Honorable discharge

Guys.

Hey, Hey, how y'all doing. Hey, how y'all doing.

I just want to let everybody know that I'm really brave right now because it happened after the last episode. Right my tooth. Yeah, I woke up last Wednesday with my wisdom teeth area fully inflamed and read and it looked like it was about to pop. So I rushed to the dentist because Drew looked in my mouth and scared me and told me that if I got infection, it's close to my brain and that I would possibly die. And then he told me that I could have a sish and he went on this whole tangent. Usually I

So you could get your wisdom teeth out in half of your faces, It's.

Yeah, And now I'm terrified, and I haven't called the doctor again, but I have to because now I'm somebody who grinds my teeth in my sleep. And because of that, I've been grinding my teeth and now as I'm talking, all of my gums on the right side of my face are so swollen that every word I'm chomping on the tissue in my mouth and it hurts really bad. But we'll see what I if I do something about it.

No, Grinder got hacked.

True. Wait are you actually crying? Why is it a big deal? You said you don't use that anymore?

Like?

True? Wait, why are you crying at it? I thought you told me you deleted that I did.

But it's just such like a like a band.

You were actually eating, you were that.

It was such a big part of my life and.

For so long, So that's just like the memories.

Yeah wait, I'm okay, I'm okay, But I got hacked and it was shut down for like four hours or something like that, and it was hardest. It was the hardest four hours of my life. Let me tell you. I really thought, I really thought it was over for good.

But it's okay. So it's back, but it's still like teers like that.

Yeah, no, it's back. And it was just like giving like those four hours were like harder than what I'd imagine, like the Marines, feel like I basically like went to war with my soul.

Or like being pregnant and giving birth probably similar.

Yeah, easily, or like going through like a period cramp.

You think the pain you felt when Grinder crashes the equivalent to one single period cramps one cramp. I guys, I'm gonna start what I think pcos. Yeah, yeah, do you know they have to go inside of you and do a surgery to see if you have.

That they go inside you. I want to get that pcso surgery.

You could just get on grinder if i'd someone to go inside you.

That's the church hat bab you're but I don't know what you're referencing.

Well, yeah, I had a dream that I can't talk about last night, but it was very eerie. But I think I had that dream because I'm watching Girls. I started Girls like two years ago, never finished it, and

I thought I watched like three or four seasons of that show. But like, literally from last night's episode, which was like the first episode of season one, I actually like trauma blocked that whole showlder or that whole whole show or something whole. I keep saying whole, like I'm not thinking about whole. I don't want whole right now. I don't want to give my hold of someone like I just it's it's just it's not a radiant slip. So they shut up. But I was going to say,

Well, That's how I feel, like, Dude, did you see we got tagged in the girl's comparison?

No, so far I haven't had Like I'm a bit offended.

Yeah, I'm on TikTok I haven't been on TikTok Oh.

Yeah, his ab was working. So now what I do is I get really high and I go in his bed and I show him my phone. But my for you page sucks because it is the for you page of somebody who gets high every night, and it is rancid. My for you page is like no real humans anymore. It's literally like government made accounts of like making food.

Like, I just feel like I want to see my comparison.

You're Hannah horrorth No, I'm sucking not Yeah, you're Hannah.

Horrorth wait, that's Lena Dunham.

That's Lena Dunham. Think about it personality wise, because you're always saying some ship of like, oh, let the love in, and you'll be like, oh, I hate that, and you very much.

I guess yeah, you do. You give that mainly on the podcast, So it does make sense for people to say that because on the podcast when we're talking, you're like, I actually think women deserve to be because one.

Of one of Hannah's archetypal quotes is I think I made the voice of a generation.

Oh yeah, the first episode, or at least.

A voice of a generation, and that is some ship that.

You said, yeah, that's you every episode being like.

But it's a bit. I need to make that clear. It's a fucking bit.

No nothing.

We don't joke here, we don't joke. We don't we don't play, we don't play. We get on you don't.

And you got Marnie, which one's mine.

I'm like offended by, but I do see let me like, which is fucked up.

Also, I think it's like, you know, characterize, I.

Am offended, but I understand why people would think that. But you know, what's crazy is when I watch that show, I fear I am Hannah, because like Hannah is so insecure that she makes everything about her, even when she sucks up, she's like, oh what did I do? And I fear sometimes that's how I am, like where I'm like, oh my god, that's so annoying because I'm the kind of bitch who does something and then I say sorry eighteen times and somehow, Oh, now we're talking about me.

Wait, Kai, did they make you Adam Driver's leg cast?

No, gave me a bucket. They did not make me the piss or.

What about the krusties that beat up the babysitter.

No, no, I got Showshanna and Elijah.

Let me see.

Elijah is the annoying boyfriend, right.

Again, it's more about character and.

The gay one. Oh, the gay one, yeah, the.

Ex boyfriend.

Yeah, the game one is like there.

Also makes sense because she's so innocent and I'm very innocent and I don't know anything and I'm very delicate.

So that's true. That tracks or you're like weird, it's like actually randomly dainty. He's like a little like fragile, like porcelain thought.

I mean, when you're four foot three, you might as well be dang, yeah.

Not four foot three. I actually just hit six three yesterday. Elijah's very interesting.

I think that thirty, he still grows.

Dude, there's a second wave of puberty.

I actually believe that. I think there are three puberties. I don't think like growth wise, but like, there are three puberties in a man's life. Do you want me to get into him?

I know, I don't think there's anything that dramatic about a man's life. I'm not kidding you know what I was singing. We were talking about this other day because Drew was like, when are we just going to see each other naked? And I was like, dude, I literally can't see you naked because I have such a.

I'm just so sexy and I have like a perfect body. It would be hard to keep you off of me. I don't want that for myself because you'd just be all over him.

You see me naked hella times, but you I will know you naked. I don't want to and you know what it is. And this is like gonna sound crazy, but like actually I don't even know if I can say this, but I don't mean this on like a serious general note. But how do I decide this? Everybody knows that I am like a missandrist, but I do have empathy for men, Like for men, I can't have empathy, but there are certain lines that I can't cross, like and I know it's a problem. I actually don't take

What have you seen? When they put the fucking things on your like like men's like abdominal muscles, and they simulate a period.

Oh and like the childbirth shit.

Yeah, and then they do it on a woman and they're like, yeah, this is what it feels like. And they put on a man and he's like screaming, and.

You know what it is, Now that I think about it, I think I have that mindset because men so like be little women's pain. So I'm like, okay, oh, mister big and strong. Oh now all of a sudden, oh your throwherd. You can't talk like.

Well it we're out like building houses and we have like really rough hands.

You just started the episode by crying because grinder was now for four hours.

And no, no, no, it's just we're in the heat all day. It's so hot that I have to pour water in my helmet to keep you cold.

See.

Actually that's my dad. For my dad, I feel empathy for because I'm like, oh, You've been like laboriously working forever with the men in my life. I'm like, girl, come on, literally get kick rocks. But with you, I have surpassed that with like partially, I'm like, you are a hypochondriac. So I have to like really susser out, and I'm like and like, I have to ignore him. I have to play this whole psychological game with Drew

Kai, on the other I can't see you naked. Kai, on the other hand, is on the ounce what Yeah.

No, I think. I like, as I've grown closer to Kai, I've empathized with him more. There was definitely the first three years I was like, girl like literally.

The yeah, kill yourself, just.

Like you're sad. But now I see you as a person, thank you. So it's kind of like the way men see women as sex objects, except I see men as like like traffic cones, where I'm like, that's pointless. I could run that over and like a traffic cone isn't gonna stop me.

No, that makes sense.

It's like how I view men is like the baby on board sticker in the on the back of some moms vans garbage. I'm gonna text and dry behind you anyways, I'm gonna speed around you, bitch like I don't give.

A fuckly like okay.

Like that's not stopping me. I can't even read that on texting.

Now that you have empathy for me, you can be happy for my I got this huge modeling deal with a huge fucking company you made. Actually, yes, I'm gonna show you this photo and you're gonna be blown away. And it finally mailed that ship to me too, bro, to all the restaurants.

It's all over it's all over the place.

Literally, how you look like in my dreams. Like that's I love saying that about people, Like when people look that identical to you but so different, that is genuinely how my brain imagines them.

Yeah. Yeah, So I'm fucking rich now because that's on every meal plate. How much like three grand? Yeah, three grand? That is that's before cut.

We could lower his pay now, oh yeah yeah.

No, no, no no, since you're getting paid for modeling.

That yes, we pay you like modeling.

You got three thousand dollars.

We pay kuy we give him a good two hundred dollars a month.

It's but that's before cuts, before I mean yeah, after taxis and everything. You're wanting true bucks, Well, I take fifty percent.

We become guys man, we need thirty.

That's what you do. Well, it's cool because you'll be like, oh, here's your check, CUI, And then Drew does a singer says, but Daddy gets his ninety percent and then ninety percent.

You know what's crazy.

When I invested for you, I invest you winked.

You winked him. When I first doing this too, I actually signed a deal that was that bad.

Remember Collab, Oh my Claby.

Is this fucking company that was so credatory to influencers, and they would take like not ninety percent, but it was like they would split it seventy thirty, so you would get thirty percent and they would take seventy percent, and it was on every.

End and it was just just in you, like if you started on the internet and you got like a little ounce of flout. Yeah on Vine, like they went after or every fucking person on there, and all of us were like fucking thirteen fourteen years old, and we were like, oh my god, an agency wants to sign us, Like, that's crazy.

I want to see if I have my emails to them. I was crazy. The motherfucker who ran my account his name was Patrick, and I was a fucking demon to him.

I was literally fucking insane, horrible.

Because I started we all started talking about it, and then we were like, wait, that is bad.

That's bad, Like it's crazy, how predacious, like entertainment industries are on literal fucking children. Because like, not only was it like collab and all that shit, it was like press play, like all everything we did that we thought was cool that they like dangled in front of our fucking faces like a carrot, like they get a horse to walk or whatever.

The fuck the.

Horses like carrots? Is that like a trope?

They?

I think they like.

Apples, carrot on a stick?

Right, that's like is that a horse thing?

I think?

So?

Yeah, I think horses eat carrots.

Yeah, okay, well yeah, kas carrots? What because you have huge.

Teeth and a long and a long face too, and oh but I do have very low body fat and muscles.

Yeah you're saying he's like a race horse and his now listen to this. His seed is very strong people pay for it, bitch. Never mind, I'm not.

Even get in something for breeding horses. Can you make money like good money?

Oh, bitches? Make millions and millions of.

Starting a horse farm? Bit have you seen poring a horse stable off?

T move dude? Horses like you have to like jerk them off and ship though, to come like that, you have to like make up like a homemade pocket pussy? Did you ever do that? Did you make the homemade p word?

No?

I never did, I never ever did.

I did with what two sponges that I soaked in water, and I put them in the microwave, and then I got a glove, like a latex glove, and I put the two sponges inside of a cup, put the latex glove around it, and then put a rubber band on on the like late next glove, and I made a pocket.

Pe word when I was like, no, you made a pocket b word?

Yeah. And then I also microwave. I didn't even hear what you did, but I also microwaved a banana peel and use that as well.

No swear to God, Ill Drew, are you leaving that in the episode That's insane?

I was nine.

That's crazy.

I guess.

When I was nine, I was watching Titanic and literally like I'm not gonna say it because there's berds, but like I was, I was like, Titanic is lit. And there was a movie, Uh, there was a Disney movie that like, weirdly felt sexual to me. The story the Jungle Book movie, the second one. There's this scene with the snake that feels so like predacious and it made me feel so weird as a kid. But trust to believe that VHS tape.

Turned away, turned it up.

I was like rewinding the fuck out of it. I was like, I need to go back.

I missed something.

I missed something, I missed something I.

Didn't have, like a movie that as a kid, like I guess, like I don't. I didn't have like a movie that I rewatched over and over again, but my dad did. And I watched Talladega Knights, Joe Dirt, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Step No, No, not step Brothers.

The one.

Is it step Brothers with John c Rilly and it has John c Riley and it's not step Brothers. It's Walk the Line, which is actually really funny, and the scene of the dude the brother getting cut in half in the barn is literally seared into my like eight year old brain forever. Like that fried me. But those were on the TV at all moments of the day.

You didn't have like a movie you rewatched a lot.

No, because my dad ballhogged the TV.

I had so many that I would rewatch all the time. What's Oh. Another movie that made me like weirdly horny was Fuck, it's the one. It's like the Atlantis movie with the two like the blonde guy and the guy with black hair. Was like the Mermaids siren scene where like all the mermaids are jumping on and like seducing the pirates. Yes, that that scene. I was like, oh my god, the sexy mermaids are coming up like guys, guys, guys.

I guess the Sandlot. I liked it The Sandlot.

Oh, I rewatched that a lot. But that was just like for funzies.

Yeah. I swam in a pool all day and then made a palette with all of my baseball friends and put Sandlot on on the TV upstairs and felt We all fell asleep in our wet bathing suits and woke up the next day with like rashes all over our fucking legs. Again. We were six seven, so like, suck my balls. It's just part of life, you know, just getting fungal infections, infection. Yeah, I guys, I don't think I was celebrated enough for this. There were two things

I was going to say, I feel like I only saw you have like two drinks.

No, I would it out. We had like three before.

And then that was so fucking fun. Yeah, in the corner, tickling each other.

And like yeah, and then like there was the dark sided evil version of Josiah there and me and Kai watched him make out with someone and like get pictures taken of him and me and Ki were crying laughing at just imagining it. But Josiah, Yeah, also, two guys kissing is like hilarious. Like I'm sorry, I don't give a fuck when I see two dudes kiss, like it makes me laugh, but it makes me laugh, like that's part of that story is us.

Like it's like these two like very beautiful men like making out and then we walk up and we're like Tyrrell'll take a photo of us and just like looks at us and like looks at us up and down, then walks away.

Literally dubbed us crazy. I wanted to get in the picture with the Josiah clone, like I wanted to get a picture of him. Yeah. Literally, But I not only went to a party. I not only drank, bitch, I smoked weeds.

Not the craziest part.

I smoked cush. I literally got high, y'all. And I liked it. I loved it. I had fun. I'll never do it again because the uber ride home alone was really scary. It was really fucking scary. Like I was like, oh, I didn't even get that drunk tonight like period, Like I kind of ate like I had fun. I got like enough drinking me that I was like loose and having a good time. Gotten that goddamn uber ubu jav bitch.

I was. I was so mad that because I had makeup on, mine just kept looking like me with makeup.

On with bruh, Well, that's not a filter. That's literally what I looked like without your head.

No, that's you took your wig off. Yeah, I like, you haven't been that fucked up in a long time.

My stupid fucking wig bro pull it off my hand.

Well, at that party, I had so much fun, but by the end of it, I also got like way too high. Where everyone I was talking to I was like, you're yet again.

I didn't get the praise I deserved for smoking weed. Guys, sound off.

I wish I wish you would smoke with me, like I didn't.

Even be I actually want to now. I've always wanted to get like a big, fat, stinky blunt and like smoke it out front, like one of those like big ass like round ones, because I also want to roll my own blunt.

I've rolled the blood since like I lived in Miami.

Yeah, like a stinky, big fucking bland.

I like the thing is is we wouldn't even be able to do that because I am like, so it's crazy. People are always like, stop talking about being high, but like y'all don't understand. Y'all got to fry your brains when you were teenagers. I waited until my frontal lobe developed, and then I got really scared of that frontal lobe. So now I smoke to avoid it.

I do think I woke up dormant psychosis like late. Like I think I did a little bit because like the past couple I probably just hung over. But the past couple of days I've been like fucking like crazy.

I literally think it's from alcohol, Like I do not drink anymore like that because of the fact that it makes me so depressed, like it does something.

All soda press more like soda stream. Okay, I literally ate like hydraulic press of soda, Like why don't you just get a soda stream? And yeah, please come back, please spin back, don't hit me, dude.

I have to shit so bad, so I actually am gonna have to dip for like five minutes. I'm not even Kidding'm about to ship myself.

Bruh.

My antibiotics have been really fucking up my stomach, and like, we have to bleep this because it is actually so gross. I thought, I got my peer three days ago. I ship pure blood. Do we have to bleep that because it is like so gross? But actually it's not gross. Y'all should be worried for me. And I just talked about fucking a banana, but like, no, it was so bad that I was live texting Rain because we were texting while I was on the toy and I was like,

That to me, literally go queen, but I think.

I know, I know, but I don't have dental insurance, so my teeth are going to cost a lot, which is like not there, not chill.

I paid I think four or five thousand dollars to get my teeth fixed like two years ago, and that was but that was like six years between not going.

I'm just not gonna pay. I still have a lot of medical bills I haven't paid. Like, you're not gonna get me.

You don't have to pay medical bills. Yeah, and you don't have to pay taxes. I just figured that out.

Oh yeah, you do have to pay taxes. Wait, actually, bitch, I'm gonna call the I R S. Like I'm gonna get the discount, right, you get it. You get a percentage of how much money tex.

Why did you snitch on me?

That's not cool because snitches get stitches. Bitch.

Well, you're getting kisses.

Later, okay, before you go to the restroom. I wanted to say big things are fucking coming, like for real this time. Like I know, I was predicting earthquakes for like a while and I was right every single time. But y'all, a big thing is fucking coming. I don't know what it is, like, bitch, it might be fucking monkey pox for all I know, but intuitively, like something.

Big is gonna didn't that already come? Monkey pox came?

No?

I mean like did destroy the world two point zero? Like covert.

Do you see that girl on TikTok who was saying that she got chicken pox and she was like, well, if you get the vaccine for chicken pox, you get it, so you shouldn't get the vaccine And people were like, girl, you were supposed to get that ship in school.

Yeah, like when you were because did.

They not let you go to school if you didn't have the chicken pox vaccine? I'm like, where did she go? Were you homeschooled? Also, homeschooling is so fucking ridiculous.

Like.

I want to be inside of an iron loan. Wait, actually I think is a hyperbolic aric chamber would be like so fucking lit. That would feel good on your bones.

Being in that chamber. Yeah, But like imagine your friend's like, oh my god, we're going out tonight. They're not wheeling your fucking cats.

You wouldn't. You wouldn't.

No. No.

I was telling this to someone the other day because they were talking about how like their close friend is super hypochondrac and they live with them, and they were like, dude, sometimes it can be a lot because I'm just like, oh.

My god, you were tweaking right now like me to Chateau.

No, I would not wheel you anywhere. We've had this conversation. If bitch, I would get you a very nice caretaker. I just you the Jack Donahue of caretakers.

I would I would wheel you around and I would let you cheat on me and I wouldn't even be mad.

Kai would probably will you know, would Kai and Mason would take care of Oh?

Yeah, because Mason is like almost yeah, Mason like is to Mason needs to become like bitchy and like hunty and say no people because he is like too fucking nice.

But that's me.

That's what people say about me too.

Hey, and you took her dookie break and we're so back. We're back and I'm bet up and Drew ran in there to smell it out.

Dude.

Kai went and used the other bathroom, and I thought he went in that bathroom. I was like, girl, he as brave as well.

No, I didn't. I actually went to the other one because I'm very empathetic a gentleman, and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

I know.

I ran straight to the bathroom, and like.

You also went and got ziploc bags and like tried to like selling them on eBay. They all they had seven hundred dollars labels on them already. It's very weird.

That's the start Oh thank you, Oh my god, the starting bit.

That's flattering.

I'll give you five percent.

Five percent. That's like seven bucks. Yeah, anyways, that's not seven bucks.

I know that.

Guys, I'm not that dumb. But if you have to take a gummy, if you have to eat a gummy to digest your vitamins, I think you should have your license revoked. Like if you only take your vitamins in gummy form, like, oh, what are you fucking five?

You need?

Oh you need a little snack? You shouldn't be able to drive because that's crazy to me.

All vitamins are snake oil anyways.

Yeah, And that's the thing is, I'm like, I don't believe in that. Like I don't believe in the gummy having like all the vitamins it says it has like you're taking a gummy for vitamin C. I don't believe that. I literally just don't believe it.

Also, with that said, I believe in vitamins. I love vitamins and I take vitamins all day, every goddamn day.

But guy's choking.

You keep coughing, Kai, do you need water?

Human?

Sometimes I cough. You're just interrupting.

I am going to get some more water, just to help with my coffe.

Oh, now you're pissing. Now he's.

He's doing tricks with it.

Doesn't that water taste so good? It does taste good, I will say me. And you were talking about it, and I was like, I think, I mean, I drink electrolytes every day, so fine, but like it is lacking minerals because I forgot somebody was talking about how like in Europe it's not as commonplace to give people water at restaurants because the water is so dense in minerals that most people are just like hydrated as they should be,

You give me this water taste really funny, Yeah, but it is mineralist, so it's like dehydrating you further and stripping all the minerals out of your body.

But I take potassium and magnesium supplements, so I'm shiving.

I'm also I've said this on my ig before too, but I still believe it. If you have to put flavor into your water to drink water, I also think you should be put in a very special kind of prison, because what is wrong with you? What do you mean you don't like the taste of water? A water freaks you out unless you're fucking allergic to it. I don't want to hear it like you were fucking nasty.

Something is wrong with you. When everybody was like going out and buying like a literal medical necessity for people off that like selling it out because TikTok was like look at the thick water, and people were literally like buying all of it up, so like people literally couldn't drink water because we were like, look at you, it's so thick. True.

I know you considered, Oh.

I was just saying I wanted it so bad because it looks so fun to play with.

There was another thing recently, I guess there's this like it's like a wound cleanser that people started buying to use it to wash their face because it gets rid of like all bacteria and it's like apparently really good. And somebody was like, can y'all stop getting this because I actually needed because they have like an autoimmune disease that they get like a lot of wounds, so they have to constantly be cleaning. And there's people who have

I was.

I literally bought every diaper off of the shelf of every target, like a trend on TikTok no. I just bought them because I wanted to see like baby suffer. So I just like bought all of the diapers, all of the formula, and I just poured it into like a big pile and set them on fire.

Could you survive off baby formula?

I think so?

Yeah. Babyfood is disgusting. I saw like tinned meats, like puree babyfood. I was like, you were, I bought one. I can't believe you have to give that to babies because babies need that, Huh.

I don't know what they need?

It literally cat food?

Yeah, I tried it and it literally it basically was like blended up vienna sausage and like lips and assholes, and it smelt worse than fucking Azol's cap.

The thing is, if I went to a nice restaurant, they spread that on like a nice cracker and like displayed it nice, potted out good, like, wow, this is delicious.

I want a potted meat and mayo sandwich. Oh, we need to buy a cub mayo because like I'm tired of not having it in the refrigerator to eat.

Oh, I'm going to use this moment to call out Rain. Rain got in my car though, and she's like, can I do you mind if I eat your car?

I was like no.

Like when I picked her up and she had the stinky sandwich. Ever, granted I couldn't smell it, but it was so funny because she was so insecure the whole time. She was eating it in my passenger seat and she was like, I feel like you could smell I was like, no, I can't smell it. And then she was like, oh, do you want to take it? Bite? And I was like, Oh, what's in it? It was tuna, like a three milk goat, cheese, vinegar, balsamic vinegar, something else that was like really oh, garlic

Well I hear that. I don't know if this is true yet, but if it's fucking true, I'm rioting. I'm like January six Insurrection vibes all over again, because like it's going way too fucking far. They're threatening to make being straight illegal, Like it's basically almost illegal to be straight now, yeah, the Alphabet mafia with that effect though, like not straight people, but you'd be fine. No, they're making it fucking illegal, bro to be straight.

Oh.

Also, at the fucking party, I don't know if I told you this, but I went into the bathroom at one point, shit the most I've ever shit in my life, picked it up and smeared it all over the walls of the bathroom. What that was me?

That was you?

That was fucked up, dude. I know it was funny. Oh.

Actually, at that same at that same party, when I went to the bathroom, me and Sabrina were going into the bathroom and there were these dudes by the bathroom. I was like, They were like, oh, are you going in the bathroom? I was like, yeah, I'm gonna I have to pee. And then he was like what he was like? I was like, I think he was basically like, are you gonna use the bathroom or are you gonna do drugs? And I was like, oh, I'm gonna piss. And then he was like, oh, you guys are gonna kiss.

What gentlemen? Right, gentlemen and gentle ladies.

Hell, I just feel like you glazed over the fact that he shouldn't.

Put well, that's his like party trick.

Yeah, that's like not a party trick.

That's disgusting.

I guarantee something somebody the viewers and listeners like understand and get what I'm getting at, Like it's it's a very like normal thing to do.

Yeah, it's like in school when somebody would always poop on the grates.

The fucking balls of wet toilet paper smushed all over the walls, like that is so funny, Like who was the first person that did that? And was like, uh, I wonder if people still do that on probably worse, except maybe not because they're smoking fucking stizzies in the bathroom now.

Yeah, now they have things to do in the bathroom. Before you would go in the bathroom no phone, because I feel like that's where it came from, Like you can't you weren't going to the bathroom and like middle school and getting on your phone and like doing stuff you were getting in the bathroom, and it was like this is just my recluse, Like I just want to get out of class, but I have nothing to do in here. It's like, okay, I should make a huge mess and destroy someone's day.

I think i'd like, there are people watching that have kept that to themselves their whole life, And I just want to know email me if you were the person that did that shit, because I want to be able to put a face to like the type of person. But because I feel like it's all walks of life, Like I don't think it's like, yeah, it's not. You wouldn't be able to guess yeah, exactly.

Because if I was guessing, i'd guess Kai did that. But I don't think when he was in school, they had developed.

They didn't have yeah, or they didn't even have bathrooms yet. Oh yeah, they were still shitting in like buckets and yeah, like latrines and shitting and throwing off someone toilet paper.

Dude, they definitely had toilet paper. Wasn't that much of a difference. There wasn't, I guess.

Yeah, in nineteen forty three.

There was ton and there wasn't in the forties. It was not in the forties. Okay, when I went to middle school, I'm just deflecting, but did you ever Okay, this is like my first week I was like then the kid at middle school. But I had one friend that went there from like elementary school, and he was like, Oh, we have to go to the bathroom. This is like the first week. He's like, we have to go to the bathroom because some some people are spidering in the

You saw this happen? Yeah, I've seen like infographics of this, like troll like how to poop in the bathroom?

Dude, like they This was one of the most intense experiences of my life seeing someone shit from like the top of the day.

That's really impressive.

That's insane.

Yeah, it was crazy.

Didn't make a big splash.

He got in trouble. He got what do you call it suspended?

He got suspended for that.

Yeah, Well, because he would brag to everyone. He would call it spy during because you look like a spider.

I think that's advanced.

I think he should get suspended for that. Calling other children in the bathroom to make you how old was he?

I don't know if you would call them in, I think everyone would just hear that it's happening and they would get excited.

And went in on their own. Relation boys.

It was exciting though, like it was pretty sick.

Well, in my middle school, everybody would slap box, so everybody would run into the boys bathroom to watch the boys like fight. So that was what we were doing.

Oh.

Also, there was a girl who I was friends with who would always look over the stall and watch me pee and like I was like, oh, why are you doing that?

Have you kept up with her at all?

No, I'm not friends with that person anymore.

That's curious. Was it like creepy?

Yes, it was really creepy. She did it to all of our friends and we'd be like, that's like, I guess, funny, jail, you're going to prison? Well that was like elementary school.

Yeah, exactly. I think we should all put all children in jail.

Well, me Andrew were talking about it, and I think we would have like good looking kids because we use Gracy Abrams as an example, like her parents are giving us, So I think we would have like a Gracy Abrams kind of beautiful child. So that's something to consider.

You guys would have attractive kids because they're both beautiful people.

So no, sometimes I worry that like the ugly parts of us would shine.

Through on a baby, maybe on one of them, maybe on ugly parts.

You don't have ugly parts. We only have beautiful parts.

You backing away, you destroyed that? Yeah, like why did you rip that off of the stem?

Those are also pretty hard right now?

Yah, oh my god, you take that so fast?

No wonder like you can't shit, you have like rocks of taffine.

Yeah, I got fucking good. Oh, Drew came back.

From Texas with like thirty of those lollipops and I hadn't had a single one, and then yesterday or two days ago, I was like, oh, can I have one?

And there was three left and oh no, no, no, they're all inside my gym bag right now. Oh I only brought like the gym bag. Yeah, I have a fucking treat after the gym. I literally eat a piece of candy after the gym.

That's cute. That's sweet.

I deserved it. I earned it. Well.

I have wing stuff after the gym, so I couldn't do any like thing I good I did for my body.

I want stop crying. That's not crazy.

I mean carrying them all than you back thirty lollipops in your gym bag.

Is very will Like my dirty, stinky, smelly Boxers that I'm selling on OnlyFans for one hundred and five dollars. Five isn't that much, but I sell like a pair of a day. It's like a hundred bucks a day.

Damn that's good. That's lucrative.

Yeah, it's pretty pretty crazy. But I have to wear them for a week at a time, so like the lead up to that Dirty Boxer era is like there's seven days of work, but I'm on a ten day advanced schedule.

Okay, that's what was gonna say, As long as you always have one to sell every day. Yeah, Well, I saw somebody leaning their kitchen on TikTok and they moved their oven and cleaned behind it.

And you could never never behind the oven.

Why would you do that? Because like, what stuff falls down there, whatever falls back there is meant to be back there.

Under the refrigerator, under the oven, behind the oven, down the cracks of the oven. Doesn't matter.

Yeah, it doesn't exist anymore. Like it literally it doesn't count. And I'm not doing that. And like, who was the first person who thought of doing that? Also, I am convinced that if I moved my oven, it would explode.

Yeah, gas would leak.

Because there's something else I was doing yesterday that I was like, dude, I always think this is going to explode every time I touch it. Oh, the water heater. I didn't want to touch it because I thought I was going to explode. The oven. Every time I light it, I think it's going to explode. But no, there was something yesterday. Every time I really like this oven, this oven.

I am so scared of this oven, these burners, like all of it. Like I literally it's dangerous. It's a danger to society.

Oh.

At the party, I did turn all the gas stoves on and I left them burning, not burning, but I turned all the gas.

You're talking to Addison, and she bumped into the like she literally almost set herself on fire. She bumped into the oven and it like lit up a little bit. And then Drew was like, should we just turn on all the gas and leave and we were all crying and we were like, oh my god, yes, we love doing that. We should do that.

Let's do that. Adison's y I love you. Yeah, that's like our best friend now and you're jealous.

That's true. I saw it. You know. It was also cool at the party into me wearing a hat and everyone being like, that looks so good. I think that was cool.

You were wearing a hat. I gave him my hat to put on. I put the headband on and I gave Kai my hat.

Wait, you were wearing that hat.

I was wearing the headband and the hat at different points in the night and everyone was like, dude, you look fucking amazing.

I put Kai onto the rids in the sauce.

I was wearing my tr and everybody kept asking if it was my fucking birthday and it was humiliate ah and yeah, and I was like, it's not my birthday. It's just a vibe and they were like, no, it's a good vibe and I was.

Like, yeah that.

I'm so excity very Marny.

See. But you take risks, and that's what I love about you is it's not even risks in fashion, it's just risks in life, and like it's.

Really Can we just take a moment to celebrate with strangers? Can we just take a moment to celebrate Anya. Yeah, I'm going to have one every episode for like five minutes to celebrate our queen.

Go.

You made that really weird and I did really Yeah?

Shit, they never mind because I thought I was gonna.

And also what about me?

No, dude, why does it have to be about you?

Also, yeah, I was trying to do something nice for any in that and then you derailed it.

Oh my god, I'm just being cornered. Oh maybe Enya gets the appreciation segment and we get the yell at Drew and call him gay segment.

Nobody said that.

You just said that. In fact, I run the tape.

You don't know. I might have after we were done with the Anya celebration segment, which you ruined. By the way, it's never gonna happen.

I was celebrating.

You robbed her of that beautiful experience. Maybe I would have suggested we do it for you, but now I'll never know.

Okay, Well, the last thing that I want to say before we go is, Enya, we were literally just sitting chilling, chatting, like I don't know why the fuck she said this, but like at like it was like robotic, it just like was deep inside of her and she needed to say in that moment right then and there, or like she would have rotted away and turned to fucking dust. She just turns to me and she's like, next time we watch Challengers, I want to be masturbating.

Huh I did Wait you said that.

I did not say she did next time we read Challengers and YA said, I wrote this note and you said, next time we watch Challengers, she needs to be masturbating question mark, And I'm was a question.

I was asking, like, oh am I the only yes this spot?

No, No, no, I'm not.

I'm not.

Actually you're right because I want to be jerking off to Patrick the whole time too.

No, okay, okay, So I I did say that, but it's because it is the horniest movie ever. Like it is not like it doesn't have the most sex in it or whatever, but it isn't edit of it.

And I'm like, this is so horny, Like it's the sexual tension of it.

Like the tension is so high. But I wouldn't do that because those are real people and that's disgusting, and like, come.

On, guys, the kiss sign.

Which one are?

And Patrick making the fuck out? Hello?

Oh right, right, right.

Right, I wouldn't do that to clarify.

Which work Drews Sia Drews, siup. Okay, these are fucking ran said, y'all. These actually are so bad. I'm a blunt because God rolled me that way.

No, I hate that.

My grandma always says, keep three dollars in your pocket, so if you see a cute girl, you can buy our lemonade. Grandma. These bitches want perks nowadays. Oh, this is a good one. This is me every night, y'all go out, and I don't go, y'all. I can't go out tonight. I'm off to club Bed featuring DJ Pillow an mc blanket. This one is you for the last six years and me for the last two years. If you ever ever ever need me, I'm always three missed calls and four unread text away.

I I actually don't think anybody would call me in an emergency. I'm not gonna answer. No, like I'm not going to answer. You need to text me, And even if you text me, I'll probably open it and be doing something else and be like.

I'll get just get sidetracked. That's what happens to me is I'm like scrolling through TikTok, I see the text come up through the top, I click on it, read it, scroll off, and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna finish this video. And then like literally three hours later, I'm like journaling and I'm like, oh wait, i should text that person back. Horrible, okay, just answer no, why like no, why have you ever been in the military, And ya know why? Because your panties are covered in dishonorable discharge?

Why are you laughing about discharge?

The other day it was making me crazy discharged to him and he was cracking up. He was like ew and I was like, it's kind of crazy, Like Vagina's just going like a red cycle.

They literally just clean themselves.

It's so fucking funny, bro, It's like goop.

It's also funny like how discharge became like it used to be such a big Internet talk of like girls like posting their underground and being like, my shit looks like this at the end of the day, and people would be like, okay, so that actually might be a problem.

If you never brown, it's covered in blood and green. Mm. Yeah, if her foot is bigger than a size eight, that pussy came from her father's side.

Is size eight a big size for girls?

I don't know. I think maybe a men's size.

Eight, a size eight women's.

Yeah, that's like a size six. Though. You got a little baby feet. Can I see them?

My feet grow?

Wait? Take your shoes off. No, I'll tell you if they're big. I can tell you where your vagina came from by looking at your feet. That's mama's side.

That's that's your party, that's your rips.

You like, wait, show me your feet, show your feet? Slapping ass, dear in sex is getting born? Let me taste you in the back of the head.

Would that electrocute your brain?

Tho, right, I think you'd be fine.

Yeah.

I just got something in my eye that was scary.

I feel like that might be bad for your brain.

Really, Yeah, you learned something every day, y'all. Okay, this one might leave it just because I don't know if it makes sense. Like, I don't give a fuck about your pronouns. Bitch, you smell like she it c slash see she slash it and then I might have already done this one. Bitches would hang out with a squirrel if it had a pack of cigarettes and a camera. Bitches would hang out with a squirrel if it had a pack of cigarettes and a digital camera. That's the craziest fucking thing of it all.

If the squirrel was good at taking pictures, I would Yeah, I need something to post on IG soon.

Me fucking should I show them the picture I want to post on I.

G no, because then someone's gonna post and then you're like, I don't need to post.

Wait is it the one that you showed me?

Yeah, I've bruh every single you put the bunny you filter on.

Advanced. It's so funny. I understand because it is really subtle.

It's just subtle irony. It's like subtly a joke, and I'm like, it's so I don't know if they would get the joke. Also, Drew Moji coming soon, y'all, mm hmmm, Drew Moji coming soon?

Yeah?

Do you not believe me?

No? I mean you've said it like eighteen times.

We're gonna get GT six before we get Drew Moji.

We got Drew Moji before GT we got G T A six before g T A six. God, that was like a pretty good joke. Actually we got g T A six before Drew Moji.

Oh thanks dude, Thanks for wording it like that so passive, aggressive and basically attacking me.

Don't raise your voice at him.

Yeah, you're fucking yelling at me, Like, seriously, you're gonna to brick those goddamn headphones off your head?

What else are we gonna do?

Media?

My media is also I'm going silent again because I'm about to ship myself again. Is Where You Are by Rina Sawayama, Diet Pepsi, Addison Ray Diapepsy's Next Level, Charlie Charlie XX. And I'm still listening to I Don't Need You by Rupert Holmes song for Julie Jesse, Colin Young and Magic in the Air by Badly Drawn Boy. Those are my media.

Mine is Dangerously in Love Beyonce. I came home last night from the beach singing that song to Enya throw a Window, and I was like throwing rocks at her window and shit, and just like trying to be funny, and our downstairs neighbor was standing in her living room watching me the whole time. And like she's a new neighbor, so she doesn't know that I'm her neighbor. And I looked fucking crazy and I was like swinging my shit around.

Bro, what's fucked up is I didn't hear you. I know, I was on the other side of the house, so I didn't hear you.

It was so sad. Casanova seventy by air m fuck fuck Me, fuck Me. I like Ruby Tuesday, good Bye Rumby Tuesday. The Miseducated. This small album, this little album that many of you may not know. The Miseducation of Lauren Hill.

Oh yeah, that's one of the greatest albums of all time.

Yeah, it's a really small album though.

That was very uh Hannah, Horror of You? True? Oh may I say my media. It's only one song. It's not some bullshit. It's someone great by LCD sound System.

Wait, he's give them a little taste and click. What's in there? In the future New York.

I love you, but you're bringing me down.

Okay, Damn whoa that ship is that? It's the perfect size.

I hate this true litera.

Help me and you help me and I'm stuck. I got you, I'm stuck.

Alright. Thanks for watching my