Sexy, Not Smart

Welcome back to this episode of My balls are so heavy?

Oh they hurt.

I can let me train them for you. Like the balloons I was.

Seeing like a pussy, like little pimple, like like having to squeeze.

It, simple squeeze.

I love that audio, dude, when I simple, I wish maybe can you shut the fuck up? But I was gonna say I now that it's not near me, because I think this was everything that I don't purchase that I see When I saw the Elsa poppet, and like there was an Elsa poppet, there was a pep.

Up, pig poppet.

There was literally every character you could think of, and like they were shaped like poppets. But I didn't have any cash on me, so I couldn't buy it. But I'm so mad I didn't buy it for Josiah. Although update on the among Us poppet, I fucking hate it.

It's just everywhere and it's such a nuisance and there's nowhere it can live. Also, how did you feel last night? Like about the people we were with last night completely shitting on like fidget toys in general, I was kind of offended, but I was.

Like, I under I didn't feel like they were shitting on it. I think they were like shitting on the idea of like a grown person who's acting.

Like they need a fidget and also like saying like it's actually distracting you more than it's helping you, Like put that shit down. You're grown fucking man, you.

Can't do your work. You're like, it's like giving a child a fucking iPad. Literally, a fidget is just an iPad with no LEDs.

Ooh that just literally made me think of like my nephew's fucking disgusting sticky iPad. Dude, Oh my god, literally showed literally the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my entire life, like boogers smeared all over it and like cracks and like fucking cheeto dust and like just like so dirty, but.

Like like cheeto dust like coagulating in some of the boogers.

Yeah, yeah, No, It's it's not like separate events like there, it's like a mixture of just like snot and boogers and puss. But I mean they're little boys, Like what can you fucking do? Like are you gonna boys?

Will be boys?

I realize. Also, I always have this loud ass fucking cup and in every single episode everyone can hear like my eyes and.

In the past few episodes, you've been like into the mic. Yeah, you sniffed a couple of times.

Sorry, sorry, I will blow my nose in my shirt next time. Actually, speaking of my short, I wanted to talk because you made a comment how someone was like you should talk about like your outfits like each episode.

That's like sad, I know it is, Oh, you're beautiful. You're beautiful just the way you are, and you shouldn't care about what other people think. If you we got best friends necklaces.

That's how you know I love you because I don't.

I know. I saw it. I saw it on you today and I was like, I don't like made me feel good because I I when you when we were gifted it, I was like, this bitch is never gonna wear this and I'm gonna wear it all the fucking time. And I saw you wearing it today and I was like, oh, like she really does care about me. I want to get it made me tear up by.

We should get like gold versus plate.

We could probably get it plated gold.

Like that would be a fucking sled.

And it would literally, I mean literally all they do is like put it in a fucking vat of water, like electrocuted or whatever. I don't know the signs electrocuted.

Yeah, they literally dip it like fucking a corn dog, like a hot dog and corn dog matter.

The corn dogs from the fair the other day. Actually probably the best thing I put into my body in like six years.

I know. It did help that we were also fucking starving like famine.

If you could eat.

Anything when you're famished, and you might as well be eating out a Michelin stuff, bitch, you could feed me the seven eleven like rotisserie talk like taquitos when I'm hungry, and I'll.

Be like, this is the best food ever. But I will say those are the best food probably ever made.

I never had the taqitos, but I used to fuck up the chicken wings. But I was like the chicken wing monster.

We just had this conversation like two days ago. But like, I can't do bone in eat at all, like boner meat. I can't. I can't do bone and meat because when you're eating, when you when you're eating.

The sucking the bone.

Yeah, exactly, it's a little gay, Like I can't do that. I can't suck bones. No, because like when you're eating bone and meat one it's on the bone, which I shouldn't fucking see bones ever in my life. That's so sinister until the tendons, uh uh, the tendons in the fat when you buy into that ship, it is like eating fucking rubber bands, like the.

Best tastes ever.

That's why I love like squid and octopus and like oxtail and like pigs feet because it's all like fatty, like like tendons, and it's like.

It's the most It literally is like a cultural thing. I think actually.

Though, yeah, so you're being fucking racist. Yeah and now, but no, I literally like that is what makes me like in the most like, let me clarify, this is the.

Most Joe Rogan shit you'll ever say.

I am not vegetarian because I'm like, yeah, like save the planet. Like of course, I'm like, yes, I do my part. But I am in any any like health thing I'm in. It's for vanity and like that's it.

Never get it.

Twisted, Like I don't have a hydroflask because I'm like, don't waste plastic. I have a hydroflas because if I don't have a hydroflask, I won't drink water and then I won't be pretty, like I like, of course, like God blessed that I'm like helping the world while I try to be pretty in like little ways.

Yeah, but it.

It is never like I'm not skipping out on straws, like I will take a straw because I don't want my teeth to be yellow.

Also, straws aren't the things that are killing the turtles. The things that are killing the turtles are fucking nuts.

And a lot of people would be like, oh my god, did you switch from making cancel because you saw that. No, I'm sorry, Like that is not my.

Duty, Like that's not my job. It's a corporation's job. We need to it's the scientist's job to figure out how to get us lab grown meat. Would you eat lab grown meat?

Yeah, because that's what like plant based meat is, that's basically like lab grown.

Would you know?

Would I take lab grown meat in my whole?

No?

I did.

It was basically what I was gonna say. I wasna. I can't say it because it's just so gnarly. It's really it's really naughty. Should I just say it? Would you? I mean that's a test too.

Big, because lab grown pussy would hit.

Like alien, like alien alien versus predator puss.

I guess actually lab grown dick would literally they can make it through the twirls that the little.

Thing, and it could suck like they could. We could add a little attacked meat.

You could shape it like the rabbit toys, give it like an extra mouth to be like I won't Yeah, but yeah, I like I do it for vanity and I miss chicken, and I have been eating insane the past three weeks, Like I've been eating the most out of pocket I have in my whole life, and I do think it's made a difference.

Like I was about to say, I haven't noticed a difference. I thought, your.

Skinless, I'm wearing makeup.

I like, you know what it is. It's it's like tiny like my breakouts from when I eat, like everything aren't Like I don't.

Okay, you don't eat everything. That's like impossible, You're so annoying.

It like comes after So like I like spent a week not eating any like crazy shit again because I was like, okay, I actually have to stop. Because when I was in Miami, I literally like had pigs feet. I had like a Bible lamb Like I was like anything you put in front of me, I'll eat like fish again, like I was just eating anything because also, like y'all at fear mongering the fuck out of me online and I'm convinced the world is gonna end. So I'm like, fuck it. I have to do literally everything I.

Want like now, Like dude, the online climate change fear mongering is the scariest shit I've ever seen it my entire life.

What what am I gonna do? Like I like, of course I understand that little things like driving my car less like less emissions like awesome, Like I don't have to drive everywhere or whatever, like okay, like.

Consumers whose fault is like.

What the am I gonna do?

Bitch?

I can't even I genuinely can't even tell.

My shoes, right, Yeah, that's true. That's why you wear your pilgrim shoes everywhere and is on her pilgrimage.

Yeah, because I have to, like I have to like remove myself from society because I am the sole proprietor of killing the earth.

Yeah. I mean I eat meat because I mean I don't eat as much meats. I don't eat meat. A second thing that I don't eat meat as much as I used to, and I can't eat steak anymore. Like I had like the nicest steak anywhere near my face. I had the nicest steak of my entire life, probably like a month ago or two months ago, when I was back in Texas, and it was like the first two or three bites, I was like, wait, like I get it. I get red meat. I understand like what

Chicken tastes so fucking good.

I was just thinking literally as you were talking about that, I was fantasizing about like like Cuban like grilled chicken with like the onions.

Oh shit, that shit I had when I was in Miami.

Oh yeah, we had in Miami, Dude, Oh so good.

Like every time I see oh season with like lemon, it's like super limit.

You know, it's like very citrusy and it's so delicious, and then you get some you go one the said, Yeah, it's just like okay, if y'all want to sit here and tell me that the world is gonna end in like five days, like I'm gonna like do whatever I want.

Yeah, exactly, I'm gonna drive my car three thousand miles. I'm gonna take the emissions, shit off my car and drive it. I don't give a shit, I'll ruin the earth.

No.

But actually, like I will say, I don't know. This is like completely just like coming out of my ass. It's not backed by science at all.

And I want to give one of your other fucking conspiracy.

It's not a conspiracy. It's just like how it's just like how I process this information information a lot of it. I feel like it is coming from a good place, like this fear mongering, like it's like if you don't do this now, we will die. But part of me is kind of like that's not the way to like

Also there's like the funniest the only like I'm like, the funniest thing to come out of the world ending, and like like global warming is every single company in the world deciding all of a sudden that they are also green. Like, bitch, when I get on a flight, I know, damn well.

Jet Blue is not green.

Yeah, you were not green. And they lie their ass off.

They so hard.

They're like they're like, oh my god, and we've been doing this for ten years.

I'm like, are you lying, liar?

Like there is like this certain form of like I forget the word for it, but there is like it's like, don't believe everything you see that's like green, Like if you like go into like Target or whatever, and it's like green, like like created ethically or whatever.

I don't think there's necessary any laws about lie. I feel like you can lie about being like this is fully recyclable because.

Also like most plastics are not.

Recyclable, Like if you like me being like anti recycling.

But what I'm saying is like, bitch, when I buy, I'm thinking of.

A specific product, but I won't say it because it's like by a famous person, and if I see this famous person, I have to act like I don't know who they are when I see them. But like, this famous person had a product and it was like this is the new packaging and it's one hundred percent recyclable. It was literally the same packaging as their old one,

I'm going give me.

A kid, I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.

Like send me a broad like I don't want to.

Go, bitch, you just want to get floud out, Like that's.

What I want to get phone out so bad. I don't understand. Like it's I've been on the internet for seven years, not once flown out time.

It really is literally.

Not once flown out for like a gig, like.

I mean kind of for tour, but like no, we were.

Being like abused as kids. That's different.

I'm an I tour. We were kind of fleut out, but we were like.

You're being abused. No, no, but I mean like not, but we were being flown out like to do like to work all day for like that was different. I mean I want to be flown out and put up in a nice hotel room for like a fucking week and then have two days out of that week where I have to work for a company, and then for the rest of it I get to lolligag. I don't get flown out to lolligag me complaining about like the most unrel I'm like, I want to be phown out to lolligag.

I think, I mean, I think it is relatable, Like I think everybody wants to be flown out.

See, guys, this is how you know that, like there will always be relatability between us, because like you might look at me and be like, oh my god, enya. It's like like quote I'm quoting my hands for if you I can't see like famous and like important, No I am not. Companies fucking hate me and I am so unimportant to like majority companies and also like I

I was like, wait, I've like literally never been not on the floor in the club. I was like, I've only exist on the floor, Like I'm a fucking Cockroads. I'll do you one better. I am literally on the floor rolling around. You better.

I am the floor on top of me. They're stepping on me and walking around.

I'm the mop that mops up the floor at the club afterwards, the piss and vomit.

But yeah, I was like, maybe if we like put our foot forward, we would be in these scenes. But no, I just don't.

I just think we are just too nuanced people, Like we're too nuanced persons. I don't, I don't know. I just genuinely don't understand why we're not loved by brand.

No we say that, then, like what do we spend our free time doing?

Watching lightning compilations?

Girl, that shit is like actually the best, like the most fun I've had in a very long time. Was just laughing at people getting struck by lightning and Tree's getting struck by lightning.

Also, we're not like watching people like die getting struck.

Yeah, we make it to make it very clear.

Yeah, it's all like survival stories, but like then it's caught on video, and the videos are like so funny.

It's like the craziest shit I've ever seen. It's just like out of literally out of nowhere, this person just fucking falls. I just can't describe it.

Maybe I would love to do a reaction to be on my channel, but now we've watched it twice and I'm like, okay, it can't be funny a third time.

I mean it was just as funny.

Ever, I think you know what it is too, like anything you watch when you're like delusionally tired. After eleven thirty people.

Yeah, like the eleven thirty giggles, Like yeah, I really agree, but yeah, we just like watch lightning compilations and watching trees explode. The sounds the shit makes like the Transformers make when they get struck by lightning, and then the sound thunder. The sound of thunder is just fucking hilarious. Like I'm sorry, that's.

Like literally is Nature's far.

It is big far, It's nature. Snapshot screenshot.

Dude Oriyan's saying that was literally the funniest thing ever, Like, fuck, I was gonna say something, you know what, Maybe that's why like global warming, like of course I understand how serious it is and like how detrimental will be, especially to like a lot of third world country, specifically because I literally took a class about.

It, Communism, climate change one on one. Okay, like that lazy, lazy socialist algebra. I'm just gonna read some of them now, COVID muzzle one oh one, Kamala, Harris History, Joe Biden gave us home.

I'm on that bus. I want to get on the Joe Biden gay bus.

For reference. I'm it's this new school be like meme that I found that I'm reading from. It's none of those are my jokes. I will credit the joke writer when I find it. But Joe Biden gave us home.

But I think with the reason that like my brain one as a simple brains like dumb human, and I will always claim that to my grave. I say, I think every episode that I am stupid. I cannot grasp you like so annoying. That's literally ninety nine degrees.

That fucking hurt my shoulder so bad, dude, I have no muscles. Okay, keep going, what's his shirt?

Uh?

Half? Life.

It's cute, dude. I love the distressing on that so much.

That wasn't really nice.

I have to get better at like.

I have Life.

Two from the Thrift Wrangler's cameo, Josh's Closet, Easy Slides, Easy dot Com, Uniclose Socks, Heaven by Mark Jacob's Best Friend necklace, Good Turn?

Do you want me to go?

Do you know what I'm referencing?

Is it when they stop people and they're like, what is that?

Like, what are you no? It's like when they're like standing up to the camera.

Oh yeah, you could have just said tiktoks.

Sometimes I just forget words front general in New York, like Japanese dun um um selene loafers, white sox from Amazon. A shirt that literally when we were at the Rose Bowl I took from this lady because I was like, she's just being nice to me. But we were there when it was closing and she had a truck full of clothes and was like get something like get a shirt, like take a shirt for free, and I was like, oh, are you sure? She was like yeah. It was literally

Over the world, New York, Miami, Los Angeles.

I'm crazy. And then I have the other half of the necklace from Heaven hold on this gifted. I literally forgot what the fuck I was saying. Also, my rings are sleigh on a dot com. You should look that up.

Oh yeah, my bracelets are Power Balance Grease Star bracelet that I've had for literally seven years on this wrist. And then my everyone in my family.

Has really no one who's listening to this can see.

This, like like we like literally just fully forgot what we were and like started existing.

Well this is this is a bracelet that everybody in my family got when my brother died.

Oh that's so ugly.

And then I have a rubber band. I have to literally just fucking rubber band people.

I will pop this ship.

You won't do to me. I will hit you on you literally won't. That's the thing. That's the thing.

You're trying to gas like me into like physically abusing you on camera.

Dude. That's like someone pointed that out. Like literally all I do is just like it's not gaslighting. I just know like how to get a reaction out of you and.

What gaslighting is literally not.

But I just like say ship that I know.

I know how to make you upset and make you feel like.

You're the crazy or the perpetrator. But no, I just say like stupid shit and then like I'll look at you and then you'll give the exact reaction I want and it's perfect.

My bracelets are also from random jewelry source. Actually, some of my jewelry is literally from my ear rings, like for my earings are from my mommy. Oh and my chain is from my dad that he got in nineteen eighty nine. Hey, Okay, I forgot what I was fucking saying, bitch. I was Oh, I was talking about how like I

Listen to this. Also, don't quote me on this because this makes sound the most ignorant I've ever sounded in my entire life. But listen to this. What we were talking about the other day, what if all these natural disasters that are happening now and more frequent, I say with air quotes, is because we're just more like connected, like we just are seeing more of it because everyone has a camera on it. And then also on top of that, what if it's because the news and the meat,

That's kind of like a lot of people are against like like classic styled news because that's what the news is like. Of course, if you were ever watching the news as a kid.

They try to.

Like filter in I think, like two good stories. Shit, yeah, like this puppy saved a kid's life like or something like that. But for the most part, it's literally just like replaying the same footage. Like I was watching the news for the first time the other day when Hurricane IDAs struck, and it was actually insane how they like replay the same like b roll because first of all, I'm like, get more b roll, Like, yeah, you're literally

Wait, how iconic would it be if an earthquake just happened.

That would not be an iconic. It would suck balls.

I guess if it was big Ones coming.

When I was on Twitch, there was an earthquake, so I like, there's life footage in me reacting to an earthquake.

But I went I went the big one.

Stop fucking saying that because that shit actually pisses me off, and like that's one more reason to move out of LA because I'm like, bitch a hurricane. I grew up in hurricanes.

I'm moving to Wyoming. Hurricane Huh, I'm moving to Wyoming.

You're annoying. I'm gonna punch you in the face.

Kanye and Jeffrey Star live out there, my best.

Oh, speaking of Kanye, we said we were going to kind of make a comment on Drake album and Kanye's album and like, so that Drake I as a lot of you know, I've never really like, I've never heard of his music. Of course, like when I'm in a club, if you like played it, I'd be like, oh, this kind of sounds familiar, but I can't tell you who's like singing, Like does he singer?

No? He raps? And you know who the fuck Drake is? You just listen to his album like.

Oh, yeah, no, I see, I already forgot.

But oh that's what I was gonna say, is I.

I gave it a go because I was like, all right, I'm talking a lot about having sex with this man.

Maybe I should know what he does.

Yeah, So I gave the album a listen, and I actually decided I don't know that I like the way he talks about women, so I don't know if I would have sex with him.

Like character growth, baby character development.

But this is also me playing hard to get because if he knows like I like don't funk with him and I also don't like his music, he'll be like, oh my god, she's so slay and like different, like.

We have to cut not like the other girls.

Yeah, I just don't like Drake.

Like we just said, you want I'm really you're giving really weird signals right now, like do you want to have sex with Drake or not? Oh my fucking guy. But like I was saying, like this Kanye guy, I've never ever heard of this guy in if I mean after listening to his music. Yeah, And that's our.

Review on the albums.

Okay, what we actually think of the albums is, for me, they both are incredibly mid And this whole Drake versus Kanye feud that had the injury or the internet has conjured up is so pointless because both the albums fucking suck, not fucking suck, but both of them are just like like whatever. If I had to choose one of the albums, I would choose Donda because I have a bias towards Kanye at the end of the day.

The thing is, at the end of the day. I think I like both of them just as much.

Exactly.

They are literally both I like went through a humongous like Kanye and Drake face in high school like simultaneously, like beginning of high school, all I listened to was or like end of middle school, all I listened to

Like mid like, yeah, both of them are just not.

A lot of the Kanye album. I don't know why literally makes me laugh, Like I think it makes me laugh because I'm like, I don't know, it's She's just funny.

I'm like, there's way too much music on that album. Wait, she could have made it ten songs on two to like eight songs. He could have made it ten songs song and it actually would have been like a really decent album, but he put thirty six songs on there, and it's fourteen hours long and it's just like whatever. I like.

I was trying to listen to it before this episode because I actually also haven't even listened to the full thing because some of the songs like got annoying to me and I would like skip it and or like I would just be like, what is happening?

But you just don't have an open mind, in an open mind and an open heart to God, no exact to Kanye, Bitch, what we're you gonna say?

I was just gonna say some of the there's like four of those Drake songs that I like, I'm like, this is awesome, and it reminds me of like old Drakes.

I'm too Sexy for my shirt.

I hate that one.

That is the cringiest shit I've ever heard in my entire life. And the fact that y'all let that song, of every song on the Drake album be the one that.

Blows up you like it's like the fucking lesbian line. He said that actually because he knew what it would do to the internet, like, especially in this like like climate of like conversation around sexuality. He knew if he said he's a lesbian, like it would either ruffle feathers or like get a bunch of people like cracking up at it. And I think because he gets mean so hard, he's like, I'm gonna be the like the one to me myself.

And yeah, dude, that's something that is actually terrifying. Literally, no matter who you are, like and no matter like whatever, whatever, no matter the celebrity, they are all becoming memes of themselves and it's like terrifying. I think Kai said that and I was like, holy fucking shit.

I fucking hate it.

It's it's scary. It's like, please take yourself fucking seriously and let us be the memes of ourselves, like I.

Know, let the let the internet comedians do the meming, like that's literally our job, Like why are you trying to take our job too?

It's so like terrifying. It's absolutely like terrifying. But yeah, like.

Raised my mind off of Certified lover Boy. I also just hate the term.

I used to be a That's that's my favorite line off of that album.

That's not a line on that album.

Do you think he did that on purpose where he the whole like meme where BBL Drake like shaking your head to, Well, that wasn't him. No, the meme was to that song. And then Drake's album came out and it it was called Certified lover Boy.

He's been teasing Certified lover Boy for like a minute though, I think before the meme, like literally I remember him seeing like calling himself a lover boy, like fucking forever ago.

Well, the correlation's there. That's why the conspiracies are already rolling direly.

An you're the only one who has said that.

Well, now everybody else listening gets it too.

So you've heard it, Sonny.

You've heard of post nut clarity.

Well now that's literally what I was looking for is for our fucking.

Well now I'm dropping a new bomb today, pre nut insanity.

Okay, but here's my arguments this. There is no sanity in horniness at all. So I don't even.

Believe no prena insanity. No, I'm saying, like, so you're horny and insane prinut insanity, no.

I think.

But even after you nut, you are still insane, because like, go, why.

Is this a debate? Right now? It's post nut clarity prena insanity.

Okay, then what the fuck did you say it?

Bitch?

The fuck you want me.

To be like mm hmm exactly, be like yep, exactly.

I would argue that there is no sanity in horniness at all, before.

Or after you've never nutted to some Okay.

No, we're not having that conversation.

Okay, Like absolutely insanity in that because it's like, why can I not just like accept the fact that that like did it for me? Like, well, like why do I have to like fight that feeling? And that is insanity to me?

Kings are just taboos. It's just what we can't have.

Exactly, And that's what I'm saying. It's still like insane. So even within the clarity, there's insanity.

I'm so lost right now. All I wanted to do is just drop prina insanity and I want to see people using it.

You're trying to like make something.

No, I just want someone to say, oh, yeah, like you know what you're you did good today, you did really good today. You came up with prina insanity.

But you're gonna come up with that today.

But I came up with it like.

Two weeks today two weeks ago.

Nothing new that well. I came up with this today and I was gonna just save it for a good moment when you're talking, but I'm just gonna drop it now. What the fuck?

Wait, some more squirting ketchup on someone up?

Dude? That was I thought she knew, and I was like, that's not that funny, like that's actually like whatever. But the fact that he accidentally squirted ketchup on this woman and then she had no idea and they both went their separate ways and the dam will ever interact again. Except she has ketchup stains all over her and she thought it was me. I bet because she was eyeballing me fucking squirt ketchup on my hot dogs.

He was ie balling you squirre ketchup on your hot dog because it was making her horny because she saw you holding away.

I just I have the tendency to do that to all genders, no matter who you are, what you love, what you like.

Because this is the only time you've like that you making someone horny has come up, and it's only been a woman.

What about the Hey incident?

Shut up? No, we have to say that for an episode that I was gonna be like that could be a Valentine's episode. It's literally September eighth.

Like apparently, yeah, that's years away. But yeah.

When we were at the fair, Zamar literally.

Just codd a woman in ketchup and didn't say anything. She didn't notice, and it was just the funniest thing.

Although I keep looking at my phone because I'm looking at our topics. Oh, here's what I need to talk about. I need to just admit to the world that I am like Chi's mosta as fuck, Like I am very nosy, and it's honestly getting worse with age. Like you would think like with age it would go away, but it's getting worse. I'm getting more and more eaves droppy and

I remember when you used to be angry at me, when I would be nosy and eavesdrop, eavesdrop.

Because gig no, as a man, why are you eavesdropping? That's literally none of your business. You're being invasive and like scary because as a woman, it is my duty to listen to other people in case someone's in danger.

That's that's what I'm doing because I'm gonna go save the day. I'm gonna be real burly man and step in if shit gets crazy.

But the guy at the beach, literally I was like, first of all, not to like sit here and like call someone ugly, but like you're fucking ugly, Like why like you're not like you're lying, Like I guess like the standards for men are like way lower, like ugly guys still fuck. It's like girl like pretty girls just like.

Have to like wait, like the fact that literally like almost everyone on earth, like a majority of people on Earth have had sex before. Yeah, I've seen some other that like should not be boning dude.

This guy also, I have the right to call him ugly because of the way he was talking about women. I was like, you are a fucking monster, and you like I'm gonna put you in jail, like I hate you. He was like, he was just talking. This is how it started, what he was saying. He was like, yeah, and like she got really mad because like I was seeing this girl on the side and like they know each other, and dude, it's actually crazy, Like I saw them in the same room and they were hella chilling

And I was like, also, there's something to be said that's very homoerotic. No like talking to your boy about that.

Oh my god fully. He literally started like mimicking the way he was fucking this girl on the beach in front of a family and like a bunch of strangers. And I was like, you, like, just say you have like a kink for like public sets with your friends, Like y'all should just like start my out.

Y'all should just put your inhibitions aside and kiss and see if there is something there. Explore each other. Do you think they explored each other's bodies after that?

Dude, it was so insane and like he just went on for so long and like he was talking about having sex with so many girls in such a short span of time, and I'm like, that's not happening, and like you're lying right now, like you're literally lying. Granted I had no business like listening to him anyways, but he was talking love as fuck like he wanted me to hear. Yeah, he probably did no literally because then

Now and then. I'm not kidding.

The second me and Sabrina stood up to like put our clothes back on, he fully turned around like one eighty turned around, and his friend still kept looking the other way, and he started staring at us while we were like getting dressed, and me and A Lisa were just like, I mean a Lisa, Me and Sabrina. We're literally just like crumbled up, like putting our clothes on as fast as we could, like looking at us.

And that's dude. Women have it like so hard.

Oh my god, you're so like empathetic. Can we fuck?

Yeah? Like women just like have periods and like they like they have to just be looked at and like objectified. Like that shit sucks, Like I feel free.

Don't fucking touch me.

That's literally every boy on TikTok.

My hip, My whole leg is numb. Do you know when it goes numb and like you have pins and needles and if you move it like an inch? Yeah, motherfucker.

Can we literally go out to like a bar tonight and just like eavesdrop, Yeah, dropping on drunk people.

Is the best place to do it is at the cart catcher at like Walmart or Target. Those are the best places to eat. People watch.

No, that's the best place to people watch.

But I mean, like you can tell a lot about a person.

If they put the cart back.

Yeah. Yeah, that like that's like really says all you need to know. There's another one of those where it's like okay, like if you put your cart back you're like a fairly like moral person. You care about the well being of others. But if you like leave it in the middle of the thing, you literally don't give a shit, and you're a narcissist. You care about yourself and no one else.

But there's a rush.

But yeah, but I mean like, I've been in rush situations and I always put.

Oh no, you're like the most moral rounded person ever.

Keep going though, I te you like, thank you, thank you. I feel like I am so thank you. No, there's another one where it's like.

You're gonna say something stupid. You were literally gonna say something so fucking stupid. No, go, what were you gonna say?

Like, as a man, it's my duty to make the girl come forward?

Time line, Like, this is the type of person I am.

You know, Oh you're so nice.

You make girls squirt and stuff. You make sure your girl squirts.

Yeah, we should just talk about how we miss the first two weeks of lockdown. We should move on. I miss it. I know, ironically I miss it, And does that make me privileged? Maybe? Yes, makes me a little privileged because my lockdown was fine whatever, But I missed the first two weeks of lockdown. And I'll say it with my fucking chest I do.

But you know what I realized, I think what I miss about it is the weather. Interesting if we had that weather, because that was like in March, like early March, and that's literally the best some of the best weather in La because it's like drizzling, it's like really chilly on the days that it's raining. And that was like the first two weeks, so it was just like cold and nice in the house. We were playing animal crossing and like.

Tell me why, I just like got like kind of like teary eyed thinking about like just how okay, it's never mind. That's so I was gonna say it was like cute because like we were like do we wear a mask? Like do we not wear masks? That's not cute, Like people are dying, Like.

I mean, it was just like it was just interesting because of like you know, it was it was it was like a very vulnerable moment in like society. And I think that's what like the sweet part of it was. It was like everybody was just on a human level of like it was like natural survival and like vulnerability of like oh.

Shit, like we are all the same. Yeah, and then we all started going fucking insane.

I know. Then it literally like it went for me like like fucking wear your masks.

Like like tunny little coffee and.

Like it's only two weeks. It's two weeks, dude.

I remember I thought two weeks was a long time when when I first heard about it, because of like our friend's parents who were doctors, we got like the scube like a little earlier, like nothing.

They let us know like two weeks before, like they were like they're gonna shut this ship down, like.

Prepare yeah, and we were like that's not gonna actually happen, like you're lying to us, And I was like two weeks, like you expected me saying side for two weeks, as if I fucking go out that much anyways. But I was like pissed off because I was like two.

Weeks and then I was like this is a new normal, and I was terrified of it. But now I kind of love it because like now I just don't go out anymore, which is that kind of nice. I grew, I grew up. I grew as a person me too. There are people dying.

There are people dying.

I should am I I should be in school that the Sunberg this is This episode was me declining global, making fun of grandpaon b not a.

Good looks and I was glorifying the first two weeks of COVID when people were literally dying.

I'm probably these are just my opinions. Like have I to be the best person in the world? No?

Do I know right from wrong?

Yes? Do I believe that I am like morally like in the right direction? Yes? But like, am I silly?

I have fun? Like? Am I am? Am? I saying what everyone's thinking? Probably like I am.

People might say that I'm the martyr of hope.

Actually true, I do believe that now that we're missing Can I stuck on your fingers?

No?

You can't suck on my fingers? What the fuck is wrong with you?

You know what a lot of people watching, a lot of people, a lot of people.

What is that from?

No? But you know what I've been thinking of recently. Okay, I actually have to find.

Do you know, humble yourself?

Because you know, you know, like I know that I will humble you.

Dude.

Cheese mosa, dude, I just am Oh the is keep going is mimosa but instead of oranges, it's cheese.

That she cannot compete.

When you don't compete, she was speaking, best bit is that you're getting.

Damn I calm down and you know, I know, and I will humble you.

She ate so carry on.

I love so carry on. Dude. Literally five point three k.

Views, Like no, she that is like one of the most iconic.

I'm not kidding.

The reason that God brought up is in the jay Z and Drake song on Certified lover Boy. Jay Z literally steals from her and like says what she was saying in that video. He literally is like, your best bet is to sit down before I humble you.

Damn like like word for word, yeah, damn. Well, my favorite video right now is one that you brought to my attention last night. The Devil made me do.

Let's just say the Devil made me.

I know exactly where her head was like she was like ooh like filter like I'm gonna just like act a little bit like yeah, you know, she was.

Like looking through the filters I g and She's like.

I like this one. Yeah, and she did it and she served.

The Devil made me.

Let's just say the Devil made me do it. Let's just say I'm gonna piss my pants. I always have to peek.

I could take some.

I could take some would be like an interesting idea for me to pee in the middle of the episode.

No, that would not be an interesting idea. We'd have to cut it. Yeah, speaking of most, you look at my phone all the time. You have seen I know you've seen me sexting.

Yeah, of course, and you's just like her phone's open. I do it to It's not just any I like, I watch everyone's phone and it's not even like ooh, I'm getting this scoop like. It's like, no, I'm trying to get my screen time down, so I gotta like look at your like I gotta see what.

You're doing to me, like being fucking gross. And then I'm like embarrassed because I'm I am like.

No that the last time, the only time I've ever seen you like being horny on your phone was literally when you were showing me something on your phone and yeah, it opened up and I didn't even see it, and it I wouldn't have realized it if you didn't say it.

But then I only said it because you had a video of my phone I was showing.

It was when my phone was breaking.

The last text I sent was literally fucking like it was like funny, but it was like gross.

I actually didn't go look at it.

Guess it was going to Jet. No, guess who's going to jet.

Guess who's getting some cactnet me? But yeah, he like always is looking at my fucking phone.

The other day I was texting from the backseat. He right up started.

Talking about what I was texting someone about. Like didn't he even like be like, sorry, I'm looking at your phone. He started just giving his two cents of my conversation.

I were attacked, and my two cents were true.

You don't even remember what we were talking about.

No, I know, I don't even remember that at lay dude, I have decided that like I am like an NPC, Like I'm not a like like you know how everyone thinks they're the main character. Like bitch, No, my brain is empty now, like I have. I have no thoughts in my head anymore, like I And it's kind of like scaring me because I used to be like full of life, but now I'm so jaded that like there's

What I will say is I've never felt like the main character. I've always felt like the character in like the video game that you like talk to and I like give you hints on how to like how to further. Yeah, I'm like I've always felt like an MPC, but I agree with you more recently, like I think I realize

That, but like, dude it, do do it, dude it.

But I think I'm just like.

I'm just like whatever, I don't know that I care.

Yeah, I'm very blosse.

And not in like a lame nihilistic way, but like a zoul is eating my goddamn planet. Motherfucker she was is she did? She chomp on it big time. No, I'm gonna fucking kill myself. Actually, I'm gonna fucking kill myself. Like this is actually like the sadest say of my goddamn life. Oh, is it bad? Yes, we're leaving the same.

It's not the worst. We'll just keep it here for the rest of the episode. We'll watch her.

I'm in a vomit at.

Wells also, so that's the good news, dude.

Oh, my god, he ate no inya. This is all him, that's all him. He was eating the fuck out of that like a fucking snail. He's getting spankings. I'm not Kidding'm gonna spank the shoot out of him.

I'm so sorry.

How much was this.

Way too much?

I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna get a spray to like spray around that air of the couch so it's all good.

It shouldn't have been there anyways. Like I knew he was gonna eat it, but that motherfucker.

I'll buy a different plant for that corner. We could put this one by the TV so he can't reach it. Yeah, but he'll get to those.

Leaves that he just saw, the biggest one and was like, I'm gonna fucking ruin Drew's day. I'm gonna ruin Drew's day. And I and it did. He worked, He worked. He's manipulative.

Is the worst.

He's actually manipulative, like he knows what he's doing and he does it to like either get under your skin or because he liked he's like deprived of attention for some reason. When he's not, he's always so much and he does these stupid little things like eating my fucking plants because he knows I'm gonna touch him later.

Like, dude, he's so annoying, like he like actually makes me so fucking mad. And then I'm like, oh he this is like this man is a pussy.

I know I fucked it later.

You fucked it later. That doesn't make sense.

The future exists already, we have predetermined destinies. You wouldn't know that if you listen to me.

Anyways, bitch as well so fucking annoying.

I just got back from my trip and literally she's been yelling every night and she like will get into fits where she yells, but it is like the worst it's ever been, like her yelling because she's being mean and she's coming next to my head and doing it like I don't know. She like starts at the at the door and then we'll like move to my head and was sitting on my chair next to my vanity in my bed and looking at me and screaming until I woke up.

Oh I love the big little bit, so.

I'm gonna start spraying him with water until he stopped.

When he's being good, he just sleeps.

With me all night.

No, it's my fault. It really is my fault because when you were gone, I would just leave your door open at night and he could go to and fro.

Yeah, he's he's like used to freedom and now he hates me because he's like pissed about it because he's like, I want to do this, but I don't give a fuck.

I'm gonna spray the ship out of him with some water, and like.

I think, yeah, there's no winning in that situation. You could get a cat door installed, No, bitch, there's no there's absolutely no winning in that situation. Like you have to spray him, I know.

I is that like a thing that people don't agree with, like like spray barling your cats. If if you had a cat as annoying and like a piece of ship, like it was always so lucky. He's the cutest cat in the world, but it's very lucky that he's If.

He didn't have his little belly in his like cute, little, bigger squeezable fish, he would be on the streets.

Literally.

If it's always like a grown ass person, if it's always like a toddler like size like animal, I would fistfight it. Like if it's always like if it's if he could match.

If he could be, if he could take up for himself. I think.

Also, you know, I don't want it to be thought that I like and mean to I'm way too nice.

And that's why he's Yeah, and he is way too good to him as am.

I like, everyone gives him exactly what he wants when he yells, we give him exactly what he wants. So he's a piece of ship. And then when he he doesn't get.

What he wants, he gets so he's an actual todd.

I actually can't believe he did this because he didn't.

Do this part. No, it's like naturally that just yeah, that just is because it's so big motherfucker. But yeah, when Enya's gone for like an extended period of time and I take care of his oulf for her, I fat in that motherfucker.

Uh, I know, because he got fat.

But since I got I feed him like two three times a day.

No, he shouldn't be getting fed too three times a day. I want him to live until I'm like thirty five.

So, but he's a good boy, and he deserves the little food because it makes.

No he deserves the proper amount of food.

So that he'd be a healthy cat that lives until I'm thirty.

Has very few joys in life, Like he sees a bug maybe once.

Everything three joy in life he gets like every he literally gets every single thing he wants.

He sees a bug once every three weeks, and that's the most joy he get.

Buying him bugs to eat, and I'll let you give him feed him bugs. You can look up what bugs a zule can eat and buy them and feed them to him. And you can feed him bugs, and you could give him treats if you want to give him treats. You give him treats. Don't give my cat a full bowl of food because you want him to be fat.

I don't want him to be fat because back, but don't live belly.

His belly oug belly gets.

A squigye belly. But okay, he's not like fat. He's just like a normal cat. He's still within normal cat weight. He's just not no bitch, he's.

Starting to look pudgy.

Like I literally I never like look at a zula like, oh, he's like gotten bigger. But literally I was watching him walk down the hall and I was like, bitch, she's white.

Like he's like he got wie.

Uh.

You go to Big Billy now and.

Bit you get a squishy toy, get a squish mellow if you want something.

Big Azule's belly is the perfect squidging. He pedimen his belly and you switch it.

I don't care. He's being a bitch, so I like, I'm not gonna pay attention to him.

Who's going to jets nice.

That's my update on Azul, And I forgot what we were talking about was before Zul started eating your shit up?

Yeah, he literally committed a crime, like and this isn't the first time he's done this. He destroyed my monsterra, like destroyed it. And also he like cats are like allergic to monsterras and he still did it even after the first time. It like fucked with his stomach.

No, he literally like acclimated his body to be able to eat plants and he barely throws up. But he probably is gonna throw it from this. And I'm gonna, like, when this episode is done, I have to go clean up cat vomit.

We both lost today. We both lost.

Fuck. I'm so upset that I forgot what we were talking about.

Non binary nap time, I.

I keep touching the pussy of this plan and it's like fun.

Oh, it's gag into lunchtime. I forgot that's what we were talking about.

That's not what we were talking about. Fuck. Oh, we were talking about eavesdropping about how you were looking at my fucking phone. But what I was gonna say is I kind of have the same issue. I think I'm pretty good at like not looking like I'll look and and be like, oh shit, this is like I shouldn't

But like, in general, I don't care what if people ease drop on my phone because I do nothing wrong on my phone, and I don't care.

Because you do nothing on your phone.

It's not that you do nothing wrong.

You're doing literally like you you can get the same meme since we started this, fucking every time Drews picked up his phone, you're probably like, Damn, Drew's like looking at his phone. What is he looking at? He's literally been looking at that stupid fucking gay agenda meme.

Gay agenda lunchtime, Joe Biden gay Joe Biden, gay Joe Biden bus.

No, it's Joe Biden gay bus you.

That's the school liberals one shut up. Ever since Joe Biden got into the office.

That's it for the episode.

You're being cut COVID muzzle one oh one.

I saw a big that was people who were like anti maskers and they were like, if people can cross the borders, why can't I eat inside?

And I was like, that is like the craziest that is the most insane correlation ever made.

If people can drive, why can I not fly a plane? Hmmm?

Like that's what that felt like, Yeah, like.

What are you comparing? Like literally, and it was like this was she literally what made a bear? She was like, if people can cross the border in Texas, why can I not eat in a restaurant in New York?

Because the people crossing the border in Texas aren't a deadly virus killing everybody you love. Also, I saw since we're talking about conservatives just being thatshit crazy conservatives. Yeah, they get to call us libtards, we get to call them conservatives. Like that's where did you find that? I just saw it, like somewhere I don't know.

See, that's why people could each drop on your phone, because that's what you're looking at.

Yeah, exactly. So I saw someone being like, this is fucking America. I should not have to pay a subscription to go inside Costco. And I was like, oh, oh oh god. I was like, y'all are very very close to like seeing, like we're very close to seeing. I'd eye on like a lot of things like yeah, we shouldn't have to pay a membership to pay groceries because that's just like another way for billionaires to make more billions.

Maybe I don't believe poor people should live. That might just be me.

Please, No one fucking like someone's gonna like just take.

Creepy check creep it and doesn't believe in poor people.

We believe. We believe that poor people are real.

Don't speak for me.

Poor people are real.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be up here.

I shouldn't be up here. I should be in class learning about algebra. But I'm here telling you to save the world. Okay, now the episode is done because you're just being stupid.

All right, let's get into media.

This is like in Josie and the Pussycat Dolls when there's like a backtrack that's like brainwashing people. We should do that.

Shut up.

You're gonna be like, I haven't watched it.

Yeah, okay, my media for the week.

Oh my last note of what I wanted to say is shitting is literally the best pastime ever. Like you're not wasting time because you're doing something your body needs and it feels awesome.

Do you ever like suck the poop back up after you put it out and you just like get the poop twice? You fuck yourself with the dirt.

You're so annoy You don't do that because I do that all the time.

I do that all the time, man, okod oh, okay, I'll go first. The show of the week is Kaiba by Miyasaki Usa.

Oh did you watch that?

Yeah?

Oh yeah, you were watching it when I saw you.

Yeah.

It's really really good. Art style is incredible. It's just like it's everything. I feel like the Internet once in an anime right now and they're just not getting and it's just really fantastic. I there's not much more to say. It's really really there's some really dark ship that goes on in it and some really like like what the fuck is happening right now? Is this actually happening right now? Like type shit going on in it. That motherfucker he smells it and he's getting it. He's gonna get it.

Me.

Oh he's so cute that I love him, so boy, he's a good may, really good boy.

Yeah he wants to eat it. It tastes good to him. But yeah, that's a really good anime. You should check out. Maybe it's masak misak Usa.

Oh were you showing it to me to read it for you. Yeah, I don't know if I could read it either. Yeah, Misaki sounds right, I don't know.

Yeah, But Kaiba k A I B A is a really fantastic show anime. Check it out. And my song for the week is Heads Will Roll, Heads Will Roll Jersey Club remix by j TP. That song should be in the zeitgeist. It's the next. It really is just like the most hype song ever fucking made. And there that's awesome.

I'm trying to think of.

What movie I watched on the plane. I watched two movies. I watched a few. I watched The Farewell, which I had been avoiding watching because I knew it would make me cry. Yeah, and it was so fucking good. Like that movie was amazing and it like made me like so happy and like made me sob my ass off at the end.

What's her name?

I don't know her. I think her like I think her like show name is Aquafina, but I remember seeing that she had like her. I don't know if that's her actual name.

I fucking love her. Whatever her name is, oh her.

I think her real name is Nora Loom.

Yeah, her real name. I mean her, she's just like one of my favorite actresses. Yeah, she's like and her getting to do a serious role yeah really really.

And she like killed it and it was so fucking good. And then my music because I don't want to say all the movies that I watched, because I like don't really sit down and watch movies that much. I feel like I have to, like like spacemandom out. Oh, I have like so much fucking music that I want to talk about. When You're in Love with a Beautiful Woman by Doctor Hook, Borderline by Madonna because it reminds me of being a kid, Movies by Ashanti because the le

That's a lot of music that's like twenty songs. Well now I'm gonna say one The Blessed Family by Emily Mind You you have to, oh, you have to like beat Me for all its fury Reach by Davante Haynes.

I actually should have saved some of that music because fantastic Cat, Oh, fantastic cats, fantastic good. All right, we thank you so much for watching, and this plant will be an ever the episode. Now to make sure that doesn't eat it. Oh my god, I'm gonna punch in a vase. Bye Tride, stop it. Tie Ti m.