Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Are you ready to have absolutely nothing of true intelligence spewed into your ear for an hour? Like, I genuinely don't know that people walk away from this podcast learn anything. But maybe they learned to love.
No, That's what I was about to say.
They learned to love themselves because they look at two people that have loved themselves a little too hard, a little too much.
A little too No. I think the point of loving yourself a little.
Too much, I'm true and this is Indya.
I was gonna say, I think the form of loving yourself a little too much is when you get to like a Jake Paul Logan Paul level like of pure Oh. Speaking of YouTubers, mister Beasts last.
He's a danger actual.
He is actually going beyond like he is fully performing squid games like.
No, he's it's really really it's actually dark, Like the ending of that video was actually dark, Like I literally was like almost tearing up.
I felt so bad for that guy.
Also, I found out he is a friend of another mister Beast type creator, that air Raq guy who was in Eric's.
Really early videos.
And I wonder if there's some like drama or beef there because he left Eric yeah to do the Mister Beast thing, but he was hella athletic.
I know, I was gonna say that has to just be one of his homies who's like very athletic, because if you haven't watched, please go watch me, Please go watch Yeah, but it literally is so fucking odd. The water scene made me so anxious, and also just like him losing and then picking him up and being like come on, buddy, and you think he would hug him and comfort him, but he just puts him on the platform and shoots him down into a pit like.
No, we we've I mean we said this for the last six months, like he is flying really really close to the sun. And then he like posted about like a new video that he's doing where it's like this sterile ass white room.
Also the fucking budget.
Has gone up insane, Like that was like a five million dollar video with like the sets he was doing, and then he built out another set that's like super techy like could be in Space Odyssey two thousand and one, like type shit, like very sterile white room like high advance like future shit whatever, and he's locking people in there for one hundred days and if one there's two people, if one of the people leaves, they both lose the money.
And I think it's like a half a million dollars or something.
Oh my god, half a million to split or half a million.
I have no idea.
I think I would assume to split, but it's probably knowing. Yeah, he's probably just doing that. But people were like actually upset with him. They're like, damn, like he actually is like becoming like a rich super villain watching people like brawl for money. But like then that there's like the argument where like isn't every game show ever like making people who need oh literally why money, like make fools of themselves. Like that's the whole point of a game show.
It's always been around, So like why is it a problem now that mister bust is doing it? But I don't know, he's just taking it to a level that Like.
That was so sad. It was literally just so sad the ending of that, Like I feel like with game shows, but I guess he still walked away with like a good amount of money, So boo fucking who. It's just crazy because also, like I was saying Drew in that like video he had to just keep going because or else, like mister Bece even made a comment about it. He was like, or else, I just won't have a video.
So he literally kept pushing him towards the end of the video to keep going through the trials, knowing that he wouldn't win.
Yeah, and even mister Beast was like, okay, like this is there's too much money on the line, like do not do this next one, and he was like, don't fucking convince me to do the next one, and then he did it anyways and then flopped hard. But the end, it sucks because that's like the worst trap they made, Like I.
Know, it's like the Bungus trap because it's literally just a Squid games games.
Squid Games would get eating my sandwich watching squid Game.
Also, last night, I was freaking the fuck out because I was just scrolling through TikTok and I stumbled on a live and it was like we'll insert the picture, but it was like just the screen and I didn't recognize the app at first, but I could assume it was Uber and you could see the guy was in Denver.
He was like driving around and it was like two minutes to picking up Hannah, and he's talking to the camera and like just talking, but like he did it in a way that it doesn't show the exact directions, like you know, on the Uber map, it'll have the map and like the line, but it won't show like where you're going, because he probably has another phone it's
connected to for the actual map. But I was watching, I was like, there's no way this man is about to stay on live and get a passenger in a car. He fully did, and he like interacted with her and tried to make conversation, but it was like late at night. She didn't really talk to him, and that was freaking me the fuck out because how insane is that that this Uber driver is just live picking people up, driving around.
And there was a point where he showed a part of the map when she got out of the car. He didn't move and like he zoomed out and you could see the Lift and Uber app open at the same time. And on the Lift app it shows like street names and stuff and that I'm not going to insert, but I was looking at it. I was like if I was actually But this is also me just being extremely paranoid and fearful because I'm a woman, and I like swear this is gonna happen to another woman, and
it scares me. But if I was an insane person living in the Denver area and I saw that and I wanted to kill somebody, like a random person I had no connection to, I literally could have found that girl's cross streets very easily, gone outside her house yelled Hannah. She probably would have come out and been like, why is someone yelling my name? And I could have killed her. And then that's what was freaking me out last night because I was like, oh my god, like literally, it
is such an invasion of privacy. And then I thought about it because I get an ubers and if I'm with a friend, I say all my fucking business, Like we'll be catching up in an uber, I'll be saying all my fucking tea, like I say literally everything that's
happening in my life. Imagine getting into a fucking uber and you're like on TikTok in the backseat, like talking to a friend and scrolling through TikTok and you just see a live stream and you're like, oh, like there's an uber driver live streaming and you click on it and you fucking hear your voice and you're literally, like without your knowledge, being broadcasted to a thousands.
That's like my biggest fear coming true. Like I literally think I'm being recorded at all moments of the day.
Yeah.
Me and Kye talk about it literally all the time, where we're just like it feels like there's like a camera on me all the time, Like even in like saved spaces. I just like, I don't know, it's it's
fucking bizarre. But my favorite genre of video, ironically enough that you brought that up is right now watching UVU jabbs kick out passengers out of their car for being psychos, and like it's so funny watching these people be like tyrants in the back and then like get humbled when they're like get out of my fucking car if you're gonna act like I think you're forgetting like this is
my car. Yeah, And like I've seen somewhere like people in the back are like lying and like we'll call the cops and say he's trying to run me over, and the like they have like the camera footage and it's just him sitting there like just being like why are you literally lying?
Right now?
It's like it's really really advanced level shit to bring up. But yeah, we've definitely gone too far. We've said it a million times. Like I was going through my TikTok to fee the other day and I was just like watching live streams of just like the most bizarre shit.
I mean, you saw it yesterday. I don't want to.
Mention what it was, but it was just literally like people dying on my live stream and like people donating gifts.
Like it was so fucking weird.
Yeah, it's like gone so far. What you can see on live stream, Like it can either be like you're invading someone's privacy or just the most random person ever, which actually I will insert this woman who was doing karaoke on her live to like thirty people with like the eye contact filter on, and I watched her for so long, like I was just so bezers because I was like, damn, dude, she's literally just at work and
she's passing the time and this is awesome. But then you scroll another one and it's somebody like going around on the streets of LA. I watched this one for a long time because last night was a really nice, foggy night and I was actually so upset that I was high, so I couldn't drive around because I don't believe in driving while you're high, even though I feel like some people do that. And I'm like, you were literally actually insane, you're so under the influence. I get
a life and like grow up. But I was so upset I couldn't drive around. But he it's the dude. I feel like you've seen him. He's like og live streamer on he has like a police radio and he literally goes to scenes that police are going to, which is one dangerous too also invasive. Like he was yesterday. This was freaking me out. He was at the crime scene where someone had gotten shot and he was just
on live stream. And then also like that's a whole other thing, because then I was like, dude, the twenty four hour news cycle has gone to a new level where citizens are just partaking in it, and like, I don't know, it was like last night, I was literally freaking the fuck out. I was like, this is so insane that I'm just sitting in my bed and I can see everything happening like everywhere, everything everywhere, all at once.
Like literally remember like like two or three years ago, like when TikTok was getting really really huge, and like it was just like it was breaking through like the mainstream, and like they just wasn't like chronically online people on
TikTok anymore. Like everyone was on the internet like in the early pandemic, and we would see like glimpses of like different cultures, like like for in China, for example, like the most beautiful person you've ever seen, like live streaming and like a cardboard cubicle underneath like an overpass like bridge, and it was like hundreds of these girls just live streaming. And I remember seeing that and be like, dude, that is so dystopian, like I cannot believe that is happening,
Like what the fuck? And now I like scroll down my TikTok feed and like literally that's essentially what like everybody.
On the America is doing.
It's just like fully just like I don't know, like and it's all selling something, Like it's so bizarre, like everything is like and I mean, I'm like even guilty of this, but like everything I see on my fucking feed is like selling something, and it's just like it freaks me the fuck out, like like I don't know, like late stage capitalism vibes for real, Like, I'm like so also, like on TikTok, I bought one fucking thing off the live store or the TikTok store, I bought
like this is so embarrassing. Oh my fucking god, I bought Pokemon cards and it was crazy. I bought Pokemon cards for a guy to open them on a live stream and show me what Pokemon cards I got paid for? Disappointment, Yeah, no exactly. Actually I did get a hit like it was actually fire.
I'm gonna go, but.
So insane.
What does it hit? What does that mean?
Like he got a good card?
Oh oh well, they're all wrapped up.
But I paid for them on the live I spent I think like ten dollars for him to open and ship the card and he opened the pack live And then now all my TikTok store feed has been is Pokemon related, and I'm like, damn, that algorithm is like fucking vicious. Like literally, I guarantee I could scroll down my feed right now and find like one fucking Pokemon video within ten minutes or ten ten seconds.
I mean, like, it's so insane. Our tilands are so different.
It's like, didn't you buy something else too.
Oh you bought food, dude, stop you bought.
I think I think we need to talk about that.
I literally, oh, look, two videos back to back. I told you yeah, but on the TikTok feed. I was on the TikTok Live store.
I literally bought so okay, okay, like literally give me fucking like prompts because like, if you know, you know, but.
I partially understand this, but buying this online and non person is the.
Crazy makes this a crazy I know it is.
It is.
I got a hot bowl which with Queso flavored ruffles and a coke like a PEPSI like, leave me the funck.
Alone is just so insane.
It was on it.
It was a part of the bundle.
It was a bundle.
It was boiled eggs red forty like hot, and sauce like it was sausage and like nasty. I literally, I'm not even joking. I did not have a bite of it because it took two weeks to get here, like and by the time it got here, it fucking reaped. Ya actually had a bite of it and it wasn't I am like I grew.
Up eating hot sausage and pickled eggs. So I was like, Oh, this might be good. But then when he told me he ordered it online, I was like, that's gonna sit in Like that means this person transferred this to a container from the original container, made this mixture, put it into like a random container. They both bought and sent it to you with like no preservation of it sat in a hot truck for yeah, boiling.
I think it flew because the pepsi like was almost exploded, like the end of it was like bulging out, like the air pressure had fucked it up. But the craziest thing is it really did take two weeks to ship because TikTok has like like the TikTok shop, like if you don't ship your order out within three days of getting the order, the order is canceled. So it like promotes like fast shipping and like fast turnaround in processing times.
So that means she shipped it out in three days, but it took ten days to fuck.
Because they probably stopped it through the fucking postal service. And it was like, what is this like like like a lukewarm bowl of soup with like hallapenos, boiled eggs, sausages and like onions in it, like.
I wish I took a picture of it.
I don't think I got a picture, which is like one of the biggest regrets.
It tasted really nasty.
No, no, I think any of anybody tastes.
No because even as somebody who eats pickled eggs, like at least pickled eggs, I know that, like pickling foods is an old time process. But this wasn't a pickled egg. It was literally an egg she boiled and threw in that fucking random ass bowl of Like, but that's kind of ship, like TikTok convinces me to buy like oh, the best white T shirt you'll ever have, or like, oh, a lipstain, like and you was like, oh my god, do you want to see of fucking acid, Pokemon cards
and slime? Actually he's about slime.
Hell, that's all right, let's say get my cart right now.
Did I have a really good video? Actually I drew looking at slime.
On his Oh fuck, dude, my cart. Everything's sold out. I really do the.
Moist Skittles, Axi Lottle, stress Ball, Chimoy gushers, and oh I saw I was looking at these rice crispy treats like the rice Krispy Treats on TikTok Shop go hardest fuck.
I think I've said this before, but you know when you go into a store and you're like, why did Reese's or like Hershey's or all these brands? What is this new random ass candy they made? Like why are they doing that? Or like chip flavors and shit, And you look at it, and most normal people walk into a store and they're like so weird. They go for the thing they were there initially for and they keep it pushing. Drew will try anything, Like your mouth is
literally a garbage disposal. You won't put anything in that mouth?
Yeah?
Oh anything literally? Yeah?
Yeah we know, will Yeah, we know.
I'll put anything. Yeah.
Also, sorry that my voice is fucked up. I was screaming at the top of my lings. I was locked in a room. I was trying to get video.
He's actually mister BEA's newest victim. He's literally like developing logan pulse and drom because that kid in that video like cut his fucking leg open. It was like dripping blood down his leg and it's getting really close to him accidentally beheading someone. And I'm just waiting for the day like when David Dobrick flew his fucking friend around that fucking h whatever. What is that thing is he do?
The tractor is?
I don't girls us what that machine is crane.
Mister Beas is getting really close to David literally just like.
He's gonna just like put people in cannons and shoot them into the into.
The like we're gonna see if this guy can go over three school buses via a canon we made. And it's like they put like just only a helmet on him and then a mister Actually they would cover him in the Chocolate Wars be like this all cusher your fall.
Yeah.
Literally, there's actually a really good idea that I think mister b should do more oiled up tworking booties.
And that's what I'm saying. He wants to reach an algorithm. You made such a good point, Like mister Beast wants a billion views on a video.
He's like that's his dream.
I feel like he had. He has like some videos that are like half a billion.
I don't think so.
I think the most is like two hundred and eighty thousand Squinch games.
Squinch Games I think got almost a billion.
No, No, I think it's I don't even think it's at half a billion yet. I think it's two hundred and eighty million, but it's it might be four hundred but no, yeah, five hundred million.
Oh wow for Squinch games. Wow.
He wants a billion views so bad.
But then I was thinking about it, I was like, how the fuck does he secure budgets like this? But like, of course some venture capitalists would want to be a part of this, Like he's getting more views than like any TV show has ever fucking gotten ever, Like it's it's unlike, it's unprecedent. It's unlike anything we've ever seen before, like going so sustainable to I.
Wonder what the like GDP impact. What state does he live?
South Carolina?
He run he dude, he bought part of the Charlotte Hornets basketball team, like he like is running ship, like in fucking.
He's running for fucking he needs to run for president.
He would win, He.
Would have a because most of his audience is too young to twelve, like too young.
Well, like twelve year olds and fourteen year olds run the fucking internet, So like we're getting to the day and age where like fourteen year olds might be able.
To vote soon yeah, in four years.
I mean they.
Already technically do because they like swing the decisions of so many fucking voters in different directions.
But wait, what age can you vote?
Eighteen?
It's eighteen, right, Yeah, I mean mister Best definitely has.
Like a handful of I mean we're literally three mid twenty late twenty year olds sitting here talking about mister fifteen minutes, so he definitely has eighteen year old win.
If he runs for president, he will win.
Yeah, we were talking about it.
Their Swift ran for president, it would be like a third party like Republican Democrat Swifty like she would literally she would get those that.
She was real right with the diapers. You know, there were like photos of like seats at Taylor Swift concerts covered and ship because people you didn't see that. No, yeah, it was like people walking through like cleaning up after the concert and there was like shit stains on the seats. I'm pretty sure this is real where.
There's pull up a picture. I literally need to see this because people.
Like even during intermissions like they didn't want I guess it is like the longest concert ever too. It's like three hours.
That is so fucking funny.
Thing like people wearing diapers and then it like going out of the diaper.
Having a blowout, Like I know, like when babies sit in car seats and have like liquid poop, but they like have blowouts up their back. Like that's literally what was happening to Taylor Swift fans is they were having they were sitting in those damn seats for too long because like they were like camping out and they just had like a backpack full of loaded diapers and then they just like had to empty them somewhere, but they didn't want to go to the trash can.
Maybe I made this up because I'm not saying it, but it might have been scribbed from the internet. People confirmed were diapers though, and you know if people were shitting in the yeah.
I mean that's like one of my dreams.
Like I want to pee and poo in a diaper, Like I want to.
Say it, like it's not like an attainable dream, like you can do it.
I think your body just it's it is an attainable dream, but like it is so like you know, like internal homophobia, Like I have like.
Internal diaper phobia.
Like I literally like I'm like I don't think I can do that, Like I don't know, like if morally I'm allowed to ship all over my butt.
Luna is standing up. Huh, Luna is standing up?
Really yeah, isn't that happens that fast? Bro?
No, she's just advanced. I swear to god, she's like the most advanced.
Not as advance as that baby that we saw on TikTok that was.
Two year old.
This guy was getting scary his two year old baby. He was like, just found out randomly at this pets mark that my two year old son can read.
It's scary and it literally is.
He was holding his baby looking at the fish, and the baby just looked at the label and read it and was like like Zebra Finn and he was like what and he was like what and no, he was.
Saying like words like Tetra and Zebra and Danio and I was like, bitch, if I looked at that shit, I wouldn't even be able to read it. It's like dead asked some like glitch in the matrix like stream of consciousness, Like like I always say, like if you have an idea, act on it immediately, because there is like this thought ether that like everybody's inspired by the same ship, and everybody's getting the same stream of information.
So if you think of something, someone else will think of it because you had that thought, so act on it immediately.
But it has to be like something.
Like that where the kid tapped into like a wavelength that we like can't even understand how babies learn how to fucking stand.
And wallies that like flip through TikTok filters and they'll choose it and then they'll stand back and they'll like, yes, dance, dude.
Luna is like it, dude, The iPhone terrifying.
The iPhone is literally like so evil and wicked and like it is literally harvesting of all us of all of our fucking juices and energy and money and like all of our time and energy. Like it's fucking crazy, and it's so good at doing it, and it's so like scientifically dialed in to like activate every fucking chemical in synapsi to fire in our brain all at once, that like, when Luna sees this phone, she has no idea.
What this is. She's not cognitive enough.
She's never even used when it or like been able to understand what people are doing on it. But when she sees this fucking screen light up. She crawls to it immediately like it's like and she has the biggest smile on her face and she like knows like what this is and it's just so fucking weird.
It literally is so scary. And it's because she's around every human che scene with cognitive abilities has held one in their face and like smiled at it and laughed at it. So she is immediately programmed to be like that's a good thing, Like I need that too.
So so babies just like nowadays, are growing up, Like I saw this funny picture, but it was like baby's first time at Disneyland. Like from their or from our POV, it's like us taking a picture of the baby, but from their POV there's just like a black box and everything they see and it's just like literally like so real, Like babies are gonna grow up with Like.
With that being said, me Andrew will be waiting in line for the vision Yeah Apple Vision pro Ye, I'm gonna suck and fuck my way to the front of the line. Yeah, I'm gonna spend seven grand on the attachments, the battery, the vibrator whatever.
It kind of sounds like you're talking in two times speed? Right now?
Does it actually yeah? Like you're the way you're like, I'm trying to compensate for the fact that my voice is fucked up, so I'm like pushing.
Kay your morning?
Is that actually? Do you like that? Like an ALI.
When is that coming out?
Like?
What is that actually coming out?
Next year?
Yeah?
Next year? I'm pretty sure.
Why the fun would they announce that shit so early.
To revolutionize the game?
Like, I don't think y'all are understanding just to lay claim it's like we're doing it, we're doing.
It, We're doing it exactly.
I know it looks bunk as fucking It's probably not gonna be that good, but like, do we remember what the first iPhone did for the world, Like now we cannot live without a device with a touchscreen in the fucking pocket. Just imagine in a few years when like they figure this ship out where they make it smaller, it's the size of a glass, and then in twenty years it's the size of a fucking contact, Like we
will literally be living in augmented reality. Like it's very very real, Like we are on the precipice of like becoming borderline fucking cyborgs right now. But yeah, I'm mean Kira waiting in line at the Apple Store for it just to feel something, because like feel happy, feel good, I know, and it's it is, it does feel good to wait in line for something.
Like it's like line. Like your obsession with lines is.
Like very like real, like because like if you think about it, like there's such a big reward.
It's like it's it's literally about like it's about the journey.
No, literally, it's like so much fun can happen in a line. If you're with a friend, you can make some of the best conversation you've ever made because you're literally struggling to be entertained.
You're like, you you have generous.
You're like going through the ups and downs. There's moments where you feel defeated and you're like, fuck, why did I wait in this line? And why am I in this line? This is so stupid. I feel like an idiot. I could have done better things. And then there's moments where the line picks up a little speed and you're like, oh my god, like I'm getting so close. This was
worth it. I'm so happy we wighed imagine we didn't wait, like look how line along the line got now, Like, imagine we left and came back like we would have been fun. Like there's so many things happen in the human brain, and you finally get to the thing and you have the biggest peak of dopamine or serotonin you've ever had in your life, and then it immediately drops because the thing you waited for was not.
That's why fort Yeah yeah, No, I feel like everything I've ever gotten has not lived up to the hype I've like wanted it to be.
Like ever, it's never ever, nothing is ever good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough.
I was gonna say, I'm right here and you got me? Why not the best?
No, you're really scary.
Actually, well, I'm not tapping into an augmented reality because I live in the real world and y'all are fucking weird. And also, why does breastfeeding but organizing the milk?
Breast milk is really good and florally tasting, florally floral. It tastes floury, yeah, like flowers.
Have you had breast milk?
Yeah, yeah, I've had hella breast milk. I fucking love breast milk. I don't know why you're off atsy, bro, it's good protein.
No you buy it off the TikTok shop. We're like two seconds from people selling their breast milk.
I bet it's on there because they sell like weed chocolate on there. I've seen people selling psilocybin chocolate. Oh my god, I signed a psilocybin thing yesterday. I can't believe I've done this. I literally believe. I like can't believe it. But what was I gonna say? What did you just say about bast with the apple the apple glass? One last thing and then we can move on from it, and then we'll give in the breast milk.
But I mean, I'm done with it. I was just gonna say, organizing my breast milk sounds fun.
I think it's like, is that like when you were a bunch of bottles?
Yeah, a bunch of baggies.
Okay, So this is the last thing I'll say about like apple glass and augmented reality. But like, literally look around, we are living in like a suffering dystopian society. Like it is a literally dystopi and like we are finally getting like the good things of a dystopian future like fucking Apple Glass, augmented reality. Yes, I want to fucking
escape this shit. Like Okay, we're seeing like the big sphere in Las Vegas, like it's really scary and big, but like buildings are like animated now, like we're about to have fucking like this is the one you.
Consider that the the good good part.
That's That's what I'm saying. Nothing is good in dystopia except for augmented reality and buildings that fucking are covered in LED.
They literally destroyed everything around us to force us.
Into That's what I'm saying, Like, thank god, we're getting the good things finally, like it Kai gets what I'm saying.
But I'm so against.
Like literally watch an emojion.
But also we're like two steps away from you've seen the drone shows where they like send up the drones. Those are gonna be Coca Cola advertisements in like five years. They're gonna be floating above the fucking Sofi stadium turning.
But let's get back in the breast milk.
I'm just so that dystopian as feature like, and I also don't believe in it, Like I literally don't believe in an augmented reality. I don't believe in it being fulfilling.
I believe in it, Like to me, it's like the same ideas like uh, cryptocurrency and stuff where it's like people who were going like a little two ahead because they wanted so badly to be the martyrs of a cause, just to turn around and be like, Okay, so that didn't work out, but that's okay because that's just the first run, and we'll try again next time.
And it's like, yea, fail to succeed.
I feel like I will suck and fuck my way into the front of the line for the Apple Store. But I do agree with you one hundred. I feel like it's net negative, like we're just creating bigger and bigger problems like the AI shit, We're just creating like the matrix goopod like we don't need that, you know what I mean? And I also the theme of my thought process over the last year has just been like I wish I just didn't know like any of this shit.
Yeah, I wish I had Let's move to the woods and blow up the fucking Yeah, let's blow up every technology ever.
Pro blowing stuff up. But I am like I'm pro like not knowing.
I just said he was pro blowing things up.
It's a weird thing that Drew was testing you and I asked it.
Twenty one twenty one. That's where everything went wrong, Like that was the end of everything.
Like, to me, the furthest technology has to plan my life is the fact that we can sit and rewatch the same YouTube videos and laugh like that is as far as I need technology to take me and like posting my fun little pictures and doing this, and then I just don't need it anymore because it literally is so weird it is. Last night, I'm not kidding, I was like freaking the fuck out in my bed, like I was trying to sleep, but I literally couldn't because I was just being bombarded with how scary it is
that like just twenty four to seven surveillance. And I used to not care, Like when I was younger, I'd be like, who gives a fuck, bitch, Like watch me through my fucking mac book. I don't give a fuck. And now I'm like, what is there on this planet for me?
And just me?
Nothing? Because I also won't shut the fuck up, So like that's that's what.
Okay, But back to breast milk. Can I have your breast milk please?
I'm I'm forcing all my friends to drink some of my breast milk.
When I have some, You're not gonna have to force me. I'm gonna be drinking along with that fucking baby.
I'm gonna make everybody. Oh my god, I'm gonna be the first person to do a breast milk infuse smoothie at airwan.
Oh wow.
I mean breast milk is hella good for you? Like if you have like psoriasis or some like inflamebaxima on your skin, like pour a cup of breast milk into your bath water and like that shit will fix it.
I need madaline to give me some for the exma around my mouth. It's it's yeah, it literally is. Because there's women whose babies have bad eggzma and psoriasis and they'll mix like an oat milk oatmeal bath because like oat is really good for dry skin with their breast milk,
and they're like it is insane. How like quickly it changed it because they used to just do like oat baths and like all these medicines, but a lot of the medicines that you use for eggmun and psoriasis are literally like because it's not necessarily necessarily curable, but a lot of them have steroids in it to make it seem like it cure in your situation, but really your face becomes reliant on it, because that's literally what's happening
to me. Like I have really bad eggs around my mouth, and the cream I use, I'm one hundred percent allergic to, Like it makes all around my lips like overly sensitive and like warm and like feel really weird and it burns my eyes.
It's just like treating the symptom.
Yeah, you're just like treating the symptom and you can't cure it. But breast milk does like eradicate the fuck out of it. So I need some Madaline's breast milk for my face. Yeah, and me I need her to just squirt it directly onto my face.
Though, Oh that's my sister and that's my girl.
Well, me and Kai and Ino, we're having a very serious discussion and they fully agree with me on this and like this is borderline they're saying, but they agree that women should stop breastfeeding in public because it's nasty and you're a slug.
Oh my god, I don't. I don't think we said that all now you're I was actually saying the opposite. I was saying, you know how, like there's kiss cams, there needs to be tit cams in public places, so if a woman is breastfeeding, the camera goes onto them and then it gets displayed to everybody. And actually it's like really fucked up and like weird, that's okay.
It is really bizarre that like women can't freely breastfeed in public because people like kai are.
There about I look away immediately if I noticed that shit is happening, I actually will sprint away.
So weird, it's so weird, Like why is that a sexualized thing?
I know, it is fucking insane. It's like that baby literally needs its food and you're gonna force this woman into a pod, like the airport pods. This is too crazy. It's so crazy that like in the airport there's literally pods. Why can't this mother sit at the gate and feed her child without people being fucking freaks. People are just weird and nasty and like women will never escape the cycle of being sexualized and it is so upsetting and awful and I think men should kill them.
Maybe we give Can I suck your boots?
Now?
Wait? I actually.
Just taking that ten seconds.
Well. I hate when you're standing in line for the bathroom, which I don't feel like y'all would know this experience, but when you're standing in line in a woman's restroom and like the line is filling up, and there are people who just like cut through to like look to see if the bathroom is actually full. You if you do that, you pissed me.
The fuck is so coated?
Do you think no? Because I was literally about to get so upset at that, because why the fuck do you think we're standing in line in a public restroom right now? For fucking fun? The line to the tampon machine? Like what the fuck do you think we're in line for? I hate when bitches do that, you know, And then they'll look and they'll be like, have you checked if the stalls are open? Like are you dumb right now? But you want me to fuck.
One of the greatest inventions ever I see you at airports and bathrooms are the green and red lights above the toilets in the parking spots Like that's county, Like that's we ate with that, like if their light is green, it's open. If it's red, it's occupied and you don't have to walk up to it.
Is that a thing?
Yeah, I don't know.
If it's in bathroom, Yeah.
I've been in airports with those.
Wow.
Yeah, it's really it's really fun.
Doesn't know. Is it because of the lock?
Actually it might be.
I was gonna just say some bullshit that there's like a censer in there, but it probably is. Like the lock, but those you know, those cameras on the toilet that like the sensors are actually cameras looking up your vagina on your.
I without fail always think that and I will never not think that. And I'm like, it's like, how ever, since I saw the video of somebody taking the thing out of an ATM or like a gas station pump, like the card, oh, I do that every time ever since, Like I saw the video of somebody committing fraud, and like they rip it on. They're like, dude, they were
scanning everybody's cards. I look at everything, and I'm like, that is fake and it is a replica on top of the actual thing to surveillance me right now, and it's literally tracking me.
It's gonna be augmented reality in a couple of years.
You're so annoying. But yeah, uh, I only even said the bathroom thing because we were in Malibu at this restaurant and this woman came in and there was a regular restroom and then the employee's only restroom, and she was like, what's that and then we were like, it's employees only, and she goes, well, we can just go in there, and all of us literally said nothing because we were like, bitch, you need to fucking kill yourself. Because she went and wiggled the handle and tried to
open the employee's only bathroom. She was like, why don't you one of you go get the key to like ask one of the employees since the line is so loud cut I know, and we were like, none of us said anything, but I know, all of us were like, bitch, why don't you fucking do that? And she just got
in the line. She was like this is ridiculous, and we were We've already been in the line for fifteen minutes, so bitch, why the fuck are you getting in this line and like trying to like start conversation with us, like shut the fuck up. And then the man she was with got behind her and was like, oh, now, I see watched seconds so long because you girls, you girls just take so long in those bathrooms and no one said anything and no one got anything in that
want girl. I was like, yeah, I need to go in there and do my blowout, like like do a like a hair blow.
Out on her back out.
Yeah with what well she had her She had a rose toy in her hand, which I was like.
Wow, level three rose toy? Level three?
What is.
What?
That was like?
Not I'm eats, I'm an alien, I'm extra a.
See there's levels to this bar ship that if you get it, you get it. But like, you gotta read between the lines.
Motherfucker, you're shaking. It's just when I like my no dexterity.
You don't be fingering, you don't be fingering.
Look at this.
I got to much literally shaking so bad.
You're like trembling, Drew, look at your nails really quick, look at your nails.
Mm hm, Okay, what were you seeing if he was gonna go like this?
You know the fucking dates ass for middle school?
I never saw hell, I just know it.
I did. I failed that and I actually remember it. In seventh grade and everyone was like, oh, you're gay, and I was like, that doesn't make sense.
I remember like not knowing what it was in seventh grade and someone doing it to me and me passing as a straight man and like literally being like like I literally am straight, not hiding anything.
I remember that like actually kind of like being like determining for people like for that week. I guess maybe I am question that's queer.
Questioning.
I wonder what like if that that has to still those antics have to still be a thing in certain areas.
Like probably gotten so much worse, like I guarantee, like the pendulum has fucking swung.
Like, yeah, are really scary.
They're evil.
Like I'm literally scared every time I walk next to a kid, like like a fucking seventeen year old. I'm like terrified as seventeen and eighteen year olds right now, Like y'all are scary, and I know you're watching this.
You scare me, you know too much?
Wow? Yeah, I don't like seeing groups of uh teenagers out because it really upsets me. Also, where are your parents? Like I don't know, Like when we went to Halloween Horronized, there were so many like groups of teenagers hanging out late at night, and I was like, literally, where are your parents? Like I can't believe your parents left you here alone? Also, why is it legal for them to be there alone? Like I don't know why. I just felt so so odd, like we're in a place where
they serve alcohol, Like why are you here alone? Like it feels really not normal.
No, it's like a vibe.
I remember going to six Flags alone for the first time and it being like I'm like a grown up now, like I can do things like this, but my mom was just waiting at the Dennis across the street, like they're there. But Halloween Hornites was fucking lit like that was so like I was like, I'm not scared as ship, like nothing scares me. And then like when those motherfuckers with the chainsaws like came up and blew that fucking
exhaust in my face literally gave me carbon monoxide. Literally was like oh, like blowing the exhaust my face, I was like bruh, like' like can't I lost brain cells?
I was actually scared.
I'm just like so I realized like.
Oh my god, Okay, yeah, sorry.
I've just realized like I'm not I'm like not easily scared like that, but more than anything, Like I'm just so embarrassed, Like I'm so easily embarrassed by like the antics of it. And I understand that's just me being a bitter person, a bitter hater. I know, I know trust and belief, but like I just like couldn't, like I couldn't like I just would see them and I'm like, you're literally in a costume trying to scare me right now.
Bobby Brown's red didn't see like in this Stranger.
How much is she getting paid to do that?
Only like sixty bucks a day? Yeah, she loves Bobby Brown fell the.
Fucky No, but she ate the girl.
At the end, I was.
Like, like the theatrics of it all was.
Like, Yeah, that's the thing is like so Halloween hormonized. There's a bunch of themed houses, so there's like stranger things, Last of Us, like an Evil Dead one. Like there's all these themes, but the ones that are like show based that the Last of Us they have actors in there, like playing scenes and this is so fucked up and I feel so bad for saying this.
One.
There was this one part where Elle's character whatever her fucking name is from us, like the character also, like it's just so funny to see, like obviously they cannot hire a fourteen year old to play a fourteen year old. It has to be an adult playing a fourteen year old. But all the adults playing the fourteen year old like looked twenty eight. They were short. There is just like
really short girls. And there was this one scene where like walking through, she's like behind the gate and she's like, this is awkward and like moves and I really wanted to get it on a video, so I stood there trying to get it, and it was dark and I stood there for way too long, and she saw me trying to film her because it's literally her behind the gate going oh, this is awkward and moving to the side, and I got.
A fee It was so sad, so fuck, but.
I'm so sorry started hiding from me.
She literally ran away from the camera and she missed her cues.
Like it's also like thinking about how Halloween or like houses work. It's just him repeating like the same motion and like it has to be on time and they have to like know it on time, but like it was just playing on the speaker and she wasn't like banging on the glib.
This is awkward like that dude.
Yeah, that was her line. God, dude, if you watch the show, like some of that girl's dialogue sucked so bad. So it's literally dialogue from the show and some dude, some of the shit they made that kid say. I was like, what the fuck is happening?
But that's like she was like.
Thirty seven in the show, Like in real life, that's a thirty seven year old woman.
The girl who played the girl, she's literally fucking.
Like thirty seven.
You scared me. I was like, dude, damn, she looks really you that's great. But yeah, I got a video of her like hiding because I couldn't see like at first because I was just in this like loud room. I was again on my phone and I was like, where is she? Like I'm not seeing her on camera. I was like, oh, maybe it's just too dark, So I turned my flash off and then I realized like, like, oh wait, she's literally hiding from me, and you can
vaguely see like through the crash. She's like at the side, like waiting for me to move so she can doing.
It because she's going to be blinded by your flash.
But I felt really bad and if somehow this crosses your page, I swear I'm not making fun of you. It was just funny to me that this is awkward in this like haunted house, and I'm really sorry, but they need cracking me up.
What they need like a really actually scary haunted house, like one like the scariest thing I can imagine, and that this would be really easy to do. It's just a a haunted house where there are no oiled up tworking booties like everywhere like the imagine a world like imagine a world like where that's not happening.
Like I can't even imagine shaking.
Like sweating, like I'm withdrawing from opiates because I like need it.
I had a had a question, would you guys still let me be the producer of the podcast if I was a worm?
No, you're you're barely making it now, you're barely making the cut now, I'd squitch you. When you say worm, the thing is like this really goes see like goes to show how I view you, because when you said worm, I was thinking more like maggot larva like this, like I wasn't even thinking like you weren't even like an earthworm.
Yeah, I was thinking of you like as a fishing lure, Like yeah, like a caterpillar that's about to turn into a butterfly and metamorphosize into something great.
Okay, all right, I got the answer.
Okay, I mean, don't ask the tough questions that you don't want the tough answers. Also, I stopped watching plane crash videos and murder documentaries, and I am no happier than I was before, like if anything, Like I just like like I just need to like tap back in like.
Drinking cokes or stopping Like it's the same idea like when I stopped drinking a coke, like stop drinking sodas and like doing cocaine and shooting up heroin and smoking meth, like you didn't get.
Feel worse, Like I feel worse. So I just fall back into those habits.
Like like it's like the people who are like I cut out coffee. Whoa I cut out coffee, Like, ah, like I feel so much better. One, No you don't. Two you're lying to yourself. Three you're fucking boring.
Four is coffee bad for you?
I think people? Because it's like if you take melotone in a lot. You are depleting your natural chemicals that like make you sleepy.
Can I just say one thing, don't talk to me until I've had my fucking cup of coffee, Okay, exactly, Just don't even speak to me until I've finished it.
Don't talk to me until I've macro dosed porn. Yeah, y'all are on that micro dosing ship with Dorn.
Like, don't talk to Drew until he's gooned for seven.
Hours edging and gooning session.
I don't know what that is.
Honestly, that makes me so happy.
For you that you know what edging is.
I know what edging is.
I don't know what's kind of the same.
Okay, edging is good for you.
Yeah, testoss makes you uh last longer in bed for the ladies, Oh we all know those thirty second uh and over guys? WHOA I met five Nights at Freddy's because I literally did, Like I'm not even.
You're like literally on a crazy tip. How do we get invited to the premiere of five Nights at Fridays? Like? I feel like we could make that happen.
I think we did.
No, Yeah, I think oh no, no, no, no, I got invited to the premiere of I'm not gonna say that.
I'm not bragging. H okay.
Well, one last thing I want to talk about before we move on to media and Drewyeop.
Corner is uh, y'all, have.
You seen the insurrection of Mojang No Mojang Minecraft Mojang they are the community is finally.
I was thinking of the restaurant Mojanles. I thought, I thought that's Jingles Jingles. I thought you were talking.
About a restaurant. No, I'm talking about Minecraft.
The community is finally like uniting and rising up against Minecraft and all their crimes against the community, like every so often, like there's a voting system where you get to vote for like a new critter to be added to the game. They could add all three, Like why don't they add all three? And they make us vote, and the community is like, just add all.
Three of them. You already had all three of them, the critters, like the new animals, like the bees, the cows, the whole.
That's what this is about. I thought it was like they were taking money from like developers.
Image, like a January sixth.
Yeah, yes, they know. They are looking over the critters.
We need to do that for fortnite and get rid of the fucking chickens and all the animals that attack you, because it's so fucking pointless, Like the amount of times I've been on such a grind, but I get caught in the fucking storm and then I get out and a fucking chicken is attacking me, Like that's the last thing I eat on my dude.
Yeah, they were so fucking annoying.
They were so annoying. We had such a domestic like last few nights together that it was literally cracking me up. Like when we were sitting watching Love Is Blind on the couch and we were both in pjs sitting there. I literally was looking at you. I was like, oh my god, this is literally what married couples do, like we ate dinner and then we were sitting and watching TV and like it felt so funny, like it was
just cracking me up. Sometimes last night, yeah, sometimes we fall into such a like yeah, we literally made dinner for Oryan and she came over. I was like, this is literally so funny, like this we are we have fully hit mid to late twenties, like we just we we are there, like there's no, wait what? Oh yeah, cause you're seventeen. Are you excited to turn eighteen? I feel like it's been forever.
Yeah, I'm excited to finally be fucking legal.
What's the first thing you're gonna do in your legla?
Oh wow, vote for Joe Biden.
That's really responsible.
Vote for true.
We did it, Joe.
I'm gonna vote for mary Anne Williamson. She likes birds. It's a real person. She likes birds, and she's really sweet.
And she's like, oh wow, well that was this episode.
Like, my name's Esa.
No, I had a really good one the other day. Oh, I know. Our other one was. My name is Sdie and I like to see.
Jo come here? Yes, I come here.
I'd a really good night. Oh wait, I know what was My name is Bettie. I like to sing.
My name is Danielle and I built large my village.
Yes, my name is Stephen Peterson and I built large Bond village. My name is Tyler and.
I love the Hollywood Bowl. What is that? What does it become?
Like?
My name is Jessica Bell and I've won eighteen mummies austers Jessica Bell, I'm not a person, Jessica.
Oh b o veal like steak, mistake, like goats. I'm the fucking greatest southing ball.
Yeah, we cut you up and ate it, and we'd be eating veal.
And if we cut you up and ate it, you would be like ground sausage.
Now I'd be like ground sardines. I'd be a sardine.
Pee fishy, fishy fishy.
All right, well, media, the week is love is wine, duh.
Dirt nutter.
And my I only have one thing to say for song media, and it's I Want you the Deluxe version by Marvin Gaye, which I think is what I said last time. And then I just listened to When the Morning Comes by Darryl Hall and John Oates like eight times this morning. It made me so happy.
Mine is.
Wonder Whall by Ryan Adams. Uh, Sugar Ross. I think Sugar Ross I fucking love them.
Just listen to the music, get into it.
Uh, Then.
What the fuck was that song?
I was listening?
So I was blasting in the car. Oh well, would you say.
Oh yeah, ye yeah the new one O Tricks Point Never album, y'all taps. It is one of the best intros to an album I've ever fucking heard in my life other.
Than Bamby Bye Claro. I really listened to Sling and Bambi is such a good opening song to an album.
It's crazy.
The whole album is literally just so cool. It's like the best parts of all of Opian's music and albums that I like mixed into one album and it's really freaking good.
An Invisible Man by the Breeders.
Please listen to it.
Okay, let's get into Drew's say corner.
Welcome to drew shyout Corner.
I need a couple of y'all's ugly ass boyfriends to sit on my porch this Halloween.
Do it.
Looking for a flave? Oh he's wait, No, you're calling me and Kay the ugly boyfriend?
Yeah, oh I pray body this morn or I you as real because if it's not, I'm ugly as fuck. Imagine if you died on Spotify rap Day and your friends had to figure out what they were going.
To post to their stories first.
Your obituary or their Spotify wrapped.
Dude, if my friends mix up their story with me and their Spotify wraps, I would literally haunt them from the dead, like you can't just wait a few days.
Imagine if you died on Emergency Intercom release day, and your funeral was planned at the same time, and you have to decide if you're going to listen to Emergency Intercom.
Or go to your friends.
You just said, imagine if.
You die, die, die, die, all of you die.
I have one more, but it sucks. I definitely would have been stoned to death in a town square.
I don't think that sucks because it's true.
It's true.
Oh my fucking god, Drake, I cannot believe I didn't put this earlier in the episode, And we might have to put this earlier in the episode because I know bitches are not listening to this.
Deep Drake, Fuck you, fuck you Drake. Oh my god, he did you kissed me? The fuck off?
So one he wants to go online and say, oh, everything Drew is saying about us hooking up and shit is not real. Bitch, I have the fucking footage. Do you want me to release the fucking footage of your tiny penis you and Kanye giving each other backshots? Because I fucking will. And then you have the audacity, the fucking audacity to put a song about me on your album. Hello, Drew's a pacasto. Drew is a pacasto. Fuck you Now you're calling me a work of art all of a sudden.
Yes I have a nice body, Yes I have a monster fucking dick. Yes, I blew your fucking back out. How the fuck are you not? Oh my god, I'm so actually fucking pissed.
You shouldn't even do like you were, ignoring the fact that you signed like a crazy NDA. And I don't know why you're saying all of this like.
You're gonna give He knows if he break if he tells me I broke the NDA. He knows his nudes are getting leaked, and he's embarrassed and embarrassed, Guy Drake, deleait the fucking song, or tell them it's.
Who Have you listened to the song? Because I haven't.
It's probably like terrible. The new album is good, actually on ironic.
The sexy red song is like the one that's the one. All right, Well, thanks for listening to this episode, guys. I hope you have an amazing day, and I hope nobody had any comments to make about my scary banks.
All right, Oh, someone made a This is Drew Phillips playlist.
I like that cover Can I use the toilet? No, you need to go home and use your own toilet?
Can I please use yours? I have to peek.
He's gonna get our fucking ship release?
What did you assess me? What did you dissask me?
Drew? Can I please use the toilet? I need a piece so bad? Can I please use the toilet?
You look at his legs ew are those new shoes?
Yeah?
You actually ate them up.
I had to tap into the sombers just as they were exited.
The last person to wear you were the last person known to mankind to purchase sambas.
You know what fucking sucks is now? The Ona Sua Tigers are literally the new sambas.
Not okay because it's such a niche.
Bubbles I posted in first.
I'm such a fucking annoying ugly.
You cannot be saying that, Kyle, I said, Kai, please pee in the toilet?
No, okay, stop cut that. You're don bye.
I'm the toilet. You're saying you're gonna pee on me? No, all right, but.
You guys were listening. Bye