pri demon th

Hey, guys, what's up, dude? I needed to let that out so bad.

Shit.

You know, earlier this.

Morning drop off right for the updoirs.

Was like, and you know it's crazy, and yet thank you for that, because this morning I woke up and I said, I hope I laughed today because I haven't been laughing recently, and you made me laugh. Thank you.

You're literally you will spend like a single day alone all day and then be like, I just don't.

I don't have left in my life.

I don't laugh anymore. I don't think I've laughed in a year, truly, truly.

Okay, but seriously, for we started this episode, I want to say this to you guys, but especially to true give me your hand, Happy Pride.

I love you, so.

Don't fucking play with me. Don't fucking play with me.

Oh my god, I was. I didn't even say anything else. I just said, happy Pride.

All right, we're back, y'all.

Alright, guys, I have to go to the er. But crazy is last time I went to the e R is when.

Our apartment the incident happened at the apartment, which one you were in a neck brace. I was all touted up oh yeah, the last episode we did at the apartment. That was the last time I went to the r and they said the same thing this time. They were like, thank god you're straight, so you're fine and you're amazing.

That's all they said. It was weird.

Can you give me the gotten?

No? I think I think they're really good at what they do. So then why for being truthful?

For being hateful, for being a hateful.

Hospital she went to the Westboro Baptist.

Oh wait, I love that place. Oh wait wait, I love that church. I love that church.

Well, with that being the start of the episode, I love this back and forth that's unraveling between us and Tricia where it's like every other week we're just talking about each other.

Lightly.

I haven't even seen this clip yet.

Okay, I'm going to play for Drew. He hasn't seen it. I woke up and I had a text that said Tricia talked about us, So I immediately went and my nosey ass was checking, and this is what she had to say.

We were a part of her maternity obsession.

I don't know that'session. I was watching in order to intercome because I saw any Andrew they were talking.

I didn't know.

Did you check your DMS from Drew?

No?

Oh, he talked about he said, if Tricia ever looks at my DMS from h Yes, I thought.

That, but I don't think he did.

I think I checked.

I don't think he did.

I think it was making but I don't know because for Ted, maybe I feel like after a while they expired because I definitely have dms, had a few times and the only one that was in there was one.

Yeah, I literally saw one from him. Oh my god, that's so iconic. So I saw them talking about They were so nice because I truly didn't know when we talked about the shirt that I told your shirt from Challengers and how the ceiling fell on them and I don't know who they are, but they were like so nice because like so many people get offended if I say, like, look, there's five million podcasts out there. I'm sure most people don't know. A lot of people don't know who I am.

They're great.

That sounds iconic and they were really nice. They were like they're like, oh yeah, like it was cool she mentioned us or whatever. So then I was like, let me watch Intercome and then I started watching it and I actually really loved pull to them and I was like, shout.

Out to them.

And I love their podcast. I love that their podcast is like not boring like so manyodcast couples podcasts, I don't know whatever podcasts. I get bored of them after a while. I've been watching pretty basic, unfiltered whatever that one is watching that, but but I'm ready it comes funny, like they're funny. They have a good like they're not in a relationship, right, I don't believe so is he a I know?

We don't know.

Look, she has such a good responsive is he A don't I don't know? She said we alredy expect my life and it's pride.

Mon, No, that is so fucking sick.

I'm like realizing that I think I have like a weirdly like not parasocial because I'm not like she's not somebody who like feel like I'm friends with. But you know how there's certain celebrities who we always talk about, like it takes so much for me to be like, oh my god, I can't believe this person. But the smile on my face watching that this morning, I was like, this is a bit jarring.

How happy this is.

It literally felt like when I saw Beyonce in concert for the like I'm not kidding, like the way I was like welling up and I was just like, wait, I did not know I love this person. Yeah, that she's so like mother Goose, like she has like maternal vibes.

Also, congrats on the birth of Elvis, which is a really cute girl name.

Yeah. But yeah, I mean.

So I'm not the only buddy person who uh, I'm not the only buddy.

I'm not the only person the only buddy And what does that mean.

I'm not the only person who associates you with pride. And I don't think you're gonna smash a vase on Trisha's head.

So it's just like.

Coming to my studio that you say anything anything, You're getting a bottle next, Like, I don't play.

We need to give Balabu a breakaway bottle. And let her break it on her head.

Yeahn well that was fucking sick and a great way to start this episode because that's some other boost and other boots, right right, Well, spiders have been attacking me in my bed and you finally saw it. She thought I was like fucking tripping, But like, no, I swear to God, being one of.

Those annoying bitches is like their only crime is being small.

Well no, I was like that. I genuinely was like, damn, their only crime is being small. Like if a spider's in my room, I won't kill it because I'm like, you deserve to live and you're protecting me and your

Just in to do with spider.

I just get used and abused and thrown out to the curb. But that was a random tangent. But anyways, this fucking spider and it was in my room and we were just chilling and I pointed it out. And they're all the same fucking size, which is really creepy, Like they're all and I'm starting to think it might be the same spider over and over again and they just survive.

I don't fucking or you might find that those spiders grow to that size and that's their adults.

And then they start attacking me. They all did their job, That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. It's like you are always like, oh, protect bugs, but no, their whole goal is to bite you.

No.

Literally, it was like actually so scary and you saw it and you had to kill him for me because I felt really bad about killing him.

I didn't. I smushed the fuck out of that.

Mine into my bed sheets, left a blood stain on my bed, like it was nasty. And then you know what I did. Every spider that I kill now in my bed enter around my bed, I put them on the windows that they come from, and I just have them laying there one by.

To start eating them.

No, if they literally it's gonna be like air dried, like fucking Chris.

Yeah, it's like freeze dried spiders. Yeah no, but I put them there as a warning sign. I'm like, look, if you come near me, I will kill you. And like now they have it's like the standard ground law in Florida, Like don't enter my fucking space because I'll smush your ass like fucking immediately. But yeah, I've just been like attacked by spiders. And then I found out that like putting bugs outside like is actually deadly to them because they're.

Acclimated that you're like evicting.

Them from Yeah. Yeah, I'm like literally destroying their lives and killing them immediately. But so this is a message to all the spiders out there, don't fucking play with me, Like literally, don't fucking play.

Do you like think we have Like there's a few.

Spider listeners, like, for sure, can I get the Tom Hollenberger hold the spiders? Can I get the H two O Burger with the mermaid tail sauce?

Well, the other day in the car with Drew, he said something and I was like, I'm not kidding. If you did, meth, I genuinely think you would solve a lot of problems, like.

The way that it like a lot sometimes.

No, seriously, get me.

Meth Okay, I know, and now you're like too eager.

At first you were like ill, No, I would never, And now it seems like you've been thinking about it.

I just know.

Can we move on?

Well? Also, I have so many All of my notes are about Drew right now, because all we've been doing is laying in his bed and hanging out. And when we were sitting in his bed watching tiktoks the other night, he got one of those.

Jared had to let me go through his drafts because now I know it's full of shit like that.

First of all, you got one of a TikTok that I was like, your career is about to take off in a magnificent way.

And he used the sound and posted it on private.

And then there was another TikTok that it was like it was like a money spread TikTok, and he was I claim, I just I'm looking at my phone.

I hear claim claim claim.

I'm claiming this energy. I'm claiming this energy. Claim claim claim claiming, manifesting, manifesting, claiming, claiming this energy, manifesting.

This I claim, I claim, I clailaim.

I claim only the good parts, only the good part.

And he literally has been doing that. And he also, oh wait, you went to a psychic.

Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, I need we need to finish this. So if you go through my private because they always say, like, use this sound, it can be private. So I put it on private and I just use it like in the darkness with a like showing my face, and I have the sound and I upload it and it's a fucking vibe. But the ones that pissed me off the fucking most is when it's like your mother will die in six hours if you don't use this sound, so

I do.

I don't believe in it, but I do catch myself scrolling by really quick, like I like, if I don't finish it, it doesn't count on me.

Do you remember the chain mail like Carmen winn stadshit like that. That's like the modern day version of that, and they're all just like view and interaction farming, and it fucking works.

But it's so annoying that like that's the new era of it, because it felt so much more real when you were getting a text like that sent directly to your phone that was so jarring, Like getting a text up was like, if you don't send this to twenty people, your best friend is going to die in their sleep.

I would not be sending that to twenty people, like, not even close, not even one person would get that if if it meant my best friend is dying, like I'm letting that bitch die, I'm right.

Here, I think, are you talking about me?

Yes?

Oh well, if there was a text that was.

The sexy guy in your life, if you don't send the sexy guy will die. Of course it would be me.

No, I think there's other people who could take that category.

Okai, No, what actually now that I said that, I can't think of a single man in my life who I would ever describe as sex.

Is there?

Oh yeah, there's like plenty of sexy girls.

Maybe this month is for you too, Bed No, that's.

Just that doesn't even see how that does even sound right when I say it to you, something about that like rings true When.

You say it about me, it's like that doesn't even don't.

It's like the manifesting.

So it's like, Okay, you think you think you're gonna trick me. I need to know about the psychicic and you need to do it now because also now I'm thinking about the audio message you sent me last night. This is just the Drew episode because you've just been such a funny person this week, and usually you're really like sad and boring and awful to be around, and like I have to like make sure I separate from him, but this week you were on like an.

Okay one Okay, damn. Drew Phillips Catching Catching Stray's episode, Drew Phillips Being Skinny episode wait, when's that right fucking now, babe, Wait do.

We have that kind of technology?

No? No, no, no, wait, I just laughed. I literally just laughed, y'all. Holy fuck, holy shit, we broke the curse. Okay. So I've been getting callings recently from like the beyond, and it started with in the front end. It started with hallucinogens. And I said this last time, like every like five years, like I get a calling to like try one. Probably not in the headspace to do that right now, of course not. But when I was sixteen it felt very real. Forum but ye know the calling

Right up the shad even had your like tarot cards, right, No, no.

Or maybe maybe yet. Yeah. At the when I was at my best friend Bella's event, she had like a tarot card reader. Yeah, like me and Bella had like we're really close, and she like had tarot card reading, like she's like basically my best friend, and.

Like, oh, you mean the event I was invited to and I put.

You down on the list and then you didn't go, and then we just had like the night out on the town. That's my girl, y'all.

I actually that was like one of those moments I had fomo because it sounded like all of our friends were together.

Yeah, it was really fun.

I oh, now that I remember, I had a way better night because my friends are evil and they make me feel awful.

I was going to say. I was going to say, it really was potentially the greatest night of my life. And I feel like it would have been the greatest night of your life if you were there, just like the vibes were there, the drinks were flowing.

Just like not believing it because you're like not happy.

Like the party bus location, location, next club, next club, Like it was a movie. It was a fucking movie. But what oh oh oh I I decided. I was like, oh, I want to go to a psychic really really fucking badly. I've never been.

Also, he was trying to convince me to go with him for like two hours straight.

He was like what are you doing?

And I was like I need to go eat and he was like, way, but we should go to a sidekick that sounds fun. And I was like I don't want to go, and then he's like no, but what if you like, oh, they're gonna say something so good?

And I was like no, yeah.

I was like let's fucking go, like come on, like, let's turn up. And I was like, there was one right up the shoot from my house that I've seen for the last five years. And then I finally called them. They didn't answer my call the first time I called, and that this was like after I was begging you out to go. And then I called them back and then they were like oh no, no, no, this was before because I already had my time slot. But then I called him back and they answered and it was so spooky,

Oh crazy bars, you didn't go to one that's like in an office space or like a storefront space. This is one that we've passed forever, and it's a house. It's like a house on the side of the road with a big sign.

Yeah, And I like pull up, and immediately I have like a gnarly gut feeling. I'm like, Oh, something bad is like genuinely about to happen. Like I was literally like, oh, I'm gonna be kidnapped. But then I remember it. I'm a sixteen year old boy that looks like a twenty six year old man, So I was like, they're not gonna fucking kidnap me, Like what the fuck? Like I look older than I actually am. Y'all, I don't get carted for alcohol anymore. But I'm only sixteen, so.

Okay.

But anyways, I pull up, I go through the front door. It's really fucking creepy vibes, and I walk into literally.

Anybody who comes into our apartment. I go up the front door.

It's really creepy, like bad functuay, bad punk shuay. I open the front door and I am greeted with just a family home with like a child and a man running around like chasing after their daughter. Like wrangling her to get her out of like the living room, and then there was like the shitty little desk in the corner. We sit at the desk and she's like, how do

Okay, first of all, you should have just gone to fucking therapy.

I know, literally read me, read me to fucking filth in the comments because I know that is fucking ridiculous. But I was just like I'm already there, like I'm going to talk about it on the podcast. It's gonna be funny.

Yeah.

I guess how do you get there and be like oh wow? And then leave her house?

Literally? Literally?

I guess any real adult who has no movie prine capacity probably would have any dignity.

But anyway, she starts didndity. She starts the reading and I could immediately tell this is like so phony and she's not like a real sidekick, like I do believe that, like there are people that are mediums, but like it is funny that every single famous medium is a white woman in her late forties, bored his fuck housewife, like I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Like look at all every single one of them on Yelp was a white woman. And I was like, okay, like this cannot be this, this

Trying to extend past thirty minutes. So she'd be like, Okay, the time is well.

No, I was supposed to have an hour, but she ended it at thirty minutes because she got mad at me. But anyways, because I was I mean, I was literally crying laughing dude, like I could not and like I was like acting like I was crying. I just like just all over the mic, I just everywhere. But I was like crying laughing because I was like, holy shit, this is so funny. But I was like trying to act like I was crying. But then she started saying that I was surrounded by evil and like I'm going

You need someone to be able to tell you exactly what are these types of things that I need to be able to do in my life? What are these things that to be able to achieve in Because there is no protection around you. Surprisingly there is not, because it's where are you currently working? The reason why that I say that, it's because I truly feel there's a lot of jealous people around you. So many people are jealous of you. So many people are jealous of your success.

I don't fuck with you around whoever it is.

You understand me, because there is someone with instead of your life of trying to honestly take you down and negative energy, negative energy just trying to attack you.

Spirits that are trying to attack me.

Because of the jealousy, the jealousy.

Because of the jealousy, the jealousy.

And for that reason, you need to have a lot of protection around you so that there's no jealous or interference with inside of your life but inside of your business because.

I don't see did you give you any advice on the advice.

Yes, but that leads me to the next part. Basically, she started saying that, like since birth, my mother like passed on evil energy to me. And she was like, how's your relationship with your mom? And I was like, oh, it's like fantastic and she was like, oh, well, like she held on to like a lot of evil, sinister energy and she passed that on to you, basically saying that this is all my mom's fault, that like I have evil spirits attached to me and you better count

But wait, should I go as undercover?

And she does the same thing, Yes, and yeah, I go in and she's like, you're amazing. You're surrounded by love, except one evil entity that's living in your home with you. And then she's like, oh my god, and you're no. She's like, your cat loves you.

There's something. Oh it's you, and she's like, and that person's very weak.

Well, this evil entity will burn down your fucking house with a zoo inside and I won't be there and blow up your fucking car, so you can't.

Now I need to go back this week and we need to start an investigation. And sorry.

Well that was the thing at the end of it when I said no to all her add ons. But I was like, I want to bring my friends, like I want them to come, And then she lit up again and she was like, yeah, bring all your friends, bring everybody, bring all the good vibes, bring all your friends, Like please please please bring that.

Okay, her saying bring all the good vibes. Girl, you just told me all my friends were evil.

Literally thoughts because the evil is trying to attack you mentally.

Yeah, sorry, I'm this is crazy.

You've been going to sleep by night with chanting your eyes.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not like laughing, it's just crazy.

No, No, it's okay.

You're like reading me to filth right now? Too much?

Yeah, you have been having nightmares of people that you have not even seen before, or maybe even creatures of some sort. Yeah, maybe even you in a very dark, deep pull and you don't know how to get yourself out of. Yeah, or maybe even someone trying to murder you or something like really drastic and weird.

Yeah, I'm I also am seeing like my loved ones around me, like literally burning alive constantly, or like getting executed.

Are these are these loved ones passed on? Or do they pass Are they here?

They're here with this? Okay, okay, I've had a dream about a loved one that passed on.

Oh my gosh, my dude, you know what that means. That means that there is something that's really trying to attack you. There isn't There is an evil spirit that is connected to you that is trying to be able to get into your mind and control you and manipulate you. You are very easy to move.

I know that.

It's trying to control you and you, but yeah, that ship was killing. And then.

Sorry, I'm not loud me at you.

It's just this is a lot although you say to this random woman and the most serious sound like, yeah, I'm so sorry, you're just like reading me to filters right now.

And then she went on this long tangent because I forgot like how we got there, but she was talking about like how like someone came into her house and put her fish in the garbage disposal and turned it on. And I was like, girl, oh, I brought up how you killed my bug? Let me find it? Let me find it?

Wait, how did you pay her vino? Okay, so she saw your real name.

But I paid her after the reading, and it was it was crazy. She like, literally I could have walked out of there without paying her, like she she wanted me out, like her tone shifted in the craziest way.

Any animals they got, they put the fish down.

I love it.

I will, but they don't know.

I don't worry about you, know what I mean? Sorry, enjoying times in our good times. Now there's something that's reading. We opened a new chapter. We opened a new.

Book, but I don't think Okay, it starts at ten forty.

You know what I mean? Yeah, within your future, my dear, I'm gonna be honest with you.

I don't see children in your future.

Yeah the fuck does she mean by that? I fucking I know literally, like that was evil.

I don't see children maybe like for babies, you know what I mean?

Like animals?

Yeah?

Do you have any animals?

Not currently? No?

Okay? Yeah.

Fuck. I wish you went.

I wish you like when she said that, you were like, I'm actually engaged to the love of my life right now and she's expecting.

Yeah.

Literally, she probably would have.

Went further and been like, I'm sorry to tell you this, but there's a miscarage coming.

Yeah.

Literally, she would have like said, she would have definitely doubled down.

Babies, you know what I mean? Like animals? Yeah, do you have any animals?

Eleven? Not currently?

No?

Okay, Yeah, I had a praying man to someone point.

Oh my god, I love it.

That's probably so scary though.

Yeah, it was. It was scary. My roommate killed her on accident. On accident. I think she sprayed vinegar inside of her container because she needs moisture. Oh, she was taking care and I.

Think she accidentally like, uh, oh my god, you want to hear something terrible.

So I have someone come over to my house and clean the fish. Think they got the fish down the garbage puzzle.

I turned it on.

Why, I don't know.

I still don't know what to the state.

That is horrifying. Yeah, what fish did you have?

Especially she's gonna say like a reef.

Thought I was going to say a rethink and she was like it was a fucking beta fish. And I was like, girl, like you were probably abusing that fucking fish anyways, like they need tanks. But yeah, So I went to a psychiatrist and she told me, oh, yeah, you need to go to a psychi do I do know? I went to a psychiatrist. She told me that I'm I said it again, but you all just heard the fuck story. I'm not like wrapping it up.

That's so awesome. I need to go now, I really need to go, but I should.

I'm glad we didn't go together because I if I saw you cracking up, I think I would have started laughing and she literally would have kicked this at her.

I know it was crazy and like seeing like her. It was funny because you.

Think it'll be too supicious if I go like today or tomorrow.

No, you should go, you should definitely, it would not be supicious at all.

Did you like look at her yelp? Did she have no?

No?

I just called the sign because I felt like a calling from like beyond.

Okay me when I see an ad and I feel a calling like no.

I said that to her and she was like, how did you find out about us? And I was like, the big sign.

The biggest sign on the front yard on a really busy mange.

I want to see if you can hear her tone change.

Yeah, he was a good person the process.

I don't want to talk. I do want to thank you.

If you have any the questions, please let me know.

Okay, yeah, I don't have any other question about.

Okay, sounds good. So bring back your friends, bring whoever you can you know what I mean, whoever wants to move to get a reading done.

Yeah, you can't really tell. But she got fucking pissed and she like stopped talking, and so it was like me trying to fill the void, like the awkwardness, and like I was like, damn, she's good at like, because I was almost like, sure, I'll just fucking do it just to like make her like me, but like no, I was like, I'm not not doing all that, but.

Well, I'm god, I need to go see Like you think you have good intuition, but I have good intuition.

But I was like, I just don't think that's.

For me that you should go.

Yeah, I mean, the one time I got it was going it like she did.

Like the one time I got one was that a random ass like milk makeup of it in twenty nineteen, and she read my cards and I'm not kidding. Everything she said that was going to happen fully happened.

Damn like.

And then the other time that happened was when we were all obsessed with the pattern app in like early twenty nineteen and everything that it was late twenty eighteen or something, and everything that I was saying was happening was fully happening.

But also, I'm a crazy person. You can't tell me things because then I just.

Make them happy.

Though it's gonna happen anyway, I might as well make it happen.

Well. After Drew had that, he had a really scary.

Experience again I don't even know your This is literally just the Drew episode.

And yeah, I.

Just want to let you know I made it to my destination of Hell. As you can hear in the background that the eternal screens of the Damned. I'm actually going back to Heaven now. Well, God, God, I guess this is Lynn all right.

Well from Heaven, I guess I already am.

But you know what I mean. Afterwards, settled, meet everybody, Jesus.

I made my destination hell as you can hear the eternal screams.

Of the damn.

What's crazy is the reason I sent that audio message was because I sent an audio message from bed to Enya like right before that, and I had a bat I sent it from my laptop, and I had a basketball video playing in the background, and it literally sounded like I was.

At a basketball Like the fuck did you go to a game?

So I unlocked a new I unlocked a new bit basically, and it's to play a YouTube video in the background with some sound effects and then screen or voice mement record off your laptop and it plays through the audio.

Message like it keeps it perfectly.

Yeah, exactly, the Valium, the Valuum. I need a valium. You don't. Yeah, no, they are.

Evil around you as all the people trying to help you like this. That's how she's like evil.

Don't listen to I forgot about this. She was like, are you taking any medication right now? And I was like no, and she was like good, Like you will become a pill popper if you take antidepressant medication. That's something I didn't record. And she went on this long tangent about how people that take like depression medication are pill poppers and it's evil and sinister, and I was like,

And decided, you said, if you were somebody who was mentally unwell, now you have put your foot on the.

Walk to me. Oh the pictures of my jeans that we're.

Serving a gender reveal right now? Oh yeah, Drew in his sticky jeans.

Bro, something is wrong with Drew's legs because any I used to think it was just as other pants, but these pants make his legs look funky too.

I'll insert it. Oh my god.

But yeah, we went to Texas for drew sister's wedding. I was a fucking hit. Everybody was obsessed with me. Everybody was so sad.

When he They literally were. They were like, why does she stay another day? Like, she can just stay another day. You're lucky that you're loved and wanted, because it doesn't feel like I am by my own family. I am like the black Sheep. I like go in and everybody's like, who is he? He changed? And then they make me sleep outside also, no, literally they made me sleep outside in the rain. But it was like funny that stuff. I like rain that I don't like sleeping in it.

But they kept you out there all night.

With the dogs. Yeah, put me in a cage.

I don't think that's like a bit. They might actually really not like you. You're only sixteen. You could call CPS. Still, there's still time, Brue.

I didn't even fucking think.

It's a bit. It's like the bit that we do wear spank you.

Yeah.

Yeah, you've been silent the whole episode, and those are the first words you've said.

I hope you said, like, yeah, rest of not yea rest?

Wait?

What is it? Rest?

No?

Wait?

What were you fucking saying, oh.

We killed a million frogs by accident sister's wedding Tucker Storm, And we were all walking around in the grass and then all of us started to look down and there was a million, tiny, tiny frogs jumping around.

It was like a frog, like a super bloom. Like I mean, we're not exaggerating. There was thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of little baby frogs this big, and like it was actually so fucking cute for a wedding to have those little toads like hopping around and like, didn't like the princess kissed the frog or something and it became a toad or something like that.

Like, didn't the princess kiss the frog?

Like you know what I'm talking about. Like it was like a cute fucking vibe frog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was like a cute fucking vibe. And like until we realized that we were mashing.

The kids were running around and we were like, oh, look at them, and then we were looking at the grass and they were picking up frogs at one point, and then they started running around and we were like, oh, that's so cute. And then we started looking down at the floor and you could see a million of frogs like jumping around, but they were jumping around trying to get running away while kids were running through it, just.

Like killing their loved ones, their brothers and sisters.

I don't think frogs have the capacity to know like relation, No.

They don't.

But the wedding was super fucking cute. Congratulations to my sister and her now husband. I'm glad everybody was able to make it, and I'm so fucking proud of you.

Also, two things that I made fun of on the podcast, and like the same episode.

Did you and the ass?

I made fun of paragliding? Is that what it's called?

Whatever?

That fucking big fan.

I made fun of that one of Drew's family members fully does that. And then I made fun of men. There was there was like, yeah, there was tension, and then there was obviously at the wedding, his sister's husband was like sobbing, he was like so happy, but it felt sweeter in person. But I felt so uncomfortable because I was like, I made fun of these things back to back on an episode literally last week, and I'm sitting here in a room of two men committing the sins that.

I damned.

Committing the sins that I damned because you're like Satan, because you're evil, you're a witch. My is.

But yeah, it was a vibe. We made slime and it was so fucking awesome.

We did Flora slime. It was fucking cute. What else happened? And at the our trip because Theenya came to me, came with me to Texas, My fucking family loves you, bro, Like they literally like, dude, it's so funny, like they all genuinely think like my extended family that like I don't, like I have a relationship, but it's not as close as like my close family, but all of them genuinely believe that me and you are gonna end up together.

And I'm like, babe, the because Grandma like was like say also his grandma was touching up on me, talk about that she's just doing like the older woman thing where she's like being like kind and like like her love language was touched. But I was wearing this dress that had a big slit in it, and she kept touching my thigh period, and I was just cracking up in my head because I'm just like sitting there and she kept calling everybody to introduce me to everybody, but.

I've met your whole extended family already. So she would be like, come here, like you need meet andya, she's the best.

And then they'd be like I know Anya, and then I'd be like, yeah, I know them, and then they she'd be like oh okay, and then kind of like bath them away and.

Then see who else she can like call over to talk about me.

And then she introduced me to somebody I didn't know, and then she was like, oh, like, how do you know the family?

And then she cut in and she was like this is Drew's better half. Yeah, and then me and Drew later on we were.

Like, you're sorry, sorry grandma, sorry grandma.

Sorry.

Game games, damn gam But it's not too far for them to think we'd get married, because we've talked about that before, so it's not that crazy. But it is so interesting to think of like older generations. I guess even some people our age, like we just live in a bubble where we don't find marriage and romantic relationships

I was gonna say, also, like that's just a facade we keep up to the public that we don't do that, but like we keep our sex lives private.

Yeah, and we don't do that anymore.

We keep our sex life private and our private parts to each other. That fucking suck brouh.

I was actually thinking other day, I was like, Damn, our podcast would be ten times more interesting if we were people who were like dating around and being foolish and like also spoke about those things publicly because there was like no personal life aspect of this podcast, which I enjoy and I think for the most part people like.

I actually think I would explode. I'd much rather talk about shit and poop.

Yeah. No, literally, sorry, I was like lost in thought, like thinking about like Tricia Payne, I'm not kidding, like literally, I was like, damn, Like.

She loves us, We're her favorite podcasts.

Yeah, but okay. So Also, another thing that happened in the last episode is I started talking about basketball, and people were genuinely shocked that I had ball knowledge.

That I'm not talking at things about balls. That's like, to me, that's the first thing I would think. I'm like Drew balls.

Yeah, okay, anyways, So anyways, uh no, but I know a lot about basketball. It's something I keep to myself because no one wants to hear me fucking talk about basketball.

About basketball?

Okay, good. I was waiting for that. Should I keep? Should I talk about it?

That's my answer?

So no, No, So Caitlin Clark, Yes, she's the girl, and I hate to see all the other w I don't.

Find you talking about women's basketball. Not to me, for some reason, is less annoying.

And I love Angel Reese and I love that she's taking on the villain role and publicly saying which she's fine with it.

It is only basketball related. This is insane.

So this is Jalen bruns and Brunson and Josh Hart's podcast.

And this feels like when I would ever sit in like a French class and my teacher really wanted me to learn something, and for some reason, it just would like bounce off of the like membranes surrounding my brain like it just doesn't, like it won't, it can't, it will never.

And you know what's crazy is I would go.

To a game.

I would get a beer and stuff, let's go. That sounds fun, like getting all cute and like going to.

A game such a pretty note but thank you. I literally like just saw it for the first time.

But yeah, that sounds fun. But then that sounds fun in theory. And then actually having to sit through a game because aren't they like three hours long?

That's like baseball. They're not too long, like because isn't.

There like intermissions and stuff, Like we'd be in the stadium for three hours.

There's like halftime. No, but you go to the bathroom at halftime, you get like your beer at halftime, your second beer, and you like just vibe out in chats you're.

Talking about basketball. Yeah, dude, when we went, I don't even fuck with sports, but when we went, I was like, this is kind of sick, Like.

You get it, like once you go basketball is.

Like every twenty seconds they're playing like eedm, like whenever something's not happening, like people come out and dance for you and shit, it's like it's it's like the TikTok.

Subway surfers, Like they're playing subway surfers for you to keep you like tuned in.

You know, it's really fucking sad. Is We had Luca Chick and Jalen.

Brunson, but we did not utilize Jalen Brunson. Right, we traded it into the fucking mix and we did. It became a fucking super star. And now he's like gonna be an All Star, like he's.

Gonna he's wait, don't fall because you're gonna cut your hand. All right, I'm done. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

That was crazy.

Wait should I go into stand up?

Do you have more stand up? How the fuck do you have more things to say?

Yeah? I got a lot of stand up.

My notes suck.

People keep tagging me and people who get beat up by horses now since I mentioned it, So all of my like tags on TikTok are literally like people getting beat up by those royal horses. And I actually don't understand the obsession with the royal guards and the horses. Like someone explain it, yeah, someone like in the comments, like just let me know what the fuck is up?

Like what is it? Is it?

Like the outfits, it's the horse girl couture. It's coming back, I swear no.

But it's like they got those big funky March Simpson hats. Like I don't understand why that's the vibe. Like we need like a like a Renaissance era of those fits, Like.

We are like a coquette, Like imagine a coquette.

A coquette royal guard. But those horses.

First of all, those horses are being abused because they have to just stand in a fucking dingy cave all day and like let humans come up to it.

But like you saw the one that escaped and like cut its yes, like.

They literally get attacked. But like I need to find some of the ones that I've been tagged in. Oh I think I've been saving them because I get tagged in them so.

Much now you don't want to be saved. Don't save ah? Also, why do you so humiliating?

So humiliating, bitch?

If I got hit in the head by a horse, I would actually end my life.

Like why go Like that's me and this lady's really cute they did not design. But also the horses like must be able to sense energy and vibes because it doesn't buy everybody.

Like it is sad, like I am sorry, Like it's really crazy.

Every single person trips.

Yeah, everybody gets knocked over because like a horse is so goddamn strong, but people keep going to take the pictures like I just want to understand the value of the picture because it's not.

Like I don't know.

Also, the other thing I wrote down is it's crazy how much like homophobia in the world is as it like.

Oh, you are the main perpetuator.

But it's crazy how much like homophobia there is in the world where they are like when they are the most accepting people. Ever, no straight crowd would ever sing and cheer like that for Jojo seewaw like the love given to Jojo Seewah like is so sweet and it's so awesome and like at the shows and whatever, even if it's for like a goof and a gag and it's like funny, but like genuinely I want to know exactly the way I wrote it down. I was really high when I was having this thought, too. I thought

I don't know why you could even hate their kind like those people even for a second.

I mean, I know I couldn't either, but I'm like.

Yeah, I just think it's interesting how Enya is critiquing homophobia when she just broke a bottle over a gay passing man's head.

Exact way A culturally gay man a.

Culturally gay, he's culturally I mean, oh.

Wait, I was, I was unlocking the keys to the fucking universe yesterday. L A is full of straight gay men. No, no, no, gay straight men. Yeah yeah, l A is full of gay straight men. And I am just right.

That's not what you said in the car that we literally have the funniest conversation. Because I was saying, how like what oh I was saying.

It's so interesting the way like mega straight girls talk about like like COUCHI like, it really is so dark to me, like this whole like narrative that is based in massandry or not massandy, that's based in misogyny and like just like this weird patriarchal ideology around like women's private parts and just like oh, it's so stinky, eh fucking fishy, nasty like whatever, which is like funny to like just like troll about and like know that it's not serious, but there are girls out there who are

You neither could.

I wait, okay, that's not.

That's not I got the whole squad laughing with that one.

But like the the like the action will like the way people talk about it actually freaks me out because I'm like, first of all, we gotta get down to what's up with your Cooter Bronson because that ship must be reak nation the way you think everyone else is.

Like, I actually don't understand it.

And then we were having that conversation where were laughing about it, and then I was like, I act like I don't talk about men like that, So I.

Yeah, I was like, girl, you talk about penis is the exact same way.

They're barbarians.

She's just never seen mine. Oh that's literally not true. That is literally not true.

No.

I was thinking about that too, and I was like, it is interesting though, like guys can like look at a penis and respect it like straight guys.

Yeah. No, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, some wiiners go crazy. Okay, did you guys see the video of.

The of your mama getting banged by Drew Phillips. Did it was number one?

No? The video of the girl?

Oh my god, it was number one trending.

No. She it was a girl who showed her class the podcast. No, I'll send it to you.

Oh that's so scary, and I know everybody.

Is like people in the comments were like, I'm embarrassed for you, Like I'm freaking out watching this video.

No, oh, oh god, I.

Did see this. I did see this. And then she did a follow up where she asked everybody.

And everybody was like, I don't fucking know that shit was weird, Like I really didn't like that, which freaks me out because I don't feel like we're that crazy.

No, we're horrible, Like I.

Don't think we're that Like.

Great, I went crazy, like what like, I'm not that crazy?

No.

There was a girl at the end that was like a fan. I think she had merch or something.

The girl who showed the video, it was like, I don't care what they say, like I still like like it literally felt like a piece to cam.

But like everybody being like I didn't like that. I didn't like that.

And then she was like everyone here is crazy. That shit as good as fuck. It's funny as fuck.

Really, and listen, listen, listen, listen if you have one What did lady gotta say? If there's one person in the room that believes in you.

There could be ninety nine people who don't believe in you, But if the one person believes in you, you.

Will go fuck exactly exactly. So that's that's the mentality I have from that. All Right, going into stand up? Are you all ready? I open with a banger homophobic vinyls, be like, let me set the record straight.

Wait what because the record like.

A vinyl record player? They say curiosity killed the cat? Well, who the fuck is curiosity? And why don't they like cats.

I don't like that one.

Where do you go to get an almost twenty year old illiterate wedding ring? Then that, Oh but my name's Jared. I'm nineteen and I never learned how to read diamond store.

That's the closest we're gonna get t having Josh on the podcast.

You know, Jared like the diamond store, Jared? Okay, Chipotle more like ship Poultle. They have been skimping on the topics lately or toppings lately. Home, I'd be like, don't be shy, put some more, and then I go into yo. Mama jokes Texas is the biggest state. But Kai's mama couldn't fit inside. I was gonna make slime, but I grabbed your mama's underwear instead. Oh this one, this one's super heavy. This one's like you gotta think about this

Wait, wait, wait, wait, I like repeat that. I don't understand.

I'm so bad with directions and I hate when I'm right alone. I get so lost in my.

Thoughts, dude, that one's barely a joke.

No, left and right, like when I'm left alone, when I'm.

Right wha What time of day did you write that?

Like on the way to the airport.

So it was like one that doesn't seem like something that should have came out of your head like.

That I was cooking in the backseat of my dad's truck. Crocs are so funny because they are shoes, but they sound like crocodiles. Plus they bite your feet blisters.

Okay, No, you're I don't know if you're gonna be allowed to do this next week. You're like really going down a scary path.

Ya, More like get in my belly. I'm so hungry I could eat you up. God, more like ky jelly, I want to butt fuck you.

Okay, I don't think I've heard the term, but fucking so long.

You know.

When I was writing it down, I was like, this is a banger, like one hundred percent happy bride, y'all, and that's the end. Actually I have three more, but I was like, wait, I'm gonna read the audience and that's a good banger to end on. Yeah, so I'm copying. I'm copying the ones that I have written down that I didn't read.

That was good.

In you you should try.

To embarrass myself. That's a lot harder for me to do this.

It's like for rejection therapy.

I get rejection therapy all the time because nobody gives me enough a dungeon.

True true, Oh this sucks. The syop jarin I'm sorry, evil doctor seusspie like one fish, two fish, deadfish, bloodfish. Okay, you sold you sold.

You s bro.

Okay, I'm not. That's the one syop I'll get because I killed.

My favorite meme right now is how the fuck you hate subway?

Bitch you made the sandwich? I love that meme so fucking much.

Should we do media? Yeah, you're gonna start.

Well. I've been really scared recently because I've realized my family has no video or photo documentation of us before the age of like fourteen fifteen, So I actually think I might have been kidnapped and put into this family because every time I'm like, hey, do you have photos of you when you were younger, me when I was younger, like our grandma when they were younger, like whatever, whatever, everybody says no, and I'm like Okay, I know y'all

There's no fucking pictures to look at my.

My dad literally threw away all of the documentation of us when we were younger and all my Pokemon cards him.

Oh exactly.

He has a sleep apnea machine. And I farted into the air intake every night for like five years.

Remember how much I used to hate farts. They used to make drew so fucking it was fucked up, Like it was so annoying, Like you didn't go to me seriously, like did you actually just do that?

I didn't come from like a farting family, so like they were gross to me. But then I farted once in front of everybody, and I got over it.

You're I feel comfortable enough to.

Far I'm a soldier. No, thank you guys for that. Now it's like my go to. But I'll be like, wait, it's so quiet, or wait, what does that sound.

Is?

It's like such a dad joke to be committing to.

But like Drew will just be in his room for like five hours straight, ignoring me and Josie and then coming to the room like wait, fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say.

Why did I come in here? And then just fart and turn around and run away.

Go back and run in my cellar under under the crib.

All right, well, shiit media media.

Media media media, media.

Media, Sorry if I was quiet this episode, guys, Drew started out by concussing.

Me, so yeah, and then I got concussed.

I mean dramatic. It's a little bit dramatic, all right.

My media of the week is fuck, dude, I really have been listening to the same songs like, uh, why should I love you? By Kate Bush, Why should I be sad? But you wouldn't know anything.

About that, sis, I know a lot about.

Oh.

Something that's been cracking me up recently is the dramatics of when a white person can dance and the reaction it gets. Literally has always cracked me up, but recently it's been making me laugh so fucking hard because something about a white person like dancing with.

All their might is really fucking funny.

Like and I like, I understand historically why white people are so bad at dancing, but like it is crazy, the like.

I'm not bad at dancing.

Dance, Okay, I'm not doing this.

I'm not fucking doing this. I don't have to prove myself to anybody, but.

I don't know.

The reactions to it are so amazing. It's like the equivalent when a baby speaks its first word. When a white person just suddenly shows the world that they can dance, everybody's mind as.

Well as like, oh my god, good job, and I'm so proud of you. That's amazing. I look, you want to try lithium.

I feel like you do good on it. Yeah lithium, Yeah, I think you would do y'all are.

Saying that to offend me, but I actually genuinely think it would be really good.

No, I'm yet, I'm being dad serious.

So you think I'm fucking crazy?

Yes, Also really quick, guys, we've seen the comments. We've seen people begging for a Kai cam, and uh, everyone at the studio respects me. So they're gonna set me up with a really nice camera.

Yeah, so the excited y'all.

So yeah, it's been a long time coming.

So who said they respect you?

Just like the whole team. They all were like, oh, hey hear that one?

Did they?

Your body's great? We respect you.

Oh no, they wait.

Kai's body is tea right now, y'all. He has like as.

When I got here, they were like, oh, we want to show you a picture, and then they're like, wait, we can't, we can't. When I walked away, they were like, wow, you look so good, and they were standing over Kai's phone and I was like, y'all are literally gay, Like y'all are literally all in a like showing off your watching said there's anything bad with it? Like, it's not wrong. I want to clarify I'm not homophobic.

I just don't like Drew me and Drew.

There's a perier.

Boy.

There's a peer where me and Drew just sending each other progress pictures.

Yeah, back and forth, and I have them in my folder hidden my product. It was kays.

Yeah, well we have a shared album.

Yeah yeah, okay. My media is a Lady Gaga in my room, Langley Kids Choir, Snow Queen of Texas, the Mamas and the Papas. And then I finally saw Bottoms and it was worth the weight and worth the hype. But I watched it on my iPhone screen on the airplane, Like this, bitch, I didn't even fucking talk about the people next to me on the fucking plane.

Bro.

No, I'll talk about it next week, bro, like remind me.

But yeah, Drew was too busy fucking running is goddamn fucking mouth this whole episode. I didn't get a guy. You're mad, You're mad, You're mad. Oh.

I did watch Anatomy of a Fall, and I really liked it. And I watched Children of a Lesser God, which I liked the lead actress. Not only am I one in love with her too, she.

Did such a good job.

Three It is just like a classical movie where the guy is like kind of fucking annoying. Like, oh, any movie with like a male love interest before the year of like twenty seventeen is fucking like.

The Turing Test. Kai, what's the test? The Turing test, the test, the rectal.

Test, Like there are certain movies it's just very like Manic Pixie dream.

Girl, Like she's so like lost and I can fix her, but she ate down and she is like so pretty.

It's her Sigourney Weaver, Sigourney's Beaver. That's her name.

Oh my god, oh my god, my, I'm not gonna remember her name. She's from fucking what's it called, Boys Don't Cry?

Oh my god, Oh my god, oh my god. Get wait wait wait guys, wait, wait wait wait.

The Frank Ocean magazine.

Shut the fuck up. I look at Boyd's boyds Don't Cry. Fucking what's her name?

Hilary Swank more like Hilary Skank.

Okay, bye, guys.

Mm hm