Orion's episode

The moment everyone has been begging for Merch is being released next week for our second year anniversary.

Time flies when you are sexy, young and free.

Take a look.

Let me know if you like anything. Actually, don't let me know.

I don't want to know. Didn't really have that?

I probably see No, I have a scer.

Oh really from what give your head last time?

Right?

Oh, to yourself because you went to your room alone and you fell asleep after giving yourself had.

Yeah, you know you guys a couple of ribs removed.

Yeah, wow, you have been looking really skinny.

Yeah, I have a snatched ways I got my ribs removed like Marilyn Manson.

Yeah, and it's actually really really special.

Is that real?

Did he actually do that?

No?

Yeah, that's why he's wearing that hoodie. It's like covering up.

You really, I'm covering it up with this hoodie. That is Emergency in Or Come Merch that is out July seventh.

Probably we have this too as well. We handmade this for the cut version.

Yes, my girls know me so. Yeah, so we had to get her right. Also, we did it intro. But welcome back to Emergency Intercom.

Long awaited guests, the most asked for person by a fucking landslide by Fleetwood Mac on the episode today, which is really crazy, o'rian.

They had to fight tooth and nail for this, I really did.

And you know what it is too is even I like, this is just annoying.

But I'm like, I don't want them to see how well we get long, like I know exactly, like you're getting too much of me right now and it's terrifying to be.

Perceived, So like keep that in line.

No, actually don't. Don't I need a reality chat? Yeah exactly at this point in my life, I need a major one.

Don't ask for that because to be funny, people will be like, okay, fine.

And I actually don't, like I actually don't mean that.

Once you finished watching this act like you've never seen Oryan and like you've never heard our voice exactly.

Yeah, thank you. Have you done a podcast before? Yeah you yeah I have. But like a were serious normal people asking me very like serious questions. So when even like thinking about this, I'm like fuck, Like.

Here I go like, okay, well I have a serious question for you. Okay, was that your first love?

Actually?

Why why does it always have to go here? Like Okay, no, go I want like, well, if.

I'm being honest and it might hurt your feelings.

No, okay, wow, it's oh god, I haven't wow and you don't understand actually no, no, no, if we're being realistic here, Drew low key was I.

Was going to bring that story up. I was going to bring that story up.

Okay, okay, oh wait, oh playlist or.

Or something.

Yeah, I got from your point of view.

Yeah, from my point of view, I only knew Drew from the online sphere and I never had met him in person, and he had walked in the room. We were all in like a hotel like party, and it was there weren't that many people. No, there was enough people to be embarrassed by the situation, but like it wasn't like filled to the brand.

Also, it was like the first time, like I have ever seen other people on the internet that I like kind of look up to. Like I walked into this room and I was like, holy shit, Like there's like Ricky and Denzel in here, and like blah blah blah blah blah, like these are people that I like love on the internet and you see on the internet, so fucking jar But.

Keep going anyway, Drew walked in and he's a new face. I hadn't seen him before, and you just looked so shy and so don't like and it was a precious moment to witness. And I turned to a friend and I said, oh, Drew's here, He's so cute, and like the friend in question wasn't a real friend for screaming at the top of her lungs. She like, Drew passed by and she screams, hey, Drew, O'Ryan thinks you're really

You're like ran.

No, I literally did ran.

And I'm like stuck in this position where I'm like, oh, no, no, I did not see.

You're not cute. You're not I don't think you're cute. You're ugly.

That's what I would say that no. And then Drew.

Left and she was like, y'all should make out, y'all should kiss right now in front of everybody, like kiss kiss, kissing, And.

He was obsessed with watching people cads.

Yes, And I was like in my head because I was like, oh, I've never been in this space before, like I'm like petrified, and then I walk in and I'm immediately like in my head being made fun of.

A girl calls out.

Then I invited her to my room later, but we won't.

Talk about that about Oh y'all, Okay, Well, I don't want to know.

The less I know, the better it was.

It was sweet, it was simment. It was like something that's kept between us for a reason.

I mean, now it's not between y'all.

I mean, was it that?

So it's probably just like like at a necessity, like human nature.

It's not even like emotional.

When was the first time we all met?

I don't remember the first time we hung out.

I don't either in La like y'all. I remember, there was like a.

Moment I remember for first time hanging out in La like that I remember, but like the very first time we met, I could not even tell you.

I couldn't tell you.

I think we were just in such different worlds. Yeah, and even it was probably in a similar situation, like we were in a group of a bunch of people passing like high Hello. The reason why I don't remember is probably because it's not as traumatizing as like my brain at this point only like remembers the horrible or the really good things.

Yeah, I remember the first time we like had a moment where we were like, oh my god, we're like gonna be fri.

It was so good. It's because and I think it is especially good because we didn't like really know each other.

Yeah, because we were.

Being put in We were all on a social media tour when we were younger, and me and O'Ryan started being put in rooms together. But even then we would not interact. I don't even remember, like and it's not even like I was like I don't want to.

Be friends with this girl.

It was literally just you just had your group of friends. I had my group of friends, and it was just the convenience of us staying the same.

It was just the two girls.

It was just the two the.

Two girls on tours, like they're getting.

Their room, like, oh, you're a girl, you're a girl, Like y'all will get.

Along, And we did accidentally by kiss met Drew left tour.

Yeah you like when you quit, And so it was Nie and.

I were there left, and I remember we were it was like three in the morning. We were both in our separate beds and we had like our backs turned from each other, like keep in mind, like we didn't.

Really know we like literally I we hadn't. I don't think we had ever.

It was like college roommates.

The one time we had spoken before that was when we took that god awful fucking picture because we found out it was going to bring up Durham and we were like, oh my god, like I don't have any girl. And it's literally like saying on TikTok like cannon event. That was our canonicture.

It was like we just met at the stairwells, took a photo, and then it was like hey bye see yeah, but like.

I was gonna say, do you remember the fucking picture of you and I? Like the first picture we took together and it's my giant, fucking nasty hair, Like.

Gross, I remember I remember that actually, Like I mean just like that trip. I don't really what city were we in.

I don't even literally don't know.

Like do you remember your last one? Like what city you're in at all?

Okay, well or or something like that.

Maybe I don't know, maybe.

It was Atlanta.

No, we literally all have brain fog because we were being like like like.

Baby fed alcohol exactly.

That was like our college experience literally but a yeah, and I we I was like crying because I was like in a relationship and the person I was dating was being really fucking mean to me.

Scary, scary, terrifying.

It was.

It was like actually purgatory for me. So I was silently crying because throughout that entire relationship, let's actually just start. I was silently crying and I hear like Enya also silently crying, and I like turn around and she's like crying into her pillow and I'm also crying into my pillow, and I just like I think I said something. First, I turned to you and I was like, are you crying? Yeah? Then she's like yeah, and then I just like got up and went to her bed and like held her.

Yeah.

I literally just know each other. We didn't know each other, and we just sat there and cried together, and it.

Was like, I'm so fucking so that is literally.

So fun is at the time, I was like not an emotionally open person, Like I didn't even cry to you about it.

When you left, like I acted all chill. I was like.

Bye, like dude, Ice, Yeah, I wasn't emotionally available, and I fucking sobbed on the way to the airport. I think it was like New Jersey or something, because like it was it was because I was with Jake and Dana and I was sobbing in the back seat of the car and they were in the front seat like giving like side eyes to me, because like a grown man is crying in.

The backseat of this car right now, it's like, hell awkward.

And I was a good drown man seventeen. Well he's still sixteen. Yeah, well you just turned seventeen.

Yeah, exactly, exactly.

But no, it was like that was like the first time I was emotionally available too. But I think it was like a New Jersey.

That makes sense because also, you know what's funny is I just remembered thinking about this.

I remember the next morning we did.

Start talking because we started telling each other why we were crying, and you were explaining your whole situation. I mean, you were talking about moving to l A because that was before you moved to LA and you were like, yeah, I don't know, like I don't know if I want to do that move. And I was just like I'm going to do that move, like sooner than later, and we were just like yeah, and we were really talking about it because I had just started.

Seeing someone at the time, so I was like telling you.

About that, but I just we were getting oh, because you said I was crying over you because since I wasn't going to see you, I want to get to see your mom stinky.

Yeah, I would get to have sex.

Like, yeah, it's funny because you just said you were a grown man sobbing in the back of a car with two other people.

I got bitch, see I probably and I got.

Yeah, I she got wet and it could have escalated control.

This is why.

See, this is why men don't cry and shouldn't cry. Because I cried and it was embarrassing.

Yeah, it's funny. You consider yourself a man?

Oh wow, I was. I was a man last night. I was a man last night.

It's funny because I thought you were a man, but you're just a little boy.

And hunger herds like, oh, hunger does hurt?

Should we talk about those little escapades a little bit, not into detail, but the pch moments oh our vibes?

Yeah, but I'm like, what is there to discuss other like crying?

Crying despair driving up pH Listen.

We literally made all three of us so much closer and also, like me and a Ryan, I feel like without COVID would not be this close.

Yeah, we were, we were hanging out consistently, but I think there was like this emotional level that we couldn't break past because there was just, honestly, just how much things surrounding it. There was like shame and fear and it was just like awkward. Yeah, and we also, I mean I've had really close female friendships before, but I had hadn't. Yeah, so it was like navigating Trying to navigate that with you was honestly it was hard. But then like you came around.

You know what it was too.

I think, Yeah, it's just I didn't have a lot of I don't I still don't have a lot of close like female relationship are definitely the most intimate female relationship I have.

In my life.

Neither do it and yeah, because you get no bitches that's like separates besides the boy.

But yeah, I think it's because of that. It's just I didn't know how to do it.

Also, I don't think I was like super emotionally open with the whole friend group like anybody, Yeah, until like late twenty nineteen, early twenty twenty, because I just had reached a point where, like I was going to therapy so.

Much I could talk. Also, I was like a fucking annoying.

Bitch, Like you didn't you literally couldn't.

Talk to me about anything without being like, actually.

Yeah, you had it right.

Yeah.

Literally, like I was just kind of an annoying brat and.

Then life happened, and that's what happened.

I do feel like I am probably the only person in your life that can like argue against.

Oh my god, I literally can't. I know what you're talking about. We have to bring it up. We have to bring it up.

But that will argue against you, but you'll like actually listen to me, yeah, like more so, but so.

No literally, so like we went to Texas like for Easter to like see my family, and like we got a hotel room and we were just like there's nothing

I'm not gonna mention, like it was literally just semantics.

Yeah, it was like it like it was solved with a Google search. But even the Google search proved that Enya had to be right.

It was I still am like I'm right, but that's okay.

We like know, we moved on.

We moved on.

But they were fighting like I've never seen anybody in their group like literally debating.

We like that.

It was genuinely like you would have swore one of us was gonna walk away with.

A nob something about me, Like I literally like debates.

Like walking with his head down behind us, Like really, like so small was you felt so small?

It was insane crazy and like.

Trying not to laugh throughout the whole thing because like I'm like, who were you?

I was laughing, Yeah, you were like you was so uncomfortable right now, and I was like, I was so scared.

Girls are also why we were like, wait, okay, we gotta cut this, because freaking.

Making our child in the.

Car uncomfortable to choose between which divorced parents will go with no, no. But genuinely, it was for me so comical that I kept laughing because Drew's in the corner of like my left eye, like like a sad puppy, and Ennya's on this side like debating me. And then eventually y'all.

Are like master debaters. Though like y'all are like really good at master debating.

You have like two people who have like such strong opinions who think they're like moral, like their morals will change the zeitgeist of the fucking crazy.

It was really crazy, and like it.

Was exactly, like exactly.

No.

Literally, when you get two dumb bitches in the room saying exactly to each other, is.

Like no, literally no, no, That's what I did say this whole time. Ye like, and I'm so glad you met me there, because like I was here and where were you?

And you're not rying could be the most wrong about something anybody has ever been wrong about, and if one of them agrees with them, it's they're the right person, the right.

And we're gonna agree at this point, we are going to agree. There was a time where I was.

Like like no, just like no, but.

But I've taken her moral cus and matched it to my moral compass, and even if you put the two together, it still wouldn't be right. No, no, no, like it is though.

No, it is like I'm on ironically some of the ship, like y'all like are wrong right about I'm like, no, like y'all are right about but it's probably because y'all have skewed my moral compass as well, but like put it.

On paper from only my perspective and then we're all like, yes, yes, that is so true. But that's I think that's the only like real argument we've gotten into. Yeah, and it wasn't even real head's over other ship, but like we never argued over it.

It was just like, like I will say, like, one thing I really love about our dynamic is that there isn't room for arguing. Like if I'm upset, you will text me like a dissertation to be like I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry, or like vice versa, yeah, or like I can't even get to the point of arguing because it's like, what's the fucking point.

Y'all are communicators?

Yeah, we're women.

What'd you say? We are? Master Bay?

Yeah?

Master debaters.

Yeah, minus the d Yeah, exactly. Whoa the wing girls. Let's talk about let's talk about the wing Ba. Like the creator of Wingba is.

Here, founder of Yeah. I don't know how it happened, but it just did. It felt right, you know.

Like it's literally because I went to your house one day and I saw it and I was like, I literally have that.

And then You're like, oh, my wing Ba and I was like, that's what you call that.

I was like, let me give you the full name. It's Wingbot two in your three thousand. Yeah. Yeah, And I haven't shied away from her since I haven't gone strong yeah literally twenty seventeen. Yeah, No, she's like built, I have another travel she has like a buddy.

And used that what's her name she doesn't have.

Her name isra And.

With Josie we were like in the car trying to almost explain that, and it probably sounds like the craziest audio.

Wait, like the whole, like the whole.

We didn't go into it, but we were just like, well, Manama, Sandra started dating Winglee and then that was a problem because she was with Pilot Jones a lot.

She was dating Mamma Bertram.

No, No, Mama Bram and Pilot Jones are dating.

Yeah, but then Pilot Jones got with Manama Sandra.

Okay, but let's talk about Harley Davidson being a home wrecord, Like that's the Harley Dadavis.

I don't really talk about her that much.

Yeah, she's happened when we talk about her.

Actually, you know, I don't ever talk about Harley. Yeah, it's just like that's like she like lives in your world. But like I respect.

Her, yeah, and I brought her in and like I really regret it, like she's really talkic.

Yeah yeah, I mean that's probably we might have to kill away. Yeah, well you have to say.

I was just going to talk about, uh so, like, did y'all ever have teachers that y'all thought were like extremely hot, like really really okay? Like specifically, was it a history teacher with those goddamn kakis and bulging the fuck out because.

They knew what they were doing. They were pervy, bro, They're pervs.

They do that ship on purpose, like they know their bulge looks fucking great.

And they like the basketball coach, yes, or like the mine was the baseball No, mine was the basketball coach. The other one was the baseball coach. But like I, it was real, it was visceral, and I loved them.

They're also always too nice and we need to like put them in jail.

Now.

I actually agree with that because one, Oh my god, I had a lot of weird experience with like male teachers. Actually yeah, Like I had a math teacher who he was like it was like airport syndrome where he wasn't hot, but like he's the hottest person at the school by proxy bike because he's you know, a man, and but it wasn't weird like that let me step away. But he would let me cheat on all my math tests. I'm so bad at maths, so like he would let

You were a child.

You were a child him on on a social media platform and he never followed me back. But I never said anything about it. But the day before graduation, I was like walking to my car and he was just like, after graduation, I can follow you back. The day oh shit, sorry, the day of graduation, after I walked that fucking stage, followed me.

Oh my god.

Then the best part is a couple of years ago, I made a joke on Twitter is going to do Yeah, I know he's going to chill. Actually I made a joke on Twitter where I was like, uh, the best thing about I don't remember what it was, but it was something along the lines like the best thing about Twitter is I mean not Twitter. The best thing about Tinder is that you could get free dinner or something

I thought he was going to.

I just don't take this sea like he's still see even post high school.

No, soully no. But it was like in a way where he's just like respect men, because I take I take this serious and like I go here to find people and like whatever. And I was like, listen, it was a joke. And then he responds he was like, but for the record, i'd swipe right, hello bro, why not.

Like let me take you to dinner?

I had that's how you like win, like let me take you, let me take you to dinner.

That also doesn't sound right. I always to jail, but like but to like.

Like drill you about your joke and then be like, but for the record.

I would I'll take you.

I would yeah do that. And I don't know where he's at today. He's in jail. We need to find he's in federal prison.

We're going to find him on my Raya account one day.

Ya.

Yeah, I love playing, right.

That's like the best game ever is like to get on my Raya account, lay in a circle and we all giggle about the people on Raya.

Everybody everybody cheats these games, like these apps like a game.

It's not a game, literally what that man was saying, and we're.

Like yeah, and it is literally, like it's so funny, it's and like you.

Know what, Actually, at that time, I had no money, So yeah, I was going on Tinder to get free.

He was starving.

You genuinely had you were like, because you had.

I was still living in Georgia and my rent at the time was like I think, like three hundred dollars, but like all I was making at the time working at American was like three hundred dollars.

I was going to say, we need to talk about that era.

All of my money was going towards rent, and I didn't want to ask my parents for money because like they didn't have any fucking money to give me. So I went on Tinder and I that's such a way to say. I did actually tell a guy.

It's your little doggy bottom.

I did tell a guy. I was like, you know, like I am on this for dinner. And then he just like kind of laughed it off, and I like laughed it off and I didn't say anything, but because I was like being serious, I was I was starving.

I was like please very or shaking getting ready because you had it had your like proper meal.

I was broke and I lived with a roommate who was actually.

Say I was going to say, if we can talk about that, we can tell we can talk about it literally, we won't mention names, but like you.

Just literally fucking crazy I've ever heard, Like to preface the story, orian had like a nightmare fucking roommate and like I know what you think, like oh, like over dramatic, but like no, like y'all like literally psycho boots, like dangerous.

Like the killer behavior, but like behavior.

So I met this girl, Okay, I'm just like clearly, like I said, no moral compass because there were multiple reasons as to why I should not have moved in with her in the first place, and yet I still did it because I granted forgiveness. But I met her through an ex boyfriend he was dating or his roommate was dating her. Long story short, they broke up because she was lying about her age the whole time, Like he was like a grown man and she was lying

She had to do.

She was like so cool, and so eventually like that like I was no longer dating and that person. So I became friends with her, and it was this like strange way I felt like me becoming closer to her felt like I don't know. We both were dating roommates and they both broke up.

Yeah, so it was almost like you guys won something in the end.

Yeah exactly.

It's a TV show the two husbands leaving their wives for you love.

Yeah, I knowed it, yeah exactly. So it was like this gorgeous moment of this crazy person who I tried to look past their behaviors. And so she was at this time, like seventeen and I was like nineteen, and she told me. We like sat down for lunch a day and she's like, oh, can you my mom's coming, Like I got this guy to like get this lease on this house. Can you lied to my mom and say that you're moving in with me and that like you basically are on this lease. And I was like yeah, totally.

Oh deal.

As I'm moving in, it's my birthday. We're going out. I see this guy from across the room. I'm like in the most heartbroken state of my fucking life. I just like got over a devastating breakup and I see this guy who for the first time in a long time that was I ever tracked anyone else. And I was like this guy over here, and she's like, oh, I thought he was cute too, and like I wanted to get his number, and I was like, not on my fucking birthday, dude. But I'm also not going to

Why would you?

And we're just like yelling at each other, and then she convinces me, and I don't know if it's so much convincing me, because like I knew deep down that like this wasn't the case, but like I just wanted to forgive.

Her friend and you live with her, and it's like way easier to just be like whatever.

And she basically was the story being like he's doing this to us. Look at what he did to us, Like he's playing the both of us, Like this man is like terrorizing her lives. So I was like, okay, word. So I ended up moving and that was where it all goes downhill. And I don't know how I didn't.

Know that happened.

But before you moved, Yeah, I thought that you were already living there when that happened before I moved in.

Oh my god, the last thing you moved in was your vinyls.

Yeah.

Girl, she was working as American Apparel and she was famous on Tumblin all of yours and she was the Tumblr girl.

I am so jealous of the fact that you worked at American Apparel.

That is so sick. Such a lit like I mean, it was awful, but like it's.

Orally amazing, but like was it though? Like actually were you?

Were you a good worker a bad work both?

I was just saying, I mean to it, but let me finish a swimming story really quick. No, she's I'm trying to make this as short as possible, Like I am. Also, I heard that you said that I was a scorpio, which is blasting.

I know, I know, but see how I corrected myself immediately I used virgo. No, yeah, because after I go, oh, my fucking god, she's a virgo. She's gonna be so mad.

No, here's I. Yeah, that's trifling and that's blasphemous.

And why would you do.

Think if someone I had sex with.

I was like, oh, I want to have sex with the ride, and I was like, I.

Thought that the stars are pitting these two beautiful women against each other right now, like they're doing something demonic.

Yeah, it will.

Happen, it'll happen. Anyways, I have the ability to turn like the shortest story in the world into a fucking again dissertation. Because you're right, She like, I didn't have any friends period, so I was kind of her only friend. But I had other friends, so I would start hanging out with other people and she would get really upset and like text me and be like why didn't you invite me? Or like why aren't you Oh.

My god, she's literally the killing.

And like just became like really angry anytime I wouldn't involve her in things. So keep in mind, this is when we start going on this tour and I'm out of town. And she also she was just filthy. She let her dogs ship all over the house. She would leave like cereal bulls filled.

This is mad.

This is me talking about Josh.

It was humiliating. They invite someone over and there's dog shit on the floor and like a ferret running loose like and that fucking ferret would slip under my door in the middle of the night, like it didn't have a cage.

Jills really staying.

And she told me. I was like, I will move in if I could bring my cats, and she was like no, no, she was like, no, that's perfect, that's totally fine. I couldn't bring my cats. All of a sudden, she's allergic to cats, and I have to keep my cats in my room with the litteral like everything. All my cats are being locked in the room. A week later, her mother gives her mother like three cats that she found off the street, and so we have three other cats. Like it was I was living in a horderhouse. It

That's my favorite.

And like being.

Dound so bad that you don't have time to go just pick some shit up from Goodwill, you're busting open this girl's door.

The worst thing about it is I found out about the launderie because once she posted Instagram photos of her wearing my entree, like I followed, you dude, like literally mean safe. And two I came home and she, like I said, very filthy, would leave like dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and I'm just like using the bathroom and I'm like looking and I'm like, my panties are soiled on the ground right now, Like what.

Like I hadn't You're just lying?

You The thing is I hadn't. It was like nice laudree, like I had no business wearing lingerie in this like moment in time. And she was just like denied every part of it, like fully denied.

And then honestly, there's something so awesome about somebody living like that, because how.

Like at one nile she was like, I didn't know these were yours? They weren't. They were in my drawer.

Yeah, in the room that you broke it.

Down, I literally broke into God what else? She The day that I moved out, I went on I went on a live stream to talk about her, but I never said her name, and no one knew who I was living with, and like no one was really on this live stream, but she was clocked in. I don't know how the fuck she was clocked.

In, but back like did she's literally the killer keep going.

Up and no, you're fine, and she I had a friend over and Katie and I are in the room, like and I just hear the front door open and then the front door slam, and I hear her barging up the stairs, and I look at Katie and I'm like, this isn't good because I have no idea what she's about to yell let me about and she she does like she's like cointisential white woman where they when they get mad, they go can I talk to you for

Fucking stabbed you in sep.

And another reason why I don't feel bad for saying this because a year later she texted me and was like, I just wanted to reach out and apologize to you for everything I did. So I wasn't technically the bad guy for.

Saying anything money is going on.

She also was didn't have a study job, and so she was pocketing my rent money. She was pocketing my roommates rent money, and then was like asking us for more money being like, oh, we actually need like money for the security deposit.

Babe.

We've been in this house for six months. What do you mean we need the security right now?

Crazy, It's like, hey, the security deposit fell through, so we like need more.

And no, it was just to make sure it was absurd. Oh and one time when I was out of town on a press play, it was Halloween, she threw a Halloween party at her house and she invited over my ex boyfriend, who I was so devastated over, who she knew I was devastated over, and he came probably thinking, I mean for the hopes. I'm hoping that he thought that I would be there, but he went to our house.

But also, y'all have known each other for like, yeah, two days.

Yeah, it was also she literally went after somebody who you were actively seeing, Like that is so insane.

She's a marvel.

No, I'm I'm like, it's.

Literally like brave people who live that lifestyle and genuinely can do it fearlessly, are genuinely soldiers.

So I have the utmost respect for her in the craziest way because she has managed to live her life this way and like even like I moved to LA and a year and a half into moving, I get an email from someone who's living with her at the time being like, I live with blank and I need pointers. She told me all this about you. I believed it. Now she's doing the same shit to me and she's

Yeah, so insane.

Like I also, since we've lived together and with Josh, it's crazy. I'm never gonna have a crazy roommate story because oh that can.

Change, like that that will change.

Oh, you know what, It's funny that I said that behind your back.

I'm always like, I'm like my fucking roommate. Actually, it's not really wrong to call you my roommate.

But it doesn't feel when people are like my life partner that I live with.

No, I literally say I live with my friends. That's I can't say roommate.

It's disrespectful roommate, and then immediately go it's he's my best friend, but we live together my room.

That herd you found on your floor like two or three days ago, and we thought it was Les, Yeah, it was actually me shitting on your floor.

Oh why would you and you let me clean it? You watched me clean your ship, Yeah, because I was do for you to do that.

I just you didn't do anything. I just like get off on that. Like it's just like this thing.

She has this thing.

Yeah, yeah, he's so awesome.

He's perfect.

But there's one thing. There's this one he loves sitting on the floor watching ship. It's really trying.

I don't think I told you that. I woke up and Aol had pooped on my floor because the turd got stuck to her butt, and I think before she got on the bed, she like shook it off and then jumped on my bed, slept right next to my fucking head, and I had taken a bunch of night quill because I was like, I've been super sick and congested, so I went to go get off my bed and I wear slippers in the house, Thank fucking God, because

Like, does it though, because I.

Was selling anything. It's like immune to the smell of the litter up this way makes me sleep on the other side of the bed closest to the litter and I have to like sleep like that when.

You sleep in INA's room, like Azul for some reason takes the loudest, stinkiest, grossest ship.

Someone else is in the room.

Because when Sabrina was staying here, it was the first night I walked to go shower and Sabrina started freaking out because it started to smell so bad in my room because his little.

Just immediately the second I left the room ran into the litter box.

It took a big ship. Panic.

Yeah.

Literally, he's learning some traits from Drew exactly.

He watches his dad.

He gets some anxiety and he has to like let it out. How about this, well, she has scarlet fever.

Yeah, I literally have a scarlet fever golf Sorry sorry, sorry, sorry, right sorry. Thing like that is so embarrassing.

It's really humiliating.

What else you got, right, not much? You got something special working.

The devil loves idle hands. That's why I'm here.

Guys Orian has like something seriously wrong with her and like she found out about it, like was it yesterday?

Found out about it yesterday? Yeah, And I'm self like.

Sing, by the way, it's really sad.

It's major. I think I'm dyslexic. I'm so serious. I found out that I have been paying taxes to the wrong under the wrong social Security number.

It's funny because you've definitely you're committing fraud and you're just trying to like cover it up with.

The you know, like I might be in federal prison next Like no one's talking about that I go to prison because then I.

Have to go to prison.

Hang out federal prison.

Yeah, well, okay, I switched up two numbers on accident, and I'm working on it. But then I was like, this is a serious problem because I was so convinced that that was you know, my social Security number?

Is it? Like you just remembered it wrong and you would.

Yeah, what is your social Security number? Can you say it out loud?

Should I the SA space?

Space?

Okay?

Cool? Anyway, I it was just I was doing it right for years. I think it started in twenty twenty is when I checked my W two and it was like things were swapped and I'm like, oh fuck. And also I just like, I have a hard time phonetically sometimes.

And so all the best writers in the world are dyslexic.

Well of Scott Fitzgerald and Yates, you know they're dyslexic.

So you're basically that.

That was the first thing I looked at after taking this.

We'll answer the screenshot after I took.

My dyslexia test online, which I think I need to get tested in person because I don't know. You and jew should go together.

That's what I said. I was like, we need to go do that together.

And then I looked up writers with dyslexia, and then you know, up became a bunch of ours and my name is and it's like they are the most brilliant writers of all time. They can craft a story better than anyone who doesn't have dyslexia. So even if I don't have dyslexia, I'm going to lie and right exactly.

Yeah, me and a Ryan are going on a slacation together and it's going to be awesome.

It's gonna be awesome.

The girls are going to be scissoring on the beach.

Yeah, We're going to be tripping and scissoring on the beach. Beautiful scissoring on the beach. Weird but beautiful is that the album Snow on the Beach Taylor Swift, it's actually oh yeah that on your Riot as your song.

Yeah, that is.

Also I told them and Indya and everybody in my life about this. But I don't know if you know about this. But like around the same time we first met, Taylor Swift wrote a.

Song about me. Oh really, Yeah, Drew looks at me, smiles.

It's just like unreleased.

She actually does say, Drew literally.

Looks at me, big mouse.

He see that was me at the party when you woke exactly. It. Actually, Taylor Swift notoriously write songs about, you know, other couples, Jack Antonofflena Dunham. We did sign an Nda, but like I think I think it's fire now. Yeah, I will say I told her all about that night and you're a legend because of it. Wow, yeah, okay, fine, Yeah, oh my god, she wrote like love story about us. You know what I should give you is the.

Letter I wrote to you in twenty twenty for your birthday, because it's in my.

Room right now because I don't know.

Right now because it's I like read through it, and it was it was before, right before we cracked the code of being really intimate. Yeah, because we were closer in COVID, but I feel like the end of twenty by the end of twenty twenty, we were like inseparable.

Yeah, oh totally. Because it was for.

Your birthday twenty twenty that I wrote this and I still didn't know how to write.

Something out to you and be like emotional and be serious.

But I bought that for you, and I have the Florence Final because I got you the Florence.

Final on that.

But then I never gave it to you because I think I got embarrassed because I read the letter. I was like, it's like I'm like not being fully real here, like it's I'm still like have all my shame on my morality scale that I can't move fast, Like, no, it's so bad.

I feel like anytime we've written each other letter, it's like it just ends in crying, like last last this year on your birthday, that was major.

Yeah, and then Drew watches in the corner.

Yeah, then I'm just here watching.

I actually tell Drew first what I'm going to get you, and then Drew's like, oh, she's gonna cry, and then she cried, and she cries.

I am also a cry baby.

Babies, if you sit us down in a table with two glasses of wine and the topic of death, it's.

Just sit y'all down at the table with two glasses of wines, and y'all will tell the same story y'all have told for the past six years to each other and love and eat it.

Up every time, and like it's usually like the same stories that we still need to rehash because it's like I'm not done.

It can never end. It's like I can dig through the same story. There's so many words in the story.

We just have to get to the psycho.

Recently it has been about like youth and it's been bad, Like we went to the chateau and we had a couple of drinks and on the Uber ride home we were his.

Like, actually, I have the I think I have a picture I never.

Be young again, and like it wasn't even will never be the.

It was like it was it it started to stem off.

We were talking about how scary it is to think that we are so comfortable in the life we have now and it feels so good, like the mundane we have now feel so good. Even though sometimes it's tiring, it feels so good. And I think what started to trigger it is we were sitting in the car and I was just thinking of all the times we've been leaving the chateau and going back to like this apartment to like sleep together. And that started freaking me out because I was like, dude, one.

Day we won't live here. Yeah, so and it was I remember, really, this has kind of just been like on my mind lately. It's I'm not so much like worried or afraid of aging like I think, obviously it's like a privilege to age, and I'm really excited to see what that looks like for myself.

But you're literally going to be so I know you're going to be the sexiest lady ever, I hope. So it's going to be really bad because I'm going to like be like, fuck, I can't have sex with her.

You can't, she can't.

Maybe when we're like older, we'll just like have sex again.

No, that's literally what I think.

I'm just like, someone's gonna have to have sex with each other in this group and ruin it and it might as well be y'all.

It's I think we could at this probably live.

I think we could live past. Like if it's going to be anyone, it'll probably make me who does it anyways, But I feel I think I just have this like vision of I've had this face for as long as I can remember, even like as a child, Like I don't know, like I've always I'm used to looking at this face. Yeah, and at one point in my life I'm going to look in the mirror and it's going to be a different face. And it's and that is so I don't, like, lack of better words, scary, to just know that life.

I think about that a lot too, and especially with like I don't know if y'all ever saw those videos of those people using like that filter where it made like the younger version of themselves and they would be like sobbing, and that's like that was really scaring me because I was like, then I started looking at old pictures of myself, like from like four years ago and like seeing the change, and I still see myself as

I wish I still look like that. I don't know, it's just yeah, yeah.

I mean. And it's also just the phenomenon of like you look back at photos from four years ago and you're like, oh, I look so great here, but in that moment you didn't feel but also like, yeah, I don't know, like I'm not so much like it feels arbitrary, like I'm not so much worried about like wrinkles or like you know, the signs of aging. Wait, this is an amazing phook.

Eh, what.

You look like the girl from the chest movie like saw, Yeah, you look like on your tailored joy.

Yeah, I'm not so much worried about I think it's just yeah, something to get used to and thinking of the girl I used to be, like I will be. I know, like I'm technically a woman right now, but I feel so much like a girl. I still feel like a girl.

And well, you are the girl.

I'm the girl. Yea, the girl. So I don't know. I was reading which you need to read Annie or no,

Yeah, one hundred percent. It's also insane because I think we're all at the age too where we definitely could do that with our tea nave selves. Yeah, because all three of us suffer from like nostalgia so bad. Yeah, it's like debilitating. All you can do is look back at yourself and think about the way you felt the thing, the way you saw things, the way you understood and

Funies are like we are living like such an incredible life, Like I literally have my girls here, And what freaks me out so fucking much is like you kind of touched on it. But there's going to be a time when like we don't see each other for months at a.

Time, and I don't want that.

I know, Like I genuinely like when we talk about like I've seen it as a joke, but like I genuinely believe that at some point in our lives, like we will literally live on a compound together, and we will have our own spaces, with our own families, with our own land.

But like we'll be a golf cart right away. Like that's what I need and I believe it.

I mean, like I cannot imagine not being a drive away from you guys. And like, also we've talked about this too, and it's hard I think in the sense of like because we both we think we want children. Yeah, and like I think about having like our twenties are so fun, and I'm sure our thirties are going to be even more fun.

I don't.

That's the problem is, especially now as we're getting older, I feel like all of us know a lot of people in their thirties who are still like running around. They don't have kids, they don't have this like stable life that.

We were all taught that would be the imagine life.

For our thirties.

And also as we inch closer to our thirties, it becomes more prevalent that realistically, in four to six years, none of us are going to be like, yeah, I just have to be home.

I want to just really yea say, not realistic. I can realistic. I can see us having children and like having a life like outside of a friendship, like with a partner or whatever that may look like. But I don't see us as the type of people to just like live in that.

Yeah.

Just it's not it's just not realistic.

It makes person it's no same, Like it literally makes no sense to me that, like I mean, it's different from me than y'all because like literally, like and this isn't like me being funny. Y'all have like a biological clock and that's just like scientific and like that's why a lot of people in their thirties are having children at that age. But like for me, it's kind of different, like I can wait until my late thirties to have children,

Like beg one of us to just do it, and.

Like no, it's for real, like I want kids and I will probably be raising them alone because like, girl, I've never been in a long.

Term relation child. God, you are raising a child.

Alone, Drew.

Guys, No, I'm like a good person.

No, No, I'm just kidding.

They'll get red forty for you.

It's amazing though, Like I've thought about that, Like I thought about the fact that for me, like a peaceful life life also sounds like getting a sperm donor and having a child on my own and just being like you have ever seen like Matilda, like miss Honey, and she's like raising Matilda basically, like that doesn't sound half bad.

And also like literally all men fucking suck genuinely, and that's literally how it is, like except.

Pinkeeping, babes, no, for real, I cannot part. You know what it is to.

So kinkeeping is when you have a child with a fucking, disgusting, god forsaken man.

And every man loves to be I want to be a dad. I want to be a dad until the dadding has to start dadding.

The dad is not daddy.

The dad cannot function without the mother, who is literally building the foundation of this home, whether that be by like cooking, cleaning, caretaking, caretaking not only.

The kids, a husband making sharving. One's been making sharvone's clean, and there.

Are like little things of that too. I saw this TikTok of this girl being like, oh, me and my husband we split our chores like he does a dishes and I go grocery shopping. Grocery shopping requires thinking about what you're gonna buy, planning for dinner. Like there's like so much that goes into just grocery shopping versus doing you know what I mean, like, like.

It is so insane, and.

Yeah, you just end up up keeping a whole household all on your own without realizing.

And then and then the dude is like, well, I provide for this family. I go work, and I work eight hours a day. And it's like, girl, it doesn't fucking matter.

But men are providing.

I know they are making There's no real men, no real men.

On phones build a fucking house. Very seriously mean that.

And I was saying, get back to the fucking steel beams in New York City, get back on those, and so well, then that ship back together.

You want children, but you don't want to like literally making took The other thing is at this point.

I genuinely like, God bless whoever.

I if I had ended up having kids, whoever have kids with, I genuinely also suffer from if it's going to be done right, it's going to be done by me. And I just don't see a world where anybody could raise my kid because that's my fucking kid. Let's get that right now.

You are so protective over like your creative babies that like I literally think like if you have a kid with a man like it is your kid.

It's not that, it's no question.

It's like, get the fuck away from my child. That's my child, and I don't know, it's just like literally get away. Also, but when you were saying how we don't at you.

I was just gonna say, also, it's different because like girls can twork fock you.

And that's the first thing I'm teaching my daughter is she has to be able to I'm gonna make an honest woman out of her.

My kids can't dance, That's gonna be really embarrassing. And that's just something I thought about them going to a party and not being able to dance, Like why does that sound really embarrassing?

Like not knowing how to like just like have fun, Like that's really embarrassing.

So you need to like raise your children somewhere that's like in Miami basically.

So that they know how to like run around and like have fun. But I think the reason.

Too, although we are all like I want kids, whatever,

Important to me. But you're not my fucking girls.

Like you, like you were simply not my friends, Like there.

Is no one else. I want to just sit on a couch.

And watch random YouTube videos and screenplay tiktoks with more than my fucking friends, Like I just wanna it's so different.

You should know it really is. Is we should all have a child together.

There say we should all find one sperm donor me? Yeah, actually.

Pregnant?

Oh god, could you imagine is a twin? Imagine we got drew sperm and and both of us had to Oh.

We can do that, we can arrange that. We can do that, Like, let's do it right.

Like I don't think we should do it like with a doctor, Like let's just go to.

Your room yea yeah, yeah yeah yeah, take money, take so much money?

Why would we would?

And I can do that because I'm straight medical.

Professional I mean, you've proved it for sure.

Yeah, right, but what were you saying?

I forgot, Oh, I was at the same time, I was having this thought when I was washing my face because this is our second year in a row. We're doing a location. Yeah, and it's so fun, And I

If we were in our home, which we're.

Making her home from home, our vacation home.

If we like had that with our little babies in that kitchen like running around.

Like and then we should Why would a man be there? Why wouldn't man be there?

No, it's actually pressing me off. Oh my god, it pisses me off, why would a man be there? Why do you want to be there? Like you're literally in my fucking snake. He's like, oh my god, I'm really gonna freak out. I'm not kidding.

Cry, Oh my god, Like.

Why do you want to be involved?

So that's just God, no.

Like you're kind of like in my business.

No, you were literally oh my god, like there is the killer in the house.

Killer is at the house. Like I'm gonna call the police.

And like, I think we should also like arrange our kids to get married.

Like mother in law live like like our kids related.

Yeah, we're gonna like arrange the marriage. We'll make it happen.

Yeah, well, okay, we'll keep them like.

Friends growing up and then let them date around because we have to make sure that like they get together in like they're thirty. So it's like okay, y, yeah, I'm really down for this, and we'll just when.

We'll always break up their relationships and then be like, oh my god, have you ever thought of I think what I'll do is if I have a daughter, I'll just raise her in my hometown and make her believe that she has to be abstinate, just like I thought, and then she'll save I'll let my daughter save myself.

I'm gonna yeah, I think I'm gonna raise my child, my able bodied child in a wheelchair.

And you know what's crazy full of chemicals and ship.

Okay, first of all, you want Gypsy Rose?

Yeah?

Yeah, the podcast so fucking badil this year, I think.

Yeah, and like the end of this fourth.

We should have a party for it.

I'm not even kidding, like we need.

To go to the prison. The thing is, we should go see her.

She's the girl like for real life. I genuinely think, like she did nothing wrong and I don't give up.

Fuck yeah, free her.

Tell are like what insane scenario she literally like what would her life be if she didn't do that?

She would literally still be held captive.

Yeah, no fun, and she would probably be dead.

But yeah, she probably would be dead from being like pumped with medications she didn't need.

But you know, it's crazy.

Before I knew Gypsy Rose was a person, I literally made a joke to my brother. We're probably gonna have to cut this where I told Dante like we were literally I think I was like fourteen, and this was

Them of that.

And then one day I'm gonna let them have a friend over and I'm gonna leave them in the room and I know the friend's gonna.

Be like, have you ever trying to walk?

And it's gonna come up and the kid's gonna stand, and I'm gonna walk into the room and see the kids standing and I'm gonna have to break its legs.

Oh my god, my god. And you're scary somethings, Like.

I thought this was going to take a pause, like this is a bit yeah, right, yeah, something crying about the idea of a man being next to our kids

Us, and you know what's annoying is then it's like it's gonna be like a situation where he's like, oh, like let's.

Go to dinner, like Oryan is gonna stay.

I'm like, you know, saying home. You know what it is to at of the day. It's because we won't be able to share a head. No, literally, that's exactly what it is. Because the house that we say out on vacation has six bedrooms and we managed to sleep in the same bed. Are going to bed this night? Maybe? Yeah? Maybe that one was a little It hurt my back a little bit. Yeah, those pillars were mad uncomfortable the beds there. Literally, I don't think you have actually for looking.

But yeah, wow, what and when an episode we've been at it for an hour?

M gorgeous?

Well, well I have one more thing to say. Oriana, Yeah that's the name.

Was that our ship name?

Yeah?

Ranya.

But I had a dream last I had a fortnight dream last night. I'm not kidding, and it was a nightmare. Actually, let me listen to the audio message I sent because I don't remember it, but I sent it to Josiah at like four am, like this, it's.

Like cyber right outside of it, like the city was this mountain boy, and we were at.

The top of the mountain, and I thought it ended up the squad.

Randomly, just like, let's chump late jump, get on my back. So I got on one of the randoms back. They were younger than me, and we tove off the mountain and like ten seconds past and we had to play bearachute. I was like, what the fuck?

And then you splatted on the ground.

It was so scary.

Jumped off a fucking mountain, jumped mountain in Fortnite and splatted on the ground. That's the dream.

In the dream, were you like a Fortnite character? You were real?

I was a Fortnite character. It was like the Fortnite map, right.

I had a Fortnite dream with Belladine in it. Oh, I really started, yeah with your girl.

Yeah, that's my friend, guys, Bella. I know Bella.

Remember my dream where I thought I had a dream that CARDI b posted a photo of my cow story.

I feel like you had like a crazy dream recently.

They are multiple, like like my brain Like if I ever had access to Black Tar heroine, I do not know where my brain would go.

No, that's me so wow, girl, we need to try ag together.

No, like you, my brain terrorizes me. In the astral realm of dreaming, where would I what would I start speaking about?

Actually I don't know.

You would start pointing out the stars and like communicating with the star.

Probably Okay, That's something I did think about. Is like the.

First time I, like, uh heard about astrology was through you, like you were really obsessed with it, and like back then, I was like, girl, this shit is bullshit, but like I'm gonna do it because people like are really into it and like there might be something to it and I still like never ever fully believed. And then I started thinking about it and like, girl, like look at the fucking mo Like the moon literally controls like giant bodies of fucking water, like makes waves, like lowers the tide,

To also my I hate the thing about astrology is especially Australia. Australia is when you start like especially oh my god, this is just like an anti Men episode. But like the multiple times that I've like started seeing a guy and been like too afraid to be like, when's your birthday? Because I fear if I asked him on his birthday? Is like, oh, well, you're gonna guess, like what starts? Yeah, you know what I am. But

What what's so annoying about it is? Why don't you just take it as a fucking compliment. This person is interesting to you that they want to look, they want to read about you, Like.

Literally, it might come from a place of insecurity, like if it says they're y'all aren't compatible, that like you'd leave or some shit. I don't know, but I am a pisces. Gemini, what do you know about.

That you're emotional? And well, I guess like Pisces would be like very I mean I'm not I'm not a fucking expert on this, but like what I do know about Pisces is that they're emotional and Gemini men are very wish washy from my experience or like not only.

In the context of like relationships. Is that what everybody.

Bases kind of yeah, but not also like no, like Pisces are notoriously like emotional creatures. I think I'm not an expert. I like, I'm just self.

Oh, you would be an astrology expert. Like I'm sure you know a lot about it.

Yeah, I'm self or have ton't know anything only about me though, Well before we.

End the episode, I actually do have two serious questions that I thought of last night.

One is are you writing right now?

Which I feel like you already answered, and you're you know. I was actually thinking about this on the couch where I don't know how this thought got popped in my brain. But I am writing, but there is no like book that there is like an active destination like theme. Yeah, like I'm writing towards something, but like I don't know

I was thinking about that the other.

Day because I was like, I had this notebook that I started writing it in January and I haven't written in it since. And it's literally because I've been telling you everything. So then when I go to write, I feel kind of silly because I'm just thinking, okay, I've just explained this. Also, it sucks because we get into

Like I literally but I don't know. I feel like we went to Big Sir and we all wrote and that was like the first time in a long time where I was just really like writing towards something which felt really good. And I don't know, I think that for the first time in my life, I can like confidently say I'm genuinely proud about what I'm writing about because I see that I'm getting better. Yeah, what I

Yeah, you read I remember, even like twenty twenty one, when we were in well where were we for Christian's birthday?

You read something that you had written.

Even I was shocked because you hadn't read anything you've written in a long time, and it was more of like a personal essay. It was right next to fucking mountain Baldy or Baldy or whatever the fuck, and you read it and you didn't tell me it was yours and you read it, and I was like, dude, that was so good?

What is that? And you were like I wrote.

That, and I remember being like, obnestly I like your writing, but that was like a moment where it's.

Like, oh, there's just like an obviously growth thing. Yeah, it was like a huge jump.

And then my second question is what is your ideal writing set up that actually works?

Like when are when is that? Where are you?

Because I feel like for a lot of people, and just like this goes to any like creative work in general, there's this idea like Drew and me have like our desk with all our pens and papers and all these things, But how often do you actually sit there and like use all those things in that space you've gathered. What is your actual set up? Like do you feel like you have to set up the moment or does it just usually.

It usually like I feel like on a day to day things will pop in my head and I'll like jot it down, and whether it's my notebook or like my notes app and my phone. But if I'm like really wanting to write, I try not to sit at my desk because or I try it even to be home period because there's so many distractions. I mean, like literally when I was finishing film for her, I went

Yeah, that makes sense.

Who are your favorite authors?

I mean, right now, I've said it before. I love Annie Arno, right now, Sylvia Plath, I love Annie Snin. Also, that's another thing I've realized in the past, like two years, I've not read a book written by a man. I read either. No, I've literally read like one Noble CoV book that wasn't Lolita, and that's it, Like I was

No.

I read a book of his called Mary, but no, everything I've been Like. Patricia Highsmith is also really good. God what's her name? She wrote The Price of Salt, which I couldn't finish reading for obvious reasons, the way like you read David Waight of the Earth Yeah that was like three years ago, Oh damn, Yeah, which was also really good, but it's he's a gay man.

Yeah, I know that's not a man.

He's a gay man and he has you know, some sensibilities there. Well.

I like went on a deep dive of like nihilism and existentialism and all of that shit, like right after my brother died, and like it fucked me up, but also like it really did heal me in a crazy way. And I think like when I was like sixteen, if I picked that shit up and read that, I literally would have killed myself. I would not have been okay.

Or like whatever. It is, Like there's so many different things that I think about it the afterlife but helped me a lot.

Maybe I should revisit that because I read it and I was like it almost staligated the things that I was thinking. And I was like, fuck, like can I like read something that redirects my brain in a different scenario?

What I things, like, you is you're gonna fucking read like I wish I could read.

Yeah, you know, I want to read more fiction. Actually I can't do like like like no, like not real like a fictional like I mean, I guess like I'm trying to think in like recent I read twenty twenty. I read My Rest Relaxation, which is fiction, which I actually didn't think it was. I didn't know it was fiction because no one knew what that book was, and I had just like stumbled upon it, and I was like, oh, fun little memoir. And I'm like, I google the girl.

Almost dude, I it is so annoying.

I never finished that book because of my not finishing book syndrome.

Which actually I two of the books.

I just finished were books that I like had to finish because but.

What's so annoying is like fucking star books.

And I get like a third of the way in and then I move on to another book, get a third of the way in, and then.

Once I revisit the other book to be like I'm gonna.

Finish it, you forget I'm like, what the fuck is happening?

Like I need to load on the page I've like started, and then I have to restart it and then I won't finish the book.

But I didn't finish my year.

Of rest and relaxation because I started it because of you, and it just reminded me of like my depression when I was not doing exactly what she was doing, but to an extent, just like drugging myself, sleeping all day, like being depressed.

Yeah, and I started reading. I was like, damn, that was fun, Like why should I do this again?

Because I'm literally like you're like no taking no dumb bitches, Like ain't that no?

Literally yeah, it's also just such a repetitive book, so like, yeah, I could see you not finish. I think the only thing that you finish in a recent time was Consent.

Yeah, that was like the book that was the only book that I like finished because I picked up and like drilled through everything else. I like have every book I own I've gotten a third of the way into and then just recently, I yeah, I did it with Milk Fed, I did it with Way.

To the Earth. I still have the finished I think you just need a gripping story. Yeah, I because all of those the things. I mean, I haven't read milk Fed, but like I think because consent was like it was like tea, you're reading like the Bible. Yeah, I'm like, what's what's next? Yeah? Happened that book? I plowed through, but.

I did finish like walking through a pool painted black and David's book, and then I had to restart bell Jar in Big Sir or no Big Star. Oh, I restarted it in Korea. See maybe that's why maybe on our chrip I'll read more. Because in Korea I finished cooking book and David's book on the fucking plane and just walking around and like reading to my and then I started.

I had to restart fucking.

Bell Jar because I picked up at like page sixty and I was reading it.

I was like, literally, who the fuck is she talking.

About right now?

Like what is happening? So I had to restart it.

And restarting a book is so annoying because like I hate reading a paragraph and I'm.

Like, which, I know what you're about to say, Like I literally.

Know what you're about to say. But I'm doing the thing where I pack too many books to bring.

On our trip, I will be doing the same.

But I'm oh, but see, like Annie's books from when you're telling me, I'm like, oh, that's.

Good, I know.

I think that you will finish her books. Yeah, I

Yeah, it's also like then it's playing into the idea that you also are a woman and a writer, and there I feel like there's such a competition with yourself and the world and the way you want to be. You never want to be perceived as somebody who's lacking intelligence, So there's it's really easy to overcompensate and want.

To be taken seriously exactly.

So it's like I need to use big words, I need to explain this out in like extreme, like agonizing detail, so that it seems.

Like I really have thought about this, but in reality it's not.

And then you do read a book which is like very clearly like influenced by a phosaurus, and then you're like, oh, this is so pretentious. So it's like no one wins at the end of the day. Yeah, right right, Well, where you.

Do that was emer in Sandcom.

We're going to do some media we like, at the end of every episode, pick out a couple songs, books, movies, shows, whatever you've been consuming media wise, and we say them, I'll start it off when the sun hits slow dive, Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space spiritualized lover. You should have come over Jeff Buckley and then show what did we we watch something?

Oh, y'all watch Black Mirror.

Yeah, we like tuned into Black Mirror the first episode, and like, I don't think it was for me fully, like it was just giving, like everything everywhere all at once, like just trying to be something it's not.

I've seen it.

Yeah, and my dad posted a story he's in New York working. Listen to the fucking song he put on his story. This is like, I think my face, like, obviously we're on camera, so it.

Showed you cannot have to wake up. Damn, he's with the shit. I was gonna talk about that this episode. I was gonna say. I literally, I was gonna say this what I was like, I'm just gonna say it for another episode. But since we're already here.

When I was like seventeen, my buddy tag like knew about Playboy CARDI, I'm just gonna shut the fuck up.

We'll just do media and then I'll tell it in a different episode.

Sorry, got sees. Basically I went to Houston and that's all you get.

But yeah, because if that's a long story, that does need to be told.

I would try to say this in the last episode or the episode with Josiah, but I was high. And this is a song that's been sang by a bunch of people, but this is the version I like. Muskrat Love, Muskrat Candlelight by Willis Allen Ramsey, Take Control, count based d Wish that I could talk to you, The Silver The Silvers, t Tick Ticket Wears Off Todd Rundgren, and Hello It's Me by Todd run Grin.

That's my media. Well, I didn't prepare for this, so you guys like really suck at your job. I feel like I've been listening to like Someone in Love by b York, I Wanted It To by ROBERTA. Flack, Valentine by Fiona Apple, and Lana's last album Like that is all I've really been like, truthfully've been listening.

To respect you read anything that you're obsessed with?

Mmm?

Do I like media wise?

Just book wise?

I'm like, I will repeat it again. I'm in my Annie or No Kick. I've read like five of her books this year and I'm on my fifth at the moment. And yeah, well, thank you so much for being on Thanks having you.

I feel bad because I feel like this is me and I yes.

Yes, exactly exactly.

It was. Well, that's the.

Key why I was like hesitant because I'm like, that's what's.

Kind of know that we talked about it before and I was like no, I'm literally so okay, Like literally, I just want to Ryan on so people can see her brain inside her head and see this version that we get to see and love. So I was more than happy to just sit back and chill. Also, y'all are just the girls, Like that's what it is.

I know.

I feel like that's most hang outs anyways, me and or I be.

Like Andrew's like yeah, yeah, no I thought that too.

Yeah exactly exactly literally.

But yeah, thank you so much for being on. I think it was an awesome episode, and thank you guys for watching.

Peace and love and unity and respect. Now let's go boom m