Our Polyamorous Relationship w/ Ky

Oh, brother, welcome to this.

That don't sit right with me.

Letting letting Kay get the class camera one time, and he wants to take charge.

I wanted I've always wanted to do the cloud.

I get the last class.

Oh, before we start every episode, we have to clap each other's cheeks so that the audio and like video is like aligned, so we do spank each other. And Ki wanted to get spanked, but we can't let him have it.

Anyways, Okay, I'm gonna actually go. And I literally hate open cabinets so much. The reason why they have doors, it's because they're supposed to be shut. Wow, that was me that left it open.

Well, welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercolm. If you feel like the funk shue is a little off, I don't know why that word is in my vocabulary. I think it's because that lady literally fucking yelled at me over my bag. She barked at me, but I liked it, like it felt good?

Did it actually feel good? No? It was really she said it. It was like really disrespectful to me.

I was like, no, it fully was, but like I was like, you know what, I could get down with this.

She was like very neurotic of the backstory. This girl at this event, like random person was sitting next to in you at this table and and you put her purse on the ground and she was like, that's bad functuay to put it on the ground. And I don't want you to bring that energy around me, so like just like pick up your purse and so and you like put it on her seat or something, and like she was like just kept going about how like she didn't want that bad energy around us.

And I was like, well, I carry bad energy everywhere I go, so I don't plan on changing that.

Yeah, are you guys gonna introduce me or.

Oh I forgot you were here?

Yeah, that was weird.

It did seem like you guys completely No.

No, we were just talking about the bad functioning. We have really bad mental issues, and I was going to get to it eventually.

Okay, at some point, maybe like thirty minutes into the episode, we'd be like, oh right, I also Kai here wa?

Kai is here? This is Kay's episode the intro.

Yeah, Well, as you can tell, what I was trying to say is if the ora is like a little different, it's because Kai is on camera today, which is something everyone begs for, Like, but they beg for KAIKM.

Yeah, they beg for KAIKM. But we're giving you a Kai episode because I feel like it's it's like only right to just like get to know Kai a little bit more. I feel like you guys kind of don't know him, and I think it's important to the whole ecosystem that is Emergency Intercom for you to learn about each of us.

Well more importantly, we don't have the budget for another fucking camera, Like, we don't have two cameras. This camera isn't even ours, it's Josh's the one who for the podcast.

People still don't even know how to spell my name.

Oh do you want to?

That could be your introduction break under introduction? Who are you?

What do you do?

What do you do?

How you filtrade Emergency in or Com?

So my name is Kai Newman. It's spelled k Y. My parents just decided that they wanted it to be like that.

That was fuzzy as hell.

Sorry I was in the middle of Oh yeah, no, I know. Sorry, I infiltrated Emergency in or Com by talking to Druid a party about ketamine therapy for depression.

You always forget that I was a part of that conversation, but.

I you were a part of it, but I didn't. I thought that you didn't remember that you were a part of it.

Yeah, I didn't. I didn't even actually remember that you were.

No, I was fully a part of it because we were all talking about depression, and I think that's when I was still in my really really dark depression depressive episode, and then I tapped out because I was like, Oh, this for real isn't going to stop, and it's actually going to make me like end my life tonight, So I'm tapping out.

I thought you didn't remember, because when I talked to you like a year later, you were like, oh, it's so cool meeting you for the first time.

Because I didn't like put that together like be bodied immediately.

That was the first one out of many that conversation stuck with me for a very very long time. Really, Yeah, the one outside yeah on the balcony, because me and Kai literally talked for like, I feel like three hours, and then we also like like invited other people into our discussions and it like became like this big circle of people. We commanded Yeah, Chautau on the balcony.

I don't remember who else it was, though, I feel like like Nick.

When I was there, and then three or four other random people that I still to this day don't know.

Yeah, I remember you talking about getting like in an uber and then talking about needing to ship really bad.

I don't remember that was your first introduction to India. I remember needing to ship. I feel like that's like most people's introduction.

Most introductions to me are like people walking away and being like I still have no idea who that is. And that's good. That is good. You should block yourself fall from strangers. Everyone is scary, Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I I genuinely when I when we spoke. The next time I saw Kai was outside in the front of the house.

Like a year later too.

Yeah, it was like a long time.

It was almost like a year and a half later. It was a peak pandemic.

Within that time, the pandemic started and then the protests in La yeah, like all over the country.

Yeah, and that's when I was like riding my bike and that's why I saw you, because I came back from my bike ride.

Yeah, and it looked like me and Kai had just hooked up.

I genuinely thought y'all were hooking up when he first started coming over. Like I don't know if I'm allowed to say that on the podcast, but that's genuinely what I thought. Like I was, like I did. I never once went to go check what you guys were doing. I don't know if you know. I never like I never stepped foot. I never like Kai never introduced himself

I mean, we were hooking up, but you should have just like said you thought I.

Was pulling up at three pm on like a Wednesday.

Yeah, I was like, yeah, they're really about it.

Like I'll never for kick I've been wearing his mask through the house that I was like, this motherfucker thinks were dirty.

It was so that was I think about that, like That'll be an intrusive thought that I have when I'm driving gogere what happens For those of you that don't know, I pulled up to their apartment. This is the first time I'd ever like I feel like it's the first time I ever like hung out with everybody at once. Yeah, And it was like if you could even call it hanging out, because like I walked in, Drew was like gonna give me I think it was like a vase or something.

Yeah.

And then I walked in and you guys were all sitting on the couch without your masks because you all like lived together and like hang out all the time. And I was wearing my masks. It was like peak or it was like mid pandemic. And then I was like, oh, hey, what's up. I like said hi in a really weird way. You guys are watching Dave or something. You're like, oh, it's a like random person.

Did I literally it was. I remember it was like you, Me, Josh, o'rian and maybe Lucas or Christian it was like one of them. Like it was like just all of us like sitting around.

I think, yeah, it was definitely Ryan was there. Yeah, and then I was just like I don't know what to do. I think I'm just gonna keep my mask on.

Dude. I felt so bad because I was like, Dude, I like brought him into this environment where like it's just a bunch of people, like not a bunch like five people without a mask, and like I was like, oh my god, he's like freaking out because he's gonna get COVID from us. But we hadn't been anywhere in two weeks, so I was just.

Like, yeah, no, you know what it was. It was like that funny time during the pandemic where everyone's like logical sentences about like our ideas about how to maneuver through groups made no sense because it wasn't like you being in a mask. That bothered me because I was like, girl, like, yeah, get yours, like I get it, Like although we're being safe, like everybody was really.

Concerned with everyone was like just in there apartment.

Yeah, So like I was like, oh, I get it, Like you haven't like been out. You're in like this home where like you don't know me and Josh, you don't know if we've been safe. Like that makes sense. But what annoyed me was Kai would come into the house and then go into Jerw's room and take off his mask. And I was like, that's when it makes

And like pray your viruses everywhere.

Yeah, and spray spit everywhere.

I remember you. You made us work outside too, like the.

First time I made us.

Yeah, oh my god, you.

Don't remind him of that. He's going to have like a panica.

Well, I just I felt so bad. I was just like, first of all, it's stressful, like enter an apartment with a bunch of people that all know each other and like you.

It's our group was like the worst like group to like assimilate, and because we're.

So loud, Like we're loud as fuck. And also we are relentless and merciless and like if you can't catch on to like the jokes that we're throwing at you, like they don't stop until you either figure it out or you leave.

Or you tap out. Most people tap in though, because.

It's turn people out.

Yeah, it's literally just like I guess we're not saying none of I know, none of our conversations are ever like like super like it's like we're saying nothing when we speak, like that's it, and you either like get it. You either get it or you don't, or you don't because.

I still I just like vividly remember sitting on the couch while everybody was watching Dave and just wearing my mask and everybody else wasn't and they were like, who the fuck is this dude, because it was like at that point too, we just didn't even know how dangerous COVID was, you know. We were like, We're like, this is pretty bad. We don't know, we don't even know like how it spreads.

It was honestly like respectful and you're in like almost if you like think back on it, because it was respectful.

Yeah, when you ill like really latching onto that. But when you mentioned that, I'd even remember that day. That day was such a like just one of those days during the pandemic where it was just like absolute nothing, like mindless nothing. I think I was straightening my hair or something. I don't know, I might be thinking of a different day. There were just so many days where all we did was sit on the fucking country douic shit. But yeah, I do remember you being in the house and.

Wearing smoking blunts, eating cheese and crackers, that was your pandemic.

Yeahs cheese and crackers.

For eating cheese and crackers, you were smoking goat cheese cream creamy goat cheese.

I think I gave myself a tapeworm, but that's not here there girl.

Recently, we need to get tapeworms. Looky I should I think you got a tapeworm?

Yeah, I do too. It's literally in my hole right now. Like I'm not kidding, I don't know what I don't know.

Let me let me, let me see your excrem in after you shit and let me sick.

Oh gonna imagine I go and like take a little turn right now, and there's little worms like crawling in and out of it. No, I straight up think there's something wrong with my stomach. Like just for everybody to as an update is because all I do is talk about my fucking shit on this podcast. Oh I thought I was gonna burpen it almost to throw up. But

That's how you get hemorrhoids.

No, but that's the thing. I'm not pushing. It's literally like I have to poop, but like to put any pressure on my body, it like sends shocks of like really intense pain in my actual stomach, not even like my abdomen. It's it's not in my intestine. It's in my stomach up here. It really hurts. And I spent.

Cry baby cry a little.

It is it is my period. I think I think it's just my period.

I was saying earlier. My new saying is immediately I rolls from India because.

I was trying to get this out earlier. We were walking.

Let's get some boots, but hold the house. Boots, house on the side.

Oh that's really good.

Let me get some boots. House on the side. Maybe down it, put it on the down low.

Maybe put it on the down payment of the house. What side of the boots.

Let me get a side of boots. Hold the house. That's it. Let me get a side of the boots. Hold the house.

That's cool. Like when you said that, I feel like I lit up.

That was like, that was you lighting up?

I have depression.

Yeah, but that you know how that fucking came up is I illegally parked my car in this one street all the time. Today I finally was faced with the repercussions and I got a ticket, A big, hefty, fat stinking ticket. To be fair, I pushed it. I left that car there for like two hours, like I was really.

Feeling myself unreal. We went in eate for an hour and we came back and like, oh, like no ticket, and we went in for another hour.

Yeah, we went to a different.

Power went out today.

This came up is because when I was parking my car, I was like, I wonder if they would tow my car put a boot on it? And then I was like, why have no companies gone out of their way to make like portable boots that you could put on your own car, to trick towing companies and ship into thinking that you just have a boot on your car already so you can legal.

Or fake tickets, put fakes.

Literally, I think about all the if I get a ticket and I'm like, bitch, I'm just committing to it, and I leave the ticket on there for the rest of the day because I'm like, what are you gonna double me up?

My friend would just do that. He just had a ticket that he would just put on his windshield.

I'm going to keep the one put it there. Really, yeah, I'm just going to do that too.

Then.

But yeah, I was like saying that, and then I was like, should I put boots on all four of my wheels and give my car up hair? It's literally boots And then Jerry get stuttered like insanely to try to get that sentence out. He was like, oh wait, he was like, no, no, I'm gonna say this for the podcast.

No wait, no I should say. I was like, can I get some boots? And then he was like, Drew, shut the fuck up and just say it on the podcast. But with that said, we thought our power went out.

Today, Yeah, we thought our bill.

How long was it out? For? Like three hours?

Like two hours?

Yeah?

Yeah, And we were doing the same naughty thing. It's like literally an addiction, like we're addicted to seeing how high the number can go. And we like we've ever since we paid it last like we haven't paid it again.

You know what it is is like power going out. Paying It reminds me of my childhood. It just reminds me of that fear, like of like being home and feeling safe, but then the power going out and being like what happened and my dad being like put all the food in the cooler with dice.

Dude.

The power going out when you were younger was the coolest thing.

Lighting candles, Yeah, you'll light candles.

Yeah, we would like candles. And I remember like one time it went out and my neighbor at the time I had like a crush on. I was like we were both like thirteen boned. No, we didn't bone. I just remember like she like moved in like six months earlier or something, and I was like so afraid to ever like even like talk to them. I remember like the power went out and we all, like all the neighbors like went out and we're like standing in the street.

Just talking about it.

And I remember like she was there and I was like, oh my god, this is so exciting.

Wait, what's the point of telling a story if y'all don't have sex in it?

Stories can like it's not about the destinations, about the journey facts.

No, it's about the climate when.

When we went to it, and.

It's all about busting I know.

It's all about games getting to that peak of pleasure.

When we had that recent power outage, I felt like such a dad. Like I went outside and stood in the road with my hands off my side like this, and I was like trying to like communicate with the other neighbors and none of them they were all dubbing the fuck out of me. I was like, so, is y'all's power out too, I'm assuming and they were like they were just like look at me. And I was like, Okay, I'm going inside.

Do you live in this area?

Like image of you standing with your hands like against her back is so.

I'm going inside now.

And then I was at Airwon and I bought a million of the most probably expensive little candles ever because I was like, Oh, it's just gonna be cute, like I want to rush back home and light them up for the for like all of our friends at are at home, and the light went out on right when I paid for that.

Dude, I used one of those randomly one day when you were gone, and it burnt And I'm not kidding the entire thing burnt and went out in five minutes, and that I'm not exaggerating, like it melted. You gone, Yeah, all of the wax was gone. I was like, what the fuck. I like went to and took a shower, and I came back and it was already out and all the wax was gone, And I was like, did Josh drink the wax? I swear to God winn through my head, but power.

I the reason I was watching that Sly Cooper thing yesterday. That video game is literally because one of my fondest memories of playing that is like our godfamily used to live across the street from us, and then when not I think it was Hurricane Katrina, it wasn't Hurricane or it wasn't Hurricane Andrew. Maybe it was whatever hurricane hit Miami, and it was like pretty gnarly, like it was one

Play we have siblings that are gods.

Yeah wait, we didn't know that.

No nobody knew that.

Oh okay, Well, when God actually likes you and cares about you, he like gives you even more family because he wants you to be surrounded by extra love. Y'all don't have that. No, Oh my God, you should speak to him.

So you guys were all just playing.

We were playing Sally Cooper, like when the Power Came Back. That was like the first video game we were playing. And I was so happy because I was my favorite game and I was like, so I get to play this game again. Because I thought I was going to die during the hurricane, because it was just like anytime a hurricane kit hit and it was that crazy. I like swore I was gonna die and it was a crazy hurricane, Like our backyard was full of trees and all the trees got knocked down.

You had hurricanes, I had tornadoes, and KAI had fires.

I had fires. Yeah, my parents' house has My parents live in northern California, and my parents house have almost burned down like five times.

Have y'all ever had like a fire experience of like our house burning or like something close to.

Yeah. No, In twenty eighteen, the fire like reached almost our backyard. My parents could see it and then they evacuated everything.

Dude, that's insane. That's literally my nightmare is because of like, Oh, I'm like literally if.

Our house burnt down, I would actually, I'm not kidding, would kill myself. And that's like not a joke, Like, I.

Yeah, I don't think.

I have my little trinkets that I've collected over the last three years, Like what am I going to do?

Yeah, that's my thing is. I'm like I got all my.

Little like grimlins, like we're literally goblins and we have our little No.

Yeah, I have my trinkets that I like, go and I collect and I and I add them to my room and I can't stop. Every time I'm out I see a little trinket, I'm like, this needs to be at it to my collection.

If my house burned down. Ketamine treatment has worked so well for me that even that wouldn't affect me, and I would just like turn.

It into advanced Who do you like more mirror in you?

I was going to say something so mean and you were going to win it. I was gonna be like, bro, you wouldn't care because the clothes on your back is like the same thing you wear every day.

Okay, cut that.

I'm sorry, K, You're awesome. That was a joke.

I thank you.

Do you like more mirror in you?

Okay? So he's always talking to you guys at chateau. That's how wes that's how we first met, right like, yeah, yeah, so we can just go back to that story if you want, just like circle back.

Yeah, okay, cool.

What does it have to do with oh, you're you're awarding the pussion.

I'm not avoiding anything.

I was just like, you could be honest, you're you're I feel like you're closer to Drew. It make more sense if you picked true.

Well, he's hesitating, which makes me good that he likes you more. Let me down.

I'm closer to Drew, but I do like you guys equally. Are the reason why I say that, even though I'm closer to drews because I am afraid of women. So even though it seems like I like Drew more. See, I can't even look at you. Even it seems like I like Drew more, I actually like you guys perfectly equally.

And which is disrespectful to me.

No, it's not.

Why do you have to like?

People can see a little. I'm actually glad that people can see the manipulation and gaslighting in real time.

You're one manipulating in gas lighting. No, I'm not saying you like Inya more than me.

It's also funny because you're just asked you a question and you're making it this whole thing, and you're gas lighting.

And then you just said you like Inya more and now I'm trying to get you.

No, No, I know I didn't say that I liked anymore. I like you, guys.

I hate that I'm doing this to you.

Said that he wants me and my family to burn it.

I've caused like violence like this between two men.

Said his backyard caught on fire and he thought about throwing me into the fire.

I didn't. I never said that, you guys.

Because because you get final cut, you're gonna cut that out.

You guys are seeing this. You guys are saying this mmmmm. Look as the third to this polyamorous relationship.

We haven't talked about that. Come on, lockhands, everybody, hold my hands, really sweaty.

But my hands have pea on them.

I can't hold his wrist, hold his wrist, no other wrist. Yeah, we need to make a circle because.

We're making a triangle right now.

Okay, we are in a three way polyamorous relationship. Yeah, this is the cannot look you in the eyes though.

I am still afraid of women, but partially.

In the eyes I think.

Yeah, I just you guys saw that I did it, and she went.

It was like, you're like too close?

Can you make eye contact with me?

Yeah? Easy? You have hunter eyes.

Yeah, I I kill my arms are and Kay's blocking on my good light, Like I need to, like, I like, y'all get and you think about saying sentimental things.

I get on here and I'm like I need to look good and get clipped.

The polyamorous relationship, it has its ups and downs, but like at the end of the day, like we make it work.

It's good because since Kai is like not brave enough to say that he wants more love and affection from us, we can just like be really dismissive and like forget Kay's in the relationship sometimes and then we're like, oh.

My god, k like yeah, pick up the slack kind of builds forts for us, and he like he buys things and drives us around.

Okay, here's my take on polyamorous relationships. Okay, everyone's like.

Be careful, you're walking into public scrutiny. Now, you know how hard it is to be us.

Yeah. I just like looked into the camera and had an excize how many people are talking. Yeah, okay, so people are like they can't work. It's like, oh, it's like that shit.

Yeah, there are a lot of people who are like that shit.

Yeah. Yeah, Like I feel like a lot of people. I feel like after thirty, all of a sudden, like people just have the urge to become polyamorous now, but like before that, most people are pretty skeptical of it. Yeah, and I've heard people just be like, no, that shit can't work, Like if you have like seven people, like fucking yeah. But look at us right, like we're we're a perfect example of how polyamory can work.

And it could be beautiful.

But my real, my real, like thing is that what like ninety eight percent of monogamous relationships fail, Like what are we comparing that to ninety of every relationship?

But then I guess you're not you're not taking into account of like how much how much research has there actually been about like the longevity of polyamorous.

Or relationships or phone No one was ever meant to be in a relationship. We were all just meant to like have sex and make babies and then move on. But like, I'm not disagreeing with it. I think it's really cute to be in love. But I think polyamory is like biologically like what we were supposed to do. I agree with it, but I genuine yourself for right now in my life, I used to be like, oh, yeah, I could be like poly like of course, like I

Her, Yeah I don't. I like, okay, two things is like I think, like I think it's done for anybody to like look at any kind of like relationship like structure and be like, oh that shit doesn't make sense. Fuck that, Like it's stupid, it doesn't work, because I genuinely do think like every single person you meet, like even your closest friends, like the deeper you get into it, like within your friendships. I think you find that like everybody has such a specific way about in which they

I'm not somebody.

Partake and like, yeah, I'm not someone who could be like a dirty little slut like Drew. It's like disgusting, Like.

Yeah, and Drew ship a whole. I'm literally trying to like have as much sex as.

Possible, see, and I can't do that, Like I'm just like I genuinely like I physically can't get myself to do that, because I'm just not someone who, like, at the end of the day, is that interested in sex. Actually, that's literally a line. I'm so horny.

Every rose literally does have its thorns.

Oh my god, he said this yesterday.

I'm gonna shove your mic up your ass and it's gonna come out your mouth, and I'm gonna put you on a fucking fire like a little skewer.

I would actually love that.

I'm going to watch.

Or are you gonna watch?

I'm just gonna.

Watch pants on or off.

They will start on and then they will come off about three minutes in.

Oh well, I forgot the super serious thing I was trying to say because Drew literally interrupted me by yelling.

Something so important.

I was like, totally, it's so crazy, like being up here and seeing it happen, or like you like talking about like expressing something, and then Drew just screaming, I'm a whore.

Like just to break it. But basically I always saying, like, I think the same thing goes in with polyamory. I'm sure there's people who are a part of polyamorous situations and like do have tinges of believing in monogamy, but like it's just everybody is there on their own spectrum of like where they fall. So like being like polyamory doesn't fucking work is so stupid because it really does

We're just animals on a spinning rock floating in outer space at terminal velocity.

That's literally every thirteen year old who refuses to do that.

That's ironically now, Like I literally like think about that sometimes and it freaks me the funk out, but it is grounding.

I'm like, what what's your guys' body count?

Oh my god?

Later they actually on. Ironically, I don't know, it's like that's not enough. Yeah, when I go back to Texas. When I go back to Texas, I literally turn up. Turn the fuck up. You turn like literally.

Literally turns the fuck up. He turns it out.

I will actually send you a detailed account of every time I hook up with someone if you want.

Me to do that for Yes, why I got to be a part of that.

You can be a part of it too. Yeah, I just asked the body count question.

I always ask the body count.

The emergency we have the emergency intercom group chat, and then we have Drew's body count.

You should discord for us, No, we're only you can talk discord. Did not bring discord.

But yeah, I'll just give you a very detailed account of every I mean, there was one recently that I had to tell you about. Yeah, that was just crazy. I told you about it.

That one was what then was I gonna say?

Well?

There were two?

Actually I always brings up guy always brings up body count. And literally when I met you, I thought you were a fucking slut. But that's because I think every man is a slut, and I do believe.

All Right, we're gonna photo. You actually look so fucking sexy.

I know, I'm like a sexy hot That is the.

Sexiest man I've ever seen such a man photo, I know, and.

I look good as when I saw I'm not this is like actually airing myself out. But when I saw this photo, it turned me on. Do you ever see yourself and you see it like the time, like damn.

All the time when for the most part, when I'm looking in the mirror, I'm like, damn, I'm so hot. And I immediately turned around and I want to cry because I'm like, I can't believe what I just fucking witnessed.

But Drew Moji coming soon, like and share tech.

Notes, You've said that forever Drew Moji is coming as soon as like You've also been like I'm gonna get a Tesla for like eight years, Like can I fucking live?

I cannot live around anybody anymore. I'm busting out the notes already, girls, girls, two types of people in the world, those guys bagel bites and those who like pizza.

But they supposed to prepare for this.

What no like notes? Why are you on?

Like You're like literally out of a hole right now? You're like freaking out.

Oh should we talk about that? Do you want to talk about that a little bit? Yeah, sure, you're ketamine treatments. I don't know if that's like private to you, but no, Yeah, I'm down. That ship is so fascinating to me, and I'm sure someone out there will really love it or relate to it.

Yeah, this was our first conversation ever was basically like I also think about this, like when we first started talking, I think about the fact that like, somehow, within thirty seconds we were just both talking about being violently depressed.

No, it's I've said this before. Literally, people have orias and energy so that you can trust and like you're a very trusting person, and I feel like I have the same trusting orga like look at me, I.

Do kill I also think because during the time we met you, literally it was in twenty nineteen, like earlier in the year of twenty nineteen, and that is when I was literally so depressed. That's all I would talk about. Like, that's all I talked about, is like, it's so fucking sad.

Yeah, So what we essentially talked about is, uh, when I turned like fourteen, I just felt like I was getting very chemically depressed, like the type of shit where you wake up in the morning you're like, oh wow, like this is gonna be a fucking very hard day.

But ma, you're forty seven right now?

Yeah what Yeah, I'm forty seven.

Oh that's kind of you look really good for forty seven, thank you. Yeah, you look really good for unless you're lying and you're like actually like twenty seven. Because if that's the case, then you look really bad for seven.

They can move on. But yeah, So when I was like twenty four, I I was like, I don't know what else to do. I had never done a psychedelic drug. I had never like I was very much I had heard of ketamine, but I had never like I was like very skeptical of it. I just kind of felt like, how can this drug that like gabbers in like London and do at raves like help you with your depression and.

It gives you crystals and your bladder.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And my parents were just like, well, if you want to do this, like we'll support you. And I'm really fucking lucky to have parents that have stuck with me over like a total like fifteen years at this point, trying everything and supporting me through this. And I did it, and I was really skeptical of it. I was skeptical to say whether or not it worked until like a year after I started it.

But damn at those new treatments.

Is that like I don't know, I think it was like twelve or thirteen damn. Yeah.

Were you getta get like once a month?

Yeah, it was like once a month that you go in and it's like two doctors, you talk to them for like thirty minutes, and then you get an intramuscular injection of it, and it's like basically what people do when they makes me into k hole. I think they're doing like a fraction of what they inject you with. And also you metabolize it really fucking quickly.

So you're doing like it's like a k hole.

Times a thousand, like like credulous. You really like destroys your sense of ego within, Like you go from one minute of being completely sober to like minute three of questioning if I'm me or if I'm my dad, Like I truly don't know.

Dude, that's so scary. Yeah, that would fuck me up forever. I don't know if I could ever do that.

Also, to preface this, because I don't want any of y'all watching this to be like, oh my god, that's awesome. I'm gonna go do like street kenemye. This is like all medical grade. Yeah, this is all like medical grade, like going into by doctor. Yeah, we're seen by doctors. Like it's very like medically advised. Yeah. I just don't want I don't I don't want any.

Of you don't want the ketymine rats. We don't need ketmine rats.

Street Keademine is also like not pure keademy Yeah, it's like angus fall. And there's also two different types of ketamene, And one of them is like actually better from neurogenesis and like growing your brain and whatever. The other one is like I don't think.

And you started taking it. Also because you heard that it grows your balls too, right.

Oh yeah, yeah, it grows your balls. Yeah, so now my balls are really big.

Yeah in the morning he has to like you know why, we don't have to know, just like I just keep going because I'm gonna get.

Poly vibes. But yeah, so I was really skeptical of it. I was really skeptical of any psychedelics in general because I was just like honestly just fucking afraid of like all of the horror stories that you hear growing up. But yeah, like after a year, I essentially I can look back at that time of when I started the treatment, and so much of my life is better. I can't. I will never say like this is for everyone, because I don't know.

It's it's just like some people have like super good experiences.

Some people like experiences.

Some people get super horny on Will Buttrin and are able to have an infinite When I was on Will Buttrin, my penis essentially fell off. So it's very different.

It's really weird down there now.

Yeah, it's super weird.

It's beautiful. What is like the average session look like that's like interesting, Like.

It's like three hours and you go in you talk about your intentions about like what you've been struggling with.

So it's like an intentions thing.

Yeah, and then you get the injection and yeah, you slip into a completely different dimension that I don't. I feel like if I try to explain it, it might be really abstract and honestly, give okay. It feels like like the first time I did it, it felt like I was being pressed in between the pages of a book, and every page was like a different universe, and I was like moving between each of these different universes.

I had, like wead ship, I was gonna say, because I've literally had a like a read and do psychosist that literally feels like flipping through pages of a book, but in like a really bad way. Yeah, and like a way where I'm like I had that too, or like traumatizing. Yeah, I had like I don't know who I am. Like I've had to ask people.

Ego death or close to ego death experience mine, give me, I can't go together?

Isn't real if you if you no, you can, you can?

You can you can end that That was that was actually that was the.

Death isn't technically real because if you experienced ego death, your ego wouldn't be there to be active after the fact. To explain that you had ego death, Well, I came out kind of logical, that does make sense.

I came out with bigger boobs after my psychosis though, oh really, yeah, one was heavier than the other. So I had to induce myself in psychosis again from weeds so that they could even app out. Yeah, they're still a little uneven, but like you.

Know that, that's really cool. But yeah, yeah, sometimes sometimes the experience is really like obtuse and really hard to like grasp. And sometimes it's very clear, like I had.

What the universe is trying to tell you to do.

Yeah, like I had this this really visceral experience of like doing it. And then all of a sudden, I was just in a room and I was in like my childhood bedroom, and I was playing Toontown and I was standing behind myself, like playing Toontown like as an adult, and I was.

Like that you should play Tunetown as an adult, and I was.

Like, I need to get back in the tune town and you rotted your life. Yeah no, But I was just like observing myself as a child and just like seeing how much pain I was in. And I think like that is kind of like an overarching theme of the treatment of just opening yourself up to like a sense of empathy towards yourself. If that makes sense.

Yeah, No, it does make sense, because I think like that's why therapy was like good for me. But that's obviously a different experience because that's like literally vocalizing it. But I think about like, oh, I'm sure being like medically induced into this position where you are vulnerable and you don't have a choice of being vulnerable with yourself.

Yeah, I think that's that's when you get re into like a cyclical spiral depression where you're like behavior your behavior is wrong. So then you're like, life gets kind of worse. You're waking up like you're eating shitty, so you feel bad about eating shitty.

Yeah, and it's just like digs you deeper.

Yeah, when you get really like ten years into that process. For me, I didn't know how to get out of it. I had no clue. I did the research, but like every time the Internet, yeah, this was pre this was in the eighties.

The way that I was kind of like, oh my god.

It was when you said that, I don't know why. I was just like, yeah, it was pre internet.

It was oh, we're not recording.

Oh my god, give me with my own joke.

Eh.

Look, I just have nothing to add to this conversation. So I'm just sitting over here in my own head being like, oh my god, like I don't even know who I am. So y'all are triggering me.

Well, I'm sorry that. I'm sorry that our self exploration and self growth that we've taken on is harming you. Like you're you're just like you're gaslighting us, threatening, Yeah, you're gaslighting us. It's feeling bad for feeling good about ourselves.

I know where both of your families live.

You could not say my family's address if your life depended on it.

But I know where they live and I am capable.

Yeah, I'm sure you spent like ten days in Miami. You can maybe figure it out.

I'm a killer.

The killer is here.

I'm a killer. You're gonna die soon?

Do you think you walk out of every academy?

Drew the other day it was like I had this really morbid time. It's really really bad, but I don't want to ruin the five And I was like, dude, just fucking say it. Got it out of your system, like you have to process this like whatever. And he was like, our group's so big, and I just feel like there's no way that all of us make it. I was like, what the fuck? Like we were on our way to the aquarium to go look at fish and then I'm not kidding.

I think about that actually all the time, but more so recently, I've really felt like I'm gonna die soon, like really recently, Like I'm not kidding and I'm not being dramatic. Every time I say bye to people, I'm like, oh, I got to get in like and I love you because like they're gonna remember me. And then I'm like, oh, like, I have to like make sure that, like I just like say a proper goal.

Three nights ago, you didn't say I love you before bad I always say it.

I stayed in the hallway.

Oh yeah, and I did not forget it.

But also I say good night every year.

So I didn't say it.

So do you I know you did it?

Do you kind of feel like something big is coming?

Is about to literally coming?

I figured out what the big thing is. It's me being on the podcast. You know it's me.

Well, I guess it is a big, bad thing.

So yeah, you're right, the ultimate big thing is me heeling over. But if I actually do okay, if I do die legitimately, I want a funeral world tour. Have I talked about that before?

What you talked about?

This in a casket in fly me across the world to different stadiums and tour my fucking body. I will be the first.

And we're going across these with him. We're going to Milan.

Yeah, fashion fucking runway for why.

Is that giving the same energy as that insane Michael Jackson video.

You know that's me and Drew? Yeah, me and Drew, Like we were only going up we only need to like we need to just like make enough money off of this so that we can become like the most like out of world performers ever. Like that's like my plan is, like we're gonna do live podcasts, but like you're gonna expect us to sit, but we're gonna dance.

We're gonna be fucking floating above the stage. Legitimately, it's gonna be Righteous jim Stones Tour, but like and I'm like literally floating.

But yeah, recently I've been feeling like I'm gonna die. I don't know why. I'm just like, you know what I think it is. I've been on too many planes recently, and I'm like, I'm really upping the chances of me being on a fatal flight. And like you think you're funny. I've been looking at it the whole time, Yeah, because usually I would look at your boner, but it's blocking it.

You guys saw that. You guys saw that.

Saw what you also before anybody comments on my outfit, like I know everyone is having a key saying I look like Catholics, like, but I'm in my Friendly Boys era, I'm just like.

Oh my god, Okay, are you are you chasing pleasure.

Oh interesting, I'm in the middle. I am probably. I think I used to be chasing pleasure a lot more thinking that it would bring me peace. But in the last like six months, I feel like I've been better at evaluating what peace actually is for me. But I'm not fully there yet. Like I think I'm like three quarters of the way of being like no, not even that, I'm like a quarter of the way to actually chasing it successfully. But I'm still mostly chasing pleasure chasing peace.

I double my game plan, y'all know my game plan.

Yeah, I double them both. I think I need to take up more sessions of therapy so that it can be closer to piece again, because I haven't been talking to my therapists enough.

The past two weeks were scary for me. But I'm coming back around. I'm coming three weeks and I'm coming back around three weeks.

Yeah, Mexico hurt.

You just pre Mexico, I just was like in a bad place, oh mentally, I and no one seems to notice.

That's the craziest thing about the craziest thing is everybody notices. It's all anybody talking about.

When I'm in a bad place. And no one seems to ask Drew, how are you? How are you doing? It's always because can we go here? Can we do this? Is Drew? Can you buy this for me? Both?

No one has ever asked you to go anywhere. You don't have a car. Where are you taking anyone to hell?

I honestly do you ask her to buy me things all the time? And he does spoil me sometimes.

I spoiled them again. I'm getting them a burkey.

Yes, you're getting guy of burking back.

Baby wants green one green green green bookie.

Baby wants a little green burkey inwood bookie.

Yeah owl Gato Squint.

Still recording.

Okay, well this is awkward.

Now because you like, why did y'all do that? It went on for so fucking long because it was real.

You're fucking jealous of us what we have.

You're just you're not in a baby daddy relationship.

I don't have anything else to say to you fucking freaks. Oh yeah, I didn't even finish my thought.

I'm in podcast has been fifteen minutes long. Like we've been talking for like eight minutes.

And every time we like talk on here, I get freak dug because I'm like I can never tell if I'm talking for five minutes or like three hours, but I could go on forever. Oh. Also, we did not watch Being John Malcolmic, like not even like close, like we watched I watched like three other movies and it didn't even cross my mind. But we'll we'll bring it up next week, and then next week we'll be like, oh my god, we still haven't watch it.

Sorry, like it's just such a hard movie to watch. And Wrequiem for a Dream is Yeah, I have I.

Have some notes.

Okauly, your time.

Is on camera, so you better have You don't have like sex coming up?

I don't have. I don't have sex on my phone right now? Do you think I have like porn on my phone during the podcast?

Yeah?

Yeah, okay, I have a note that says we have Jester's privilege. Do you guys know what that is? Oh?

Yeah, where you can like our friend Jester nor you can say and then get away with it because no one cares what you're saying, because you've never said in your life.

I say real things all the time on this podcast. I'm saying important. I'm serving politics, I'm serving news, I'm serving That's a good joke.

That's a good joke because she's always, she's always.

That's it for your note.

No, I have I have other ones, Drew. When are you gonna let me hit?

Oh my god, baby.

After this?

Maybe not after Oh my god.

I actually love it when you play games with me. Maybe sometimes I come over and I just feel like I'm a little ball of yarn and you're like a cat and you're just like pawing me around.

Yeah no, that's ex exactly what's happening. I mean, buy me something nice, Okay, treat me.

I'll buy you something. I'll buy you some ethereum eth. Yeah.

So oh I'm sorry. Yeah, let me fucking let me. Let me say something. Y'all are literally sexting. You're being fucking sluts on camera, Like, get a grip, have some self respect.

You're both going to Jealousy is coming out, girl, This polyamorous relationship is not gonna work if you keep getting jealous of me.

I don't give a fuck. I actually don't give a fuck about that. Break Up with me, Oh, break up with me, break up with me. You're not gonna do it, fuck you bitch.

Okay, Yeah, we're dying.

We're dumb. Okay, that's relationship is now a.

Monogamous if I if I ever get broken up with I've said this before, but like, I'm gonna just keep playing the motherfucker just despite them, like break up with me, like I'm gonna lie, Like I'm literally gonna lie and make you look like a cheeter sod. You want to break up with me? And you know what's funny is I always get dumped, Like I'm always the dumpy. I'm always getting dumped. Yeah, I don't. I've never broken up

It's like, oh my gosh, oh you are the common denominator in that situation.

That's very surprising. I wouldn't have assumed that that.

She gets dumb. Oh I get dumb is like in love and will like stick out a toxic relationship until the end of time.

If she had, I'm like, I can fix you, go back, you can fix us.

Are you not begging for us to come back?

Yeah, because y'all are fucking sluts and you'll be here no matter what I could. I could fucking do whatever I want.

To y'all ran through.

Yeah, y'aller ran through your sluts.

I am ran through and I run through.

I run through meadows and I pray to Jesus and I with your other notes, you had like twenty there, and he's like, insecure, I'm not gonna lie.

I've been No, I don't want you to read them because I feel like they're kind of dope.

I'll read them. No, I won't make fun of you.

Okay, okay. Before Google, it really meant something to know something, Like before you could google something, it was actually like if somebody had a piece of knowledge about like whatever, like for example, in a style of like knitting, like that, you really had to go and seek out that person.

And now you could just watch you TikTok and like seconds and like.

There used to really be a wait in having knowledge and like passing that on to somebody else, And now that's like gone.

Yeah, I feel the burden of that leaving because I am the last with the knowledge to get I'm like Google, if it was personified, Google personified, that's me, girl. There's a photo. There's a doppelganger of me as a shaman. It's the scariest thing I've ever seen, Well insert it now.

There's a doppelganger of me, but it's just every other Latina girl with like a wider face and brown eyes is my doppelganger. Like, I also look like every girl on the internet. You look like every other bitch. I literally do girl.

Someone called me the default human and actually fucked me up for like three weeks.

Oh. One of the best roasts I've ever received is I had some guys say that I look like a default Sims character.

I really doing.

It hit me pretty hard, and then.

Somebody was like, it's not many people look like default Sims, So you're kind of winning.

What the hell were we fucking talking about? Yeah, me being a fucking book of knowledge, And.

I was gonna have a fucking serious comment on that.

No, no, no, we can bring it back. Let's circle back.

But like, actually, also, I feel like now because like like knowledge like that is so attainable that more people are just like making a competition to know how to do random shit of like, oh I I also I know how to do this, this and that, And it's like nobody is really like catering to one thing and perfecting one simple craft. Instead, people are like, oh, like it's like quantity over quality now, Like I feel like

Like the one guy one jar or yeah, the one guy one jar guy, he only did that, Yeah, and he was good.

And the girl who at the tampon she ate her fucking tampon and.

Yeah, left. I am guilty of that though, because I've tampon. No, no, no, It's like doing a lot of things because I do like rendering three D rendering music production.

But that's all like nerd ship on the computer, like you're keeping it.

I'm just addicted to slang. Yeah, honestly, I.

Am a serbaholic. Like it's actually like I talked to my therapists all the time, you know what it is.

I auditioned, you know what I mean, And I actually do want to take the micro quick, just to talk about it. I can't leave the house without serving the boots holding the house.

Oh really, yeah, it's.

You're serving the boots and the house while you're leaving the house.

True. Is that hard? Is that hard for you? No?

I mean it's not easy. I wouldn't say it's.

No, I'm sure that's not easy.

Yeah, it's like really actually really fucking difficult to be addicted to serving, Like could you imagine?

No, Yeah, you know what it is is, I've personally dedicated my life to the sleigh, and every now and then I find like some like sometime to squeeze in a serve. Like I'm committed to the sleigh. Every day I do have to slay, whether that be like in a serve degree or not. But sometimes yeah, I at night, I'm like, you know what, it's my time to go and serve.

Serving to the degree of sleigh. Yeah, to the to the power of sleigh. It's given.

Sometimes I look at you and like, I I like refuse to believe that you're like a human who's made it this far.

Sometimes I genuinely look at you and I'm like, wait, that's like enough life.

What do you guys think when you look at me? What do you guys think when you.

Look absolutely nothing?

I want to feel your rock heart muscles and just like just hold you sometimes.

Really yeah, I think you need to.

Be held some.

We've we've both held given Kay a little hold.

Ye not enough, but it could be more.

Okay, we're not dating you free find a partner for that.

Kai No.

Literally me to Drew yesterday we were watching a movie and like this, like a person in the movie was getting like a lot of affection and Drew was like, why don't y'all do that to me? And I was like, bitch, because that's a partner's job, Like go get a partner. Oh, this is super dismissive of you, because it's like a sweet thing I'm saying to Drew. And I do love you and I don't want you to forget that I

Girl. We'll figure it out, We'll figure.

It out, We'll figure it out, we will figure it outther out.

But no, genuinely, I actually do believe that we're forever together no matter what we're in this I know, I think like on our own, we're not capable of doing this life, and we need each other as support as I think everybody needs.

Everybody needs their support. But like, I'm like, do you have get this is We've known each other for almost eight for eight years psycho, but I was thinking about that day. I was like, oh my god, no, because Drew's like Drew and Oriyan Like when I think about like my like really like deep future, I'm like, oh my god, Like these are people who I'm going to be like an old hag.

We're going to be raising our kids together.

And then Ki will like, well, you don't have that much left, you don't have that much time left. Kyle.

Oh Ryan proposed a very interesting idea last night that actually I was like, hmm. She was like, I'm not so let's just have one baby and we all raise it together.

Oh Ryan would fucking take the baby and run away, like I would not let us take that baby. We'd put that baby in the wrong shirt and Ryan would be so pissed you put it in a five absolutely color. If we put it in a two shirt.

Give me.

We put it in a gap shirt and she runs, she hits us.

You know, I've known Drew. I've known you for I think two or three years now three mm hmm, So that's like a long time. And maybe I also you will be.

Competing, you will be in our life for a long time. But I mean like like it's a very like it's like an integral like almost it's like a very animalistic like love that I have.

For Drew, where I'm like, this is like it's like a protection.

Like I think if someone hit me over the head, like I would still recognize Drew. Like if someone hit me over the head, it'd be like Drew and like my family and maybe like two other people who like if you put them in front of me, I'd be like, oh, like I remember. And if you start singing to me like in Cocoa, I remember, dude.

That being clipped is the most hor And everyone's like, what the fuck is this cracker saying?

I'm sure, I'll find my person.

You you have that, Yeah, you've found you have a place in our life forever.

Yeah you, I honestly and if you, if you tend to it.

To tie all of this together, I honestly do feel like so much of being a depressed little boy was like me being shut down and feeling like really sad that I wasn't going to find people that I was like, I wasn't gonna find that like really solid core group of friends. And I have like really great friends that

We love you, We love you to Okay, I'll take.

The foot, You'll take his fucking platform shoes anywhere so he can be taller.

These aren't I'm actually done. I'm fucking done with you.

You're not done, old, You're done. This is this is what friends are for.

You're trapped, You're here forever. That's the thing is is like from the outside, like the rest of people in Los Angeles probably see us as a literal fucking cult, like we're I feel like we're scary to other people.

It's just, you know what, we found love in a hopeless place.

And we stayed there.

But are.

No I did. I wrote that.

Sorry Dreus in his delusional phase because he's withdrawing, he's seeing things.

All right, guys, you want to do media of the week. I've always wanted to say that. How long have we been going?

I feel like we've been going for like eight minutes. Do you do you want to do media? You have media prepared?

No, but I will. I'll prepare while you guys do yours.

I want it.

I want it. Okay, I'll go, I'll go go.

Okay.

Movie Media was the movie totally. We watched it last night. Um, I really really enjoyed that movie. I could have done without all the weird mermaid shit, but literally, I've never rooted for sex to happen in a movie so much of my entire.

Watching that movie made me realize how fucking corny I am. Because that's the second piece of media that I've watched that I'm like really like pushing this narrative of like seeing people have sex, like in that Euphoria episode when they were in the hot tub and Shot. Okay, they were in a hot tub with Shot playing like are y'all knocking about? You're oh, you're knocking about?

Like our bronzins weren't gonna vibrate.

Yeah, my bronzon was literally like sounding the alarm and like Hooter. The nerves were banging out my clips, so it was thumping.

It was like girl the Cooter Bronson. Okay, my music of the week is Buttons VI Sia.

You got me pushing imaginary school children stuff away from me.

I'm sorry that sounded so good.

Continue that was actually my song, and I tricked you into believing it was a song to a song, it's like a really like infamous a song infamous it was. It's a famous song.

It was infamous.

It's like when you're famous, but it's not for bad reason.

Oh I always say infamous.

Uh less talk more rock by Freeze pop classic, that's a classic. And then yeah yeah by Body Rocks.

Okay, I was listening to that my.

Indie slee ship. Yeah, I'm sleezed out.

Well. My media of the week is for a movie Jackass Forever. Watching that literally made me so fucking happy we did it. Like, we didn't talk about this in the last episode, right, No, because we hadn't seen it yet when we did the last episode, I don't know, because we saw the movie on Friday, so we did not talk about it. But I seeing that movie literally

My media of the week is porn.

The fucking turn it off because I'm gonna beat the shad of you.

Okay, yeah, it's porn.

Come on, like, come on, be real. This is this is your place to be vulnerable in front of people who will scognize you and being able to you.

This is the new ketamine treatment podcasts, oh ship. It forces you to look at yourself.

Its you to figure yourself.

Okay. My media for music is fifty to fifty by Jockstrap. Very good song in a very cursed way, but it's good. Also, have you guys heard of Jockstrap?

No?

I didn't even I had never heard of them, but that is the most eclectic collection of sounds I've ever heard. Like that song is so different from like the next one down on their most popular and the next one down is like it sounds like old show tunes, like someone like rapping over show tunes. It's really weird. But that song is very good. And then the Yeat album Yeah, Yes, we go back, We go back what we were talking about like a year ago at least even longer. Yeah, dude,

Okay, I'm done, Like I can.

What do you mean you're done?

You need one more song?

One more song? Yeah, you don't actually have to Sparks by cold Play. Unironically, I have been listening.

It's really good, a good album. It was randomly playing somewhere. I was, oh in Mexico. It was playing in a random cafe I was in with a friend, and I was like, I can't believe they're playing this. They were playing the album front two back, and I was like, this is really interesting because like not because it's cold Play playing in Mexico, but because why the fuck is someone playing that full album?

Yeah?

But yeah, I was like, really like depressing sad vibe.

But have you watched any movies or shows just porn?

Probably just porn VR like Oculus type.

I actually did try that recently.

That's just crazy VR porn.

Yeah.

Yeah, we did it in Josh's bed.

Yeah, we all did it together and I wasn't invited a real story, but it was actually no, and I'm not kidding.

I was in New York.

Yeah, you miss out on all the good stuff when you go.

I miss out on all the horny stuff. Yeah all right, Well, Kai, you haven't watched a movie.

Sorry, I honestly I haven't watched it.

Well, you watched Tony with us yesterday?

What did you think? Totally was really good. I watched that in twenty eighteen. I went to the grove alone and watched it and it was really sad and it was so cool to like watch it again with a group of people and be like, I have friends now, not alone.

Dude.

Actually, I'm sorry to like literally gloss over that sad ass comment. But fun fact is, because I can't get over this is totally is a movie that I saw the fucking preview for in like late twenty seventeen before it came out, when I saw a random other movie and I saw a trailer for it, and I was like, oh my god, this movie looks awesome, Like I need

Like Hi, she was like, she's an HBO Max log in now and I sent it. Within like ten seconds, I got the notification that it has been logged into like five devices and like one of them's in Florida.

You know, it's funny is that I haven't gotten You know?

What it is is I demand what I need out of this relationship, and you seem to be lacking that like ability to communicate what you need. And that doesn't fall on your partners, that falls on you. If you can't express what you need, it is not up to us to read your mind.

Actually that's literally what it is.

That is actually how I feel in relationships. And I'm like why, like why aren't you reading my mind? Taking care of me, tucking me in at.

Night, brush brushing my hair, brush me.

It sounds a lot like we need parental figures.

And not.

Yeah, yeah, same difference, literally, like yep, we won't get into that.

What is it?

Okay, Well, thank you so much for being on Kay, you're gonna quit I'm gonna replace you with Kai.

It was really easy, exciting.

So next week tune in, it'll just be me and Kai and Drew will be dead.

You're done, You're done. It's me now.

Actually, now you're threatening him, and I really don't fuck with I'm gonna beat the ship out of you.

No, no, you're out, You're I'm actually hell actually no, okay, I want to come back.

Okay, thank you. Yeah, you're done, you're out.

That I can give you the world and I can take it.

All right, Well, thank you guys for watching, Thank you Kai for being on. It was a sweet sleigh.

Yeah. Also, I don't think we like said who Kai was to us other than our friend. But he also like helps us with the podcast. He does like all the audio stuff and all the little edits and things. So yeah, try to us.

Yeah, I think people know.

Kay, do you want to shout anything out?

Pout?

All right? All right, bye, god bye