Midnight at McDonald’s - high edition

Hello, Welcome to this episode of Emergency InterCall at at night at night. Hey, sorry, my car's freaking out. Oh yeah, we have Josiah here with us today. Also, we're going to McDonald's. If you don't know, we have a series. Calling it a series is a really brave like thing. That's the bravest thing I've ever.

Said, episodes of a series that we've just can you turn your light on?

Hello, that's bad lighting midnight. But we have like a thing we've done twice on YouTube called midnight at McDonald's, And we thought, why not do that again.

Spice it up a little bit because it's been the same thing over and over and over again, very monotonous, And.

We thought, let's get in the car and go on a ride with our people, like.

Because we love a good car episode. Last time we were in the car, I think we got fleet. Oh yeah, oh no, we were in Florida with O'Ryan, Josh and Finn.

Yeah, Benjamin LC tie the whole or not the whole. Also, we don't have a tripod for the camera, so if you're a visual watcher, you were in for a bumpy ride both audio wise and visually because the streets in La are insane.

Yeah, that's one thing about the Dystopia that needs to be fixed immediately, as the bumpy fucking roads. I've had enough. I've had a fuck enough. And it happened right after we got all that rain, Like the water like seeped in to the ground and just cracked the fucking earth. It's like crazy.

It literally destroyed our our land, It destroyed our city.

Our city is burning. Welcome to the podcast.

Yeah yeah, oh wait, should I tell you all what happened to me when I was in the car earlier? Yeah, So before this episode, I went to dinner with friends and lovely lovely friends. And on the way to the dinner, I was driving and I saw this tesla behind me. For a while, it was like a white tesla.

It wasn't a white tesla either.

Joe was there, No, I wasn't, He says, it was a white Hi, guys, where am I? But but okay, So I pull up to this light and this tesla behind me skirts to the side of me, and I felt his eyes staring at me. I am the annoying person that drives with my windows down and I like listen to music and I'm like I guess it's like, so look right now. But I felt someone absolutely staring at me for once, and I I nearly felt it. So I looked this guy was looking at me, and

It was like like, no, listen to this.

It's like actually much worse than you think, because it was so embarrassing for him and me because I don't know why I even responded to him. But I looked away. Then he lightly hunked his horn and I looked back and he put his window dad. He was like, hey, where is your man? And I just lied and I was like at home. And then he goes, well, since you're out of the house already, want to go to

Are getting hit on like violently?

I know. It was like really crazy and that. But he was so embarrassed that I stopped at the next light and he would have had to be next to me. But what he did and said was go so slow down the street that he waited until the light turned green so he could speed past me and drive away.

And yeah, he's right there. Did you guys have bad news?

Who the company?

Probably the guy behind me, because I'm literally going thirty six miles per hour under because of that happening over and over again. It's crazy. Hey, no, I don't give a fuck at all. It is really fucking late for me right now, and I am so fucking tired, y'all, Like, oh, wait, does McDonald's have I was just driving by to see because we have to fill.

Our McDonald's is being destroyed.

Yeah, literally closed under open. Yes what I'm saying, it's under construction, Like it's I drove past because I really really want the grimest shake so fucking bad, and I came to get it after a long hard day of fucking work.

After a long hard day, I'm sitting on your.

Phone exactly work. Hello, and this McDonald's was closed is actually crazy?

Okay, Josie, you're reacting like there's not eight million per like square foot in America. Like we can find another.

Donalds someone napus Josiah Okay, can someone being Josiah mappas.

Also, this is my first video being high.

Oh are y'all both high?

Yeah, we're both high.

Oh wow, I'm just fucking I honestly, genuinely, And you don't feel anything. You're all alone. There's no way you were acting like you're acting so weird right now, like you're we're acting so high. It's like literally scaring everybody, like you're.

So I'm scaring everybody. You want to see fucking scary. I wish I had a gun and I like pulled out a gun and then I shall.

Clare your hand. Why would you do that?

It's my fucking car. I can blow holes into the ceiling if I.

Want, and I blow holes all the time. Hello, Basinga, that's my driving. My new thing is bazinga. Like I created this new thing. It's like bazinga. When I say, like a quid or something funny, there's.

A show like that about that. Yes, you always say you're not high, but wait, listen.

To it's thing. It's a thing to me.

Now, just make it up.

After I say something funny. But that's like, so like, wait, before we get into that podcast, I really do want to say thank you guys for having me back. Yeah, obviously, Wow, this is just to billion Gene.

Yeah, if you don't know Josiah's podcast, yeah, it.

Put my at right down here, No, dude. Also, just you know, what's fucking crazy is the way I banged you and your mama from the bag for like forty five minutes. You know, it's crazy as a lot of people don't look at it like an emergency intercom, as like a multimedia conglomerate, but like y'all are like y'all, they are so literally own billion Jean. Yeah, I literally do own billion grand billion Jeane, like ten years ago.

This is the second episode, Bro, you're not the Injur's vision.

Yeah, I know you can't see it. That's one thing that we're going to fix though, with guests you'll see in the next episode or maybe the episode before this, with a very special someone Josiah's special, but a very special.

I feel like we really want to fucking hang out that we fixed. Hey, good nights off.

But what was the story you're both ting about being high or something?

Oh that Josiah did. Siah told that is fucking.

Bad in your bedroom. I like, okay, let me tell the story. Okay, like, oh my god, the ops are coming. Oh my god. Actually, guys, chill, chill, chill, guys chill.

No, why is it actually freaking me out?

Guys chill? Guys chill, be chill, be chilled. No, seriously, be chill.

We should like, oh, go like that and then be like, cops stop us to ask for a picture.

The cops were fans of us. Wait, hold on, hello, Kitty, says a cab, like, let's talk about this video is a hot dog? So Josiah pulled down his page. So Josiah exposed himself to everybody in the room.

And Josiah has this fucking orange fake ass bootleg and he always wears the shirts. You well, I shoved it in there, and now the rubber stuck to the bond, so it's like more secure.

Wow, but this fucking annually engineered.

It's really wrong with you. But okay, you tell the story. You tell it from your perspective, and then we'll give my perspective.

Perspective is is that Johnson and you were sitting on the couch. I have this prodis shirt. It's upright orange color, obviously you can see that, right, And I have this pair of underwears. Where do I go? I'm sorry, turn right on west, turn right at the next light. Whoa, I'm a poet. And I have this pair of orange underwears. And you can hold the flashlight real quick, this pair of orange under sorry, orange underwears, as you can see, and so they match, right, Yeah, and he's he exposed himself.

His flashlight to expose himself to our view.

I'm trying to keep going, said, oh my god, Josie, like your little underwear like match your shirt, which also, I think that's what we should be focused on. That was a weird thing. We should be focused on.

Why were your pants being inch down so much?

Sweatpants? Yeah, yeah, just challenge. I've been doing challenge for two years. Yeah you didn't, Yeah, because like what you're gonna get? Your bulge is showing right now like crazy.

You can say I have actually I have actually done that to one of the friends in our mind.

It was me, guys. She was like, your buld is gigantic and enormous and scary.

But it was like four of us. And then I won't say his name because I won't publicly embarrass exact and I was like, dude, are you fucking serious? Put on some real pants. And then he got embarrassed and he put on different pants. It was he was like standing on the car, like jumping around, and we were all like whoa, And I was like, dude, put pants off.

I actually remember that.

Were you there? You weren't there.

That's funny, guys, I hit that car.

Oh, but that's funny because this is my car, so you should be driving safe or something.

Okay. All I was trying to say is Josh said that to me. So then I said, oh yeah, Like look, I was like, it's my little sweatsuit, like my little short sweatsuit. But they didn't know that they were shorts. And I was like, here, let me pull them down.

And the shorts they're boxer breeves.

Okay, that's shorts.

And he goes, I have little track shorts on under here, and I just pulled this pants out and me and Josh both go whoa and like look the way. We were like, dude, and then he just pulled them up, and then me and Josh started being like, you're high. You're being so weird to Josie. So that's why the story even came up, because people want to accuse me. When this freak is pulling down his pants.

They're ling apparel box a brief, so it's not like they're like some Haines backing nasty way I saw.

I was sitting on the couch and Josh and Josiah kept looking at each other and I was like, what's happening. I'm literally in the room and you've witnessed this before, you guys being plirtatious and yeah. So I was sitting there and I was like, it's happening with you're's in the bathroom, so I can't get him to stop them. And then they started like making out, and then I was like, this is weird. And then Josie pulled down his pants and said let's go.

No, not in front of thought on my pants and I said, check this out and it was a brown stain. Josiah has we need to bring back skid mark. You know what I wish I was talking about that today is I will never eat ass. Oh my, that's a conversation. Okay, why not congresation? Why not? Were you? Yes?

Yeah, it depends on I had this conversation actually the other day, not about eating ass, but about like stuff. I was talking to somebody and they were like, yeah, okay, grow up because it's just feet. Like what, it's not that big of you're.

Saying that to me right now? Yeah, I don't want them near me. I don't want feet anywhere near me at all. Their fucking have you seen my fucking feet?

Like?

Literally, why would I ever, ever ever want to experience someone's feet if they look remotely like mine? And I just have trauma surrounding my feet because I was made fun of them my entire life and still to this day as a grown ass sixteen year old man, my seat are getting.

Sixteen sixteen or sixties.

Sixteen year old man? Hello sixteen? And that makes the bottoms of my feet in my palms really wrinkly, Like if you compare mine and in you's hands. You can't see right now, but they're mine are like exponentially more wrinkly than everybody else.

Oh my god, Wait, can I synthesize your hands like big girls?

How much bigger my hand is?

And oh my god, what the hell that's so great that toot?

I do have a little Donald chump hands. Yeah, I feel good about that.

I need to have a conversation with Donald congresation.

I needed congressional hearing.

Wait chump, that's what?

Also?

Wait, whose thing is literally like so low that it's insane?

All right, back from technical difficulties. And we are actually at McDonald's, and I saw on the menu that they have the Grimace shake. And God is good and God.

Is great, God is gorgeous's birthday if you ask me, God gave us grimace to rejoice. Fuck. I was gonna say something right before we like, oh, should I talk about my fucking annoying piercer today because I didn't tell you about it, so Yousiah, I was gonna. Yeah, it's the girl who did my smiley piercing last time.

She came back for evenge help me?

Hi?

Can I get the purple shake? A small and yeah, you're gonna get anything?

Yeah?

And then a piece of nugget with a medium fries and a Coca cola a bunch of stuff, just catch up? Oh my god? Uh medium? Yeah? And then can I get from the ten piece of chicken nug meal please? They have to go back and you know, do a large frozen coke.

You have to like milk the machine like an otter sauce?

Can I do barbecue sauce please? He's like a big big And then can I get an apple as well?

We need to talk about the job of the hut when he was Can we get a pack of.

Chocolate as well? But I don't know what do you get about Star Wars?

And then a happy meal it's a happy piece with a four piece chickens.

And then can I do this happy piece with the four meal or sorry, the happy meal with the four piece chicken nugget? And what do you want? Extra fries? Extra fries please, I'm just guessing right. And the drink a Coca Cola please? And is that it?

Guys?

Yes, okay, I think that's gonna be it. Thank you. Put it on an inert. Hey, it's grimace. Your food looks really good, That's what it's do on the fucking thing. I got an email from him.

I'm not joking because you use that damn McDonald's at bitch.

I don't use that. You think I'm broke. And I wouldn't know what the McDonald's app is because like I don't even eat at McDonald's. Like what even is McDonald's because like I don't eat there, And you can.

Give you know a lot about McDonald's because if you are referencing it, so it seems like you go there a lot. Oh you know cools, I don't have my wallet international.

I'll pay with my card international with my Apple pay.

Just hit my phone against their screen really really hard.

And yeah, I'm gonna hit my phone against your screen really really hard.

Okay. I something's wrong with you.

I think you wish. Okay.

So I had my smiley pierced last year, as you all know, and it didn't last long, not because I didn't want it to but because my original horse bit was too big and it was tilting. And then I got a smaller one. But then one day when I was brushing my teeth, the ball fell in the thing, and I didn't want to order one offline.

And you had a dream about it.

I literally did.

Isn't that crazy?

I had the dream that I was going to swallow it, and then it fell down the same and I.

Didn't want to order the piercing again.

Yeah, I do that a lot. You must. It sounds like you've never done it in your life, so you're not a champion.

I would. It's swallowing. It means that's what I told my girl. Now come on, now, swallow it. Okay, Wait, who's saying y'all got McDonald's money. Y'all got McDonald's money or what? I honestly know, every time I fucking going through here, it's like forty dollars. Go ahead.

Yeah, it's actually for me because I only eat the water here.

It's so hot, you only eat the water, I tell the smiley, Sorry, please, okay.

So whatever, I don't know why I'm saying all that. Basically, I want the piercing again, I hit up the same girl and we have a whole DM conversation about it because I'm like, oh, like the last one was too big, I want a smaller one. She's like, yeah, yeah, I got that, Like just come here and like I'll do it.

Because I have a story to tell too.

Yeah it's a crazy one. But this morning, sorry, I'm so grossly sick this morning. On the way to the appointment, it's thirty five minutes away from our house, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna be like eight minutes late. So I text her that and she just verly, very sternly, is like, well, if you were ten minutes late, you're gonna have to reschedule because I not take walking's fast.

And that's so real and you shouldn't be late.

All the way there, I did crash into five cars holding eight individual families, so I did tear homes apart.

But I got there were two families five minutes five minutes honey, the math ain't mathing. And also, and you probably when she's older, is gonna like marry a man who already has children, and she's gonna be like, oh, like, I'm so I'm tearing this. You would be the wicked mother.

Okay, sorry, So I speed there. I get there now, only five minutes late. And she has all these insane instructions that's like park in the garage, wait in the car, tell me when you want to come in, and when you're ready to come in, I will come get you. Do not enter the building, all these like scary roles. She comes out, she gets me. I go in, and I'm like getting a liever. So I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna get yeah, the same place. I'm gonna get my piercing again. Blah blah blah. I get in there,

And you don't even have it?

No, And then she's like, yeah, I just don't do it. And I mean, like I don't know I could, but I would highly advise you not to get it.

And what did did you act?

I literally was just like, oh, okay, yeah, I mean I understand you don't want to use it. Oh I'm abusive? And what did I do?

What did she do?

Oh?

Oh, they're giving us the food here to I was so confused. Here, I can take these. No, you're good. Drew fell in love with the Drew fell in love with the lunch lady.

Stacey's mom has got extra barbecue, thank you?

The other going fuck fuck?

He was like, did you extra barbecue?

I waited till too late.

She would just parking like munch and eat and you know we can't, Yeah we can't.

We can drink my grim shake.

It's like crazy, Oh get that grimace shake.

It okay, well my crazy story.

Oh wait, can I finish? Sorry, because there's one more funny thing. And then she she literally looks at me. She's like, anything else you want to do today? I could do, bitch, I'm not playing pin the fucking piercing on my butthole. What the fuck am I doing here? She literally was like, yeah, but anything else you want like, I can do for you. And I was just like, oh, is it good?

It is so fucking good? Are you supposed to be mixed? It is? I'm not joking. It's on ironically so good. It tastes like a berry pie of sores sweet. Oh my god, I literally love that so much. It's almost fermented and alcoholic a little bit.

It's oh, I don't know if I like it. It kind of tastes like when you're eating cakes anything new, and you's like, I don't like it, and then she'll have three more Citi I can't no matter.

Of it and stuff, I'm gonna this tastes like.

Okay. And then I was like, I guess I want my belly piercing, but I'm going I'm gonna be at the beach on Monday, so I can't do that because I wouldn't get getting it. No, because and then I say that because I was like, I'm going on my cache. I'm gonna be hitting the beach lot. She goes, yeah, that I can't do because I needs four to six weeks to heal, and I like, can't. That's like malpractice on my part, And I'm like okay, And I literally am.

Standing okay in the mirror like I don't know. She's literally stabbing and cutting through people, like I'm sorry, but like, girl, just do the fucking piercing. But I like it respect to get.

Craft, but I was just like, what what am I doing here? And then this is when I was like, all right, like literally fuck you. I was like, can I get like a piercing up here? I'll take like a cartilage piercing because at this point I was like, I drove forty minutes, I might as well get something. Yeah, And I was like, I'm down to get this ree pierced.

Even even I didn't know that, THETOPA was respect like respect for her taking her craft serious, but just fucking do it like that?

Why did she have a whole conversation with me? And then she literally was like, yeah, i haven't been doing it for like a year.

Actually I'm not going to the beach in the pool this summer.

I lied. Yeah, but yeah again, yeah, respect to the craft, But why did she have me drive out there? It was insane? And that's my story.

Well my story is I'm sure a lot of y'all have already written fucking comments about it my hair uh, And I know something is seriously, seriously, seriously wrong. I recognize that, but I haven't had time to get this fucking mop on my head shaved off because I I don't know where I'm going. I'm just driving. Also, by the way, I.

Have said, let's just starve for like twenty minutes.

I haven't had time because we're stacking episodes because we're going to be gone for a month and a half. So this episode is coming out probably two or three weeks after we record it. What was I saying?

You were saying about your haircut?

You wanted to tell the story worst haircut ever challenge, and it's I the more I've sat with it, the more I've realized that, like this really is all my fault, and the dude did the best to his ability, like cutting my hair, like he did what he had to do, and like I came in there unprepared and he sliced my shit up the way I asked him to. And that's on me.

I don't know if that but but.

The behavior was kind of crazy. But no, I don't even know where I was going with this. Oh, I posted today on igh I said something awful happened to me. Also I got plastic surgery and I got a penis and large sub reduction of surgery blah blah blah blah blah joke caption. He texted me and blew up my phone and was like, oh my god, like do you not like my haircut? Like did it? Did I not do good? Like I have so much anxiety over this

Ghost that's what he gets because he said he wanted army hammer so bad, right right? Oh fuck? Oh, I was thinking when I got when I got all the gifts for Christian the like decorations. I literally am sick in the fucking head because this man out of intersection let.

Me cross, because.

He like he literally was like and like, let me cross. No, but this isn't on him, This is me, bitch. Why was I giving it to the mail gate so hard in that moment that I had to seize that I literally, I like performed.

I was like, oh, there's literally something wrong. Touched your elbows.

I was like, I don't want to do that.

You know who else gives into the mail gaze Lady was.

Saying, Forriah Carey, you're gonna make a joke.

No, I think she kind of she she tolerates them, and she knows that she that they pay her bills. But you know she's she's not fully in support. But Gaga, I mean she enables them very much. So oh, well, we won't allow Gaga slander and this. I don't know, I'm in love with her, but she definitely enables them. Is gay? That's the craziest. Yeah, Gaga is gay baiting just as much as I'm straight baiting, just as much as Harry.

As much as you are gay baiting as.

Men does a straight bit and I don't get for me. Come for me, bitch is a straight straight baiting Uh maybe maybe, I mean it's a tough journey, you know, and who knows.

When me and Drew went to the suicide center for a Valentine we were having romantic troubles on Valentine's Day and that listen, both of our bays were acting up and we were like, no, I can't do.

Literally actively trying to kill me and I'm not exaggerating, like trying to run me over with his car.

So we were literally having the worst Valentine's Day ever. And then we were like, should we just go on a date to Malibu together and not Malibu to Nobu? So we went to Nobu together, but on the way there, we passed the like what is it's like the suicide Prevention Center, and we stopped and took photos of each other in front.

Of it, after crying, like after.

Crying listening to Bluebeard by Cocktails.

Wait, when was this?

This is twenty twenty? Why we weren't friends with you anymore?

Why didn't you call me and say, hey, I'm going through a really rough time, because this is how you would have reacted. No, No, Josiah is a very good person. He doesn't like to show it online, but he's really a sweetheart and he gives a lot of himself, maybe too much of himself, to the people around him. And it's really beautiful to see. But I hope he's okay inside. I'm not. But that's really sweet.

I just say, Drew, and what are you guys gonna do now? Kiss or something?

You guys have any fucking questions for me or what? I'm a guest. I saw how you treated that fucking Barbara girl.

What's crazy? We didn't ask Barbie a single question? All right?

Well, here come ask me a question. What's the question you always want to ask me but you never do because I know you have a.

When you write music?

Who are you your mother?

Oh? So we had to switch to iPhone and I know that's gonna be really upsetting for a lot of you camera techie nerds out there. We're like, I love this video, but I just wish it looked better.

And Drew, that was so sweet. What what you said. I hope you weren't just saying it for the camera. They're being audio footage that day because the camera the audio is recording there. Wait wait, do that for the camera.

Without saying it, and now show we are true performers, guys, We are entertainers that had tools.

Josiah, I have a question for you. Yeah, what's your question for me? When I'm banging your mama? How does it make you feel yourself go fuck your mother? How much? Am I? So?

Okay? Wait wait, wait, wait, because we need to analyze this. Banging your mama like fucking your mom, having sex with your mom, your mom, stinky pussy, all of that has gotten so like lacking in reaction that now you're saying fuck your mother, your mother, Like that's pushing it.

It's really crazy.

I know what you have to say. When you were playing Fortnite with your nephew, When you're playing Fortnite.

With joined Andrew cursed him out. Yeah, yeah, so we were we were playing We were playing Fortnite the other day. It was like the first time I played Fortnite so fucking long, What the hell is that supposed to?

No?

I know, I'm so sorry, and he's just very but we were playing for I was playing Fortnite for the first time in a very long time, and like we have a full squad going and like it's really fun.

The fuck is that?

Get the fuck out of here, like stop spying on you, freak bitch, and then like all of a sudden, you hear this like like this ringing. And then I looked down in the chat log after we cuss this person out and my nephew's like, hey, Drew, it's me, Like it's Maddix, Like I'm so sorry for joining you, and so I like feel so bad. We blew up. It was O d it was crazy we blew up on this eleven year.

I thought like we were like someone was trolling us, that's what I stop it.

And like there was like this crazy ringing coming from the mic too. It was really just an awful situation all around. The ring yeah no, and then I like the next day was like that night, I was like, hey, he text me when, like you want to play tomorrow, I'm like free. After seven, it like was like nine, and we hopped on together and we started playing like a parkour game or something like that, a death run on Fortnite, and like he he's like I tell him

And my little brother still won't like curse if I asked him to.

Yeah, And now like he just cusses on his own. And it like took him a second to get into it because he'd start with like juh and he just starts saying shing like that. But then like near the end, like I was like, okay, I have like one more attempted me and then I'll go like he like missed a jump and what did he say?

And yeah, dude, he literally was like uh he was like oh my my fucking big tits.

Yeah, he was like, oh my fucking big tits. My big fucking tits are bouncing around, my big fucking tits. And I was like what and he was like, dude, my balls are bouncing around and my ass and ship. And I'm like, Maddix, what are you fucking saying? Balls are bouncing around in my ass?

Yeah?

I'm like, dude, what, He's like, my balls are jiggling, my tits are jiggling, and like this is coming out of a toddler.

Something like he's never spoken like that ever.

No, it was crazy, and I was like, oh my god, wait, you're like a boy who has boyfriends and you behave just like every other like.

Boy he has boyfriends, he has a boyfriend.

Yeah yeah, twenty three hello.

Like what, no way, I was gonna say this thing. We don't have to keep it in if it makes you, like feel funny. But it was really funny because you were like, you put the mic off and you're like, dude, I literally keep wanting to be like, oh I'm gonna bang your mom.

Oh yeah yeah yeah, but your mom is his his mom is my sister. And I was just like because it's like literally in my vocabulary like anybody that I talked to him, just like I'm banging your mama from the back Cooper style, like, and my penis is covered in poopy like because I'm so much And I was trying to say that to Maddix, but he's my nephew, which means his mother is my sister.

Yeah, you're really fucking weird for that, Texas.

Also, gamer Man is literally Marvel's new tech heavy superhero.

Is that real?

No? But I imagine fuck you.

But you know when you like tug on a seatbelt too much and then it like locks you read and I literally feel like I'm being like constricted the killer and.

We're gonna get like literally, I'm gonna get murdered, and your new name is Boa constrictor Okay, Kanye West, Kanye West is jacking my swag on a biblical level, like this is it's another level of swagger jacking. And like I can't go into too much detail, but this motherfucker is tapped into my wavelength, into my consciousness and I thought ether my thought bubble, like it's not chill the way he jacks everything that I fucking do. Wait did

Wait is that what you were getting?

Yeah? Dude, Me and Kanye like ever since that fucking concert, y'all, Like I'm not kidding, he blows up my and then okay, he hits it and then quits it, like he'll bang me and then not text me back and block my number for like three months, and then somehow I think he fucking stalks me where he's hiring people to fucking

Oh?

How do I make you blow.

That's what I always say. I'm like, how do I get through to Enya?

What's your question for me?

Oh? My question for you is when will you be finally exiting out of my life? And whether that is on purpose or by fatal accident? Right now.

And drew the car.

I don't have a fucking question for you.

When was the first time you found love with your mother? What is your favorite color orange? Where do you live? Your mother's vagina? How many kids do you want? Am I going to say vagina here? No, you have to say budgina because vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina.

Vagina, creation about vagina. You have to bleep it.

But vagina consciously, just make it so you say vagina. Wait said consciously? Could I say vaginana? Yes? Oh you want to get in there, my little vaginana. Let's say if I know to you right now this is unbearable and like unlistenable and like not chill, But this is I'm not kidding how we actually speak to you. Do you want the real thing?

Guys? Literally water into my happy meal just because.

Vagiana Grande Ariola Grimbley. Wait, guys, no, listen, listen, listen. We have Vagiana Grande and Ariola Grimbley. Who's Ariola Grimbley. It's Ariana Grande's sister.

You think that you say.

We got Ariana grand Wait, we got Vaggiana Grande and Ariola Grimbley. But wait, do you remember Baldy Irish? Yeah, Baldi Irish is my alter ego guys, Okay, so baldy Irish is Billie Eilish's younger sister. Who is I? And I'm a bald man who's Irish? Wait? What about this? Selena Gome is his sister Marina Gomes or wait, hold on, hold on, hold on fumbled? Serena Williams Serene the pillars pillar? All right, okay, Fridays are great.

What are you saying that happened?

Oh? Oh, okay, so I forgot about so bad. We'll talked about Harley Davidson. We haven't talked about Harley Davidson and Massaman and Massamanandre and Mama Birch.

This is so funny to me and all of us, But this means absolutely.

That's what I'm saying. Like this is this episode sounds like it's good because we're laughing our ass off, but it means nothing. And everybody's already they've already tuned out of this episode. Guys, wait, let me make it so that this episode hits the algorithm reque this because.

We share the mics and I want to make sure you guys got it.

Wait, let me let me make sure that this hits. This video is gonna hit the algorithm real quick. Today, I'm giving away a million dollars, like and subscribe for a billion dollars. How much Yourenna bet he's gonna get a million views? I will bet a bit. I'm not joking a billion dollars. If this doesn't get a billion views.

A million views, you joking say that you thought it would it, but yeah, you know, and I'm not believing yourself. That's what you guys learned here.

Guys. If this video gets a million views, I straight up I'm not exaggerating, I will twerk my ass bear on Twitter for free, like not even on some like OnlyFans, and then we will be hosting the torquaiton. Yeah, the tork off comment down below.

Okay, so let me explain first. So all these random names that we.

Said, Jozie, we got, Highlot, Jones, Mana, Massandra, Harley, David.

I don't want to give all of them away because I hold them s. Yeah, those are the three we have our people who are like just like these made up people who we just made up. They all have different names and the seriously, so.

What Laurel and Yanny though, Yeah, well it's.

Supposed to be real people. That was just like, which do you hear.

Laurel twice, Laurel and Yanny. You just said Laurel Laurel. I know it sucks, but Laurel and Yanny are the twin siblings of Harley Davidson and Pilot Jones. Yeah, they had kids together, and then Harley Davidson and Mama Bertram split up, and Pilot Jones and Manama Sondra now together. And it's really so Mama Bertram killed herself.

Sondre used to be really close to Mama Bertram. Yeah, and when she found out they got together, she literally committed suicide.

It was yeah, Mamma Bertram jumped off a bridge or something. And Laurel Yanny like, saw, I don't even remember what we did, like come up with this ship a story for them?

Well, no, it's not. You don't come up with it. That's just like it. I mean, see, that's what's really happened. People gossip about what happens just because becomes and it's not somebody's actual problems. It just becomes like gossip and it's like, this isn't a story to tell, this is real.

And yeah, guys, wait, you do like a really serious sad moment where like they clip it and put it over like kid or Radiohead or something, and it's like yeah, and then you say, stop treating me like this or no, I mean more like like a depression conversation like that

Need to put this light off because you look so funny.

You guys have an idea.

That it's really not funny. You like killed it. It's crazy.

I know I killed it. Think you think I killed it? Yeah? Wait, would you suck dick for a million?

Five minutes? When I said suck dick for five million dollars, I would suck dick for free?

Who's oh? Yeah? Now you want to know the Withers, I said, Bill Withers.

I don't know who that is.

Okay, So if we got in a car crash and all three died right.

Now, we died laughing and loving, I.

Would be so happy. I would be content at this moment actually saying good night.

It's fun for me because I'm a little baby and it doesn't take much. But there are moments where that I remember that I'm not only on camera, but I am on audio, and I think I sound like I have two brain cells left and I can't make any funny jokes. But I find everything really funny, and then that's embarrassing. I feel like this video insect the video of the girl doing her slam poetry. I wanted to end. I wanted to end.

Want to end.

Please, I want the eyes gone.

Stop watching me, Stop controlling me, kill me, kill me, kill.

Me, end it for me, Save me from this fate of no control. Grant me the comfort of death's cold arms.

Please please.

I like keep making jokes at art landing.

I'm the new and yeah, if it makes you feel any better, I feel that way. Sober twenty four to seven.

Okay, I literally didn't ask them. That's okay.

You see her? Did you see that woman? She was riding a bike and she had her arms crossed and she was just riding down the street.

Okay, she literally fucking midnight, go home.

I can ride my bike with no handle wars vibe. I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handle bars, my eyes, no handlebars, a A, I can ride my bike. No, I was saying, it's escaped me. It's gone. I need to take more when we go home because it's not here anymore.

You're freaking out, though, weird like you're saying, like I'm.

Not Let's just say the English language escapes me.

People will be like, I'm not high anymore. Ten minutes later he's gonna be freaking out.

Yeah.

Yeah, and you know the feelings. We've all been there.

Guys, tell me, do I look like more of a man or more of a twink? Now with twink Josiah said, I look more twinky.

I don't think that.

Yeah, wait till you see what's one of those clothes. He's not okay for real though, for real though, he's packing that thing swang all right.

You know what's annoying is all my notes are on my phone and I keep like reaching down to look at my notes, and then I'm like, oh.

I have some notes. You actually you want to have a.

Real sad conversation is at the gym. I've been freaking out and fully like disassociating from my life. But I've said it so many times that like is it real? Because I can like recognize that I'm not living in the moment and that everything happens in a blur, and then six months later, I'm like, I wish I'm still that happy, even though I wasn't really that happy. I was just I can't live in the moment I'm living in.

Still be here. You literally called grounding yourself, and that's like a technique they teach in therapy.

But doing that in an equinox to treadmills felt really crazy, Like I'm looking at like some of the sexiest people ever with nothing else to do.

Myself included hello, I'm me, me working out too, and me as well, Okay, wow, that's just like, why are you the only one that gets to have sex appeal me?

Because I am sexy? You get sex appeal when you're sexy on Amazon?

Oh, I don't even know what Amazon is, Like you would know what that is. I'm sure you're an Amazon expert, but what is Amazon? What is Amazon? On Amazon?

Donald's? Oh, I'm sure you were a McDonald's fanatic and you always eat there, but I've never.

Been there the McDonald's app. You sound like a McDonald's app expert. You probably gone that a lot, don't you.

You do his voice really good?

That is like like genuinely the English language escapes you, you know what I mean. Like, but like I'm like, I'm like, I know, I know for real, but like, have you ever seen me try to read a line like Drew can't read No? It's like it's so real, y'all y'all think it's a bit but like genuinely, like it's not that I can't read, but if you need me to recite something like no, like it does not work. There's like a short circuit in my brain. Like it's really can he spell either?

I will say, Like, it is really hard when someone says something for you to say and to repeat it back exactly the same. Like I feel like a lot of people have struggles with that because I do too. Actors deserve a lot of people like I have struggles too, and I find it hard to do things that you guys find hard to do.

The trigger We ain't nobody gonna do it for you? Should we talking about your old drug race? That's too much to explain it.

I don't want the people to know like that's our thing.

Oh no, no, no, I've talked about it. I'm gonna I talked about it on a Billion Jean.

She's still there, She's still Oh no, that was she was on a bird scooter, but I thought that was the bicycling lady. She's literally still going around the book. Then go for it.

Favorite Nikky song? Go U favorite Monster Megatron?

That is not your favorite?

Yeah it is?

I say that like I didn't just say that my favorite is literally her song with Meek Mill.

Yeah, And Drew didn't just say a feature. I just want to be a pa Okay, but that you have to admit. Though she ate everyone else on that song, that feature in Monster is probably the greatest feature of all time in any song period. And I'm not exaggerating.

I know.

Apparently jay Z heard her verse and then went and re recorded his I'm not joking.

Oh there's a raccoons and he ran into the sewer and killed himself.

Oh, you better watch out for penny Wise. But Drew, I love you me names and yeah, I love you too. I love you, Drew, I love you. I love you Drew saying Drew. And I think there's Drudy.

Oh, I have to call my drooper, and then it's Drew who picks you?

Do you guys want to? I have to. I'm gonna play some I'm gonna play some call of Drudy. Then I'm gonna call my drewer because I have to go to Judge Drudy's court room because I committed a dream. Let's drive on the wrong side of the road for ten minutes and see if anybody on the wrong side of the road chat and you're do it. You won't out on the main road.

You won't.

I literally won't. I don't know what you're saying that.

I don't want him to.

And I don't even do those Hollywood as stops, like I literally go all the way through the stop signs, Like I mean, I stopped all the way at the stop signs. Guys. It's crazy how we're literally almost to Vegas.

We've literally we've been driving to Vegas this whole time because Drew said that he just needs an escape in a hotel room. But he's going to get his own hotel room and put me and Josiah in a smaller, cheaper motel down the road because he said that he has to get things done. No tell us what he has to get done with.

Me and him are staying in the nice hotel. You're staying in the in the thing in the Who is that? Who is that? Across the street. There's a lot of scared people sitting on their stoops out tonight. And it's eleven thirty and it's really late. I'm not joking Thursday.

It's eleven Thursday. Okay.

This is the biggest platform that I've had in a little bit. I know a lot of people are listening. Oh can you put it up real quick because I got something to say.

Yeah, I'm working on it.

Yeah, here's my platform to my father. If you're out there and you hear this, please come back immediately. Things have gone to ship. I mean, look at me. I look like Jeffrey and I talk like fucking I don't know. Yeah, something is seriously, come eat immediately, Jose he heard that and ran further. You know, on tour, I was thinking about hanging myself like every night, and I was like, imagine, oh, wow, you sound like not hanging yourself expert. That would never be me.

No, I like, you have suicidal ideation all the time and you don't act on it. Oh I couldn't. That couldn't be me.

Well no, yeah, I do want to kill myself on tour sometimes, but I wanted to do it for the gag of it. Like we were playing a venue with curtains and I was like, dude, imagine if the curtains open at the beginning of the show and it's just hanging there. That's so not funny.

You're just there because.

I tell them. I'm like, guys, I have to go do something solo on stage real quick. Please stay backstage, Like just trust me, it's not funny. Oh my god. But I wouldn't actually do it. Yeah, I want to see things, you know. I want to go to Europe more. I want to have a kid or something. Dude, you know what I ironically actually want to do. And I'm like, this isn't a joke. Have a kid. Is banging Josi as Mama for style in her butthole with my poopoo is penis, and you poopoo my penis. That's what you

Huh, I am in the middle.

You are the middle. Yeah, look at Enya. And then I don't want an only child because I'm not going to say that I'm the youngest by a very long time. She was honestly nice growing up with a bunch of

But that being said, does that mean you would want a lot of kids with like an age?

I I don't know, Like I really loved growing up in a big family, Like I loved having a bunch of siblings. This is actually so I too, So it's like weird, But I like grew up in a family of a lot of fucking kids. One of them is dead now, okay.

But you've been lying about that.

So don't tell them that. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I don't tell them that. But I probably do want a lot of kids, Like but I think four is like the max. But like, yeah, here I.

Go, like im they're so drunk walking home out of this bar. It's like a little old duo.

Bathe myself, Like here I go having six kids and like I'm not how my parents fucking did that ship? Like that is not.

Okay, Like I've been coffee with my mouth open.

Dude, I know I don't know how. My mom also had six kids, and that's not something we talk about enough. Is that me and Drew come from six kid families, both of us, and it's like almost identically.

Okay, well I come from five, so like one doesn't make that big of a difference.

It does, trust me, it really that's funny.

Because it doesn't seem like it does.

Oh my god, you are being so shady right now.

I'm being caddy. I'm being Caddy forgetting trauma.

No, I'm gooding. Do you know what actually is like a lot different though, is when I decided no, no.

Yeah, because I grew up begging your mom.

No, I was gonna say what. I decided to bang Josiah's mama. But here's the real thing is that Drew took three shots before we left. Just that I don't.

Even so crazy.

That is one thing that I don't joke about. Okay, I do not die from I don't cauck with drunk driving, and I don't I don't fuck with bus driving. I don't fuck with one beer driving. I don't fuck with one sip of alcohol driving. If you have alcohol in your system and you are behind the wheel, you are making an active choice to kill other people. You are

Should we end the episode because we're like so far? Yes, because we have uh thirty minutes here? Yeah, we have like a bunch all right, Well that was the episode, Thank you so much.

Wait, we gotta do media.

Oh yeah, we have. I always forget media. It's actually crazy because my phone is up there.

Media is the podcast billion Uh huh.

That would never be my media.

Yeah, and you actually told me that today. She said, I've never listened to a full episode of that.

Well I just sneezed in my necker. Yeah, oh, Drew, because you listen to all the episodes.

I don't listen to all of them, but I do listen.

Have you actually listened.

I've never listened to a full episode of Emergency And.

You said you have it.

I have not, okay, because I was lying, because yeah, I mean no, that would be insane if we were listening to each other's podcast. I want to hear it.

It would be even weirder if I was sitting in bed and you guys heard your podcast playing and you put your head to the door and my bed was like, okay.

I actually did see your wing on your bed today, and I was like, oh, actually, and you have had that thing on your bed for like weeks now. And I'm not joking, Like every time I go in your room, it's like in a different place too. It's using it. It's scary. It's like either beside your pillow or underneath your beds.

Okay, I'm gonna explain myself. I actually haven't been using it. I've been very strong, and I swear on my mother's fucking earn I haven't been using it. About that. But I used to hide it between the head the fireplace and my mattress when my mattress was on the floor. I did want to use it. It was easy access, and I don't like putting it in that cabinet because it's hard to open when I just want to like grab it. So I've just been hiding it under my back pillow.

No, we're not, actually, And you guess what I think that you should use your fingers like a real man. That's my take.

Yeah, well that's funny because that's actually what I say to your mom when she's finger blasting me in your car and fucking smells like squirre and piss, And it's because.

Me and your mom are banging. Let me hit that prostigsee with my finger.

Okay, Well my media from what I can recall, Pulse.

With by Aphex Twin and your yours is Billy and Gene.

No mine is Hello, It's me by Todd Grinn. I can't say his name, Grin. And then there's a.

Song Blues by Kid Kala.

Canic Chase by Labby. I can't say his latame.

Either, c O it's you Parallel Universe four Hero that's a deep jungle cut. And if you know, you know, and if you don't know, get learned, because that shit is rare as fuck. And they just put it on Spotify, and You're lucky because I had to do some fucking digging to listen to that album in twenty eighteen, and then Lumerans by Yeve's tumor, who is also did you know he's eighty six years old?

He's eighty four?

Do I get to do my do your men before?

Are you gonna actually say something real? Because I don't think you said anything real leastsion.

No, he's honestly though, I was looking through my Spotify and I was like, I'm writing right now, which means like my Spotify is just full of shit that I don't want anybody knowing because like I'm about to steal and I don't want them to steal it first, So I don't really know. I'm gonna say, watch Lobby. Everything is fair when you're living in the city. What is that I try and called quest? That's a song?

Oh I don't know that song.

That's my song. I'm doing one fucking song and the movie big.

Okay, Well, thank you guys so much for watching. It has been an absolute pleasure.

Oh my god, I'm literally giving Why down't we with my hair? Rais