Humanity Has Gone Too Far

Welcome back.

To Emergency Intercom.

I was going to say to a new episode.

And I wasn't gonna let you. I was not gonna let you say welcome back to you.

You weren't gonna let me say what I want to say.

No, because as a man, that's my place on this earth is to not let women speak.

You know, usually I would argue with you, but like, I can appreciate the fact that, like five seconds in, you were just like speaking your truth and you're letting it be known what you believe in, and like I.

Actually think, I know as a woman, as a woman, that's your place.

Didn't think yeah, and as and as a woman, I just believe that men should speak over me.

And I just I don't believe in you know what, I'm.

Done, You're done talking. Cool, Okay, well let's let's jump right into this episode. My first topic of discussion that I wanted to bring up is we need to bring back manly men.

So I thought you were gonna say what you walked into my room and said yesterday.

Oh fuck oh, I literally forgot about that. Let me not chew gum into the mic.

I feel like I've done that before. But when I do it. It's like sweet because it's like, oh my little mouth at work.

You feel that fell into the dust pile. It's like literally just dust gum.

Now no, it's like right here, it's between natfl Now it's sorry. We're playing with Drew's chewed up gum right now.

Anything is possible on this podcast. Anything is really possible.

Oh my god, I like, okay, So the one I'm gonna come I was about to say I'm gonna come to set with a web. I wanted never to come to set with a bomb, but one time somebody was like, not them calling their kitchen a set.

It is a set. We had to move for our dining room table.

Set it up every day.

We have sacrificed having a cute corner of the kitchen for this. Like we very well could like make this like a pleasing thing to look at.

But like, if I'm being honest, like I think we're giving y'all what you deserve.

The one is to upgrade the visuals. Is that something you'd like? But or is this feeling?

If we upgraded, people would be like I missed.

The old set. Yeah, me too, I missed the old set.

Yeah, I actually do.

Okay, what did I walk into your room and say?

This fucking idiot came into my room, Like I'm working hard at fuck cleaning my closet, like taking on a task I've been thinking about forever. I'm fine, only home, Like I'm like, okay, it's time to like settle back in and J're just comes into my room and interrupts me mid thought. First of all, I was in my closet putting things away and he just peeks his head around, and then I was like, why do you do that?

And he goes, oh, to make sure you weren't naked. It's like if I was naked.

And I was like being weird and secretive about it for some reason, like I didn't want you to catch me peeking, but like I should have just announced my presence, but I like peeked over the door and you're like, why did you do that?

And You're like, oh, I just want to make sure you weren't.

Naked, And it didn't cross my mind it as weird until this very like I had not given it a second thought.

And then he was like I think I finally like I I know what I'm going to talk about on the next episode. And like I need to just like I need to dispel like everything, and I was like, what are you talking about? And then he just says he needs to talk about Kanye West and like set everything straight publicly. And that's where I stopped him because I was like, whatever the fuck you're gonna say, at least say it on camera so I can roll my eyes at you.

It will it will change the way you think about everything forever, Like it might change the trajectory of the world. Though, like what I'm about to.

Say, is this the big thing? Or no, this isn't even the big thing.

No, this isn't even the big thing.

Okay, this is just.

The big thing coming. Is the next performer at the super Bowl is gonna die? That's the big thing coming. I'm predicting it now. That's what's gonna happen.

You're you're like one of those tweet accounts that just says any single possibility on planet Earth so that someone can clip it at some point.

I'm an AI generated bot and it's just constantly spewing big things that are bound to happen eventually. Yes, no one through a time traveler. Yes, but yeah, I just we've already talked about it though as a thing. It is like we got into a conversation about it naturally yesterday, but I was like, I I think Kanye West is a marketing genius, and every single time he's about to drop an album, he gets into the biggest controversy of

Like he likes to stir the pot.

He likes to stir the pot right when he's about to drop an album, and I fall forward every time, and then I like catch myself and I'm like, oh my god, like he's just because then I saw he's like to two twenty two, twenty two Donda two is coming out like a fucking course, He's getting in all this drama right now because he has an album to promote.

Every time stuff like this like happens.

I do like to know and take pride in the fact that I don't like this is publicly like talking about it like we're feeding into it. But like I had a take that I said to a friend and they were like, you gotta post that, and I was like no, because I cannot be another screenshotting, like a screenshot that's getting like capsized and fucking like thrown around on ig source.

Also, there's a nap that I keep catching.

And I like those damn dishes.

I don't okay, okay, Oh, sue.

Me, damn oh take me to core.

Oh, sue me, sue me, lock me up.

I threw away our sponge. Fun fact, our sponge was fucking disgusting, Like our sponge probably had black mold in it, and we've been washing this for like four months.

I literally, I think the lack of black mold in the air is making me anxious because every like something something switched recently in the past weekend.

So at first, at first you didn't like the black mold because you thought it was making you anxious.

I think it's coming down. I think it was like turning my brain off to like and now.

You think you need black mold to like reignite.

You're like the spores back into my lungs because I need to be dumbed down. I need to like be back present, living present, not thinking into the future. I need that.

I was talking to Kai about this.

I literally also I didn't even finish the anyway. I threw away our dish soap sponge whatever the fuck, because I was like, oh, I'm just gonna buy a new one.

But I'm one of those people who I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna get this thing, and I.

Need to get it, and like weeks go by and it doesn't happen. So now four days have passed where I just keep piling up dishes because I'm like, fuck, I don't have a sponge to wash.

The shit with.

And I've been reusing my coffee cup and like it has weird grooves that hurt. But when I put my hand in it and like wash around with my hand, it literally is like jabbing against the walls of the cup and it hurts.

I've used this mason jar for two weeks now without washing it.

You also told me that you've been using a reusable face mask for like months, and that is fucking discussed.

Oh my COVID mask. I don't give a shit, Like, take them fucking muzzle off. Get the muzzle off of me. I'll obey, but I'm not gonna do it.

Okay, you did point this out that the new Batman like ads are literally anti mask.

It says unmasked at the top corner of every Batman and that movie's dropping on my birthday? Are they saying on my birthday? They're gonna lift the mask?

On your birthday, we will unveil the mask, like we will take it off, like I will. I will unveil myself of the mask.

What guys, we're kidding, We're kidding, We're kidding. YouTube.

YouTube, Yeah, I know, YouTube.

We're joking. This is a fucking joke. We got a video taken down and they've reinstated it like a month later, and it was just up and they were like, yeah, sorry we did our robots did make a mistake. Okay, well you you are actively fucking with my money, actively fucking with my bread. What were we saying right before this guy Kanye West drama? You said something about me. You were like, oh, I was talking to guy about this.

Oh yeah, oh, I was talking to Kay about how I have a monkey brain.

And that just showed it.

Because I don't believe in thinking I just like med.

No, it's not like it's no, it's not.

It's like I can just forget things immediately and move on and like live life and like in the moment and in the moment, I can enjoy life because it's just like off. It's like, oh, you have a task to do. No you don't keep going.

Yes, that's my vibe too. Sorry, I'm looking out our window and thinking about everything. But this moment, it's crazy. It's actually crazy. It's crazy how quickly my brain can just like shut off whatever I'm fucking doing. And oh, what is it? Uh? Think overthink?

I mean I do that too, but like, am I the only one who like I lay in my bed at night to go to sleep in my brain is just like swamped with things and I just like stay up all night and I feel like that one picture of Bars, I'm sitting up at four am.

It's like on the edge of his bed, just like.

Thinking, Okay, I do have this idea. And I know you're gonna say, like, shut the fuck up, it's stupid, but it's it's a genuine idea. Don't slow blink at me. I just okay. So at night, like right, like I'm sorry. I know it's gonna sound stra I just feel like I can't speak my mind because I've been shut down so much. So at night we should let me. I wrote it down because I was like, Okay, this is actually kind of a good idea, so let me just read it verbatim. Okay, okay, we should do this thing

You're gonna like, you're actually gonna break me cry. You are the worst prison.

Why why sleep?

It's called fucking sleep.

You're so annoying because for a split fucking second, I was like, you know what, I feel bad? I feel so mean that Drew feels like you can't just like say certain and you always do this. You're like, you're a fucking evil man.

No, I'm just an actor. An actor. I can turn it on anytime I want, and that's all I do. I act.

I think you should get a lobotomy. Do you know what that is? Yes, you should try one. I bet there's a doctor out there that if you post it on ig they'll do it for.

Free, literally free services if you tweet it out.

If you before you get it.

Yeah, I hate that you got me with that and like it fucking destroyed.

My my train of thought, my.

Train of thought.

But I do want to bring up something that I was thinking about because I know a lot of you know, we dabble in playing passion, lightning storms and hurricane videos.

Like every all the bad stuff that we probably shouldn't consume, we do. We consume it because we're only human.

Yeah, because I.

Has anybody ever done that?

Are you hearing this fucking remix on? Because I'm human?

Up? Wait, that's night.

We should wait, we should start a best of all words.

Alcabella remixes, just like we're sorry, what's the d lean? You know?

What?

Do you know? I've been thinking about this a lot. Why is it? Why are people not tired of hearing paper planes by am I in the club? Granted that is a fantastic fucking song, but literally, anytime I'm in a club environment, that fucking song plays and everybody loses their.

Goddamn you know what it is is because at this point it's not in rotation, like it's not in like the average person's playlist rotation, so it always feels off guard.

Yeah, like it always is like oh.

My god, like I can't I can't believe this is playing right now.

I just saw someone's story and it was playing in their story and I was like, come on, do you need help?

No, I don't because that'll tickle and then you know what, I make them bleed.

Oh but yeah, I was watching some of the stories and it was at like a club and paper Planes played and I was like, I don't think there's been like a single moment in my life where I've gone out and haven't heard that song again.

Fantastic song. Am I A Is probably top ten musician of our generation period, like easily like revolutionized everything. See I could talk about it for hours, but I'm not going to.

Say you're just like kind of girl you like like this that kind of stuff.

Yeah, I'm different, but yeah, it just freaks me out. It freaked me out because then I was like, there's so many songs that are played over like the the song that you were like, what's the song that white people like? And Kay was like mister Brightside, dude.

That song did Wait can you sing that?

Is that?

No?

That's how does this?

Mister blue Sky Scott, No, I'm thinking of orchestra?

Yeah, what is How does that sound? Mister bright said, it's.

Like and just fine. Got I gotta gig twisted.

Yeah, I was thinking of the mister mister b Guys.

That's what I gotta get twisted, and I'm losing my mouth.

There's there's also another song that, like David Dobrik uses a lot in his videos, and that is like another song where I'm like, I associate this with like a room full of white people who like cannot believe this ship is playing, but I cannot fucking think of it.

It's such a like.

It's probably anything Elba.

No, it's not Dancing Queen. It's not Dancing Queen.

That's Neil Diamond.

Yes, that is it? That is it? What's the way? What's the lyrics of that song?

Neil?

I think it's Neil?

Oh?

Yes, dude, when not?

When that comes on in a club in l like, I wish I need to put a GoPro on my head, go into a club orchestrate for that to play, and then go back to Miami and play that in a club in Miami and just watch the difference of like people being like why is this ship playing right now?

Like why is this.

Fun fact about Neil Diamond? Is my My mama was obsessed with Neil Diamond. Is obsessed with Neil Diamond, and like, I think if she could have been a Neil Diamond groupie. Actually I don't know enough about her. She might have been a Neil Diamond groupy. And I'm not just saying that, like I'm gonna get fact checked by my mother and I'll report back to y'all next week. But she is obsessed with Neil Diamond. And that's that. She had a

And this is exactly what Peepon and mem would be doing.

You say, my granddad and mamma, Mamma and granddad, my.

Mamma takes care of raccoons.

Yeah she does, and I think she let them in the house.

That's honestly beautiful.

She let them in her house recently. But yeah, I have a I have a bunch of photos with like raccoons as a baby, like just like feeding them out of my hands.

Oh that's fucking awesome.

I don't have actually, not a bunch, probably like three.

Or There is like an insane difference between La and Miami that I always think about every time I go back to Miami is like I feel like you notice it. The amount of stray cats in Miami is like insane versus like La. I just feel like I don't see them as much. Maybe because they get fucking tore up by coyotes. But no, but even in like Koreatown and stuff like, there aren't coyotes like in that area, and I just don't see cats like that.

We need more stray cats, Like am I the only one who feels like that?

Yeah? I agree.

But to go back to what I was literally trying to say, like probably five topics ago is something I've been thinking about, is I genuinely believe humans were not meant to get this far like like some something went wrong. Like we are just so bad at reading signs of evolution and when to stop. Like there's just so much danger in front of us, like even on like a like normal everybody like like sense, but just as a whole, we are so bad at it because I like kind.

Of told you we've gone too far. We've actually absolutely I agree as humans we've gone too far.

We've gone too far, and there's like almost like too much to partake in, Like there's like too many things for you.

To be doing at once.

Because I the reason I brought up the cruise ship and or the plane crashes and stuff is because I randomly got recommended a real time sinking video of the Titanic, and you know, you know I had to click that.

You know, I don't know it.

Was in my recommended too, but I opted.

You know, I had to waste three hours of my night watching that shit.

You watched all three hours of it.

I was skimming through it because like there were moments because it was like in real time, like saying what was happening, so like probably in the moments of just like pure hysterian panic, like there was no reporting happening on the ship because everybody was like freaking out. That movie was one of the first movies that made me horny as fuck, Like, yeah, that movie was the first movie that made me have to pee my little pants.

No, but.

No way that like the why no, why were they moaning in the car?

We're on the boat. Why are you moaning in the car?

Wait?

What isn't there a car on the ship that they boned?

Yeah, And as a kid, I was like, I need that.

I need I see Leonardo.

I'm like, but what the fuck was I saying other than being horny? Oh? But yeah, I like whatever. I was like watching.

Elevent where like thousands of people died.

Yeah, not the not the f the horny, not the horny movie.

But I was watching that and like whatever.

I finished it, Like I was about to fall asleep, and I was like, I should put my phone down and go to sleep, resting on like watching this like terrific accident.

But I'm gonna keep ingesting.

Oh, I said, well, celebrate this celebration, this beautiful party, this sacrifice, this ig post worthy party.

But how long ago is that? It was probably it was.

Literally in eighteen forty two or some shit.

That's a lie.

It was probably in I think it was like nineteen twelvey or some shit.

Let's find out, like, are people still alive? There's no way, right, no.

Because I looked it up because I was like, I need to hear one of these bitches talk now. And it literally happened in like butt fuck forever ago, and I was like, there's no way anybody's lift the Titanic.

Oh it only happened in nineteen ninety seven.

Oh what the So the movie was a documentary the movie?

You know, the movie was just happening in real time.

Wait, like it was just like a couple of friends got together and went on a cruise and wanted to like film each other and make a blog.

Guy who does thinks that the movie Titanic is just the vlog of Titanic. Wait, so you're telling me that didn't happen.

No, it did, all of it.

No, all of it happened, but they didn't know they were gonna get out on videos.

And that's why it's three hours long, because it's like, how could.

You cut it? Was? It was the new the newest Jackass movie. They sunk today, are gonna crash this fucking cruise ship into an iceberg?

Yeah, I happened in nineteen twelve. But yeah, so I was watching that and then like I was watching all.

These videos about like cruise ships and like things that go wrong, and like blah blah blah blah, Like as time has gone on, there's so many precautions that it's like rare. Obviously, it's like with flight, it's like more as time goes on, it's more and more rare for it to happen.

Yeah, but I was.

Thinking about it.

I was like, humans are so funny for choosing this, like as like a thing that you spend a lot of money to partake in. Because the way of evolution of travel, Like I don't know, if I have this out of order, I might be wrong in terms of like my thought of this evolution. But like, okay, when we started like whatever, when humans were starting out, they were like fuck walking as hard as fuck running is like not viable. Okay, cool, we can get on these horses and we can like travel.

Should have stopped there. We should have never gone the horse.

We should have sat our ass down, boned and died.

I get the connection like horse girls have to horses because like after riding a couple of horses in my life, like they're they're alive in there, like they're really and like.

Also there, they're alive in there.

They're also like ushered in just humanity. They like helped us and like we grew together, like we're just like a little duo horses and humans.

Well now they're so fucking irrelevant to our life.

It's actually, yeah, it's really sad.

The only connection I had to horses is at the park I went to. There was like a horse like riding thing as a kid, and every time we had to walk by, I'm like, oh my god, it's gonna smell like shit. And that's my only connection to memory to horses. And then I rode a horse in Hunduras. I would like to do something like that again, like go to like Costa.

Rica or something and like go to Missouri.

And actually I do.

I am going to Missouri this summer, like without it out anyways. Anyways, anyways, so yeah, that's but that's for our world tour when we go to Missouri. So like evolution whatever, we have horses and we're like Okay, this like isn't viable if we want to cross water, like horses can't fucking swim like that, Like we need to figure something out.

And they're like okay, yeah, boats.

But then obviously there was like plagues and like insane like mass deaths and fucking like the Pirates and like.

Eh, vitamin ced deficiency. Yeah.

Literally, it was just like insane and humans were like, Okay, fuck, we have to figure out another way to cross this like big thing of water because so many people die on this travel. So then we had planes and then we had cars and like whatever, that's not the right order.

But I just thought about, like how recently the world is like hyper connected, like we can just go across the world and that's like a new thing.

No, you can get on your iPhone and plan a whole like trip to the other side of the world right.

Now, and that's like new, Like yeah, whoa.

When we were younger, you even had to go into travel agency.

Like what is how old is like commercial travel?

I'm gonna say probably since nineteen twelve, since the Titanic. I'm kidding, But basically what I'm saying is like the fact that we evolutionized past having to be on boats. Everyone made the decision that like, okay, boats traveling that far is not good, Like, we don't like that. But one of those motherfuckers was like, okay, wait, but if we put a bar, a pool, a strip club slide on this damn boat, I won't pay thousands of dollars.

To get on it.

Yep.

If you would have been a slip and slide and some tequila on that boat, I'm getting hot.

Have you been on a cruise?

No, the cruises scare me. Also, I don't come from a cruise money.

It is kind of awesome. Cruises are kind of awesome.

Have you been on one?

Yeah?

I remember that.

Oh.

I only knew one kid growing up who had been on a cruise, and she was like the girl my whole life. I doubt there was that big of a financial difference between us growing up, but because she had done things like get on a cruise and her godmom drove a Toyota Camry from twenty eleven in twenty thirteen, I was like, I want to be you so fucking I was like, she's living up.

Yeah. I went on a cruise, a Disney cruise to Disney Island and.

Then what the fuck is Disney Island?

There's I don't think it's Disney Island.

Soon there's gonna be Amazon Island. There's literally a Page island.

Listen to this. Okay, I'm airing my own shit out right now, but let me let me get the number real quick. Speaking of Jeff Bezos, let's move on to Elon Musk.

Did you know that Jeff Bezos was actually Latin His last name besos.

Yeah, it means kiss, Jeff kiss Jeff kisses. Actually really cute. Fifteen of the twenty three monkeys that Elon Musk put the neural link in died. They're dead. How I feel? Yeah? That devastated me. Honestly, I was like, damn, so now you're not getting the neural. You know, I'm gonna get it when it drops, but it's not as near as I thought it was going to be. Can we talk about how Elon Musk like literally kind of actually sucks, Like he hasn't done really anything.

Is the ultimate scammer, Like he literally he liked he.

Got done is pollute the fucking He.

Got like a few like things done, And people were just like, this man is going to change.

They were like Tony Stark. This, y'all's iron man.

I've never seen and I've literally never seen Elon Musk being held captive and make a new heart.

Though I can tee, I can recognize the Elon Musk hate, and I do hate the man, but I still want that goddamn near link.

Really recognize is real and that's how you are with Elon Musk.

Yeah real, I'm real and I recognize it when I see it. Put that got Elon Musk. Please put the neural link in my brain. I am literally putting myself on a platter like you can kill me. I don't care. I won't sue you, my family won't sue you. Please put it in me and see what happens. So two things, m I broke my New Year's resolution.

What was that.

To vape? And I've quit? Have you seen me with a vape in my hand since Mexico, Mexico? Yes?

I did fucking see you with a vape in your hand in Mexico.

No sense Mexico. Okay.

Also, I'm gonna air you out.

I was driving us back from tepeloson where we filmed the last episode, and we were driving back and like everyone fell asleep except Jester, and like me and Jester were just like chatting it up, and then I'm like.

What the fuck is that smell?

Because it started smelling like the most artificial, like lead infused scent I've ever smelled in my goddamn life.

And I was like, what the fuck is that scent? What is that smell?

And Jester was like, I don't know, And then Jester was like, I think it might be the vape, like it might be the puff and I was like, no, the fuck, it's not. Like I'm like it, like what's happening? And I'm driving in the pitch dark so I can't look back. And then Drew wakes up like moaning and grown.

Me, I'm pissed. I'm living, Okay. I fell asleep like this And you describe it for the or non visualists.

Yeah, head between knees, bent down like he's prepping for a plane.

Crash, and I have the puff bar in my hand.

Which is disgusting, Like why is that comfort?

It's like it's my little pasty. I gotta fall asleep with it. It's like I always have to have it on deck, like in the emergency that I need to hit it again, So I fell asleep with it in my hands, and I guess like my body heat or like there was like maybe like suction somewhere in there, because I was like folded over like a fucking lawn chair that like it was just constantly ripping and leaking and spraying juice all over my body. And I woke

So what's like comical about it, like to me was we were in the middle of the mountain, so it was there was no shoulder.

To pull over on or like anything.

But I just hear Drew being like can we pull over?

And I was like, we literally can't.

I'm going like seventy miles an hour down a fucking mountain right now.

Yeah. It was so awful. And then like me and Kai switched seats because I was in the middle seat. That's what you'll get for putting me in the middle seat.

Are you anywhere?

And he like held the water bottle out of the window and I like washed being pop up and it was spraying all over my hands and all over my body, and I was not only did it not work, but I was soaking wet because all the water sprayed inside off of me. I actually wanted to die. I actually like in that moment, I would have embraced death.

And then also like the nearest gas station was just as far, it was further away from the air.

Please can we go to the gas station? Go so I can wash my hands?

Please? Please?

Is that why you are done vaping? I'm well sad to hear you already gave up on your news Year's resolution.

Well, no, I literally think it ruins my life. I think when I have the vape, it ruins me. But I just need advice. I need something because if I don't have that, then I'm gonna turn. Your advice should be.

Overly caring of for yourself and like self care.

Oh you're my advice. Come here, You're You're bad. I can't get rid of you, can't get rid of you.

Help help If you ever say something like that, like publicly.

Talking into it, I can't hear you.

Are you choot? I have this written down before you go.

This is so fucked up. But while you were talking about the vape, I thought about how I used to play Call of Duty World at War two or whatever the fuck it is on the Wii because my dad really didn't want us to have it, and my uncle got us a copy for the week because my dad thought it was only for Xbox and like ps, whatever

And I literally couldn't believe that. And I literally couldn't believe that.

But I just thought about that because every time we film, I like put my phone between my legs because I don't want it on camera, and it vibrated and I did squirt a little. I do that sometimes I am sitting in a little puddle right now.

That's in the car. I sit with it like that. It feels for a telemarketer to call me, Please call me and call me twice because I don't answer.

They called me twice and then leave a voicemail on the second one, so that after a minute, when I'm like I'm done.

It gives me one last, one last little shock.

Oh your fucking feet.

My flippers, let me cantort my body in peace. Yes, no, they're my little house shoes. I got little house shoes because my feet are cold. Because it's a cold sixty degree day and I put on my house shoes.

It does get literally cold in this house.

It's fucked up.

It's I forgot that I'm literally sitting like on a pile of liposuction. It's just become everybody's normal, and everybody's just accepted it. But like I forget, like I actually think I've morphed my ass into like this like lumpy like gross mask.

Now you haven't morphed your ass, but the heat and pressure from your ass and body have fully morphed the chair so that there's now like a true concave for you to Yet.

It's not bad anymore, but I do like think it is kind of fucking with my spine. Like I know there's like this thing where if like like men normally typically have their like wallets in their back pockets, so when they sit on it, it like has them sitting like one ash cheek up, one down, and it fucks

I put my wallet in my back pocket.

But that's because sometimes I like the way like it makes it look like I have an ass. And then when I have to take out my wallet, like there's just like that big open space from the denim being like like stretched out, and it makes me really sad.

And now I'm just stretched.

But that's why that's why I got a BBL when while I was in Mexico.

Oh bitch, this is exciting. This is really exciting. I am ten days sober from TikTok. Yeah, ten days. Can I get a little celebration.

The funny thing is when I kept talking about not having to talk, literally, no one batter than I at me like I was the weirdo. And now that everyone's like following suit and falling behind me, Like I guess it's like it to be the murder of a cause it's like you just have to take.

That you're the taste maker in the trendsetter. You don't get the recognition, but I will. I will. God, how do you feel. I feel like a fucking dinosaur. I don't know anything that's going on anymore. Like I just found out today that Russia's invading Ukraine or whatever. I don't fucking know anymore, which I feel like I would have found out a long time ago on TikTok.

I would have never known that, because my TikTok timeline was only pretty girls and then toxic girls talking about how toxic they could be in relationships. That's awesome, and then people being mean to me on my timeline.

But I got Do you know why I got rid of it?

Why?

It's because I saw myself too much on it and it was freaking me out.

It was making a little ebsistential, and.

I saw people, like for the first time, like discussing my life in comments, which like, I don't give a shit, it's funny to me, but like it was kind of scary.

Waite that one comment thrid you read it was so fucking funny, let me find it.

It's actually basically how it went was someone it was like me talking about like relationship or something, and someone was like has drew every day? Did anyone? And someone responded to the comment and was like, uh yeah, he like talked about dating someone and then they broke his heart. So he went on a camping trip and then his brother died. The stirring of events is actually the funniest thing I've ever read in my life.

I'm like, Okay, first of all, you could ended at the first scenario, like you could have just said that, but like I.

Guess they were. They were trying to protect you.

They were like listen, like, don't talk about relationships.

But it did the comments eight. So that's all I care about is as long as like I'm being talked about and the comments are eating, it's all good.

What I've decided that.

I'm gonna jerk you off tonight.

No you're not. No, you're not. No, you're not.

Yeah, Well I literally I just I already decided it. I didn't say like, oh can I like, will you be like free later? I like, it's in my Google calendar, like I have to it is in mind. Yeah, I know that's what I'm saying. And we have a connected Google calendar. So anything I put in there, you're doing.

Bro, Like we've made that honestly. Yeah, yeah, I'm honestly done. Yeah, okay, good, it could be a vibe.

I was feeling like a deep seer of rejection for a minute, but like it's good to know that.

He's like, yeah, bye, I'm literally playing with my gum right now, like fucking flat, and I actually have lost.

I'm not kidding I this is something I do all the time, is after I have a piece of gum, I put it on like a cup or something that I have. And people find that disgusting, but it's not that discussed.

I just tried to do that.

Yeah, I do it all the time. I put it on my coffee.

Page from your book. I think I took that page from your book.

I don't have a book. What the fuck are you talking about? I literally don't know what.

Is the book of your life? Like, what you do?

You have a book of my life?

My god, she's a psychopath.

What is he talking about?

Am I like, Oh, I'm the freak you're talking about taking picture You're talking about taking pages from my fucking book.

I wrote what is it? A biopic about your biopic?

Biopic is a fucking movie.

I wrote one about you. I wrote it, and I wrote an autobiography about it.

I think autobiography is when you write, because so it's a biography.

You don't know shit, Like you're so annoying.

I can't be myself around you. I'm just saying I say one thing. It's got to be a conversation. Cor It's always got to be corrected. My life is always has to be corrected. I'm the guy to correct it seems despiraling. For like five minutes, it seems, well, what the hell else is there to talk about. I could talk about the worst airport experience in my life. Actually, we don't have to talk about that. I think I was cursed.

You were fucking cursed, Drew.

Literally, I actually think I have a curse. I think there is a curse on me. And our friend said that I need to there is like this, like who said this to you Joyce. Joyce was like, oh, like when I was younger, my I forget if it was her grandma or what. But someone was like, oh, we need to see if there's like bad juju around you. Let's there's like this thing.

You you do the egg thing, and then when you crack the egg, you see what happens to the.

Yeah, it's like a tea reading tea, but you rub an egg all everybody, and I ironically want to do that, like because I.

Actually you just go and get like red to filth.

Because I could do that. I could do that, but I could also do the egg thing.

I think you just.

Want a reason to like rub eggs on yourself, which sounds like very like balls.

Over my oh body. No, I actually do think I have a curse though, because literally everything that has been able to go wrong has gone wrong.

No.

I think you just when you go like a month without any inconveniences in life, like you literally beg for chaos.

I beg for and then I get it and then it.

And also it's it's it's like the most minor chaos ever. It's it's like things that are like, Okay.

Yeah, like I hyper fixate and I spiral on the little little thing.

I'm gonna spiral my ass onto your wiener.

But yeah, I've just been Yeah, I've been cursed and I need it lift.

Okay, I'm gonna be honest. I put a hex on.

What the fuck are you serious? Yes, I'm sorry, why would you do that?

You pissed me off?

What did I do?

I don't. Well, that's a part of the hecks, is like if I say it out loud, you'll like ask for forgiveness and then the hecks will be lifted.

And I don't.

You're just making up rules. I'm not I did. I just did it out of spite. You just were jealous of me. Oh yeah, I'm jealous of you all the tail that I've been getting you have.

Been having how the secks.

Also fun fact, Kai actually isn't here.

He found that.

Girl in Mexico and stayed with her. So guy's living in Mexico now.

And we've just been calling our fill in Kai.

I thought you.

Said we're calling our villain Kai, and I was like, no, our fill in until we found our new.

Kai, Dan.

We're calling him Kai.

Yeah, sorry, say hi to Dan.

Yeah, it's it's a new guy. It's Dan. It's it's a new white dude. It's Dan.

We also, yeah, we got we got an impersonator.

So we have two new employees, Dan and Phil. Yes that Dan and Phil.

We flew them up from London. They're here, they're working.

Come on speak British.

Okay, Phil, Ryan, how did your face get so?

I gotta go to the bathroom real quick, Phil take over.

You're scary funny.

I feel like a little kid watching their parents like be human.

I miss? What did I miss?

I don't know why.

It's actually freathing me out, literally scary me.

You know what, it's so much his employees are scaring. Yeah, that sounds like a mass cancelation f profiling British people. Fuck.

Oh, we gotta what I was gonna say, But I don't know why.

That's just me saying, like I feel like a kid watching a parent like be a human for.

The first time.

Is it's so funny as kids, like parents are not supposed to be human can do that's like what's like trained for, like society, and like as a kid watching your parents do anything, and you're like, oh, you're so fucking stupid, and then when you're coming into adulthood you're like, oh my god, I am so fucking stupid, and like it doesn't seem like it's gonna get any better, like it does.

Like the protect my protection of intelligence.

Is like barely moving, Like I'm moving very slowly.

I did this really nerdy thing the other day, speaking of intelligence. Tess no no, no, no, I signed up and I am now paying five bucks a month for this like online, Like I don't even know how to describe it. It's like learning math because I feel like I don't know math.

You are so fucking weird with what you choose to spend your money on.

Like, well, no, it's it was a seven day free trial and then I just kept it and I have it for a month, but I'm gonna cancel it because it kind of sucks.

You're going to cancel them, cancel.

The entire company unless they fucking pay us. On the podcast, I'm not I swear to God, I'm not mentioning them by name actively. I'm not doing that because y'all are not getting Yeah.

God forbid, it fucks with our other ATTERI.

Not even that. It's just like no free promo. But God, like like anybody here would be like, yeah, I'm gonna go learn math.

God has smile on me, Yes he has.

That is that has been my vibe lately.

God, there's another one. It's like today day to day, thank you got a very good day. Fuck.

I know I know what you're referencing, but all I can think about is.

Have you hope you have a very good day.

The sun is I'm feeling okay, that's not that's nothing good day. I that was making me think of the vine where the guy's like in bed and his head is like popped up against a window and he has like a smiling cup behind his head. He's like, every morning I wake up.

I reached old cup. He's getting head in bed, he said, his head in bed.

Can I see your morning would tomorrow?

Yes?

Yes, and ironically yeah, dud.

One time, I know what you're I know where you're a fro.

One time me Oriyan and Indya, like we're all sleeping in a bed together. We were just like slumber party and like I we all woke up at like the same time randomly, and Oriyan actually traumatized me for life, and she was like, like, your morning would on my thigh this morning. You were excited, and I like, I was like, oh my fucking god, are you serious? Are you seriously? I freaked out and was like apologizing and I was so scared and she's like, I'm fucking with you,

Drew falls asleep like a little mummy.

Like actually, oh.

My god, you want to you wants to go to Egypt, but we literally can't.

I want to go to Egypt really bad. I've become obsessed with the pyramids again and upset. You know, I see the.

National Geographic magazine, but because I didn't have any cash on me, I couldn't buy it.

But I was going to buy them.

Thank you. It's a thought that it's.

My big tits that count.

Yes, yes, yes every time, yes, yes, yes, but I've become obsessed with no, I've been. I'm obsessed with the Mayan Pyramids as well, like the I watched the documentary last night about it. They were two, there were two cradles, not just one, but there were millions.

Holy shit.

They've started using lydar scanning to scan the floor so we can see through the trees, and they've been discovering like so many like unknown like villages and pyramids and sacrificial places and holy places for like the Mayan people. And it's crazy. It's unreal, like this entire I think the entire rainforest is just covered. So the civilization was way fucking bigger than we've ever even imagined. We thought

I have no idea what you're talking about, but like I can respect that someone. It's sweet because I was gonna say someone on Patreon did ask like, oh, what are your like current like obsessions and what are you into?

You're into that.

I'm into religious paraphernalia, bongsio searchings, yes, searching for God in my bong water holy.

Water inside the cross bong.

I'm back to taking photos, which is fun. I'm back to like using my point and shoot my medium format. That's been fun. That's been a it's been a key, that's been a sligh, it's been a serf. Those are my obsessions. This is my obsession.

I'm trying to think if I have I'm obsessed with like Egypt.

And my culture history.

Yeah, history, And then I just.

Thought, like you saying that this is not funny, but like when I said culture, it's like imagine you just started culturally appropriating like Egyptian and like.

My like Tricia pays she is honestly, she's pregnant, she's having a baby.

No she's not.

No, she is not a baby.

That's that's sweet though, unless she's struggling with like having a baby.

Like I'm it's like, you get your truth, you live your life, you get we make mistakes and we just get to continue to grow. And I love and I do actually think she will be able to turn off this like facade that she has on the Internet where it's like like doing every problematic thing possible just to get a rights out of people. I think she will be a good mother. Yeah that's my that's my take as a man, Thank you.

But I think I think most I again, that's why I believe and just like human chick, because I'm like I feel like at any point, like not anybody can be a mother because obviously that would be like but legitent for me to say, but like genuinely that I am kind of like with that idea where I'm like I think it's like so animalistic to like turn it on and off but I also am like very understanding that that's like not the case. Most times.

I've had another obsession recently, but I can't remember what it was.

It's probably me.

It's not really an obsession when I watch you sleep at night, like that's not an object.

I just know that what you're what I know I was joking about like me being your obsession.

Okay, well I was joking too. I do not climb a ladder and look through your windows at night, Like I don't prop up a ladder and just like look in like that's weird. I would actually never do that. So you sound dumb now.

It sounds like it's something you do and you're like backtracking heavy?

Were you singing usher By?

There is my obsession? Concession?

There's an he has an obsession song too, I don't think so, yeah, let's not quote me on that because you have.

Never known a lyric in your life.

Then at that, Yeah, it is confession.

No, oh that's not usher Oh wait, confession's part two? Oh that is that is.

We have Oh wait, he does have a song obsession. No he does not. He has confessions. M I'm not kidding.

Do not play with me like that does YouTube took down our one video sto Man know it fully.

Has been a's been. I'm for real, don't play with me like that. That's us.

I that is my worst I've said it before.

I could be watching absolutely fucking anything and say that's me. Well, we were watching the super Bowl and I was like, that's me deor Josie and Kai.

It was Will I Am and Black Eyed Peas performing at the super Bowl. Oh, we've that's something that we've been doing a lot recently, even previous. You know, what I'm obsessed with is Michael Jackson lore, Like not Michael Jackson as a person, but like Michael Jackson as an entity, as an entertainer entity, Like how was he able to do that? No, actually I was he able to take over the world and do literally everything I'm.

Obsessed with, like entertainers in general.

Like it is comical to me the fact that like again this is just a proof that like evolution has gone, like we should have stopped when it was obviously we're supposed to stop, because why are we like packing stadiums And this is like from the dawn of time, Like even in like ancient Greek this was like a thing

Like the there was a point where he actually could have taken over the world. I genuinely think, yeah, he was, Like he was a kill for me. Everyone would have killed for him. I really do think that. That's what I'm obsessed with. Is just like his relationship with his fans. I guess they're like, like just how big he got? Like how like like literally, I don't know.

I don't know, Jesus Christ, I don't know he was. But Drake is bigger than the Beatles, But don't know.

How I right now, yes, I think so.

Drake is more important than the Beatles.

And I'll stop there, and I'll stop there, like we don't have to worry about it. We literally don't have to worry about it, Like you're forgive me.

Out on ironically though, I believe that, yeah, same, I'm.

Not kidding, Like the Beatles did absolutely nothing for my sleigh life.

But I'll let I'll let they put some water and pennies on a drum and hit it, and they like they revolutionized music forever the bitch. They were high as balls, they were on acid.

What the fun was gonna say?

Oh my god, I lost it. Okay, you're at an hour?

Wait? What was I dan? You're at an hour?

Sorry?

The Kaim personator is going a little too far. Like there, he's like pushing boundaries that we.

Don't even do noises, trying to catch it.

I'm trying to catch you when you fall.

I don't be here for you.

I'm so sad.

I was gonna say, so whatever, Maybe that's a sign to shut the fuck up. And the episode is over.

And we're gonna talk about Bedian now media for my boss, I watched Spencer and that movie is so fucking good. There's nothing better than being a woman in despair, shame, anger, erotica, serve each your pearls if you just see your heart. God, that was such a fucking good movie. Christin Sewart slays the house down boats every day, serving tea, wigwater, cunts giving.

We know, and that's really good.

And then for music, I'm gonna have to say he Got the Girl by Marine Girls, My Truth, cocktwo Twins, Cocktail Twins, Snakeman Freestyle by Baby Father, and I think I said I'm Getting Used to You by Selena the last episode. But I'm gonna say Ride the Dragon by f KA Twigs.

You've been listening to a lot of FK Twigs. Well, I've already kind of discussed my media. Like Egypt documentaries are really cool right now, and not the like aliens built the pyramids, like no, like like the people, yeah, the cool shit about it, like them having batteries and like, yeah, them they have batteries. Look it up. It's crazy. I think. Another I watched, uh, Eternal Spotlight of the Sun's.

Dude, it's just the longest name in the world and it's like a tongue twister. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Wie.

I watched that again recently, and that is a great movie. However, the soundtrack has been in my rotation. I wake up in the morning and I put the soundtrack on a little bit and I cry. It's so evil, Like how like I think I think it's evil because I tie it to like things happening in the movie. There is

I know, I know you're not.

I've ruined it probably for everybody, and I'm not. I laughed like that, and it was nice.

We have the worst It's a humor ever that like actually ruins everybody's life and day because literally, like I know, I can picture in my head, I know that scene, and I also probably would.

Yeah, because it it just caught me off. God, I forgot it happened. But that soundtrack is amazing. Listen to that soundtrack. And then for what were we gonna say?

Though, I was gonna say, that's one of those movies that I haven't watched in a long time because like movies like make Me sob like you've seen it, we talked about it before, like, and that's one of those movies that I like can't rewatch because I remember how like fucking heartbreaking and heart wrenching.

It was to watch.

But I it's it's always been like in my watchless where I'm like, oh, I need to put on a movie right now, where I'm like I need to rewatch this, but I can't do it because I'm usually like in a good mood and I'm like, that's gonna.

Ruin my life.

That's like I refuse to watch Blue Valentine because I've always been told it's just like such a fucking sad movie for the sake of like a real sad story, and if I watched that, you don't have to talk about.

I'm so fucked up right now. I'm literally so fund up.

Okay, So my music, and then I want to talk about this next little thing, Real Love Baby by Father John Misty. Such a cute song.

That song loss so much sweetness and like love in my brain for like twenty twenty. I have a really sweet sorry, no You're good. I have a really sweet Memory. I think that might have been the song. I'm pretty sure. But me and Orian when like this is like no one was there, but when we have this like really sweet memory together that like it's one of my favorite memories with her.

Was like during like the.

Summer of twenty twenty, when like chateau was like closed down, we got invited to go hang out with literally like four other people there and it was just like barren and empty, and we were like listening to music and like drinking and like talking and like sitting there and then that came on and like we's like started dancing in the hallways of like the chateau and like holding each other's arms and like spinning around and like running after each other.

And it's very that's cute.

And I wasn't there, so oh because you were you were off having fun.

Me my brother being dead is not me having fun.

Well when you yeah, when you phrase it like that, it sounds like awful.

Okay. The game goes on by DJ screw K, Rhino and Ze listening literally and then this song is in my new video Lambent Rag by Clark. I love a good piano riff. I love it slaves my life, and I just love throwing you off for a loop on my YouTube channel.

And nothing feels better than being in complete and utter fucking despair.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I just what did y'all think of my new video? Be honest?

When this comes out to be out, yeah, all the comments are partly like, oh that sucked.

That sucked, like you should.

Like should I continue that series?

I'm gonna If you don't continue, I'm just gonna hide it.

I'm gonna I'm gonna hire Dan to impersonate you.

Oh yeah, he's really good at that ship.

Dan. When you do that, you have to say, if you're in a earth, Phil is the impersonator, No, Dan is sorry, he's fucking have your name. Dan is the impersonator. Phil is the one actually filling in and like doing the work. Oh no, I I I'm.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Oh it's me. It's so cold.

Oh my god, you're you're really good.

I committed here job. Come on that three hours?

That three dollars an hours.

Really don't tell them that. Oh sorry, well it's like fifty dollars an hour in British money. Okay, I really want to watch this movie called The art of self defense?

Oh yeh, should we wait?

There was a movie we're gonna watch tonight or a couple of nights ago.

Being John Malcholvi.

Yes, because that's a movie that I never finished. Yeah, we okay, that's the end of the step.

If you got to that of this episode, you'll you'll know if you know.

Next episode, we could talk about the movie and like just watch it so that we can like have an open discussion about it and.

There'd be no spoiler.

New Little Emergency in or come segment is a watch watching movie. Watch a movie with us? All right, well not with us, because like you're not here, but like you're watching it in your own home, and then you come back at the end of the week and we just discuss it together.

Well, if we were friends, I want to let you over at my house.

It's us discussing it. And then y'all are just there.

Talk to your screen. I know you've just been talking your screen. I know y'all start talking.

M