Starting A Cult

Welcome back to this episode. Oh, welcome back to Emergency in a com Yay, we have a new episode.

Yeah no, did you get insecure because of the whole.

Like, welcome back to this episode.

Sorry, I just went deathly silent because I saw myself in the viewfinder and I thought about how one time, last time I had my bangs this short someone said I looked like little Mikayla, and I'm not kidding. I looked into the viewfinder and I thought I saw little.

Mikayla and it was me Android Robot.

Well, there's a lot to unpack this episode.

Yeah, it's my super Sweet sixteen.

We were supposed to.

Get decorations, but I never actually hit like perch on my Amazon cart.

So I just have an Amazon cart full of Sweet sixteen.

Yeah.

So I'm turning sixteen. It's a very special special year for me. I'm gonna get my license.

I've had my permit for like sixty year drives lies since.

This week, I drive in past your buleved.

Go into the store for coffee.

This ship feels weird right now.

Do you feel good because you have a weird hair cut?

It's because, okay, your friends, I bought you wanted a little bit of a die and cut.

They fucked my ship up. This is the last time I'm going to Great clipes.

I feeling beautiful. You know.

All the yell reviewers were like, oh my god, this is where I went to go get my bleached hair. But I bleached my brows here, Like it seemed like Great clips had stepped.

It's kucci up.

My fucking hair is falling out of my school. It's actively falling out of my school.

Also, the thing, the other thing I was saying that was a big thing to unpack was.

That it's my birthday. That's the big thing to unpack. We haven't even gone into it.

I was gonna say, I made you a fucking birthday parody, bitch.

It's not.

It's not about your birthday.

But I know how you like you're like singing and like replacing words, so you know, like I am well man. The way I had to write this down because this was Drew. No I am Sli, I am I am Boods.

I am now.

I am Drew.

I wrote that.

Damn you couldn't remember that, so you had to write it down because it's not.

Funny when you put it in like different orders and it was like I am sir, I am the hot house. Like it was like too much, like I didn't want to bunch it and.

Like, no, thank you for that gift. That was actually really nice.

That's my only gift we had.

Of drud Drew Oji, the the drewth.

Mario Drudy Mario party.

That shit sucked. That was a fly.

There was there was one that we said the.

Other day that was Mala Drew.

No, you said that, and that's not good for Malibu Maladru.

We call Malibei Malibey.

I call Malibey MALABEI well, we call.

Malibu Malabey, I said, we call Malibey Malabe.

That's what it is. That's what it is. And then there's Maladrew Malibu Drew. No, it's not good Drew Moji dropping soon.

You keep saying that, but there's only one fucking Drew moji that I told you yesterday. I was like, dude, you have to make one that's like sad or something, because it's not.

Even giving like versay like.

Yeah, you have to get you have to switch that mouth up, just that saint mouth.

Like when when like moms lose their kids on Facebook they used the crying laughing emoji. They could use the crying Drew emoji. Actually, yeah, all the time. They think it's like people crying, but it's like they don't realize that they're laughing at their Oh.

Like the like open mouthed tier one.

Yeah, Drew moji, the Drew moji one.

No, no, no, no, there's two crying emojis.

No, the one that you use and ironically now is the one.

Oh are you trying to call me out because I unironically use emojis?

I do. I don't care. That's why Apple bade them.

Sorry, ironic use emojis too, But that one is the only one that's off limits, and it will forever be off limits to me. It's all. It's just shroud. It has so much irony behind it that it's just not real.

No, the the like two tear drop ones. That one's like, actually, that's a lie.

I use that one too.

I use all the fucking emojis, like, yeah, I use the laughing, I use the laughing.

Crying, like all of them are real. This is real fucking life. Get used to it.

But yeah, anyways, Drew moji dropping very soon. It's my fucking birthday.

Come on, class starts a Kickstarter and like nothing ever happens the class for my birthday.

It's my dad's birthday tomorrow.

Everybody, sorry, I'm so mad you didn't go to Monster Truck. That was something we did this week that was so fucking fun.

It was actually legitimately the most fun I've had in four years of my life. And that's not me like saying that to make people jealous. It genuinely like was awoken something inside of me, and I want to drive monster trucks now, I know.

I want to be stopped in and like get a like brek my neck.

Well, you know what's fucked up? As I went on ig and followed Monster Jam, I followed Zombie the Driver, I followed literally everybody and the original like one of the original drivers has his own show. That's more like like it's not like made for kids, it's made for adults. And you go get fucked up and you can get inside the monster trucks and shit, but it's in like South Carolina or some shit.

We're fucking going yeah, like are you kidding me up?

There needs to be a documentary on like what happens behind the scenes of these traveling I know it's because I know they're cheating on each other's wives. Like I know.

We literally watched one of the trucks like lift up onto another truck and I.

Was like, that's an hr final.

Yeah, it was.

A man truck on a girl truck. Get off of her.

Now, what's her soldier fortunes, soldier fortune, soldier fortune?

She know she was serving. She literally almost passed.

He caught on fire, like almost exploded.

Her truck flipped over and caught on fire. She literally just walked out like a champ.

Yeah, she took it like that girl power. That girl power. I will not back down from that. That is real.

That's what you define as girl power is someone almost dying in a monster truck.

Yes, in the face of it, and then the things of adversary, she stood tall. She's slid slave, We've created monsters. What do you mean I was my sister? Since I'm off TikTok, I don't know if I've told you guys, but I'm like off TikTok, Like.

I was the first one off TikTok, and this motherfucker mentioned it every episode.

I've been off TikTok for almost like two months.

Now, I don't use that ship anymore. It's like bunk or whatever, like no big deal. Actually I'm like addicted to it, and like anytime someone sends me a TikTok, I opened it immediately and I have to like hover my f I'm like shaking about the redownload the app and I'm like no, no, no, no no, I can't do it. Also, I just don't have enough fucking storage on my phone to do it. But I saw this TikTok of someone.

So did we ever explain that?

I think we've talked about it a couple of times, But for anybody.

Who doesn't know.

Literally, the reason we started saying we were cousins is because we started lying that we were dating because it would obviously like get us views and like everybody wanted us to date. So we just started lying and saying we were dating, and we would do like, boyfriend.

Does my bake up?

But we did BF so we could be like, well, no, it was best friend.

Like y'all, y'all, are you're reading between the lines right now?

You're making an ass out of yourself the first.

Alighting people from the beginning, like you are being a psychopath.

The first three letters of assume spell what that's what you're making of yourself if you assume things about people's.

Characters, I'm gonna shape.

Your head and bear asking bear asking why is again there's something there.

But then we were like, dude, there's no way to like we would just start backing up and be like, we're not dating, we're not dating, but people still thought we were dating.

So then one day we were just like, we're literally cousins, how could we be fucking dating?

And then we continued to lie about dating and getting married.

Yeah, and then we were just yeah, I think what really like turned the page of the cousins getting married. Thing was the cousin's proposal on the beach, but it's legal where I'm from. Is so funny and all of the comment it reached outside my audience, and all of the comments were like this is like really weird, and like why are y'all all hyping this up? Like we've created months? Or is I love it? Like, oh, speaking.

People, we're gonna say cold?

Is that where you're I wasn't. I was going to transition to colt after after this conversation. But where's my death hoax? Why haven't I had death hoaks?

Wait? You know you have? Did you not get one during bying Arrow?

It wasn't No, I didn't have you.

Oh you weren't popping like that.

All the popular girls got the death hawks when they were in high school.

I needed the I need a death hoax now. I need like to see how people would react over my death.

I needed to know you know, you're only saying this because you got them tiny taste of one and you like love it.

Yeah I was. I was like, oh, this is interesting, Like people are like, oh my god, gon so soon like I used to. I used to watch his videos all the time, like used to bitch you should be actively Well.

Now they'll go back and if you know what the good thing about your death hooks is, it'll like, uh, generate more abuse for you right now, and then you get to come back and be like, I'm not dead, You're all amazing. I that was such an era in like twenty fourteen when you would get like.

Oh I started, I started death hooks, like I was the one actively starting death hooks like that Lisa and Lena girl, yeah, those twins. Like I started a really gnarly death death about that when I was like fourteen and people were like this is not fucking funny, Like I actually thought they were dead, and I was like, oh my god, even know this is gonna blow out of control because I thought it was just gonna like stay it within the audience and like it was just

I remember, I like wanted a death hoax. And then one time someone tweeted me, like just someone randomly tweeted at me and was like missing you so much today, rip and you're like something like that, and I thought that she.

Was so funny, so I started retweeting it.

I was like, this is Enya's mom, Like you were just tapped in. I was like, oh my god, I'm about I would actively do that same shit. I would act like I was my mom. I would post on my IG and be like, Drew is taken to it?

You do that still?

Yeah, my IG post that went up to day is about me being dead on my birthday.

You just you know what it is like, I want I want a death hoax, and I wanted to go so far that people are like, no, she's not dead.

I think she moved to an island.

Like you remember that hair where everyone was convinced is literally so lovely. So is Michael Jackson. They're drinking fucking beer together on the Bahamas.

On the Bahamas, why would you be on them?

Well, I mean technically you are literally on them. When you're not on you are on the soil of the Bahamas.

Your hair looks fucking awful.

Oh see, now you have to attack my appearance. If I can't fix it.

Real, real firm, we'll just tell you. And I'm just telling you.

But if I can't fix it in five minutes, what's the point in telling me?

Oh, you can fix it in five minutes. There's a pair of fucking cheers in the bathroom.

Should we cut my hair live?

Shave your head?

Should cut my hair live?

Just like she missed a she missed a string, she left the string she left the string.

Of long hair didn't die.

The what the hell.

Drew felt? You know what? Drew felt like he needed to change his because everybody kept accusing him of being a cult leader. Literally, and you know what, he's not the cult leader.

Actually. You know what's crazy is we had this conversation me and and you know, we're having this active argument in the car where I was like, no, I would be a cult leader like you don't. I wouldn't not lie.

This is a genuine conversation we had in the car together.

It was borderline argument, and I was like, no, I would be the cult leader. I would not be a follower like I would never follow a cult. I'm too smart for that shit to fall for it. I would be the one actively tricking people into believing that I am Jesus Christ, because I mean, Kai thinks I am.

No, he doesn't, No, he doesn't.

What makes you think that I think that you're Jesus Christ?

You just love me, dur That's just like what friends do.

They just like love each other.

I just yeah, I do nice things for you because you're my friend, not because I think that you're Jesus Christ.

Well they think I'm Jesus Christ. Everybody in the comments. Let him know because it's been.

It's been.

Drew's been giving Jesus Christ recently. Even you said it, like yesterday I did.

I'm going to send it to guy.

I took a picture of him and he literally looks like Jesus. It's like in Malibu and he's like looking off because.

It's phrased, but it's literally.

Drew would literally be Drew would be integrated into a cult because someone would just lie to him and be like Dude, like we like really want to call, but we like need a leader, and like Drew would be like, oh my God, yes, please please, and like before Drew knows it, he would just be in the cult. Like he would enter thinking he was about to lead it, and I bet he would come to my room and be like, dude, this is so crazy, but I just got like the opportunity.

Of a lifetime and like like that's the guy that's always true.

It literally happened to me yesterday. I got an email yesterday and when I was on the phone with Kay and it was like, kai, wait, like I know you're like spilling your life story to me right now, but let me tell you about this opportunity I just got. And it was like someone wants to fly me and a companion out to Istanbul to get hair transplant surgery. And they were like, I literally love you so much in your content, like it's like the best doctor in

You can't fix that thing.

Where is it this one?

No, it's just leave its it's good, it looks good, it looks good.

Should I snip it off? I should snip it off?

No, you shouldn't. You should just leave that.

But yeah, literally actively getting trafficked.

Like you fully would get dr do you walk into Airwon and you see any bottle and all the bottles you pick up an Airwon look like cold, like cold.

Ears made them, and you're like you immediately believe them.

Like you would be integrated into so fast, we're gonna get a defamation email and from this guy being like I do not want at all, Like does that not look like some shit?

Like they're back in your head?

But what they just I said they fucked me up. I said they fucked me up. I can't fix it.

It's okay, it'll go back here.

It grows back.

Vitamin real Green and it has an eagle on top of a mountain with a bursting sun. It's literally insane.

And it says perfect companion to earth broth, nourishing, foundational hardcore.

But this is how I would start my cult. I would do with someone else's product. No, with my own product. Oh yeah, just like Drew Moji's coming out. It was Drew Moji and there was like Vitamin Drew or something that's a miss Vita Drew Vitamin. I don't know, there's something there, there's something there.

You're literally reaching for thin air. There's nothing.

There were so many like of the just.

There were a lot of drus.

But like now we're like on camera and it's a little more difficult Okay, I knew I need to think of one before we move on.

What about Jewish? Like Jewish?

That's really fucking offenses.

Sorry he's allowed to, but like forget I said anything.

I have to ship so bad right now. It's actually like insane, Jude, is that I don't know?

I don't know, k I do another one? Do another one? I feel like you have another one?

Dum Like oh my god, k Like you can't just like like change like religious words.

Well, no, that's my cult.

Ah, that's what it is.

See, Kay's all of guys down with the cult.

So your cult name is just like a different name for Judaism.

Dr Judaism is pretty good.

That's getting.

Dude, you looked on.

Have I told him that I've been playing Fortnite? Yeah, I talked about that.

That's all you fucking talk about. It's literally all he talks about.

Okay, Well, have I told him that I'm actually fucking cracked and I'm turned the fuck up at Fortes?

No?

Have I told them that Drew literally was a fucking ten year old the other day and I woke up and he found a bag of gummies that Finn left in the house and at like eleven am ate. All of them had an insane Sugarade was playing Fortnite and screaming at his computer like, ah, like screaming at his computer. I have a video I'm gonna said to Kai.

I swear to fuck okay, did you see me? Just shit on those fucking children.

And then we went to go get like late lunch with Zamar and Mason, and on the way there, he was fully dead, in the worst.

Mood ever, and he was like, I don't know why I feel like this.

I think I'm just hungry, but like I usually I like intermittent fast like this all the time, so I don't know why I feel like this. And I was like, bro, all you had was probably like three hundred grams of sugar today.

It was literally the worst gummies ever. They were really fucking good, and I couldn't start. It was the first time that like I've experienced in a very long time, like the lack of self control, because Norman that can eat like one or two gummies and be good, but I took them.

He was literally because you were.

Like fucking claw in there and fucking playing Fortnite and screaming out his computer.

And then I went to go grab a gummy and the bag was belligerently empty.

It was crazy, and it was all like the good flavors left for some reason, like it was only ate lemon. It was so fucked up it was. It was uh jolly rancher gummies. If you ever want to try them, don't because they're not paying us yet. They're not paying us yet, so do not buy it yet. Not yet. But if they come through and support us with a sponsorship, I'll let you know in to buy it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah, that's Drew's life. Also, I love from the very beginning on this podcast, I've been like Drew goes into this room and plays on his fucking computer all fucking day, and he always tries to debunk it out of like insecurity.

He's like, I don't do that. I do other stuff on that computer. But if he's not playing Fortnite or Call of Drudy for like.

A hour, come Drew Knight, Drew Knight and Call of Dudy Drew. But if I'm not doing that, like.

He's watching the worst videos on YouTube, Like I watched you Maneuver You're recommended and it was insane.

You don't want to know what I watched?

Clicks to the middle like watch us for two seconds, goes back, refreshes and does it again.

Do you want to know what I watched last night?

What?

An hour and forty five minute documentary on alpine lakes. And I'm not joking, that's that's.

It was?

It just made by a guy though, No, it was like a proper documentary.

Okay, No, I can't.

I can't, Like, I really can't bag on you because you want to know what I fell asleep watching last night? And it was really whack of me. It was also an hour long video, but it was restoration of a vintage electric oven.

Those and it's silent, there's no commentary, and they're cleaning off all the rust and unscrewing, like cleaning the springs.

Amr asmr wing bot.

That's toes curling. Okay, the wing makes the turtles curls curl M.

The maker.

I never replied to the email because I'm dumb, but like the maker of my wingbot reached out and I don't know how they knew someone else out there looked at that little thing and called the wingbot because I've never said.

The make or the brand or the model and like Wingbot heard, Wingbot heard, and she respont. Wingbot was the first responder.

Wow, no, wing Bo, the crisis. That is Ya's Cooter Bronson.

Yeah, she literally his first responder. It costs five thousand dollars for her to pick you up, literally.

Cooter Bronson. God put her whole pussy into Cilantro. That's all I have to say.

Drew said that yesterday about a sunset, and I said nothing to him yesterday.

Aboulabu, you were like, God put her whole pussy into this one.

It's really fucked up. It ruins the vibe.

Me and Sabrina We're having such a sweet, wholesome moment and like she was like it was just so sweet. She was like, dude, this is just like such a nice view. Like it was just a sweet moment. We were like holding each other and like looking off and from the back of the eye just here, and it's Drew looking at a video of himself, screaming.

Like here, I'll play I'll play the audio. You aren't getting the video. Hold on, where's the audio? Where it's it?

Literally was beautiful, it was silent.

Oh wait, no, this isn't it. Where is the zombie donut.

O my god, saying that with no visual context. Where's the zombie donut?

Where is the one that I'm looking for? You know, what's what I'm talking about? What the fuck?

Oh?

That was the sound?

And me, it's a braina just like a me looked back and he just was like, sorry, well, I didn't.

Mean to do it. I didn't not mean to do it.

He didn't not mean to do it.

I did not mean to do it. But yeah, it was. It was a really beautiful moment Malibu yesterday was the nicest I've ever experienced at what.

The sound that.

I was literate?

Dude, I was.

I lost my voice.

Monster Truck was so fucking fun.

Like never once did I really understand like sports enthusiasts, Like I never understood the idea of like packing yourself into a stadium and watching something that was like pretty like mundane or whatever, and like Monster Trucks is definitely more like for my little monkey baring Like yeah, like it's definitely like just like cave Man burn, So it's like not that crazy.

Well, Caveman's didn't have cars or wheels, so it's not it's not cave Mam.

Brain what the fuck do you look at the cabinet you left open?

Yes, literally, it's freaking me the fuck out. Thank you.

But for the first time in my life, I was watching something and I, without thinking about it, would jump up like from excitement, like I would jump upy.

Like I'm like, I'm really gonna lean heavy into like my Southern Texan like hick roots, Like I'm gonna become like I mean, like, look at me. I'm already like almost, I'm like, I'm like, look at me, I'm almost there. But like actually, like they just know how to have fun, Like they know how to have fun.

They know how to turn that damn Burin off, And that's what I needed, Yeah, burin off, eyes open.

Like we need to go shoot guns.

I was present in that moment.

In that moment, I actually present.

Actually I was fully present. I was not thinking about the future of the past and nothing. I was in the moment.

I was begging for one of them cars to.

Cray explode and kill thirty people.

I will say, like, obviously, I'm glad this didn't happen, and I don't actually want it to happen, but like, this is what happens when.

All I do is watch tragedy.

Human tragedies is like I was like, oh my god, like that car is going to explode, that car is going to crash, that car's going to crash into the stand we're sitting in. Obviously that didn't happen because they like have hello safety crashes, and even if it did, I'm pretty sure we all like did a thing where we agreed that if we fucking die, like it's not

Run them run other cars over.

It was literally the funnest thing ever, Like I can't believe it. Also, it's funny being in a stadium because they look small, but those things are fucking mess.

They're massive, Like the wheels are two times as big as the people there are driving them. Also, it's just it's crazy because like you forget that there's literal human beings inside of these like yeahs flying three hundred feet in the air, and you're like, wait, what the fuck? Like I thought these were like RC cars, but then they like get out and wave and like play to the other.

They get out and wave, and they look like little ants on a like piece of like turkey meat. Like it's just like them crawling on top. And then you have to look at the monitor to see what the fuck they look like.

But it was freaking awesome. I want to drive a monster truck. I'm gonna put monster truck wheels on my Ford Future.

It's gonna be like like in Tyler's video when he had like wheels on his rolls Roys, but imagine that, but on my small sedan.

You're dinky, for I love the word dinky. It's like it's my new word.

You're a little dinky.

It's like I want that dinky little car.

How Come I don't get cute nicknames?

And that's lie I get Ernie.

I don't get cute nicknames.

Yes, Dooby, okay, Doobster. I never ruby.

I've said doopster, but like not in like a serious way. I'm like doopster, like I've said it like that before word.

I've given you ERNI want Tonabe because you like fashion.

That's what Kanye said when he wrote that song for people, for his fans Exactly. I gave y'all junior want to know it because y'all like fashion, Like I did that for you.

Hello, awkward, my.

Hair, you're starting to hurt a little bit.

Why is it hurting?

I don't know.

Your hair shouldn't be hurting on your head. What do you mean it's just like dense. Yeah, she probably put like cement in there. It's a brick.

I don't know how she got it to shine like this. It almost like synthetic.

Next time someone gets me mad, I'm literally gonna be like trying to be like fake nice.

And be like, oh my god, like let me do a hair mask for you, like you're like, it's really good and put cement in their hair.

I'm gonna imagine next time I like want to hurt someone's feelings, I'm gonna be like, oh, like, your wig looks really nice.

Now you have to say that to like a man, you know.

Casey says it to Josh and like the fucked up thing is it is like like like Josh even admitted like sometimes his hair looks like a wig and crazy. It's like I'm gonna rip that fucking wig off of your head and like it's just crazy. This, however, not a wig. I don't know.

I never said it was. It doesn't even look like a wig. It looks really good.

People are asking in the comments that can feel it like that's not a that's not your hair. No, I got botched, you're wait. I literally I got flute out to Istanbul and this is what happened. They fucking plugged out every one of my hairs.

And replaced it with more plastic.

They replaced my hair the way that I was like, wait, that's kind of a good idea.

As a hallowigs are made of plastic.

Well, no, like, like.

Your hair has really fast as you sit here.

Yeah, it's actually crazy. It's a problem. Plastic hair plugs you put like you you know how their hair transplants work. You put instead of putting real hair, plastic hair that stays the same length forever.

That sounds like it would literally deteriorate your poor and you would like pass away from like microplastics.

I have microplastics in my balls. Whether there's microp you.

Had your microplastics and oils for the day.

My belly hurts all into the microplastics and oils made belly hurts.

That literally me, that's why my stomach always hurts.

Fun.

I was gonna say something and I really forgot my Oh my god, that's gone. I'm sitting here acting like I'm thinking.

Like I did that all the time, and I like when I like haven't added anything to the conversation in a long time, I'm like, oh, I forgot what I was saying. I was gonna say something. I was gonna say that funk, I was gonna say something.

And then I'm like, like, what was I gonna say?

What was I gonna say?

I was gonna say so, but I literally just closed my eyes and looked here and immediately forgot why I closed my eyes, and I started feeling my like crease in my eyeball, and I was like, dude, I can't believe there's.

Like eyeballs in the hair, Like that's literally where my brain was.

I was like, I wonder if I could push my fingers into the crease of my eyeballs and get between there.

Yeah, you definitely could, but you'd lose your eyes.

I don't need them.

I don't need them because I've seen everything I need to see because I saw you, and then I was like, I never want to see anything like.

That ever again. Take my eyes.

They fur my eyes.

The killers, the killers, literally serving the killer.

Why are we going through?

They were actually the killers?

We're going through the hills.

And we swore we fucking saw the house from once upon a time in Hollywood, and we went into this cold a sack and I just did a turn and then sat on the street while we tried to figure it out.

And I was like, we look like murderers.

We looked like the killers the entire time. We felt like I was on killer mode.

I am the killers.

Huh, what what.

Did you say?

I didn't say anything?

Okay, And just because I got worried something.

He said he killed a person. I heard it the headphones on.

Your birth You're going to prison next nothing. I'm not kidding, it's going to be me.

Next time. It's going to be me. It's going to be me on about in the middle of the ocean.

Nothing beats the fear of like waking up and genuinely being like concerned that you killed someone.

I've had so many dreams. No, I've had so many.

Dreams where there's so many things that beat that. No, because I've never experienced that.

Dude, if you've ever had like a very realistic dream where you like committed a crime or like did something crazy, and then you wake up and you it like you know when you like I'm trying to think, so say something bad to happen to me today, and I'm like really sad about it.

It's like, Okay, I just want to go to sleep and get it over.

But you know that the next day, the worst feeling is going to be like when you wake up and you're like that was real and that sad thing happened, and like I'm still in this reality where it happened.

Sometimes I have my dead brother and grandpa and bug. The next morning, after waking up after finding out they were all dead. Was the harshest reality of my head.

You painted like it was a triple like.

The harshest reality of my life. I woke up the next morning and I didn't know what to do with myself. You played Fortnight, I popped on the Fortnite and color like nothing was wrong. That's what when when you get onto me for playing video games, it's kind of fucked up because that's me repressing all.

Of this tuf I'm not getting on you. I'm just speaking a fact and you're you're reading it wrong.

Does it frustrate you a little bit when I'm playing my video games just a little bit?

Literally?

Not Have you ever been like brother, like we have shit to do?

No? Because, if anything, I'm the one who avoids work heavier. I'm like, bro, I like I something in this morning.

You like to Yeah, no, no, no, okay. So there's two instances. So we had a early call time. We had to be on this set. We had to be on this set like no big deal, don't worry about it, like it's top secret information. You'll probably hear about it within the week or something. But it's big things are coming, Big things are coming. We had to be on set like early call time.

You're like going on and on and on.

But there were two call times on the call shoot that we were sent. There was one at eleven thirty and one at noon. And I took the liberty of telling Enya that call time was at eleven because I knew if I said that, we would have gotten there at noon, because Enya's late to everything. And I played a little mind game with you this morning.

You know what's funny is the way you read being late is different from me, because I read us being late together like late to the party, like Casey Musk, and you read it, you read it so foul, but like my thing is like it doesn't matter where I'm going if.

I'm late and I'm with my bay like I'm good, and you you.

Read it in this very awful way with you, Oh Mo, need to crab in.

You're just a body of two.

And then this morning I took the liberty to Kay was looking at us and he was like he was kind of putting his entire existence. He was like, these these people I work with, these people like this is in these don't look like people.

Next two three years of your career with like I slid in his eyes.

He was like, wait, I made a mistake, but this morning I took the liberty to put a little pep in your step to I attacked your pride, That's what I did.

Yeah, I'm like, bitch, I'm gonna slap you in the I.

Attacked your pride and I and I'm sorry. I do apologize. But Enya at nine fifty something was still in bed and I walked into her room and I was like, girl, like, we're shooting at ten thirty this morning, Like we gotta go, we gotta get going. And then she was like, I don't even have to I don't have to do anything. All I have to do is put on clothes. And I was like, I mean we're probably going to be

That, and yeah, you're not also ten thirty hit. Kai wasn't at the door.

Yeah, Kai was late, Like everybody is late. That's the thing is Kai is late a lot. And we put up with it.

Kay, you're a late bloomer. You still haven't hit puberty yet too, right.

Yeah, I've hit puberty. I have. That was like it was a while ago.

It was like twenty years ago.

You knew and you said that, you were like, fuck, it's coming, it's coming.

It's really oh but yeah you read that, dacy to come into my room, my fucking space.

Of piece domicile and look at me and go it's ten fifteen when it was nine to fifty five, as if I like haven't looked at my phone all morning, Like I just woke up and.

Like sat there, like I have my ways of getting people to do things that I want because everybody in my life is a pawn and I use y'all as such.

You shouldn't be admitting that to the public like they're gonna.

I will sacrifice you if I have to, Like I'm doing the podcast alone next week. On a boat in the middle of the ocean.

You would not survive on a boat in the middle of the ocean. You would have a freak out. You'll see you'd have freak out, or we'd see that you've posted like.

The water turns black at night. The water turns black at night. No, yeah, me stranded on the jet ski in the middle of the ocean.

Still see me?

Look out you're like, No, you're still alive. Like I swear, Like, this is y'all. Okay, See, this is y'all talking to the police force. No, I swear, God shut that ship down.

To me, God has smile.

Yes, this is y'all talking to the police force. The next day. Can I be he's he's alive. I swear.

Now, do you know how do let me be me? Let me be me?

No, I'm you know where you're going. You're there. You're the cop. You're the cop, bitch, you're the cops.

I'm not okay, if I know it's hello kitty.

Hello kitty literally does say a cap And that's the thing.

I am not a cop.

I'm the missing person's like the head of the Department of Missing Persons.

That's why I am I And I'm you.

Okay, I'm the what I'm h p h e V B person.

You're giving HPV yeah, ama virus. Okay you started off. No, no, sir, No, I swear, I swear. I swear he's alive.

We can't find his body. You guys gave us like the last ocation he saw him. We can't find the boat, we can't find the body, Like I'm afraid he's gone.

No, look he's posted sixty three memes on his meme account in the last four days.

Oh, we have no way to verifying that's him. We have no way to verifying that's him.

And scene.

Where I would end, We would just give up. It'd be like so.

True, That's what I would want to happen. I wouldn't want you to dwell on me. I wouldn't want y'all to be worried about me if I was missing. Just like, go on with your life like I probably wanted to.

I literally will go on with my life.

People will be like damn, she's like really moving on And I replace you on the podcast immediately, Like I come back next week and it's just Josh sitting in the air and be like keep going and say nothing about it. Wow.

I mean you get that you ask for you have a friend who love you.

I mean, I'm like serious though about this death hoax thing. I want to see how far No, this isn't asking.

For like really not, because then like your fucking mem Yeah, I'm gonna poor is gonna be like literally have a heart attack.

Because dude, No, actually, I just want to I think we could get it.

Okay, this is other ways to get attention you don't have.

It doesn't have to be I'm getting verified on IG since they won't fucking verify me. I g I'm going to blow up your server room if you don't verify me, literally before before we get before we get into it. What I'm going to do is I'm going to have all of you guys started death hooks about me because part of the verification process is you need to articles written about you. Oh my wait, No, this is bad because they can like shut down my IG for like being a dead person.

Yeah, they're gonna put this thing where it's like this is a memorial space.

Do not do not do any of this. I'm still alive. Do not start a deathos. But you have to get verified. You have to have like two articles written about you.

Why don't you do something good? And then some maybe someone will write something about you.

No one gives a funk about any of the good I do.

So you're done being good.

I'm done.

It's me the joker Joka.

He sounds like someone illegally made a game about Batman and they hired you to do the voice of the.

Jook that was like Harley Quinn and Joker Max.

Yeah, that's what I'm going for.

It's like a new character.

Yeah, it's like a thing that I've been working on. Demmi Levado tweets there. Just once upon a time, Demi Lovado tweeted I'm gonna put this airline on blast and it was on nine eleven.

Yeah, I know.

It's just like all the times, like tweets just like get made out of. Like this is why Twitter was like so bad, because it was the one spot where it was like it was it was like what's it called like favor to just say what was at the top of your mind, Like that's how like that app worked, and like no one should be saying publicly everything that's at the top of their mind, and so many times like it just like circles back and isn't good.

Are you okay?

True, I'm looking at my subjects the viewers.

Oh, it's not like you don't have to go like this. It's they're not like in a stake. Wait, we didn't talk about that.

Also, one of the Monster Jam like guys was like so into being a public figure, like he was like he literally was like.

I'm so happy you guys are here, Like, thank you guys for coming. And if you're excited, let me hear you scream.

And he moved his hand like this, and I racked the fuck up because he literally he felt like Michael Jackson in that moment like that, he was like, this stadium is going fucking crazy and it.

Was dead silent, like you could hear the dirt crumble.

Your left eye kind of looks a little swollen.

It hurts really fucking bad.

It looks like a do you see it dripping?

No?

I don't, Oh my god, And y'all, I'm sorry you just called me ugly.

No, I didn't. Like, Okay, it doesn't look like that as much.

But there was like a split second where it looked a little swollen and it like concerned me.

But you're fine.

Holy shit, yo, fuck you guys for letting me get this haircut. I swear to god, I asked him. I was like, I was like, bro, like should I just go short and just cut it off? Get the James Charles look that, you know, the infamous like James Charles mullet look that he is going on in Chickok and y'all were all like, run it, run it shit, and they fucked me up.

And it looks good. No, it looks good. It looks really good. Actually, it's just you're not used to seeing yourself like that. Yes, it does.

Look at me in the eyes and tell me it looks good.

It looks good.

No, into my eyes, not through my eyes. Look at me in my eyes and it looks good. Kai, look at me in my eyes and tell me it looks good. Into my eyes.

It looks good.

It looks awesome. It's the best. Harut. Fuck, why are you pulling it?

I like the pain, but dude, the weekend tweeting let's go, let's go.

And then literally Russia is actively invade in Ukraine in that moment, and then his next tweet is actually, guys, I'm so sorry, Like I just saw the news.

Because there was literally the night everything started.

Like I just saw the news, Like yeah, I didn't mean like let's go to Russian in Ukraine.

Like it just is so funny. Also because like the tweet is still.

Up, they're like let's go, saying let's go because he has like new.

Music and a single or something coming out the next.

Day, and it's just I just love like tweet mishaps where it's just like, yeah, there's gotta be more.

To the world.

Yeah, there's gotta be more to this life. You know what I'm saying.

That's literally Aladdin. He has like a song about that in Aladdin. Aladdin was my favorite Disney movie.

That shit sucks, No.

Jasmine Sirs Robin Willie, Yeah, voice, did you.

Be whack?

Next next Disney movie Monsters Zinc and is yeah Monster z Inc and uh finding Nemo are coming to say hello?

What like sometimes I don't think you do that on for that was where was that going?

You just shut me down and then took us a moment of silence, and then Monsters and Demo were coming to visit Like.

No, I meant like they're coming to say hi. I like like has something to say.

Threads where it was like eight eight why don't you get sacks to like to girls who deserve it? And it's like a picture like the two most random pictures ever and.

Then it's a thread Sunflowers. It's like, uh, you four be a job or whatever. The big comeback tweets.

Drew tried to read a joke about euphoria the other day, and it was like euphoria, this euphoria that.

Like why don't you fourr job?

No, I always a little.

Why don't you start start looking for your job?

Yeah, that's what it was.

And the way Drew run it was like he was like you four hear this Upori that why don't you go why don't you go looking looking for four your job?

And he like he was not doing it in like a way because.

I'm a literate not really. Yeah, let's make fun of me because I never learned how to read.

Well, you're like twenty five.

You learned, bitch. I'm six fucking teen today. I'm six fucking teen, bitch, and I'm learning. I'm gonna fucking get in my car for the first time and run your ass over. You're gonna be my first victim. That's the thing. When I get my life since like it's over, Like I'm taking souls, like I'm gonna run people over. I don't care.

That's the thing.

You're You're not sixteen, You're not sixteen. You're like you're just not You're twenty four today. You were twenty four.

No, I'm serious. We're cutting that out. We're not We're not saying that you're we're not saying that.

You're not sixteen. You're just you're an adult. You're a grown ass adult and you've been an adult for a very long time.

No no, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no.

No, dude, you can't. Are you actually trying to convince yourself you're sixteen, because I'm not like, you're not sixteen, bitch.

I look sixteen. Look at me, you.

Look sixteen years if you've been in prison for sixteen years, given sixteen, you've been incarcerated for sixteen I'm.

Look giving Virgin Suicides recently.

Like in a like youthful way, like, yeah, you do look like the what's his name, uh, the main guy from uh Virgin Suicides, the one who smokes weed and bones.

That sounds like me though, that does sound a lot like me.

That does sound like you. But you're sixteen. You haven't smoked weed yet.

I smoke weed.

I that's not legal, and I'm gonna I'm actually gonna have to tell somebody.

I get on the golf cart, get a blow torch, roll up a little blunt, and I smoke that ship on the golf course and then.

You drive back and knee rated.

Yeah.

Yeah, and then I take a couple of shots when I get home.

To put you to sleep or like to get the to just.

Balance me out. I'm so stressed. I'm growing up, yo. Turning sixteen really like it like opened me up to the world, like in all the evils, Yeah.

Around you started you started to finally realize why you're parents are so stressed.

Yeah, I just realized that, like we're just all humans, you know, like and like our parents like they don't know what the fuck is going on.

Ever, Yeah, no one, and all the adults in your life, they're so lost.

And the thing is, we're all lost. We're all lost souls, and.

We're just like we're like this small, like like literally like look between my fingers, Like you can't even see the space between that, because that's how small.

Did you know? If you no matter how hard you press your fingers together, they're never actually touching. There's always a micro space in between it. And that's that's the truth with literally everything you can't actually touch something with.

So I'm actually technically a virgin. I mean yes, by that's I'm a virgin. Guys, I hope I lose my virginity this.

I'm a born again virgin.

You're only sixteen. You are probably just a virgin.

I was a totso slag that's slash slag in middle school.

Dude.

The way your face moves when you do that is like really fucked up.

It's all it's all like micro movements. It's like it's like, you know what I'm saying, Like when I'm an actress.

I'm looking at you and I like can't believe you're a human, Like your body radiates heat.

You're like alive.

Yeah, that's the truth. I look at you sometimes and I think the same thing, and I have to look away. I'm like, Okay, this is getting too real because you're actually I know, I.

Like can't break contact for me right now. It's freaking me out.

I see you. You know what I'm saying, Like, I see you. It's still the year of realizing things. It's still the year.

It's been the year of realizing things since twenty sixteen. We haven't had another.

It's been the year realizing things since I was like, what like ten years old?

Wait?

When was I born?

What you you know your birth year?

Oh, because I was ninety seven. I was high as fuck when you were born? No, like nine, ten eleven.

Oh, so you just are forgetting things at a rapid rate.

No, Actually, what year was I born in?

Why are you looking up what year you were born? Today's literally your birthday?

Fuck? Okay?

Four twenty six, two thousand and two thousand and six, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen.

Oh yeah, two thousand and six, okay.

Can you can you fact check that?

Two thousand and six?

Yeh, damn six baby, damn. Sixteen year olds are fucking babies from six or sixteen?

You?

What did you just say?

Because I thought you were going to say a sentence, and I tried to like help.

You finish it.

You did, you finished my thought?

But why did you elongate the sentence myself saying our sixteen Okay, that's it, that's.

It, girl.

We haven't even been on for thirty minutes?

Kay?

What we were?

What?

We don't fucking green me out like that.

If we've been talking for only like twenty minutes, I would actually pass away, Kai, don't throw up, go to the fucking bathroom.

Okay, how long have we been on?

Fifty five minutes?

Ah?

Damn? So we started right at eleven. Yeah, make wish it's eleven eleven.

Make a wish it's eleven eleven.

To make a wish, it's literally eleven fifty five.

It's no, it's eleven eleven.

You were actually fucking freaking out.

Don't believe me?

Hmmm, one day I'm going to say something so serious and no one's gonna believe me.

It's gonna be too late. It's gonna be way too late.

What are you insinuating? I don't know.

I'm insinuating that you should start believing in me.

That's me every fucking day.

To both of y'all, you're a fucking chronological liar and you're going to hell.

Chronological liar, dude.

As I said, I was like, this is the wrong word, and they're gonna say something.

Like chronological liar. I am, so I lie in order I lie in order to get my.

Way, that you lie in order to survive.

So see, if y'all, if y'all actually had sympathy for me in my little white lies, like you would be able to read beneath the surface and see that I have to lie based off childhood traumas. Oh see see now you're abusing. Sure, yeah, go ahead, I have to lie.

No, go ahead and keep pushing me.

You have no idea how close I am to the edge.

It's like that one meme where it's like, keep digging you now, keep digging, hit the diamond if you stop the way you just moved your arm I'm referencing.

Are you talking about minecraft?

I have no idea.

Oh wait, yeah, it's like if you stop digging. Yeah, but it's the complete opposite if you're cave diving. This is just a little oh are you Are you saying.

When you're digging for diamonds, just when you think you're like not about to like hit something.

There's one right on the other side. So just keep going. But if you're in a cave, not keep going.

You should not keep going because you can get.

Very You're still going to get what.

I don't know that was the cave diving thing you were going to say. There's so many Like I just thought there were so many facts and like I didn't know that.

It's just no. If you're cave diving and you feel like you're going the wrong way.

You have to turn around unless you have a rope with you, because like it's very hard to get back by the way.

Not a rope, No, it's just turn around, go back to where you came from, and get out of that fucking cave. Get out of my cave.

Literally, you would you hang up with my parents this week? Get out of my cave. Go back to where you came from.

The referencing it's it's a reference to America.

My songs of this week, I think I've said literally half of these already and I don't care. The first one is The Room of Ancillary Dreams by Harold Budd doesn't really matter Jenna Jackson, but it has to be the Nutty Professor version with that cover.

And then I Would Die for You Prince and King Florence is the Machine.

I think I've said literally all of those already, but I literally don't care. I Would Die for You by Prince is literally one of the best songs on the planet Earth.

What were You doing?

Absolutely nothing? Okay, y'all to me is Camino del Sol by Antenna Outside featuring Thug Yeat Yeat the New Yeat album YEP, and Party featuring Andre three thousand, Beyonce iyeng but a murderer and also for extra credit work, go listen to Beyonce's coach.

That ship is so fucking good.

May I'm not joking, may be one of the best live performances of our lifetime.

Beyonce is low key underrated as fuck.

Like I know the way that when you say that as a joke, I genuinely believe that.

I genuinely think that now only because.

It's getting to the point where like are like stars aren't like the girls stars now, Like the girls have like doja cat and like do a lipa now, so they've like moved on and our generation had Beyonce, Rihanna and Nikki.

Uh there was someone else who's at the top of my head, Oh, Lady Gregert.

Yeah.

Yeah, they'll forever be relevant, but they just won't be what they were to us.

To them, Yeah, it's not like they're gin z. We were watching their videos on MTV.

Wait listen to this. You're gonna emergency Intercom should start its own country and we should all move.

That's any country like that's actually like not legal, Like you can't, like we can't.

We could have like the squirt Squad City Town Center and the Cream Team, the Cream Team.

The Cream Team Temple.

Yeah, oh see it's happening and we could like it's like skater vibes.

We put railing on every stairs. We have like every stairs and know of the little bumps to stop you and uh like Sunflower Town, some Flower.

And that song is always playing in the circle in the in Sunflower Circle.

We should start emergency in our comm Minecraft server.

I'm actually so down.

It was fun as fuck. I just need someone to run it because I don't know how to do any of that ship maybe young, But.

Do we have any movies? I haven't seen anything.

I don't think I've been watching so much Futurama. That show is a classic, like a literal class.

I refuse to watch it because of how much I watched it as a kid, Like I'm not kidding, true, I didn't watch like I rarely watched Family Guy or like even South Park or anything. It was Futurama, and that is where I thought it was okay to pick up the very toxic trait of always talking about killing myself from fucking bender is. I'm I'm genuinely like so sure, that's where it came from because I watched that so much in my youth that I thought.

Claiming my own death and suicide with the funniest thing ever. I was like, you know what, I will do it.

It is like, actually the funniest thing ever. But I've been watching so much Futurama and it holds up.

Can you turn off this camera and just make out I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, keep going.

No, I'm sorry. I actually cut you off, like about Futurama.

No, I'm used to being like talked over.

You actually can't say that because motherfucker swear I do that and.

They grew up in general like kaya talks over me.

No, I don't.

I'm just I just haven't been heard recently, like I haven't been like like people haven't been hearing me, and I have to give If.

Someone could just make a compilations of all the times I gave Drew the floor to say something and the things he decided to say to me.

I just feel I'm just cut off. I'm not referencing.

Actually I'm cutting you off because you're hello toxic for me, and I'm cutting you off like I am cutting you. I'm cutting you like James Charles cut that rib at the Morphy opening.

I'm about to you like.

James Charles cut his pubes and gave himself raisor Barn.

The bumps. Yeah, I love you. I mean, I don't know.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say that.

All right, Yeah, that's it.

I really don't think I have a Oh my god, we're getting demonetized.

There goes your fucking chap. That's coming off of your chat.

Uh, did we watch any movies?

No?

I just watched that Alpine Lakes documentary. There's literally icebergs in lakes in the like Swiss Alps. It's like so random. And then there's like this scene where these newts come out, and I fucking love Newts. I think they're my new like little pet obsessions. Also, I really badly want a coral reef, and I think I'm gonna get into rare succulents. That's just that's just all me, that's all media. Rare succulents sound like a vibe.

I plan on doing nothing and taking a vow of silence, and next week I'm not saying anything.

No, you're not gonna be there next week.

Yes I am. Oh because you're gonna kill me.

No, no, no, no, it's just gonna be. Oh well maybe we'll see.

Yeah, because why are you gonna I thought the whole thing was you're gonna on the book because you killed us.

I'm gonna be escaping.

We still have not watched Being John Malkovich.

Yeah, we lie.

Listen. We just teach you that in life you can't expect anything from anybody because people you can't trust other people. Just cut yourself off, lock yourself off, trust nobody. Oh my god. Oh I'm so sorry for somewhere. Oh fuck you, guys. I'm done. I'm actually no, I'm done.

Seriously, this ship's like over.

Thank you for watching. You guys are awesome, your star.

Your rosts to my heart. Okay, you heard that. You heard that.

I just said absolutely nothing to the rhythm of uh like Willie Wonka song and you see you're man, your imagination anything anyh