Welcome back to Emergency.
In circum This is the last episode.
This is the last time you will ever see us. We came back into this kitchen and we decided, I actually don't know if people realize this is the corner of our kitchen.
No, We've said that like a thousand times.
I said that to someone recently and they were like, you do that in your kitchen and I was like, yes, I that's in our kitchen, like which, actually I'm just going to take it as like, oh my god, wow, Like I would have never imagined something with such high production quality can happen in the kitchen. But you put a woman in the kitchen and you'll be amazed by what can happen.
Yeah, exactly, I've been saying that. No, I've literally we.
Need to put them back in the We need to go back to doing like what is it home ed like home?
I took a home at class in high school.
Yeah, we need to go back to doing that. But only girls join that and then the boys have to go run laps.
Yeah, i'd pick up wood. Yeah, okay, So I want to start this with the scam of the year, like it for real is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen in my entire life, like one of the most genius scams I've ever seen. Also, I saw a TikTok that someone made and it was that audio of like eyah.
Ally, oh yeah, I have the Adriana Linker song of like damn.
Yeah exactly, and it was like, uh, inya, or if they don't this is me listening to the podcast in twenty fifty, if they don't stop vaping or since they never actually stop vaping, or something like that, and I was like, damn, that's so real, except that I'm not vaping, so suck my balls.
Except also like I will simply get surgery, Like I will simply have vocaloids surgery, and then I'll just have tubes at my fingers that I can like hold, and then I'll sile like those old videos in the eighties.
People first remembered this when I saw that commercial the girl like yeah talking through the voice box on TV. I was so deranged and like, you want to fucked up that I wanted one of the first like I really like, I wanted like the hole in my throat and everything.
That's what I love about you, though, is you take a childhood dream and you make sure it happens.
You're getting the exactly, and all these haters saying, oh, stop vaping, stop vaping, Like no, I want a vocaloid box or whatever the fuck there.
Yeah, you chase your dreams. I'm just gonna get a synthesizer attached to it, like I would just modit the.
Fuck out and jealous.
Yeah, modular.
It'd be like the Hue app for your Life's accept it's for my phone and I can open garage band and start tweaking with my boys.
The way that that is probably going to be a thing in our lifetime when we can.
We're going to see when she's ninety years old one doing that.
Yeah, exactly, they're gonna come. We're gonna combined with like machine and you're gonna be able to do like all the TikTok voice filters, but inside of your phone. Okay, scam of the year. I think they're a troll. I can't tell, but like whatever, I went to her Twitter page to screenshot these posts. I mean, it's it's truly amazing, Like I've never seen anything like this in my life, and I don't think we'll ever see anything like this. For a very very long time. So this is the tweet.
So it starts off by saying, hello, Twitter peeps, my friend Elizabeth is looking for an unvaxed sperm donor. Her requirements are blue eyes, five ten or five eleven or taller, STD free, must be natural insemination, and will not do IVF DM me, which is fucking it, which is.
So vincent gallo coded, it's actually insane.
Is so insane, And then she goes on to post my next post tomorrow will be no man makeup photos of Lizzie with her age, sexual pass, vaccination status, approximate location, and price. To inciminate her, I will take ten percent of the matchmaking fee to.
Qualify girl getting getting bowed.
Literally to qualify. To qualify, you will need to send her the investment price up front. Have two referrals coming from your unvaxed status. Send a clean STD test, send a close up photo of your eye color in pictures of your upper body. Marital status can be married, but wife must be okay with it. So that's already like the most insane thing you've ever heard, right, Yeah, So she goes on to post again, Hello again, Twitter peeps.
Here are her details and she posts three pictures of this like very beautiful woman, Germish, German, Swedish ancestry, body count two people, celibate for the two past two years, twenty three years old, unvaxed, meat focused diet, blah blah blah blah law and then she will have the support system of her younger brother and grandmother when this baby is born, which she's only twenty three.
How old is her younger brother? Like twenty Like I want to be that.
It does sound like.
A trustworthy trio, like the oldest person in your family, your grandma. Yeah, you're the youngest person in your family, and your little brother and then you who's.
Only twenty three.
It's it's insane.
Can I see the picture of the woman?
Uh? They deleted it off of Twitter. I wanted to say, I can. I can find Twitter. She's pretty beautiful, but I'll find her. Then she posts this long post saying like she is not looking for a husband or boyfriend. She will remain celibate after this. Your schedule must be free to accommodate her ovulations cycle. She will give you as much notice as possible. She has decided not to go through with the upfront fee, so don't worry about that. So the upfront fee that they were talking about is gone.
She is asking that you remain in touch for the future for reinseminations, as she's looking to have three children over the next five years. As you can see, she's incredibly beautiful, intelligent, and has a very nice child bearing body. Your offspring, offspring will be raised extremely well.
Okay, as you can see she's intelligent, Like we don't know that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she is asking. Oh so this is this is where it gets interesting. She says, please, oh my god, why can't I speak today? I've like literally stumbled over every fucking word.
Read I know literally, So not that you can't speak, you can't read.
Okay. So then she says, please DM me your application. I will be in touch with further with further details if she seems or deems you qualified. Thank you. Oh you can kind of see her in this picture.
Oh yeah, she's cute.
Yeah. So she goes to her dms this girl the original poster, and she opens them to find thousands, I mean literally thousands of messages from dudes who like meet her specific qualifications that are literally like begging to have sex with this woman and saying, yeah, my wife's okay with it, like blah blah blah blah blah, like I want to have sex with her, Like let me have my child with her. She's beautiful, I'm beautiful. Let's make beautiful babies like whatever. So she goes through the dms
and then sends them all. She says, oh, by the way, like I want. She wants you to take a twenty three and me DNA test. So she sends them a link to sign up for twenty three and me, and probably a thousand people respond and they're like, oh, like, I signed up, I took the test, here's my DNA results.
I fit her qualifications. Well, people did some fucking digging in twenty three and Me has a referral program that she gets twenty dollars every single person that signs up to do twenty three and me with her referral code. So this girl probably made twenty thousand dollars off of referral twenty three and mealnks just scamming horny nasty.
So what she said, the intelligent thing she was literally just talking about herself.
Is that not the most incredible thing you've ever heard?
A crazy scam.
Yeah, and it's like like won't we won't see something like that in a very long time. And then that just made me think about like so much shit and how like there are so many scams happening right now that like we're not even like understanding that her scamming.
There's a crazy one I saw somebody talking about. But before I say that, that's what I'm saying is like, you leave a woman in the kitchen, you'll be amazed. But she comes up with because she later came out and said that she was in the kitchen cooking, and then she had that idea.
No, she didn't, she.
Did, she did.
She got on her ID story and then she also sent me a Hello Fresh link because she was like, I'm cooking this. And then I came up with this idea, you should sign up for HelloFresh.
And then you'll be amazing. You're being scammed.
I signed up.
I have eighteen hundred meals for this year, So you gave.
Her like what is eighteen hundred times twenty dollars, like forty thousand dollars.
Well, I'm gonna be eating good, So that's a positive of it.
I don't know. I don't know, the one caveat to her scam, which I don't know if she didn't read the fine print or not, but I was looking through and then the fine print it says that it's twenty dollars Amazon gift cards, but like you can get a lot of shit with twenty dollars.
Yeah, you can literally like supply your whole house with new furniture.
Yeah.
Also Amazon has everything now, like you can literally live a very She could literally get an iPad off of their get a few iPads, sell them.
Yeah, and you know your money. You know it's hilarious is after going through a Twitter I realized after she scammed all these dudes, she'd kept this scam and the lie and the fraud up and was like, all right, we found our bull and like like posted this man and her together and it's obviously like fake photos of this girl that she just screenshot on off of somebody's Instagram account and like it's her with her boyfriend or something, and yeah, it's it was.
It's also so funny because what are you gonna do go to small claims court and explain that to a judge. Like Okay, so this might sound crazy, but my mom my wife agreed that I could have sex with this really young, like gorgeous girl, but she stole thirty dollars from me.
Also like like the.
Judge's gonna be like, okay, like why are you here.
I used to run a scam in high school where we would scam Starbucks.
Ooh yeah.
So basically we would go in, we would order something.
Oh, and then just steal it off the table.
Well, you'd wait and then they would put it out, they'd say the name, and then your friend would come and take it. And then you would go up and be like, someone stole my drink and they'd be like, oh, we're sorry, here's a gift card and we'll make another drink.
Damn, damn, that's a scam. I was gonna ask if y'all had any scam growing up, because I tried a few, but like nothing really stuck.
I had a scam, but we're just gonna have to bleep my mouth and.
Like, actually it was it was, Oh wait, actually I do have a really good scam. But it was when we were on tour there was somebody who will not be named, who was literally sexually harassing the fuck out
of me. Also, fun fact, this same person I became friends with them because I might have said this story already, but anyway, the same person I met when I was really young online because they were a hairy Styles fan and was this like cute guy and obviously we all assumed he was gay because he would literally be on the line being like, oh, I want to fucking chogrys like so we were like, okay.
P Like he thought he was scamming, that's the thing.
Yeah, he thought he was scamming, and we were like, pro, you're one of the girls. No, but he did scam the fucking of me. But I scammed it back later on.
Anyway, No, tell them how, tell them how.
I have to start at the beginning because I think I told you this, but like I don't remember. But this part just funny because like I didn't realize this until he started sexually harassing me. But me and him became pretty close. We were like tight friends. I thought he was gay. The way we interacted was so like I'd be like blah blah blah and he'd be like yes, per so I'm like okay, yeah, like whatever. Never talked about girls, never flirted with me. It was very plato.
I was like, Okay, this is a safe space. I thought I just had like a gay homie online. And then at the same time, like while we're friends, there was this guy who had a really big crush on and me and him were being like nasty fucking teenagers online and I was like, I think I'm gonna send him a nude, but like, I'm scared to I've never sent a nude. And this kid literally, we'll just call him fucking Xavier. This kid Xavier literally was like, oh, like.
Where I don't know. It's like the most Like why not John Doe.
Okay, we'll call it fucking John. Okay.
I only said Xavier because the first day I thought of we know somebody with that name, and then I was like, I'm not gonna say that name. And it was the closest one in the alphabet, so so John, he was like, oh, just like send me the nude first and I'll tell you if it's like good enough to send to him.
So I sent this.
Kid a picture of my fucking boobs at the age of like I was like fifteen. I sent him a picture of my boobs and he was like, oh, IMG, like you look so fucking hot.
Gread queen you're eating boots, queenie Bee.
He kept it out to you, like girl, you look so fucking good, like, oh my god, you're serving boots like whatever. And I'm like, oh my god, okay, fine, and like whatever. So that passed. Time goes on. I joined this tour. John is on the tour, and at first I'm like, oh my god, that's so fun. I get to meet my longtime mutual who I'm friends with. He starts getting like really flirtatious when he finds out I'm getting on the tour, and I was like whoa.
And then I hadn't been.
On his Twitter for a long time because we kind of like separated by that time because I joined the tour when I was like sixteen seventeen, so like a year had passed, and i go on his Twitter and he has a girlfriend and I'm like, oh, oh my god.
And I start connecting the dots. I'm like, oh my god.
This motherfucker got nudes out of me and I fully thought he was gay.
So time goes on tour.
I somehow never really see him while.
We're on tour because he was a fucking freak. He was so isolated and he was.
Such a freak.
He was such a perver and like not in a lipweight, he was a fucking perv like.
Lips like your pervy uncle, like can be kind of lit sometimes.
I'm kidding, but he like, hello, are you okay? You're hiding?
So I somehow avoid him, but he keeps sending me like very sexual messages, like the whole time I'm on tour. I'm ignoring them because I'm also like, you have a girlfriend, like you are so weird, I'm not getting involved in this.
Also, you scammed or he scammed you, dude.
Which I never confronted him about, but whatever.
I was just like all that by bygones, like, bitch, I'll take my l to like I'll take it to the chin, like whatever you all the time when I was younger, yes, but by this time I was like girl, like.
Bitch, you like literally tweet that I want to see what he looks like right now because I know he aged horrible because he was also.
Like one of those like I'm not going to give any details into who he is, but just know he was like an emo scene team.
Yeah, so like that was like but I actually thought he was cute, but I was never attracted to.
Him because I was also just like in my head, I had it so solidified that he didn't like women, so like there was no room for my brain to even go there. Yeah, but I'm walking down the hall one day he opens the door.
Also, mind you, he can't. Every weekend he'd be like.
Come to my room, come to my room, come to my room, like on snapchat, and I'm like, leave me the fuck alone. One day, he somehow catches me walking down the hallway to my hotel room and he comes out and he's like, you want to come inside. I'm like no, and he's like, why don't you just come in? It's just me and here, and I'm like that's why I'm not calling in, and then I literally turned to keep walking. He proceeded he.
Was stalking you.
I proceed to go hang out with our other friends and he starts like snapchatting me, and I explained to the friends of ours what was happening at the time, and they were like, okay, start replying to him, and we're gonna take fucking pictures.
So I would reply and be like, what do you want?
He started asking me, mind you, we are all fucking miners. He starts literally trying to solicit sex for money from me. He's like, if you come into my room and give me head, I will give you one hundred and fifty dollars.
Also no offense, okay, me.
Having never given a head like before my life. Low key like at face value, that is what it would cost.
But I was like, what the fuck it, We're taking pictures of it.
And then I was like, I remember I sent him a picture of my ID and I was like, let me know if this matches your girlfriend's ID, because I think you might be messaging the wrong account, and like we're just trolling him back and forth, and then he won't stop, and I was like, Hey, just want to let you know. I have pictures of all of this, and if you don't just send me one hundred and fifty dollars, I'm gonna fucking post it on Twitter. And then he freaked the fuck out and sent me money.
And then our other homegirls on tour did the same scam because the word got around and we all were like, dude, he's been doing that to all of us.
So he was sexually harassing.
Every girl, every girl on the tour and everybody like one of our homegirls, literally without our knowledge, was doing the same thing to.
Him that night and sent him pictures of other nude girls. Yeah, like she googled up hot nude girl and sent it to him, and he sent her like two hundred dollars over like he.
Believed it was her mind you Like she sent like a tatted up girl too, and like this girl did not have tattoos. But yeah, that's probably my best scam.
Is I funness of life.
I got one hundred and fifty dollars and then our we should literally still went and posted all of it because he was like, no, literally he doesn't get He not only deserves to reap the financial consequence of that, but he I just found out he was harassing all
of y'all. No, he's not getting away with it, and he tweeted and then the fucking manager from the tour actually pulled me aside and started to yell at me and was like, I can't believe you did that to him, Like why wouldn't you just say something to me?
And I was like, do you see how you're reacting to this right now?
Like, oh he ar that manager was literally the worst person he ever so.
He was like, why are you throwing my boy under the bus? Like can we live?
There are so many stories, so many evil, wicked things that happened that, like he sued people before, so I can't talk about it, but like, dude, like creepy shit, I'll just say one thing that happened to me with him. Oh, but I know I like, was I turned seventeen on the tour, Like, and I was away on tour when I was seventeen years old and he got me a gift and I was like, oh, that's like really sweet, like thank you for the gift. Do you know what
he got me? He got me boxer briefs Calvin Klein boxer briefs, which like isn't in inherently weird, but don't get a seventeen year old fucking underwear.
For his especially when you have the weirdest relationships with other young people.
Yeah, tour like he would also be like, oh, he's like Drew, you're like the sassy one, Like you're so sassy and like you're so quick at the mouth and you're sassy, Like I just love your sassy nature, which is him hate crime at me.
Literally, he was like, you're just so like crazy and like weird.
You're crapy, you're weird and not normal. And then one time I got into his car and actually we were both.
In the car when this happened.
I think, no, no, no. He was taking me to the airport and I got into the car, and you know how like on some cars, like your phone automatically connects to Bluetooth. Where he was sitting in the driver's seat, and then he was like, oh fuck, I have to go check out of the y'all's rooms because we stayed back an extra day. And he went and checked out of our or checked us out of our rooms because we were not old enough to do it. And he left the car and his phone was still connected to Bluetooth.
And then I look at the screen on the car, and on the screen it's like the nastiest, grossest porn title I've ever seen, like in it's like ex videos, Like I don't even want to say the title, but it was like naughty, naughty, nasty, gross shit. And I was screaming, laughing.
I thought you were gonna say the Dropbox story, Oh, draw is the Dropbox story d.
Incriminating? Crazy? Also the fact that like we.
Fucking allegedly allegedly. Everything I've said is allegedly allegedly allegedly. None of this actually happened. I'm making all of this up. This is all allegedly and nothing.
Writing this for like a really funny skit story, just hoping somebody will just make skits out.
Of these jokes for me.
Yeah. So the Drawbox story is I had like a brand deal. I don't even know how the how old I was. I was probably sixteen or seventeen. It was near the end of the tour. Maybe maybe I was eight. I don't know, but I no.
Matter what age you are, the HR violation, Yeah, that ensued, and I think.
It was on purpose. Older I get the more I'm like this, you don't.
Do that and not know that that's on there also like okay, just keep going because it's so funny.
So I had to like do a brand deal. It was like my first brand deal, and I had no idea like what the fuck I was doing, and like I needed to like upload the footage to my email, but the video file was too big, So like I text my manager and I was like, hey, I need to like I need to know how to upload a video I had like no money at the time, so I couldn't get my own dropbox and like file share whatever that website is wasn't working, so he was like, oh,
we just used my dropbox, so like I'm like, oh cool. So I'm like trying to figure out how to use dropbox and like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. So I'm like like uploading the video and then like I noticed that there are files on there, and like I'm a snooper, like I snooped, Like, don't give.
Me anything any person would have done this.
Like don't give me anything with personal information on it, because like I will find out what pills you're taking and know if I can get high on them, Like I will find out your tax history if it's in a drawer in your house. Like don't let me in your house because I'm a snooper. Especially don't let me in your drop box if you got this shit on there.
So I like am going through the drop box and like there's just a bunch of inconspicuous shit, like how much he's paying people like whatever, like his like payouts for other people, and I'm like, ooh, this is fun, Like this is fun. Seeing how much we're all getting paid.
So it was crazy because that was like the beginning of the end because discrepans also also to like clarify for anybody who doesn't know, we were on this tour like a social media tour right at the beginning of like that era of that style of.
Like b or Ce list mag cons. Yeah, like that's what it was.
So it was like that era.
Like I think this era too, the magcn like series has come out, and that was kind of the start of it. That like when Cameron not Cameron Dallas, the other the really gross one, the like tailor something like the one sucks, he was like, where was my per dim And we.
Were all like, wait, let me google.
And then we found out because we weren't being paid, like some people were being paid on tour, which we had no idea about until this, Yeah, but like none of us were being paid, and we were all like, oh, this is just for like so we can see our fucking friends and like actually explore the world.
In a very small way because he'd be like, we're going to La but we're like in touring, stuck in a hotel with like no uber It's.
Like a landlog and we didn't have money for uber and like there was no pul for money.
And he'd be like, no, yeah, but that's what we're talking about, and we weren't being paid. And then you found all that out.
Yeah, oh, like I want to see like more shit, like there must be good ship in here. And then I stumbled upon a folder that was one of the most horrifying things in my life. And I'm not gonna speak about that because like that's not chill. But then I know.
That's what I was gonna say.
I was gonna say, you can't mention one of the things because it was so fucking weird, and like literally, I hope this person has sued this person. Yeah whatever.
But then I scroll a little more and I like find another folder and in the folder are a bunch of nudes and I'm like, oh, like this is interesting, Like what is this all about? And like I look and I see it just a lot of wicked, weird shit, and like I've never shut my laptop faster and I wish I downloaded all that shit to my computer. If I knew how to, I would have, but like, oh yeah, I And that.
Was like when Drew when we all saw Drew the next stop. He was like, y'all need to see this, and we all like gathered around the computer like all those like literally kids just like looking. I mean, like what And at this point we all fucking hated him because you told us about the money thing and we were like, oh, word, like now we know how much money he's making us, or how much money he's making he's never paid us. Then we started finding out that like we never got.
Paid for a single shot paid.
And the way he would like back it up like morally is that he was like.
He would always. One time he literally tweeted a.
Bunch of screenshots of him paypaling me for brand deals, which I never saw the contracts of, Like I never we never saw contracts, We never saw anything. He'd be like, Oh, this company wants to give you like a thousand dollars for this or like this company, like I think the biggest one was like, uh when my YouTube was like at its height, they were like, oh, this company wants to give you five thousand dollars.
I was literally a senior in high school.
And I was like, holy shit, I'm gonna literally get my parents house rich.
I'm rich.
And then as I got older, I thought about it. I was like, at that time, my videos were getting a million views each and.
Then I was like, oh my god.
I never saw the contracts, so he would just pick and choose amounts and like he would like we got maybe each like four brand deals from him over the like four years of working from him, And.
One of one of the brand deals I got was a song pop brand deal. And there are people still playing against my bot AI song Pops like account and they'll like post it and be like, oh my gosh, Drew, like you're doing so good and they probably think we're like best friends forever, but like, no, it's not me, like if they made a AI bot that was me on song Pop two.
But yeah, he would like that was his way of like anytime we would be like, hey, you're not paying us, he'd be like, are.
You not fucking happy? And yeah, I'm like happy, but like and not really.
He was like, well, we can just stop the tour now if you want to be paid, because like and you'll never see your friends again. And he would like hold our like friendships.
With each Charley textas that once, like I in the big group chat was like I don't think I can keep doing this because we found out some people were getting paid and the amounts they were getting paid was fucking insane.
So we were like, so we were selling more tickets than everybody. Me and Enya we had like a ticket passed together, and near the end of the tour, we were selling like a shit ton of tickets and we were seeing no money and the only way we got paid was through merch sales at the shows.
Even that he would be like, oh my god, guys, you sold three hundred hoodies.
Congrats, here's fifty dollars said, we'd be like, oh my god, yeah, and then as we got older.
We were like, wait a second, each hoodie is like fifty dollars.
Only get fifty dollars.
But yeah, we had friends on tour who literally like had crazy merch sales and saw nothing of it. Like we all were ending up leaving the tour because we started to realize how much money he was making because when we were kids when we first joined it, like, I don't even think I ever looked at the ticket like how much tickets costed, because I was just like, oh, this is a fun thing to see my friends, and I get to meet followers, Like I never thought that would be like a thing I get to do.
And then as time went on and as we got older, we were like.
Wait a second, these tickets are like incredibly expensive.
Yeah, like thousand dollars ticket packages, like crazy, insane.
Also, like he would work us to the fucking bone because we would land on a Friday after school, so we would I would leave school, go straight to the airport. Land have to get to the airport, get an uber on my own dime. Like it was crazy, Like I would have to get myself an uber. Also, he would put us on Spirit flights all the time.
And his nasty, stinky, fucking decrepit, gross, rotten, disgusting, evil dog would sit first class with him on the pack he would get, and he put us in the back on Spirit where my iPhone couldn't even fucking sit on the table, and my ass would literally fall off on these goddamn flights because I'm sitting on fucking cardboard next
to like, oh my god, getting angry again, dude, It's crazy. Also, he held this hostage with drugs, like he would literally like get us high and then like we would be like, oh, if we go away we get high like it was. It was.
It was like literally, if I go away, I can have like any substance.
Game killers, like pain killers, muscle relaxers. We'd like it.
Was alcohol like everything on it as a child, like you could have because this fucking crazy man. Also he would put us on like the craziest like I just went to Atlanta for the first time, like actually leaving the airport. I have been in the Atlanta airport eight million times. Because not only when he put us on Spirit flights, but we'd be going to like New York and he would be like, okay, here's like a double
stop flight from Miami to New York. That's only a three hour flight, and it would become like a five hour excursion. We would land and then have to do a meet and greet like through the night. Then we would get fucked up and wake up like shaking, hungover because he fed us alcohol and drugs withdrawal withdrawals and meet like four hundred people, and then he'd be like, all right, now go.
Home like we would have. It was. It was so crazy. And meanwhile, while all of this was going on, my mom like was very concerned about it all. She was like dude, like I don't know about this, Like I want you to be able to do your thing and like like be happy, but like something feels wrong about this, and like so she would be talking to this guy, the manager of it all, and he would just be blatantly lying to my mom about everything, and like, I don't know. It was just such a like such a
bizarre experience and like I wouldn't trade it for the world. Literally, I'm not kidding. Like at the end of it all, like it was lit like we were fucked up, like we I don't know, it was. It was super psychic. That's like the one thing argument.
Is I met like all of my literally you, Christian and Orian I all met through that, and you guys are like some of my main.
Do you remember the first time we hung out like that was so sweet? That was so sweet.
It was fucking awesome And there's a picture to commemorate it. Yeah we're yeah, but yeah, it was so crazy. And then like towards the end, I just started becoming like subordinate as fuck, Like I became literally a monster to him because I was so pissed. And one time in front of everybody, like you in the end because he was like refusing to pay us.
Gross.
He was like refusing to pay all of us. And we were sitting in the like the dining hall of this fucking hotel and we were having our lunch break, and he, in front of everybody, was trying to like clock me and like like literally just boss up on me to like show like I still have power, And in front of everybody, he was like talking to everybody about like posting links for the next weekend for tickets, and then he points me out and he goes, you
haven't posted about like the shows in like weeks, like you're not doing your part. And I was like, I'm not. And I remember I said him. I was like, if a brand has to post for me, like pay for me to post a link, you need to pay me to post a fucking link if I'm gonna be selling tickets for you in front of everybody. And then he was like are you serious, Like are you trying to have this conversation with me right? Noah blah blah blah,
and like I just ignored everything he said. I can't remember what he said because he was so fucking disgusting, and he was wearing a gray shirt and he was sweating through it, and he just looked so.
Nasty, Like I have a picture of him in my head and when I think of him, that's the moment I think of him. When he had like beads of sweat going down his face and like he was all shiny and like had like just gross, like nasty old man hair like.
And he was wearing a gray shirt and sweating through it. And I was like, I, literally in front of everybody, go, why are you always so fucking sweaty? Like you were always sweating through your goddamn clothes. It's fucking cold here.
And then he was like, I have I have kidney stones. Don't talk to me like that.
And I was like, he stormed up, does.
Kidney stones have to do with it?
And then he literally left the room and we just like ate and went back to meeting people, and I feel like it didn't happen, And yeah, I just became like so awful to him, and like in front of everybody, I would do all the time, Like one time he was trying to get on my ass again and I had found out that he bought like one of the people, one of his like minions, a bunch of YouTube equipment, and then I was like, you need to buy me a fucking ring light in a tripod and he was like, no,
I don't. And I was like, that's funny because I found out that you bought so and so and so and so that shit, So why the fuck don't you do it for me? And I was like, I'm literally getting the fuck out of here, like I'm not doing the meat and greet and I got up to like act like I was walking out, and he was like fine.
Fine, like what's your address?
And I stood over his shoulder while he got on Amazon and ordered me a bunch of stuff.
And I was like that tole his debit card or didn't steal. He gave it to us. And then we went to seven eleven and we spent like five hundred dollars, like.
We spent so much money, and I bought myself a bunch of Amazon gift cards. And then finally we quit because everybody started quitting because we were all like, oh my god, it's almost like you're scamming a bunch of children.
This is bad. But on the same track of scams.
Before I was I have like a couple of things.
Some scams I can't believe I was actually able to ring this back in and just remembered it, Like, God is amazing.
God is so good sometimes.
But the scam I saw recently is this girl was telling a story about how she got stood up on a hinge date and she like went to the restaurant she got stood up, and she was like, whatever, I already got all nice and pretty and I'm not about to just walk out of this restaurant.
I feel too embarrassed to do it.
I'm just gonna order myself a nice meal and just be like this person didn't show up, that there was a family emergency, and she talking about scams, yeah, and she was like, yeah, I just decided to sit and have a meal to myself because I was like sad
and I just wanted to treat myself. Another girl stitched it and was like, I have a very similar story, and I was talking to my friend she had a similar story, and they looked into it and found out that there are restaurants making fake hinge and Tinder profiles and catfishing as people to bait people into going into restaurants because they know that nine times out of ten, if a woman shows up to a restaurant and gets
stood up, She's probably still gonna dine there. So restaurants are doing it as a ployed to get people into restaurants to fucking get meals and to like boost their business because then the chances are that person be like, oh, this restaurant's nice, Like I'll come back here.
People are so smart, they're so evil. Oh.
I heard another hinge scam where this guy made an AI He like generated like this really hot girl and made the photos super realistic and then they matched with like like thousands of guys in cities that had Soho Houses I'm pretty sure. And she he had it so that her profile was like the ideal date would be getting drinks at Soho House. So then like she gets on like the top, like what hottest people on hinge whatever,
matches with like tens of thousands of guys. He automated a script to do this, and then the price of Soho House his stock like went up because they had like a seven thousand percent increase in people that sign up for Soho House, and then he like longed the stock or something and made like a million Holy shit.
People are like.
Like they're genius.
They were about their fucking money.
Scammers put their energy. Actually, no, I'm not even gonna say that. Literally, stay scamming because you're making bread like that's literally the economy. Yeah, like stimulate the economy, bro, dude. This one scam I did when I was like probably like thirteen or fourteen is I don't know if I should say it, but I I'm not gonna say it.
I decided I'm not going to have something that I feel like I can't say.
Because I know I was okay what I did.
Evil, but they were like, I don't want to give literal children awful ideas.
I was, okay, I'll say what I did. So what I did is when I was really young, I went on a vacation to India, and while I was there, I found a call center for set sale for thirty dollars, I bought it. And so every time you're grandparents seven, every time your grandparents get a scam call, it's lining my pockets, motherfuckers. And that's how I make my money. And if you take that away from me, you're gonna burn. You're gonna burn with the rest of the people that
tried to take it away from me. Remember the people buried in Central Park by the Big Rock. Oh, they tried to fuck with my pockets. They tried to fuck with my money, and they learned their lesson. Yeah, they learned their lesson. So yeah, since I've been seven years old, I've been scamming old people out of money through calls.
So why do you do the podcast then?
Because like this in comparison, this isn't like as financially like fulfilling.
It's because I am passionate about it.
Oh yeah, yeah, this is your passion.
About Yeah, I'm passionate about it.
You're so stupid. I was like, what do you.
No?
But I did get scammed before, and I love my get scam story. Have y'all been scammed before?
Yeah?
I've been scammed so many times. One time, I like, this one's a stupid scam. But it was still in the like the beginning era of grailed. I it's actually so mean because I bought it for my friend and then I just like looked like a liar, but I showed him the receipt and showed him I got scammed. But me and my friend, in like geometry class or some shit, we would always joke with geometry geometry. Is that not like how you say it or do you? Oh wait, no, you're only thirteen, so you don't.
Have that class yet.
What geometry is?
Oh, it's like a math related class.
You'll get it in high school.
Math is just numbers. Why don't they just call it math?
Well, it's because it's like a little more.
I don't know why. Actually that's a really good question. Someone like you was so.
Insightful beyond my geometry.
Is geometry not like when it's like shape based.
I was like so scared you didn't know.
I only know that because that was the only type of math I was good at.
For some reason, that math is fun and lit because you can visualize, yeah, because you're.
Looking at images, so it's like ooh ooh, like I bet I can guess how long this fucking this side of this triangle is and it's like fun. But then like algebra and stuff, I was really bad.
Fuck algebra, dude. I literally failed. Oh my god, Oh my god, it's so sad. It was like I was like going into like sixth grade and we were taking like pre algebra classes, and all the cool kids took the pre algebra class and I took it. And I did really good going into.
Seventh beasts at pre algebra, and then they get to algebra, it's like yeah.
And then in seventh grade, the first week of class, I had no idea what the fuck was going on, and I was just guessing and it was so and all of my friends and peers knew what to do, they were passing. It just wasn't clicking with my brain. It was so bad that my teacher pulled me out of the class to have a conversation with me and was like, look, true, like you don't know what you're doing, and like I don't have time to teach you how to do it, so like you need to really really
consider going to a regular math class. And I went to a regular math class and I cried in the hallway because I was so embass because I had never not been good at something I tried. And that was the first time it happened, and I learned a big.
First and last time. Yeah, well I was so bad at math, Like I'm just.
Really bad at scam story real quick.
Yeah, this is like so quick.
Though.
When I did the SATs, I forgot that I had to bring a calculator and I.
Bombed the bath.
I literally it was senior year and I couldn't even remember how to do long division at that point, and I was like, damn, I am fucked.
It was actually the first person to get a score on the SAT below ten. Yeah, I was like, she got a seven writing your name? Yeah, she didn't know how she didn't she didn't have a calculator. How was she going to write her name?
I just like drew boobs in all the like spots that I was her grades.
This is really horny.
I was gonna say, if I was grading that test, she would have got like a three thousand.
I did really good on reading and writing, though, Like I killed that.
Yeah you've always been like, but that math Like.
My sad score was just passing because I got like almost one hundred percent on reading and writing, I like killed it. And then what's like plummeted my score was. I'm not kidding. I don't even think I got above like an eight hundred or like what what's like the total tally? I think it's sixteen hundred. I think I got like a thirteen hundred, and it's because I got like almost eight hundred on my SAT and then I literally got maybe three hundred. I don't know if those
are the right numbers. It was actually so long ago this it's like kind of scary, but yeah it.
Was really bad.
Yeah uh I was I gonna say you're scam. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah. So this is about me getting scammed because I feel like it's only right if we talk about scams. We've done that. We have to talk about scams we've got got by, And like everybody's been gotten by a scam at one point in their life. I know it, and you might not know it, but
you were scammed. But one scam that got me, which I feel like it's on almost like a rite of passage, like for Boyhood is I was playing Modern Warfare two, and like if you know anything about Modern Warfare two, you know that there were like modded lobbies, like randomly where you would join the lobby and you would have every gun unlocked, every camo unlocked, every attachment or not attachment, every like calling card and emblem and all that shit
would just be unlocked. And I wanted that so bad, and it would be on your account for like twenty four hours. It was like a virus. I forget what they called it, but I wanted it so bad, and all of my friends got it. They would just randomly end up in these lobbies, and I was like, what the fuck, why don't I have good luck? Like invite me next time? Like what the hell, like text me or something like I want to be in one of these lobbies because all my friends had everything unlocked and
I was just still like a fucking scrub. So I had the wise idea to get on eBay because I know, I knew you could buy shit, because I like had a tag Xbox, because I wanted to learn how to make modded lobbies myself, and like I wanted a lag switch.
We've talked about those before in the last episode. And I saw links that you could buy these modded lobbies where like if you bought it, you would be invited to a modded lobby of like forty people and they would infect you with the mod, so your account would now be able to infect other people with the mod. So I was like, oh, I could like even sell this, like this is lit, like I could sell this to
my other friends. I don't have it. So I bought it and it was like twenty I remember it was twenty five dollars and fifty cents and I bought it on my dad's credit card because I didn't have any fucking money, and so I took his card bought it whatever. So I wait for the email. I get the email and he's like, okay.
Like I literally ate that I lost because I thought of d.
D d mega doo doo. He's saying, we'll get into that in a second. But so I bought it and I'm waiting. I get the email and in the email, he's like, okay, for you to join my lobby, I need your password and your email to your account. And I was like, oh, okay, like yeah, yeah, yeah, and so I give it to him. But I was like, I don't know. I was old enough to know not to do that, but I did it.
Any had Twitter and stuff at this point, like you should have know.
Yeah, no, no, it was like pre Twitter.
It was like I guess, yeah, because yeah, yeah.
I remember, like it was before Twitter because like, actually, shortly after this, my friends were trying to explain to me what a hashtag was and I literally could not comprehend what a fucking hashtag was and they couldn't explain it either. And I still to this day, don't think anybody can actually verbalize what a hashtag is on Twitter. But it's like literally like just like a silent rule that we all know. It's so weird. But i give him my email and password and then I'm just waiting
for him to email me back. He doesn't, and I'm like, oh, cool, he just took my money, Like fuck this guy. But he had given me his gamer tag. So I join a party with him and I'm like, hey, like when are we going to do the thing? And he was like, oh, are you and then said my gamer tag and I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, and he was like, oh,
like we're hosting the lobby soon. Sorry, I forgot to send you the email and he was like a kid my age and I was like, oh word, like this is interesting, this is exciting, Like I'm gonna be in the lobby soon. And then I am sitting there and I get logged out of my account like three seconds after I joined his party and talk to him and leave the party, and I'm like, oh, that's weird. So I go to log back in and I'm able to
log back in, and I'm like what the fuck? Like that was so weird and then so I joined his party again and I just like wanted to chop it up with him, and he was like just talking to me about random shit. And then I get logged out again and I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And then I can't log back in, so I'm like, fuck, dude, like he changed, like the kid changed my password. So then I like start running and screaming because my dad's card is on that account and I didn't want him
to like get his information somehow. So I finally tell my parents I got scammed, and they're fucking pissed. So then my mom is like, how do how do I talk to his fucking kid? You were talking about how would I fucking talk to him? And she was like cussing at me and she was angry. So my mom logs into my brother's account, adds him and gets on the mic and starts screaming at his kid, and he's like he's like, my mom's like give me your fucking mother.
I need to talk to your fucking mother, like screaming at him, and like he's like, give hi, my kids a count back. If you take any of our fucking money, we're suing you we're gonna ruin your life and like all this shit, and the kid starts crying and gets his mom on and my mom starts talking to this mom about scamming, and the kid is in the back like screaming like oh no, like please, I didn't do that, like, and the mom's like, give me, give the kid the
password to the account. So then he gives me the new password and the email and I log back in, I get my account back. My older brother changes the password and that was the rest of that.
My pRIFLE ass would have taken that to the grave, like like I wouldn't have told my parents. I would have been like I just like prayed that I got like no word back from it.
So scared, dude, I remember. It was like the most scared I've been in my life until I got chased by a man in my own home.
It was a kind It was being scammed on modern warfare and then being chased by a burgler.
Chased by a burglar modern warfare hacker. Yeah. But fun end to the story is I actually ended up getting a model lobby. Yeah, and I had the tenth Prestige emblem and everything, and if you know, you know tenth Prestige was the go, just like the Spinning School.
I only even thought of the DD Mega Doodoo because I was thinking about, like, oh, I wish I could hack my Fortnite and like play a hacked lobby and like thinking about that, and then I thought about me playing it last night, and that's somehow ending.
Up Mega Doodoo. I don't remember how we got there, but.
Oh, because I was watching the Gypsy ROAs thing, which if you were watching the Gypsy Rose lifetime thing, I am so fucking upset. This is a spoiler, but I think you would get to this anyways, and you would
stop watching too. They're trying to make it like a reality show Kardashian's ass thing, where it's like the drama, the drama between their marriage, like they're already ex like and they're doing like interviews with the husband stuff before and this is before she got out, and like I literally stopped.
I think it's episode seven or eight.
I stopped watching last night because I was like, no, you're not, You're not about to brain watched me into watching like a TLC reality show, a fucking Gypsy Rose, Like I want the t I want crazy shit.
I don't want this like made up think of Like.
He's sitting down with the family trying to convince them he loves her. Like what the fuck am I watching bitch fuck you?
I don't give a fuck like that, and I just don't fuck with it. And I'm like the comments the D was fire.
Yeah, the D is fire, The D is fire the D.
And then he goes exactly, I don't care about the haters, come and get it.
Yeah.
That is also he looks just okay, let's talk about this. He looks just like her mother, which I was talking I was thinking about it last night. I was like, dude, like that girl is never going to have a normal life. It is so dark. Every single person that comes into her life is going to be using her for fame, money, and fortune. I'm not saying that he is, but she will never have a friend, Like she can never leave
this guy. Like it's just so dark to me, Like it's so like it's such an evil situation.
Her life is being projected in such a way that she'll never just walk into a random place and people not know.
Who she is. Yeah, it's like even.
More so than before, Like her life was already headed for that, but the fact that she got on TikTok and immediately got like ten million followers like your toast.
Yeah, but I will say something else funny that happened with the Gypsy stuff is like before when she first got out and everyone was commenting like slay like your mother, slay mother, your mother, Like you're serving like slay mother, slay mamas, like all that shit in her comments, and everyone or someone was like, wait, maybe we shouldn't say that because she literally slaid her mother, Like she literally slayed her mom, Like, maybe we don't say.
That her comments I saw yesterday. Also, like in the last episode, it was like she goes, I'm literally a murderer, and that kind of I was like, all right, let's real back a little because you didn't do shit.
No, you did not do shit.
You're just like you instacarted a murderer.
You're not a murderer.
It's like if you poke the enough, they're gonna attack.
Yeah.
Like I was just like but for some reason, like I was like, all right, now you're trying to get street cred that you don't really own.
Like no, no, she's a killer. She's hard as.
Fun a killer, but like metaphorically like she's she's killing the game.
But yeah, Also, uh Ariana Grande dating someone that looks just like her brother. There's some weird, creepy shit going.
That's always a thing.
Though.
It's like.
I can name like three other people who I am like the person you're dating is literally related to you, but that's like classic, that's like zibling or relationship.
Also, we never talked about Frankie Grande's I'm a rock and Roll.
That's Queen of the Evolution, Baby I'm killing baby institution. But yeah, we got to d D Mega Doodoo because I was watching it and I kept saying.
Like, dd Mega Doodoo. God, dude, that's one of the best videos ever. I'm sorry, mang do oh well, I forget. I forgot to say, like my thing this year is gonna be poop. Like I love like the word poop.
Again, Like I hate that so much because he said it in the car, dead serious, Like we were shopping for a candle for the house and he was like, he was like, should I ask if they have poop? Said like, and he said it, you said it loud enough for the guy here, and he kind of chuckled, and I.
Was like, oh my God, you were literally child.
They make poop flavored perfumes, because I really want to flavored perfume. I really want to smell like feces, and like when you're in like a nice establishment, like a le labo or a dip dip cheek, you can be like, do you have like fikal scented perfume? Because it's like more elegant to say fecal matter rather than poo. Yeah, but I also wanted to bring up the fucking video I sent in the group chat today of Ricky Dllon.
You know what's crazy, Drew? Look at this? Wait, please look at this.
I say this at eleven nineteen pm last night and I saw you in the group chat, and you know what I wrote, I said, it's fucked up.
Even in a lipsing video.
I can tell you have a list, like you cannot escape the lisp allegations, even when you were not saying a goddamn I.
Think lisps are cute, like I'm not. I'm not even and.
It's like, I mean, look at this video, like this video is actually.
It is the funniest thing I've ever seen.
And this is something Josiah would do.
I know, we need that's literally we need to give Josiah money to do this, Like, I will funder, please don't. Also, the fact that Ricky Dylon has a song with Snoop Dogg will never not be the funniest thing ever. Also, no one's talking about this, but Snoop Dogg is actually two inches tall and living inside of Ricky Dillon's.
In when it flashes that quickly?
Did you see this orange?
Did you see they stole Quinn's face and made a mannequin out of her?
Are you kidding?
Look, somebody like made a mannequin head and it's literally Quinn's face, like, and then somebody liked it and it's literally her and she's like, wait, should I fucking sue because they're literally stealing my face?
Dude? That's crazy.
Also, but like you have to be a different level of sexy, hot, beautiful for people to be like I need that house.
The people that like recognize that. You have to be like so hot that like people like, yeah, that's so fine, but yeah.
It's crazy that you sent that this morning, because I was like, oh my god. But my last tidbit is I've decided that free black coffee as an amenity is the biggest slap in the face we have let go under the rug, like explain, because like I feel like, for example, like in lounges and airports, it's supposed to be like ooh, like I'm so much better than now, Like you're gonna go down there with all the stores and like no seats, and I'm gonna come up here and.
Get free food.
And like the free food in question is like some of the scariest food you've ever seen in your life. Like I don't know why, like buffet style shit just scares me in general, because I'm like, not only is this just sitting here, but people are like all touching and interacting with it, and that.
Grosses me out.
But then it's like okay, you get free that and then free black coffee, Like that is literally the cheapest drink you can give to people for free, Like it is such a like low blow, like.
You might as well give me nothing. Water yeh.
And fruit water is also the craziest, Like.
It's like banana water.
Cut up a single cucumber and put in a big jug banana water.
People cut up bananas.
And people not put bananas in the water.
Literally, people put bananas in the water. Girl, there's fluorite in the water, and there's bananas in some water. Like, let's talk about it, all right, banana water. Hold on, I gotta find the picture.
Like also the sign banana water, Like, who is so not like within their cognitive mind able to go up and see that.
That's literally a cut up.
Banana in the water, like putting a label and guy, it's also like a dig at the intelligence to the people interacting with it.
Fruit water. Hey, that's what they call me, all right, I mean when I'm when I'm douche.
Do you have sy op corner or no?
Yeah corner? Yeah, I forgot to do it. We've been forgetting the end of the episode the last couple of episodes. Okay, Drew sye Op corner. Better eat your girl pussy before her homegirls do it. Bitch as gay as fuck these days.
Okay, Okay, that's good.
I forgot to do this one. How the fuck your breath stink around Christmas? It's free peppers everywhere.
That one's really good.
After I die, I'm gonna comeback as a pecan tree. Some motherfuckers can eat my nuts. This is like the certified classic bitches smoke their whole pregnancy and ask why the baby keeps crying, bitch, he needs an eighth I have like eight more, but I should just save them do one more. Being called a liar when I know I took time to make it sound true gets me so mad.
Oh god, that's good. Okay.
My media of the week is I only have one song and it's overkilled by men at work. I like, can't stop listening to that song. I listened to it a lot as a kid because of my parents, and like, that song makes me so happy. It was also in The Adults, which I don't think like people loved that movie, but I liked that movie, so suck my.
Ball, guys. I was so depressed on the airplane, and I like, I don't know why I was so sad, Like it was just such a weird vibe, and I was like, well, you know what would hit right now was kid A in Okay Computer. And I downloaded both of those albums and listened to it all four hours of the flight. Actually it was like five hours because I was on fucking tarmac for one hour each way. It was hell, but I listened to Okay Computer and kid A and then a little bit of in Rainbows
that I had downloaded. No one's talking about Radiohead, like literally, no one is having this conversation, like why did not call.
It radio Head because it's always on the radio and it's stuck in behead.
Oh my god, but how did this?
Just texted me because he we like for my one birthday excursion?
Is I think you know about this? Actually I don't know.
So mar I was like, oh my god, they're doing the Michael Jackson musical in LA and we should all go. And I was like, oh my god, that could be my birthday excursion.
It's gonna a few people and going. And then he just texted me.
Our only texts have been about that, by the way, and then he goes, bro, I had MJ the musical Nightmare. They were trying to kill me and eat my body.
It sounds about right. Let's check and see if Michael Jackson was on those flight logs.
Oh.
Actually, one thing I saw Trisha Hates did has one of the funniest things I've ever heard, and I never heard it until like last week. But she was like, I love the colors of the trans flag. It's almost like a gender reveal. And she's like oh, and I was like, oh, she's so smart, Like that's so funny. Literally me and you talking on the phone. But how to disappear completely by radiohead? Oh, don't even get me started, get me started. I have to see swim. Is that
Rick Owens? There's no seriously, who is that?
It's true?
Oh, the fact that he's three hundred and eighty six years old.
The fact that every now and then he comes out with a song that he said it sounds like a Brockhampton song, is like awesome, Yeah.
We need to have that conversation. Brockhampton stole their entire swag from Rue Paul. I don't think we're ready for that conversation.
All right, Well, thank you guys so much for listening. I hope you have an amazing.
Week and pucker those buttholes make Daddy proud, Catful