Welcome back to this episode of Emergency in Chaircom. Oh, Drew, you said it wrong. It's like the good old days. It's like the good old days. Welcome back to Emergency Intercom.
I think while you do this episode, I'm just gonna use my phone so that they're because I was thinking, like, there's a lot of footage of me talking and being intertwined in conversation, but there's not enough footage of me just like ignoring people to committing committing and sitting and using my phone in.
Front of people. But okay, so I wanted to start this episode off by saying I think I have Parkinson's or so I'm like pre diabetic, right, or I think I have pre diabetes, but I think I have pre Parkinson's because my pointer finger has been shaking a lot lately.
Okay, So no, yeah, I know you. You can't just keep thinking of things that you think you haven't claiming to the public that you have them. I think I need somebody to go through and do like a check of how many like different like diseases or medical issues you've claimed to have publically, because I'm not kidding, I think you've maybe surpassed.
Ten black mold poisoning, Parkinson's.
Pre diabetes, and you claim to.
Have diabetes, cancerous tumors, yeah, middling my body.
You also claim that you were experiencing was it when you lose oxygen?
So you're like, oh, hypoxyay.
You claim hypoxy. I know there's more. There has to be.
More, no, But in all seriousness, my pointer finger has been shaking and I've done some uh google searches, done some research, and I think it's like muscle dystrophy from scrolling on my phone too much. And I'm not kidding because all of it was like, oh, it's like muscle over use. Like it's like people's fingers shake sometimes if they like have like over use of it.
You know what's craziest Sometimes like I have two fingers on my hand after I hang out with your mom that literally won't stop shaking.
My god.
Sometimes it's three if we're like feeling crazy, but it's usually just.
Two from what like y'all scroll like I'll do some parallel play like scrolling on a phone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've the pink five in the stink.
Oh my god, isn't it?
I said? Someone up for a slam dunk just now with some parallel play play where you say, oh, yeah, me and your mom have been parallel all night long after I was fingering her and no one grabbed it.
Why why would we say that, Like the parallel play joke already existed on it up. Yes, that is exactly what I was doing with your mother in bed.
Well that's what you were inferring though.
Should I show you the TikTok that actually freaked me the fuck out last night?
No? Okay, Wow, well you're gonna do it anyway, So it's not like I have an option, dude.
This okay? So we all know that, Like, there are couples online who dedicate themselves to making content for young people who were like, oh I wish my parents didn't fight, and they looked like this, like that's what iPhones were for. Actually, I've thought about this a lot, Like I feel like we all grew up in a generation where there was no parent vloggers, Like there was two there was a Sha Tarf and Sha Tars, but C TFX. You didn't have kids, so it was kind of just like the
Sha Tards that you had to like watch. But other than that, obviously there was always like TLC and all that stuff that showed parents, but the amount in which there was like an influx of quote unquote like awesome parents online. I think I would kill myself if I had to see this many parents who were like somehow
so emotionally like morally sound? Does that make sense? Like I would be so jealous if I was growing up and I was like thirteen and I was following Charlie Demilio and I had to see her parents all the time, Like I'd be like, damn, I guess you just have the best life ever. You dance, you sing, You fucking have parents that love you.
She is literally living your seven year old's dream life.
Yeah, like what, but I will say my parents obviously loved me. Hello, That's why I got That's why I have a podcast because my parents loved me.
So oh fuck, that's like a crazy reference. So last night I was sitting on the couch. Sorry, I like, am taking my life Bay, that was a great transition, And I just ruined it by saying that was a great transition. And I'm still going you can't like you'd need no, I'm so good at it a transition, You're like, I am literally so good at it. Most of the time, but sometimes I like to be like that was a good trendsiption.
Your transitions and conversation, or like when you were writing, like your first essays, and they would be like and therefore, like that's how you would start the last paragraph or like the next paragraph, because you always go end on that note.
And no, you're not you know what, You're right, You're right, and I will fix that. Which is also something that a lot of really smart people do is when they're wrong, they change their mind. So you're right, I'm smart.
So are you just saying that?
We were watching this video or I was watching this video on the couch, and it was like, legitimately one of the most devastating stories I've ever heard a human have to go through, and I do not know how she is surviving putting up and it's like life is so unfair, and I feel so horrible for this woman because like I won't get into the details because it's not my fucking story to talk about, but it was just it was such a dark, dark tragedy that struck
her family, and I feel so bad. But at the end of her story, she.
Started clip from like a random podcast.
Yeah, yeah, she started getting like choked up. She was like like get it obviously because she was reliving these horrible extreme grief. Yeah. And then she was on a podcast and the guy was like, do you need a moment? And I was like, oh, respect, Like we can turn the cameras off. I was like respect, like that's what you should do. Like she's crying, like give her a moment, and she's like no, no, it's like honestly, like really
great to talk about. And then the guys rebuttal to her horrifying story and was like, yeah, no, like I believe that, Like that's why I have a podcast, Like she.
Just sat in here, was like had to witness the gnarliest shit any human ever has had to witness. And then she's going on to talk about it, like somehow gets darker because she's like, yeah, no, it's good to talk about it because I don't talk about it. I'm just sitting in my head thinking about it all the time. So that's the moment where you like granted hard conversation to have to like talk to because like, how do
you relate to sung like that? And I feel like most people when they're talking about something hard, like your instant thing is to relate.
And like when I lost my praying mantis, it was that's why.
And when my bug died, yeah, but him going, yeah, and that's why I have a podcast. Actually, Like she's literally crying everyny and he's like, and that's why I do the things I do. Like that is so fucking crazy. Also like having a podcast, I don't know, having a podcast where you just it's like that guy who talks to people who are houseless and just puts them on camera, Like that's the same idea of like, yep, and that's why I do the good things I do for the world, like.
Explaining you people like, yeah, it's really but I eat up unfortunately unfortunately.
But I don't know how I was talking about this, but basically, yeah, it's this couple who it's also like military propaganda.
Is this And we're transitioning to another topic.
Now, Okay, I don't need to go to bed early. We don't even need to eat dinner this early. We absolutely do.
You're literally the sleepiest girl that I learned that it's five four.
We need a bed You need a bedtime. You know, you know I need a bedtime. I am your elder sir, you should be listening to me. I am wizard. Do you want me to tell you something that I've been doing to you? You don't even know. I've been making your dinner time early.
I actually I can't keep watching this.
Did it was really really really freaking me out, Like this page.
And we do this like we're doing this one.
I didn't want to read it.
My husband before and after I call him handsome and it's like him just looking at her and then like the same frame, but he's smiling that I want to do that with your smile.
You do.
It's a genuine as TikTok, like no.
The thing is what's freaking me out is I'm like, you, okay, obviously they have to have love for each other. There's no way they fucking like, no way.
I'm like, I don't know what the problem is.
I don't know.
I felt I feel like I've been blessed to have very intense, romantic and platonic relationships. Never once has it been this fucking deep, like never once. But maybe I'm missing something in life because never once time I found myself slipping into like absolute baby gibberish like delusion Mama happens and you love someone. Yeah, I was watching that last night and it was dude. It made me feel
so weird. It made me feel like I was like locked in an airport bathroom, but I was too nervous to call for help.
Well, I can do one better for you. I won't be able to find their profile, so actually I won't be able to do one better for you. But there is like a very similar like it's like a genre of content where they like act like like it's like they saw the word like, oh, he has Golden Retriever energy and they based an entire career and their entire relationship off that Golden Retriever energy.
Like do you think people who make content like that are happy?
I don't think so. I think they like argue more than most people. It's like it becomes like a job, Like I feel like Madeline and Steven do like a great job at.
Like That's what I was just about to say, but I didn't know if it was gonna be like inappropriate because I'm trying to find the words to describe it, because I feel like there's that side of couple content where it feels so forced and so catering to like very young people but then there's like the other side, where like there are couples who just film each other and they're like a funny couple or like they get into like little silly things and sometimes they'll like plan
little things for the camera, but like it never feels forced. But then I'm like, am I just biased? Because I actually know Steven and Madeline are actually happy, So in my head, I never see their content and I'm like, they fucking hate each other. I'm like, no, I know, they like actually have like a really good relationship. But then I see this and for some reason, I'm like, oh, they hate each other. Like I'm like, they they cannot
love each other. But also maybe that's me projecting my like very scary ideas of relationships on to people, and I should stop because people can be happy and make their content and there are thousands of dollars off of micro trends love yourself. That's my worry. That's what I got out to last night.
Okay, so AI has gone too far, or maybe it's just getting started, because listen to this. People are predicting by the end of the year that AI will be able to translate and transcribe and trans code animal languages, so we'll be able to communicate with animals.
The thing is, I don't believe that, because how do we prove, like literally, how do we prove that?
Like what, it's all snake oil? Everything? Everything is snake oil. Nothing actually is existed.
Yeah, that's like yeah, it's not like it's morse code, like we don't have humans to translate it. It's just sounds. And we're like, okay when he does that, he usually does this, so I'm thinking he's saying that, what.
Did you translate your dog's thoughts? And it's just I want backshots.
Oh no, I said that were he was like, I hear you.
I hear you, I can hear you.
We were talking about Azol and we were like, it would be it would suck so fucking bad to like have this technology and you like want to hear what your animal is saying, and they're like, free me. I went out.
I went out.
I hate this. This is a prison scaring me. I'm so scared, Like I don't actually love you, I only want food from you.
I've thought about that a lot because every time I go into my room and Azol sitting in my bed, I'm like, oh my God, this is so awesome. I had this loving creature who's like literal only job is to love me, and I'm like, oh my god. Humans are literally so fucking selfish because this is an animal that should be roaming free. And I'm like, thank god, I get to hold you captive in my bedroom all fucking day and I can ignore you when I want but see you and I like want to and it's so so like
what's it called? Like it's only benefiting me. But then when a zool chases after me all night and yells at me to go to bed because he wants me to sleep because he wants to go to sleep, I'm like, that cat has to love me.
Yeah, no, there's love there. And there's like this idea that cats like domesticated humans like like yeah, they were able to do everything they wanted to do on their own, and then they like stumbled into like a fucking village one day and then like they were like, oh, we get like a free chicken carcass and we don't have
to do shit. And then like eventually, over time, like the cats domesticated slowly and slowly, but so did the humans, and we started like serving them and like it's like almost like a symbiotic relationship because like we get happiness and they get food.
Yeah.
Have you ever read the theory that caffeine plants is like the true dominant organism on.
Earth caffeine plants.
Yeah, like coffee, Yeah, because we like we like put so much resources into and we like cut down forests and like there's like I don't know millions of people that just like work on like coffee fields, and like if you look at the amount of resources, like it mostly we are exactly Yeah, damn, that's crazy. They won from like an evolutionary survival brainwashed us.
That's so lit. Why did they add?
Cain got us so good? We have shirts about it, Like we literally have like we have like ig posts dedicated to they got me so good?
That weed too.
I literally won't I won't talk to somebody until I've had my coffee.
Oh like more literally and is actually drinking her coffee right now so she can't talk to somebody.
It's actually so grumpy until she had that big cup.
Big gold, big gold slurpee straw.
That it actually is insane. I've thought about it so much. I've been drinking caffeine consistently since I was like ten. Yeah, I've spent more of my life with coffee in my system than I have without it.
Like my daughter and he doesn't drink water.
She only drinks coffee from inside the fucking house.
He has nuclear orange. Every time she goes to the bathroom, I just tell her, like, don't flush, I just need to see it, and she leaves it in there, and.
It's trying to make me. Look at his pa yesterday.
Because it was the most clear it has ever been, and it was almost concerning how clear. It literally looked like I poured a cup of water into the toilet, and I was impressed with myself. I was like, come, look at this, like this is a vibe.
I'm gonna do that next time I make a big stinky poops, Like look, I've actually almost done that before.
Dude, Yeah you should next time because I'll take that poop out of the toilet and make like poop sushi, like the poop poop platter. It's like a gimbop, but with poop.
That is that going to be your next waiter attack or are you going to ask for poop?
Yeah? I was at a We went to like a nice restaurant last night for your sister's birthday, And I was gonna. I was gonna. I was trying to come up with a new Tom Hollenberger. Hold the fries or hold the spiders? Like I said, aqua Man, hold the aqua? I said Wednesday atoms hold the cobwebs. But like I'm trying to think of another one. What what did I say say? Like I asked for the Can I get the poop sushi roll?
What does Thanos collect the jewels? Yeah, you should ask for the Thanos.
Can I get the purple Nurple Thanosburger? Hold the Infinity Stone? Yeah, there's there's like a good one out there that's like obscure enough but like also mainstream enough that people will know what I'm talking about. Can I get the Gypsy rose Burger? Hold the Munchausen biprocy syndrome sauce? Yikes?
Yeah, no, she's done. She's literally done.
It is so funny, like how quickly the Internet turned on her, and there's validity to it all. She did technically have someone kill someone, which is insane, But at the same time, you poke a bear, the bear is gonna attack And I don't know, but I saw some clips where it was like her talking in like an interview, saying like yeah, like when I would be talking, my mom would like grab me and like squished me to make me. Did that hurt? Yeah? Did I get that?
It?
Like I felt it. I felt like the attendant, but she would like grab me and like have me stop talking. And then like an interview came out recently with her husband where they were like in an interview and she went up and like like squeezed his arm or squeezed his leg when he was talking about something she didn't want him to talk about. And they were like, damn, dude, like those values like you really are what raised you to a certain extent because like mega, yeah, she's literally
doing the exact same thing. But like, obviously, I don't think this man is like entrapped by Gypsy or it's scared that he can't leave. But like Gypsy even said it herself. She was like, I'm like a master manipulator, Like I'm a liar, Like I am like the best liar I know, like because she had to do it to survive, to grow up. So everyone was like, I mean, she's probably doing a little bit of that to us.
I mean, she's also like, dude, that whole thing is just so in and us talking about it makes me crack up because we're just like feeding into like the endless feed that is her. But the whole thing I was watching I think I said it already on the podcast.
I was watching the Lifetime thing and they were trying to turn it into some real housewives reality show shit where the husband was sitting down with the with her parents before she got out of jail, before they got married, to like meet the parents before he married her, and right before that scene they literally showed that she I think you've heard the clip where she tells her husband,
I just think you need to know. I had a dream last night where my ex came back, not the ex who's in jail, but like she had someone she was seeing while she was in jail before this guy, and she was like, yeah, my ex came back and I left you for him, and I was so happy
in the dream. And then he was just like, oh, why did I don't know what to say to that, and she was like, I just thought you should know, and then there was like kind of silent, and he was like, when's the last time you talked to him, and she goes three weeks ago and he he was like, what you told me? You haven't spoken in for months and she was like, no, three weeks ago.
Oh my god, what was up with? What we're gonna say?
I was just gonna say, like they are scary, Like there, I mean, every relationship I'm sure has its little qualms God bless, but I don't know, it's so funny.
You should not be in the public eye. And like you said, we'd just feeding into it by talking about it. Yeah, whatever, But she just needs literally, like actual help.
Like we should send her to Iceland, she.
Should come on the podcast. Yes, that's why we have a podcast.
Yeah, that's why we have a podcast to help people like her because people need to hear her story. I think if people heard, they would understand what.
Is up with people in twenty twenty three twenty twenty four starting new relationships with people that look just like their family members, like Gypsy Roe's husband or boyfriend or whatever they are looks like Blanchardiana, Frankie Grande or Ariana Grande is dating someone who looks just like her brother.
Isn't that like the Freudian thing? Like there's a theory that a lot of people will just date someone who looks like a family member because it's like for comfort. So maybe they just need comfort.
But they never got the love from their father.
Maybe they really wanted to bang their family and they knew that it was illegal, and they were like, I'm gonna get mine, Like, regardless of how it has to go, I'm gonna get mine.
Personally, your girlfriend looks a lot like you.
Yeah, girl, mad girl, What that is my twin sister?
Yeah, oh my bad, My bad.
Technically since it's your twin, it's like you'd be dating yourself though, so you can get away with it, y'all.
They're crazy. And I'm sitting here thinking in my head, why do I look so much like Jacob a Lordie, Like I literally am his fucking twin, and like no, actually talking about it, like we look okay, Like I'm the Beyonce of the group, and I'm the Jacob Elordi of the group. Like I just can't keep doing that.
You maybe look like him if I had to go get my wisdom teeth removed, but I couldn't afford the anesthesia, so they gave me under the table, like xen X and percocets, and then they made me drive home. There's a chance that I would see you walking across the street and almost hit you and be like, oh my god, I almost just hit Jacob ELORDI yes, that sentiment.
Maybe, And you remind me of a rotten backtooth in my mouth?
What what do I stink?
Like?
What is that?
Oh my god, Donald Trump, this is the craziest shit I've ever heard. And I don't know why not enough people are talking about this, and I'm being like one hundred percent genuine Like I'm I'm being one hundred percent serious, this is factual.
But I was.
Watching a video and like someone was like, oh yeah, like Donald Trump has like a really like human smell, Like he smells like a person. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? So then I looked online and I found like several videos of people in his posse, people that are really close to him, people who work for him, work with him, so they have
like everything to lose by saying this and lying. People who don't like him, people who are running against him in the election, all of them, on separate occasions, have said he stinks like shit, Like all of them, like in so many words are like Donald Trump smells bad, like smells like duty cock, and like I don't understand why he's able to beat the stink allegations because like having a stink alligation is like one of the worst things.
You'll never ever ever live that down. And for some reason, that's the allegation he beats. Like I don't know, it's it is crazy to me that Donald Trump literally smells like fucking onion.
Also because like most people who fuck with Donald Trump aren't like, oh, I hope I don't stink, like that's not that's not something that's like in therefore for us, and the part like, yeah, he smells like a man, he smells like how a man should smell like a man.
Yeah, well, I mean but even like people who don't like him don't talk about Donald Trump's body odor in the way that we should like that is like, yeah.
If I was running for a president and I was at the last debate, I'd be like, and you stink and see what he's saying, and you literally smell like shack could smell from over here.
Is it's like an orb of like stink that he travels with, like imagine riding in a fucking helicopter with him or on air Force one like that whole bitch would fucking reek.
Oh, it's like that. There's that brand that makes like weird sense. That's like cigarettes and.
Something threads after sex.
No, that's it. No, that's not what is that. That's a band that's like a they make music.
Your mom is my scent because I just like lay with her and she rubs her odor all over me.
I wear your Mom. But it's like that brand, So they should do a Donald Trump scent. Yeah, and I would buy it because I would try to. But somebody like, we need to get Josie in a room with him, because I bet Josie could pick up the notes.
So Zia would break him down with a president who looks like he bathes in cheating, Yeah.
If he was, what are we doing, because that's why we have a podcast, is to make things right? So if he wins again, what are we doing?
January sixth insurrection, I'm starting it now. We're gonna do it next year.
Wait, but no, he the inauguration happens like I think at the end of January.
No, No, it's November.
No, that's the election, but the inauguration, like when they go into the House House of Comment, they literally do a housewarming party for the president.
Yeah, did you see that Christmas party? They like hosted the White House in a bunch of influencers.
So weird, literally so weird. If I got invited into the White House, actually I would have to go, Like I would have to go, and I would make the worst content ever.
I would be so like hiding in the lockers or some shit like.
All you would hear the whole party is like the starter sound for TikTok, like the timer.
Yeah, making that's what they were doing.
Like, but were they having to tag like thank you at Joe Biden? Literally, if I just say thank you at Joe Biden, thank you at White House? Such an honor. I love that. I love such an honor, like I love when people go into it was such an honor, Like girl.
You got a sweaters my pleasure?
It was, no, it's always your pleasure before my pleasure exactly.
And I have a quote that I wanted to read and maybe it'll spark a conversation, because it blew my fucking mind and into the forest. I go to lose my mind and find my soul, dude, Well, into the forest, I go to lose my mind and find my soul, like, think about it.
Like sometimes I really can't tell if you're being serious. Did that did that move you? And if it did, that's okay, But I'm like actually curious.
No, no, no, I did read it genuinely, and I was like, damn, that's like literally so meat coated, because you go.
Up into the mountains and find your soul, but then you come back and you immediately get.
Back at your phone. The last time I went into the fucking mountains to find my soul, I came back to find out my brother was fucking dead. So the mountains are cursed to me.
No, no, you can go back.
I told that story.
I think so.
I think so.
I trauma blocked it. I don't even remember it anymore exactly, Like, why are you laughing? I'm being serious.
I'm having a moment. Well, are you going to go into the forest and find your soul and then come back to return to like working on your phone or no. Yes, we need to actually like we need to take your phone away, but not send you to the forest. We need to let you live a normal life without a phone.
Yeah, that's true.
Because you always go to the force and yeah, you get three days no screen time, but then you come back and you have to like no charge with eighteen hours straight.
You know what I thought about cut. So I'm using my phone all the time, right, that's yeah, all the literal Like I only use my Apple ecosystem, my phone, my iPad, and my computer, and it tracks across all three of those. Right. You use your phone for about like five and a half hours, six hours a day, three hours of on top of that Fortnite screen time, So we're kind of on the same level with screen time.
Okay, But like Fortnite's different because I play with friends, I talk to friends. I'm working on my hand eye.
Coordination friends, I'm working on my hand eye coordination by scrolling. I worked out this finger so much actually that I'm having like a muscle spasm constantly.
So no, no, it's different, No, it actually isn't it really is. But I haven't been playing Fortnite as much. I've like kind of taken a step back. I don't know if you've noticed, Like I've been trying not to play it as much. That's one of my goals for this years to like lessen my screen time, specifically with Fortnite, because I will get lost in it and I want to play it so bad. Like this morning, it was
so hard to wake up, And I'm not kidding. I was like, if only I just wake up and play Fortnite for a few hours and then do the podcast, I'd be so good to go, even though every time I play Fortnite for a few hours, it actually like burns, Like it's like when somebody lights a fireplace and like the tips of their eyelashes get sinned. I feel like that happens to my brain, like when I like play Fortnite for fur hour stry. I also lied, I don't like playing with people. I like playing low like I
hate playing with people. They fucking suck. No one's as good as me.
That's not true. I feel that's true.
Thank you.
Well. Should I go into my rant about d MT trips and your death experiences?
Uh? Sure? Do you want to?
So?
When people smoke d MT, I've never done it. I don't think i'll ever do it. I think it will psychologically break me.
Um.
They describe this experience where they get sucked through this wormhole esque thing fucking thing for lack of better word, and they quote unquote break through to the other side. So they're like zooming through this like light tunnel where there's a fucking light at the end of the tunnel basically, and then you like break through like breaking through like
plastic or whatever. And then they make it to the other side and then they exist in this reality briefly where it's like fractals and colors and it's it's unlike anything we've.
Ever literally the plot of Coreline.
Like actually, yeah, that's like how people describe it as like going through the tunnel of core Line, but they like are shot out of a rocket type shit cannon ball, cannon bah. So they break through and they are in this like other reality, like different dimension is how people
describe it. And like there's fractals and there's colors, and there's paths and there's all this shit you can do, and then there are these like beings some people describe them as goblins or something like that, and like a lot of the time, like they go there, they go to this other reality, and these beings are like laughing at them. They're like why the fuck are you here? How the fuck did you get here you're not supposed
to be here. Yeah, or they're playing with them and they're like having fun, or they're like berating them and they forced a bad trip on these people, and then shortly after that they're like follow me, they like go to these places with these people or goblins. I've never done it, so I can't visualize it, but yeah, and then they get suck back into reality within like five minutes. It's yeah, isn't that crazy? DMT trips are like max ten minutes.
Are there are people addicted to DMT?
I'm sure, but it's it's not like physically addictive, but I'm sure psychologically like some people are like I need to go back, I need to go back. But I think also like tolerance builds up like super super fast. So but anyways, so when people have near death experiences, every single one I've watched, there's like this YouTube series I've been watching recently. Every single one is like they describe to a t exactly what a DMT trip is.
And I don't know what that says. I'll let you draw your own conclusions, but they all described the same thing where they like are dead for seven minutes, like they flipped in a kayak and they were underwater for seven minutes and they were like pronounced dead. They were literally dead, and they went into this other dimension that was fractals and rainbows and colors and all this shit. And these are like admirable people like firemen and shit that have nothing to gain from it, like from making
this shit up. Like I saw one where like doctors accidentally overdosed him in a hospital and he like literally flatlined and died. His heart stopped, his brain stopped having activity, and he was experiencing while he was dead, like very similar like things to how people describe DMT trips. And it kind of freaks me out a little bit because I'm like, what the fuck?
And like the way DMT they the way DMT was like discovered, makes no sense too, Like the people were just eating fucking roots, Like I don't know, it just doesn't make it, Like how did they figure that out?
I feel like it was like planted here almost. And then there's like this idea that like when you die, DMT is released in your brain. I think that's been like proven.
I think that's confirmed.
Yeah, it like wait, it's confirmed.
I think I feel like I looked it up and it was like, yeah, we did an mriskm off someone word releases like that chemical.
So like there's this idea that when you die, like if DMT is released in your brain, the light tunnel you're going through is actually just a DMT trip and you're like, don't go into the light. Don't go into the light, and it's like you go into the light and you like live in this afterlife dimension or something I find piece in it.
I'm just like such a pessimist, like I do think that that happens. But when people all, like specifically when people who seek out DMT and then tell that story, I'm like, you're gonna tell me you didn't watch eighteen YouTube videos of that and then literally just like imagine it because you're just high and like that's what you were expecting. So like that's kind of what your brain gave to you. But obviously I'm sure DMT is stronger than you being able to like I'm going to go
back to my dream that I was having. I'm gonna take DMT to go back to the dream. Like it's like stronger than that. But it's kind of like when people describe alien abductions and They're all the fucking same, and they just so happen to seem exactly like a movie. I'm like, bro, we just grew up watching that shit, so that's what you think happened, but you were just having a psychotic episode.
I'm going to say there is like a theory that alien abductions are like people who are just experiencing like psysychist.
There was when you were saying that, I because I've thought about that. It's like it's almost like nature versus nurture, like when you do drugs. Is that because you've seen like all this like content, But I feel like what's interesting is like before you could synthesize DMT, like sacred geometries and like so many like ten thousand year old
temples and shit gold. Yeah, I feel like it's that's always been kind of interesting to me that you still see the stuff that's been like painted on stuff for like fucking fifteen thousand years.
Yes, since like humans gained consciousness, But it could literally just be like because it looks cool, and we were like, let's try it. It looks cool, and then like our sacred two thousands of babies. Sacred geometry is the Superman ass, that's sacred geometry. They're gonna like find that written on a notebook and be like, what the fuck does this mean?
Fear, Like, do kids still write on walls and bathrooms and stuff at school? Is that the ale thing? Or do they all have like fucking camera like shade rooms on like ig so they just write it there on set? Oh, did you ever have anything written on the walls in the bathroom about you?
Not about me?
No?
But I it would always be like when I'm in the middle of beef, somebody would do it, and I would always be like, you're a fucking pussy bitch. I never write on those fucking stinky ass walls. I know your fucking pen is dirty, bitch, Like we would just beef over it. But it would only have like twice in middle school that somebody wrote about me.
I don't know the other one.
I don't remember. I just remember, like I remember it was in a silver sharpie because we had dark green doors. Actually, in my dream, I saw kids from my school, but like, I can't remember the rest of it. They were just like in my school uniform and I was like, hello, like, why are you wearing your uniform? You're literally twenty five, like this is I.
Never had anything written about me, but I had a lot of suffering about my best friend who was like struggling with fentanyl addiction. She was like her name was like Rue, and they would like write all this no, Oh my god.
That actually just reminded me there was a TikTok shop Hoddy. There's a TikTok shop hoody that literally is like no to fentanyl, and they're like, guys like, come on.
Like this we can buy If we can sell one hundred of these, we can in fentanyl poison.
And I'm like, you were literally so fucking conniving for just like roughening off of that, like it's so weird, also like making it like stylish, Like I like I think about like Dare shirts and stuff. Obviously that's kind of like aligned in the same thing, like the whole Dare program is aligned in like shaming people whatever. It's like this whole weird narrative. And then those shirts became popular.
But in my head, I'm like when those shirts were made, the people making them weren't like, damn, this is gonna sell on grails, but the person making this like no to fetanel shirt is like and sooner than later?
Is it in like the Playboy CARDI swag where.
It's yes, it's like all like opium coated, and I'm like, this is so fucking weird. But I literally, uh looked at that because I wanted to see how many of them sold, And then my whole TikTok feed was TikTok shop like I hate.
I hate when that happens, Like I'll check to literally check to see how many of those products sold because I'm like curious, like about the landfill that is being created, and they it always is either astronomically high, like one hundred and fifty thousand units sold or like four or zero. And then yeah, I go on and I get three
thousand ads next, but I click not interested on. I've been getting ads for like women's clothing, which is like, if anything, I should be getting ads for boys clothing because boys can't wear girls.
That's what I was gonna say, because like, what are you gonna do wear a skirt? That would be weird, that wouldn't even make sense.
I could never.
I don't even think like a man's body lets that happen, right, I can never.
And then we post like my last four IG pictures are me in a fucking dress for some reason. Okay, I got a couple more things I want to talk about. I was going to talk about this con woman that stole over one hundred million dollars from the military, and she's low key and icon to me, but it's kind of boring and long. But over like six years, she's one hundred million dollars, like saying she was gonna like
give this money to kids. It was like a nonprofit or some shit, and she bought like thirty one fucking supercars and like all this like crazy, crazy shit. But I thought about it a little more and I was like, damn, that's literally what our congress people do to us every single day. So that kind of made me sad. But I do want to talk about me and you getting what you wait.
I was gonna say, I wonder if once people do shit like that, Like there's so many stories of somebody who stole a bunch of money and then lived like a fucking fairis Bueller ass day or like life for like a few months where they were like writing in supercars, like being on yachts, traveling like on emirates like all this crazy shit and then they get caught and put
in jail. Do you think those people go to jail and they're like, damn, I should have just kept it chilling, like taking it back and I didn't need to do all that, Or do you think they're in the mindset in which they're like, that shit was fucking awesome, Like I don't regret it, and I would do it again.
I think it's like a person a person like situation. Yeah, Like I'm sure this girl is like mortified that she stole this money.
Yeah, because you also can't like it's not like you get out of jail and get to be normal, but just googlew your name and it's like, Mitch, fuck you.
You stole a hundred million dollars. Imagine stealing one hundred million. How the fuck did that go unnoticed? Which is also really fucking scary to me that like military spending is so loose that like one hundred.
Millions missing and they don't even notice.
You can just go missing, like and I'm pretty sure it was taxpayers money, Like like it's like mind blowing to me. It's mind boggling how much money is in the fucking military industrial complex, and it's scary. It's scary, boots.
What were you gonna say, we want oh us almost sitting people with cars? Is that what you're gonna say?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
I shouldn't be allowed on the road. I decided, like I am literally okay, I do want to clarify because don't wan anybody to hear this and thing that I'm like some reckless driver who thinks it's funny to be reckless. I'm I do not believe that I'm a reckless driver. What I will say, though, is growing up in Miami
and that driving style does not translate elsewhere. Like I shouldn't be allowed to do the things I do on the road, which I'm sure I'm not allowed to do in Miami, but I never face any repercussions for it, because Miami, to me, has the worst drivers on the fucking planet and it's insane there. But I have realized, especially since I don't have a car, I am never
driving the speed limit. I am always going above the speed limit, to the point that when I'm in a car when somebody's driving the speed limit, it fucking pisses me off. And that shouldn't piss me off because in my head, I'm like, we're going so slow right now, but we're doing the legal like thirty five forty mile limit.
The speed signs are a suggestion you can go like three or four miles over.
Okay, thank you, thank you. Yeah, because that's why I used to know. I usually hit like thirty above. So if it's a forty LB's real, I'll be doing seventy three down like a suburban neighborhood.
That's like really not okay?
What you always have the signs that like, oh, drive like your kids are here.
I don't have kids, so you're doing exactly that. I guess that's.
Actually not funny. I'm pretty sure that like vehicular accidents are now the top killer of like people in the US.
Like it's actually so I think of children. Oh yeah, right, So.
I need to become more cautious though, because I literally anytime a human like is crossing the street. Okay, here's my problem with cars is the part that keeps the windshield up that is always what fuck about? That blind spot is so fucked up, and in every car it's different. So like in your car, since I just started driving it, the blind spot for me like I'm not looking at that, and I was cross. I was driving yesterday with y'all
in the car. Also, I was creeping very slowly because there was a van next to me that was blocking the sidewalk. But the guy behind me was all my ass. So I was like, Okay, I need to creep and start to make this right because this guy's about to honk at me and that's gonna make me mad and I'm gonna get out and slash all his tires and fucking rip his hair out. So I was like, let me start creeping into let me start creeping into the intersection.
I was moving so fucking slow, like I barely was moving in.
The space, literally like she moved like two inches, like.
I barely moved. And this lady appeared out of nowhere. She was covered by the van and the blind spot, so she stopped in front of the car. She still had space, but she gave.
Me had like it was like five feet. She was literally away.
Like I was not close to her, and she just stops in front of the car, and literally she was looking down. She goes and then just stood there. And Drew's windows are not tinted like nearly enough and I literally was like, bitch, fuck.
You, like.
Fucking mad, because I was like I was not gonna hit you, Like I stopped the car the second I saw you. I was not going to hit you. Also, like if I was gonna hit you, like if you were actually scared, bitch, you wouldn't have the time and like you would be in shock and be like, oh my god, I almost just got hit and not like looking at me like you're in a fucking movie.
Anytime I've almost been hit by a car, like literally every single time it's probably happened to me like fifteen twenty twenty five times in my life just crossing an intersection in La It's like just dangerous. That is a fucking price you pay to live here, as you might get hit by a car every single time you.
Cross a major city.
Yeah, but every time it happens to me, I literally like bust out laughing and like I'm like, oh, like, of course it's an accident. You weren't trying to fucking run me over. And even if you did hit me crossing a crosswalk, like you're going five miles per hour, I will have a bruise on my leg at best bitch, Like not that fucking deep.
I just say when people act like I was gonna like bitch, if I was gonna do it, I would have done it.
Yeah.
Later when people were like they feel so personally targeted, like I literally.
Don't know you, Yeah, it cracks me up. And then a similar story is I was driving on new roads that I have never been on, and like the road over that I had been on and the other road over that I had been on, both are just one ways when you're going up the road, like there's no stop signs, there's no lights, there's nothing, and it's like the same size road, same neighborhood. So I was just like, oh, it's probably the same on this road. So I was kind of just like I was going below the speed limit.
I remember this because I was like, oh, there's like a lot of kids running around, like I want to be able to stop, and the speed limit and that neighborhood is like fucking thirty five miles per hour, which is insane. But I was going like twenty twenty five, and I guess I ran a stop sign once and I just didn't think about it. But then I got to another four way cross section that I was driving through, and in my head I was like, oh, there's no stop signs on the street. I have the right away.
They don't. They're they're just waiting for us. I don't, don't. I don't know what I was thinking. And I drove through this intersection with like two cars like stop that stop signs, And I drove through and I could see the look on this old geezer's fucking face. He was like he threw his hands up and he was started like cussing at me, and his wife threw her hands up and started getting angry, and I was like, y'all are and I like, I literally like was like, oh
my god, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. As I was driving through, I was going slow enough where like I said, they I could see all of the people's faces and say sorry to them. So it wasn't like I was gonna kill someone, and it wasn't that deep. They were both stopped. They were both aware that I wasn't going to stop, so I was like, what's the fucking problem. And when they threw their hands up, like, oh my god, it sent me into a rage that
I cannot describe. I was fucking writhing in anger. I could not believe it, and I was like cussing to myself and I was like, what the fuck, like fuck you, like motherfucker, Like you don't throw your hands up at me, Like yeah, I ran to stop sign, but I wasn't
gonna fucking hit you. And then I like caught a moment of like cl clarity, and I was like, I just started busting out loud, laughing that I somehow construted this to be angry at the people that were stopped at the sign and following the law, and I just ran a stop sign and I was like, oh fuck, I'm actually crazy, Like I'm actually crazy, this is crazy, like and then I was just laughing. I went from like anger to laughter the fastest I've ever gone in
my life. And to clarify, neither of the cars were moving. One of them was going the opposite way from me. The other one was doing a right hand turn on the same street. He had his blinker on, So I wasn't going to hit either of these fuckers. But they just wanted to be angry for no reason because they have sad fucking lives.
They're so I always say shit like that, but then I have like such, I don't think I have like road rage. Also, to clarify, I am a safe driver. I just want to say that, guys, I'm a really good driver. I've never been in an accident knock on wood like, I've never I hit a car when I was fifteen, but years clean. I'm ten years sober in years. But every time I'm like driving and I get really fucking mad at someone. But I feel like we get
mad at like decent things. But then when other people get mad at me, I'm like, bitch, fuck you, like, grow up, it's not that deep, but I get so fucking mad. I was parking in a fucking parking lot recently and this girl in like a Mustang, like an old ass Mustang, and me and my friends in the car were like, oh damn, that's like a cool car. She looks cool and I she was leaving her spot and I was trying to park into a spot I was.
I didn't take more than a fucking minute to back up to get into the spot, and she honked at me, and the rage I felt I was like, bitch, I literally hope you fucking hydroplane in your car explodes into smither ybls.
People who use horns like seriously, like seriously, or like in moments where their life is not or where their life is not threatened, Like you are scum of the earth. To me, you are fucking loser. You love the powers you have, like no power or control in your life, and you have to take it out on someone else. Like I literally, I'm not kidding. I have never used a horn in a serious situation. I have literally never
done it. And I don't know if it's just like because I grew up in a small town and if you honked at someone, like they will come and find you and kill you because everybody knows everybody, or like what the vibe is. But like, yeah, that shit hits me off. But like I think I were not.
Imagine people who use their horns, Like I've never been in a car with one of my friends and like watch them like just like babe.
Like oh, exactly exactly, warn oh I have and I'll tell you after. But it fucking it's so that is so icky.
Like imagine going on a date with someone and they pick you up and you watch them like hit their horn like five times on the way to the restaur I'd be like, oh my god, I literally need to get out of this car.
I throw up a very passive driver though, like I'm like, you do you like respect, Like I'll let you in on this merge, like I'll do your thing. But when people start disrespecting me and don't give me the same energy, that's when I get upset. Like the other day when I was like I was in the merging, eye was trying to speed around me, and then the car behind me was like stopping and stop the entire flow of traffic because he thought I was trying to get in
front of him. And I was like, no, there's order to this, and I am following the orders. Y'all are being fucking loser boots, Like I fucking hate defensive driver, not defensive drivers offensive, yeah, just like like fucking opportunistic drivers, and like I feel like I'm low key and opportunistic driver when we got to get places.
That's what I'm saying, Like, my biggest gripe is if you were going to be an agro driver, fucking commit to it, Like you need to be good at it and you need to commit to it. Because I can't stand a bitch who's like tailing me and then gets around me but starts going to speed limit and like, why did you do that? You just did that to be a fucking bitch, And now I actually hope you hydro plane.
Yeah.
Literally, if someone like almost hit me at a fucking stop sign, like I would, I literally would like laugh and then jump in front of the car so they could kill me because I want to end my suffering.
Oh and that was our conversation about cars as well.
Life is suffering.
No, it's not. Life is joyous.
We are an energy plant. No, we are. Actually we are in dimensional beings that decided, oh, like I want to go to Earth to experience the universe. I want to be the universe experiencing itself. And one caveat to that was that we forgot but we have our souls still, but some of us are remembering that, Like, we came to this planet to like experience like feelings and emotions and all that shit. But then when we die, we
go back to being interdimensional beings. Think about that. I just blew someone's mind.
Who's someone wanting? Yeah, you blew my mind. Honestly, you blew a lot of things. Ow, motherfucker, you squeezed too. Hard my Ring Drew fucking crushed his toe in the back seat. He was taking his sock off, and he was like.
Like, literally have crushy toast syndrome like it like I was, I was playing basketball and months I'm just an athletic person and I still have it. And we were I was going super super hard in basketball and my feet were like they weren't hurting, and I guess my body was just like mind over mattered because I have control like that over like this ship, and I just like like I pushed through the pain like better.
Than like just even in day to day life.
Yeah, but I took my shoes off, and I've literally never seen this much blood come from my body. I don't think ever in my life. I actually, no, that's a lie I have. But like my sock was like covered in blood because I was just going so hard in the fucking pain.
And you were having your period through your toes.
Yeah, but then I didn't show you this, and ye here if.
It's a picture of your beaar fucking toe, I don't want to see.
No, No, it's it's not. I'm gonna air drop those to kyro quick. I didn't show you this and you actually, wait, I did, but no one fucking believes that I can dunk. Oh, like, no one believes it.
Your hair looks insane in that your hair looks like somebody put a bunch of gel in it and blue dried it up. Like it looks crazy.
It's so fucked up, And like that's the craziest part about it is like I got hidden bounce, I got sneaky bounce, Like I can get out there on that rim like like that's like.
The kind of like what's crazy is like there's like a girl out there who's seen her like boyfriend or like partner or somebody play basketball and be like, oh, he's so hot, he's so good at it. But that would like embarrass the fuck out of me. Like men shouldn't be jumping around like like get down, like get down, Like why are you hanging onto that like your little legs, like like like kicking around after you like dunk, Like, get down. You're embarrassing me, like you're kicking your feet around.
It's gross.
Get down from on their room, on their room. Okay, Drew's sigh up corner.
You see it different every.
Time jew shye up corner, Like Jews, say up, Cortner, y'all remember when our grandmas used to make us up before we went to dates, so she made sure we wouldn't have sex. Do you remember that?
No, my grandma never did that.
My grandma used to do that.
It's like it must be a boy thing. But they would do it so we wouldn't go and have sex, so our penis would be deflated.
Oh, my grandma would do it so it would last longer because she was like, you got to impressed.
Oh yeah, you see what you get play that's lit. When I was in school, we read the When I was in school, we read The Great Gatsby. Nowadays, it seems to me that these days in schools, students in school these days are more concerned with where the Great gats be?
Yeah, did that sense? It's really read like that like it seems to be in school these days. They said these days like eight times.
These days in school kids are most concerned with the Great Gyatsby. Shout out Tony Hawk Ruther, Truther, Truther, this one sucks. And reading that one.
I watched your hands start to shake so bad when you were reading the last one.
Ummm, your baby daddy uses cologne out of magazines. He rubbing page forty three on his neck.
That's really good. Do they still do that? Do they still put the scent in the magazine?
I don't know. Um, yeah, that's it.
I mean one.
Oh, yeah, I want to try.
Uh.
These Trader Joe's cashiers have got to stop rising me up. I'm about to leave snail trails on the organic fruit leather.
You know what it's worse is I heard you say that the night of my birthday. I heard you say that to Mason. Yeah. Wow, Okay.
Those cashiers are trained to be nice to you because we live in a lonely epidemic, and they're nice to you, so you keep going back to Trader's Joe's Trader Joe's and you buy their products. It's all a part of the evil machine of capitalism, and I want you to be aware of it. And you can still shop there. It's great food. But they're nice to you because they want you to buy more things than they're trained to be that way.
Did we are living in such a weird time? They're like they're being a cult following for like multiple grocery stores is fucking and saying and what are the other ones like Airwan and Trader Dudes are like the ones that.
Gb Agb's like the grocery, Like, you don't have swag if you don't shop at AGB and Grandberry.
I feel like in Miami it's like Publics, Like Publics is like, yeah, Publics is mid is. I actually don't know if anybody feels like that. When I was a kid, I was like, oh my god, we went to Publics because it was a real grocery store.
I h Mark kind of has a oh yeah, does have that.
Maybe every grocery store just has a cult following because you need your vagina has a cult following. I know that, damn for sure.
Okay, that's a couple one. Thank you.
A Penis has a cult following. I know that for sure.
There's no way I looked into that.
It's true.
It's it's true. It's true as fun.
Okay, my media of the week is, Oh my god, this is gonna literally blow someone's mind. Fuck. I didn't talk about this. I have to admit something. I think Ky already heard me say this. Everybody's heard me say this, because I can't believe it. But I did not know that George Harrison was in the Beatles, Like, I seriously did not know that, And I found that out three days ago, and it's been really life changing news because I love George Harrison, but I just don't know. Lucas
put it into like such a good like sentiment. He was, uh, he said, you have such a cognitive dissonance from the Beatles that no matter how many times someone would mention that he was in the Beatles, your brain just made it a different situation because I literally thought he just like worked for the Beatles, or like did like guitar for them, or wrote a song or two for them. And it wasn't until I was watching this video that
they literally in the video. I was showing it to Lucas, they say it like three times before it clicked to my head. It wasn't until they showed a clip of George Harrison getting off stage with the other Beatles and I was like, oh my god, he's wearing the funky little suit like he's literally in the fucking Beatles. That's fucking crazy. And because of that, there is a Beatles song in my media this week, which is crazy, really really crazy. See people change, Yeah, I'm subject to change.
The Long and Winding Road by The Beatles, Pure Smokey by George Harrison, walk Out to Winter as Tech Camera, and a Letter to Elise the Cure, which I think I said like two of those last week. But also, guess what, shocker, I'm still listening to Abandoned Luncheonette by Daryl Hall and John Oates. There I said it. I can't get over Haul and Oates, I'm really annoying. Also, the Lord loves the one George Harrison. So that's my media of the week. Suck it.
My media of the week is Dots and Loops by Stereo Lab, specifically the flower called Nowhere. That's a great freaking song. And then Ice Blink Luck by the cock two twins, and let's just do a random song in one of my playlists. Oh wait, that's the emergency inndergum playlist. Hold on the first like forty seconds of Orca by Nicola is really good. Let's do Jardin's Aquatics by peplopis pepe pe?
All right, thank you guys so much for watching. I have poop about to.
Shoot out my butt, so I called it.
Oh my god. Luck four