Men Shouldn't Cry

I'm gonna be sexy and it's just skin and I'm going to show my husband beater. You see what I did there?

Oh my god?

Because I love women? You do?

You hate women? You always like talk about it when the canvas off. Did you get that?

Are you filming it? Yeah?

Yeah, you're done.

Well it's my husband beater, because it's weird to say the other one.

What's the other one?

I don't even want to say it.

I'm gonna fucking hit you, bitch. Welcome to this Oh wait, whatever, fuck you. Welcome to this episode of Emergency in Orcom. Today, Drew is going to apologize for beginning of the last episode by proclaiming his hate for women.

That was they did that I did. It was obviously so edited. They were like jumps and ship and I'm.

Glad you could admit that it's not edited. Insert that clip, okay on it, that's not edited.

It's real.

I just got the idea of like you saying like that was edited, and then like us having to like find it like that wasn't edited. Well, I'm back. I'm back from Paris. Guys. My life is a movie. I actually have to get on another flight tomorrow because my life is a fucking movie's busy. Oh my god, it's just so much. And like, I know everybody's concerned about me because they're like, and yeah, you you just work so hard. You work harder than any person I know. I know that I am in distress, but I will

I think me and Ky are going to unionize against you workers, right.

Hold on, I have to text my fucking lawyer since you want to threaten me on camera, because like, you're not going to do that. You're not going to do that and get away with that.

Wait what there was something I saw, oh Azalea Banks Alana del Rey beef when Azalea was like, oh hold on, it took me a minute to get back to tweeting you or some shit like that because I was like on the phone with my lawyer because you threatened me. And then Lana tweeted back and said, that wasn't a threat, it's a promise, bitch. Literally, I was the best ever.

And then there was fuck. There was I think tweets between Demi and Nikki that I have to find that literally were like insane and someone was like, this is real, like look it up.

But Demi, we always bring this up when Demmy's brought up. But the tweets on nine to eleven about putting an airline on blast will actually forever be one of like the top fifty funniest things to ever happen. On the end, Oh yeah, like easily, like then apologizing right after.

Fuck, dude, I'm never gonna find it. It's oh no, I can't find it. Fuck Or maybe it wasn't Demi and Nikki, but it's literally like it was just them going back and forth on Twitter. I have to find it. It's like I saw a TikTok of the tweet, which is.

Why I bring that up. If you don't have the receipts, cis because I'm sitting here in silence waiting for it. I'll wait, no, wait, I wait.

Well how about this?

Wait I'll wait noted t frog moji, Oh emoji, frog emoji, the frog sipping the te Oh that was the thing.

Is that emoji still around here? That they fucking knew it because of how awfully.

It started around?

And then also the notepad you just tweet the notepad noted.

I missed Twitter, but like I couldn't. It's just not for me. You know what I do enjoy though, is that like TikTok, it feels like I the child or like the parent of divorce and like my like ex is sending me pictures of our daughter, like and that's how I feel about Twitter, is that, like I don't get visiting rights to my daughter, but my husband, who is TikTok, will show me some of her best moments so I don't have to deal with all the problems of like taking care of a child. Yeah.

Yeah, well we were in the trenches of stand Twitter, like on our side accounts, those bitches were fucking lit, Like that was lit as fuck.

You, comparing it to be in the trenches of war, and like Twitter is war, like it literally is the scariest place on earth. It is. I don't like it's the only and I will always say it's the only platform where it was normal for someone to basically knock on your front door and be like you are fucking ugly and I want you to kill yourself. And there was just a whole tab dedicated to that, Like there's just a whole tab where like I could not miss

There is no literally that that's like like the vibes are off today, Like no, you're the vibes are not off. You're just on your age.

But I feel like because there's some people. Okay, first of all, if you're a freak who naturally wakes up at five am, like that is not something to brag about, Like you are like neurologically wired in a way that makes me fearful. Yeah, it's like you and your past life, you were a murderer. You were like running away from the police. Like I don't trust you, Like you're really scary because why why is your genetic code telling you

Yeah, because the lions are going to get Like did lions eat humans in the olden days? Someone fucking said that. I look like an extra to the movie Year One. Do you know the movie Year one? Do you know the movie Year one?

Is that the comedy one? Yeah? Where Jack It takes place in like Caveman.

Yes. Someone literally was like, you look like an extra in Year one, and I was like, I thought I was over like my appearance and like thinking I'm like ugly and disgusting. That triggered something inside of me that like is like that did irreparable damage, like I will never recover fully from that saying that to me.

Okay, I have to watch this because Michael Sarah and Jack Black, are you fucking kidding me? How have I never seen.

This kind of shitty? But it's also like shitty funny.

It wasn't like Kieran Knightley in that too or something.

I'm not sure.

I don't remember, like James Franco.

It was it was like, who is Kiaranikely? Is that the girl from a Game of Thrones?

No, she's from Pirates of the Caribbean.

Yeah, I've never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. That's a lie, I don't I just like I have been saying ship in line?

Is that too? Zoomed in? No?

Okay, it's off center.

But the reason I was saying is I feel like in the past life I suffered from a famish is because that's little too drained. Like no matter how much like nourishment and like feeding and stuff, I get like I am always like slow and sad and drained. So I think I'm just like in my genetic code, I was suffering.

Juno Temple, what I feel, Juna Temple.

Yeah, you're just saying names, Juna Temple.

I love David Kross.

No, who is Juna Temple?

Juno the It Girl, the girl of two thousand and four.

I don't know who this is.

She's five to two. She's from the United Kingdom.

Oh that's why.

Notes on a scandal atonement, The Three Musketeers.

Okay, the three Musketeers. Now you got my ear? Now I got my ear?

Ringing she was a malficent. People who were born in nineteen ninety are like thirty years old. Let that sink in. Okay, just like I just saw nineteen eighty nine, and she's thirty three.

People who are born in nineteen eighty are approaching forty or no, they're already forty. Cool fucking takes from these two people. How about this? I said, how are we still fighting disease?

Diseasy the newest rapper disease fashion collection? Why was Kanye West your fashion collection Disease season nine? Because it was full of disease. Actually, I will say with everything Kanye West has been saying going on recently, he's a psycho and a tweak, but his new collection ate down. Like those silhouettes.

You really like those shirts? Huh?

Yeah?

The White Lives, Yeah, dude, I saw those and I was like, I know, some fucking obnoxious freak who I'm gonna have to murder is gonna buy it because it's like it's funny.

And I'm gonna have to push them off the fucking cliff, Like bitch, you should, yeah, be like, oh my god, I love you. I love your minds, Like I want to pick your brain. We should go on a trip together. And then I kill them and just remember them and leave them.

Way you see the world.

I mean taking out of my cart right now?

Is he selling those?

I don't know?

I mean that's like he better or not?

Who put me on?

Okay?

You know what I'm gonna step in. I'm gonna stop him. I'm gonna call him? Should I call?

I was saying that the other day, like, if Kanye doesn't stop, Andy's gonna have to stop.

I'm gonna call him.

You're gonna have to step in.

Yeah, I said, how are we still fighting diseases? But we get a new iPhone every year? Let that sink in, Like, how am I getting?

How are we at your iPhone? I know it, like the camera iPhone fourteen sucks? Dick.

You can't say that because if someone from Apple is watching and would like to send me another home pop, I'll take it.

Did you get sent that home pod?

No, I've never given anything.

I was like, what the fuck? Why didn't I know that?

But yeah, the new iPhone fucking sucks? But genuinely, how are we getting new iPhones every year? But like we don't have like cures for like almost.

The real answer?

Yeah, the next one.

You know what we were saying while we were getting ready and like it literally sometimes when Drew talks, it sounds like he's trying to catch me in believing something he just made up so that he can make fun of me.

No, no, no, no no, this is just like simple quantum physics, babes. Actually it's not even quantum physics. It's just I saw this fucking video last night of this dude that said, if you put an apple inside of a steel box that no particles can escape, no energy can escape, it'll basically run through all the cycles of possible matter, which is like ten million to the twenty fourth to the twenty fourth power or some shit like that,

And that's why we have diseases. Yeah, and the new we have new iPhones.

No, the big pharma wants to keep us sick literally un ironically.

I believe, why do I give a fuck about what Apple is going to be doing in ten thousand?

Oh my god?

Really Like it's just a fun it's just a fun thought, fun theory. But I truly believe nothing is real anymore. Like I actually I'm like, I'm back on that bullshit where I'm like, okay, like something fishy is going on, the world is magic. And wait that one song by Casey Musgraves.

Oh what.

Don't want to leave? Okay?

Really too good to ficture?

What? And then nays you didn't dude, that's all used to make me cry my fucking ass.

We have been listening to like.

Music, had to give us.

Music on repeat for the last like three days, like biking, what's that Michael Jackson song the.

One I've been Oh love Never felt so.

Lod Love Never felt so good is not the justin Timberlake version, Absolutely not.

It's fucked up dance, Like why did he have to do that?

You have to ruin a master dance like that?

He was at the at the mic like dance like he like jolted towards it when he said that.

But yeah, Biking by Frank's Ocean is top ten song all time, but I don't know what the what the fuck he's saying? Like, really, I don't know.

That's still a song. Dude doesn't know the lyrics too, I.

Know, I like I we listened to it like fifteen times and I was trying my hardest to remember the lyrics.

I just know when the Tyler's verse. Yeah, but you just don't know Frank's I know. Do you know what jay Z says at the beginning?

Yeah? Okay, but it's like also, I have to hear the song to know what they're saying because my brain only works three seconds ahead of time into the few, Like I can't think much further into the future than three seconds, So I literally can't understand what the song is until i'm hearing it.

If that makes sense.

You know, I'm begging.

I'm backing back and slow MOREO.

That song is so fucking good, you.

Know, impossible.

You know how I said that York's new album like that was it like like uh, somebody's or No, I didn't make that joke. Someone else was like, we hit it, we we hit the end of music, like we got to the end of it. No, twenty four care Magic, the album by Bruno mars We also got the end and pit like peak of music, Like, did.

You know Bruno Mars is three to two? He's three foot two, he's three feet tall, yes, and he stands on a little fucking pile of pillows every time he performs.

But what if the pillows fall?

They're green screen so you can't see them. No, he's he's on like a little thing floating above the stage.

Oh yeah, they have him on a harness and they green screen. They render out the strings that are like floating him around, and they add legs. We got the Bruno marskin on Fortnite and me, Josie and Drew have been playing all as Bruno Mars. I literally loved that album so fucking much like I went through like a really crazy Bruno marsies. I think with every single artist I have went through an intense phase where that was the only person I would listen to.

I still remember your Gucci main arc.

Oh yeah, that was good.

What was the what's that one song? Bug?

My hand on the telling last to the judge with my hand on the Bible And I love why folks, I love that line.

Was he.

Oh yeah, he was on that.

I love that song.

But also I just want it to be known that I don't think I can ever go to Paris again other than fashion weeks because I get yelled there at there to like in extreme right every single day I am attacked and I don't know what it is about my person. I don't know, Like I don't know what about me is so unwelcoming that I am being like, why get out of your own water bib.

It hasn't been watered in like literally months.

It's like yeah, but like you're you're wasting my water supply. What if we got fucking like oh oh.

Oh great great, Like why did that happen just now?

You were so fucking set.

It's fucking ruined. It leaked all over the place.

By the way, we are not taking care of these things.

I know we could have auctioned those off for like cancer research in like twenty years and probably made like twenty thousand dollars on them, and we're like twenty they're like done.

But I get yelled at all the time in Paris, I was walking around alone, like also, it's at this point it's like ten forty am like it's not like it's I'm walking around at night alone and I had headphones on and I had just like cut my finger. And I'm only mentioning this because I'm wondering if this is why this man felt enticed to like be a

Walked away, like he didn't say a word, and I was so scared, Like I was like so terrified, and I was like, I know he's not asking me for the.

Time, so I don't know what this is about. But it scared me so much. And he was wearing so many layers, and I was like, Okay, he's gonna blow me up or something like he's literally like he's gonna fucking shoot me. But then I was like, okay, I'm not in the US, Like I don't have to worry about being shot like that. But he did that, and I was so scared that I just like kept walking because I was like, he's like something about the layers

If I was there, I would have protected you.

Oh.

I would have beat his fucking ass. I would have beat him up. No one looks at my girl, No one looks.

Well, what if when he ripped off all the layers it turned out he was Harry Styles and he was just nervous. You go, okay, no, because now he can't do that. You can't do that. What if it was Oscar Isaac, I.

Would have fucked him right then and there.

And yeah, and then that doesn't add all the times I got yelled at in stores.

Well, you were stealing, But like, is that any.

Reason to raise your voice at me?

Yes?

I don't think so.

It was mom and pop shops. There was failing mom and pop shops, and and you stole thousands and dollars thousands of dollars worth.

Of good But okay, it's like y'all think it's okay to target like big friends like.

They built it over years and years in years, like don't steal from them.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like there's just so many people targeting Walmart that I feel like I gotta get down, Like I gotta start doing some ground work.

Yes, and like destroying honestly, like charity work, because you're making them vigilant that you're making them more like, oh yeah.

I'm getting them on their toes. They're feeling too safe and comfortable in their community that they've built. So I just make sure I fly into these cities and I take what I see as mine.

Well, I mean, technically everything on earth is ours. What do you mean just I can have anything I want?

Oh, Like, it's like but why technically? Why is that technically a thing?

I don't have to explain.

My mean, Okay, but the last yelling at me story or but this one actually I got yelled at, Like there's so many more, but this one was just like funny. I was in a shop and I like went there because I'm a freak, and all I do when I'm there is like go to random shops. And I saw that they had farcity jackets. I was like, I'm just gonna walk in here. And I walked in and then I relaxed. It was if Melrose training post got zapped into a random store in Paris, and I was like,

And I was like okay, I know.

She was like you petite, sexy girl. I could see your figure. And then I was like okay, like it's okay. I like big jackets, so I'm just kind of looking at you.

She was like those jackets are too small for me.

And then I was like okay, and I went and looked at pants and then she followed me. She was like, also too big, like those are men's pants, and I was like that's okay. I like big pants, like I just like bigger clothes. And then she was like no, and she was like go over there, like over there is like where your stuff is? And I was like okay, and I like listened to her because I was like the fuck, and I was texting my friend and like kind of looking through, but like I was half assed

At me, Well you deserve it, you deserve all of that.

But I just had to, Oh my god, why are you looking under my skirt? No, I'm not cutting what I was literally telling a story.

No, girls don't really talk to me that often. So like when I'm gonna have a I'm gonna throw up.

Dude, I think I know why girls I'll talk to you why they may not be what you're so chewed for.

You don't give off that inner. I don't give off a vibe. I think birds intentionally ship on cars. They do. Have you ever seen bird ship on the ground?

No?

Have you ever seen bird ship on a car? A million times?

Or is that gum? I can't tell the difference between, like.

Spots on the ground is gum and we're heathens, we're disgusting.

That is something that, like the matter would never change.

Forever for literally ever, is gum plastic? I think it's like petroleum based, which is like the same ship.

It doesn't feel like we should be chewing on something that's is gum petroleum based. I thought it's a petroleum paste and I was like.

What the moder and gum is made of synthetic substitutes for natural rubber, namely Buddha dinas rubber. Iso Beutilene is ultin petrochemical that's generally manufactured from feedstocks in petroleum refinery or chemical plant.

I've circled back to swallowing my gum.

It's fucking lit. That's the only way to do it. I remember when spit your gum out and throw it away in the trash and it's like you can't get like literally same with batteries.

You're not supposed to throw gum in the trash. What are you talking about.

You're supposed to swallow it so you're acids can digest it.

Why did I believe you first one second? Because said something else the other day that I like fully believed. Oh fuck, I wish we recorded this. Me and Josh were sitting on the couch yesterday watching a video together and Drew like caughtlled me.

I called her from the bedroom and I had been back there for like thirty minutes, so I was like.

I'm no, for like an hour, like like we got home, many disappeared.

Yeah. So I was just sitting on my computer watching videos and I called Indya after like an hour of being alone, and I've looked up like car crash sound effect and I was like yeah, and yeah, I took your car. I'm going to like seven eleven, like do you want anything? And then she was like, uh no, when did you? And I was like, oh fuck, And I played the car crash on and it's the craziest sound I've ever heard in my entire life.

And it's like the shortest sound, so like it just kept looping.

No, it didn't loop. It's literally just like but basically I acted like I got Oh my fucking god, I basically acted like I got in a car crash.

He was like, oh fuck, oh fuck.

Like imagine you're getting in this car crash, dude.

And for a split second, I was like, because I didn't believe that what's the car crash? The gappen being Josh cracked up and like because he played it for so long.

I also played it loud as on my speakers that are super loud so they can from the room. It was just it was just a funny little man.

He like just kept playing it. But first split second, my first thought was, why the fuck did this make and just take my car without saying anything to me? Like I believed he did that, And I was like, okay, like, I guess we're like at that point where he's just taking my car. But yeah, that was so funny and I wish there was a camera on that, but you.

Know what, like sometimes moments are meant to happen without a camera.

And be told after ho monetization.

Yes.

Also on that same topic of my my friends being the funniest people on the planet, I played this game and I won't give too much detail, but I played a game where basically you have to be funny with a group of people who like, that's not their job and they are not like funny.

Who I mean? What game?

The Paranoia game?

Oh? Okay, I've never played it, and that sounds like the scariest fucking game ever for me.

I'm not gonna explain the game because I'm a gatekeeper from fucking hell, but.

Basically, you just like everybody knows that game.

I've never heard of it.

Maybe it's an East Coast maybe.

But whatever, I know people who are like I played that game all my life are gonna be like, how are you gonna keep a game? But yeah, bitch, fuck you, yeah.

Go die, I kill yourself. I'm gonna kill myself in three days.

But I'm not gonna explain it also because it's just like too much to explain. But anyway, you basically have to be fucking funny, Like the whole thing is you have to. It's like a what if game, Like you have to make up a funny what if kind of scenario.

You're welcome. I give you so much of myself. I give you every fucking thing.

Can you do that? Adam Driver? Like I wish you were dead, Like do you think you would be good at it?

God?

Why did you do that, like, why did you know? What did you do to your boy?

I wish you were dead.

That's like he was like, you know, like I wish.

You were dead.

No, it's wasn't it. Every day I wake up, but I wish you were dead.

Every day I wake up, right day I wake up.

But it's no, is that the line? Like, let me make sure I.

Got it right before I think? So, it's something like that.

Every day I wake up and wish.

You were Every day I wake up, I wish.

You were dead.

Should we play the clip? Yeah, I've been loving watching people recreate this. Oh, okay, just o.

Every day, every day I wake up, I wish you were dead.

No, I hope you're dead.

Every day I wake up, I hope you were dead.

No, and I hope you're dead.

Every day I wake up and I hope you were dead.

No money, you know, and I hope you're dead like you are.

Every day I wake up and I hope you're dead.

On me You're okay, No, that is hard.

Every day I hope.

Well that's kind of good.

Every day I wake up and.

I hope you're dead, and it's like better than you.

Here sounds like a little bit of like a full saliva mouth, like you know what I'm saying.

You know what mine would be if I was in a long distance relationship and I was really horny, It'd be every day I wake up and I wish I could give you head.

Oh, every day I wake up and I wish I could give you every.

Day I wake up and wish I could give.

You head, and you're yours like kind of sounds.

Like it every day.

It's like he like, women can do it better. Females can do it better.

No, no, you don't. You don't have to, like you could say.

Women, females can do everything better.

I will never wash my fruit. I will just never. I will never be the kind of person who like washes my fruit thoroughly. And I don't give a fuck. And I don't give a fuck about the lick ice cream challenge because I like, I will survive that. Remember going to the grocery store and like licking ice creams?

Oh yeah I did that. Yeah, I would like I would lick the toilet. Then I would go lick the ice cream and try to get people COVID.

Wait, but how would you keep the bacteria on your tongue from the.

Toilet licking the airplane seat toilet challenge, remember that one?

Was that a thing?

Yeah?

But I will never wash my fruit and I don't fucking care, Like what's like bugs, bitch. I'll eat a few bugs, Like, bugs don't bother me unless someone's about to comment and tell me that the bugs that are on the fruit will like actually fucking kill me. Then at that point, like.

The pesticides that you need to wash off. But we buy our fruit from farmer's markets, so we don't have pesticides in our fruit.

Sorry, Drew's off. Drew had to take his nicotine break, so he's standing off camera literally chugging his splash. Why have we not gotten a Fortnite brand deal yet?

Because I don't think they work with anybody ever.

Damn.

I think like the only person ever was like Ninja.

Probably it doesn't feel good to not be needed.

We need our own Fortnite skins, and I know we would actually sell thirty yeah, and they would be like that was like the biggest worst investment we've ever made.

I think we have to. I think the people pay Fortnite for the skins to be on there. Really, yeah, I think so on Like I think maybe, or I guess they would be licensing out.

They probably get like three percent of the sales or something like that. Fuck, how to get your.

Because imagine we could pay for one? Would you pay for it?

Yes?

What's the most? I don't know how much? Would be the most I would pay for a Fortnite skin?

Fuck?

I have my slippers on, so I don't even have a cute fit on right now. Oh this is so embarrassing.

I know this is like the worst fit ever.

Would you just call him out?

Like what?

I don't ever say that ship again.

This is my fucking hook up.

Also, the fact that you'd say that to me as a shaken baby survivor is crazy.

What do you mean you're a shaken baby?

I think I'm a shaking baby survivor.

He said that to be dead ass on the couch.

The other day, and I did, what are the symptoms of you being that?

Me?

Just how you are you baby survived being shaken?

Yes? Some do? Hello, I'm right here.

That was so gnarly some do. Okay, I'm done with you bitches. Sorry, I have to read you stop saying things that we have to fucking cut bitch mom shure I'm oh my god, leave that in.

If you cut that, you're fired.

Fuck.

Okay, here's a theory. Are not a theory a hypothetical for you. So you're in the hospital and one of your family members is like really violently ill, like you all know, like they're gonna pass away soon. Yeah, no, you know they're going to pass away, so and you don't realize that, like they're passing away but you know, or you don't know when they're going to pass away, but you know they're going to pass away, and you're

I saw that. I don't think I would care that much. Yeah, I'd be like, dude, you like, because as you were saying that, I thought about, like, dude, humans are so fucking crazy because to have a job where like your job is to be with people as they're passing away, and then you just like, well go home and make tiktoks and like buy like makeup and stuff. Yeah, like you just like you just like live a normal life

Yeah, like on my dead family members. By the way, that's a real thing that happen.

H it is a real thing that happened. And like, I'm sure there are people who are like that's unacceptable, But personally, I don't know if I would mind. I've had worse things done.

I would just be like, don't do that. Yeah, I'd like.

Maybe don't do that to someone else, because like you will lose your job and everything you like love, But like I don't mind. Did you have like charges pressed against her for that?

Yeah, I think like thief like theft charges or something, and probably something more like tampering with a dead body or some shit.

I don't know where she get the wallet. The wallet wasn't in their like pockets.

It's probably just in the room, Yeah, probably somewhere laying around.

Yeah, I don't I don't think I would mind because I'm like you know what. I wasn't there to hold my whoever's hand. Thank you for being there. Now go eat those redos, Now go have that. Let me get a bite. Though, that's the game changers, Like will she be leaving some of the crumbs the corner of the back so I can rip it all?

No crumbs?

Though?

She did her damn thing. She did what she had to do.

What was it that Lucas asked me yesterday when we were playing Fortnite? He was like, Oh, would you rather have an eye patch or a peg leg?

Mm hmm.

So this is like Pirate times, like which were are you picking? I picked peg leg?

Is my eye gone?

Your eye is gone?

Can I take the eye patch?

You were attacked by another pirate at sea and your eye is gone?

Yeah?

No, it's literally it's like it's like Pirate Sleigh, like, would you rather have an eye patch or a peg lug?

Eye patch? I feel like it's more iconic, but the peg leg is kind of sick pegla. Imagine's fucking pegging someone with your leg and just like fucking their ass with you.

Mm hmm.

That was good, yeah, damn mm hmm.

But I would say, you know what I would do, is Mike. I would get like the baddest wood carver in all of the Olden Land to carve lit ass designs into my fucking wooden leg. And I would have different legs for like a different sleigh, so like I would have like I would have like a name plate leg.

Oh okay, I'd have a solid gold leg.

That would be heavy. And you don't seem like the strongest person ever, So I would.

Think I would be big in the olden days.

You think you would be big?

Yeah, I would definitely get scurvy. I would live get scurvy. I'd be like, give me the candy, fuck the oranges.

You're gonna get scurvy now.

Oh, yesterday in the market, we were looking at meat because we made curry last night, and we were looking at meat and Drew was like, I just shouldn't be putting anything that color in my body, as if this motherfucker doesn't eat hot Cheetos, like at least that's a natural, like god given color.

Like how are they how are they getting the color in the hot cheetos? Is it from the Beatles?

Yeah, they grind up Ringo Star, He's infinitely.

No, the Beatles will never not be funny. I'm so sorry the Beatles, bitch, Why did you pick that name?

Because it's like the beat We're like the Beatles, like the beat we bring.

Them have they said why they picked that name?

It's literally the beat tools b e A T.

That is not Is that not how you spell beatles?

It's oh wait, no, beatles. A bug is spelled b e e T.

I thought that's how you spelled the Beatles.

Yeah, no, it's b e a T l e es. Oh my gosh.

Why did they name themselves the Beatles. They took the idea of naming themselves after an insect like the crickets, but changed the spelling for a pun on musical beats.

Oh. I actually think it's for a different reason. I think they named them that because they beat it up.

Oh they tear that Yeah, say it, go ahead, say it. I just like, don't feel like I'm allowed to say the word as a man.

You're not allowed to say pussy. No, probably, yeah, you probably aren't allowed to say one until you've seen one. I think that is like the pissy pussy thoughts and let me have a you're giving you're serving messy boots.

Wait, why am I giving messy Boots all day to day? Like all day has been messy Boots. I'm messy Boots.

Yeah, that name is funny. The Beatles, but every like I don't know if there's like any band name that necessarily I feel like it's fucking lit sauce, like someone needs to themselves.

The Radioheads.

Okay, Radiohead is good. Radiohead is really good. But one direction isn't very good.

Sucks.

We're only going up.

Yeah, the only direction is up.

I'm trying to think of other ones, like Always in the Wall is pretty good. But when I think of poison, I think if they're like, oh my, but that's really good. I stand corrected and I'm like, what is my feet hit fucking puddle that you're created by fucking watering his plan in.

The middle of the episode, Well, I did what.

It has been with us for so long.

It's like the og og plant. Wow, it's been with us since the beginning. Wow.

Yeah.

Also one of the plants in the crib, like one of the four philodantrums have been.

With us since the vine plants.

Yeah, from the beginning. Yeah, I take care of my babies where I moved the new fig I moved it in front of the cords instead of the blankets. It covers part of the TV. But I'm like, I will put up with that for beauty. We need to furnish our fucking house so bad.

We're not moving, Yeah we are because also y'all would like, I don't know what to do about the set. I think we should just like blow up this house. But the thing is, like, think about this, someone else would live here and just like not no, not not know what.

This corner meant two thousands true the history of this corner.

What if they found out that we pay for like viewers and AI robots to be in like the community of our fans, and then, like everybody who watches this and has made friends, they find out later that it's like a paid a I like situation. Do you think they would hate us or would they be like, you know what, Like I could look past that and like, yeah, I had like I had love.

Very dystopian vibes, that is all.

It's I'm actually about to ship myself, by the way, Like you know, when you have to poop really bad and then like you start sweating a little. That's the position I'm in at the moment.

Have you ever thought about like why humans cry? Like, have you ever ever thought about like the act of crying? Well, as a man, I don't cry, but like.

Wait, your morals seem a little messed up because like you're like super feminist, super straight. Okay, I'm.

What's a problem with that?

And then you don't cry?

Yeah, okay, because if you cry, you you're a pussy.

Yeah, no problem with saying it there, I know.

But have you ever thought about crying? Like why do we leak water from our fucking eyeballs? Weird?

What's like the evolutionary reason exactly?

It's to clean our eyeballs.

Maybe it's to show that we're sad so we can build our little villages and communities.

You know what freaked me out is watching how To with John Wilson and then the episode.

Yeah, we'll move on from that thought.

No, it has to do with it, Okay, No, keep going. No, you want me to be silent, I'll be fucking silent.

And also laughing transcends, transcends language barriers.

Yeah, I'm so sure. True.

I feel like you're right though, Oh my god, that has to be it, like just to show so that you can connect with someone and then like it builds community in the tribe to be like they also, but mm.

Hm that's our version, except I do sniff ass like when I meet people I like, I like go.

It's fucking weird when we're out, like when she meets someone, like even in the fucking club shows, can I get a sniff of your bike? You know what? In the club?

It sucks because like there's so many other sense that it like kind of throws me off. And then that's why I forget people's name. So if I ever forget your name, it's not because I don't like like you. It's probably because we met in a setting where I couldn't like smell your fucking anal glands properly. But in an episode of How to John Wilson, they he meets somebody whose job it is to make like warning and like labels and just like signs that will transcend language.

I don't even know what I'm crying is. It's low key.

Why do you move your hands when you talk like that?

I'm an expressive talker. I move my hands with conviction and purpose and passion to convey that I hold the power in the conversation.

Oh yes, but yeah, that that like just circling back to the idea that like there are just certain things that really do transcend language.

Laughing, Why do we laugh? Laughs are so cute? Actually? Why do why do we laugh? What is also the evolution?

Curious if everybody, like at least two to three times a week has a moment where they like laugh till they almost cry. Because I get that all the time, and I've said this, I like, literally all I do is repeat myself on this podcast.

I feel like most people don't have that.

Yeah, most people don't. And like, I think that's also why something like TikTok and the Internet is just so popular, is because laughing is so addicted.

Like two times a week I will cry, but I'm not laughing to get there.

You know, I was meaning to say this before we started, but like, don't say shit like that on the podcast, because.

Yeah, it's funny.

You're like killing like you're killing the algorithm.

So that.

Yeah, I'm sorry. You should get like a therapist or something, but we can talk about it.

What laughter can be traced back ten to sixteen million years ago.

Oh, there's not that much time. Come on, there has not been that much time. Are you kidding me?

Six you said sixteen billion million?

Oh bitch, I thought you said billion. Okay. There has been.

Linked to higher pain tolerance and signaling of social status. Its principal function appears to be creating and deepening social bonds. As our ancestors begin to live in large, more complex social structures, the quality of relationships become crucial to survival. Okay, so that's basically what I wrote down.

You wrote that down. That was just like a thought you had.

Yeah, that's how I wish like in high school I was able to speak on discussion boards like like that. I don't know if that makes sense. Did you have discussion boards?

No? What is that?

It was like you would like read a book and then there would be like essentially like the equivalent to Reddit, but like the school version on like a closed network, and you would like the teacher would ask a question and it would be a discussion board and you would like have to post three of your thoughts responding to different people and their thoughts, and.

Like, dude, I remember that show. I always used to look at the people that I had to crush on and read theirs and be like where are they at?

Like ye, actually your thoughts?

Yeah?

Yeah, because you're what is it called, you're attracted to only intelligence?

Oh I'm sapia. I am actually sa sapio. Sexual.

You have to be fucking to be any kind of sexuality though right, No, you.

Don't have to. You don't have to be fucking. You don't know, you don't you can identify as a sexuality. But maybe you're not smashing, but.

Like you like you haven't like no one who is like intelligent has like shown you love back.

So how hello?

It's like hello, true is exhibit A exhibit A using him sexually?

Does not?

Jay just text me in and out question marks A fucking luke.

Can you get me some French gosh give.

Me friends podcast? Yuh wait? I won't be able to fucking eat it because to go to the fucking gym. I don't want to go to the fucking gym. I hate the fucking gym. I don't like it anymore. I hate it.

He changes his mind like three times a day.

I hate it.

So he's going to come back and be like, dude, I'm so pumped up. After that, that felt fucking awesome because that's literally me.

I went to the gym. I was like I hadn't been sleeping for like the last week, like I think two days ago. It was the first day that I got like actually real sleep. I've been getting like three to four hours a night, and like actually fucking dying, Like I thought I was literally dying, and I would I would force myself to wake up and or like go to the gym really fucking early, to my personal trainer, and I was like a shell of a human in

But so maybe that should be motivation to go.

No, I don't want to go to go and get those because we have to do another fucking podcast after this, and then we have to do fucking stupid ship after this.

What's the stupid ship?

You? Yes? Uh night?

What was I saying before that?

I don't know.

I was doing the thing where I'm waiting for you to stop talking so I can keep talking. But then I started listening, which is the biggest mistake.

You can make. You know, you could have a response.

No, why would I do that? You know what? Wait? I did? I said, go to the gym, bitch.

Yeah, And I won't say what.

I think you should go.

Oh my god, let's.

Just say you've got some work to do on your appearance.

Sorry, I'm texting Josh to get Cheesebogo fries and a coke?

Can you get me some animal staff lies?

Ask Josh? Because I'm not the one sis Okay.

I don't know why you can't for me.

Like, can you get in yet animal style fries? Question mark, I'll give you money.

We've taken so many breaks. Just time to refrsh your brain.

I have nothing else to say.

I had an idea for the podcast. I stand right here in front of the camera, and then you guys just take turns kicking me in there in the way in the nuts.

You get off on that.

No, I don't get off on that. I just think it would be a cool idea for this.

I don't like what what about that is? Like cool?

Don't you guys think that would be cool? No?

I would have fun doing it, but.

It would make me look like, like, imagine how funny would be if I was like doubled over in pain and you guys maybe even continue to kick me while I was on the ground.

What is happening?

I don't know. I'm just saying, like it's an idea, and then maybe you could get some dirt and like throw it in my face.

He's gonna clean it up.

I'll clean it up and maybe while I'm cleaning up you yell at me and throw on you tomatoes or eggs or pissed.

That sounds like it's coming from your end, like you just want to piss on someone.

Yeah, I admit it.

Yeah. Is that something you guys would be interested in?

Or is that like we're gonna we're gonna have to think about that, yeah.

Because that doesn't sound like can you please just say yes right now?

Oh my god, Like why are you like leave us alone? Let us like figure it out, Okay, all right.

I don't know if it's because I'm back on TikTok in like full swing, but I'm so overstimulated all the time. I like need those dopamine hits. Like my little black box in my pocket is always like pick me up, pick me up, for no reason, right now, do it right now? And I said there, like, yeah, I pick it up. And I don't have a reason.

To I yesterday got stuck in a loop on my phone, which means that there's like I don't want to keep watching tiktoks. I don't have any YouTube videos I want to watch. There's nothing happening on Instagram dot com, which is the worst thing ever like, Okay, we need to figure something out. Like there always has to be something

Like where are the dms? Where the where are the people?

Where are the ig stores? Where are the close friends? Where are my close friends at? Like I need my close friends to be posted.

I took you off of mine?

Oh my god, why I.

Don't fuck with you anymore? You did me dirty?

You know what, That's okay because I can disconnect like my Instagram relationships from my true I can't world in relationships, So I don't I think you still love me in person?

Yeah you think that's the thought.

Having a thought, but yeah, and then I get stuck in a loop board like there's nothing like interesting me, but I can't get off my phone. And then what's really bad about that for me personally is that means I'm biting the skin on my fingers and I'm like fucking destroying my fingers. But I can't get off my phone, and I know getting off my phone would make me get off my fingers. So usually what I do is then get I get on Fortnite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And

I'm always like, damn, Like, my screen time today was only three hours. I fucking slayed and then I played eight hours of Fortnite. Like looking at another screen and watching YouTube videos on my iPad.

There's always a screen to be watched.

That's the scariest fucking thing. I know we've said it before, but really, really fucking think about that. Like ninety percent of your day is filled with looking at some fucking screen. Like it's terrifying.

I have a few books.

Oh my gosh, Like I read books.

Do you read books?

Yes, yikes, you don't read books. I read books.

Embarrassing.

There's a screen right there. There's a screen right there. There's a screen right there, a screen right there. Crazy, there's a screen right there.

To the outside world. Think about that. Windows are just another screen.

Yeah you ever thought about that? Fun?

I don't think it's that big of a deal. And I don't really like care like that there's like so many screens to be watched because it's not like destroying my life.

I destroying my life.

I could be in a fucking famish like my ancestors, because you know how I said I came from Wait what, Like like I think about, like, okay, what's worse, like me being stuck on my iPhone or like me being stuck eating corn like kernels that I found like on dirt because there's no other food for me, Like you get me, where.

Did that come from?

I'm just saying, like it's like because you know how early in the episode, I was saying that I came from famish, and my DNA tells me you know, and you're like, yes, you were stuck to your iPhone and like paralyzed on your bed right now, but in your past life you were digging through the dirt for like a rock that was soft enough to eat.

Minerals Females Limen's inherent need to look at a screen all the time comes from gathering DNA.

You think only women use their like screens, but you just said you use your screens.

I was fucking lying. My god, Jesus, why are you.

Like yelling at me? You I know you were about to say that.

I really thought it was you saw my double deck. I really thought it wasn't recording. I always had.

If it wasn't recording, I would just.

Another episode.

With that being said, next week is our last episode before we go on a two week break, So keep that in mind. And honestly, that two week break might become a fucking in definite break.

Because a respecting us anymore?

Yeah, where's the love and respect?

Where's the news in the media? Literly?

So if you guys want to speck it, you have to make eight everybody, everybody watching this has to make eighteen thirst tiktoks about me, me too, a a lot and me okay.

Like, honestly, we should let him have it, little guy.

Really, no, we were he was fucking joking.

Damn I want my cherry vanilla coke so fucking bad right now.

That is going to be one of the first things you consume in the day. Be making fun of you like I did eat milano cookies and kit kats for breakfast. Yeah, milano cookie is a form of breakfast. I remember one time somebody who I was seeing told me that, like a pastry is a breakfast item, because remember you were there when that happened. Because I was like, Oh, I'm gonna get donuts and then I'll save one so I

Girl power, come here if you want that donut, have that fucking donut, do you know what I mean?

Can get what you want, But you're a fucking freak if you don't have like a little sweet thing for breakfast, Like okay, no, actually, then now that's pissing me off, because how the fuck is a donut not breakfast? But I could go to fucking some random spot in LA and get fucking cherry blossom waffles with strawberry bananas and

Where are the crumbs? I want a crumb? But you had them all.

Where are the Crumble cookies. I'm gonna blow that factory up.

Crumble cookies. No, they're like they're good.

They're really not had a Crumble cookie.

It's like a delicacy in Texas. I've had it like a hundred times. My parents love Crumble cookies.

Of course that shit comes from fucking text.

I don't know if it comes from Texas, but there's one like if we drive forty five minutes for our crumble cookies, swear to God, we drive to Fort Worth. Isn't that fucking crazy? It's a lit ass thing. Okay, I'm cutting this episode short right now. We're cutting it right now. We're getting in the media. You are more, well, what is there supposed to like? Actually, what are you supposed to do in Texas? Like you see, you've seen my hometown. What are you supposed to do there?

Read a book, expand your mind.

Beat my meat, Like that's literally all there is to fucking do. I swear to God, on on on God.

What Okay, here's my media of the week.

Yeah, ride by Lana del Rey. I'm trying to think of them off the top of my head.

You can go no, sometimes I look at you and I realize, like, you're a real person here, and then I try to imagine you dead because that like makes you realer, and then it scares me. Do you have that like like in my head? Sometimes when I'm like around people, I'm like, this doesn't feel real. But then I imagine having to like bear the trauma of seeing them in a coffin, and I'm like, oh, they are real.

That's never happened to me. But what like kind of the same thing. But I when I like look at people too long in their eyes, they lose all life inside of them and they don't look real for after a while, and then like I have to.

No, no, no.

Like that's happened to people. Like we've had this conversation on the podcast before, when you're like, you realize someone's like real lot, but because I want to kill them. Oh Daisy by Strawberry Machine Yup Before Today twenty fifteen remaster Everything About the Girl Such a good song and then sorry, good.

I put something in my neck while I was working out the other day, and now when I like move my neck a certain way, whatever, like vain or something is right here hurts so bad.

And then start so.

Hard one of these days that it ruptures and I fucking die. But what was the last song?

Smiling Off by Black Dice?

What?

Why are you laughing?

What? Andy said? It was funny?

Are we gonna play fortnite? Oh no, we can't.

I don't have time. We need to end this now, bitch.

Okay, here is my media of the week. Pillow Talk by Sylvia, which I've already said, catch me by Pretty Poison, Miracles by Alex g.

Don't fucking ever interrupt me again, Daniel B'goalie's a fucking lit bad Baby.

Morning by Asimo Asmoth, Never can say goodbye bye Jackson five, and then Baby Be Mine by Michael Jackson. All Right, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode. Next week will be our Halloween special.

It's gonna be our Halloween special. It's gonna be our last episode for two weeks because we're going on vacation because, as you can tell from this episode, we're losing it, we're losing some steam, we're freaking the fuck out. So but while we're on our break, we're gonna be recording an episode though, and we're.

Probably gonna h our plane is gonna crash into the fucking ocean, and you'll know we hear from us acond.

Have we told? Should we tell them where we're going? Y'all, We're going to somewhere because.

Y'all are trying. Y'all are fucking sockers.

Yeah, y'all will follow us up, freak me out. No, we Oh, it's gonna be fucking lit. When y'all find out where we go, y'all are gonna be like, what the fuck?

So random and cool, these.

Random par okay fucka

Mm hmmm