the Hey Incident

Welcome to this episode of Emergency.

Intercom, Episode fifteen. We made it. We made it to fifteen.

I almost said, that's three weeks in a row.

What is that?

Like?

Three almost four months, almost four months of consistent weekly posting.

That is unheard of.

I like us being a friend of when people were like what the hell and like, yeah, bitch, it is shocking.

It's shocking. It's shocking. But we're here to stay. Baby, you can't get rid of us. Hopefully, just wait till we start making money.

I'm gonna say. I mean, we're here to stay.

Is like if it turned into something, but by this time we thought we'd be able to like pay a.

Bill or something, but.

No money we have it.

We can't even pay Khi.

We've got free interns. We're free workers for ourselves.

Literally no no, and say we're doing all this work for free for them, like they're doing like they're getting us for free.

I think they've always gotten us for free though, so like that's not that crazy.

It's not like we're like Netflix stars are, like usually you'd have to pay subscription to time.

I want booking fees per video. I want a watch this video sent us ten dollars. That'd be awesome.

Well that's why we were going to start a Patreon, not for ten dollars, because literally, what would we do for ten dollars If you like a lot of share people out there who would give you ten dollars a month, if you practiced three times a week trying to learn how to do a backflip.

I'll do it.

The thing is, I know if you try to do a bat flip, you would be the person to like break your fucking back and I'd have to be wheeling you around.

I would I know, I think I could land a backflip if I like practice for a while.

I don't think tall people can do that.

Yeah, I think that's like maybe not actually no, but I could do a backflip if i'd like practice for like like give me six months and I'll be able to do this.

This is literally like when you watch the Olympics that you were like, I could be a sharp shooter.

Like you know, I'm okay, literally, but like think about that, Like you just stand still and hold a fucking gun and shoot it. Like that's the easiest thing. Ever. You don't train physically at all, Yes.

You do, you think because you go to war once a week.

On call of duty. I haven't played in a long time.

Good girl.

I would go into your room and be like steaming, Which does that makes sense? You should be playing it when it's cold.

But I guess since Brandon's wedding is coming up, is that why?

Yeah, my brother's getting married. Congratulations Brandon and Rachel. I love y'all.

I love y'all so much. I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be there.

You flaked last second. Did you know that this is perfect to bring up in the podcast. They've already ordered your food and it's eighty five dollars a plate, and now they haven't actual food.

I'll drive there, I'll go for two days and then come back.

Let's do it.

I'll do it if you kiss me, kiss me?

Okay, do we get into the topic or do I get what's on the forefront of my brain out and then we can get on the topic.

Get it on the forefront, Get on the forefront.

Yes, when you said that, I imagine you're handing me a gun and like pushing me.

They need to start going back to war.

Yeah, there hasn't been like enough war.

Yeah, that's why there's so much like tension in society right now is because all the men are just at home and we're just not at war. Send us away and life will be good again. That is actually very interesting. I wonder if that.

I wonder if your face genuinely turned like like you you believed yourself.

Yes, I guess, I don't know. I don't know if the world was any better, but just like couldn't drive cars, no, just could drive cards by them.

We had like tanks and airplanes.

But just could drive tanks.

I have to get what's at the forefront on my brain off, because my brain is actually on fire right now. There's like two very important things three, the first one being that I need to let y'all know because I.

Tell y'all about all of Azol's bellel movements.

At six thirty am today, I woke up to the sound of like gagging and like coughing, and I looked down and Azula's just looking.

Down at her vomit that she's thrown up onto my bed.

And I literally sat up and I was like staring at her, and she was looking at me, and I think I like moved to go like see where she threw up and she like ran away, and I wish I got a picture of her, because like a little bit of sunlight was peeking through, and it genuinely looked like the alien standing in the doorway, like that was a zool in her shadow, and she was standing there so shameful, just staring at the floor for I'm not getting like twenty minutes.

Well, I knew he did a bad thing. He didn't need to do it.

No he didn't. I wonder what though, I bet he fucking well.

I caught him chomping on my plant again. The reason why I left that there is because there's a dead leaf on the ground, and I'm like, if he's gonna eat anything, he can eat this dead leaf and get it out of him and just eat my fucking plant.

But I need to order that spray because.

He's destroying all of my plants. Yeah, that whole corner is just fucking mangled.

Now much is on it. I think he'd get to it. My room, my big long, fine plane. He's been like chomping on since.

It's like, why is he doing that? All of a sudden, it's actually trying.

Now, it's because he wants more attention.

I'm gonna give him attention.

That sounds like you're gonna hurt him.

And then the second thing is, actually this is not important to talk about, but like bad Baby, I can't believe, like that's a person.

That's kind of it.

She's kind of awesome.

Like in her own ways. Oh no, this is what I was gonna say. I think she's trying to tell people she's Mexican.

A Mexican flag in Bad Baby's bio, and she's been looking like.

Hella Pale, but.

Like like the makeup is like going towards like a Caliucci's.

Yeah, I saw that now that Caliucci.

Is Mexican, but she's inching into Latin every.

Time I see her. She looks different, like completely different, and it actually blows my mind.

But she just has the Mexican flag up. And then I was like, no, is that the French flag? No, that's the Mexican flag.

Maybe maybe she has a little bit in here, maybe she's like twenty five percent or something.

Or may wait wait, wait, let me see before I like call bed Baby out. Oh no, no, no, it's the French flag. Okay, what like why.

Or is it the Italian flag?

Wait?

What is the Italian flag. Oh maybe it's Italian. I think it is the Italian flag.

I don't know what all.

These because she is like Italian.

Oh okay, dude, I wish the Mexican flag.

I knew that the emblem is in the middle of the Mexican flag, but in my head I was like, oh, I guess I.

Didn't put it on the emoji because like it's.

Just like so detare.

But I saw that last.

Night and literally was cracking the fuck up because imagine, like bad baby just entering her Mexican air.

She freaks me the fuck out. Legitimately scares me. Like if I saw her on the street, I'd be terrified of her.

She talks about she like like flexes, how like quote unquote petitious all the time.

It's like very odd. I was like doing heavy stocking and.

She's like, I'm eighty seven pounds, I'm ninety three pounds because she's four eleven.

So she's like, I do you remember when she got into that fight with I forgot who she fought, but like, was it Malu? Yeah, maybe it was Malu. I don't know. I remember her fighting someone and it was like it broke the internet for a little bit. She just breaks the Internet constantly, like she knows exactly how to piss everybody off.

She gives very like Miami Florida behavior.

So I'm like, let's not expect anything of that baby, like when like of course, yeah, like what a lot of the things she does are wrong, but like why are we holding out hope that bad baby is gonna come to the internet in any sense?

Che see like form No.

One day she pulls up to the Internet and like just with like minimal like alexis rend makeup and it's like, hey guys, and like.

That's my favorite arc. Like literally like whoa Vicky had that arc? Like she was like the worst person of all time and now she's just like a Christian who like loves children and like wants a child, Like her arc was like crazy.

My thing is, like what I try to remember is think about how bored you are, and like the people watching like have like jobs and like go to school and like have like these full lives in their own towns, and then think about, like think about how bored you can get even though you're like leading a full life

And also like when the money's right, like people do stupid shit for money at any time of their life.

Yeah, like squid Game, Like I'm so glad the documentary was made about.

That because I know, like that needed to actually be talked about.

Yeah, because like the lengths in which someone will go for two for money and like how they'll just like turn their back on I can't.

Believe that happened in real life. I know I'm talking.

See that's that's one of my problems is like school doesn't teach you like important things like how to do your taxes and squid game?

How do win squid game? I mean technically like the recess, like you do learn a little bit.

But we didn't grow up in Korea, so we'd fucking die. I'd be like, what are these games?

Someone posted and they were like Indian Druid win this squid game, and I was like, yeah, we probably would, like we're kind of mania cool, Like I'm sorry, but I forget his name, but the dude who like fucked everybody over at the end and like the nineteen yeah one nineteen, Like that's how I would play the game. I'm sorry, Like I just would be. I would be a devil, Like I couldn't play fair. I would be an asshole, and I'd do anything to win because I want to live.

See that's where we're different because I relate to four five six. I'm like I like I would immediately emotionally get attached to everybody around me and then like be trying to make sure they live with me.

Yeah, but no, I'm kind of I'm like a lone wolf.

I would have to have sex with sixty seven and the girl she partnered with because you probably miss in the behind the scenes, that's what that episode actually like met. That was the like special meaning of the episode. Everyone was partnering up with who they wanted to have sex with.

Oh yeah, so.

I would probably they would probably I would be like the girl who didn't get a partner and then they just throw me into like a threesome with one of them, And I would pick sixty seven And like I don't know.

Her name or her number.

That duo, literally I don't know like I love both of them with my whole Yeah, I mean I have a That was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever experienced in my life. Legitimately the most heartbreaking thing.

I don't know. I like you say, that's the most harbor.

Like actually like that that made me cry like so hard.

I was literally like I was showing my friend on the phone yesterday, like what I look like when I use my iPad and I literally like lay back, and since I don't have a we don't have a case to bend it on or anything, I literally put a pillow or a plushy on my chest and then put the iPad there and it's this close to my face and I.

Was like.

And like like looking away and like pausing and like crying and like and then continuing it. Yeah.

I cried in the bath. It was awesome.

Oh I cried in your mom I was.

Literally No one talks about this, but how I was literally the first person to watch squid Game. Like I actually was the first person to watch it. They like showed me before everybody it like actually is like I did, I did, Like.

You were up at like whatever, No.

They nailed it to me via drop Box.

I don't know if that's like really risky.

It was one hundred gigabytes.

I feel like that show is way more than one hundred gigabytes.

Yeah, Okay, well let's get into this episode because we've been talking about absolutely nothing for the past ten minutes.

Well, you gotta you gotta give them a feeler, make our watch time go up, you know you.

It's like when someone clicked baked.

A video, so they clicked off. They already clicked off.

When the big thing doesn't happen until later. No, there's that one motherfucker who timestamps oh yeah for us.

I haven't seen him in a while.

Though, I know you Yeah, And I don't know if the playlist update is still there for Spotify.

Damn. It's funny how people just like stop caring about it.

They like change, they switch up, They prey on your fucking downfall, and then they get it and eventually comes true.

Okay, so we're here today to talk about.

The hate and the Hey incident. I think we've teased this for four or five years, literally since we've known each other. Yeah, and I think now is the perfect time to really dive into it. Makes me uncomfortable a little bit because it's embarrassing.

It doesn't well, it shouldn't be embarrassing for you, bitch. It's embarrassing for me because I could not read a room.

No, it's embarrassing for me because I just froze.

That makes sense. Though. I was like very like extroverted and fucking annoying, and I brought it up a lot. I was like not cool about it. I was very annoying.

So if you don't how do we do this? If you don't know what the Hay incident is, Yeah, we're talking about the time Drew literally ghosted me and fully rejected me and destroyed my ego.

He gave me ego death.

So so we'll start from the very beginning. So, like how long ago six years ago? We met each other five years ago, and.

We like became friends in like late twenty fourteen, early fifteen.

And then we met so like we knew of each other. We've known of each other for a while, yeah, and then just like through the Internet and like whatever, but like we never really spoke online. We just kind of like we're in the same crowds and like really just knew of each other, and then we finally met in person. On tour.

Yeah, and I think before that I had finally we followed each other like a few months before, yeah, because Christian was the reason I got on tour and you were close to Christian. Yeah, so then I was like, oh, I should follow the people on tour, so it's like not weird.

Yeah, but yeah, So we met each other for the first time in twenty fifteen, and it was in Miami, and and you got invited to one of our tour dates and yeah, it was It was a good time. It was like, it's awkward at first, obviously, like.

We did have sex immediately.

It was really it was gross.

We took each other's like rigidity, like immediately.

It was really gross in the.

Middle of the like banquet hall where everyone was watching. But no, when I went, I.

Remember I thought I would hang out with like Christian and like Michael Moore because like those were the people who I knew more out of everyone.

But it was.

Actually you, like I we like hit it off immediately.

Wind like soulmates, like legitimately.

The Tonic soulmate Sleigh.

But yeah, we literally got along instantly, and then I think after the show, Oh no, we even did our table together.

Yeah, like we did like a little duo thing together.

Damn, that's actually crazy, like immediately like pairing up, and then we did every show.

Yes, oh that's so screet. I never thought about that, but yeah, oh.

Yeah, because our tickets weren't even being sold as like we weren't even having duo tickets at that point.

That's crazy.

It was literally just britt and then we just were like, let's just combine our tables because I felt like we already had like very similar audiences because we were like monsters online. We were like evil people online. But yeah, but.

Yeah, we like hit it off immediately.

We hung out and did our like meet and green table together the whole time, and then after we like walked to Starby's together diarbage. Yeah, and I don't remember anything we specifically spoke about, but it was very chill, like we got along really well.

And then there's I remember thinking like, oh, like this is weird because like whenever I meet new people, I'm like so closed off and like genuinely like not like myself. And that still is like even today. And it took me like weeks before I was like comfortable around Christian and Michael and like I remember immediately I like felt like normal, like I just like could be like a monster with you. I was what you needed, yeah exactly, and you were what I need you and I was what you needed.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, and I'm striking out.

I'm tweaking.

I'm a fucking tweaker. I'm tweaking out, man, Mikey.

Mikey's yea the way you do ye, the way you do get in the way, dude.

John's perfect. So me Andrew were getting along.

The funny thing is too, I don't think we spoke that much outside of tour or maybe I'm tripping, but I don't because not immediately. Yeah, maybe I don't even think like when we were in the like really thick of it of being homies, I don't feel like we were like huge phone communicators.

But we were. Yeah, we were texting like literally almost immediately, like we were like texting like almost every day. I mean like not like at first, but like I remember, like, yeah, as a guy, I like considered you like my like one of my best friends, and I was like, this.

Is about to be my friend. Okay.

Also for like context, not to demean your attractiveness or whatever, but this was a time in my life where any boy or person in general who gave me the time of day and actually like spoke to me a lot and gave me a lot of attention and like was very kind to me.

I was like, we should date.

Yeah, I was like, and it doesn't help that I'm like literally absolutely sexy, like drop dead gorgeous, like just like bulging all over.

I don't know if you were like.

Gray sweatpants challenge every day.

You were always in those gray sweats.

I was in those Nike tracks, I.

Know, literally in your Nike tracks, and like weird shirts.

Yeah, my Metallica shirts. I could not name a single Metallica song.

The Metallica Thrasher hair dude.

Okay band tea era justin Bieber Purpose Tour merch era, like we need to nightmare burn that shit.

That is where fast fashion began began.

That was like this start.

The moment Fast Passion looked at us and was like, I'm about to take advantage of you.

I'm about to beat this bitch's ass.

But yeah, I like just thought everyone who was nice to me, like, I was like I should date them, Like that's two, Like we get along.

Why aren't we kissing. So I don't know if it was.

Like a media but I think it's And I personally like when it happened, I didn't feel like I was like leading you on or anything. I genuinely was like, oh, like we're just really close friends. But maybe I should have like like thought about it deeper.

No, I I don't even think.

It's not like I showed signs of having a crush on you, Like.

There was one time, what, no, there was one time you know what I'm talking about? Is it Boston with Cody next to us? It was like, yeah, it was Boston, Boston, Boston.

I was brave.

Yeah, I remember very brave in Boston. I was a prude and a virgin. I would like never like actually make up.

Like an actual That's the other thing. Like all of your like moves were so subtle and like weird. It was just like it was just like it was unreadable.

Yeah, it was just something that you could like. Still.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever been good at like hitting on people or like making it known I like them. But especially when I was like sixteen and like just Insekurana, I was like, this is what someone wants, Like I think like, as far as I know, this is what Tumblr has taught me, this is what my fan fixs. But yeah, and I don't think it was very obvious at all, But in my head it was like a blazing I was like, it's just I think every like especially like teenager, does that when you have a crush

Friend of mine.

Like I had a crush but I was at the top of the list.

Yeah, come on, right at the top of my list.

Let's go.

So yeah, I don't I think it was like twenty sixteen.

Yeah, the Hay incident happened.

Like late twenty like middle twenty sixteen, maybe.

I think top twenty seventeen. It was like right before we moved out. No, it was like a year or almost two years before we moved that year. I wish we had the timeline perfectly laid out, but basically.

I think I could find it because I have to find the I have a screenshot of the Hay.

Yeah, so Enya like was yeah like sending me signals. I wasn't reading them, Like I feel like I'm pretty good at like picking up when like people have like crushes on me or whatever, and I like, yeah, like because I'm easily like crushed upon, like I just get it so often.

Yeah, it happened to you.

Literally, people are all.

September eighth, twenty sixteen. I wait, no, no, no, the actual text. I don't know when it was sentau, but I had posted something that said hashtag never forget hashtags.

Oh so it was literally way before that then.

Yeah.

So then it was just like twenty sixteen, Okay, let's.

Keep going, which is so burb of me to post on an account you follow. That's like so mean. I was a cunt, like but yeah, so I don't know at what point I was like fuck it.

Maybe it was after this Boston incident where I was like trying to be like no, but like I'm so hot. Like also, we were like sharing beds and again like I can't.

I'm trying to like kind of cut around it.

Okay, I'll literally just say I like slept in my underwear next to Drew, and I was like getting closer because I was like, I was.

Like, he's gonna hold me, Like I was like he cannot.

And like I was like, it's like, get off of me.

And it was just.

Like so.

I know. I genuinely I don't even remember that. There was another thing that I was, Oh, I don't remember that. I don't remember.

That's what I remember. I remember.

I was like, I'm gonna be crazy and I'm gonna be like I didn't bring like pajump pants and I'm gonna sleep in my underwear. Also, it's only like I had so see underwear. I had like fucking like gap ass underwear, which some would argue that like that's sexier than like a thong, especially if you're like no ass like me.

It's like embarrassing to wear a thong for me.

But yeah, I was thinking of was when it was like me, you and Cody Ryle and we were like all in a room and I guess it was Boston and like you, no, I do not remember doing it.

Yes, I did not remember that that happened, because like that's the way word yeah, that will get believed out. I think around the time when I was like, fucking I'm just gonna text him, like because a few of our mutual friends knew, because I would like tell them that I did, and like they would all be like, I think it's like a boat goes both ways, which is like a fucking lie, Like, by just tell me the truth. And at this point I was just like

So this is this is exactly how it went down.

So it was a Tuesday at three am, Like cool, so at three am my time.

Oh no, it's like one am. But it was on like a school night. So whatever I say, I was awake.

I remember it vividly.

As if you didn't already know I have the fattest crush on you, so I wanted to tell you that I do indeed have the fattest crush on you.

And then and then I ghosted anything and it was like hours like I had seen it.

No, it was like almost a full day.

Yeah, that's what I meant. Like it was. It was a long time, and I just completely ghosted it. I didn't want to talk about it because I was like, no, like I actually like hanging out with you, like I'm ruin this, but little did you.

Know that, Like for me, I was like all right, okay, fine, like this I was bought her, but it was like more funny to me, Like the whole thing for me was more funny. But I'm glad you like were caring about not wanting to like muddle our relationship. But again I was like a crush whore and I had a crush on literally everybody.

It was like actually fucked up. And then I would lead a bunch.

And then almost twenty four hours later, I just responded, hey, oh.

Wait, no, actually it's high. It's not even hey.

I responded hi, and then.

I almost immediately was like hi, and then nothing. He didn't say.

Anything because I was like I don't want to. I don't know how to fucking address this, like I don't, I don't I don't crush on you back like I didn't. I didn't have a thing for you back.

So then later that night at ten and fifty two pm.

You're just not my type, you know, I say yeah, because I'm not inside out dad, bitch, You're just not my type. If I was inside out dad, though, and I said and I said this to you, would you go for Yeah?

I would have felt like flat fire in my stomach and my heart would have exploded into a million butterflies if I would have felt it in my penis.

Tip if I was sixty seven, you would reply instantly yes from squip game, you would.

Be like hello, Hello, hello, exact yes, yes, me too, me too.

Mama, Mama, that's fond, mamma.

But what if as sixty seven, I didn't like being called mama and I found that really weird, and I.

Was like, okay, like, don't talk to me anymore, baby girl, my girl.

Oh.

Also, for more insight, is like like I had a crush on Drew, but I it wasn't like a true crush, Like when I think back to it, it literally wasn't an actual crush. It was genuinely like I just immediately loved this person. But I couldn't because especially it was

And never once was I like I need to do that.

And I would say that, which was so annoying because I would say that to all of my friends. I'd be like, no, like I'm not like sexually attracted to him or anything like that. And it's not like I'm an asexual person. I was very fucking horny, but I had no.

Want to like make out with you or anything like.

Damn, But I'm just saying, do you want to make out with me?

Now?

No?

I would literally we've talked about this us having sex now would literally be so fucking funny.

It would be the worst thing ever and like so like ill, it would just be funny, Like.

I like saw it. I saw it in my head. I saw it in my head.

But yeah, And I would tell this all of my friends and they'd be like, girl, that's because you're a prude, and I'm like, no, I've definitely looked at other people and wanted that, but like.

I don't know style yeah, like Nile Horran.

Drake, but yeah, I like so I think I'm saying that because I want to make it.

Clear that like there was it wasn't even gonna go anywhere it was.

But it's such a funny thing. But that night, at ten fifty two, I say.

Hi, and man that minutes later I say Hi back.

And then I was being a fucking cunt because I was like, cool, fucking poking Facebook Poke game we're playing. So I just sent him a screenshot of our text.

It's high high Hi Hi.

And like us saying hi like four times in a row to each other. But my friend at the time, like a close friend of mine at the time, who was friends with Drew, I sent her that screenshot and she printed it out and like took a picture with it.

So it's good to know that all of my friends were making fun of me behind my back, because I know it was all the girls like getting together having a key making fun of me, and then I was just here oblivious to the whole situation. And it's not my fault. I didn't have a crush back on you.

And that's okay because realistically, now that I know you very well and we know each other very well, I would actually rather die than us date, like, but I feel that about all my friends because it's like, now you don't go in like with rose colored lenses.

Yeah, you know everybody for their flaws.

You've seen me cry.

I know I've seen you be a fucking brat and you've seen me be a fucking brat piece of shit.

So it's like, yeah, well I wouldn't date you either.

Is this your like coming around the bend ark you want to date me?

I wouldn't date you either.

Me and Drew will get married if we're not married by we have to push you past thirty because now I'm like, thirty isn't old enough.

If we're not married, we're gonna like finally like be hot when we're thirty.

Yeah, by thirty, that's when I'll start like getting interests is because it makes me very happy when I see people like sixty seven from Squid Game, because she's like twenty eight, twenty nine, and I'm like, she is so fucking hot, And I look at myself and then other twenty like two twenty three years old girls and I'm like, I just.

I don't look like that.

Yeah, Like what when's my time?

What is my puberty?

When is my womanhood gonna like really set it, like I look like a woman, but I want to like look like a woman. Yeah, I want to I want to serve like O Ryan woman.

Yeah. But yeah, we made like a pact that we were going to get married when we were thirty and have children. I think it was forty. I'm pretty sure it was always forty.

It was I know, I think because we we said this.

When we were like eighteen nineteen, nineteen twenty so, and we were like, thirty is so fucking baheito like far away, like ill, and now we're like almost like.

Don't say it at the I don't say.

It halfway point, so it doesn't seem that far. So being like when we're thirty, I'm like, bitch, I won't even have a house when I'm thirty, Like I can't do thirty.

I'll have a house when i'm thirty. But yeah, we have this packed. We have a blood packed where we're gonna get married when we're forty and have adopt children. We can have children. I'll take a viagra, thanks a lot. I'll inmate you.

I'd actually rather fucking end my life. But we could do that thing where it's like they you have to go like do your business in a cup and then they like put like a turkey, uh like the thing they put yeah baster in me and they.

Just like, I give it to me. Our kids would be pretty.

We would have cute babies. Maybe no, we would have cute babies. We'd have cute little like Hispanic white babies, Hunduran white babies. Do you have you have brown eyes?

What the fuck?

I wish I had blue eyes, dude, growing up, my siblings had Dante's.

If you had hazel eyes, and that's all I wanted, It's.

All that's jealous of Madeline size growing up. She had like green brown eyes.

That's hazel sie.

No, like the insides were green and the outsides were brown.

I think that tazel sis.

Woa.

But yeah, and I don't even know how it flushed out.

I know I brought it up to him all the time, like I would be like annoying, Like we'd be hanging out and I would just bring it up and be like hi, and like be like really annoying about it.

Honestly, legitimately, unless I trauma blocked this, like I remember just like moving on from them. Yeah, it was not personally I did not have a second thought about it. I wasn't like, oh, this is like awkward, this is gonna be weird now, Like I remember we like we're probably together that next weekend and like we probably hung out the entire time. But yeah, legitimately, like it didn't

I know, like just in teen brain, it was like whatever, moving on, Like it was not that big of.

The next crush on.

Yeah, I literally, I genuinely don't think I thought about it for more than it was just funny. And I knew going into sending that text that it wasn't gonna like you weren't going to turn around and be like, oh god, yes, And I didn't want that anyway, because like it literally I feel like so many people can agree with that.

The fun part about.

Having a million crushes is that it's gonna go nowhere, and it's literally.

Just like crushes literally feel good. It's like a dopamine hit.

Yeah, it's just fun to like engage in. Whether it's reciprocated or not.

That's another thing, Like I bet depressed people have more crushes because it feels good to have a crush on people, and like every time you see them do something you're you immediately rewarded for that and you get crazy amounts of dopamine and serotonin pumped into your brain.

Probably because I had hell of crushes and I wanted to.

You feel me, I feel you.

But yeah, I think I just moved on and it was literally never spoken about. And then I went on to date so many people and have so much sex, like oh my god, like I can't even see. Like I just was like always like seeing someone and having.

Such and since we were sharing rooms, it was like the same bed as me.

Yeah we are. It's a lot in bed with Drew.

You know.

Actually, you know what is the.

Only thing that I think made me think maybe we you liked me back is when we would like do stupid videos where we were obviously trying to act like we were dating.

And that is something that I see a lot on the internet, and I'm like.

Y'all are playing a risky game, because I was like, yeah, like I was lucky that I walked away and I was like that's not real and like whatever, But there were moments where I was like, wait, is this a thing, because we were like so like good at like putting it on for a camera, a.

Piece of shorn leading me on.

Yeah no, but yeah, that's like the beginning of our fruitful relationship.

Yeah, and now we've been dating for seven years without telling anybody.

I mean like kind of like if like we see each other every fucking day, Like I would not.

Want to see anyone I'm dating every single day of my life. That sounds like a.

Marri No one can tolerate rate me the way I mean, you can't tolerate people the way you tolerate me.

I was trying to think of something mean to say, but I was like it would be too real if I was, like, I fucking hate being a round here. But yeah, and now we have a very sweet, loving, platonic relationship and we what's crazy is we still like kept sharing rooms and like sleeping together and like doing the whole thing. And it literally was not a big deal.

Yeah, genuinely wasn't weird at all.

I missed back.

I miss those days when you could just move on. Now everything hurts now.

It hurts now, it feels like a stab in the heart.

But yeah, that was that, and I don't I don't even know how to end it.

Because basically I get bitches and I can pick and choose who I want and who I don't want and any I'm sorry, but you were rotten apple, Like, well, I don't know where the fuck I was.

Going with that, but yeah, that was that. Maybe one day we'll get into like the stories of the tour days, because that shit was fucking batshit crazy.

That was the act. We'll do that next episode because that was legitimately like the most insane time of my life. Like yeah, like the stories from that fucking the tour days were like not chill and not even like oh the rock star stories, but like literally.

Like nightmare like children and like a not okay situation.

Yeah, like in a diabolical situation. I mean, like if that story is like anything to like take from tour, like the scenarios we were put in were like diabolical.

Yeah, because also like.

A bunch of like random like horny bored teen kids should not have been checked.

It's not gonna end.

Well, yeah, it's like I'm gonna have a crush on my bestie, Like you're you're making.

Me do it.

But yeah, and then now we live together. It's literally nothing. I could not neither of us could imagine it. Some people maybe still hold out a hope that that's a thing, and I'm sorry to break.

It to it.

Was literally like it will never happen.

I've seen too much of Vinya.

Yeah, just see me like burst into tears multiple times and be a fucking maniacal.

Evil piece of shit.

So and vice versa.

He I get crazy, I get crazy, I get curry, I get crazy.

Also imagine like dating sixteen year old me. Thank god I wasn't.

Dating anybody when I was a kid, a teenager because I was latica to the mat.

I was like, I mean, if those if that screenshots anything, you literally screenshot or attacks and sent it back to me, like it would have been so you would have tore my ship up. You would have fucking ate me alive.

I would have put you in your place.

Yeah, you literally would have.

You would have been a different person.

I probably would have like you would have destroyed me to the point where I was like, I can't, I can't keep doing this, and I would have dropped off the face of the earth and like just tended to my fish tank and never post it online again.

And that would have been maybe a life view liked it.

Would have been the best fucking life imaginable, like me at fish conventions like selling coral and like rare fish, like that is my fucking dream, like a reptile convention selling lizards, like well.

Literally me in twenty nineteen when I was like so determined to leave the Internet and be at Barista. I've never talked about that online, but when I was like in the rut of my depression, I was like, dude, I can't do this social media, Like I actually can't, Like it's destroying me. And every single day I would wake up and go to the coffee shop I liked and like talk to the barisas and I was like, I'm going to do it, like gonna I'm just gonna work here.

Yeah, I remember, like that was a whole phase. And then we were like, okay, but like what if we opened our own coffee shop, which I still think would be fucking awesome.

Yeah, I've always wanted a coffee shop, but I.

Can't even post some my like in twenty but like hiring people to just do all the work for us, like but like we design it and make sure the coffee tastes good, and like, yeah I did.

I think I liked the idea of like building a space, and I've like always had a love.

For coffee, so I was just like a coffee shop, Like making a coffee shop would be like the best thing I could ever do in my life. No, this was as far back as like twenty eighteen when we first moved here.

Yeah, no, this was like other than like our second tour, Like this is the first thing we were like planning on doing and.

Then it just never happened because we can't even get a fucking investor for a podcast, So I don't know why the fuck so I thought someone would give me money to it.

Actually is insane how people literally don't care about us.

And that's okay because it's a very humbling thing.

Like some people call paparazzi on themselves and like go to Nobu every day even though they like can't even commit to eating like the good fish there, and they go there and they like eat the fucking rice and then leave, which is like why go to a nice sushi restaurant if you're gonna eat like like the fried chicken and like rice or like the steak and rice or whatever.

That's just me.

We should just become villains, Like we should literally become the villain. I'm like, I toy with that idea so often, just becoming the villain of the Internet and really fucking leaning into the role and let everybody just fucking hate me and call me names. But at the end of the day, like I can't. All publicity is good publicity. But I get called ugly once or I get called boring once, and it literally eats me alive for three weeks.

Yeah, I know, the people who like live that life are just like in a different reality.

I genuinely am so impressed by like the worth ethic of like other people in our.

Internship, you know, because genuinely, like does Nikita Dragon have a therapist? Like does she have a therapist? Does she just do the like crazy shit she does then puts her phone down? Like maybe that's what it is, is like these motherfuckers just post crazy shit and then literally put their phone down.

But there's no way because they're also self absorbed.

They have their stream times are all eighteen hours, like it's too like the only time they're off their phone is when they're in the club, and.

Even that they're like with their fucking led like l D ring like selfie cameras, like, ah.

It's just not the life for me.

I'm like, not the for me.

I'm good begging my followers for Patreons up and send down next next to the candle that's gonna burn.

Drew's plushy alive I've been doing. Yeah, he's been frucing up the set for you all.

So that's what I've been doing with this.

Oh my god, when it gets actually cozy, we should cozy. We should like set it up like false out when you get back and like lean into the dude.

The only thing about that is like, also, now we're.

Just talking, and then a Christmas tree right here.

It'd be cute.

The only thing about that is that we have to set this ship up every time we fil Terrible.

Yeah, I know I need That's another thing. We need a Patreon so we can get a fucking studio and a cool set like that.

I know.

Our original plan was like, oh, we're like, oh, trust me.

The second we put on episode, sponsorships are going to be flying.

They're gonna be fighting for their time we got one email and it turns out maybe we're not profitable.

No, we are. Just give us a fucking chance, give me a chance. But no, we decided we're going independent. We're going fully independent. We're funding this ourselves. You're funding this for us.

Oh, I know, love you, love you, love you. Mercury is not in retrograde.

No, it is.

You've got a chemical imbalanced babes, Like, let's talk about it.

No, it is very interesting that every time Mercury is in Mercury's and retrograde, I feel like I don't exist. Like for the past I don't know if you could tell, but for the past four episodes, three episodes, maybe four, I legitimately have not been present.

The last episode I felt like that. But you know what it is like sometimes in life, you just have to really really push that feeling down. You're just like really like there's just this way of despair and like lack of motivation and there's absolutely no lust for life. And you might think, like, you know, I should talk about it, I should figure it out. But then once you get to twenty two, you're like, you know what, this feeling is gonna be here for.

Some time, so you got to just get up and you got to put all your weight on it and push it down and push it down.

To your feet, and by the night time it's rised back up to your head.

But it's too late because you're tired and you're going to bed, so you don't have time to think about it.

Or you get on your iPhone all day on your iPad, watch iPad, iPhone TV.

Have them all blasting yeah at your senses.

At once, Spotify just blasting noise into your ears, and so you literally can't think about these.

There's no time. There is no time. That's a lie. I have a therapist, and it slays.

I have performance anxiety. I think no, because I felt dead before even the podcast. I don't know. We'll figure it out, hopefully I become alive again. I've felt dead ever since the drinking the night where I almost died. So maybe I literally need to go to the doctor and figure that out, because my brain has been foggy since then.

Also, what I will say is you were on a really good run of eating healthy, like not to be that annoying person, but you were having your like this is so annoying.

You're having your like air on meals of like you were eating like kind of I.

Don't want to be that person, but you were eating like for the most part, like predominantly like vegetarian.

But you've been doing that. You've been having like curry, which doesn't have any meaning, but yeah.

You were eating like your meals like twice a day, getting your little.

Bebbies in my bevy. I don't know, well, Viana, we'll see. I'll probably just snap out of it, dude. That's the thing that's such an unhealthy mindset that I have is because when I was like sixteen and like the most depressed I've ever been in my entire life, one day I just woke up and I felt totally fine. And now that I'm like a grown ass man and an adult, I'm like, oh, like, one day I'll just wake up and it'll feel good. But that's just literally not. That's

Life is ebb and flows. Yeah, you will have to do the work. And you know, therapy doesn't fix it, but it makes it easier.

You've been trying to convince me to go to therapy for two years.

I think I tried.

I try to do it because genuinely it has helped me so much, and like I feel like I've seen like very dark places and you've heard me the way I was when I was in those spots, and literally like.

They're a sleigh.

They should start calling it their a slee They're a slay their bay slacology.

I'm going to discover that now.

So yeah, we have to like sleychology report.

Yeah, we have to tie this up because I have a UCLA like zoom meeting about my psychology class.

The toxic or slay cology report is like what they do on you after you have a night of yoahsing. They like review your.

Your bored ye your Y level levels. I need to think of it.

I talked way too many pills last night. I literally can't stop yassing.

I'm I'm trying to.

Think of bacon strips, trying.

To think of one for dope sick. I'm slay sick. So I'm literally so slicick.

That was like the gnarliest era of my life when I would just lay in bed in the morning and not get out of bed and like call you and Josh in my room and be like I'm dope.

Dope, it's fucking fun.

But yeah, I'm allowed to.

I know. I'm like, don't fucking question my jokes about substance abuse because you.

Don't know my fucking life.

You don't know anything about you.

I don't know you.

You Maybe I'll get into that one day.

Subscard to my patron, Fuck you, I hate you, bitch. I'm literal. I know, I'm not kidding.

I am this close to inching back into being a fucking moniacal psychotic bitch.

Fuck you, I.

Hate you, ba, That's what I was saying, Like it would be so fun to be the villain, but like it's just not sustainable, And yeah it's.

Not because that was like I wasn't even doing it to the level like other people were doing it. But that time of my life was the most like turmoil I've ever felt, and it was so unenjoyable because you would get like this rush of rush of adrenaline which would turn into like embarrassment and shame and like self degradtion and like it's just like it's quite the psychle but I guess these motherfuckers are also like too busy being drunk and like fucking silly.

Anyways, I wish, I wish I was sociable. I can't do it. I don't know what happened. I just can't do it anymore. Like literally, the two weeks of hanging out, three weeks of hanging out that we've had has actually, I genuinely think made me feel this way. I think I just need a break from society again. I think I need to go away and lock myself though. Yeah, but I need to. I need to go like a not solo, and I can't go so that. I need

But all that's blame to say because I like was going to big Bear round like shit like that for a minute and it was the sleigh of my life.

Yeah, we're just different.

Like I'm always out and about and like my life is a movie and your life is like a really sad like Edgar Allan Poe poem.

I'm the main character, though, main character syndrome.

Okay, we need to Jesus Christ, please stop giving me your hardest battles. I'm so weak. I can't handle it anymore. No, I just don't want to talk about this real quick.

Oh your shure.

I have secretly been blaming everybody for the loss of this shirt. I blamed my mom. I was like, she stole it from me. I blamed iny in my head. I was like, she stole it from me. It's in the back of her closet, like she has it. I just blamed everyone. I was like, someone stole this show from me. I haven't seen it in months, and I was just I did like a deep cleaning of my closet this morning to find like slacks, and sure enough it was at the very bottom of my pants pile,

I that actually just made me think I had to mooch out to shirt.

But I gave it to Josie because it was like my boobs would take up all the fabric and it did that thing that small shirts do when it flares out and it makes me really uncomfortable.

That's like how this one does. But I kind of like my lower back showing. It's like a reverse crop top.

God gave the biggest tits to his weakest soldier, which is me.

I don't even have that big of boobs.

There are people who look at me him They're like, girl, can you shut up about your boobs? I wish I had your breasts, my beautiful, luscious breasts.

God gives the biggest balls to his strongest soldiers, and that's me.

I have a short butt crack, like because I.

Have no ass, Dude, you can find something to be insecure about, like all the time, Like you literally find a new insecurity like once a week. And I'm like, girl, like, you're a short ass crack. That makes no sense.

If you saw it, you would scream.

I have literally seen your ass before, and it does not make me scream. You have I've got it makes me scream without the yes always got to have one of those zingers in there for the clips for the TikTok clips, right, you.

Jack clip that. But I have gotten so comfortable, literally, like almost everybody I've met has seen me like undressed for the most part.

Oh yeah, and I don't care because my body is not a wonderland. It is literally a vessel that I am fucking stuck inside of.

Your body may be a temple. My body you staring at the place. I don't even know where I was going.

Okay, So Media of the week, Squid Game, Sleigh, Squid Sleigh.

She's so late, Like I saw it first, like he did.

He was the first person I heard talking about it, and he was like, oh.

Like I was like, it kind of sucks, but it's like fucking awesome. It's just like brain Dead. You just watch it and enjoy it. But now that I've like let it marinate, it is really fucking good.

Okay, so it's squid Game for me. Also, oh my god, I was gonna say movie.

I literally was just about I've been watching like The Simpsons, which isn't that interesting.

I think I said that the last episode. And actually I.

Watched Nightmare before Christmas last night because it's that time of the year.

Done.

Oh my god, Like those kind of movies never get boring.

No, they're always good.

I'm never tired of watching those. And then do you want to go for musical first?

Or no, you can go ahead and finish your whole team.

Up.

I want to talk about this album because the like, I'm like, the listeners are going up. But I only say that because I found them when it was at four hundred and now it's like tripled in the past year, and I'm like scared. But I don't want it to be a thing. I don't know why, Like what is in my head that I don't want people to know about music.

I don't know.

Do I just let go of it like since.

Or save it for the Patreon? Oh, if you want our deep deep cuts, deep cuts, go on, because look at this. Look at this album that I made today, this fucking album private. But like the girls one, I heard you.

Listening to like this half of this this morning and this album. Ah, this album and this album literally reminds me so much of like my happiest moments in twenty twenty.

It pisses me, on, have you listened to this album?

No, and they're They're one of the better songs on that.

Album, and also them and also just them being on that album is fucking crazy, dude.

No, that whole like collective album is fucking all of those like cuts that they did together as a collective.

Oh okay, we'll talk about that on the page.

Yeah, if y'all want the real deep cuts, the real good ship, the real stuff we're listening to subscribes on Patreon.

Just don't fucking post it on your story, bitch, fuck you.

Yeah. Literally, I'm about to start privating on my fucking playlist, like I'm sorry, these get girls gate Keep. The girls are finding my playlist and posting all my music from them, And normally I'm like, why gate Keep music, Like I don't give a ship, But now I'm like, but now y'all are posting like the really deep ship from my playlist, and I went through and removed all of them because I'm like, y'all, I'm not kidding.

This is when I heard you listening to that one album, like the one that I'm like, this is my favorite album ever.

When I heard you.

Listening to today, I was like, I went through your plays to see if it was in there, because I got like a shock of panic. If this becomes I'm gonna even though like I don't know why, I like, I have the CD so I don't have to think about like that becoming a thing like I don't know why I gatekeep. I gatekeep because I have such an emotional connection to this music, and I know I don't want other people to be like me because I have an individualism ego and I'm a fucking freak.

And I fucking hate you. Fuck you bitch. Don't post on your fucking story.

Subscribe to our Patreon please. Okay, what is your music?

Well, actually I'll give this one because this is like also one of my favorite songs ever. But it's a cover of a cover of a cover, so whatever. But the chances of you knowing it are like solo because like, I'm just like very cutty and like I like do the research and like I'm different and I might have big tits, but I know a lot about music.

Wait that's possible. Yeah, I know big to go to music?

What big girl like? Don't you catch she don't know nothing else? Didn't want to have to do it.

It's a cover of, like I think, a song by like the Spoonful, but this version, the version and that.

Is the best one, is by cass Elliotts.

That song literally there are certain songs in the world that I don't think I like would ever do it. But certain songs, I'm like, I want to just make a cover of this, like actually like it. Like certain songs make me want to genuinely learn how to fucking play the guitar and like make covers in my room because I'm like, this song is fucking awesome and I

I want to somehow make this about me. Let's make it up us so that is one of my songs.

And then someone's gonna like laugh at me because like this is genuinely the only Wilco song I like care about.

Is like Jesus, is it Jesus Don't Cry or Jesus Easy See? Whatever the fuck it is. That one song is like Jesus Don't Cry. I love that song.

Actually I need to know now, yeah Jesus.

Yeah, that song, like for me is so good. I haven't really been able to get into other Wilco songs because I don't know why. And then an album I'll give is Ambient Volume two, The Plateau of Mirror, Harold Bud, Brian Eno and If you want more like boring shit like that, you have to follow the Patreon.

But that album is like such a good album. Harold Bud is so good.

Rip imagine I grabbed my coffee and like poured one out for him right now, out for that fucking album is so goddamn good if you want to feel like shit and cry and like shit yourself.

Have I talked about this?

I think so, but I would.

I think you've mentioned it lightly once, but I would mention it again for like a good Halloween.

Yeah that's okay. So my movie recommendation this week is House nineteen seventy seven. It's like a Japanese horror that is is just fucking so fun to watch. It super campy and like there are some actually really scary elements that I was like, whoa, Like, how the fuck were they doing this back then? It's really like like a groundbreaking movie and it really is just like super good.

It's literally just visually soap pleased.

Yeah, it's like it's just really really fun. It's not the most scary movie in the world.

But oh, my movie wreck is Mars Attack because that's literally one of the best movies ever and it used to scare with the fuck out of me as a kid.

I love Mars Attacks so good.

And then I'm seeing killer clowns from outer space on Friday.

Ooh, and if you really want to just like freak the fuck out, watch Waking Life. But watch it your own risk, because that'll ruin your whole month. Week. My music is It's Nice to Be a by Vegan. It's a really pretty song, Strawberry by Doss and Daisy by Strawberry Machine, And those are my three songs this week.

That was the episode We sligh every day, my babe in.

Our own way.

You're gay. Thank you guys for watching this episode.

Bye mm hmm