I just hey, hi.
This is like during COVID when people who were in rehab had to zoom call their family and say like hi, like.
Oh, was that a thing? Yeah, I never saw that. I saw the zoom graduations. Those were pretty dark.
This is our.
Zoom ra all right, guys, so lots to talk about, but not much as we can say.
Yeah, we're in quite the pickle, but that's okay. Hey, oh my god, I just let the hell out of my mic before anyone says it. Yes, I know you probably like, and it looks so gorgeous despite everything happening, like.
She's how does she do it?
Yeah? I know, and you're brought like, oh yeah, that's exactly probably what people ask. It's like how do you do it? And honestly, I have no tips. It is quite literally just genetics. No, it sucks. It sucks.
But and people are probably like, how why does Drew look so terrible? Like what is going on? Bitch? Oh watch what happens when I turned them on? Oh do you see that? It's like, it's it's basically my aura I have.
That's your aura. I think that's like the Lens Flair kind.
Of it's it's my aura. As you can see, it's white with blueish purple tints, which actually, let's look it up and see what that means.
Why you're literally like when we used to go on YouTube and look up conspiracy and then look up latest uploaded and it would be someone driving and filming the run and being like, as you can see, all the lights have just turned red, and I just wanted to document this because this means blah blah blahlah blah, that is you.
I'm essentially an astral traveler of sorts. I feel connected to a higher power entering communications with their higher self. I mean, all of that makes sense to me.
That tracks like, if that's your aura, then why does it go away when you turn off the light? Like that's why I don't understand. Wouldn't that just be like your glow all the time?
I literally it's basically I'm a non conformist, so I don't conform to like all this weird light shit you'll have going on. But what I do conform too is hating seeing myself while we record, because here we are again, I'm fucking puggy.
You always say that you don't look bad when we record it. You always do that face now and it doesn't. Well, if anybody's wondering where Kai is. We lost him in the custody battle.
Yeah, we banished him to the shadow.
We lost guy in the custody battle.
Well, they he's actually locked in the basement. Yeah, we're trying to get him out. But it's almost like I can hear him.
Yeah, his presence.
I feel really actually in the basement. I actually sucked my hacked it.
He hacked it.
What did he say? He said he sucked his way out, Like bitch, you're always gonna make it.
So, yeah, the basement.
And ironically it looks like you're in the basement.
No, this is my room. This is my cool room.
Why do you have a nightstand right in front of your closet?
Because I'm adjusting things, I'm moving things around. I just moved here like six months ago.
So I the only girl who gets manic at three am and rearrange.
Just like, oh, it's you didn't have a childhood unless you change your room at least three times a week.
I didn't have my own room growing up, so I wasn't allowed to do that kind of stuff. Okay, well, I just want to start this episode off by saying, I really don't understand the Olympics. They don't make it to me. I literally don't understand what's happening. Like, I know y'all are there, and like I'm seeing a whole lot of like look at my bed tour, not a whole lot of running, swimming, fucking chasing whatever the fuck y'all do.
My gosh, I was gonna say, I had a topic to bring up. They need to shut the fuck up about those goddamn cardboard beds. God, for the last twelve years it's been like this, like, oh my god, they have cardboard beds. They're like they need their sleep, but they put them on cardboard. Oh whoa, they're actually randomly
kind of comfortable. Bitch, we know y'all sleep in cardboard beds. Like, shut the fuck up about them, Like please, please, please, like go play basketball challenge Like no. Literally.
Also, okay, there's a lot of time back because first of all, when when do y'all start doing what the fuck you're supposed to do, Like, when do y'all start doing the damn thing? And I have a feeling about Yeah, I was gonna say, I have a feeling by the time this episode comes out, they're gonna be doing their damn thing, so whatever, like oh sue me. Second of all, all of them are doing these crazy unboxing calls of the stuff they're getting gift gifted. How are you getting
that shit back home? Like I saw this U extra to unload like four duffels worth of shit, and I was like, where is that going? Because that's going right to the fucking landfill.
You know, some countries put them in suitcases for them, so they like definitely had a problem where people were just like I can't get this shit back home, Like I'm broke. I didn't win fucking bronze gold or silver, so like I cannot afford to bring this back and buy my own suitcase. Because they're also all trapped in the same village and they're all having sex rampantly.
Okay, that's the thing. I know. They give them like cardboard beds to make them not fuck, but like, damn, after a hard day's work, sometimes you just need a good fucking I know.
Literally, they need to get.
Their time schedule back on course, like they're all jet lagged. They need a good fuck to go to sleep. But I guess like the issue is like that could be risky because people are fucking monsters and don't know how to like navigate those things correctly. Like that's what I'm assuming.
Like STDs were a thing like Olympic Village STDs.
Like it's like the mass spreading.
Yeah, but Lebron James is a flag bear this year for USA.
What does that mean? You? You? That's the thing. The US is supployed to try to get shots and it's not gonna happen. Like Also, all the fucking fits are ugly as heck, Like.
I will say, I think one country has like the most cunty outfits.
I saw Haiti had a funy fit like it was giving very tom brown like very like cut like suit, nice like embellishments. I saw another one like I don't know if it's Australia or what.
I don't this year the.
Weird pleated.
Like y'all like really bad.
But there was something else I wrote about the Olympics because the Olympics has just been pissing me off.
Like it's all over my fucking feed.
Oh do you win money? If you win, what do you get, like just to like be the annoying bit you've been Like who could be like I won the Olympics. Like that's what that feels like to me is just be like the Olympics.
It's basically like some countries I think, like Singapore or something like if you win gold, you win a million dollars, which is like seven hundred and twenty thousand USD. But not every country. I think if you win a gold in America, it's like thirty two thousand dollars, but it's not a requirement by the country, and it's really like.
We need to reule this back. It's being the face of the country in terms of sports. You get thirty two thousand dollars.
Yeah, but it's it's not like it's like an add on on top, because like no one's doing it for the cash. They're doing it for the clout. And also like brand deals post Olympics is like I guess, yeah.
You get signed to Nike after that and it's a wrap like you.
But if you're an Olympic athlete and you're not signed to Nike, you're a flop. I'm just saying, oh my god, I.
Don't think Nike can even sign that many people, but yeah, I think that too.
Huh Ki has such a good fucking camera. I'm actually done since you want to you want to make this ship all about your fucking self, bitch, I'm out of here.
Your camera off?
Okay, mid Oh my god, who's this ugly bitch on my screen right now? It actually scared the funk out of me when she came.
Don't call her ugly and it's fucking beautiful.
Okay, stop, no, sorry, sorry, everybody come back.
And yeah, I mean kay, that was like, hella weird. You were like hitting on.
Your boss, hitting on her. I was stating an objective fact and you are not acknowledging it.
Oh, let me find out up here.
Oh he is? He is? I for one second he wasn't, but I switched it.
So we need to We need to reel it back because Kaya said Enya is objectively beautiful. And then it said, Andrew, you are not a bitch. I'm stunner. I'm a I'm a baddie, I'm a boxer. I'm like, I'm a baddie, I'm a star boy. Like, don't fucking play with me words.
You're being manipulative, wondering why Drew doesn't go to New York more often, or at least as often as I do, and Drew literally physically can't walk down the streets of New York without agents chasing him, ripping as close to shreds because they're trying to grab him through the crowds.
It's like, y'all, learn some fucking boundaries. You can't just grab me. Like when I was in Japan, all of the scouting agencies out there were like, oh my god, like this white boy, like he needs to be the faith of our brand.
Like this white boy.
It's crazy, It's really crazy. I'm like American Dream.
I want to say I didn't call you ugly. I said you're ignoring this objective fact, and then I think you're sexy, like you know this. Why would I grab my ankles for you if I.
Didn't, okay enough enough enough, because you'll are gonna make me mad?
As talk, Yah, I had this gross ass fucking forehead vein. I look like a Neander.
You need to packet the fuck up and go to confidence camp or some shit bitch like literally camp shipping you off tomorrow.
Girl, I'm not going to conversion therapy. What are you talking about?
No, I said, confident camp. Well, I decided that something about people commenting like overly deep sentiments on people's tiktoks is the weirdest thing that we've come to. Like, this guy made this TikTok, which also like you saying that publicly you're going to hell. You're gonna burn in hell because his TikTok was like procrastinating on breaking up because I just want to be able to hold you a few more times. Okay. First of all, you're crazy as fuck,
like you're crazy for publicizing that information. Second of all, the comments were like, uugh, I know the love is gone, but I'm hurt a little more to be held one more time, like all the shit and I'm just like, bro, if I was going on TikTok, like scrolling around and I found a TikTok like that, and one of y'all had commented that on the TikTok, I would literally blow your shit up, like I would, like me, that's what you wish.
Would have hold on.
No, I would take a screenshot and I would post it on my story for the next seven days in a row, like it would my story would be dots because it would just be like the same screenshot a million times.
Damn uh yeah. No, I've I've always seen it's like kind of the same thing, but the fucking uh oh what's it called. I'm looking through my history to find it right now. It's a it's like those post it notes. It's like the invisible project or something like that, where like people like post the person's first name and then write a sentiment about them, oh like the yeah, yeah
yeah or something yeah, some shit like that. But I went through and I looked up my name, and I swear to god, there was like at least five that I could trace back to me. And I was like, oh wait, this is about me. This is about me, and I make everything about myself. So I looked up y'all's names as well, and Yea, you didn't really have any because you have an esoteric, weird name Kai you never have ever had any bitches period, so you had not either, But I have twenty. They were all about me.
Too, okay, and you have one of the most common names on the fucking planet, like Hello Grue. Actually, it's likely for them to be about you, and it's more likely for them to be about me because I have such a rare, unique, sexy, alluring, elecant name. So like it makes more sense. That's the ones that are there are about me too. I don't think your name is.
That oh it is the uncent project. Hold on, let's look up Kai Kai Sinat.
You got ate up with that one. You literally got ate up.
My name is two consonants.
People spell your name like Haisnat's name.
Okay, wait, this is this is teeth. They're all like kind of crazy. I hate that. I still love you. If if it was your internalized homophobia that made you leave me, I hope you healed from it. Now wait, I got read. I miss you being stock. That's look opinion. Okay, shame you lost me.
Okay, but John never lost a hole in my life.
Constantly, consistently, continually, always you. It's a cruel summer without you.
Not the swift you mentioned?
Oh is that swift.
What he's written?
Mine?
Mine are so sweet? Oh? Mine are so sweet? Drew, Uh, you have a giant penis?
Oh no, I actually just found yours. Drew, you are so fucking annoying. I want you to shut up all the time, but I'm too embarrassed to tell you to shut up because I feel like a mean person. Drew, you are so ugly and fugly and nasty, and you smell like shit.
It doesn't look like you're reading anything. It looks like you're just saying no, no.
I just memorized them. I was like last night in bed, just reading them like a script because I just wanted to be able to say them to you.
Oh weird, weird Max.
I can't stand up because I'm wearing pajama pants. I'm so work from home coded.
Right, that is so COVID coded.
No.
Yeah, we got a new colorway of this hoodie, and then.
We have cute shorts. We have a really cute shirt that are friendly on did a painting for and Oryan did a poem four on the back of it, which is really sweet and the poem made me cry. We have a T shirt with puppets made by a fan plushies. And we have your mom.
Oh yeah, we're selling pieces of your mom.
Whore. I'm selling a flashlight replica of myself. It's but it's fifty thousand dollars.
I literally have always wanted to make a Willy kit and do it of mine and them, because bitch, I know those ship would sell out.
Oh that would be so gross.
That's so uncomfortable.
It's so scary.
Oh my god, can you make one for me?
Uh yeah, I'll make you whatever you're talking about, Thank you.
I might as well just use like a single finger. Maybe you're pinky drew if that's what you're.
Oh, that tracks tracks, that tracks, well, there has been an AI robot that is able, So I'll like run you down through like the whole experiment. But basically, ten thousand people submitted photos of themselves and this AI robot scanned every single person's face and with eighty one percent accuracy on men and seventy one percent accuracy on women, it was able to tell you were gay based off
of your face with eighty one percent accuracy. So there is like traits like one of things, yeah, and one of them for like for the men, it's like they have like a thinner jaw, which I don't have. Obviously, that tracks. They have smaller noses, which obviously I don't have. I have a fucking hog nose. And they have bigger foe heads in gay men, which I basically have like a two head.
Why are you spreading your fingers so much? I mean a three head is still small.
They're talking about that forehead I got sorry, gay men have bigger heads, like way bigger heads.
Oh and then women it's like smaller forehead, wider jaw and those are like the only two that like really made a difference. But yeah that's tea.
So I literally don't that talks for me because I have a big head and uh no jawline. So right, love wins love. No.
My favorite, like, my favorite me moment in my whole life is me posting a thirst trap the day gay marriage got me, Like, I was like, love fucking.
Winds, we have to insert that.
Like side boob, like laying in bed and everybody was like, are you going I.
Was like no, hell no, hell no.
Actually thank you asking for asking.
God, No, that is that is even better than she is so beautiful. Did you like the girls? I was like.
My inbox, no one.
Box bro.
Oh no, I'll save that. I'll save that for a couple of weeks from now.
Well. I saw TikTok where someone was like, oh, you can just look at certain couples and know they thought, like you know, they have good sex. And everyone in the comments was saying the names of like random couples. No one said me and Drew literally no, one said me, and Drew surd like, look at us, don't we look like we like?
Have you put in the top right?
No?
I didn't in the know in the viewscape because I mind she's in the bottom.
Oh and he is on the top left. You're on the top right, just like the episodes the hierarchy. Is that a test?
Why do you say no?
I didn't?
No? No, why not? Well? I think I needs to start saying yes boss to us, like in how they say yes, yes, ye, yes chef. You need to podcast host, yes, podcast host, yes, person with a microphone, yes, person with a microphone. Oh, motherfucker sorry, like you were so.
Nasty turning it yes and that bit okay.
Well I saw another TikTok of this uh lay by in uh Lesbian and she said, damn, like Drew has me questioning my sexuality sometimes he's so fucking fine. Had eight thousand likes, and I was like, gag, like, wait, maybe I am like sexy hot. I went to the comments, the top comments. The top comment had like five thousand likes. It almost ratioed, and it was like, girl, you can have him. I got ratioed in the fucking comments.
Oh you want to hear one fucking better. Actually, I am never. I never want to see anything post about me ever again. I at this point never outwardly go and search for anything posted about me because y'all are rudest talk and you wouldn't say that shit to my face, so literally, shut the fuck up. Second of all, bitch, someone posted a picture of me in this Gimmeglauz shirt, this like navy one, and was like, oh my god,
where can I get this shirt? It's so cute. And then somebody was talking about my boobs, which already like somebody was like, oh my god, they're sitting so pretty. I wish someone replied to it was like, that's what you say, is sitting pretty.
And that's a big insecurity of you.
I'll have y'all know I hate my tits and I do plan on having them removed. And when they're gone and I have tiny, chic boobs.
Let her get that fucking surgery. You can't get those. That's all I care about. On you.
I literally have been with people who acted like that with me, like I've always wanted a b rest reduction, and I've been with people who are like, don't get your tem I'm like, Okay, they literally make me want to kill.
Myself, like they hurt your bag.
But yeah, so because of that comment, I will be actually a lot of y'all thought I was on ozentic. Bitch. Now I'm actually gonna take it, and I'm gonna inject it right into my fucking tits and see what happens.
I injected o zimpic into my frontal lobe and shrunk it. So I have no more.
More.
I have no more. I have no more. The spider infestation in the house is getting out of control.
It's getting out because why is he eating them?
Like he literally needs to eat spiders, like to the fuck off. But I was laying in bed two nights ago and just kind of chilling there on my phone and like, for some reason, like my body felt like hella itchy, and I would just like itch the spot and I was like, what the fuck is going on? Like this is weird. And then I like would feel like a piece of my hair on my upper back and I'd go like that, but it would just be
my hair, and I was like genuinely fucking tweaking out. Well, I started ignoring the itches because I couldn't see, like, what the fuck you are not listening to me at all?
In yeah, I am, I am, I am.
No, No, I'm just fucking with you. Your eyes were like literally going in different directions completely.
I was like starting to space out looking at this.
But I was laying in bed and I felt like a bunch of itches on my leg and I was like, girl, what the fuck ignoring them? And then eventually I was like, okay, this is like not just like hair on my body, like this is something. And I looked down. There were two fucking hitters, one on my thigh, one on the like patella tendont like pateller tendant.
And I was like, if you don't say the front of your fucking knee right now, my patella tendant, like grow the fuck up. You dropped out of school. Stop doing all that you're doing, like far too much. Keep going. It was on your fucking knee attendant, like you.
But yeah, they like were probably fucking all over my body and they were literally on me, and that's the first time they've been on me, which is just like absurd. So immediately I took my apple pencil and I am paled like right through the fucking abdomen or whatever the spiders have the thorax or whatever, and I displayed him with a hole in his body on my.
I don't know if animals are smart enough to see that and be like there's danger here. Like it's not like in the movies where somebody goes out into the jungle and they see a dead body and they're like, like the killer is here, Like we must be cautious.
Like I don't know if animals are that smart, because literally, yesterday I met O'Ryan's family's house and their dog had been raining all day, like very obviously raining, and the dog kept like looking out the window like it wanted to go outside, and it went out there, touched the grasshop was wet, and came back in. I was like, damn, animals are looking so stupid because it could have looked at that fucking glass and see it was wet and
be like I'm not going out there. Like it was raining all day, thunder like storm everything, and in my head I was like, oh, I guess it's an indoor dog, so maybe it just doesn't know, but at this point you should know better. And you're pissing me.
Off, Like no, literally like, learn a goddamn lesson. Well, Kai, gen X, rise up, baby, it's your time, gen X. They are damaged people that have a lot to fucking say to us gen z ors.
I'm not gen X. I am an uh, I'm a cusp millennial.
Wait, actually, yes, you're you're gen Z. Bro you you you're gen Z. You're not a millennial. I won't let them put that on you.
I don't even know, though, because I feel like us calling ourselves gen Z sometimes feels a bit ridiculous, but I guess we are. We're like right in the middle.
You invented gen Z. Low key, A lot of you bitches are our sons and you don't even fucking realize it.
I think the fraternity test twenty nine. If you're twenty nine, you're you're a millennial. If you're twenty eight, you're a gen Z.
Maybe, but you you you're not.
Yeah, you're not there.
I know I didn't claim that I was.
There was a delay on the gen.
Is literally the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life on TikTok. Like, it literally kills me every single time I see a video of them with that goddamn filter on their face have you? Do you even know what I'm talking about?
Oh, the old filter.
No, no, the Big X, the gen X filter. There's a war actively going on on TikTok between gen X and gen Z, and it's just gen X like fighting this like bullshit battle that like gen Z's not even like aware of so like obviously gen Z is like trolling them back and like being like, oh, well, I'm going to cancel all of gen X and they're gonna be over and like just shit like that in gen X.
It's triggering the like Eminem gene that Oh exactly, huh, it's all about It's literally it's from Eminem.
It's like, you can't cancel Eminem, bitch. No one's trying, like Eminem's a hag.
Even M's already fucking Floptown USA. He has he has mayor the key to the city and he is the mayor of Floptown, USA, and he's been there.
For a long you know, it's no is he probably how many monthly streamers do you or listeners do you think he has?
Oh, I'm going to guess like twenty million or something.
He's number five in the world with eighty six million.
Wait, it's the beef between gen is so scary and zero millennials and gen Z.
It's gen X and gen Z.
People that are in their forties and fifties are fighting with gen Z here right now.
That sounds right, Like that sounds actually right because they're always like I've just been seeing a lot of the millennials being like I've been used. I thought I was gonna look like this by the time I'm forty, but I looking to the Avenus and sunscreen.
It's using retino in like, literally, shut up, No one fucking cares like I know what I'm gonna add, like a room with your old ass.
I'm literally gonna be like, I know you are in your fucking forties because you're mad.
Annoying escajen x. If they know it, dress to Impress is and it'll fry their brain.
Oh I'm so obsessed with playing dress to Impress right now, getting high as fuck? That okay, If y'all are wondering where me and drawer at mentally not fucking good, literally not good, And the only thing that makes me happy is getting so hot and playing dress to Impress and being mildly caddy caddy enough that I can get good votings on the runway, oh God, enough to annoy the fuck out of at least one person in the roadblocks.
We're I'm frying people like I am brutally honest. I'm like, this fucking outfit is terrible. That outfit is ill fitting, like this on theme at all, Like, don't fucking play with me, like take this shit series. Last night, I did a fur protest on the runway. I swear I did a fur protest.
What was the thing? It was.
Like the Oscars or the Grammys or something like that, like one of those award shows, and I did it for a protest. I was like, I'm tired of fucking seeing fur on this goddamn runway. And I think I'm gonna do an oil protest next and figure out a way to have like.
Concrete you could do like oil slick.
I think I'm just gonna wear the bright orange shirt that they all wear, and then I'm gonna have concrete on my hands somehow like a bag and make it like silver and I'm gonna.
Stay, did you get VIP yet? No?
I haven't gotten it yet.
I think I'm gonna get it tonight because I think it's just like it's so annoying. It feels it feels like they shouldn't pit the VIP girls against us like regular people because it's just fucked up, Like I don't have access to the good do you have access too? So I can't compete where I don't compare.
I did see in a Weston and Klin video that the VIP literally is just like the same clothes but in a different room. Like there, it's not like what I expected it to be where it's like a million new options, Like there's like no new pieces.
You know what it is. I looked up codes because I saw on the side you could like add codes, and I think people make things for roadblocks that you can add codes and like get a whole wardrobe that's just like in your closet technically, because I have this random bubble dress that's like in my closet. So we need to do that. We need to tap in and
find a website with all the codes. Oh. I've also decided like I've always liked like that style of like a dough n like cute lacy top, and I just can never really wear them because my boobs make it look like I'm a wench who's selling beer at the renaissances.
But that's why I.
Realized I can't do it, because and like, there are some girls who can carry that vibe in like such a good way. But I feel like a jesterre who beat up a random girl at the Renaissance Fair, ripped her clothes off, put them on myself, and now I just look look an evil wench.
Why are you beating people up at Beyonce's concert?
That campshit did not work vibes?
How do you know? How does she know? How does she know our neighbors? They destroyed my trees. They went to my boogabilia and beheaded it. They like destroyed all of the nature that I could see out of my window in a brutal fashion. It was one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen, and I was watching it actively happen in front of my face, and it was a very dark moment in my life. Well, they
started construction on a project in the backyard. Literally ran out of money or some shit because it is just a concrete slab with wooden frame and nothing else. And it's been like that for three weeks. Well yesterday, it's been like three bajillion degrees in La, like literally three bagel and our house like I'm so frugal that when no one else is home, I don't run the main AC because it's really expensive and I'm gonna save I
have to save money. Now I don't got bred like that. Well, I didn't run the AC, so the house was like a bajillion degrees when I was going to sleep, and typically like I run my AC and my room cools down, but it wasn't like my personal AC. But my room was not cooling down. So I was overheating and I was literally on the brink of heat stroke. So I slept naked, and I never sleep naked. I never ever
ever sleep naked. I've done it a couple of times, but I was I was brave as fuck with all the spiders crawling over all over my body and shit, I'm surprised I didn't lay eggs inside of my eurethrow hole and I didn't like maybe through some shit, but I was under the covers. I made sure to get under the covers because I was like, this is a sea, like this is like exposure, Like I need to be
under the covers. Well in the morning, like it was like seven thirty, and I would like just kept waking up to sounds like right outside the window, and I wasn't I was like in a deep sleep and like rising out and like not even thinking about it and
just going back to sleep. Well, eventually I wake up at like eight thirty and I like look down and I'm like, oh, I'm sleeping on top of the comforter, completely ass naked, Like hah, that's funny, Like that's really really goofy, Like well, thank god, no one in your Josh wasn't home and barged in on me naked like da da da da da. Well, I look out of my window above the ac and there are five men at window level like ripping the roof off of the
house next door. And I know for a fact that they saw me but ask naked laying on top of my comforter.
And they saw you butt naked, nasty like a Rick James, super free, like a Rick James super free bitch.
I needed a uniform, like hey, I got rained on type shit like please like no, but they for sure saw me butt ass naked, and for the rest of the day, like I would just walk through the house and they wouldn't look at me. They would not look at me in the face. They wouldn't look at me. But not my fault, literally not my fault.
Like I love he would have taken a picture for later.
I thought about that. I was like, dude, like they fully could expose me right now, Like thought about it.
But well, the good news is we have a podcast, a podcast, and people who are normal and love themselves do not listen.
Yeah, an independent podcast, a.
Very awesome independent podcast. Oh my god. I the thing is, like, I know I'm gonna cry when we have to be back in the kitchen. Also, like Drew said, me and Drew are in separate places. I after this still have some traveling to do because me and Drew were like, you know what, we're gonna plan some like off time. We're feeling really good about what's happening, and like in our workspace right now, we're gonna plan some off time and like do our little travel like they always do
our summer travel. So I'm a plan ahead and just do that. Because I saw somebody was like, Dan, she don't play about her bag when they saw me at the Tory Birch thing. Like the day after we announced our separation because it was like, but she's got on that plane and left. No, I had to deal with all that while I was on that trip, and it was a lot, and Drew carried like a king. But we have to do another Zoom episode. And also I know I'm gonna cry when we're back in the kitchen, so it's.
Gonna be horrible, y'all if you see me crying.
I am not clip farming. I'm actually so sad and.
Oh bitch, I will be clip farming. Anything that I will be doing, it will be clip farming.
It's funny, is I feel like everybody has in a way clip farmed this on our behalf and we like, haven't. Yeah, that makes sense.
Are used of clip farming?
No, no, no no. I was like, I'm just making the joke because every time I see a video of fucking Lebron James yor like this motherfucker is always clip.
For Stephen Curry and James Jason Tatum clip farming, like.
Like doing all that ship, Like damn, you want an Emo on Fortnite so fucking bad.
You need that fucking documentary.
Does James does Lebron? James is Emo on Fortnite? Do his thing or did he come up with that.
After Uh, he's been doing that thing where he throws the ship up in the air for like two decades now, but I don't know what his EMO is on Fortnite Girl, we haven't played for night at all, especially you.
I know that shit lost my love. Like it's just they need to take that Carson out and needs to go back to a fucking shooter game. Like it's so annoying. I don't want I don't want it, and it's really sad. But they already got my money, so I don't know what more they want from me. It's not like they're dying without me. I'll come back if they give me a skin. The thing is, I wouldn't even want a skin that looks like me. I would just want the opportunity to design a skin because.
That would be our characters of the Sweatiest every time it's such good.
Like cool, what did they.
Nice?
Every time we film, I get like sweaty as fuck because I think my adrenaline starts pumping because I'm like, I need to be funny. I need to be funny. I need to be funny. I need to be pretty. I need to be pretty. I need to be pretty.
Guys, it's so hard being podcast hosts.
I know no one about how hard it is.
It's really well. I got an email that said, Hi, my girlfriend is a teacher and one of her students, a third grader drew her wearing y'all's merch. A third grader drew something somewhere went terribly wrong.
No, like a lot of y'all parents need to take your fucking knife bad the way bruh. I was just talking about this with somebody on that brand trip. I was like, we make a lot of like satirical jokes that if you know, obviously we were joking. We don't mean that shit. But then that's what scares me is I'm like, if there is, for some reason a child listening to it, I wonder how much of the satire goes over their head and they actually just believe what
we're saying. But then I'm also like, would like to think also that that's not my fuck.
I'm not your mom, bro, Like, it's not my fucking fault. You can't decipher the thirty six thousand layers of irony in every single word we said.
Third grader also on I feel bad because what if the third grader is listening, Like, why am I feeling bad about hurting a third grader's feeling.
She's queening, Like I've never seen a third grader queen harder.
Queen off with a third grader right now.
Yeah, what I was thinking in my head is it's someone's little sister that was the podcast, and the little sister like just thought that was a cool shirt.
Oh yeah, I was going to say the like older sibling probably has the merch. Okay, yeah, you're using context clues, you're figuring it out, you're fingering it out.
I'm fingering it all out. But y'all, you know what sucks balls very candidly is we recorded an episode that was supposed to go up last Friday that potentially was a top five episode of all time.
I know it was really funny. It was so when we haven't even listened to it, we will probably listen back to the episode and be like that shit was bunk as fun. But I feel like we were on such a good one.
No, I feel like every single time we record where like that was the worst thing ever, and like it's so embarrassing and our life sucks balls. But everybody left that episode being like, Wow, that's a banger, and it will literally never see the light of day. It's in the archive forever.
Hey we got episodes though, talk about lack of sustainability.
Yeah no, literally not fucking.
Our book print is like so insane, but you know it will all be okay. And that's the beauty of being Dare I say comedian is we have to shake it up as shame, you know, wake it up.
What is Tricia's husband's name? Moses, Moses, Moses and A was talking about us, and I think it was one of the It stroked my ego and it was exactly what I needed to hear, especially in that moment, and I never knew I needed that validation from anybody else.
But Moses was talking about like they were just talking about us like emergency in or calm, and Moses was just talking about how were the type of people to have a show, like a real show, and like he was just going on about how like he sees that in our cards in the future. And I mean, we've said it a billion times, but that as genuinely one of my like biggest pipe dreams.
No, that's like literally that's all I want to focus my extra energy on other than like making this transition happen smoothly, is committing ourselves to that?
Yeah, because I mean, but I think Moses, I think there's like a joke that he like predicts a lot of things, like when he talks on something or says something, it like eventually comes true. And I think he has a finger on the pulse. And I think real recognizes real,
and I do. I mean, I cannot imagine a future where that isn't like in my cards, like in my future when I think of my future, it is having our own like show, whether on stream or on HBO like whatever like that is and not like a show that I'm acting in, which will obviously happen, but a show that we created, wrote directed all that shit.
But yeah, oh my god, Well it's funny you say that because when you were talking about the Oscars or the whatever the Fox, I was like, it's crazy how nobody's ever like oh, like for the Emmys, Like no one ever talks about the Emmy's because why is the Emmys like so funny? Like the Emmys is literally to me, I never see anybody's like, oh my god, that middle and it's the Emmys, Like yeah, it is so like the kid no one cares about. And I was like, why is that embarrassing to be like I want an Emmy?
But then I was like, bruh, if we're lucky, that will be us and somebody's gonna clip that if that ever did happen and be like and this Mitchell sitting here talking about fuck the Emmys and it's gonna be my ID post that's like a mile long being like I'm huge to.
The speechless wait, but like actually, yeah, these clips are gonna go so fucking hard in the edits of us. So when we have our show like that's this, I fucking oh bruh, Like that's the see just remember this moment episode Uh wait, this is we were in the EI era, then we were in the post EI era, and now we're in the p EI era prequel EI era, y'all know, like b C PC, we're in uh, we're in PC. I don't fucking know, bro, what is it? BC?
Before Christ and then a D like after death or something like that.
Girl, you're asking the wrong motherfucker. I don't know shit about those people you're at about religious people. I don't know about what they do. They do some weird ship. They talk about ship all the time, and I don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
I'm canceling all Christians right now.
Okay, Drew Side, it.
Is like silenced you out for so much of that.
Coroner wet t shirt contest. How about a wet hat contest. I'm trying to see a woman's beautiful mind. Okay, this is not a brow summer. You're thirty two. Start a stretching routine that was from Matt the I don't know z e I p l A and her human odiodurant is kind of crazy, sleeping like GLOSSIERU and Shallotte. She's mosta virus.
No, I literally have the chiefs mossa virus. I need my fucking vaccine.
The f n JFK stands for Fortnite Randomly Radiohead when it saw the computer be like okay, okay, bitch, you eight. Imagine your card declines at rehab and they just blow cocaine in your face. Kai is so mad because I said his back shot wind smells like horse hiccups. Bitches be twenty talking about wait for my glow up. Bitch, you're about to die Tyler ann all Inya and Orian do is smoke, drink and seafood boil. Y'all some fucking pirates. I'll never forget when y'all did seafood boil on the
fucking floor of our house. Indian and Orian ordered like, literally two hundred dollars worth of seafood boil on the fucking ground, picking it too, shreds it.
Watching the whale.
Yeah, the whale. It was such a cursed vibe and it smelled shit in our house.
It smelled like, uh, he frows, it throws, so you were like it.
It smelled like crab backshots. Wait, he wants that fucking cookie so bad?
Oh my god, Guys, it's a dangerous game because if anybody makes me laugh, that's how I look at them.
But yeah, you can win Inya's heart very, very easily. But Bitch, I can't believe I almost forgot to talk about the new Dappelganger. Kai, there's a new dappelganger. Bitch. It's giving sketch to the highest degree. Like it. It is literally hard for me to convince people that I just didn't get leaked.
Is that photoshopped?
No, it's real. I've been trying to find the fucking video for so long because I was like, it would be so funny to like post or like start the video. I just sent it to the group chat. But it literally like looks like me. And the only thing that like I can say to convince people that it's not me is the gold chain. I've never worn a gold chain.
Now you had the supreme gold chain with a little oozzy.
On it over in that fucking era too, when I, yeah.
It's also your body too, Like I feel like his arms are shaped the same way, really big, he has like long biceps.
Keep talking, Okay, no, but that shit was literally really When I saw that, my heart sank and I was like, wait, is this like literally me? And I got leaked like I was recorded like doing s without my permission. But no, it's not me. I swear to God, it's not me. I swear, guys, it's not me. I swear it, and like it's just a it's just a doppelganger. Guys, it's not me. It's literally not me. So like, you don't have to keep saying it's me because it's not me. M KI, what do you have to say?
I have to say, if anybody's worried about the transition, you there's no reason to be worried. Daddy's going to take care of everything. Okay, okay, h oh, my my video stops. Yeah, well I don't know if oh are you can you guys hear me? I actually can't.
Oh he's gone, like A I know.
Wait, I just like I was complaining about back pain and I feel like relieved.
Okay, no, all right, funny joke, guys, but anyway, Yeah, Daddy's here to take care of all the technical issues.
The thing is, you say that, and I know, damn well, if anybody you were into called you that, you would freak the funk out and be like no, if.
Somebody called me that, I would turn into dust, like when Thano snaps his fingers like Spider Man. Fucking terrifying.
Okay, my media of the week. I'll do my music in a second. But I started Ironcall on the flight. I fell asleep after like the first tragic moment in it, woke up to another tragic moment and was like, WHOA, what's happening right now? Like backed it up, knocked back out, woke up to the same tragic moment, felt like I was literally stuck in a cycle and I was so scared. And then I woke back up and I was like, I need to walk up into like rinse my brain.
I was again, I know people hate what I mentioned it, bitch, I was high as.
Up on that flight back.
No, I was chewing on this, okay, because we don't have a plus ship. We don't have ads right now, you can't be doing Oh wait, was.
That an echo two k? That's an echo two k? Chapstick, look not hold it back up, cover the logo.
Oh yeah, this is so stupid.
I rewatched Across the Spider Verse again. Oh my god, it's still so good. I still cried. I was still like, wow, this feat of animation. It still had me gooped. Like I didn't see it two months ago. I was like, oh my god, I can't believe this movie. Oh so good. And then my music media is still listening to Charm by Missus Clariana Grande.
Yeah, Na, still listening.
Oh this is my favorite song ever, ten Man's by America, And then I'm listening to Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings A Horse with No Name by America and George Martin and This Eve of Parting John Hartford Perfect Day by Lou Reed You cute.
Well, I watched Aaron Brockovich and watch that. It is so good. It like genuinely made me so happy, like it was. It was like it like literally I was like euphoric. And I was sitting next to this like dude on the flight and he he was a very sweet guy. He was like a really funny character, Like he wasn't saying anything funny and he was trying to be funny and he was really really unfunny, but it was so unfunny that it was like charming and sweet. And he was like in his like late sixties or
something like that. Well, a scene came up in a movie where Aaron Brockovich is like they're called boobs and like there's context to it, but like he saw that happen in the movie and like waited for me to like move my headphone off like literally an hour later, and he was like, what did you think of the boobs part? Wasn't that really funny?
The boobs?
He said here she said, it's called boobs, And I was like, yeah, man, like it was really good, and he was like really trying so hard not to say that she was hot to me. She was like, he was like he she's like so like so good of a person, like in that movie, like she's sot like good of a person. And she Yeah, she's a good person.
But then when we were getting off the flight, you know how there's rafts in the overhead bins every time, Well, he like went up to a did you just goost that I didn't mean to?
And I think I.
Did, weaker, bro, But he pointed to one of those rafts in the overhead ben and he was he was talking to a flight attendant and he was like, wait, wait, like someone someone forgot their vote up there. And the flight attendant was like what, like what did I and he oh, he was like, oh the flight won't leave if he was like so annoyed. He was like, the flight can't leave without that. And then he was like and he just was so happy, go lucky. He was
just like, I'm genuinely jealous of his brain chemistry. But then he started recruiting everybody to vote read and I was like, girl, get on my fucking face, pervert talking about boobs and saying a girl's hot, you're a fucking pervert. But Aaron Brockovic. And then I started listening to Steely Dan and I just like clicked play on his Spotify profile and don't have any songs by name, But Steely
Dan is cunt. Like I didn't realize. I thought he was like corny or some shit, but like, I really like his music.
I'm pretty sure it's like a common thread that like art students who do music love Steely Dan. Someone was telling me that that like every art school or at every college that's like art heavy, all the kids are like Stevie Dan. It's like the equivalent to the unemployed, starving artists like Radiohead.
Oh, I see, do you have anything else to say?
Can I do media?
If it's some stupid shit?
Stupid shit, that's cool. It's like goodass music uncle Ace by Blood Orange. That's the song that plays in Challengers when they fuck.
Yeah, Okay, that's it. That's okay.
That songs good?
Have you heard it it is? Yeah?
I know it's a great song.
What do you call it?
All right?
You're taking your moment too far?
Hot Chip.
I love Hotship, I love is that the one with my yellow country teeth or whatever? I love that song, and I went on a road trip with my manager to a merch factory in upstate California, and I said, I like that song. So he proceeded to play the entire discography over and over and over on the six hour car.
Right up, That's maybe a little bit too much hot chip for me, but.
Hot ship be bisexual and lie bye.
All right, guys, thanks for listening, Thanks for sticking with us through this. Good to know you guys hated the studio. That's good to know.
Yeah, literally literally like fucking bitches. Like three of my friends texted me and they were like, yeah, like when you signed to them, Like it literally made no sense at all, Like it made no sense in my head. It was not a good fit. It was very like like it just felt like unsmart. And I was like, girl, fuck, y'all speak up like you got a pair? Like now you're saying this ba Like, girl fuck, you.
Speak up like you got a pair. That's good. All right, Well, I'm going to be incredibly gluttonous and I will be going to waffle house and then coming back and getting wingstop. So that's my.
Vibe, and I'll be taking merch photos because merch tomorrow go buy merch tomorrow. Please please, please, We're really proud of these, and we brought back this goddamn hoodie in a different colorway because are my eyes too close together?
Okay, bye, guys.
They are