The Perks of Being Drew Phillips

Well, we'll come back to whoa I mate, I got.

The emergency intercom Drew's eighteenth birthday extravaganza.

How are you feeling now that you're eighteen?

Forever seventeen? Baby? I started an only fans.

That's like, I mean, you can do whatever you want, but you should maybe take.

Some more time to think about that.

Absolutely not. I'm already making fifty grand a month.

But nothing's changed about your brain chemistry from yesterday to today. So maybe you let yourself develop a little more mentally and then you can decide if that's something you want.

That sounds like you're broke and jealous of my fifty grand a month for the rest of it.

Okay, fifty grand a month on OnlyFans on Hello? Have you heard what the other girls make? Like you're fucking behind?

Like actually, let me check it right now. Oh, that's to three hundred thousand.

I didn't even open an a picked up your phone.

That's crazy. I almost made a million in a day too, off of tips and shit.

So wait, but then, how did you get three hundred thousand a month? That's like not close to a million.

It's subscribers, so that's but I'll probably make closer to two million a month just based off of like sending people but whole picks privately because it's all bikini photos. Okay up front, Yeah, just neither clear.

That in a bikini orre you in like a speedo bikini? Okay, what are you covered?

Because it's really sad that women can't show their nipples. So I'm taking.

A stand patriotic and feminist bound.

Yeah, I'm taking a stance and covering myself as like, you know what I'm saying. You get what, you get what I'm saying.

Yeah, I'm trying to understand.

I cover my body because the woe and can't free theirs. I'm a big proponent for the nipple. We know this.

We know this. I talk about it all the time.

Right, But yeah, it was my eighteenth birthday or what. I literally A'm gonna actually forget how old I am and just start okay whatever. It was my birthday yesterday, and I did not want to do absolutely fucking anything because growing older is horrifying and scary, and I don't think we should celebrate getting one year closer to death. Okay, we celebrate like nothing. No one needs a birthday. It's all phony.

Yeah, I guess it is like kind of capitalistic when you think about it. It's so that restaurants can get a ten person table and then everybody can argue over who's going to take the Yeah, did you see that whole conversation online people were saying, which I kind of agree with. People were saying that if say, it's my birthday and I invited all of you guys to a really expensive.

Restaurant, you should cover covering.

Because I'm choosing like this expensive restaurant, so to assume all my friends can cover their tab would be kind of ridiculous. I agree with that up until you have a homegirl who's like getting fucked up, like don't come to my birthday dinner and get like eighteen Margarita's and a fucking espresso martini to top it off me and then be like literally a homegirl in Carson and then I have to pay for it.

But I feel like we've always done that because we're just like good people. We will like cover.

Because we're just like we're good and we're like so giving and nice and people don't talk about that, and we always write our usernames on the receipt after giving a half to you should post.

Yeah, post us and tag us. But yeah, it was my birthday yesterday and I was left here alone. All of my friends left me. You know what I got for my birthday? Do you want to know what I got? I got a eight dollar Fortnite card, not even enough to cover our fucking skin. But they covered it by getting me a twenty five dollars Wing Stuff card.

You get to eat good tonight.

Yeah, so wingstop on me. It's literally just gonna cover my meal. But yeah, that was the only gift I got. And I was so excited because I was like, oh, and you're such a good gift giver. I know she's gonna get me something so good. Right, she didn't get me shit.

You may find that one every day waking up is hard. A gift is the last thing on my mind. But I gave you the gift of my presence.

Yeah, that's true, that's true. We did have a really, really great day yesterday. But no, I'm just kidding. She did.

I treated my man to a gorgeous day full of candy.

And I know she took me to a tie market and we got a bunch of thaie little treats. And candies.

It's on me.

Yeah, it was on it. It was all on in you and then and you had the great idea. Okay, so I have been obsessed with this specific food item for months now, haven't done anything about it, and you had the idea to make it. Guys, guess what we went and made gourmet for dinner last night. Jacket potatoes with tuna salad on top. You got a picture of it. Oh yeah, well inserted. It is a baked potato with a crispy skin, three pounds of butter, orange and white cheese.

That was so good.

And then you put British baked beans on top of that, and then on top of that you put tuna salad. And I know, y'all it sounds horrifying, but in you can vouch for me it.

Was so it looks good.

It was.

It was really yummy like I was expecting when we Okay, so we like had a whole day.

We went to the time market. Then I'm the kind of girl hole I need my coffee.

So we stopped for me to get a coffee, and I got like a little hand roll next door so I could like have something to eat because it was like five pm and I had to eat in and I was like, the last thing I need to do is wait till eight pm, and the first thing that goes in my body is a jack of potato because it's gonna make you throw up, Jackie. So I already like had a little food, but I wasn't fully full when we were at the grocery store getting all the ingredients.

Gagging, like fully shuddered body could stop my body. You took a fucking screenshot.

Yeah, Like I was staring at his phone and thinking about what I was about to do to my body. And I couldn't fucking believe it because I pride myself so much and being like a relatively like good consumer of like I eat good food. I eat delicious yumbie food. And that sounds like a hydrogen bomb and a plate.

And it did smell whatever, Oh, it smell like.

Tonsilstone, like we okay, So I've been doing this thing. I've been recording a bunch of videos. They may never see the light of day, but it's me eating my bedtime double meals and I eat it in my bed every night, and it's like this little series that I'm working on, and we ate it in my room. And we left to like take out the garbage and wash the dishes and shit. And when I came back into my room, y'all, like this stench stuff odor, like it was really really it was.

Like heavy in there. Yeah, so weird.

It stained my bed like not like physically stained it, like the scent stained my comforter, like, oh, like absolutely not. But it was so fucking good, y'all.

Yeah, it was delicious. I will say each of us only had half the potato. So if at home you're thinking of making a jack of potato, one potato does serve too, because you'd be shocked how full of beans and.

Tuna you get beans, tuna, potato and cheese.

You get butter.

Butter.

It's a lot of fucking butter. And we got a nice ass butter, which was cracking us up because we asked Sydney Carlson, like, if you don't know she's like, sexy, hot girl makes amazing food and she always does these like very cute videos, and I want so badly to convince her to do a video of her making a jacket potato like her just serving cunt and like her little like and then the ingredients list goes up and it's a potato, tuna, salad, baked beans, cheese, like I

Like something a British person. Yeah, at first, all she that was, oh my god, that.

Is all she said. I don't think she ever responded back to your text.

Oh yeah, she no, because she had mentioned she was like, I'm obsessed with this British girl on TikTok and it looks like something she would fucking eat. And we were like, it literally is a British person food, Like this is British people food, and she never responded.

Y'ah, something really bad happened to me, like actually actually really bad. Like okay, we like.

Insert the audio that we recorded the other night.

Yeah yeah, yeah, But anyways, I got I've had like ear pain and like my ear has been clogging for like a year and a half now, and I literally just like thought it was benign and I was just like, whatever, it is not that deep. I've probably complained about it on here a couple of times, but I was like, it's literally not that deep, like it's not like altering my life. But then like I started like falling asleep at night and like my ear would like hurt really

Me when you can google your name and like that's the first thing that pops up.

It's a lie, though, it's a lie. Yeah, you're in your aluxadmi.

Bag exactly exactly. But I went and I was not thinking anything of it. Like I went to the office for the ear nose and throat throat, go doctor, they have sex with you there. It's really fucked up.

How fast can you get an appointment?

You can book on ZocDoc almost immediately, but no, I literally booked it that night and then I woke up the next day and went. It was like the tea. But I went there and the doctor's office was like young and hip, and they were a vibe and they were all like talking to me like how I speak, and it was just like it was a fucking vibe in there, like it was it was a key. And then like my gay ass doctor, my gay ass like nurse assistant or whatever came out and he was super

That's like remember recently when I was saying how it freaks me out now that all the doctors and nurses are our age. Yeah, and that just freaks me out because I'm like, you're literally a peer who I'm supposed to meet at a bar. Now I'm laying you poke my fucking stomach, like I'm literally terrified.

The scary as fuck. So he and I know you cheated, and I know, yeah, I know, y'all bitches were using fucking Google And what was the notes app or the notes cards, good notes, good reads, some shows. Yeah, it's not that they were using GBT no, no, no, there's those it's like flash cards that like have the answer to every single test question.

Is it like virtual?

Yeah, it's on Google, but whatever.

So I never cheated, so I wouldn't know.

Yeah, but in reality, I actually never have studied once in my life. And I thought about the other day and I don't even know how I would begin to study. And I don't understand studying and it doesn't make sense to me.

But keep going. But my gay doctor, we're just like having a vibe. And then he sits me down in this fucking chair that literally looks like it's gonna like kill me. It's gonna like squish me and use all my juices. I don't fucking know. And he's like, oh, we're just gonna do a CT scan of your head. And I'm like, okay, like you're gay, Like can you do that? Like I don't know if you're allowed to

Bitch.

I don't suck dick. I don't suck dick. Like sap there you're going there. But I like, this like long rod is like all the way in my fucking brain and it hurts so bad, y'all, like, and there's little pinchers on the end, and she's like pinching around in there,

Sounds trying to hit the reset button.

Literally that's literally what it felt like, the sounds it was making inside of my head. Like I've never experienced anything like it in my life. And at one point I literally started laughing out loud because it was like it was funny sounds, and she was like, why are you laughing? And and she was like are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm fine. But she was like not fucking with my vibe after that because I told her she was hurting me and she got pissed at me.

There's just dirty booth.

No no, no, no, no no no. It was because of my sinuses that it was like draining into my ear and it was like blood in earwax, and it was so fucking painful coming out, like and then when I saw it, I was like, oh my god, I was like photo, No, I didn't.

I asked her.

I asked her to take photos and she was like, no, we don't let we don't let you do that in here. And I was like, your technicians just let me take a picture of my CT scan. So like I'm confused because you.

Were king with them and she doesn't.

I know, she did not fuck with my energy. But anyways, she pulled that shit out of my ear. I swear to god, I thought she damaged my ear drum because like you know when they say like smelling colors, like I was hearing frequencies out of this ear that I've never heard in my life, and I was so sensitive, and like I really thought she punctured my ear drum. Dude, it this ear now feels like dirty, like it feels gross. And she looked at it and she was like, it's

You have to get surgery. Actually, yeah, fuck.

They go up in my nose and inflate balloons in all of my air passageway and like break the cartilage. Because that's why it's like fucked up, is because like I have like really really tiny my my sinuses are so petite and small. I'm so tiny, but my air passageways are really small, so they have to go in and like inflate them with the balloon and break the cartilage. And I'm gonna be like bleeding out of my nose

See.

My problem growing up so removed from healthcare and doctor visits is that I don't believe that. In my head, I'm like, do an Nettie pot, You'll be fine. Keep it pushing, like I just can't comprehend actually getting a surgery.

That it's a medical necessity. But I'd be fine, Like I have like bacteria and shit in my sinuses, and I'm sure I could drain it out somehow and not have to like literally have like a little procedure done. But the problem is is it would just be persistent because my airways are so small, and so it would just happen again after I got sick.

Do you think it's just gonna happen again? Oh no, because they're gonna like bust your walls over.

Yeah. Yeah, that's the surgery is balloons.

In my brain, I would have assumed you've already had your walls buses.

Oh a hundred times over, bait a hundred times over.

That's a good leeway into Well, we have to play the audio clip because I was talking to Drew about the surgery. Also, it doesn't help that Drew, like everybody knows how I feel about Drew and his sicknesses and talking about being sick.

I literally can't take it serious. I had a meter when we first met that I was like, oh my god, is he okay? Now? When he talked about having any illness.

I literally feel like I'm battling like my real life legion, like my pathological liar.

I just can't tell.

And I should put a tracker on your car so when you say you go to the doctor, I can see if you're actually going to the doctor.

I have all of the notes, all of that.

I believe that you're getting surgery, but I just can't take it serious because also you like you love it so.

Much, Oh bitcha, I love it so much. Like when I was pissed for like a few days because I was like, of course, the one time that I get surgery, like I'm gonna have to pay for it out of pocket and my insurance isn't gonna cover it because I don't have fucking insurance. But I'm back to being excited because I found out that I'm covered to the end of the month. So we're gonna squeeze me in and

Vibe it with jo sighed, did we get it in that audio message in the audio recording we got the other night. What when you were like, yeah, who's gonna pick me up and drop me off?

I was like, nose ghosts, nos ghosts, nose ghosts.

And Josie said he'd do it, but I'll probably do it because it only makes sense.

My mom was like, I'll fly out there. And then she called me the next day and was like, actually, like thinking about driving, like, o't uber you to the place back and forth, but I'm not driving in La drive here.

Yeah, I'll drive you and then you'll be so high that I'm gona whoop the piss out of the car and you're gonna be like.

Shaking, the balloons are gonna fly out of my mind.

I'm gonna like.

They don't stay in your nose, right, yeah, they like just in the ciner really yeah?

Yeah?

They Actually I don't know because they were like, you have like a postop in like four weeks, so maybe they go up in there and take amount or some shit, like I don't fucking know.

That is so disgusting.

Well, if you can't do the podcast, I gotta find someone to fucking replace it.

No, I'll be able to do the podcast. I'm only like down for three days and then I'm gonna be bleeding for like a week, So I'm gonna have bloody nose on the podcast and everybody's be like, oh my god, Drew, you okay, Like, well that's gross.

And when I take you to the surgery, I'm not gonna come directly home. I'm gonna run all my errands and leave you in the bar perked out.

Wait, they did surgery on and Drew. You Kai, they did surgery on and Drew.

Should we talk about the like my scary thought process? When we were watching Roupaul the other night, Yeah, I got home from hanging out with friends and Drew and Josie were like six episodes into RuPaul and they were trying to catch me up. But I got really high, really fast, and I kind of mentioned it to them. But I don't like being like, guys, I'm about to be really high, Like, please be careful because they will not be careful.

They will try to share me further.

And we were sitting there watching it, We're all joking about like certain things, but then in my head, I don't know what it was. Oh, Josie made a joke it because I like had said something I was like okay to something someone did, like I didn't think it was good on the show, and Josie made the joking.

He was like, see, that's why we waited.

For you to leave the house to watch this, because then we could be safe watching it without you, Like we have a.

Safe space without you. And then I was so high. I got so deep into my sycing.

I was like, oh my god, what if my friends actually genuinely believe I'm homophobic? And like there's this like ongoing conversation behind my back that I'm homophobic. And I got so scared and then I don't know, if you know if I was like dead silent for like, yeah, five minutes until y'all started joking it because I was like, oh my god, maybe I am like disrupting their peace, Like I am literally a problem, Like.

I mean, it wouldn't be a problem for me, like personally, like you can be whatever, like you can be homophobic, Like it doesn't bother me, It doesn't.

Why wouldn't that bother you? Like I feel like that would bother anybody, like not me.

I'm so fucking we not.

Oh, is it because you're straight? So you don't care. Yeah, I think even if you're straight though, that's.

Kind of the Rainbow Mafia.

But yeah, it was really funny, and then they were showing me it was actually greening me out, Like I love that show, but every time we all have the same feeling when they do the musicals and stuff, it really freaks me out because I'm just like, oh my god, it is someone's full time job to make a rusical, Like they are on salary to make and produce the rusicals that RuPaul does. And they did like an SNL skit and there was this one girl who I don't know her name.

She was freaking me out, like what is her name?

I don't know.

They insert the clip that we were like laughing so hard at it'll be like never is.

Okay, girl? Now is it the It's not the one of her riding the house in the water, it's the one of her in the office, Like yeah, yeah, there's It was making me so Lindsey Graham. She did Lindsey Graham. She couldn't know who Lindsey Graham was, so she just like did this whole fucking bit that she.

Like interpretated it as like she read it.

Yeah, and it makes me so sad because I really feel like, to be good at drag Race, you have to be everything. You have to be funny, you have to be crafty, you have to be witty, you have to be quick, you have to be like super like ready to like snap back at somebody. You just have to be so well rounded in every course, and some people just.

Don't don't have it that march and like, and which is.

Understandable because it's asking a law of a fucking.

Entertainer, Like I couldn't be able to do it. I would No, you wouldn't be You wouldn't you would start fighting. Yeah, that's what I was saying, Like if Josiah started doing drag five years ago, he would be an all star on Drag Race already, like he really is, Like it's so good at that type of shit, Like uh, but.

Yeah, that was my story is like got really scared and then I told you the next day and he just laughed at me, and he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I was like no, I literally was so scared for like five minutes, Like I was so deeply in my head and then I just started thinking about who I was as a person, and if you guys actually like me, and like if you ever had a problem with me, would you be like willing to tell me about it or would you just

No, I wouldn't. You've made an environment where if I say something to you and speak up, I can't I get hit she hits me? No. Uh, that's so funny that you mentioned that because I had a dream. I think I told you this morning or last night at one am, because I accidentally fell asleep at nine thirty

And you said that I stayed in the van.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was just me out there with.

Trixy, so you had a bunch of pictures with Trixy affairs.

Yeah. It was really really an insane dream. Really an insane dream, y'all.

Yeah, it doesn't sound that insane when you put it into like that perspective. I have a scary dream, but I don't remember, but I know that when you tried to wake me up the first time, I woke up from it and then I knocked back out.

I I've been sleeping till three pm every day.

No, it's the latest it goes is like one, but I haven't woken up at one in a while.

You and O Ryan did sleep till two, and it was the night after something scary happened, and I I really thought the Idaho fo massacre happened in our house, and that Oriyan and Enya were murdered in her bedroom, and that I was just existing in this house until two. And then I went to knock on her door and I was like imagining them like bloody and pattern to prouse, and I was like cool, like I have to call the cops now and they're gonna think I fucking did this shit, And I didn't fucking do this.

It was actually because we stayed up so fucking late watching Love Is Blind, and we then we we stayed up late watching Love is Blind. Then we got in bed and we watched tiktoks and we only went to sleep when we did because the sun was fully up so crazy and we were scared of the sun like keeping us up longer. So we were like, turn off your phone, turn off your phone, just go to sleep, Like, just turn it off because we're gonna keep looking at it.

Turn it off.

And we both like turned off our phone and like turned over into like the pillow so that we could like go to sleep.

Oh, and it was fun.

It was a very fun night, such an amazing vibe, amazing vibes all around.

Did y'all fgure each other?

No, not that night. We were too tired.

When he slept in my bed.

Oh I literally did, and did weep angry each other?

But yeah, I'm like, Drew.

Falls asleep instantly, Drew sleep over by because he just knocks out.

Like we got in bed and we were trying to figure out what's to watch him. He's like, honestly, just put anything on because I'm gonna fall asleep. And he did. He like two seconds later he fell asleep. That's what you did last night too.

Last night we were sitting on his bed after eating the jack of potatoes and he was like, damn, maybe that's my new food because it's not even knocking me out. And then he laid on the bed and we were watching something and he knocked out ten minutes.

Then he was fucked up. It's fucked up. That's another doctor appointment I need. The schedule is to find out why I fall asleep after I eat.

Also, I came to the conclusion.

Remember how Drew used to say our old couch had black mold. It never had fucking black mold. It was the start of Drew's weird fucking thing where he eats and knocks out and and then go yeah, he would eat and then go lay on the couch and knock out, and he was the only one experiencing that.

But he'd be like, guys, something so happens when I put my face in this couch. And he would always say, I'd be like watching like ten minutes I'm gonna be asleep, And he would be asleep, but it was after he fucking ate food. He would like, lay on the couch.

And knock out crazy fucking vibe.

Bro, Well, what's gonna happen if you go to the doctor and you actually do have pre diabetes and you have to change your eating habits, change my eating habits?

Will you?

No, I'll eat what I eat until my fucking feet fall off, bitch, Like I'll be walking around with stubby, fucking legs if I have to give up talkies because I'm not giving up talkies.

You are so annoyed.

If they say give up red forty or take will take your feet, I'll let them have my feet. Just take my feet now, Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Yeah. I guess who would you be without your nighttime concoctions? I don't know, Like, if you lose yourself, you're having the same thing people being like, uh, who would I be? Like I would lose all my spark if I took an ssrr that's you with your food, Like I would lose all my spark if I wasn't literally feeding my guns.

The most diabolical that's.

The thing is my microbiome. Controls my brain. So I have like a very eclectic, weird microbiome in my gut.

And that's a weird way to describe a really unhealthy microbio. I have an eclectic microbiome, Like there's like trinkets and charms in your stomach.

No, it's literally like red forty corns, yrup and acid.

Every time I eat, I'd kill them.

You kill all the healthy bacterior in your gut. No, but like once a month you'll have a green juice.

Yeah, I've been good about eating green. I really have been. And don't even sit there in front like I have it.

You had a single. I saw you eat a salad for the first time.

I ate a salalid. I ate ate a salad on the side.

Chicken sandwich, macaroni. He had a resis take five Smarties, peanut m and MS, sung other random shit in there.

Oh no, and a KFC chicken cheese pizza, which is a KFC chicken thigh with it's like a fake fucking like, yeah, it's a cheesea So he ate all that with the salad on the side, and that mind you that crunched in.

Ran Listen, listen, there's a yin and a yang. I'm given a take and I have to balance the good with the evil, because if I'm just eating good things for me, I'm gonna be sad. I have to experience the bad to be happy. Or yeah, am I a holy shit? No, don't deprive yourself of the things you want to eat. That's the takeaway. If I want to eat a salad, I'm gonna eat a salad.

I eat what I want, but not the way you do. Like I had that mac and cheese from Dave's Hot Chicken. I was like, Yeah, I'm gonna have that mac and cheese, but I'm also gonna eat like not red forty on the side with it.

I ren forty stare. Yeah, I guy, it's been getting out of control. I eat like three meals at once at night in my bed.

It is a vibe, though, because I get a late night snack out of it.

So I get to have my dinner at a normal human time of like seven pm, and then around one pm I can just walk into Drew's buffet and it's like the nastiest things I've ever seen, and I get to have a bite eventor so I get to have all your evil food my late night snack, which is actually kind of a vibe, like literally, thank you for that.

Actually, this is probably a problematic take, but I miss bonappetite Brad and Clara or Claire so fucking much.

Oh yeah, I miss that era of life because it also was.

Like a vibe and also like it was so fun shipping them even though they probably hated each other, And like I stumbled upon like Brad's TikTok recently and he's still fucking weird and doing weird shit, and I love him and he's sexy hot. And then I stumbled upon Claire and she's making tiktoks now and she's sexy hot, and it's just like literally such a vibe, Like I love them, and she's so matro matrely, how do you say that? Matreally?

I think so?

Is that how you say that? Guy?

Honestly, I don't know, but it sounds right.

And I just want her to hold me. And she makes like these like brown butter sugar cookies with chocolate, Like I.

Wish I had the lust for life that people who cook really good meals for them do, because I really make myself meals to survive.

We made jacket potatoes.

That's true. That's what was cracking me up.

Is to Drew, I was saying, how we haven't cooked, we haven't made a meal in this house that needs heat. What I fucking eat, I can't even make fun of what you eat.

And what I eat is fucking really eat ingredients?

Yeah, I eat ingredients, and I don't constructed decay.

Hey, it's kind of like Michelin's Star vibe, like deconstruction.

It's cottage cheese and heart of palms.

That bitch was onto something. The lady on TikTok hard a palm with mustard and cottage cheese. That shit is fucking yummy, and I got the stuff to make it today. So I'm gonna today I'm gonna have a tuna sandwich and heart of palm with mustard.

And you know what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna have tuna and ritz and then I'm going to get some cottage cheese and I'm going to scoop out half of in avocado one bite at a time, and then put the cottage cheese in the bite and eat it all at once. And y'all, I swear to God, it'll change your life. It'll change your life.

Well, the birds are back to chirping, and I think it's going to be okay. I think it's all gonna be okay. Yeah, because when like starting to end and the birds are back to chirping outside my window, I do feel a little spark again.

And I heard it yesterday.

I was like, oh my god, Oh my god, God, I'm.

Literally gonna be okay. I see because I had to. I had to show up for my bay.

No, you were actually feeling good. You were happy. Yeah, let's say it that way.

Yeah, I was so happy.

Just wait through, just wait till the hummingbirds come back and they're flying around our living room window.

Did I feel like we have the insert that there's this TikTok of Josie and I either feel like that picture or I feel like the character running through a silent hill map. Those are my two.

Variations of mental states right now. And I'm to the point that usually talking about my mental state will make me burst into tears, but I actually feel.

Nothing. Oh my god, wow, makes you think I feel nothing?

You like, I literally it is actually so funny where my mental estate has been. But I'm just hoping and praying that it goes away soon or I start taking an SSRI and I never have to feel this again. And that's my vibe right now, because being twenty five, post five years of therapy and still feeling like this, something's not I don't know, something is not adding up.

I was so down bad.

I played a U two song on Fortnite Festival to distract myself.

That's how damn bad I am because.

I played the Lady Gotgun the Libya Rodrigo songs too many times, and I don't want to play fucking a Nelly song. Why is that in the fortnight like festival, like it kind of makes no sense. I don't want to play a Nelly song.

I don't. I'm so sorry.

I don't give a fuck about Blink one eighty two like oh kill me. I don't want to play that. I want fun girl songs, like where's all the girl songs? So I played a U two song and I just sat in silence alone in the living room playing a U two song on Fortnite Festival, and I felt like my head was gonna explode. But then Drew woke up and told me about his dream, and then I got up and I wasked, like, I need to go to bed because this is not helping me right now.

And yeah, I'm.

Sending you to the dark place right well, I am just so incredibly happy and just so happy.

So happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy everything she said I'm feeling.

So we're just like this bubble.

We just potentiate each other every single night, and it's actually a really dangerous environment to be in. So I've decided I'm not going to feed into it anymore. And you can't feed into mine anymore. And that's the tea, that's the real t and.

I've been electrocuting my brain.

Yeah, I was gonna bring it up, but I was like, I'm gonna like kai talk about that because that is not my tea.

You know what's crazy is so I've been doing TMS, which is.

Like when you girls have periods and they're like.

No, really no, it's not the same as that. That's PMS. Now I'm me educating you. So I basically be doing this thing where you like you electrocute like a part of your brain literally, and it's supposed to stimulate it.

It's a vibe. I've heard of it.

Yeahs to work. We'll fucking see, because every time I'm in that chair, I feel like I'm in clockwork orange and my fucking memory is being a race. Yeah. But the first I went in for like the first one, and the person that was like helping me with it was like, uh, what do you do for work? And I was like, oh, I like produce this podcast and he was like, oh, emergency intercom. And then he like pulled the switch and like and I was like getting electrocuted.

Yeah, you are like burning, like your your brain is touching like a like a dangerous socket.

And are you telling me your doctor that's electrocuting your brain listens to this podcast?

Well, the person that sent me up. Yeah, I haven't been paired with him again, but.

That's so gagworthy.

But I was like, you're literally strapped into a chair, like tied into it. They don't need to move because if you go too far to the right then you like your brain turns off.

Yeah, I've seen videos of it. It's like pretty intense, like they're.

Like it was just the craziest situation because they have Roku on and then it's just like drone footage of like Farmland. And he was like cool, like how long have you guys been like doing that? Like I just started listening recently. I was like getting electric cuting.

And he wasn't even listening like in the I think.

He's like been a fan for like a couple of months. But then yeah, but he was really sweet and it was actually kind of fun talking to him. Well, I got like an electric current pulsating through my.

Yeah, that's a better situation is having like a semi normal conversation with somebody rather than like a sterile ass doctor just being like you ready, okay again.

Yeah, but they've been up in the power every single day, and it's to the point where like my face twitches.

Every Yeah, it's daily, y'all. He's gone. He has like three more weeks of daily brains.

Do you feel like it's helping.

I'm gonna be honest, I have felt better. You have a couple of weeks. But I feel like you can pick up on it a little bit.

Yeah, I was gonna say, you've like, yeah, every time we've like had our hour long phone cost me and Kai talk on the phone. I have a screenshot we talk on the phone for like an hour almost every night. It's a vibe. But yeah, I just like keep mental notes and you're I've been.

Feeling it's been like the first time in like nine months. But with all of this ship, I'm like, I'm not gonna say it's a success until it's like six months, but but yeah, it's been. It's been good, and I think it's a really funny thing to do, which is the most important.

It's a bit, it's a bit.

Yeah, I feel like I'm like literally a cartoon character.

Dude, I've been doing this thing called masturbation. Have y'all heard of that?

Yeah? Yeah, yes, that's not like a I don't. I actually think that might be if you do it too much. I actually think that might be bad for you. No, oh, are you for big the statistics wrong?

I just did it. I just did it just now, like literally just now.

You know the like thing where like uh samurais that are really good?

Like fairly open the sores fucking flat?

That's you both with your wiener.

Fucking nasty boots.

Have ever told the twin experiment in college?

Yes?

Yeah, I've talked about that on the podcast. Yeah no I didn't.

I swear you have.

What is it?

Why do you think we're lying?

What is it? If I've talked about it, it's.

It's like they tried to take like you and Madeline, or you thought they took you in Madeline for uh like a like a study or some shit you've talked about like a twin experience on here. Yes, I part of the story multiple times.

Okay, Well, they are gentrifying the pyramids and it's bullshit. I swear to god they are. They literally are gingrifying the pyramids, like they're going in there and they're adding fucked up fake plaster rocks to like rebuild to what they look like instead of leaving them in the ruined state they are in now and it's real.

Well, no, it's a wrap when they have a tripod with the ring light and the iPad between it.

No, they already do have that, Like it's crazy. They have like photo areas, like.

They have their blue bottle to the middle of it.

Yeah. Yeah, there's a blue bottle even that chamber.

Like if I was out there in the middle of nowhere, I'd be like, I want to coffee so bad, and then I'd see it and I'd be the first person and I.

Yeah, we got to get out of there though, like literally, we got to get out of those tombs.

Yeah, because it's like a sacred exactly.

Like people have got to leave, but I want to go. I want to go so bad. I want to feel the echo chamber. There's like a vibration room like inside of there where like one of the bodies was buried were buried, and the frequency that reverberates out the walls is like in like whatever whenever it's cool. It's fucking late, I want to go inside the Pyramids, and me and Madeline and Stephen were planning.

A trip but right before phobd Yeah, but.

Then they were like, you can't go.

So I don't mean there's any landmark I've ever been, like I need to go there. There's like I don't think I have a single one. Oh, like I don't.

I can't even think of a landwork.

It's not that big ass thing that's like flat Drew's penis.

Okay, I was trying to get it then moved Flat Drew's ass there.

It's big, a big flow.

It's where the Aliens like touched down, and it's in the United States, like this huge plateau. Oh no, no, is it It's called Devil's Plateaus.

I don't know.

I don't know about that.

I think it's that like, is it sacred land Devil's Tower. I think some dude parachuted out of a plane and landed on that, but they didn't have a way to get down, so.

Like this shit, this is insane.

Yeah. Yeah, some dude jumped out of an airplane, landed on it in like the thirties, and then didn't have a way to get fucking down. So he was just trapped up there for like a week and a half. Literally it became like national news and like they had to send like supply drops with like uh propeller airplanes and they would just drop like food and shelter for him every day. And then eventually like five rock climbers like climbed up and then climbed them down. Isn't that tea.

I'm just thinking about how there's nowhere I want to visit, and it's freaking me out.

But really I've just decided I don't really give a fuck about.

You don't want to go to Iceland and see the volcanoes in the silver suit?

Yeah, but that's different because that's not like a historical like it's not one of the Seven Wonders of the World necessarily. I just want to see it because I saw a movie about lavas and volcanoes, and I know what it'll be pretty.

I want to do that kind of stuff.

But I want to like get into Like all I really give a fuck about when I travel is if I could go somewhere and get into a body of water, that's what I want.

And if they have a Dover Street market with the rare Dover street market clothing.

No, I like literally decided I don't like to travel for cities.

What you gotta do is you gotta get high and then watch a documentary on the Pyramids, and then it'll be the only thing you can think about for six months.

It sounds like it'll like that environment will fuck up my eggsma, that's all I can think about. When I look at the desert, like watching Done, I was like, dude, this would destroy me, Like it would feel like my skin.

Yeah, it's so gross. No, I'm entering my architect arc soon, y'all. I think I'm gonna start building little houses in the middle of the wood and or in the wood in the middle of the wood. I'm going to like go to home depot and buy like plywood and ship and just build like house.

I'm imagining you like getting like nails and building something and it falling over and you go like freaking out.

The way you doing something sucks up.

You're like, oh my god, can get myself.

No.

No, if I'm out alone, I can't yell because I'm not yelling towards anybody.

Oh yeah, I ate again, might still yell. I would yell, not me.

I'm different.

You don't talk to yourself at all.

Yeah, I do. I do a lot. I'm fucking crazy, y'all. I'm fucking crazy. I'm so fucking crazy. Okay, well, let's get into some media. We watched Dune two. We did a back to back double feature Dune one here at the crib. It was three hours, and then we went to the theater and watched Dune two for three hours. Dune two is fucking awesome. Uh duh. Everyone says it's awesome. It is awesome. It was like there was some comparisons made before where I was like, girls, like, what the

Period.

Yeah.

That was the thing that Drew. That was Drew's birthday wish for us all to do is to see Dune one.

And actually no, I literally just forgot it was my birthday when I bought the tickets and it was my birthday. We're rolling into my birthday. As we got in there and then everyone was like, oh, it's your birthday, Like, I'll come and join it.

Yeah, that's why I did it, because I was like, I know because now that I've pointed it out, that it rolls into you because I pointed it out and I was like, I don't really want to go, but I guess it's kind of like your birthday wish and you were like.

Oh, yeah, I guess it is. I guess you have to do it unless you don't fucking give a fuck about me, Like, and he said it to me and Josie, because me and Josie were like, we're not doing that.

We don't want to. But me and Josie sat next to each other during it. But when we were here, I was like, I feel like if I got high, I would tap in, Like I just know I would. Because watching Across the Spider Verse in that state literally had me thinking that I made the movie like it was the craziest feeling.

I've ever felt.

I was like, oh my god, it was so gorgeous being a part of this movie.

That's what it made me feel like.

And then watching June one, I got so tapped in in a way that I genuinely don't believe I would have sober because I'm such a bitch about sci fi and I don't really care for sci fi because I grew up in a household with a parent who really liked Star Wars, so I grew up watching those movies all the time, and they would piss me off and I would always take a nap and be like, wake me up when this shit's over, Like I don't want to watch this shit again. So I don't like sci

I'm like just staring at us, and we were like, oh, oh my god, and he like didn't.

Like they were sitting behind us, So I would get up to go get snacks from them and come back down, And when I would be coming back down, I would literally just watch him like stare at me into my seat and like he didn't want to turn his head to us, but we knew he was so unhappy to be sitting next to us. No, during the movie, I literally said to Josie, I was like, Okay, during the movie, we're not gonna talk because this man's actually gonna stab us.

Like, don't fucking speak to me.

Me and Josie did not utter a single fucking word to each other during that movie, because he gave me the aura that he was actually going to like stab me, a mass stabbing was going to happen to me and Josie if we even breathed too hard during that movie. So we didn't speak during the movie. Also, there was one point when I was falling asleep because I don't

Bitch.

I got to binge it like it was love is blind, Like I just saw the whole thing in one night. It was lit and I was the only one who clapped after dude.

It was so funny. Me, Josh and Lucas and Christian were like dying laughing because and you like clapped and went wooh. It was silent, like it was so silent, like.

Y'all aren't vibing the way I was. And I had a really good time and it was freaking awesome. And then I came home and I knocked out.

That's my storm, the vibe vibe. It was the best birthday I've ever d in my life. Okay, Well, then my music media is I made a new playlist on Spotify and it's called I want to like music again so bad. Please let me enjoy music. This is out of control, and it's because I don't like music right now. Hence my media has been so fucking boring. Go listen to that playlist if you want to hear what I'm trying to like right now. And it's mainly just Inya in Orion's music that they put on in my vicinity.

My media is nothing stays the same by Alastica Claire de Lune number three by Claude Debussy, Bussy Wondering Who by the Jacksons, and it only happens delegation, Oh and roll on, Babe, Ronnie Lane, ray.

On, bitches Ye my favorite song, Get spray on, bitches. Okay, Drew Sye up corner, Drew Sye up corner. Y'all, bitches want to try fenton al try fentonyl this dick in your mouth?

Oh my god?

Okay, my gosh, folklore evermore cankersore? I don't give a fuck. Where's the liquor store? Um? This girl just put one dollar on pump too? Where the fuck she going? Pump three? M man? These are all screenshots from my email, So y'all gotta get better, do better, y'all. Okay, let's see.

I literally can't wait to eat a tune sandwich right now. That's what's keeping me going period.

This one's so stupid. Got a meat low flavored vape from Goodwill, and now my arms won't bend. Eric i'ven wolf. Okay, well that sucked. Oh my god, I'm done with y'all. Send me good shit next time. How about that? Okay, motherfuckers?

Oh my god, you're so evil? Well that was it for the episode. Sorry, if we bummed you out.

We.

You said you agreed with me?

No, it was a wee thing.

I hope everybody. I feel like everybody's in a bit of a slump right now.

So yeah, I love you.

We will all prevail and maybe you hear the bird birds, Yeah, maybe the birds will save me.

Like it's not no doubt, and I'm like the birther bird.

The bird is the word. Yea, the bird is literally the word.

All right, thank you guys for watching.

The good news is the new Fortnite season comes out, like is it this week?

It might be today? Really, yeah, it's this week, so let's go. Big things coming, big things coming, because I.

Can get drunk alone and flame for hours.

Dude, I like can't play Fortnite not sober because I suck so bad.

But I've been.

Sucking really bad because it's to the point of the season where all the fucking, like crazy motherfuckers are playing. Yeah, and it's just only the people, only the streamers. Yeah, and like bitches like you were playing right now, so I'm just getting murked.

Also, we got stream sniped.

Oh yeah, I was playing on stream and somebody stream sniped us, like, and I didn't notice until somebody posted a compilation of how many times me and Drew got killed in a game we were playing, and the same person killed me twice, So you're evil.

Okay.

Also, guys, I know I've been making all these jokes about drinking alone. They're not jokes. I'm getting fucked up every night now, they're jokes. They're jokes I have. I'll have like five beers.

Oh that's a lot.

Okay, all right.

I said I was pushing fifty. I am.

You are not pushing fifty.

I am.

You're barely pushing thirty.

But no, if you think about it, push twenty five is halfway to fifty. Anything over twenty five is pushing fucking fifty. So I'm pushing fucking fifty.

Y'all.

Well I'm pushing pe so he.

Okays, Vagina. We're all gonna make it through this. Guys.

We will listen to the birds, all right. Bye,