I think because I live in LA, my perception of the amount of people.

With blue eyes has gone up. But it's just because that's the scary.

Blue eyed people in the world have a single common ancestor from six thousand to ten thousand years ago.

That's embarrassing. That is so embarrassing.

Yeah, you not your family timeline being a nasty weird You know that's so embarrassing.

Are you embarrassed right now? You freaks?

Given blue eyes is a recessive gene, a single ancestor also requires ancests among hairs and kids, doesn't it. No gene can be passed on for generations without showing.

Fuck wait, but that still means at one point.

At one point, we were all not me. I disappeared. I disappeared here.

Don't fucking claim you know where I'm from, not me. What about hazel eyes? Is it the same thing hazel eyes is when people with brown eyes and blue eyes have sex.

Really, I don't know what to even look at for that.

I don't know that is how that happens.

I want green eyes so bad. Wait, green eyes are literally scary, Like that's actually care.

I mean when I'm literally trying to cant the.

Grass waite, like, there's no way. Green eyes are literally real. Like when I hear green eyes, I'm like thinking of like neon green, Like I don't think I've seen anybody with green eyes, Like I don't think I've ever.

Had bad because it's not like green like grass.

It's like green, like like a hazely like brownish green.

Like it's not like that is green.

Yeah, but it's like a brown, it's like an earth tone green.

Hell, no bitches with green eyes scare the fuck out of me.

I used to want green or hazel eyes so bad. Both of my siblings.

My sister's eyes were the kind of eyes that like look gray in some lights.

I wanted that, which I am so jealous of.

And then my brother's eyes are hazel and I have brown eyes, and I was so jealous. Like growing up, That's like was my biggest insecurity was the fact that I didn't get like cooler color.

Remember when I got lasick and I was like, I'm getting an eye colored transplant, like I want blue eyes, and I like made this entire three minute TikTok of me lying.

And saying I got never posted.

I'm releasing that on Yeah, I.

Think about that all the time.

It was like a funny ass thing to do, because like you literally had like surgery videos of you going.

In for something like my eyes literally being picked at, with.

Like video that you showed me. I think about it like once a week. Yeah. It was so insane. They're like scraping the top of your eye.

They scrape a layer off and then they lasers.

The us before it is just in my room. I was on the floor the other day and I was like, what is this and then I saw it was really Yeah, it's just like on a USB, like sitting in your room because you watch it on my computer.

Oh, because I don't know why. I think you couldn't open it.

On you like the files when it read on my PC. I also have I ask for like anytime they get a procedure done, I asked for like the footage of it, like I got like a full body like either cat scan or MRI. I think it was an MRI, and like I asked for the video of it, and I still have it, Like I love like looking at it and you can see like literally everything you can see like my penis and balls in that. Seriously, it's crazy.

This is I've ever been talking about, like like anatomy like that one time I got the it because I thought about how somebody I liked, like how their inside would.

Smell, and it actually made me want to throw up. Like I was sitting around with them and I.

Was like, you know, like your insides would be like steaming hot and smell so bad.

Yeah, it's like one hundred.

I think about that all the time. If I'm no, no, no, not this white.

Man talking about something he thinks about how the insides.

Of everybody likes to cut me over.

Yeah, you're trying to the fact that there's just like poop like inside of everybody all the time. They all carry around a bag of shit.

Dodo boiling in their guts. Like have you ever laid on someone's lap and heard their doodoo boil? Like like, but yeah, that gave me anytime, Like I call you out on bellies growling like it's the ship settling in your colon.

You.

Oh, I was playing Fortnite and you like literally disrupted me to be like someone's hungry. And I was like what And then you were like your stomach and I was like I didn't fucking hear or feel that.

Yeah, that's my new ship. I just want to make people like notice their bodily functions. It's like, oh, you're like shit's gurgling in there, your belly's bagging for sustenance.

My belly be filled.

Bill me.

But yeah, that gave me the it because I was like, e, what that's so gross? Like if someone like split you open, you would smell so bab Granted, like I will never experience that, but the idea of enough was like.

Very putrid. I did not like thinking about it.

Interesting.

Yeah, in a hypothetical world, I would just kill myself.

I wouldn't stay around.

It's just it's like the idea, like damn you, Like if there was an apocalyptic like scenario, why.

Would you fight to survive?

I like you enjoy that like five episodes ago. But for me, if we're in like the rapture, everybody gets taken and it's like just me kind of like on Earth, I'd give it like a year or two, like I'd float around a year. Yeah, I would experience it. I want to see all the places I want to see, and then I'd kill myself. Like I'd get to see like Yosemite and like, uh, what is it the Angels Landing Hike, which is normally Helipac, Like I'd get to

I would go straight to the grove and just like start breaking the windows on the Apple Store.

Yeah, literally cutting down the trees in the.

Aphisopere like a hammer at the fucking glad.

Yeah, I would do all that stuff that like those like you know those YouTube channels where they like break big objects off a big cliff. Yeah, I would just do like all that type of show, literally through the Apple store.

Let all the like intrusive thoughts win because like like literally who cares the thing is?

People always like claim they would do that, but realistically you wouldn't because even as introverted as you can be, like everybody needs another human.

Earth Kai me and Kai No.

But I'm saying you said if you were the.

Last man on Earth, I meant like with me and Kai oh.

No, But you said going all alone like or I mean, yeah, if you have like one other person, then I could see someone living for a year. But I thought you meant like all alone, like last man on Earth.

I don't think anyone would rive.

I would give it. I would give it a year even even still, I would just try because like who knows, like there might be other fools around, like if the Internet's broken and shit, like how do you no?

Like I think it would make it a year? Two?

Yeah, I think like I genuinely could make it a year.

I don't think so, because men aren't capable of like living alone that long.

The visual of us finding out that the rapture happened, and then within like thirty seconds, me and Drew are fucking.

Watching and hanging yourself their last visual. We're trying to repopulate.

The aliens are like, wait, they could probably do this, like they have everything they need, and then Andy just kills herself and we're fucking.

I literally said, like the other day, I said this dumber shit ever. You were showing me the I said it yesterday, but you didn't comment on it like it was dumb, So maybe it's not the dumbest thing ever. But you were showing me like computer trips and.

Like how like really really deep down into the chip people leave like carvings of like little like things, and someone left like a thing of eggman. And I was like, in a thousand years, like say, like the earth survives that long, and humanity survives that long, we really have no idea of knowing what like language will look like, because even language now versus the way it used to be has changed so dramatically.

And I was like Oh my god.

If somebody like a thousand years in the future was digging through like computer trips trying to like find any like remnant to like what we acted like at this time, and they found a drawing of the Eggman, they would literally just look at it and be like who is this human? Like who is this person?

Who is like we.

Have to figure out who this person was?

And it's like, oh, like within ancient times in twenty twenty two, like this figure was very prominent on multiple things, and there's so.

Many billboards of him.

Yeah, like he was a god.

Like.

I just like the idea of like in a thousand years history being like really misinterpreted, Like.

That's literally all history like straight.

It's just people like assuming they know what was happening.

Like that's we assume we know it. Dinosaurs look like we have no fucking idea what this.

I know what they look like, but I'm never gonna tell people.

But it is like it's like the predictions people made of what they look like are kind of almost there, but there's like a little sweet to make.

Them actually look How do you know what they look like?

I just said I would never tell.

You said you never tell what they look like? How do you know what they look like?

I might I would never tell Entels everything, and I'm not saying it.

I'm so excited for Prehistoric Planet coming out on May twenty third.

What the fuck is that? Why are you giving an ad for a movie?

Like?

What are you talking about?

It's like a dinosaur movie with David Attenborough.

It's like, all, I don't know who that is. You don't know who David ever is. He's like the dude who like voices over all of the like Planet documentaries.

And I'm supposed to know his name.

I feel like a lot of people know I know his voice.

I don't know the names of a lot of like actors, like I like could recognize their face, Like if I'm in public and I see someone, I'm like, oh that's so and so are like just like people in general.

But I'm so shit with names. I like don't remember names. I just don't give a fuck. I really don't care.

Like I can recognize a good actor, but I don't give a shit.

I'm just excited to see Dinosaurs and I'm excited to see Avatar too. Did you see the trailer for that?

Yes, it looks fucking lit. It made me like literally emotional, like I teared up. I was like, oh my god, it's finally fucking happening. Like I think it's gonna flop. Though you think so, I'm predicting to flop. I don't think it's gonna make nearly as much as it did the first time. I don't think it's gonna flop. I think they're gonna make their money back, but I don't think it's gonna be like the cultural phenomenon that the first one was.

This place.

This is not very connected to it, but it fully is this place right off of Melrose. I don't know what the shop is, but they have a huge, life

Yeah, but do you see frontal?

I wish they had a napkin over it. They had this little like thinking over Yeah you so you can see bolls. I want to see. It's bold so bad.

I hope they like they don't have few. I want them to update how they have sex in the in the sequel. I want them to just fuck normal style human.

Yeah, yeah, that would be pretty.

They've adapted.

I haven't they connected their tails before.

I haven't seen the trailer. I don't watch trailers to movies. I really don't like watching trailers to movies.

I like just going in having absolutely no idea what's going to happen, and just like looking at the cover hearing about it.

Like I'm the same way. But this was like one of those exceptions.

Yeah, it's like an anticipation.

I was like Holy Ship like that. Like The Joker. I like had to watch the trailer to that because I was like, I'm a white man living in America, Like of course he hadn't watched I did watch for us. Yeah that movie was for the white man.

Oh that was made for you?

The Anthem, Yeah exactly.

Spencer is my joker, Like Spencer, that's my joker.

I always forget her name? What is her name? Christian Stewart, Yes, she's giving. I always thought she was the actress in Sticket, but I don't know she They the exact same, but she gives and stick it too.

I need both of them to take care of.

Me, like hold me and I can take care of you.

No, I want them to take care of me.

And let me take care of you in that way.

I'm not gonna say what I'm thinking.

I know what you're thinking, and I know what you're thinking, and let me do it. Let me do it, no, bitch.

Also like no, because there has to be a certain amount of taking care that I don't think you.

Can actually like do. And I love you.

Stimulate the cltoral head, Yeah, I just you know, like like cloth hangers, you gotta like peel it back and then like clip it to like the pubist to like hold up the mind's.

Pubist and Drew Ben meeting up and then memorizing. Yeah, the vagina.

Yeah, we've been studying the anatomy just to like we have flash cards in case.

I had absolutely no real life experience with like another human.

I've had a bunch experience with another human, definitely.

What's up? Oh God, you're like kind of thumbing up?

Yeah?

Is that like con sinuation?

Like six of them in my bed?

Go?

Now, what what the fuck do you want from us? I'm serious, Like what else do you want me to say? What am I supposed to say? Here? Blah blah blah blah blah? Do do do? Do do? Suck my ass?

There's something in the air because I'm also like, like two nights ago, I felt like a wave of like like it felt like depression hitting the back of my head, and I was like no, and I just like ignored it, and I came home and.

I went to sleep, and I just like didn't think about it. And then I think yesterday it was kind of starting to show because I like kind of just like had no want to do anything, Like I just like came home and like played Fortnite for five hours. And I think it's been even showing with how much I played Fortnite, Like I wasn't like me and Ky were talking about it before the episode started.

I wasn't thinking anything of it.

The fact that I've been so invested in a video game like never before, Like I haven't done this since I was in like middle school. But genuinely, all I do is like block out my brain and just like pay attention to the screen for like six hours. And then I've been watching shows, which is something I also don't do.

That's my escape is shows and video games, like and I've just been escaping from reality.

Yeah, and then this morning I woke up and I didn't feel very good but not like bad, but like not good. It's like that weird in between of like literally like my brain is like fully like numb, Like.

There's like not a single. There's like not a single, Like I don't know.

That's so interesting because I I just got super depressed again like four days ago, and I feel like a bunch of my friends did too.

And it's lunar eclipse. Bro oh really yeah, the gravitational everybody's exactly, it's the lunar eclipse. Brouh.

You said it so much.

That's actually funny that like y'all are depressed because I'm actually really fucking happy. Now. Remember when y'all made fun of me for being depressed. Well, now I'm the fucking happy one.

No, you're sad right now too.

No, I'm actually I'm never genuinely I'm not joking. Today I woke up and I was the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I don't get depressed.

You were the happiest.

I think you're doing the gag we did to you when you were trying to say you were depressed.

I think you need a gag.

Oh, I love to do that, so I will thank you.

Gargle these balls.

Chill. Don't talk to me like that if you need it, though, I'm here, really, yeah, I'm here for you.

I am really sad and I need it.

I always wonder though, because like when I'm sad, I'll be like, oh, everyone else must feel this way. But then sometimes it does seem like everybody does get sad at the same time. And I'm always like.

It's the day hive. Ye, it's the like where the Hive mine be Beyonce.

Yeah, ca, I finish your thoughts.

I'm always like, it would be cool if there was an app that everybody was like, just rate your mood on from like one to ten, and then you could see like how everybody feels like.

Yeah, TikTok, Twitter and TikTok, but no, I know what you're saying to get like an overall mood of the suite, Like if I is there some fucking cunt bitches out there who wake up every single day feeling the exact same, which is.

Like fully population.

So you would see that it's like an average. I feel like of a seven eight, like because most of the major like.

I feel like most people are depressed as shit.

I think we just live in a fucking bubble. Yeah, everyone around us is depressed as shit because we're all like fucking creatives and literally don't have fucking schedules, and every one of our friends is doing nothing all the time except for like doing nothing. So we live in this like little echo chamber of depression and we all ask each other like, yeah, I'm depressed too, I'm sad too, but like the normal person is not depressed.

Yeah, because like even like the people watching this, I feel like hed agree to what we're saying. But even that, like as big of a community as it seems like, it's such a small scale.

I mean think about this.

Like, yeah, most people are depressed.

Yeah, most people who watch this aren't. Like, Oh, I fucking love shopping at Paksan that is my store, Like yeah, that's like you can get things that like most people would like at paksn or like Forever twenty one, like think about these conglomerate brains that are bigger than you could ever imagine, Like the people who regularly shop there,

To you, like depression erasure. It's like by erasure, but we're like era.

But also with that being said, there's a lot of people who don't recognize it as being depressed.

Like I feel like a lot of people in my family like very obviously have like.

Whether it is like clinically or they have like what it's like clinically, and then it's like it's based on events, Like there's like another term for it that's like not necessarily depression, but it's like circumstance, Yeah, like circumstantial, like

People I don't even recognize, don't recognize bitches lie Yeah.

Like people are liars through and through, and they'll lie about how. That would also.

Require that people are like emotionally in touch with like how they're actually feeling.

Yeah, because I'm just fifty million Americans are not alive. Like I truly believe that, I genuinely with my chest believe that, like there's no way every person on this planet is actually sentient. But that's another conversation.

I believe that they are all sentient. And that's what scares me the most is that like being.

In public, like every time I see it, like I'm in a group of people, I just look at everyone's face and I'm like, dude, all these people have like felt some sort of emotion that I have felt, and like have at least one idea that we fully connect on. And that scares the fuck out of me, like the fact that like, damn, I really am just another fucking bitch on this planet. I really am just another.

Goddamn fuck head who's like existing well, which is like.

You know, but it's scary is that everyone died this morning, so like we're the last three people are like I'm not that, but no birds, there's no like where's a zool I haven't seen a zool today? Like it's literally using We're going to release this episode and it's going to get like maybe three views and three.

Checking on it to like get the link to share it, Like that's what the view is. Also, let me rephrase like I'm not saying there's anything wrong with liking close from Pakistan, And for one, I just want to clarify that.

I just fast fashion, fast fashion. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, fast fashion.

There's literally nothing wrong with shopping. There's nothing wrong with shopping there.

I'm not trying to be big headed, but I think like if you're like if you were.

Listening to what I'm saying, you kind of get what I'm saying. It's just like it's easy as an individual who doesn't partake in that to be like literally who was wearing that. But there's so many people who do partake in that, and that's kind of like the idea like of depression. It's like who else is feeling? Like it's easy you to feel like no one else is feeling Yeah.

We should all just be depressed together. That's what Judaism is. So it's not like, Okay.

It's not like something to look too for faith.

It's like, I know, I convert people when they're at their lowest moments, like when they're at their lowest, most vulnerable moments, I like swoop in and I convert them to Judaism.

Due that's a cult. That's like really bad.

I don't give a fuck running a cult. Do something about it. There's two hundred thousand of us, Like, what are you gonna do?

Are you claiming that every single person who watches the episode is a part of it.

Just looks at the amount of subscribers for the podcast and that's the number.

Then we're almost bigger than Mormonism.

We are Mormonism?

We are is that is that some dude found like a gold book under the ground and then like it's like talks about like people living in a volcano and shit.

They okay, googled. I googled how many Mormons there are and they have an exact number.

This is true.

Sixteen million, six hundred and sixty three thousand, six hundred and sixty three.

That's funny because there's sixteen million, six hundred and sixty three thousand and four Drewthers and we just hit five.

Oh my god. Getting encounter and it goes off.

Every few seconds is like yeah, literally.

Anybody would have to go down every few seconds too to like be like real because some people have to tap out.

No, did we talk to.

You this on the Patreon or on the on YouTube? People were asking what you thought about the Drew Barrymore thing.

We talked about it on the public eppisode.

Yeah, oh really yeah okay yeah. People were wondering if like you would beef with her.

No, no, there's no beef.

She's that's our girl, that's our girl. But it's the beef within the producer.

Yeah, it's the beef with the rioters and the producer.

Yeah, it's like Doe, do your dude do your Drew diligence? Yes, your Drew in the.

Drew do your Drew diligence?

I think I'm just gonna be like a detective when this all blows over.

That's when the rapture happens to like figure.

An internet sleuth. And why they chose us to be the last three?

Oh my god, you know.

What we need to talk about That awful fucking comedy show with the Renaissance Festival.

Go greened me the fuck.

I thought you had some funny jokes and that the audience was just kind of not into it.

So he had funny jokes at the end when he was like being a little passive aggressive and making kind of gnarlier jokes to like really ramp it up to get like shock value. But like, dude, when we got there, it was like it was fucking me up. Like I felt like there were there had to have been cameras around somewhere, Like it literally like made me feel brain dead, Like I literally like I couldn't gather.

Like so he exhausted, exhausted. We don't didn't have any water in us.

Like yeah, I also had, Yeah, I had like, oh like a bottle of water, like crumbs of everyone's food and then like two SIPs of white wine.

Was ninety seven degrees and I ate hot fries. I mean I ate hot fries with nacho cheese on top, So cheese fries.

It was really nasty.

Yeah, it was really really awful. I kind of ate it because it's like, I need diarrhea right now. I'm constipated again.

You need a diarrhea at the Renaissance under ninety seven degree weather and a hot port potty.

Yeah. I love the smell of fucking boiling ship in the whole port of body. I love.

I can't believe anybody used a porta potty that day because that's all I could think about is I was like, eight is so hot.

Oh, oh my god.

I I've been like Loki oding on magnesium trying to get this turned out.

And hasn't come out.

You need to go get a colonosp It was. I literally like pump water in you and like paiconic. Oh yeah, that's what you need.

I need a colonoscopy, and they need to go.

Do you need to be emptied so bad?

They need to empty me. I need a callin.

That's so fun.

But your remember not the other one.

No, no, that's not not again.

Not falling for this again for me once, Shame on me, for me twice, shame on you, wait for me one, shame on you for me twice, shame.

On me for me three times. I'm gonna have to kill you.

Fuck the blame, isn't that the song fool Me three times? Oh? Fuck the piece and let it rain on you.

Yeah, pull the chopper, let it rain on you.

Oh.

We finished Candy, Yeah, we finished Candy and I really liked it.

But then we started The Staircase and I really thought about it. I was like, Damn, Candy, that show was really fucking bad.

It sucks, like it's not a bad show, but it's like not nearly as good. And my one gripe walking away from Candy.

If you did watch it, it's like, and if you didn't watch it, whatever, fuck you, fuck you. It's based in like what the twenties like, No, the sixties. Okay, I could not fucking grasp because the costume design was so fucking bad. The costume I don't know, No I was thinking about I was thinking of Marvelous Missus Maizel's like outfits, and then thinking about the outfits that some

Too new fast fashioning. Does that make sense?

Like I feel like the quality of clothing, even on camera for like the eighties, is really different than quality on camera for clothing now. And all of the clothing I felt like they had just perched just from.

A store that was like drop chick for costume design, I'd be shocked. Also, you can't just throw on big funny glasses on people and be like that's the time frame.

Well, no, that's what the girl irl.

Oh no, not candy, Like her glasses were fitting, but like there was almost too many people with those exact like style of glasses. And I'm sure all those people in real life war glasses, but all of them.

Like, I don't know what. Something about it felt like I was watching people like costplaying.

Like that's literally what it was.

No, But it's different because now we're watching Staircase and it's based in like a lot of the footage is like they're showing like old footage from like the nineties, and like it's all based in two thousand and one, and I don't for a second question that that's when it was happening. Like not for a second, am I like, Oh, this feels like has.

A better grasp on the nineties, you were born closer to it.

No, the costume designing can be sucked. It bothered me so much, the set design and costume design also because.

Said design was literally like mid century modern furniture from like ike, Yeah.

It like all looked so like the newer renditions of what those things looked like, which I'm sure obviously like what they're not going to source like real like nice

You don't feel that way about Marvelous Mazel.

No.

I think Marvelous Missus Mazel has like a little bit of like campiness to it because it's like a comedy. Yeah that I don't even really question a lot of the stuff happening, and like the homes they live in feel like they're so obviously like older homes, like that's what they like look like, whether it be like the framing, like the crowning, the structure.

Of all the homes. And I think it gets a pass because of like it's a bit camp because it's.

Like an old it's like a caricature.

Yeah, it's like a caricature almost of what that time was. And a lot of like the moral ground play is like still very real, but it's very like super colorful and like loud because and then when it's like sad.

It's really liked all like color until like the forties. So it's weird that they had that.

Like no truth. You just like a lot of like photo and video didn't have color, but like that they there was color.

No, how is that even possible? You think, like how did how would cameras recording black and white? Wait?

I'm sorry? Are you?

Are you saying that you thought not only objects but people were black and white and gray.

In the twenties?

Yes, yes, that didn't write.

I think fun my ear keeps the falling off Ian remember when he was like, guys, they turned off the color in whte.

He just had a black and white fother on that was like literally the funniest video, like one of the funniest.

It was during at the beginning of COVID. He was like, holy shits, things are already happening in my town. They took away the color.

Well, yeah they can do that.

Yeah, if you're being a bad boy, they turned off they turn.

Off the saturation, be very like cautious.

It just sounds like you kind of still believe it. So I'm just gonna like move on. But yeah, I didn't like it. I did not like it one bit. Staircase is so good. It's actually really gnarley. Have you been watching it?

No. I started watching Candy because you guys were talking about it, but I wasn't super into it.

But Staircase is the staircase. Staircase. The fourth episode of Staircase is probably one of the best episodes of television I've ever seen.

See. That's how I know I'm not in a good place mentally, because the fact that I watched Candy and I was like, this is so fucking good. This is amazing.

Every shot. I'm not joking. I've said this once, I'll say it again. Every show or movie that I watched and certainly becomes my favorite show.

I know watch Drew like, literally, okay, you did it. I don't think you caught yourself. But who were we talking to about it? You said to someone you were like, the third episode of Staircase is the best, is top easily top three, the best TV episode I've ever seen.

And then the fourth episode. You said that about the fourth episode, four episode, okay, because you kept saying three, and then you were like, the fourth episode.

He's gonna say this for every episode that it's like the best episode, and.

I meant the fourth when I was saying that, do.

You think it's better than any breaking.

Bad A few breaking bad episodes? Yeah?

I need to have sex with Walter White. I need to, but not the actor like Walter.

Wy Yeah, like Hasenberg.

Yes, would you would break pre or post Heisenberg transformation?

Oh?

Some of post?

Yeah. He was like sad. I'm like, oh, I'm so sad. I'm sad. Like I need a boss babe. I need a boss babe, and mister White is a boss babe. Yeah, yeah, I need him. I need him really bad.

My anxiety toe is back.

Your anxiety toe, Oh, picking your toe.

It's back in a very scary way.

Is it nasty?

Is it like if you've gotten a pool right now and then got out after like an hour, it would look like disgusting. That's like the worst part of being a nail bider is like being at the.

Pool with your friends because it shows. It shows, it's so nasty.

It shows what else y'all want us to talk about?

Huh.

Oh wait, I can't say that it is actually a good idea.

I like to bleach my eyebras, but I don't know if I'm going to bleach my eyebrows again or keep them the way they are. I don't know, Guys, calming down below for me. Guys, let me know what I should do. I just keep every time I bleach my eyebross, I burn the fuck out of my skin. Also, I think I have skin cancer.

Huh, join the party.

I go to the dermatologists tomorrow morning, so I'm gonna have her look at it, even though I don't think that's like I'm going to hurt for my acne.

There's no way she's gonna know you're going tomorrow morning.

Yeah, at eleven. That's why I said one, okay, and I oh my fucking nails.

You just ripped that shit off. Holy shit, that.

Hurts so bad, but like also felt kind of nice.

But I have like a freckle that is not the color of a freckle, and it's not a freckle.

It's just a gray dot that appeared on my arm. And I look at my arms a lot because I admire my freckles a lot, and also I put lotion on my arms every single night and day. So this is brand new and I've never seen it.

I'm just gonna assume I got stabbed with the pencil when I was little.

On it's like lead.

Yeah, I stabbed you with a mechanical pencil in your sleep.

Why would you do that? You don't have a mechanical pencil.

Yeah, I do. I have a bunch, and I do it to everybody. I mark them like I mark my people. I'm territorial.

Oh okaye, I was gonna say in a territorial.

Way or like, no, in a territorial way.

All right, Well, my media is the staircase.

Please stole that from me. It was my media.

It was your media last week. Yeah, you talked about it last week because you had started it last week. Oh my god, I dropped my nail my media the week. Also, we both, that's all we've been watching. My media of the week is then say the other things you've been watching. My media of the week is The Staircase.

And I will say if I love like true crime things, but this show is pretty gnarly, so please watch at your.

Own what's it called discretion? Yeah, viewer discretion is heavily advised.

The last episode, like the fourth episode, actually fucked me up in like a gnarly way that I've never experienced from I've only experienced like maybe twice in my life from movies, and I don't like It's It's not something I would ever watch again. This is not a show I would ever rewatch because it's really fucking gnarly. But yeah, the fourth episode is really hard to watch, so keep that in mind.

But it's a really good show. And that fucking actress from Hereditary, that motherfucker in her past life she did something I don't know what she did.

Yeah, she is like way too good at playing like the way she plays like it's I don't like it.

It's scary. And then do you want to do your visual media?

No, I'll do do it all at once.

Okay, then my audio media, honestly I don't even know what I've been listening to.

Oh yeah, I do, I do. It's a rap by Mariah Carry. It's all songs that I've said before.

But I'm like starting a new playlist of all the songs that make me happy because I need something to make me scream and like shout and like have fun drama. Bye Roy Woods and Drake What a fucking classic?

Yeah yeah, no to pretend I couldn't.

Tell if you were singing it or like just saying yeah like that Unhappy by Outcast my Baby Jana Jackson and shown by Ball Grease Grease.

Well.

I've been on like a really weird vibe music wise recently, and I've been listening to like all of Aphex Twins, like really weird fucking songs like Milkman and Beatles. Uh. Those two are like hitting for me right now. Milkman, Beatles in the Carpet. Yeah. And then since we're on Afex Twin, listen to Select the Ambient Works Volume two. It's really I think it's probably like one of the best, if not the best no ambient album of all time. Oh wow, I think it's like that And fuck, what's

Yeah, I was gonna say, I love the My favorite ambient albums are literally Ambient one and two by Brian Eno.

Yeah, Ambient one music for Airports. It's like the other, like really really great ambient album. And then my visual

I curse so much when I played Fortnite.

You get mean. I heard something last night. I was like, whoa, you know what it is.

I hate when people tell me what to do when I'm already fucking doing it. And that happens when I'm playing Fortnite all the time, because you can't see what someone's doing, and when you're playing in like a trio or a squad or.

I'm like help me, help me, help me, and no one's helping me, and but like it's.

Like not even that like that, I get it.

But when I'm like already doing something, or someone's like don't go too far, and I'm like, bitch, I'm literally like around the.

Plot from you, like, yeah, that's our trios go to.

It's like together, stay together, yeah, and I'm like I'm literally here.

And also it pisses me off because everyone always leaves me, like and I'm the one who's like chasing after everybody because nobody says like where are going, like when you're playing.

When I when we're playing, I'm mark where I'm going. I'm like, we're going here, and I mark it with the big spire every time I do that too.

I'm always like I'm gonna go here. And then bitches still want to be like don't go for and I'm like, I just told you where I was going because I need to get a gun, and it pisses me off that I can't.

I can't keep playing Fortnite, but I am going to play immediately when this camera turns off, Like I'm literally like I'm like itching for it.

I need it. You'll need to stop commenting about me in Fortnite on TikTok because there was a TikTok that was on my timeline that I was like, I've been away from my my PS four or something for like three hours now and I still want to play.

And I'm shaking because I haven't played Fortnite in three ds.

Tom comments were like, Enya, Enya, and.

Drew, it's real. It is so real. People see that and they're like, who the fuck is in?

I know, I know what pisseses off because those losers.

Good, you're mad. You're mad.

Not you being mad, oh, not you being mad over a name.

Literally you're mad. That's literally. I'm just gonna say, suck my balls and you're mad now, and like I.

Suck my balls. I literally am always like, suck my big fucking balls.

Ye bitch, you're mad, you're mad?

All right?

Well, well that's our media. That's the episode. I hope you enjoyed it. If you're still alive, please leave a comment, because I don't know if anybody's alive. I don't think there's literally like I don't think so.

I literally think I'm about to go log onto Fortnite, and it's going to say that's going to take like an unannounced time to match make because there's no other human on earth literally, all right, my

Catful