Podcasters Are Essential Workers. Change Our Minds

Welcome to this episode of emergency in our calm.

We have a lot to.

Talk about that, like we just have to clear clear just like really get into it. I'm sure you've seen all the ship being spread. They're fucking rumors, the live real. Everything is not real. I don't even know why people would say I have a small penis, but it's I know.

And the thing is, I think a lot of people.

Like to like so like you can see you can see right now that I don't.

Because okay, like I would, I'll give credits or like not credit, but I'll give leeway because I think a lot of rumors start as a joke. So it's like someone says a joke and then somebody who is a fucking hating ass cunt, bitch, no life loser who has a premeditated negative bias towards my friend is like, oh, so he does have a small wiener.

You don't know me. That's the thing is, you don't know me, you never will know me, So why are you talking about me?

Exactly? Yeah, So we're just here to.

Clear that rumor, and that's the episode.

Thank you are so much.

That's honestly all we have the energy to talk about because it's just been like draining both of us.

Yeah, I'm sorry to you. He should be for being just an idiot.

Oh that's not what I was expecting, because I just put my fucking life on the line to fucking defend you. I just put my life on the line, put my well being, and I just put my livelihood on the line.

This hat makes my head look so fucking big.

I got bad news.

Don't even say the head. I don't.

I have a ginormous You do not have a ginormous head. Your head is proportionate to your body.

No, no, no, I have a smaller head.

People would make fun of you head beetle juice, like you know in beetlejuice, the small head.

That's what you would get called if you had a smaller head.

No. I wish my head was like a quarter of an inch, just smaller in circumference because I would be more comfortable.

That's what I literally how I feel like someone.

Needs to invent that.

Actually, it's like heads surgery.

Has said it before, like a brain shrinking surgery, head shrinking surgery. We need this, We need this for the big head.

That was real. That's something that I got shut.

It was not real? Was it real? For real?

It was real because I was too smart.

Well, you gotta go get another one. How much you're still able to.

I also want to address some rumors, oh my god, about me having a huge cock.

So yeah, Kai sac oh you were probably wondering, who's interrupting? It's yeah, yeah, he's suck. You were gone for like two episodes.

Uh no, we did a zoom and then oh no, I guess too.

Because in the forest his work.

You weren't in the forest, y'all. Yeah, keep that in mind.

He does not care.

Yeah I was. I was in Mexico partying with a looking very cool.

And normal dude. I'm sorry, Kai, but that video.

When that came up on the TikTok for you page, Kai, we watched it on the big TV.

I'm sure I know. I saw it and I was like, fuck, like I'm done, I'm.

Gonna get bodied.

I like this is strike one.

I got this. I you know it's crazy too. That was right before a huge disc of ball almost landed on Dua Lipa. Actually I'm not joking. There was an earthquake like maybe a minute.

I saw that on your story. It was like a nine point were there?

Yeah, I was like making her laugh and ship and then such.

A ship, such a ship a lot. The earthquake didn't even happen. That happened on the ninth an earthquake. I don't know.

That's an ass quake.

Okay.

I was making do Aleipa laugh so much that her asked me like clapping and shaking the earth, and then the disco ball almost fell.

Okay, yes, why why why does it have to go there?

Because I'm a straight man and I'm like boobs.

And also that is what happened.

I like ass and boobs.

As I'm just saying, why you moving your head? You're like, because I'm straight? Like, yeah, what? There was something we were going.

To talk about on the podcast, and I started talking about it and then I was like I should shut up, and I don't remember.

Well, I have everything written down.

Ever, Oh, the thing I was gonna say is because I talked about hydro flasks and like, how I don't watch mine? Last episode I talked about how sick and now I have bronchitis.

That's worse than not watching your bed sheets, not watching your hydro flasks.

Okay, no, because now what you're doing is you're bringing something in that you feel personally like ashamed of exactly to battle me and like, exactly, no, it is not because my hydroflass. It's just like my clean out because very often, actually I have been.

Washing the top of moss.

But girl, you run around outside and then get home and get in your dirty little sheets like that.

I'm going to record it because I don't care. I like the way I smell when I come inside from the outside.

Anyway.

Yeah, I was thinking because I've just been using my hydrofloss the last week, and I was like, oh, this is probably why I got bronchitis. Is because I've just been collecting my blue germs on my top and then sipping on it like a big fucking baby bottle and put it in. And usually I'm good about it. Usually I don't use a hydroflask while I'm sick because of that. But I didn't think about it.

Ironically enough, I haven't been sick in like two months, and it's because I haven't used your hydro flask. I just haven't been sipping from it, and for some reason, I haven't gotten sick. But when I.

Started, So when you're saying is you have a friend who fucking cares about you and build your immunity. See other friends, they're building, they're building businesses. Are you building their immunity? Think about that, we're building businesses and immunity.

Yeah, that's like when Drew gave me gonorrhea. I think I think about it in that way where I'm like, I'm stronger now.

You cannot be saying that ship like I'm not you you can so you're just you're literally like you're outing his history like his sexually transmitted it's.

Also my history. It's also my history.

His story, his story, his story, my story.

But yeah, I thought about it.

Well, I've been thinking about that. Actually, I've been thinking about that. Actually a lot.

Of people the more places come out with ticket sandwiches, I've been thinking about that.

Well.

I've been thinking about wave pools, like at Hurricane Harbor a.

Lot, Oh, like at water parks.

How does those exist? Those are like the most dia.

But I missed you guys. I sort of got.

You've been hanging out with normal pills people for so long that this is like jarring. No, but think about a waveful, right thinking, Those are the most dangerous things in the world, Like, how are they? Like everybody that I had know that's been in a wave pool has had a near death experience, anyone, Like I remember when I was like seven years old. I also I've been doing this thing where I speak with or I use my hands with conviction, like I moved them with conviction,

It's like it's a bit are you transitioning from like moving hands like this to.

Like this sleeps when I open. I'm telling me, I want you to live, so do that. But yeah, I when I was like seven years old, I like was in a fucking wavepool, and you know how there's like that floating booie line like right before all the mechanics. Well, like I me and my friends thought it was like really funny to like go on the other side of it and I swim up and then swim down and like just do it as many times before getting like caught.

Like did you go to water parks a lot?

Uh?

Yeah, you watched class Action Park right?

Oh? Yeah, dude? Their thing about the wait, the Johnny Knoxville one.

No, the like documentary.

Oh, I've probably seen clips of it on YouTube.

Oh you need to watch that because like one of the things they talk about, do you mind if I like talk about it?

I don't know.

One of the things they talk about is their wavepool and how literally like they would put like new lifeguards on there, or lifeguards who did something bad there as punishment because you were going to have to jump in every few minutes and you were one hundred percent going to have.

To basically like retrieve somebody who had drowned or like, and.

They would have to stop the wavefool every fifteen minutes to see if a body was under because it was like so gnarly, and it was.

Like, yeah, well, literally one kid died in my water park in the way growing up. It wasn't the wavepool. I think it was like at the bottom of the slide, but there were just so many people that he literally couldn't get to the surface.

Oh hell no, yeah, dude, wa water parks are gnarly, Like I see more people Like there was like that one dude who like it was like that waterside where you right rode the raft up and down the hills and like he like got too much momentum and didn't stop, like the wheels didn't stop him before getting to the top, and like he just ramped up and was literally decapitated, and his like little brother was in the raft with him, and like just they got to the fucking bottom of

Like it's insane water.

Also not to mention like so fucking gross, Like literally you.

Can smell the chlorine.

It's because there's too much piss.

Yeah, it's because you're trying to cover the fucking piss. Like, if you can smell chlorine, that's a bad sign. Don't get in that pool. It's a shame.

I like never really went into wave pools because basically there was like this one water park that was like I don't even know where it is.

It's called water Rapids.

And if you're like on the East coast, like the south side, you have probably been to water West.

Coast person personally, you're not from.

The West coast. Where's water Rapids anyways? If you where is it?

Where is it? Wait?

Is water rapids not a thing anymore? I don't think water Rapids is a thing anymore. There's no way. Oh it's in West Palm Beach, Okay, in my in my Rapids water park. In my head, this was the furthest ever. So actually I take back what I said, because this was still like an hour away from my house, but like that was way too far from my family to go for a water park.

But I only got to go like two or three times.

And I remember just as a kid being so overwhelmed and like I and I was never really scared of water because I was like a beach baby growing up, so I was like always like at the at the beach and stuff like playing in waves. And I was never really scared of drowning because I was a psychopath. And as a kid, that's how I wanted to die. I really wanted to drown. But I remember just like going to the like at my young age, like my intuition.

Was just like still so good.

But I remember going to the like wavepool and being like this is the most like inhumane thing ever, Like this should not this is this is danger being mimixed because waves are so dangerous. Like if you go to the beach a lot, you know that, like there's nothing more terrifying than being tumbled around in something that is like like the force of nature, like there's nothing assisting you.

So why the fuck were humans like, oh my god, I almost drowned. We're gonna do this, but so much human.

That have you seen the clip of the dudes like in that like giant wavepool with like ten thousand people and they're like selfie videoing themselves because it's like one of the most gnarly wavepools in the world, and like there's just a wave of people and then like people riding the waves on like orca whatever. They're called floaties and they just dive right into them and it just like fucking it's the funniest clip ever of a wavepool.

But I did have an arrow and when I was like seven or eight that I was obsessed.

Like I was like, I would look up videos of wave pools.

All the gay kids when they were younger would be in the Lazy River.

Why was that?

Why is that like a very telling thing?

Were you in the Lazy River? No, okay, just I don't know.

I was just curious because like I've never heard that, so it sounds like it sounds like something that would come.

From answered so fast.

I loved the Lazy River at my local water park. It was like so fun. I have so many pictures.

My dad has so many pictures of me in the Lazy River because it was fun. And now as an adult, I would pop myself in there with a margarita.

As a kid, I just had to use my brain think about that. What was I doing? Like I wish I could go back. What the fuck was I thinking?

Because I would be floating around. We were literally doing that. I was just swimming laps because I liked how fast you could go, and like there were like the little you would get all the waves or the so and you would swim with them really fast.

So you were in the lazier.

I'm just recounting your experience.

Oh okay, that to me, it sounds like it sounds like you were saying yours, but.

No, I loved the lazier.

Yeah, sneaking out of your tube and then getting yelled at. Also, yeah, the water parks are just fucking gross because like the amount of piss and like the amount of babies in swim diapers. Swim diapers are the biggest scam ever because like it is literally it's just a diaper, Like diapers are already water proof, like in a.

Sense because they are sponges.

Like you can't make a diaper that you could go into water with and it won't just.

Like soak up the water. Because every baby walking around a fucking water.

Park has the heaviest little soggy butt ever and it's full of shit and piss and chlorine.

Do you know instant snow?

Yeah?

Did you know the same material that isn't?

Is it diapers?

Is instance snow? It's just a bunch of little polymer.

Why are you laughing so far?

You guys are funny.

Sometimes it feels like you're laughing at us.

No, I'm laughing with you for sure, But.

Yeah, steaty little butts. I would never go to a water park. I would never take my kids to a water park. Honestly, I would give.

My kid is going to the water park. That's how I'm never sick is because I got my immune because I went when.

I swallowed so much I think my local water park what what?

Because I went and I swallowed so much water at the water park?

You didn't do that, Okay?

I would like swim around with my mouth open and my like my face halfway in the water, and I would just like collect all of it.

I actually would like, oh.

Yeah, I would play with that would literally water like literally do do flake water like?

I don't know.

That's why I like overpriced like specialty drinks so much, because nothing can replace the flavor of piss and.

Ship ship, real fucking ship. It's been a while since We've talked about eating ship on the podcast. I think this is like the first time in like two episodes, at least two episodes. So yeah, we eat ship, which is late here a newcomer. Well. Also, the whole cousin thing is coming back up, which is really fucking annoying because we've stated our peace on this, like yes, we

I don't know if one one one is angel that's the monster logo.

Wait, actually we need to see what one one one is because what if it's like kill yourself.

You wish.

Angel number it is fresh start new beginnings, so start a new live your life.

I'm still constipated, like still, and you know what, Okay, I don't know what I did to receive the I feel like I'm receiving physical karma for something I did because I just got really I got really sick. And then finally when that alleviated, I not letting me talk, okay, because I was talking and you just are like trying to buy it while I'm talking. So like I got then like the coughs are oh yo, uh, it's sickness, did both of them?

Both of them.

Are coughing, But that cough didn't sound bad. A cough is a normal cough.

So I got like deathly ill, which I never get.

I never get like sick to the point that I like and like, dude, I have to stay home and like fucking like lay in bed, because usually when I'm sick, I'll just like run around and like cough on people and make sure I like am putting my hands in my mouth and like touching things in public, and you know, like I do my best, like I said, to build immunity for the community. So when I am sick, I tried my best not to stay home usually, but I was so fucking sick that I couldn't go out and

Like filling my lug It was like filling my lungs with tea.

Sorry, I have to cut you off. There is period blood on the toilet seed. Oh is there, I think so on the back of it.

Oh, that's I'm sorry.

Well, no, I liked it clean. Don't worry.

I didn't see that.

Don't worry. I guess were you worried?

That was the funniest seed we have to answer. But I was like, did you see, don't worry, darling.

And then yes, what.

Were you worried?

All right?

You just that anyway.

Then my sickness evolved into bronkitness, and then I got my period and I never get cramps and ship and my fucking my body is aching.

My back hurts, my fucking.

Does anybody else's volva yet sore when they're on their period? My pussy fields like it got beat up.

My pussy pumps severely.

Now to care about the blood on the seat, so I have to go clean it.

So you look crazy? Follow he looks schizophrenic.

One time, when I was like seven or eight, I was really getting into like drawing and art and shit, while all of my older brothers were like starting to love like sports and football and everything. And it was a fine Christmas Eve at my grandmother's house, and all of my older brothers and cousins got like footballs and baseballs and sporting equipment and helmets and jerseys and shit. And I got a customized care bear And when I opened that care bear, it was like rainbow it you

What side was that?

My lit side? And now I love myself? How the hell are you gonna love someone else if you can't even love.

Yourself, Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Now, to heal your inner child's.

You have grinder.

So I need to give my inner child a gun.

I need to give my inner child a set of matches, gasoline, a gun.

LSD, A Hummer pickup truck. Oh bitch, I wanted a Hummer so fucking And did I tell you?

I saw a Hummer without the wheel on the back. And it was the most naked car I've ever seen.

It probably was ugliest.

It was so gross. I was like, damn, who knew that one little dot? It's like taking a.

Nose away from you so bad.

And I like begged my mom to get one so I could like be in a hummer. And my mom also wanted to hummer really bad. And when I was like four, I was like, you need to just write a check and get that hummer And she was like, do you know what checks are? And she I was like, yeah, it's like free money. Like I didn't understand what a check was.

It's kind of kind of is like free money.

It's not, dude, there has to be money in the account.

Fraudulent.

I've paid so many people with money that is not there.

Yeah, it's just like what are they going to fucking do, like get the money somehow?

Like no, they don't. They don't ever come and get it.

What the fuck? Remember when banks used to have the drive throughs and they would send.

The check in the two so that was funn as fuck. I put bees in one, I sent, I sent bees back.

You know what I thought? Is there?

Like you know how adults like grown ass adults are always like me acting like teeth, what.

The fuck are you saying?

Like I forget what it is. But there's like this joke or something that my teeth were replaced with bees.

Oh yeah, what is that?

Harry Styles?

Maybe I think so, Like you just said, like the most like incomprehensible thing to any human who doesn't know who we are.

What is that, Harry Styles? The bees for teeth thing? Where is that?

But you know how adults will be like like old Fox will be like, oh I remember back in my day blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

I'm like, we used to do it like this.

I have so many things that I've been thinking that I'm like, oh my god, that is I am one of those people.

Like but when I went to go.

Get this phone and they told me it was similess, I was the person who I was like, that is so fucking stupid, Like why would you take it?

Was?

Actually it is actually stupid. It's a very like create a problem to sell the solution. Yeah, like and.

I was and I was like, this is so stupid blah blah blah.

And then I started thinking about it, and we are fully going to be like we are going to be simless like in the next like ten years. I bet there will be no phone carriers because I guess other carriers because I didn't know there were other phones other than iPhones.

But apparently there are other cell your devices.

That you can purchase, which is really confused because I thought I thought there were only iPhones, Like what are the other ones?

Like?

Because don't I don't know.

But you guys don't know that there are other phones.

There's only iPhones. I don't even know what the word phone means.

I know, is that a separate word because there's iPhones?

But do you guys know that there were phones before the iPhone?

I actually don't know what that word means.

Yeah, because you keep saying it without like that's that's like if you I was like, oh, did you know that.

There were homes before homes? Like what are you saying?

Yeah, like you're taking a let Do you.

Know that there were other types of iPhones before the iPhone?

Yeah, there's iPhone like for like dug, they the three G model.

No, Like, you guys cannot be more wrong about the situation.

Okay, because that's funny because's two against fucking idiot.

Yeah, I didn't think.

I hope you feel alone that that's.

Literally how like people are wrong are right is because they can get If you can convince enough people that you're right, then it's like mom mentality.

You know what A thing that I came up with is what history is written by the victorious wrote history. I swear to God, like I don't know how they did not right.

Okay, wait, we have to talk about this.

There was a girl in the theater and I'm okay, I don't know what's been happening. I've never heard other humans laugh such a like cartoonish, non realistic laugh, other than the past month when we would to see Bodies, Body's Body.

I love it.

There was a woman in the theater. Every single joke, I was like.

Bitch, you belong in the eighties in an.

Audience for a come back in the movie theater, like because she was there, Like like I.

Like to go on your Instagram story, now go to music type in female laughing and click the first one and that's literally what she said.

That was her laugh.

And then yesterday this couple came into the theater and it was like this young girl and guy and the guy was making his girlfriend laugh and each leaft she was like.

Each one, each one was.

Exactly identical to the last one, and I couldn't believe that. I was like, I cannot believe this girl is getting away with life, laughing like she is Cat from Victorious, Like she's literally laughing like Ariana Grande's character in Victorious.

I feel are you confused? I think you would laugh like that if it was the nineties.

Yeah, straight up?

You know what I mean? Like, do you ever think about that? Like the way that you you see interviews with people from like nineteen ninety nine, and they just talk differently. They talked like they're in the nineties.

That was because they didn't have iPhone and they were living a sad to pray for life.

Yeah, that was before iPhone.

That was confusing one into one singular human being iPhone.

I I so yesterday I was walking down to get on McDonald's because we are heathens and order McDonald's at.

Oh I've been sick, And then all day I sit around and I like, why do I feel like it?

I don't feel good? One she is eating like fucking garbage, like the worst I've ever seen her eat in my entire life, because normally Dya is really good about eating good.

You know what it is? Is like, I don't want to have to take care of myself when I'm sick.

You're also leaving in three days, so I understand like not getting groceries.

Yeah, so that's the other thing is I'm like, bitch, I'm not about to buy things for it to go rawen.

Oh, we were talking about the whole cousin shit. So there's this YouTube video titled like what if all humans started in breeding?

What were you saying about getting the McDonald's.

I'll tell you in a second. Okay, we'll get to this first. But what would what would happen if all of humanity started inbreeding? And the first like minute of that video is me proposing to my beautiful, wonderful cousin Enya, who I had three children with.

It's just like, who are long gone?

I wouldn't consider in breeding. No, that's not It's just it's love. Because we have is love and we make Why do.

We have to put like such awful label on things that are beautiful?

We don't have to label everything that's old head mentality, man, Yeah, like what we are our lovers were not incestual?

Like what does that mean?

Ranson disgusting people? But yeah, I'm just I needed to be real quick before it just like got yeah, it got too crazy, too wild. But so I was getting the McDonald's at the door and at the bottom of the stairs, I had remembered something that I trauma blocked from two days earlier. And I've been wearing really really embarrassing underwear lately and Kai have seen me in them, and he saw me freak the fuck out. No one is allowed to see me in my underwear like it

And then once you put that chicken, Mike took into your mouth your problems.

It was Subway.

Oh.

It was a spicy Italian with tomato with lettuce, with banana peppers. I used to get it with oil, but I took the oil away on that particular sandwich and I'm putting it back because it adds to it. I added mayonnaise, which is fucking lit. I added cucumbers, which is fucking lit. It's really refreshing. And then I don't get it toasted. I get it cut in half and I add extra cheese and that's used.

To eat patuna from Subway.

You guys, completely dissolving the illusion of what it's like to be in a like an influencer in La. Just talk about how excited you are about mayonnaise.

Dude, Subway and McDonald's are so good and ketch up.

Our job is hard as fuck. Yeah, well, we do.

Is hard and we only eat like that because it's our it is our last choice, because we don't stop working until like one pm.

I'm working in my dreams. Baby, I'm never not working. I'm writing them bitches down. It's my heart harder than any retailer.

They added, added podcasts Essential Workers.

Okay, exactly.

That makes sense.

Because also my dad called me and he was like, NYA, it's getting hard out here, like it's just so hot, like I'm aging and I still have to work outside and my life is really and I was.

Like, oh my fucking god, why the fuck do you keep calling me my work.

Like I'm don't working.

I'm literally like and then I fucking hang up on him, and then I look at kind of like, you better fucking cut that out of this. You better cut that the fuck out because my dad is on the phone crying to me. Then my mom calls and she's like, NYA, like can you please can you help with the phone bill?

And I'm like, oh my god, you fucking bitch, throw your phone away. Why you need a phone? I need a phone for my work.

It's crazy because I find myself working past like five point fifteen on like the idea day.

No, sometimes my work structures past one pm. And I don't know. I don't know how people do it.

Like what the fuck?

I have to wake up? Picture this.

I wake up at nine am. I put on makeup, and I come and I sit here and I fucking give my heart.

To you bitches, and I give you my everything and all you do is laugh.

But what was I saying?

Physically? This job is hard to because I have to keep up this image.

Yeah, because I have to like go to the gym that I spend like so much money on.

Like, ugh, you guys do look really good, honestly, Like you're both of you as his skin and your hair looks really good.

I have not washed my hair in so.

Long, very silky things.

It's literally natural oils. There's a huge fucking hat back on bits.

What really?

I think it looks good? Yeah, it's fun.

Drew loves to pull his hair out. It's like it's falling out. It's falling out, and then.

He's like why why do I have like split ends And it's literally because his hair it does naturally shed, but to show us.

He rips his hair around. It's like, look, yeah, put.

More hair out of my head than I have, like actually shed my hair just to show people that I'm bolding. But I had a very stressful event happened to me about three months ago, and I think I'm finally seeing the damages from that in my own body.

I like, can't think of what happened three months ago.

You don't want to know.

Oh, I don't know what happened.

Oh when you were talking about subway, all I could think about is when we walked to write it, which is like that's what what the fuck are you saying.

To me right now?

Who wants us to priy so bad about what happened?

No, you clearly want us to Okay, Well, that's good for you.

Keep that shit to yourself.

No more prying, Like if you don't want to tell me something like I'm not looking for it, like you either tell.

Me or I keep going, Yeah, I'm with you that I want.

I wish this was a real soda so I could shake it up and open it like cartoon and straight all on it.

But what I was thinking about me and drew and write it.

And before we went, he was telling me what he was gonna get and he was like, I'm gonna get lace chips. And then when we were in there, he was looking and he was like, I thought lace chips sounded really good. And I was like, you're thinking of how good lays chips are. When you have a subway sandwich with it, Like, that's a different.

Like change, that is a different The sandwich elevates the chips to another It's a symbiotic relationship. Yeah, and the chips get elevated to another level because that crunch mixed with the meat.

And what is it about?

What is it about having a mouth full of chewed up McDonald with some coke on top?

Oh?

What is it?

Me?

With popcorn? You know what I do?

I tried it and I was like, this is awful.

I take a bite out of my hot dog. I stuffed my mouth full of popcorns and then I drink the soda and I melt it. It's so old.

That changes it because I thought you were just doing popcorn and Coca cola And I was like this dissolving paper.

I literally do do that as well. You know Alex from Target, Right, what if I told you I was him?

I would literally that's why I'm here. I would show you a video of him, and I would be like this, you were not him.

Uh, dude, I love you. I love my job at Target.

It was like so like, love it so much.

You got one small kind of better option and you fucking left.

Yeah.

Ellen was such a bitch to me, Like she was so mean, Like she brought me on her show and like she told me all these lies to my face about how like we're gonna make you starve, We're gonna make you famous, You're gonna be mine, You're all mine. Now. It's really fucking weird. And she brought me up on the show. Yeah, basically it was she thought I was a girl. She just said all these like really crazy

And oh wait, so this isn't better than Target.

You just ended up here, this is like your rock bottom.

Well, I feel like this is a really good place for me. So now I feel like offended.

Yeah, but you're not Alex from Target. Do you know where I've been, the places I've seen the amount of money.

Did he get like sponsored by like Vans? Daniel Daniel, Damn Daniel.

I just saw the clip the other day of Josie on the floor saying like.

Cells have gone up, seven.

Came.

We talked about Josiah every single episode, but.

And he doesn't come around them.

Why is it in a woman's DNA when she is single to post more selfie two?

It is like God did that?

That was like the iOS update for women like single, post more selfie, get hotter, post more selfie.

Okay, because that's what I do.

If you see me, if you see me posting myself a lot, I am genuinely marketing myself cracket.

Okay.

Why are all girls who use I G crackheads?

I hate that All my laughs sound like they're being.

A smoker smoker cough.

Okay, here's something I wrote down. I Hella ate dog food as a kid, and I wish I was brave enough to eat fish food too.

That is the most vile thing I've ever heard.

You didn't think, you don't think fish food, but you don't even like tuna, so you don't you're you're like coming from a different place.

You're coming from a less expanded palette.

Me.

Since I was a dark dog food have I had this sense I felt like Remy from Rat of two weeks. I had this like ultra violence.

And the dog food, the bacon, the little bacon strips. Okay, that ship looked young. I never ate it, but I always wanted to eat.

I know, I ate like it comes in the yellow back, because that was the dog food we got my dog.

It comes with a.

Yellow bag, in the yellow bag and it has the like blue like like stamp of approval on it.

Do you know what food I'm talking about? Yes, I ate all the time.

And then we had a oh hellants you wanted began strips, bitch, you just wanted bacon.

I just wanted that.

Looks so good. They have like the dye on them.

Yeah, it literally just red. It just looks like like fake tofurky bacon that you can eat now.

It looks so good.

But fish food, I think that's the most vile thing I've ever heard you say or come from your mouth, like that's that's really ransom.

No, like I would I would take some rice right now and put some fish flake food on it.

Ohang it yeah, like that's literally all it is. Yeah, that makes a little more sense. Actually, yeah, because that's elevating.

Now's fucking good.

Like if you don't think fish food smells good, you're just like not that person, like you were, just like you're honestly not on the level I'm at. Like you probably you probably can't walk into Novu and get a table without even saying a word.

And that's the level I'm at. And you if you don't like the taste of fish food.

Or smell it, you can't do that. You've never done that.

Oh I do it all the time. I just don't do it with you because then I wouldn't get the fuck okay, yeah, yeah, you you boy my fucking side, they.

Would look at me and they would.

Put me aside and they would be like, Enya, what.

The fuck did we tell you about this freak? And I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, Like I honestly forgot. He was in the car with me. He was in the back seat because I make him sit in the back seat because I don't like him. On the past, driving with a parent has to be the most frustrating thing on the fucking planet.

Me predicting the Queen's death. It's the most frustrating thing on the planet. No, I'm believing me.

You look back every but he predicted.

Everybody predicted the death of.

A mid ninety thirty year old woman was going to die.

Yeah, but no one predicted the day our time when you did that. Because go look, go look, go look where you're not giving me, just find it. I don't need to explain myself and everything.

I'm going to start saying I said ship because really, who's going to look through like sixty four hours of footage to see if I said it like I said.

That, I would, Me and Kai both would.

Yeah, we both.

I'm going to take my fucking diva cup out and like go like this to it has come.

There's a Twitter account that predicted the day that the queen died.

There's always a fucking Twitter account predicting something and then runs it.

I can't believe this predicted this me?

No, no, yeah, please please don't.

Fucking talk like that. Okay, are you gonna cut that?

I mean yeah, I'm always here to protect your image.

Yeah, yeah, I don't even know why you're fucking saying it.

I wouldn't leave the knockdown. I wrote it while you were hitting.

Him, while I was now, you gotta cut that.

I'll cut that too well.

I was giving him the attention he needed.

And I'm definitely not gonna leak it on the subreddit.

Oh shit, I like how you flinch your head.

Too, like still, well, I'm getting hit. That just hurt.

Sorry, guys, the makeup crew had to come in and touch me up. But we're back. We're back.

Some day.

Mad oh.

I was talking about this yesterday. It's actually really awesome to see people like excited about a buyorick album release, like I feel like the last like two albums she's released, like no one has given a shit out.

There's gonna be one person who's like, I care, I cared, I cared, I cared.

No, you didn't.

You're lying to yourself.

You did not care to the degree that I've been seeing online. And it's just really fascinating and awesome to see like a revital or revival of her like cool like audience, especially in like gen Z, which is cool. I don't give a shit about her new album, be Real.

Be Real.

I'm there because two of the singles like ovial and whatever. The other one was not the fucking trumpet one. But two of the singles were pretty good, so I am curious.

The trumpet one was the craziest song I've ever heard in my life. Don't don't get me wrong. I will listen to this album and I will probably love it, but like I'm not like excited about it, like I was excited about Like, I don't know.

Somebody made a really funny TikTok that I was like, guys, we did it.

We hit the end of music with that song.

That song, like, guys, we didn't like we we hit the end of it.

There's nothing else the Brockhampton song, which one the one where every instrument.

That song is fucking list.

There is something about it that they such a shimple time.

Okay what we didn't talk about it, and it's been three episodes since, but we just haven't been in the same room to discuss this publicly. But I had a sex stream with guy.

Oh, come on, man.

I did I really? I real life, for real? Did?

It's true? He told me.

I told him literally all about it. Actually I didn't tell him all about it. I just know it happened. And I have this thing where if I have a sex dream of someone that's in my personal life, I have to tell them or I will never be able to look at them the same way. And the next morning I.

Woke up and told him immediately was it gross?

No, it was lit, it was sex.

Dreame.

I don't remember what happened. I just know it was lit.

You don't remember what happened.

To see, I've only had two kind Why don't I remember what happened?

It's what I wasn't memorable. What I did to you wasn't memorable.

Oh so, y'all actually had sex and you tried to suppress it because you're embarrassed and ashamed of how gross he is.

You don't have to be ashamed.

Everybody's had sex with somebody who's so fucking foul and ugly and disgusting and they regret it, but like you move on, believe, and then at one point in your life you're like, you know what, that person wasn't the grossest person on the earth.

And that dream was a way for me to cope with a traumatic event. So coping, that's literally all dreams are coping coping mechanism.

No dreams are me being on the fucking magic carpet going through the like Tonic Tundra for.

Tonic, that's that's the new Fortnite, and that's Tonic Tundra.

I've only had sections about two people in the group, and it's Oriyan and Drew and drews was horrifying.

It was literally horrifying.

We were like being forced to do it, and it was literally like I think it was because.

All the time, Oh that was a thick glob Huh did it hit the back of your tongue at the front.

Hit the back of my throat? Like the dream, just like the dream.

The one Withdrew, and it was literally like I think it's from us always being like I feel like if we were forced half sex, like it would.

Just be funny. But the dream was not funny.

It was literally us realizing like, oh, this isn't funny, this is awful. And then the other one was with Oryan and it was fucking lit, but it was like sad because we were like, dude, we shouldn't have done that.

Likes to have been like hella fucking horny because like a few days prior to the one I had a sex dream with Oh, I know, yeah, but it was fucked up, and I that was one person that I couldn't tell that I had that with, but I told everybody else and like I genuinely still to this day, cannot see that person the same. What the fuck are sex dreams? They're so embarrassing, Like I have zero interest or want for these people. Why am I having sex on planes?

I always fall thinking about sex, that's like, and then then I knock out.

I am offended, Like what you said is offensive?

Can you stop being so? But her? It's embarrassing?

But which I made your butt hurt?

Your dream?

Let's t about that. Wait, girl, hold on, tell me why cheating on your significant other is the best thing ever invented. Like for me as a man, I get to have sex and have zero feelings. But as like a woman or my partner in this situation, like you're obviously you cannot have sex with another person because you'll fall in love with them. But me, I'm designed to do this. Cheating is the best thing I ever intended, and I won't back down.

I saw this girl made her he said.

Quote that that clip, clit, that clit, that chat chat, this girl made.

Her husband sign a clause or like her fiance that if he cheated on her, it was something like he had to like pay her, like it was like like a for emotional damages like.

Which is.

Which I actually think Julia Fox actually talked about this too.

I think is a reasonable thing because you have to think because Julia Fox explained.

It like perfectly.

She was like, the like emotional trauma that that causes on somebody, and how like hard it is to get past it and go into other relationships with that like genuinely does complicate your life to a degree that is like immeasurable. So it wouldn't make sense to have to like pay for that person's like therapy to have to like work through that. I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that because I'm gonna cheat.

So I don't want to put myself in a pickle.

Cheaters. No, I actually do fully agree with that.

That's like a I don't I wouldn't blame somebody if they stabbed a cheater, not killed them, but like stabbed like puncture.

Yeah, a cheater doesn't deserve to be killed, but they deserve to be injured.

Like some kind of like injury.

Yeah, yeah, like maybe even like a pinky toe ripped off, because that's like you don't need that, but it will hurt.

Yeah, it will hurt, and then every time you look down you will be reminded of the awful thing you did.

Or like to be spanked.

Should begin to me good that all right, you take whichever movie I don't say, or we can do it the other way. Okay, So uh, me and Enya and Josh went to two movies in a row and it was so fucking lit and.

We saw, well, you, I know you stink. I make it funny, like I don't do that every episode. I think it is okay, and that feels to smell your.

Nice you like that.

I think it's okay to smell yourself because I'd rather smell myself than like wait for someone like that clip.

Of that girl at the festival, like smelling herself when she's jumping around and having a good time and then she smells herself and puts her arms down like people were making fun of her at first, but then the rest of the world was like wait no, like that's so good in yourself aware and thank you for putting your stab.

I think my stinks. My must smells really good, so I would keep my arms.

Up attract attracts some some fine specimens. But we saw two movies in a row. We saw the movie I'm gonna talk about is what fucking movie is it?

Barbarian?

Barbarian? Barbarian is fucking a masterpiece. It's like terrifying and hilarious and like it's it like no point is are you able to really guess what's gonna happen next? It's like one of those like dude, it's so f I don't want to spoil it because like going.

Into gond was.

So don't watch a trailer. Go watch it without a trailer. It was so fucking funny too, Like it was.

Nothing I did that was like the last thing I expected.

Yeah, exactly, it was.

So I watched did go see it because I was like, this is gonna fucking suck, because I hate scary movies because I think they're so like.

It was like the first like good scary movie in a while. Yeah, like since like Midsommar.

Also, what I just thought about was you know the audio that's going where I was like, yeah, I was actually supposed to be in that music video, Yeah, I was, and it's like it's just supposed to be making fun of people who randomly were like, oh dude, I was supposed to be in that movie. But I got invited to the premiere of that movie and I didn't go, And I literally was like, wow, I got invited.

To that premiere.

Yeah, at the end of the movie, you announced it to the entire full fucking theater, Like, damn, I should have gone to that. I should have I was invited to. That was so good. But it was also just like one of those movies that you get to be rowdy and and like no one can be mad because like you can yell, it can be like damn.

I was cracking up. I said.

We were laughing at the wrong times.

I said buruh really loud at one point and literally like got a laugh and it was way.

Too good for me, Like, oh, do you know we didn't even talk about this, but literally before, like right when the movie started, like I'm not joking, like a minute into it, like this really silent part happened and then literally you just hear someone's ring tone and it's like do you like Pina? And then it cuts off and he just runs out of the theater and we.

Died because I, first of all, that is your.

Ring too, yeah, exactly, like what the fuck is happening?

It was so lit.

Also, you know, we had to clap for Nicole Kidman and we got the theater literally rolling.

In yeah yeah, in crafts in crack her amc like before the movie thing like we were like and then the whole theater just all like curst out laughing.

It started clapping because everybody, like when it started kind of went dead silent because everybody knew.

And was like, oh my god, it's it's the commercial and it was a pack theater. It just felt so good. Life is a Bad Baby. But the other.

Movie we saw was Fire of Love and genuinely best movie ever, best soundtrack ever. I love that fucking movie. I'm literally going to make. Me and Drew have decided we're going to make volcanoes personality and we are going to see a volcano, if not for his birthday, for my.

Yeah, we're gonna go to Iceland and we're not. There's two types of volcanos and we learned this from the movie. There's grays and there's Red. I want to we want to see Red The Red. The Red is beautiful one, but like the composition of the shots in that movie was fucking crazy.

It made me like really really envious, and like I have this issue where when I see someone creating really good art that somehow feels like I can make, I get this like weird feeling where I'm like I have to do that, but then I'm like, that is literally not something I'm capable of doing, because.

It was just dude, it was like gorgeous.

It was like audibly being like oh my god.

Yeah, we like couldn't shut the fuck up because we just kept being like, dude, what like it was like comical how good it was, and then it really just yeah, I was gonna say, That's something I really love. Is like I think my favorite kind of like the reason why I love documentaries and the ones I usually go to watch are ones where I'm watching footage from like just somebody like videoing somebody they like and like or like love, and like that's.

Like the best kind of footage to watch. I love that so much.

Yeah, we saw it together, okay.

And that's what I love.

Is just like people filming themselves are like, which is actually crazy to think about. Because that's that's why like YouTube and like the internet does so well, is because people just inherently like that because they'd like to feel human, which is like the simplest thing anybody's But.

Like it was just so good, literally a masterpiece, and.

Like that was the post I was trying to buy is being yelled at.

Ye if you see Barbarian or if you want to see Barbarian or Fire of Love, you go see Fire of Love.

Of the two, but I will say it is like a slow documentary and it's like it's a French documentary because they were a French volcane volcanist on vulcanate just the hardest word ever. So because one's a documentary and then one's like a blast to watch, but like it just depends the mood you're in. But both are so fucking good. I would see Fire of Love again, like I like annually. I'm like I need to say, yeah.

I would see it again, just because it's I would see both. Yeah.

I was just about to say, like both are just.

To catch the little things, but yeah, Fire of Love

Seen, so just the most romantic thing I've seen in a long time. Yeah, Like that was the crazy part. I've never seen a documentary about something so science based that was like so romantic.

Yeah, based on love and dude, those freaks were like philosophical geniuses. Like their writing was gorgeous. But for my music media, I gotta to talk.

About Love of Fire or Fire of Love soundtrack so Orca by Nicholas Godden, the Big Ship two thousand and four by Brian Enu, and then.

They they had Forever Time Journeys by Naraan Rattan in it, which was fucking lit. But Clouds Up by Air is the other one that like was really shocking to me.

Yeah, that whole soundtrack.

Dude, it's just a great sound It's.

Literally literally, I'm not kidding.

I think it was like the best soundtrack of all time, and like the best, it was the best like non original soundtrack ever, like because when I was watching it, I was like, dude, some of these songs had to be made for this, but no, it was just whoever curated the soundtrack for that was like so spot on, It was so literally everything on that fucking soundtrack is top.

And then No Bitterness by Alex the.

Only one that last part I felt like the last.

Part by York Wish by Blood Orange, which is I already think I fucking said that. I think I already fucking said that the fuck never could have been worth by everything but the.

Girl, everything but the bagel.

And then wait, what album is this? Something of it's uh, give me one second? Oh oh, port and Spark by Joni Mitchell because I got it on CD.

Finally, because I haven't been able to listen to Joni Mitchell in so long because since she's not on streaming services, I think she's just not on Spotify. Maybe she's on Apple, but I use Spotify, so.

You better work were queer? Yeah, we que Yeah.

And then I have to start buying.

I think I've already said this, but I gotta start buying like CDs. She is on Apple, but I don't use Apple, so I just haven't listened to her in a long time. And that was really nice because I got to use my next CD player. I just have to get CDs of all like the classics. I have to go like make a list and like find them for dirty because I don't want to spend.

CDs are so new, CDs are so.

Expensive now so expensive.

But yeah, thank you guys so much for watching this episode.

I hope you enjoyed and loved and had a blast in a great time. You're wonderful. You're beautiful. Every emergency intercompan I've ever met in my entire life, I'm like, wow, y'all are pretty. So if I've met you, you're pretty.

And if I've met you, fuck, ain't you come?

Kiddy,