the galaxy gas episode

Looking. Hey guy, I'm talking to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

Guys, this is a special spectacular bed episode, and I want to address how I was wronged today by Nya. I was I was misled and lied to, and two days ago she said, oh, like it would be so cute and cozy, like we can we can do like a bed episode where we're in our pjs. I drove over here in my fucking pjs that are rotten, dilap.

This grown ass man to walk through the lobby of Chateau Marmont and those funky ass fucking glows.

There's a whole guys. Okay, I did dye the armpits black before as a bit, so this is not real. This is a part of the bit. No is it bad? In certain lights? In certain lighting, in super.

Definite yellow lighting, it's gonna look crazy.

Yeah, when it gets dark out, it's gonna it's it's cooked, it's fried. It's over for me. I'm gonna rope Max.

What's that?

Hang myself?

Oh my god? Speaking of that, I spoke to a psychiatrist today like, oh, how.

Did that go? Actually? I mean, we don't have the spill tea on here, but why did I say.

That we don't have to spill tea?

Say that was like Saturday Sunday.

That was that was millennial gay of me to say, let's spill tea. It's like the cremit frog sipping t emoji or like noted, No.

We need to bring that back low key noted was.

That was fire that that died way too quickly?

Oh my god, that was good. And then I can't believe we all used to like use the frog emoji for real, for real, like the face.

Limit frog with it because you and Tea will insert like the emojis on top of the People have to.

Know what we're talking about, because if they don't, then we need to stop this that we're like hold as fuck Because in my head, that's not that long ago. But I guess that was like twenty sixteen. No, that wasn't that long ago.

That was a decade a year old. No, Oh my god, bro.

You know what's fucked up? Is I used to when we first started our tradition of sitting around. No, like, come on, that was like that, it's not even a tradition, it's I adding Kaya is a third as adding Kaya's the walk, sure.

As the polyamorous.

Oh yeah, guys, we have a kaikam for this episode. I don't sert it right here?

Yeah, take it off now?

Yeah?

No, oh he wanted.

I didn't even put it on.

He wanted.

He he had a bit plan. He wanted to sip his Oh yeah, if.

You guys know that, continue the podcast.

He really threw the apple juice in there, so he said what he really threw me off.

We should have put some apple juice in there so it looked like you were having champagne and not room temperature sparkling water.

Yeah, you gave me this warm ass water. I was begging him for some hydration. He gave me this ship actually welcome, like what?

Yeah?

I went and I did the classic thing of like a bit he was too lazy. It's like, oh, is there any water in here? Like you want one of us to get you water? Like wow?

Like no.

I was saying that, and I was like, oh, is there any water? And then I in my head, I was like, if you told me where the water was, I would have like bolted over and gotten it for myself.

You would have and I would like, and you would have tripped on the wires.

And you got the world's smallest room. It's literally close quarters.

And it was all I needed. Me and Oriyan just sat in bed all day and that's what I needed, Like, I didn't need a big room.

I was like, wait, y'all were in girls were in bed together.

We didn't have clothes on and stuff. Ryan's in the corner on her phone silently.

I'm going to take a picture of it where Oriyan is.

You should just get in the cubby hole. That's where you should hang out, so you Ryan has the opposite of a cook chair. She's like hiding.

Hello, l Ron Hubbard, shout out scientology. I'm a big advocate.

What you're an advocate? I don't think they need advocates, all right?

Is that a cult?

That's a cult?

Right, No, it's my religion. And for you to call my religion a cult, I'm actually like offended as fuck. You're my religion, bad religion.

Like the detail you kicking your feet right.

Bad religion? Okay, Well whoa Indian? Indian and I defeated the nuclear family. We are in the process of defeating the nuclear family.

Yeah, we're rewriting the script. Guys. We're going to get married and abuse the tax system like other people.

Do fraud, We're going to commit fraud tax fraud?

Would that be considered fraud?

Like?

Who the fuck says my marriage has to be romantic?

It does? It has to. You can't like people try to fake gay straight vibes for the tax purposes or that used to how they can like legally get married. But I think if we claimed Kai and Joe Saiah as are dependents, then it'd be fine. Then it would be really good and it's.

Like we'd have kids. Wait, I'm still stuck on that. I can't believe that's actually illegal.

Yeah, it's like I think it's tax frun like if we're not actually in love or at least I'm getting my information hold that.

Those married motherfuckers are not in love.

I'm getting my information from that one movie with the Kings of Queen's guy what's his name?

So none of the information you're telling me stature jazz vibe because you're literally talking about a fucking movie.

Yeah no, that's what I'm saying, Like it's it's probably like not real, Like a gay or two straight people getting in love and getting married.

Is not these straight people getting in love like having love together. But yeah, me, and you're gonna get married and defeat nuclear families. You're welcome, honestly, and.

Like we're taking a house together.

Although he take a screenshot right now, because this is the moment everything changes. Take a picture of this moment for the fucking just three books. Can you believe there are going to be things in textbooks that are literally

I'm still not over the fact that when the very first movie had a train in it and everybody ran and jumped out of the way. And now I see like Gooch sweat dripping in backshots on my iPhone and I love it.

Oh, I love it, like Gooch grease stop. Isn't that Azalia Banks thing?

Oh?

Is that actually her brand? Or is it like it's like books? Thank you all right and thank you all right?

Oh you mentioned that reminded me the other day when I was in the bathroom I went to go brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I was watching tiktoks and we have those like old yawning.

Yeah, he doesn't want to sleep last night.

I'm not asking you what you yeah.

Because.

Dude, Okay, I love watching you guys. You know this. I fucking love watching you guys do your art. That Yan had nothing to do with this, all right. I had to do with my crazy night that I had.

So, oh my god, you're scaring me.

I'm having fun you in the corner.

Also, you've been wearing shorts recently, which like something about it. I just have never seen you in shorts, and every time I do, I'm like, oh, I love kay. You have good legs. But it's just like, oh you, oh you're wearing outside you.

Whore three imaging mate aging a maging attribute.

Okay, I'm listening.

He has great legs, thank you. He has a great nose, and he has really good eyebrows and washboard abs.

Funny Drew came in and complimented me so much. He buttered me up before the episode.

Because I have bad news and I'm gonna get to it later. Oh it was when they raise you up so I can tear you down.

For that's something to do with like me getting fired, right or like I.

Don't know as of right now, no, okay, but like potentially in the next like twenty four hours, like you could be.

Maybe in like how long have we been going? Probably in the next like fifty five minutes.

Okay, but that could change. I could win you, guys back in this episode.

Probably you're not winning now.

I could say something really funny.

Try to say something funny, okay, But before I didn't mean that for that evening. I did not. I did not mean that like that.

Okay, yeah, yeah, try that anyway. So oh you're gonna try me funny, you go ahead.

And do that. But it was so real, but I did not mean it for like that, for like that. Okay, So this the whole galaxy gas craze, guys, let's talk about it. What is y'all? Literally like don't know shit about shit? Because I was in hotel rooms when I was sixteen years old doing so much laughing gas, melting my fucking brain and now y'all have flavored in O two laughing gas, Like come on, now, y'all are a bunch of badges. Y'all are a bunch of Dare I say pussies.

A pussy bragging about doing whippets before everybody else is actually.

No, it's it's it's cooked for me now.

I remember, like I didn't know what whippets were because in my neighborhood that was like not a thing. And I've never seen anybody very white. Yeah, it's a super white people thing, which is the galaxy gas craze freaks me out. But whatever, I did not know what the fuck a whipp it was. And we were in a hotel room with all our friends, all of our like white ass friends, and they were like, yes, yes, yes, like you just like suck up this air and like your voice will get all deep and it'll feel like

One another one, thank you, and then like the the most like nasty night of our life, Like I need to I need to make that very clear, like this was dark sided, like this was not fun, It was not cue.

I was gonna bring it back to that because basically I didn't know what it was. But you pulled me aside into the other room and you were like you need to stop, like stop doing that.

And I was like that, yeah, like me already.

I was like that and then he was like no, it's literally that is like proven to kill your brain cells like rapidly, Like imagine your brain in your head right now, all those whips you just did. It's like like of all your brain cells exploding. And I was like, oh my god. And I just went back in the room and I remember they were like, do you want another one? I'm full?

Oh.

I swear that shit has to be one of the most addictive drugs because it lasts only five minutes.

Yeah, so it lasts like thirty seconds. Yeah, that's the craziest part is like really it like it is only like a thirty second to a minute long, like zooted to the max, Like it is literally the highest gales is.

Like sucking the oxygen out of your literally, like just like if there was a balloon with air in it and you just want like this to it and then it fucking explodes.

If I catch any of y'all doing Galaxy guys, it'll be very fucking You're getting blocked and banned. And I do not promote that ship.

It's no, it is so discussing. Also, what's crazy is the second row was like, this is the worst thing you could do for yourself. And mind you, I do plenty of things. I'm like this, bitch, I have a puff bar on my leg right now, but that that was the one line. I was like, I'm not crossing this fucking line. Y'all are crazy. And yeah, Also the train thing that I was gonna, oh fucking touch me, and that literally didn't hurt, So that kids doesn't even hurt me at all.

I know it doesn't hurt at all. Wait, why is my skin so stretchy? Actually waited. Surprisingly, it did not hurt that bad because I'm like a strong man or something like girl and a big strong man.

When I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, I had my phone propped up on the toothbrusholder thing in our bathroom.

It was a TikTok of a picture of Tokyo Tony half her makeup done and half her makeup not done. And Drew came in and was looking down and looked up it and literally goes oh. And then he was actually like bewildered, Like it looked like I flashed.

Banged him because he was just like oh okay, and like turned around. I was like what he was like, I don't know. I just thought that was real. I thought that person was here.

I was like, wait, what and he thought he was like his first instinct as he thought I was on face start with Tokyo.

To like I thought she was on FaceTime with Tokyo Tony one and two, like I physically thought she was in the room with us like that size Like I don't know what connections my brain made, but that bathroom has been like haunted, dark sided, sinister energy recently because the.

Whole fucking apartment there's demons. I feel like one of you, one of our fucking friends, if you see this, one of y'all brought a fucking demon into my house. I need you to come by.

I know exactly which one it was I'm not naming names, but it wasn't you, kay. It wasn't you Okay, and it wasn't you a Ryan. But there is someone who I know for a oh I know whom you know? I'm I know who and like it's also crazy, like we saw like videos of our house when we like first moved in and we looked around and it is scary how yellow the walls have gotten, like how many cracks are our friends?

Like yeah, because all y'all became addicted to puffmar at the same time. That started like kicking on the walls like.

Cigarettes, cigarettes, bro, damn you'rebyey'arbye, you're gay? Oh you're bye? That is literally I thought about going for her. I was Halloween, but that's too esoteric, Like wait, you should be.

Her and I'll be the guy at the table. That would be really good, like duo costume.

We'd have to find like a restaurant with a similar Yeah, that would be iconic.

You are like this cut it the gay monkey.

So I cut it. Oh yeah, the ring a thing? Okay, can you get that?

Did you see that TikTok that? I was like, maybe bouncers are just like the ring It takes in disguis, like.

Like I love that. Have you seen the original video?

Yeah?

Him like at the window, the girl's going there.

He's like literally me watching when I was like fourteen watching Christmas hall videos like come on, like we've seen enough of the beats by Dre.

When I watch a Vogue What's in my bag?

Like come on, I've seen enough of that product, dude.

The Christmas holes. We can't do Christmas holes anymore because a lot of y'all just live on a fucking different kookie planet. Because it used to be even the rich girls you would watch are like I got the like maybe lean baby lip boss. Now y'all are like I got the Hermes bag, yeah, the baby cream.

The maybe leave the bb rexar cream.

But like that's what it used to give. And even as like a broke kid, I would watch it and be like, honestly, that's a good gift. But like I could have gone that if I asked for that. So I was like, this is fun. I actually feel like I'm sharing with a friend and a peer.

Yeah, I know. The the New Age haul videos are like boring, Like I don't want to see how much money your parents have. I want to see how many drugs you're doing, Like, I want to see what your night life looks like. I'm bored.

I can't believe I didn't sneak out as a kid. But also, where the fuck was I gonna go?

Like literally to the bodega up the street.

Hello, No, because that's like the bodega I got asked if I was a virgin at fourteen by like a forty year old man and then the cash randomly. He was right, like, I don't know how you have I told that story like on the podcast, I.

Think I have, like in like the first episode.

Well I'll tell it again. This is y'all are like, oh, why don't you like men? Bitch? Any woman has, any woman has eighteen stories like this, which is crazy, Like, but I went to my dad used to send us to this corner store to go and get get off your phone.

You're at work, I'm writing notes about what Anya's saying. I'm so president right now. You have no idea.

You proved a point.

Anyway. My dad used to be obsessed with trick and fucking Coca Cola, and he would send us to the corner store, me and my older sibling on our bikes and we would go and my older sibling would stay outside with our two bikes, watching them to make sure they didn't get stolen.

I want to be real, No, I want to be Coca Cola.

I want to be a leader. But we have to get a two leader.

We haven't had, like because we never ordered pizza, and I feel like you only get two leaders when you order pizza you're having a.

Or actually no one talks about how like the coke like your family buys is a very tall tale sign of where you stand on the economic.

Did you ever have Shasta? Do you know what Shasta is? Have you ever had the bootleg one? Yeah?

Told me about they didn't have.

That in Miami. Yeah. I figured it wasn't like y'all weren't cool enough for that.

No, yeah, Branbury, Texas, We're really mussn't out.

Shasta was my ship? Oh Ryan, did you have Shasta? Like anywhere we had a.

Brand like that, And I remember like it wasn't Crush, but there was like, oh no, Public's brand soda was a big thing, and then but then there was another brand. Maybe it is Shasta them thinking about because is it like the logo ribbons across the bottle like the can like that.

I'm sorry. I was looking at banana spiders. I love them. Look at that.

Yes, big Red, Big Red is yummy, and.

It would like stain your lips.

Oh, we did have Shasta.

This was like my shit, someone's selling a vintage Shasta orange fucking can for one thousand dollars.

Girls like my balls. Anyway, Basically, I went to the counter store and when I went in to buy the coke, I was standing in line with the cash in my hands, and the man behind me, right before I'm about to like put my thing down, goes like what leans over into my ear and was like, are you a virgin? And then I replied and I said yes, And then he said I can change that, mind you. He was like forty something. He was a grown ass scary man. And what did the cashier do? He fucking laughed at me.

Know how I know that you didn't tell that story yet is because that guy's still alive. I haven't killed him yet. Every man that you've mentioned that has wrong to you me Andrew have murdered him.

You know me, Dexter.

Saying that stuff to me is actually such a big pet people like, obviously, I know you're joking, but I'm thinking about, like I have this friend who literally said something like that to me. But being dead fucking serious, being like, who's asked do I have to be? And I'm like, first of all, take a good look at yourself. You're not winning, that.

You're not competing. Don't compete where you don't.

Compare, because one thing you're not gonna do is go and fight in my honor and get your fucking ass whooped. And now I'm saying there like, do you know what my referencing guys drag race. There's this thing called snatch Games. So all the drag queens dress up like a celebrity that they like, look like her, do a good impression of and one of them did Miley Cyrus during Bangers era and had a hammer with like literally.

Like it's silent. It was like The most silent I've ever.

Heard was the top hat one.

Oh that's cocon That was her talent show though.

Yeah, ladies, that's literally what O'Ryan went to for her birthday celebration.

She posted on I in a Halloween costume, Cocamon trees that would go crazy, that would be good.

Okay, the dress she's wearing that clip. Also, last thing I'll say. It looks like if I poured water on it, it would like melt away. It's made of like cotton, Like I wonder if that was like her.

Like everything isn't made of cotton. I meant cotton balls, like synthetic cotton balls. Don't those melt in water?

Yeah? But no, it's like rice paper like when you put it on, it slowly absorbs it like disperse it.

Did you ever put styrofoam? Oh, this is something fun I used to do. I used to put styrofoam inside of so I would get a big bowl of my mom's nail polish remover, and she would always get so fucking pissed at me because I would leave the cap off and it would evaporate, and I would take styrofoam and I would put it in there. And it would melt.

Well, I didn't do shit like that, but I did get in trouble all the time when I was younger, because we had a lot of wood surfaces in our house, and I would always use acidtone to take off my nail polish and put down on theached wood, and it would get stuck and I would freak out, bitch. A lot of aces were moved, a lot of aces.

Were with a lot of cover ups happened, a.

Lot of place mats got placed, a lot of place.

I'm noticing that the light on Kaikam's like a little harsh, and I'm wondering, like, oh, could we get a soft box or something just to like even it out here.

I'll show you my soft box my butthole, and I'll fart air into your direction and make your hair blowback.

I would enjoy that.

Probably a soft box, put you in it and ship you to somebody who could maybe give a fuck about you. But the problem is, oh, there is nobody to receive the package.

It's going intoms, it's going into the landfill, so it's gonna be in transit for eternity. Guys, guys, guys.

For eternity. Bro I will never get over rain randomly in my back seat one day being like, y'all, I seriously, I don't know if how is real or not, but like the idea of being there for a fucking eternity is freaking me the fuck out. And she was just in the backseat thinking about if she got sent to how she'd be there, because she was like, we have no concept, we have no grasp of what the fuck eternity is. Also, what the fuck is buffalo sauce? Oh what I do? I like, that's something I do.

I don't need to It's probably like buffalo bones or something. No.

I was looking at it today and I was like, this might as well be fucking like oil spill. It's like what made the tumblr like oils like on the ground and making a rainbow. That's what I feel like is in Buffalo.

Guys, I'm changing my name to Mike Hunt. Oh no, I killed like that kill But I don't leave. Okay, good.

My pants are doing the thing where because they're so baggy. When I sit up, it looks like I'm wearing like a cosplay costume but.

Like it's two inches.

Yeah, it's like raising up literally to my ribs right now.

Like you have a boner, I do. I always you guys, so we all know I've been taking an iPhone. I've been I've been hitting or oh oh wow, I've been hitting myself. No, I've been taking a break from my iPhone. Like this is known. I've talked about it for the last like three episodes. Well, yesterday the app that I used What's fucking crazy is it's a free app, but I love it so much and I use it and it changed my life in such a drastic way that I donated to this app. I gave them five dollars.

I was looking at Traveling the World.

I know, literally, I was looking at a Ryan's page, I was looking at India page. I was looking at all my friends pages. I was looking at like other creative people's pages, and I was like, damn, I am so fucking inspired right now, like this is what it's all about, Like this is what the iPhone is all about.

Were in the living room with us more. You spent more time with us.

Oh, that's why it was hell. That's why. That's why it's felt so poor and bad.

Right right? What the fuck was I gonna say? Oh, last night I was in bed and because I'm at a hotel, I was like, I need to watch a crime series on the TV. If y'all know, y'all know that I used to be obsessed with watching like murder mysteries before going to bed, and then I stopped because I felt like it was the worst thing. I was obsessed with watching all that stuff, and I was like, I need to stop. This can't be good for my mental health. Did I see any benefits from not watching it?

Like a lot of the things that are bad for you are ultimately they keep you on your tongue. Yeah, exactly, like Heroin.

Well, well, no, I will say now that when I watch something about murder, I'm actually shocked and I'm like, I cannot believe this happens. When usually I'd be like, oh, okay, that's like not the craziest story I've ever heard, But now I'm like, like, so shell shocked.

Bitch.

Last night couldn't find a fucking crime channel. There was no crime channels on there. But what I did find was one. There is a Draft King's channel where all they do. I passed this channel like four times and I was like, this is the longest commercial ever. Every time I passed this channel, it's still talk about fuck ash Draft Kings. And I'm not saying this in a positive way. I think that shit's fucked up, and it's literally just like incentivizing average people to gamble when they

Thank god gambling is not legal in California, because I would be so addicted to it, Like gambling gives me like the same high that like opiates gave me when I was younger, Like that shit, yeah, like it could become a problem, thankfully, Like I don't like casino gambling like that shit's like boring, like old as fuck, Like it smells like around it just.

Sounds like a fun thing to do for maybe ten minutes exactly, like maybe ten minutes.

You go, you bring one hundred dollars with you in cash, you leave your cards in the car and you just like lose it in five minutes and then you leave.

Well, but even though I'd be like, bruh, i could have gotten three meals off Wingstop.

I've could have gotten one thirteenth of the new leather Mew mew new balanced shoes with that.

Yeah, you could have gotten the toe like the toe section like a little bit.

Yeah. I love tells, bab I love eating feet.

Anyway. The other thing I saw on TV that really fucking freaked me out because I'm taking so long to tell the stupid fucking story is they still do like call to book flights, which my fuck the pet damn they still do that. I need to start that business and skim the fuck out of old people because in my head I was like, I bet they're scamming people, But I do want to call it tonight and like be like, oh, we want a flight from like La to New York round trip for these days, what's the price?

The airline or is it through a different air air coming.

No, it wasn't an airline thing. I'll literally tell you what it was. It felt like I was fucking stuck in nineteen eighty two.

Watch all that shit.

Crazy, But it's low post airlines.

It should be that you get to smoke cigarettes on those flights.

I know, if I'm calling to book my flight, bitch, let me yeah, let me like light up.

There should be no CSA pre nine to eleven TSA and cigarettes onboard and yeah no, mane, I'm not gonna say that joke. I'm crazy, so fucking crazy. Everything at zoo is so fucking lazy A hold up, hold up, hold up, wait what was the verse?

I'm easy, I'm an alien, I'm extra read all about it, read all about eatsy, I'm an eightis stop extra.

Read all about it, you know, like extra extra, extra extra, read all about it, read all about it like the newspaper boys, the extra extra.

I think that was like a late night old channel that would talk.

About like Mario Lopez, like tested it extra extra Lopez.

Bro, he is alive right now, God bless, He's like alive and well and breathing.

Out of a person who did it fucking right, grinded through his thirties, grind through his thirties period through his forties, and then dropped off the face of the fucking word earth. I don't know if it was.

I think he's still like doing that kind of stuff.

Honestly, chase a bag and chase the bag.

WHOA Well, I never ended up finding something that was a crime thing to watch on the TV. And I started this YouTube.

Video, bitch, I had scared the fuck out of me, like I've never been watching a YouTube video and started and being like falling asleep and then just wake up and open my eyes and be like, oh my God, like actually was scared the fuck out of me.

In you stop, I was gonna bring this fucking up. This is what I was talking about on the phone with you and our manager when I was back in Texas, when I was like, I have a crazy story that like if I broke it would solidify me in the internet zeitgeist forever, and everybody was like, nah, don't do it, don't do it, And I was like, yeah, you're right, I don't want to get involved in this ship. Look how many fucking views that shit has.

Yeah, but then you would have the killer on my back too.

I don't want to know why. I am y'all the Schoolboy nine, which literally I'm not gonna like spoil it, okay, but literally, like two months ago, I remember.

When you mentioned this. I was like, girl, you sound fucking crazy. You need to get off that damn phone.

I found what, Okay, literally you did. I found his accounts with like twelve likes and like no one had ever. I was even sending them to you Kai like that like creepy guy, and you were like, can you please stop? Like this is really scary, and so I stopped. But literally I found him like so long ago, and I was like, this is crazy, like no one is talking about this shit. And then it's all that my TikTok feed has been the last week.

It's really spooky uky, but this video like this was giving me fucking spooky kid.

This like creepy accounts pretending and I was.

Like oh, and then when they started showing me what he was posting, I got I'm not kidding. This room was so pitch dark O'Ryan was dead asleep, and I kept looking at the dark cause.

I was like, no, ya, that's what I was saying, Like that gives me like like it gives me the same feeling that I get when I see like demonic presences in a movie like I don't. I never watched

So gross, it's like disgusting. There's halfway in the video like that, I know it's like very terrifying. And there it feels like there's no winning too because we.

Find out it's Kai.

Like that. Let me see it again.

It kind of looks like yourself.

No it doesn't there, let me see it one more time and then I'll tell you what it has, like really high cheap bones and like very sucked.

In PSL seven So it's chad light. Okay, the p s L six is above average. That is so kind. That is actually so Kai vibes. Okay, we are so back and better. So many cuts this episode. Oh wow, okay, so speed Run. The animation that some made of the

I have the gnarliest migraine right now. And it's like it kind of started when Kai like first got here and started like talking, and then I like this smell, Like the more he talked, this smell started filling the room, and I think it's just like, yeah.

You do you smell that? And licked his lips. Gonna are you talking about turn me on a little bit?

Like you whispered.

That by Kai. I got rised up by Livy Dunn.

It might have been a coincidence. I feel like there's no reason why me talking would make you have a headache.

Like, that's sure because the stench that followed it falls.

Okay, well we established that that's the buffalo sauce in the bathroom.

No, that's you.

That's that's just what you smell. Dude.

If y'all ever wanted to know what Kai smells like, smells like, you just have to like get buffalo wings and then put them in like a fridge.

A lot of.

What's it called? What's it called?

Was?

Oh yeah, if you want to know what Kai smells like, get buffalo wings, put them in like a fridge, and then just open the fridge really fast, so all of that like stench wafts out at you, and that is I'm not kidding, that is exactly what Ky smells like.

Oh but here's the thing.

People with a little bit of mildew, people.

Actually will get wings. They'll get buffalo wings, and their mouth will water because it smells so fucking good and delicious. Think about that. You're seeing people's mouths water when they see.

No, I think when it comes from a human, it's like juice when I my fucking pussy is wet when I see Kai.

Did you mean that that I had nice legs?

Of course?

Thank you?

Body is tea lately.

Okay, so keep it up because it can fake.

But y'all, you guys gotta fucking chill, like y'all.

Really actually like okay, y'all, No, literally, they got a chill because they are in my fucking business email messaging me diagnosing me with autism and with a hernia.

I don't know what I literally, I don't know what I did in the last episode. But I got like three emails saying I had autism and one that said I had a hernia. But the hernia one was a miss, like they didn't understand what I was saying, Like, I know what hernia is. I had a hernia when I was like nine. This is just when my colon gets full of poop and constipation. It bulges out a little bit, But it's not like the bubble that you think of when you see like hernia in the abdomen.

That is so disgusting.

But I did book as ocdoc appointment because I was like, what if I've just had a hernia this whole time? Haven't been yet, but we will up there.

Wait wait wait wait wait, wait the picture the picture of Okay.

It's actually perfect that Oriyan is here because Orian come here. Okay, so In and I were sitting on the couch and we were trying to find your John Lennon photos.

She found it. She has it.

Oh okay, so oh all my shit got deleted because I have eight hundred Yeah.

What I was looking. I didn't know which one.

Dude, it's like literally the greatest photo of all time. We'll spare you or Ryan, we won't post it and unless you want us to, really, I probably my story.

No, I don't know if I've ever seen it online.

Like well, I got all of the karma just like thrust it right back at me Oryan because I had my John Lennon moment in a Mark Jacob, Shoot, I need to.

Bro.

It's like it's straight up like.

A wait, is that actually a photo of true?

I don't know what's worse is it's a live photo, so like you can't really see that it's him.

Fuck hello, Oh it's a screenshot of a fucking life photo. All my poem.

The picture of you in.

The back of the car.

Stop, that's what we were referencing like this like siblings.

That version of it's so gross. I hate it.

This ship.

I just also the red lighting, Like me Andrew just need to avoid fucking red lighting because we start looking fucked up. I thought red lighting like objectively makes somebody look harder.

Improving points, improving points, brou it.

Looks like day was that like it was in February.

Yeah, it was when we did the Mark shoot. But that find that literally that photo change in trajectory of my life. And I'm not kidding. I started like it like it sent me into an episode. Like literally, I was like, is this actually what my profile looks like? And it was just like very bad timing obviously, because I don't look like that. You are perfect.

No, Sometimes when I look at you, that's kind of just you are perfect. Okay, No, sometimes when I see Drew, that is what he looks like. Though, I'm gonna be.

Honest, okays, backseat photo.

You don't you always look good? I feel like your jaw is very defined.

Thank you, okay, r and I just wanted to show you that iconic moment. Yeah, o, Ryan literally has been inside the cupboard the whole time. Sorry, what'd you say again? Guy?

Your jaw looks super good normally.

Thank you? Wait, actually, could you say it one more time?

Your jaw looks good and it looks very handsome.

It's actually so random that I cannot hear you repeat yourself.

Oh he's manipulating me.

Yes, he's manipulating you. Pictures you just look like scary. Oh wow, Like that's just not you.

I really don't know who that person is. Like, it's really jarring. It's really jarring. And what's crazier is that like they thought I looked good.

No, you did look good and all in the pictures that we got taken of us, you looked good.

No, the person our manager thought I looked good.

My bangs look fucked up. It looks like I have like a huge like mullet.

The bangs were banging. Okay, wow, well okay.

Well.

Also, I know this has been talked about one but jillion times online, but I figured we would need to talk about it as well, because it is a very a very crazy thing that exists that I don't think enough people are talking about. There is literally a tick out right now that when it bites you, literally when it bites you, it makes you allergic to me.

I don't know if that's real.

I don't know if I believe that real. It's it is literally real, you're supposed to say.

Oh, you need to get a bit by that, my good sis.

Wait, why because you are gay? Because I like me? Wow, I told it yesterday. I was like, when I bring this up, you're supposed to say, oh, you need that tick, like I set her up for a slam dunk like gay joke and she fumbled.

Like well, because I was just actually intrigued in the conversation, Like when you speak to me, I'm just like yes, yes, yes, like I'm here present.

Wait, that was weird. We're like wapping up right now we need to like hold each other. Yeah, that's more. That's more like it's a.

Bit unnatural, Like this just seems unnatural right now.

Oh, Drew is Elijah. You're Elijah from Girls. They're just connected seeing you guys do that and how like clearly uncomfortable you are touching a woman's hand.

Oh you know that we could fire you for being homophobic.

Right yeah, no, I'm reporting you to HR which is me and you're done.

I hate to say it, but our HR rep has a huge bias against you.

Oh okay, well, all right, was kind of observing something. It wasn't homophobic at all. I actually love gay people. You fucking know that. Everyone knows that. That's a well known that because because you love me, you were friends. We're good friends.

Did you ever see that time?

Okay, well that was like a sneak disci Sokay, So shady Shade is Saturday Sunday. People with eye issues do before glasses were invented get.

A headache, Like, oh, that's why I have a headache right now. I had to wear my glasses all fucking day.

No, but actually, like did they like just were they blind or did they not exist until like there were holes in the ozone layer or.

The glasses before we had phones.

It's that damn phone. It's always that damn phone.

Bro Okay, I need to clarify. I obviously don't think that's true because sometimes I really do sound like the dumbest person on this podcast, and recently it's been getting to my head.

There's only two of us, so if you're not the dumbest, that makes me the dumbest.

No, there's car there's a third third. Thank you. Wow, you know.

What you're fucking stupid.

To which in your favor of that statement of like, oh well, maybe people's eyes were better in the past, there's I think a lot of evidence that people's teeth were better. Yeah, yeah, so maybe there, I don't know, maybe there's something to that, like we're unnaturally looking.

I could see like there being a connection between how much fucking led we stare at and our I mean, look at sucking the blu ray lights, like the blue ray lights.

Okay, well when Inya like there, there's like always like when we're going out, there's like an hour long period photo. Bro, it's like really haunted, like it's a han.

You got bodied. It also looks like you have no hair, like I know, in the middle of the top of your head, just like.

No, it's like literally it's my back seat. And also the way I'm staring at have like beady little eyes like look like like scary. I look like I have like a big like nose like it my jaw is recessed. Like it's really like everything that I hate about myself and what I see in the mirror.

Never ever look like this.

Yeah ever, thank you. But India does look like Enya does look like the backseat photo like that.

Yeah, most of the time people turn to me and that's what I look like.

Even thinking about that fucking photo makes me cry laughing. That's so bad. Okay, But there comes a night or point and every night when we go out where Enya ask me like what does she want or which outfit should she wear? And like, I don't think you realize how seriously I take that, Like that has become like Anna windsor like I'm living Yeah that's the girl. Yeah, I take that shit very seriously. And I don't think I've made a wrong choice yet.

Yeah, I don't think so. I feel like you give really good advice, like you give practical You take into like account the practicability, the vibe of it, the look of it, how it will hold through the night, Like you're like, well, are you just gonna be doing this or are you gonna do something after? Like what's your vibe?

I'm always thinking about if cigarettes are involved, like getting it's going to like geat all.

Over my clothing. Yeah, but I don't smoke cigarettes anymore, so that's not a problem. And now at this point, when somebody smokes near me, I'm like, girl, like, you're gonna make me fucking stink, which is crazy because I used to stink. Yeah, now I just smell like uh digital.

Yeah, okay. The last thing I want to bring up is finally me and Indya, I downloaded this app that scans your face and then gives you like a rating out of ten guys. I did so good on it.

He did so many, like he has so many.

Oh wait, Kai, this is what I was gonna show you. Come here.

I just saw a picture of like you shirtless, and that was like the craziest thing I've ever seen.

Oh that's just me body checking. Oh shit, yeah, this is what I wasn't Yeah, this is what I was gonna Yeah, it's definitely because it was blurry and the lighting was crazy. But no, I was gonna send that to you, but I was like, I want to show him in person.

You should start uploading like, uh face tuned pictures of you shirtless and like huge like that.

Well, no, I'm gonna go on a testosterone like tremblone, like TRT protocol, yeah, or like do some just some general anabolic steroids for six months. I'm gonna blast it like I'm gonna go hardest.

Fuck, I love yourself.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

Now.

I'm gonna get big as fuck, and then y'all gonna be like whoa Drew, just like really angry and mean because you mad. No, it just makes you your real self.

Wait, was that the thing you're gonna tell me earlier you said there's horrible news. No, I'm not saying that.

You said my body is like well no, no.

I did not mean it like that. I genuinely know we're gonna tell.

You're fired at like in een fifteen.

But I still have my job.

Right now for the next thirteen minutes.

Yes, okay, okay, so the first one and I still get it back.

I could still get it.

No, the first one I did, I got a seven point six and I was like, Okay, that seems like really high. That doesn't make sense. So then I edited a picture of myself with face tune and I submitted it. It got a nine point six, and I was like, oh wait, it's kind of accurate. So then Josh did it and got a seven point six, and then Enya did it and got like a seven point something and I was like damn. So then I was like hold on, like, let me.

I think it can only really identify you like masculine as a man, because every time it'd be like masculinity, your jawline, like you're the top one percent of men. I'm not a man. I'm a girl.

You're not a girl, bitch. And then I did it and I got an eight point four and I was like, oh, whoa, Like dad's crazy. And then y'all, I ended it off with a nine point three on a real photo of my own that he took it. I don't have it. I took it real time and app but like I'm kind of giving though.

Okay, I think I need to take an advil because or I need to put my glasses on because I'm not kidding.

My think and I'm dancing for funo babe. Oh that echo was like sharp. It sounded like we hit metal.

I shouldn't be doing next to my fucking head, Drew syop corner. These don't make me laugh. I'm hitting you tonight.

Burger King got chicken sandwiches? Now, what's next? He at the poop store? Okay, folklore evermore canker sore, bitch. I don't give a fuck. Where is the liquor store?

Dude?

These woes sucking like the best way.

I need some kouchi quill and head and all from in y'all in y'all, y'all. Wait, Kay sent this to me, imagine and he types this is this is is.

The word this out? Someone emailed this to.

Me, imagine hiring a gay dude to cry at your off's funeral.

Oh my god, I love that when I saw that today, taking notes seem.

An emoji literally noted as fun guys, can we bring back noted please? Like please? Can we do it? And I think that's all I have to talk about. Yeah, that's kind of the last thing that I was, like I already talked about this though, was how me buying the TikTok shop hot bowl was like really one of the worst points in my life. Like that was really dark, So I did.

Dude, it definitely has to be illegal to like chip containers like that out.

Yeah, like raw eggs or like eggs across the country and like.

Heat boiled eggs.

Bro the fucking PEPSI like expanding to the point of almost exploding was like crazy that like it was next to an egg, so that means it was like so hot that it was like boiling, or like the pressure was so high that it was like crushing it crazy.

All right, Well, here is my freaking media.

My media is that little ginger bitch.

In my life, gaborsable photographs and memories, Jim Cross. How do you say his name? Ryan Bro? She can't hear us in the fucking cabinet. She's losing oxygen in there. How do you say? Jim Kross? Is is it? Jim Kroschroche okay photographs, some memories Jim Krosche, and just a New York poem by Nikki Giovanni. That album reminds me of Rain like this is feels like her life. And that's it for my fucking media, honestly, No movies, no nothing, leave me alone.

My media is Twisters and forty X it's gonna be a movie. I'm going to see it tomorrow, super excited. And then this. I found this like anime that was like a three part like short trilogy, but like together, it made like one long story. It's kind of like Black Mirror Vibes like, but it was made in the nineties and it was so fucking good. Oh I can't open it, but I'm just gonnaunlock that. But it's like Magnetic Rose or some shit like that. Let's see if I can find it.

It's gonna make tragnetic rose toys. You put the magnet in your coach.

Oh do so, no hands. That's actually a really good idea. But there's a song from that. How would you say that? From that anime? Corral or Corral c h O R A by Yoko Cano. But the soundtrack for the thing, the thing is called Memories, So go watch Memories and the soundtrack is fucking lit.

Probably sounds like ship exactly what I thought, sounds like shit. You could listen. Listen. You could listen to this kind of ship all you want.

I love this.

God will know you had grinder.

I love this type of stuff. True.

Hey come here, you'rebye. Al right, Well I'm gonna go take a huge fucking dump.

And I'm gonna go back home. No, You're gonna hang and love my life.

Please stay night with me, alright, alry

M