she's not coming to my house

Hey, guys, just me today. Nya's feeling a little sick under the weather. She's not feeling good. Oh, there she is.

I it's it's not.

It's not that I'm sick. I just I don't want to do Christmas this year.

So, oh so you're a screw a. Yeah, you're screwed.

I'm screwged up. I'm screwged up and I'm ready to get wicked. Also, this is about to blow up the house. It's like this candle that's only meant to be sitting down and not actually carried around. And also earlier that, like today, I was convinced we had a ghastleak. But the because there's been all those like explosions and nothing at that ski resort.

M hmm.

So did you see the carbon monoxide poisoning in Virginia or Georgia? Yeah, yeah, twelve people.

Like Georgia the country.

Yeah, because I was.

Like horners at a ski resort in Georgia, like.

Sea mountains in Georgia, Jersey.

You have to get this, take it, take it, take it, Josie.

Oh, I already blew it out hot.

Well, have you like what I never? I don't know, it's not a pan.

He's scared of this pussy. He's scared me to you? Are you to me talking about you?

You to me when I'm on my period and I use the bathroom and I tell you not to go in there yet.

Yeah.

One thing about me is I will blow the bathroom up and literally get terrified at anybody who walks by because I'm like, are you going in there?

You shouldn't go in I know. She's literally like every time like she does that, She's like, don't go in there, don't go in there, And I'm like, Babe, I want to go in there. Want to smell what you had cooking?

Low Ki At this point, I like, was it today? At some point today? You took a big fucking doodoo while my vape was in the bathroom, and you were like, you're lucky I moved it like away from the toilet before I blew this shit up.

Oh it was two days ago.

I literally just went in there the second you walked out, because I was like, what am I gonna like smell his poop?

Poop?

Gives a fuck? I want my fucking vape.

Like I take silent shits, I don't. My poop never smells je poop doesn't smell at all, like legitimately it does. Yeah, I don't know what it is.

But for some reason that doesn't sound like a healthy.

It's probably not.

It's good because where's that gas going.

It's re uh seeping back into my bloodstream. But we're not talking about shit again because we always talk about ship.

But they was like this year for the podcast has been the grossest because of all your stomach ishes.

The poop year, the poop year. Aliens flopped. They flopped as fuck. I'm not even kidding. They like are in their flop arc. They took way too fucking long to reveal themselves. We waiting since twenty the drone. I'm saying that just in general, I've been thinking about it, like, bitch, I don't give a fuck, Like I really don't care. You can't make me care. These silly fucking drones in New Jersey. No one gives a fuck. Like they're looking for.

Nar way joining my side because I'm like, literally okay, And if they are there, like it's been long.

Enough, don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong, I'm gonna be gagged when they come because they will be revealed. But I'm just saying they're flopping right now.

No, I fear what they do. I'm gonna like fake, not give a fuck.

I'd be like, okay, aliens, The Aliens flop era is low key serving.

Wait what did you say?

I don't believe in aliens.

Still, did you hear gay Wig ran for pleasant president? Gay Wig ran for president and they're in their flop era.

Who's gay Wig?

Oh?

Yeah, someone clocked gay wigs.

Tea noted, No, Josie was showing me his fucking likes and it was greening me out because I was like, I can't believe we live under surveillance society and I don't give a fuck because the amount of videos I get people like.

Falling, being weird, being crazy, like take it all, like keep all the data as long as I get that.

Once that ends, yeah, once my cat video stream ends, like it's cooked, like cause I really like once every month. I just need to like recentralize myself and like restabilize my emotions. And I just interact with every single cat video I see on my feed, and I get little baby cute little kittens. And also something that's not talked about enough is that cats with their butthole, stinky fucking tuna, nasty fucking fish breath, lick themselves clean, and they smell like fucking roses.

I know they smell so good.

Also, when a zul opens his mouth near me, brah, it literally like sing you my fucking eye like that, and it makes me sometimes it stinks bad enough that I get him off me, Like even if he's being cute, don't put your mouth in my face.

Don't drop that dunt that.

Uh, why you're doing so many like references from.

Fine, I don't know, they're just coming out of me. I just can't stop coming. The memes just really can't stop coming, like noted frog sipping tmoji.

No, wait, what were you saying yesterday? Wait? Yesterday you kept repeating one that was.

Like making me crack up another satisfied customer. Wait, insert that meme. Kay, that's like my favorite fucking picture ever.

Fuck, I'm not gonna oh, never mind. Mind.

You said a name and that's what it was. You said, like an old name that I had heard you say in a long time.

Wait, whisper it, Lauren Giraldo. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Lauren Giraldo. But it was referencing who Camilla Cabello. We were talking about that Lemon song, but weren't they a man together? Fire, Like Lauren Giraldo and fucking Camilla Cabeo were in Five Sauce together.

Oh, oh my god, oh my god.

Wait wait wait, because now I think we are thinking of even more different people, because I was thinking of the girl who lives in Miami who got pregnant.

No, no, no.

Wait wait Laura Giraldo. Is that not her name?

That is a girl's name, But Lauren Giraldo is also in Five saus what's on? It's like Vibe Vibe girl. It's like some shit like oh the fifth Harmony.

Fifth Harmony Lauren.

Oh my god, dude, Like I think our generation was gonna have earlier on say Waitamentia.

Because there's too much ship we consume on a day to day basis to remember.

Oh yeah, see that's still not Lauren Giraldo.

Bitch, how do you say that? Luca Guadalajara.

Oh did you see the clip of him talking about call me by your Name? About the nut scene?

No?

I need to play this because it literally is cracking me up.

I was like, damn, I love artists because y'all are just fucking weird as fuck, because the tone of this sentence when we.

Were doing called me by your name, and Eliot is as masturbated on the pitch. Then he has falling as fallen asleep, and then Oliver shows up and they have this moment of conversation.

It's a bit salacious. Oliver eats the pitch.

With the coump. It seems to be another heightened moment of sex, and then eventually the both of them confessed each other that they are really desperate at their perspective.

That but yeah, he like he's so just nonchalantly talking about like the most infamous scene in modern movie.

History, but not even that, like this, I think that movie and like that scene.

I actually think, if you really think about it, it is.

Such an interesting way to show like sexual tension between two characters.

But I don't know if I would ever.

Be able to do with it on the peach and then nuts in the bath water drinks like like what if you what if you did that?

Like okay, the bath water ship, like.

Enough time, salt burn sucked, dick and ball hit enough time. I never saw all aren't fucking with Barry Keyogan right now, like nasty ill ill ill man.

Yeah, that movie sucked.

I'm actually so on Sabrina Bina like us imagining us doing like a pop culture podcast.

So then Barry Keyogan cheated on Sabrina Carpenter. Oh my god, right, yes, saw burn sug Dick and Balls. Don't give a fuck about that movie. Never saw it, so I really can't talk. I don't give a fuck.

And then I think everybody we know didn't like it. So now it's just.

Like Barbie flopped, Like Barbie sucked, like I never saw it. Either Harry Potter or the whole series sucks. Never say that's.

Too far that Harry Potter is actually fucking disgusting.

It looks like you're in Harry Potter right now.

Oh their swag was superio.

Oh yeah, you kind of look like Dumbledore a little bit with the with the hat.

You look like Dobby. Bit you give Dobby? I lo he do feel like you give job.

Of the Hut.

I actually feel like Dobby when I get out of the soda and I'm like.

Wait, job at Ya's so job at the Hut? Coded.

I almost said something that if like the public heard me say it, it would say so much about my person.

Hud say it.

Oh, actually I think I've said it on the podcast before. That that freaky ass scene with Joba the Hut and Princess Lana. I was like, damn, this is freaky. As a kid, I was like, wait.

Like like you were into it.

I was just like, are they gonna fuck? She's being really sexy?

Wait? Wait scene when like I haven't seen Star.

Wars dance and I was like, as a kid, I was like, is she gonna get naked?

Like what is she about to do? I thought this was Star Wars.

Oh the gold bikini scene. Yes, this is literally you like, actually.

This is not the back seat in certain sat photo.

Next the job of the Hut photo because that's literally twin. That's twin right there.

Okay, did you see this though? That's my life?

Better not do me? Wait, that was actually kind of impressible. That was kind of good And I can't follow.

You up because my throat is so dry.

No, Siah, he said it was really, really, really good. He said it was like basically better than he could ever do.

Josiah, who's like songs from Wicked? Do you think you could sing easier?

What Cynthia does or Oriana Arianna.

Yeah, fuck, I'm not kidding.

I I wish I could watch Wicked in my house already. And it's actually kind of pissing me off that it's not.

No, okay, I was just making sure I have this big hole.

E Drew, I saw your asshole for a second.

I'll blur, but that you're actually well, you.

Actually are so sustainable for this.

Really was that my Christmas present?

No, you get your Christmas present a little later and in you two.

I don't want one.

I want that ship coming house. She is not coming to my house.

That's our new thing. She's not coming to He's.

Not coming to my eyes. It's shoddy. They talking about Ashley Trevino.

He's getting me an Airbnb. If not, I'm gonna be saying at Shaddy Bay's house.

She's not coming to my house.

Not coming to my.

House somebody I'm not that close to coming to my house. Kind of feels like a hosted situation.

It's really really like it is navigating such scary territory. I feel like people who just invite people to hang out for the first time to their house directly.

It feels like something like nasty is gonna happen like literally though, like I don't know, like.

Something food, like someone's gonna have sex.

Yeah, or just like spooky vibes like creepy energy.

Well yeah, well that's the difference too.

I will say if like, if it's somebody who I find attractive, oh, I'll invite them over, like if that's what I'm looking.

For, like coming through to my house to house.

If not, if it's just a friend, I'm like, she's not coming to mie.

Oh bitch. You know what we've been saying way too much? Just vote, just fucking Then I realized there's like so many ways to say it, like the word bitch. You can be like you fucking bitch, or you can be like bitch, like yeah, bitch, what the fuck? Like literally so many different ways, and it's just all the inflection. You can say just vote the same way like just vote, like just vote, or you can say just vote, damn.

Or you can even bring it lower and be like just vote, just like, just vote. I feel like both of us when we do that, just vote.

I guess you could do that with like any word like just vogue to fucking just to adult idiots. Babe, good babe, wow.

I mean yeah, we just went over annunciation basically, so somebody out there learned something.

Somebody was like, my eyes are open.

You could say things so many different ways, like well, I don't like Drew because he's gay.

What Like I could say I don't like you because you're a fat fucking monster, yucky fat one. I thought you job Jaba.

I'd be down for.

No.

I was gonna say I'd be down for the nickname Jaba, but.

Just just literally just well, TikTok is getting banned. But it's kind of starting to piss me off because y'all are acting like I'm gonna let that happen, Like that's just not happening. If I'm in the you're gonna stop that. I'm just saying it's not gonna happen, and I have my way.

Are you saying that the way you say big things are coming or like, well, no, big things are always coming, Like that's just.

Like, yeah, things are things are always happening.

Actually, big things just can't stop coming. Big things just can stay keep going.

Uh.

No, TikTok is getting banned as fuck, and like, actually I don't think it really is. I was just gonna like have a moment where I was like, it's getting banned, but it's like literally not like I I will put a million dollars on it that it won't.

Yeah, I just don't believe it will.

But then in this like chance that it does get banned, all I think about is I remember I thought I was the end of the world when like vine was dying down, and even before TikTok popped off, I feel like Twitter was starting to die down and people were moving to ig and ig was starting the plateau, and then TikTok blew up. So I feel like there will be something else, And that's what I'm interested in, is like how many stinky, nasty, fucking wealth hoarding motherfuckers are.

Like I have no idea, Like here's the new thing. I feel like we're gonna start seeing bitches post paid con that's gonna make mine.

I'm posting on my new app like Instagram. I'm sorry, you did it best, Like I take back everything I ever said talking about you stealing everything from every other fucking yeah and ever they did it the best, Like I'm tired, Like TikTok cannot integrate.

Feathers Snapchat, You're not cutting it. No, Snapchat is fucking gross. How thats scary to be?

My opinion will change if Snapchat starts fucking paying me. How about that?

You don't you've never you don't even have that app on your phone right now, But that's what I'm saying.

Sure, I think that reels need to chill because I swear I see like borderline gore videos.

Oh no, I see people die on reels, like literally every single.

They want to use.

Reels are scary because only the men I know say that ship all of the girls I know.

I've never had a really the algorithm thing because I don't interact with any of them. I'll be scrolling and I'll see someone get run over and scroll by really quickly, but I still get fed them. But I think it just like knows that like men are more likely to consume like gore content because like men are evil, like and it's really barbaric and it's like blood memories. It's like let's go to war and kill people like like epigenetic like for real, Like it's fucking creepy.

Like everyone is so fucking bored.

But like if they do get rid of it, I think something new will like replace it, and also I kind of think it might be good.

Oh, it'll like for my anxiety.

It'll be net positive for everyone's psyche. But I am really worried about like the businesses on AirLand.

I'm worried about the businesses. And also like it has done.

It's come with a lot of negatives, but it has shifted so much and it is I mean I feel like that's why, duh, they want to get rid of it, because like.

There's too many conversations that have being had that they don't want to be had.

But they're like, do we really need to fight for this? Like I get your data from everything else, like.

It's a data golden mind baby. But yeah, I'm not gonna let that as you happen, Like just wait.

Have you noticed when you're on TikTok and then you don't look at the screen, it runs an ad because like if you're away from your phone, that'll run an ad because you can't skip it. Have you ever had that happen?

No?

But that's yeah, I know. They play ads at the end of videos now.

Sometimes really whenever I'm like watching something and I put it down to like wash dishes, it'll play an ad.

Wait, you wash dishes? Yeah, of course that's what girls are for, bab.

No, I think men should be doing that.

Actually, okay, Like, she's not gonna have sex with you, bro?

Is she really not?

Really? Is it?

Bro?

Like weird ass? When you just shift in your voice, was like, she's really.

Brody, bro, she really is not gonna bang you.

Bro?

Y'all.

I saw someone.

Do y'all.

Remember when people were writing Harambe in president, Like people really did that? Like, no, we did that, you did that? No, people wrote Harambe in for presidency, which is like, actually fucking crazy, first of all, but then I've been seeing a lot of conversation around Harambe recently. That's what I'm getting into it. Let me get into it. I saw someone say something that absolutely shook my shook me to my core and blew my mind. And I pray it's

Okay, well the kid didn't kill Harambe like he did.

Oh he fell into the fucking enclosure. It's on him the butt.

No, but I'm like.

That kid's what like seven, though or eight?

In my head in the video he's literally like this small.

No he was.

He was like being drivelay. That's actually the funniest thing to ever happen on the internet. Like him being dragged by.

Her so fucked up, Like was he injured? After that? I almost feel like we shouldn't been talking.

No, the kid was fine. The monk, like the gorilla died like that's the team.

It was almost ten years ago. No way, Yeah, this person could technically make the videos.

Be twelve or thirteen.

No, he has to be like May twenty eighth, the day after my birthday in twenty sixteen.

Yeah, wait, you were forty eight back then.

No, No, ten years ago, I was probably like eleven. I was probably around eve.

The kid, yeah, I think he was two. He looked like a two year looks like a two year. So he was fine.

Yeah.

No, I'm just literally laughing because I have such like cognitive dissonance because of so many of these things, Like in my head, it is a meme and it's not real at this point, like it is surpassed being anybody involved.

Like the kid who kicked that Krispy Kreme sign back at it again at Krispy Kreme.

That's the I looked in to see what happened after, and there's really no like conversation about what happened after, and there's no way to track that kid down.

So I'm like, that person's just a lot.

That's literally my favorite People video of all time, and that is literally something I think about all the time, like what was the aftermath? Like did he go to jail? Like did they put the sign back up? And just like no questions asked, just like keep moving because like really, what fucking happened? But ah do that video is so good, but there's so many things like that, like what happened after?

All because Monsters University.

Which is there Monsters Inc.

Two?

I think really, if there's not, that's a Mendela effect. But there is Monsters University. For sure.

There's a sex. That's how I remember that. There's a second one.

There's no way that passed, like even at that time. So anyways, No, okay, I was right.

There is no Monsters Inc. Two, Monsters Ink and then Monsters Universe.

But that's what I'm saying. I need, Like I saw, I watched Monsters Ink two times in three days. It's literally one. It's a master won't blue one is kind of no, he's literally the hottest. He's literally swy, is hot as fuck, like I don't give a fuck like he's been Are there any cosplayers? Is Sully? We're looking this up right now?

Well no, like I don't need to see a man acting like that, like that's pushing it.

Okay, No, he eats.

I almost feel like we can't put that in because he laughed at me the way I just laughed at that man, Like this is it?

I would boo, I would be a green I would if I was green.

I would I ordered like all the little decorations and stuff.

I gotta finish talking about monster sinc. So I think movie sequels should be the happy ending because I also watched Lelo and Stitch, another masterpiece. But oh god, I'm like literally about to start crying thinking about the final scene, like the final five minutes of Monsters Ink when Boo is in the room and like she's like kitty and she runs back to the door and swings it open and the door is no.

Toy Story two basically did.

This Toy Story two. Fucking Toy Story two is the worst movie I've ever seen, literally the worst vie because I watched that one as well.

Wait, actually you're being serious right now.

I hate Toy Story too. Oh. I love the I love the boot getting painted. No, no, I love the boot getting painted. And I love the scene where he fixes Woody up because there's so many like sensory moments in it that are remember from my childhood. But like the concept, like it's focused on Buzz Lightyear too much, and I fucking hate Buzz light Year. I'm like, I feel like that was.

Almost like the gag of it.

Yeah, It's like he's like this overpowering person who runs people over and he has.

To learn to chew Wow.

Yeah that makes sense.

Yeah, there is like a lot of scenes from that.

If you actually like watch and listen, you might find that every movie has something to teach you.

Hm hmm. You can use that for future reference if you want.

Get out.

No thing, yes where I like way from him and I was like, oh, I need to go wash my face and he's like you're gonna wash your face? And I was like yeah. He was like good girl, and I was like it'll stop.

And I walked to his room, and everything I did he kept saying it.

And I was like, sit on the edge of my bed, good girl. Wait kay, sit there, good boy. Blush talking to the mic and blush, good boy.

The best is a clever girl.

Clever clever girl, clever girl, Charles beaten, covered girl. Actually, just.

Wait, he really fucked that ship up.

I've never seen another boy like.

I think many cover boys. Or wasn't Bach that like one with the eyebrows.

Bock from fucking Wicked? Who is Bach?

No, the one with the eyebrows that does that dance.

I don't know what you're talking about.

No, it really was a moment. It was a moment. It was a moment like mountains moved, mountains moved. Yeah, there was an apparently lands filled, lands filled, holes unfilled. There was apparently a tornado in San Francisco, a quote unquote tornado.

Bye bye bye.

I saw the videos. Y'all really need to get a grip, Like, if you have seen the horrors that I've witnessed and even been a part of, claiming that that was a tornado is almost disrespectful to me.

You've seen the things we've seen.

Yeah, that's literally what I said to True like he brought it up to you, was like, oh my god, there was a YouTube like there was a tornado in California.

He was like, yeah, but did you see the videos? I was like, oh, I know.

They were kind of bunk, and he goes, if only they knew the kind of things we've seen. And we are both talking about imagining someone saying that publicly only about.

YouTube videos because that's what we've seen.

Is yeah, I should have clarified. Yeah, what I've seen is so many YouTube videos. I feel like I've.

Seen every video there is of a tornado. At this point, I'm down to like pictures from eighteen ten of a weird dust bunny.

Yeah. No, literally, I couldn't. If you show me a frame of a tornado, I could tell you where it's from in the day.

Yeah, he has done that. It's really weird. Somebody sad.

Now.

I was gonna say, somebody made us feel crazy in person for liking tornadoes, and I haven't been watching as many many more because I'm like, I.

Guess really ruined the fun. Suck the fun out of it, mister Scrooge, Like.

I don't understand what's bad about a tornado. There's nothing.

It's like nothing is bad about it. It's literally listening and learning nothing is bad about it. Well, I just realized, oh wait, no, no, something we really need to talk about.

Is.

Uh the fuck you guy? Like, what is it that the fuck you guy says? The fuck you guy? Can I can I as a cheeseburger.

Says that that ship something something I said?

I said with joys, Yeah, something something I said with joys. Wow, I haven't stubbed my toe and five years said with the joys man, like whatever it is like this, I can I go to toilet please? I asked tacher? Fuck you said my teacher, whose was actually the fuck you guy? Like that's so millennial, so bad?

Also, I don't think it's aging. I think somebody.

I think it's those two second horror sentence like two second scary story and then some random dudes like reading them. Because there's like this subreddit where there's like two sentence horrors.

But fuck you said the fuck you man?

Like ill, Well, that's the thing is, like it's unfunny and like it's unscary, and someone submitted it being dead serious and so that's what I think. That's what it is. But yeah, let me go to this subreddit.

Should I crush your toes right now?

Oh?

I already have crushy toe syndrome?

You like you're not using that right because.

I know what crushy toe syndrome is. But I anything any pains around my toes?

I know what crushy toasted your miss like they no one says that, so you actually don't know what it is.

So sentence too horror. Let's sort by the top. Wait, I wish I could sort by top in real life. I wish I could sort by top on grinder? What is grinder? I was playing with my boobs. No you're not, said knife guy. Then a brick fell on my cock. Okay, random like I know, it's like the scariest part of the Internet because it's like you're literally not funny, Like it's just not funny, but.

It feels like a sound that people are using right now, and in ten years it's gonna get made fun of. Like I part took in some TikTok sounds that I now look back and I'm like, that's cringey that I did that, but whenever I was young, But now I can see one of those from a mile away.

I told my therapist I watched a girl drowned when I was fifteen. I could have saved her, but I was too scared. I know, she said, as she got up to lock the door. That was my daughter.

That's like, I just woke up from a crazy dream. This needs to be a Moviees likes.

I come in the sink. It does not stop. I sink in the come.

That's the Saltburn dialogue.

Or really like really bad dude.

The year is actually almost ober.

I know time is speeding up, time is dilating. I really do think it's either the information age that we're living in. Also, don't even get me tarts, don't even get me started about AI super intelligence y'all. If we keep going at the rate we're going at now, in the next ten years, it'll be over for us.

That just means I'm gonna kill me.

So I'm out of topic.

Oh is that it for you?

Yeah? Well I got one more. I got one that got hella. I'll do my last one. Guys. I was going through my TikTok TikTok shop orders and something came across my mind and heart and it dredged up beautiful memories of the past and I wish we could return to such a sweet time. And I went to go reorder it, but the shop has been closed down for what I'm assuming it's mold poisoning or killing people. But I saw the spicy bowl on TikTok again and my order complete form.

So annoying because I was like, oh my god, am I about to get to open a gift like I was making it about me.

I was like, wait, this is gonna be so cute.

That's what you're fucking talking about guys today?

You do you guys?

Both Drew has.

This issue where if he gets complimented like one too many times in a day, he just gets so used to it and he basically asked for compliments for the rest of the day, and I'm calling you out.

Well, I think you guys both look great, and I think the set looks great.

Thank you.

Yeah, and you're cooked.

Oh and it's gonna blow.

And it's like that one York video I've heard at this stage explosions boom and then add an exploit.

Okay, okay, I think Luigi needs to get let go because there's a few more CEOs to deal with, because if I see another burger king comment on a video of a girl trying curl cream, I'm gonna freak the fuck out, Like why are like burger king when they auto though, like trying to get the top comment on just random like things that have nothing to do with the brand.

And I saw the artists. Yeah, I've seen an auto zone comment. I swear to fucking.

God, like I'm blown away that people are still they are still entertained by.

Yes still yeah, oh my good they comment dude like yeah, why.

Taco Bell tried that shit out on me? First, By the way, I'm literally not slim jym in Taco Bell.

Yeah, over my literally in your comments on ID they were inside of my cock, like they were literally up my ass like it was insane.

They were obsessed with me, and same with Red Bull, like.

Drew was so annoyed because Drew wanted to block them but felt bad for whoever was doing their dog.

Yeah, Like I was like, bitch, I'm not gonna like ruin your job, like you can meet your quota for how many likes you get or whatever the fuck, but like, don't play with pay me Like.

It's also just annoying because in my head, I'm like, okay, well now what, Like I don't think anybody's gonna see the comment in my comment section from fucking like Toys r Up.

But it still gets like forty thousand likes. People like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that Burger King is commenting.

Yeah, and but it's literally because I guess I don't know they're like anything as an ad anything like just get out of the comments, get out of the comment I think, honestly, so just not making social media.

I know you exist like.

A rat does need the greatest. All publicity is good. Publicity moment was Gorilla Glue hair girl when she put that shit in her hair. I guarantee their stock prices rose by forty five percent, like in a minute, Like they're probably not a publicly traded company, but you know what I mean, Like that shifted things. Dude.

I feel like we were talking about that like as a society for a year straight, Like.

I'm still talking about it in my head.

That is still and it has fully made such a debt in the culture that I feel like there were a lot of like hair glue companies and eyelash companies that changed their bottles and their labels because they didn't want anybody to get.

It mixed up and like they can get something else.

And also it cracks me up because I think the gel she was originally going for is literally a gel my dad used to use called like moscos or something Marilla.

Yeah, like it's gorilla' sna but like.

My dad used to call it moscos because that's like boogers and it's Gorilla's not.

So in my head, I'm just.

Like, why is that the gel she was using in the first place, Like it feels.

Like she was just like in my head, I always imagined her like being like damn, I cheated the system, Like this shit is going to stay for a week's trade, Like oh, and I don't have to take it out, like don't have to do my hair every single day.

Yeah, that is like I can't even get on her because that's the kind of stupid shit I used to do. And that's why my hair was fried all the fucking time because I would do dumb shit to my hair. Like I tried to do a straight perm on my hair after I bleached it once.

The strings.

I was like tired of the heat damage. Oh, I'll just like permit it. Literally, like I had chunks of hair rolling down my back.

Which is insane. The thing about I used to just literally burn my hair off. My head did knock the time, Like it.

Really did not. And that was pre K eighteen era.

Oh that was pre everything that was Literally I remember you like wouldn't be able to get certain hair coloring things at the store without having a Sally license. Like there was like a bunch of there was no hair color removal that you could buy if you didn't have like a license or something.

And I used to steal it. I sure did.

I fucking stole it because they were just these slim lorel packets and I would just go and like slip one like into my like hoodie sleeve and then I would like buy the rest of my stuff.

Che they weren't even expensive.

They were I think they were like ten dollars.

Bitch, just tell me that shit literally.

Like so annoying.

Why is it on the shelf, Like I don't give me started.

I don't like Sally Beauty and guess what I feel like Sally Beauty fell off, Like nobody's going there anymore, Like wow, I've been to because.

Nobody knew you because everything is locked up.

Like, well, no, it's because we got Amazon.

No, it's because you can't buy anything without a license. It's like behind a license. Yeah. Well something very um, very very something I need to do, very need that. There is a plane crash simulator in Melbourne, Australia, And.

I did you, like practice how you were going to pronounce that?

No, that's how you pronounce it, I know, but.

Like that's how Australian people pronounce it.

That's how you pronounce it.

I feel like Americans say Melbourne.

Yeah that's wrong, and I'm right, okay, how would you practicing? How would you say Melbourne Melbourne? If you say Melbourne three times, a magpie comes out of the mirror and eat your eyeballs. Fuck Melbourne, bro fuck fuck.

When you say it like that, it just sounds like a name though, like Melbourne Melbourne. Like what's not the accent Lowky?

All those accents do kind of sound the same.

You could. You could put four people in front of me that speak different dialects Australian, Irish, British and whatever.

Fourth one a Irish accent.

Yeah, Like I like there's like a few actresses like uh, Sarsha Ronan, however you say her name, Oh.

Yeah, Ladybird, Like I love her accent.

It's like show.

I'm making it, like to something that's not.

But there's that fucking plane crash simulator that I really need to experience. But it's one of those things where I'm like, do we really need this? Like this is like really like not okay, but.

Like even from me, I'm like, that's pushing it. You're really pushing it because.

Have you seen those trips?

What are we talking about?

But I guess it's like what I said last week, like the Haunted house ship if you really.

Think about it, like what are we doing?

Like we're stimulating like being chased and hunted down by a d like a chainsaw, like you have fake blood smells and gut smells everywhere, like it really is freaky, dieky.

Have you seen there's this like traveling like almost haunted house thing for churches, but it's like the rapture. It must be like deep South like Central America.

Need to go to that because of anything like those mega church Christmas shows.

Oh it's me the fuck. I know that shit looks lit. Like I'm sorry of pretending like I don't want to be there, but like that shit looks church.

Really fucking sorry they brought the fireworks inside and Santas flang over.

If I saw before I go in there, Bitch, I seriously think I will believe in magic.

I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending like that's not lit, like obviously, like it's not lit, like we know that, but like like, yeah it looks funny. Well, it's just.

I feel like I'm really fearmongered. And some of it is based in a reality for what the next year of life will look like. Oh, if I'm going out, I'm going out with a bang. I will be in spiritual psychosis. All of twenty twenty five is good.

I mean having the dast time of my life. I'm going Easter.

It's going yeah, movie, It's a movie on Easter.

I'll be celebrating all the holidays this year because I feel like it's genuinely my last year to live.

So what's the first holiday of the year.

January sixth? The Insurrection Be There be Square. We're turning up y'all. Wait, hold on, no, that's on Christmas.

I was gonna say the Wicked sing along in the theaters. That'll be a movie.

There is something else happening on Christmas. Let's just say it. Takeover a Christmas Day? Takeover by Moir.

Okay, what does that mean?

Oh?

Something big is coming?

Oh shit, really, that's gonna be crazy. That's the best Christmas present I remember.

It's going to be really special. But those traveling raptures are like literally, like every.

Time you say it, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking?

And yeah, it's exactly what it sounds like. They set up a haunted house.

Like I can grasp what a rapture really entails.

It's like everybody that was good to God and God loves like gets sucked up into heaven and then everybody else He's not coming to my house.

That's literally that TikTok is so funny we need to insert it.

But they travel to these like churches in the middle of America like and set up like a haunted hay ride in like a haunted house, and you pay like fifteen dollars to go inside, and it simulates like the rapture, like it's like crashed. So it's like these.

All but for like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're walking through exactly and there's like a there's literally there, there's a whole in the.

Ground walking yeah, I'm paying to walk.

Yeah, And then there's a hole in the ground where there's like a devil like grabbing scare actors and throwing them into hell. Like it's really really crazy, and it's it's the scariest. It literally is terrifying, and like if you are not mentally stable, like if you're kind of destabilizing, do not go to that because it will really really fuck you up because it's scary as fun. But did you.

Also have those I'm just like, I think I have very existential and like scary, anxiety inducing thoughts.

But at the end of it, it is not that fucking deep.

It really is I'm gonna go, Like, am I do? I? Really? Do I have a choice?

Yeah?

Like if I have a choice or not, like honestly, just.

Also like hell seems like, I mean, Heaven's kind of seems like a prison to me because like you're just happy all the time, like you like that seems cooked and you're like trapped in like this.

And they're not selling podcasts and.

There's no weed. There's no weed, there's no oak. It's for me to do. Like it's really like actually cooked up there, Like I think pure euphoria twenty four to seven sounds like a genuine nightmare because like that's what heroin addicts go through and they literally all want to die. So anyways, have y'all seen the the other thing? Did y'all school do this where it was like a drunk driving accident and they brought out like crashed cars. Oh yes, in my school.

I thought about that since it happened.

Really trauma like inducing, like really really scary. But I was still drunk driving. What was that sound?

Wait? What did you just say nothing before?

No, I wasn't drunk driving. Oh I don't play with that shit like that shit's literally not.

Funy They did it. They the girl was like covered.

In blood like Carrie style.

Yeah, and they like carried her.

Through did they have the jaws of life like cutting her out of the car?

I don't remember that part. I just vividly remember the blood.

Mmmm. And I wash y'all schools were like being freaky deaky as fuck with you.

My school did not do that.

Well.

We did a foot shoot and I look really really fucking hot in it, and I can't talk about it, but just know I literally look good. Yeah.

We were like screen mirroring the pictures and we were both like we were, oh, we look good.

Like I literally look good as shit in them. But the first shot of me of the day, they had me in these really really short shorts and I didn't think to wear boxer briefs. I wore Drew Max new boxers. Snow Pond. Literally, go check them out. I swear to god, I get like compliments in the locker room wearing these boxers. It's Snowpond co. Please go buy them all because they're so cute. I actually don't because I want them for myself.

I Actually that's funny because I got this random like drop box link, but and I thought it was somebody's like needle ball, like that got thrown in dirt, and like, no.

That was my scrotom. Yeah that was Yeah, that was my scrotum. Ill scrotum.

Oh that is so disgusting.

Yeah, I have balls. I have a wiener, actually I really do.

That is so nasty, Like it really upsets.

Me, Like I have a wiener in balls. Oh well, a dude got flown full paid trip, a fully paid trip to Antarctica. He was a flat earther, and flat earthers have.

This idea that so it pays to be an m.

No exactly, That's what I was saying. I was like, bitch, I think the Earth is flat, Like I don't think Hawaii is real, Like me out the Hawaii or whatever, like, bitch, I don't give a buck, Like I don't, it's not real. But there was a dude that got flown out to antire.

You are a crazy person.

I don't think Bali is real. Fly me out. But there was. He's a flat earther, notorious flat earther like goes live on YouTube every single day talking about how the Earth is flat, and he got flown out by this dude to like go prove it to everyone that it was flat. And they have this idea that since the Earth is flat, the sun has to set in Antarctica, but technically there's like a twenty four hour sun in Antarka to Antarctica this time of the year, which completely

Like, boo you you fucking chill like you I want to see the video because themagine it does look like the fucking moon landing video.

Because then and then he was like everyone in the comments was like, it's a green screen. You're not actually there, it's a green screen. And then he brought out like green screen props and he was like, if I was standing in front of a green screen, this would be keyed out. But I'm not in front of a green screen. And he was like, it's a blue screen. He was like, bitch, I'm wearing a blue jacket. Like literally, what are you talking about? No, I'll find it.

Stopped fucking playing with me.

Twenty four hours sun flat? I mean also, Millie Bobby Brown, I think I'm a flat fa.

Like, can you clarify is there a twenty four hour son? And whether or not you have seen yourself personally yet there is twenty four hour son and I have seen it personally, yes, So at this point, I've been here for over twenty four hours. The sun has not set. I've personally been here since four pm yesterday. The sun has not set. Not only has it not set, Bro, it's like it stays pretty high up in the sky. Now. The question is is it too high? That's the good question.

They were trying to be like, it's not a real she is like losing it.

There's something really sad about that.

Crazy.

I'm extremely tired. I'm honestly ready for this twenty four I've already seen the sun in the sky for twenty four hours. We've been here for twenty four hours. It's gonna stay in the scot Brother like it's this, it's.

She's not coming to my hand yet.

I almost feel bad.

It's what I'm.

Saying, and it must feel crazy to.

Like in my head, I try to understand the timeline of how you get so wrong and know so much about the wrong thing, And I'm like, it feels like power shock of knowing information nobody else knows that you get to go tell other people, so then you want to know as much about that information, so that when you tell people, you gag them and it's like, wow, you're actually really smart. I can't I've ever heard that. Whatever, And then it just goes so far where I feel like a lot of flat.

Earthers and people who lie in those grounds.

They do get to a point where they're like, oh, I think I like, I think I'm on the wrong side, Like I actually don't think this is real anymore. But they're like, I need to double.

Charlie because I've already gotten too Who Charlie.

Kirk, the ugly guy from the video.

Yeah, with a really tiny face and the teeth in the gums. Yeah, he's like loudly wrong and knows he's the one with a smile. It's just all rage bait at a certain point, like they just make money off of it. But you like this guy, I think wholeheartedly like believed it, and it wasn't like rage bait. It wasn't about making money. I mean he that was his job was being a flat earther, and he was like, fuck,

He starts to feel like a like a new era, like gambling.

Yeah, yeah, it's like, oh, watch, watch, watch when it comes out that I'm right, all of y'all will be so bad and I'm willing to stand you forever.

True. Don't you always say that the there's like definitely no guy that looks like the Internet or inside out Dad. You're always like, there's definitely no way that that exists. Yeah, So just saying in case somebody wants to why, no, no crew's an inside out Dad Denier.

Yeah, if you're an dad, if you look like him, prove me fucking wrong by coming into my fucking bed and coming over and over and over to my bed.

Control yourself.

Okay.

I think Tiny Desk is so fucking awesome, and they have.

Fully replaced because there was a time where it was really hard to find live albums and like live recordings that were cool and interesting for artists because that had kind of faded out. I feel like after vhs is and DVDs, that whole era of things faded out, and we still got documentaries about musicians, but just like a good live recorded album. And I love Tiny Desk because

Like the Doch Desk.

The Dochi one is like so so good, it's so fun, Like I've been listening to that one over the album. And also I decided, I don't know that it's a bad thing to say that you like someone hearing them live rather than their album, Like do you think that's a mean thing to say? I feel like I've had artists friends who get offended by that because they're like, what the fuck? But I'm like, to me, that's such

The album more.

Yeah, that makes sense.

But I feel like I've had someone in my life one time be like that's so offensive, and I was like, my.

Bad, my bad, Eh.

Drew sayah illah, that is like really gross.

That is like.

I know, I know. I also have no desire to hurt my gay followers. I am not gay, and even if I decide to try, at best, I would be bisexual. Just keeping it real, guys love you if they talk behind your back art, that's a good one. My dig has led me to places I wouldn't even go with a gun, and then it's a silent hill picture.

That one is so good.

Girls nowadays be like I got five kids, Brayden, Hayden, Jayden, Cayden, and Zaden. I'd be like, well, damn Okayden.

Bo okay.

Imagine having sex in the nineteenth century. Oh my god, you spend fifteen minutes unbuttoning six hundred and fifty buttons only to get a kouochie that hasn't been washed since last week's river bath. That was a tweet from freelance Trash. I'm done with crystals. I need a gun. No, really, like those all came from Anna Winter. Ye oh wait, oh cool.

This has been out of focus for I don't know how long.

No, it racks focuses. It's broken now it's been cho.

That was scary.

Umm.

You ever walked by a bush and just pull a leaf off of it?

Yes?

And then we'll just we'll just insert this meme because I think it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen, and not enough people are talking about it. And also this one Quondll Dingle. Do you know where Kwondell Dingle came from?

No, I have no idea what that is.

Like picture Kwondell Dingle. It was someone's like username for their Microsoft computer and someone posted it on Instagram and said, who the fuck's goofy ass name is this? Bruh? And his name was Kwondale Dingle, and then it became Kwondale Dingle from like.

The I always thought.

Dingle's so cooked, Like, how did that happen?

We're like done, We're done, Josie. Can you show me that one video of the guy playing guitar on the bus?

My ass dead ass thought that was what Apple testing was? Is that not so red was.

Like until I saw this photo, I still thought that was what it was like.

I s was like, yeah, that's what they do, this one, this one that to me, it's wait the honking of the Lords that tell me and set all.

Are you fucking kidding me? Like I love cameras.

I'm so happy here, like.

Imagine like the thing I'm wearing.

But like the person who owned this originally they were bored ass fun I.

Never saw though, They've never seen a screen, and I'm so happy.

I guess like, actually, this episode has brought me my Christmas joy.

And I want a new iPad.

Really you have a good ass iPad that I got you?

Okay, fine, yeah no, But I also want to box one.

I know, like I literally I'm not If.

You wanted to get me a box and let me box it and reset it, I'd be like, like that's something fun.

It is something so special about opening an Apple product on Christmas that like not enough people are talking about.

I don't feel like it has the same sentiment before oh.

A twenty fourteen sixteen like that era opening a MacBook.

Like opening an iPod touch and it was the color you wanted.

La la la la that's what this sounds like, this set. La la la La la the girl.

Yeah, I can't do that Gilmore girls, La la ding ding ding dingla.

Girl.

I think it's like when they transition.

Yeah, yeah, this is very feist coded. It's very fast, like one oh.

One, two three four each, like another song from that album from them.

Well, Happy holidays. The Liberals made it problematic to say, Mary Christmas, Mary fucking Christmas. Shout out, y'all.

Thanks for you guys so much for I keep feeling like it's the end of the year episode, and I think it's because we put so much like little like cute work into the set. It felt like a bigger deal because for me, New Year's is a bigger of a gag, like that's a crazy gag, like time is changing, like literally times are actually it's changing in a big way.

And Christmas is just like, okay.

Something major and special coming for New Year's though, I know.

So, I think I'm just so excited for the New Year's one. And I'll be sappy in that. I'll hold my tongue for now.

You're gonna be SAPPI in that be Oh yeah, well we'll cry on that one. Wait, they've never seen me cry? Have they seen me cry?

Oh?

I cried it like talking about Madeline how much? And now she was like pregnant and shit.

Oh my god, Luna, baby baby Luna today.

Who know?

She facetimes us like almost every single day. She's obsessed with me.

She's starting to like me. She could say my name.

Now, Ya like had her hood on or some shit, and Luna was like terrified of her. And then Enya let her hair down, and Luna was like.

And yeah, so I guess without my fucking hair, I look like a scary man who's about to steal Drew's phone.

And she knows like Mama, dad, dad go together, Pop and GG go together, and Ya and Drew go together. She's like, do an India, dude.

For the first time, I think after seeing those photos. It was after we did that shoot.

I was sitting with Drew and I realized I always found it so funny when people asked us like if we were Oh.

It was after that guy asked us if we're gonna have kid Like somebody asked us we were gonna have kids?

And I was like what, Like I was so confused by that question, and I forget that people really do perceive us as just like an attractive couple together. Like when we're together and we're out in the world, people just think we're a couple. So of course Luna, like in Luna's head, I literally am her mama, And you know, we should like, okay, think about this, that we should

It's like, can I really know when I raise a kid, I'm gonna sell it for twelve thousand dollars and a bag of heroin. No, I'm going to put it in a spherical dome and put it in like a cage with either a bunch of apes or ringutangs or tigers, and the animals are gonna like bring it in or alone and make it raise itself like it can like we'll feed it and shit, but it like the food will just appear and see, like what language it develops?

Well, technically, wouldn't it be better to even just like not give it food and just like plant food for it to learn how to grab.

Yeah, but like it's like an infant. It's not like a giraffe that like comes out like fully born. You have to like feed it boo milk and shit.

Dude, I just don't think I'm gonna have kids. Like that's just not It's not in my cars.

I'm having kids as fuck, and you're gonna be my surrogate. You carrying my kid artificially though she's not coming in my house. It's not coming at my temple.

She's not coming to my house.

Oh I thought you were. Oh I was going to say that was probably so smart. I was what the fuck I was going to say. You know, drafts come out and they can walk and they can navigate the world. But humans take like years, but we end up being super smart and we build rocket rocket ships and stuff. So if you're having trouble in life and you're like, oh,

That's like, that's like you because you're like fifty not fifty. Yeah, I see that.

That was beautiful, So that actually was it was beautiful.

Have you heard did someone say that to you?

No, that was just an inspiring thing that I came up with.

That's beautiful. Do you want to hear something.

No, I'm swear to God.

You mean, what does that mean? You'll have a little too good? Like like ew.

Okay, d one level.

Too much?

Okay, Well, thank you guys so much for watching.

I hope everyone has happy holidays, whatever you celebrate. I hope you get to be with your family or your chosen.

Family because or no family, because you're a fucking loser.

Honestly, Yeah, that's why Drew's not Drew saying here for christ.

Nobody disowned me. Fuck Bridy and slid.

Okay, thank you guys so much for watching.

No, thank you, enjoy your holidays, peace and lives.

Any sh