HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME

Uh, breaking news, breaking news error error.

Glitch, glitch. We have something excited. We want to show it. Announce excited.

We have something excited, Drew.

I've been missing that.

Try again, start the sentence over.

We have something so excited that we want to.

Over the camera, cover the camera.

Oh oh yeah, we have something exciting, exciting.

We want to announce for you guys. Our wildflower cases are coming out on the twenty seven. That's a Monday, right, Monday, Monday, Monday, Yeah, on Monday following this episode. So you got the whole weekend to prepare.

And did cute cases that are meant to go together.

For your friends.

You and your friends can all share. And if you have more than one close friend, listen. The problems that start from this are not necessarily my problem. Make it work, Make it work.

A cute see cutey, cutey.

I like, don't fuck with Drew.

And you're vile.

Can you put my case on your phone?

I already had it on my phone for like two weeks. Put it. I like mine better. Don't hit me. We are failing the green mind test right now?

What's that?

It means?

You?

Uh dominate me?

If I never really understood that, Like I saw all the lines in those pictures of celebrities, but I always assumed it was like when David Dobrook's annoying ass would like put a circle on something on the thumbnail.

Didn't he do that?

Probably at some point.

Like at some point that had to have happened, or somebody does that. Maybe it's mister Beast. It's one of those freaky.

Ass like little freaky y'all, little freaky y'all.

Welcome back to emergency in or calm. This is episode two hundred. Isn't that crazy?

Don't say that to me because I believed you. No, but we're not that far.

Oh brother, Oh guys.

As we're filming this, it's my last day of being twenty five.

And when this comes.

Out expired, I'll bespired. I feel like it. I feel like the milk I left in the cabinet the other day, where it's like you opening, You're like, I guess I could technically drink this because it's really cold, but like, do I want to take the risk?

No, Carol, you're still so young.

No, I Oh, trustfully, there's too much life to live after this.

Actually, there's like far a scary amount of life.

But I'm excited.

I genuinely am.

I was thinking about how last year I went into the year with a really positive mindset and then bad things happened. And let's just say this year, I went into it with an even more positive attitude, and even worse things happened, not necessarily to me, but like in the world. So I think we need to lock me up, Like we need to lock me up. When I'm happy, I guess no one else gets to be happy.

You suck it out of everybody. Yeah, yeah, we should just talk about the socio political and economic state of the world right now.

Boh no. I literally was to get that because I was like, oh, I wanna talk about like my thoughts for the year. But I still am trying to hold positive and so it almost feels.

Like I'm still trying to gather my thoughts.

Yeah, I have no thoughts. Oh about what's happening. Oh, I have no thoughts and never plan on hearing the thoughts that I maybe do have, because I genuinely am like, it's cook, guys, teamwork makes a dream work. Don't let them know your next move. No, we're happy, We're good, We're good.

My thoughts are kill them all un ironically, like I can sit in bed and lay there and literally fantasize about changing everyone's life around me by.

Just okay, well you can't say that now, true, Okay, okay.

Well we'll bleep what I said because I really don't want crimes. But like, legitimately I am the happiest, most stable I've ever been in my life. Really, yes, I feel good. I'm happy spiritually, emotionally feel very like mentally well.

Right now, you're like mentally good, yeah, and.

You're mentally well.

This kind of impressive.

It is pretty impressive. I thought you were gonna fall. Okay, you're trembling like you might as well be tworking. Wow, this is pretty yeah, Okay, this is Drews.

That's your audition for.

Auditions for I came out. You put me in coach, put me in Wait?

Should I do an SNL audition right now? What impression should I do?

No? Like, make an original character.

A British person waking up from surgery while the surgeons are still cutting him open. Oh, it was old instant.

Oh it was sold distant.

I think he'd be more like scared and mad an alcoholic British person, so all of them.

But yeah, okay, that was fine. I can't even hold you that.

I'm sorry. Sorry, they're not they're not alcoholics. I mean I would too if it was cloudy every day.

I think sadly most people are alcoholics and they don't realize.

They don't know.

Yeah, they don't even know.

They know about them.

They know who the fuck is cocoa. Yeah, we're we're bringing back in a big.

Way your fucking thing, the audition of an alcoholic you just an alcoholic British guy.

And then it, Oh, it was gonna be a flop anyway, I already I already.

Knew it was gonna abandoned.

Yeah, okay, what would your snl audition be?

I would walk in and be like, ah, fuck you guys, don't let the hot people talk enough.

I'm gonna and then I would leave.

Because I think a lot of the hot people like genuinely like, there's some baddies who I don't see enough, like.

Put them in the bat.

I want to see the baddies, like pull out the baddies. Damn no, I can't because I have big.

Big plans Andya's plotting on the batties.

No, you know who I'm talking about.

I know what you're talking about.

I'm manifesting an snl skit that's like an emergency in or comparody this year.

Yeah, I think it could happen if I work hard enough.

Yeah, if we work hard enough, they would fucking make fun of me. Bitch, don't put me on that damn show.

No, I want it. I want to be made fun of. I think I think true equality is everyone getting bullied.

Yeah, I mean, I like, no trust and believe. I believe in a negative joke about somebody if it's actually funny.

But like, don't stoop too low, yeah, don't don't below the belt. But also, I was stalking this girl who.

You shouldn't be just stalking women.

No, it's like chill, like I follow her around and look through her windows. I don't ever interact with her, though she barely even knows of my existence.

I mean, do you have any like plans on telling her or is it more of just is it like, is it a sexual thing because you're.

I mean it could become one.

Oh no that's not good.

So no, no, no, I've been stalking this girl on TikTok and she made this video of like doing conservative makeup or whatever, and like she she made a video that literally resonated with me so much, and it was like the synopsis of it was like, no, I'm tired of like the miss Rachel's like Rainbow and Sunshine liberals, like we need like to become absolutely vile and mean, and like once I become violent mean, and I started attacking them for their nasty, rotted, gut fucking mugs, their

Ough, I just spoiled me, Like I'm sorry.

I actually am scared to say that publicly because of the amount of censorship happening online. Right now, we live in an oligarchic fascist government. It's over for us, y'all for the next four years, at least until Trump puts in a policy where he can run again, and then by that time he'll be dementia, ridden in a diaper and shitting himself, but will be morse coding his farts, which is essentially the same of just hearing what he's.

Saying, well, yeah, you know shit. Like I the thing is, I genuinely don't know what to say because I actually am. I am so terrified that I am reverting to just being positive, like and that I feel like I genuinely feel like that says so much. But even with it being partially toxic positivity, I do think.

We know what to do, Like it does that make sense?

Like I genuinely feel like there has always been this layer of oppression over minority groups, whether it has to do with like race, sexuality, gender like YadA, YadA, YadA. People have always made it such a point within our society to preserve important things, which is crazy that the preservation I'm thinking of is rights, Like it's just like basic human rights. But within these communities there is a

Even their silence is terrifying. I know they're like, oh fuck, what have we done? But me and Kyle were talking about it, and Kay make good fucking points. It's like there is a silver lining to this. At least they're showing us they're true colors. They're they're not hiding behind the fucking veil anymore. Like they're actively showing us who is in control. And it's twenty fucking people, And.

Well, that's I feel like, also the weird lining is I'm trying to think about like where I want us to stand.

In this, if that makes sense.

But I do think it's a good conversation to have, like on the episode, because I don't want us to seem just like this, because we're not just like this. But it's just a hard line to walk because with all that being said, and I think it is important to talk about I also do want there to be some sort of safe place on the internet still, if that makes sense, Like, I feel like there can be a balance where we can be both entertaining.

But you guys also know that we are not dumb. We are not naive.

We are not ignoring everything that's happening. And I'm scared, but I think existing it's a gift.

It's a gift. Existing is a gift. Guys.

There's also this, like Siah that I feel like the Trump administration is doing where they're like, oh, we dominated, like the United States is like dominantly read.

Now and in reality not the reality.

They only got like three million more votes.

Yeah, And I.

Feel like all of our TikTok people are like, yeah, like this huge shift happened where it's like they they barely beat us, like yeah, it's it's so fucking insane. I feel like so many people are just like damn, I guess everyone's a Republican now where it's like no.

And it's fucking working and.

All of us literally on edge. And I do think there should be some sort of awareness because, like Drew said, we fully do live.

And I can't.

I have said that word enough times in person, and every time I say it, I feel like I say it wrong. So I'm not even gonna give it to anybody because I can't pronounce anything oligarchy, period a right. Every time I say it, I feel like I'm saying it wrong because it also sounds like something from fucking le Loo and Stitch, like it sounds like the fucking oligarchy. Oligarchy.

Oligarchy means family, y'all.

We're in this together, family business. But yeah, we are definitely living in scary times. But I do think it is important to be very outspoken about the fact that y'all aren't gonna shut me up, Like what, literally, what are you gonna do? Drive me off the fucking internet, bitch. I will never shut up. One thing about me is I demand detention from the day I was born to the day I fucking die. So I am going to

I don't even want anybody who.

Even fucks with that shit, because I know there's people out there who are just in the fucking weeds, and I know y'all are fucking with this. I will smack the ever living dog shit out of you if I see you in person, and I know you're on that side, Thank you.

And I don't want to kill them.

We don't.

We don't.

We don't believe in that. On a more positive note, it is a miracle that I have a license.

Oh my god, you literally was like unironically not even doing it as a bit like just did donuts in front of our house for some reason.

They don't you did. I did a loop around to back up into.

A stong like a sound effect.

My music was too loud.

I couldn't hear it, and then yeah, we thought you were joking. We looked over and you were just like dead serious, like blasting your music.

I do that all the time. Like okay. Also, I want to clarify I am a very safe driver. There was no one around, trust and believe I peeked down the intersection or I.

Did all that.

I saw the car, I knew you were there, like I didn't care. But yeah, I'm just an efficient driver. Some people are really taking their time out there. But I'm efficient and I'm safe. I'm the best of both worlds.

Yeah, exactly.

And in a car commercial that would be so fun. I think actually my dream would be to be in a car commercial like any car companies honestly, even like Toyota Burbank. I'll take it, like if it's filmed, well, I will take it.

I'll take the job.

Climbing up the rock wall. And a jeep. Would you do a jeep wrangler?

Yeah, a jeep wrangler. If you drive a Jeep wrangler, I'm so sorry. I love you, but.

Cut get that far out of my fucking face.

And I feel like a lot of people in our audience do drive jeep wranglers. Like it just feels like it's just a really gay car that I don't like.

It's a mask lesbian car. Yeah yeah, it's like it's very masculine. It's it's like subar rus and jeep wranglers. Those are like the lesbian.

Cars I st up with. The Supers though, the nice the newer Supers are really nice.

Like, are you saying you don't fuck with lesbians?

I fuck with a specific handful of lesbians. Yes, well yes, well yes.

Are you saying you hate gay people and you like Donald Trump?

Not all gay people, guys, Not all gay people are bad.

TikTok was supposed to be banned. That's a whole other fucking thing. So annoying pr campaign. Uh Meta will buy fifty percent of it over the next ninety days at some point and it will be compromised. But anyways, I gonna take it, not to get back into my evil, dark, visceral visceral hatred. But I had this written down because I was like, oh, TikTok's going away, like there's no way he'll see it, but I'll talk about it anyways because it's a funny story. So what is happening? Y'all know?

What is happening? Because I'm really scared.

So I thought he was fine, shiit like, I thought he was a baddie, but I didn't know how to approach saying he was a baddie because I was like, I'm going to shoot my shot. So no, ye did yes, Yes, Actually you're a.

Good liar though, because you asked that in a way that seemed like you genuinely believe that's cute.

But we followed each other on Instagram and we were just like chatting and talking and whatever, and it was a vibe. Well, one day, oh my god, it's actually so humiliating. I'm not even kidding. One day I decided devised plan when he posted a story.

Bro okay, actually I want to hear.

So my plan was when he posted an ig story, I was going to send it to you and say, oh my god, he's fine, like he's he's sexy, hot or whatever, but accidentally send it to him.

Oh my god, Drew.

Did you respond?

Well?

I did do that, and he was like, oh thank you, I'm straight.

Oh god, I'll read you the Why would you not like run that past me?

I did? No, you did not, swear to god, I did. I was like, I'm gonna do this and you're like sure because it was like more of a troll than anything.

Yeah. Oh wait, was that the night you were standing on the a table in front of me and giving like a monologue.

I don't remember. This was this was years ago. This was like three four years ago.

Oh yeah, I do.

Oh yeah, huge cheese. Oh my god, bro, it's Sutherland physics. I think, yes, the story, no, but I don't give up. Fuck but I mean we literally had a fruitful, long relationship, truitful.

Yeah.

Wait did you send it to him on TikTok?

No?

On Instagram? This was years ago. I can't find our messages, but Dann, we've talked a lot. Actually, but yeah, TikTok's not banned. But that's an embarrassing story that I had.

I just feel weird because I posted a bunch of nasty whole videos because I was like, it's fucking banned, like we're.

All that shit and we warned.

How did that go up?

Like?

How like it was getting banned. Everyone was doing crazy shit, so I thought it was fine.

But because the people were admitting to not working out and to dying.

Like not eating the muck bangers admitting to not eating the food, like.

Like do you hear yourself?

You are fucking dumb as.

Out, and like them still not posting since they posted that video and TikTok's been back for two days, like which I would be shameful.

And that was really like a suicide ritual, Like that was like a weird like ritual we saw because also I'm confused, like it really does show me the age group of everybody on TikTok the way certain people were reacting, because I felt awful because obviously people are gonna lose their jobs. It's income for a lot of people, it's

Diversify. Oh, I was saying last night, like bitch, I'm going pro, Like I'm a pro TikTok scroller, Like I like, I really I really could go to the Olympics for TikTok scrolling because I'm so good at that ship and I don't use TikTok like all you other bitches, Like I find weird fucking random people in the middle of America and learn every single thing there is to learn about them, and I mean obscure people. Yeah, you do like five like two hundred views.

When you were looking over my shoulder on my TikTok the other day, I could tell everyone you wanted me who's profile you want me to go to?

And I was like, I'm not doing that.

I knew you. I knew you could tell.

I just like I don't like doing that. Also, I found Logan Roy on TikTok.

Is that a Versaci suit?

No, it's like just a random guy in a weird suit. I really like his vibe, though, Like why do I want to South?

This is literally me?

And did we go get me a suit for tomorrow?

I could wear thing?

Before I like rudely interrupted you.

I don't know.

Right before I was saying TikTok scrolling, going.

Pro oh, I'm so bad at it, Like I just.

Hate you were saying something else but shar keep.

Going, oh that you're really good at it, is that what you want to hear You're going No, I was saying that I could tell when you want, Like when we're going through my feed, I could tell Drew wants me to go to people's pages, and I'm just like, no, I don't want to do that. It's so fucking boring to me.

It's so lit, bro, you like you know it's.

Because you're really good at it. But also, I I use TikTok, I don't know what I watch because every time I open the app, I don't watch through a single fucking video Like I it takes so much to get my attention or it has to be immediate because I feel like you've seen me do it. I just like when I open TikTok, I'm just like yeah, it's like I literally just go through until I see something

I see like the most pathetic people on TikTok. Like I was scrolling and there's this guy on a plane and he took a selfie with an iPad.

H oh, yeah, the guy behind him.

The guy behind that guy was so you know, I was actually.

Talking about the guy taking the photo. The guy behind it seemed cute. Oh yeah, he was the guy behind him.

Selfie guy. I really like playing selfie guy. The pathetic playing guy is such a bummer though.

The one behind him.

The one like, yeah, he was like he wanted he was having main characters.

And the one in the back. In the comments, people were saying, he looks like Luigi has Luigi vibes. I'm I'm talking about the game No, from the assassination.

Oh you want to look like an assess.

Oh yeah, that's weird. It's weird in this climate to want to look like an assassinator kind newman.

Okay, well, I'm just saying esthetically, not like, you know, ideologically.

Oh so you wouldn't want to kill the rich?

Okay, okay, yeah, you're picking your song a boot liquor.

No.

That that fucking video taking off in that way was absolutely insane. I literally could not believe the reaction it was getting because like fifty views, yeah, it's got like ten million likes. It was like number in the top ten most popular videos on TikTok for the week.

I feel like whenever a video gets that many views, it like transcends language barriers. It's all something like human that you're capturing.

It's like hitting like the Middle East right now, Like it's like yeah, worldwide. Yeah, I've literally gone. And like the craziest thing is like when I posted it, I was like, oh, this is just like a uh, just a good a draft I'm posting because TikTok's getting banned, Like it's gonna just get twenty thousand likes, but like, bro, like the amount of them, then you're fucking n it

Obviously he's manager right now. But don't worry, guys, I'm only taking ninety percent. He's getting done.

It's getting kind of.

Everything so fair.

Yeah.

Yeah, I have a link up with a hot tour girl coming soon. But no, it was so funny, like people like it's if you know me and you know us, Like it's very obvious a troll, obviously a troll. But the amount of comments that were like, oh my god, this is so wholesome, like I love his energy, like he really doesn't care about anybody else around him, which is very true, Like I really don't give a fuck it.

Yeah, it's rerue.

But my favorite comment was like, oh, I like his smile. His smile is so.

Cute, and it's you doing this smile. No, that was pre that smile.

I think the underrated draft was the one where it looks.

Like you just ate poop and yeah, that did not that did not take.

Lick that?

What is that?

Do? Do?

Lick that? But eat that? But eat that? What?

Yeah?

The draft dump was very melodramatic of me, And honestly, I was watching I was watching them. It's lead pain. Did you watch my story kai on TikTok?

No, I didn't see that.

The amount of drafts I had of me just staring at the camera with a filter with a creepy song behind me was actually insane, probably twenty more loaded up if I Yeah.

You had a lot of drafts that were just that. It was kind of eerie.

Yeah, I was crying laughing at all the people that deleted TikTok off their phone in the second hand and they couldn't get back in, so they were having to watch it through like email in Safari and ship.

You still can't access it rightly.

On the app store.

I thought you put it because I send you stuff and you said you can't watch it.

I thought, are you airing my shit out like that?

That's not that's thought you ever thought.

He's just like ignoring you and wants wanted it like the perfect excuse to not reply.

Impossible.

I don't have TikTok okay, honestly, TikTok's bunk as fuck, Like y'all, yeah, y'all use that app. I'll be fine without it.

I really, I am at a crossroads, like something about it does feel a little tainted. But I'm like, y'all can't take this from us, like you already like you can't take it from us.

We'll see what happens in life.

I just hope it doesn't become like what They don't have the reels algorithms.

I know, because that's what that's what I'm worried about it and I'm scared.

The The reason why TikTok works so well is because it actually pays random people to post, so it can it can become a side hustle for them, and it incentivizes them. And it's like, oh, I can make fucking an extra thousand dollars a month by posting on TikTok, and all I do is just vlog my life like duh, Like I'm gonna do that, and no other app has that. And that's why TikTok works so well is because it's so fucking human, because actually real humans are posting on it,

The little Trump message boot to Meda, you're crazy. As I even read that shit, you're not an idiot. I feel like I only read what it said when people were posting their screenshots that it wasn't working anymore, and even that I was just typing.

I was like, whatever, whatever, what's scary as it wasn't for us, it was for like the fourteen to seventeen year old boys that use TikTok that are like voting in the next election in four years. They see that and they're like, oh, President Trump saved TikTok. I'm gonna vote for the Red Party.

Yeah, y'all are dumb enough to fucking fall for that shit. I hope your mom comes home drunk as fucking beats the living shit out of you.

I'm sorry, I genuinely hope. I genuinely hope Trump gets cancer. I hope his insides melt out of his ass. Sorry.

This episode is literally us like having a funny, fun conversation and then it it literally it always leads back to the fonk like it always. But that's why I'm saying this is the last episode I'm talking about those fucking nasty ass men. Other than this, you won't hear anything from me because I'm not giving them the time of day.

Like I'm not wasting my.

Am I allowed to say that I.

Found this TikTok. That's literally just the what this podcast is. Two girls and the boy they bully.

Actually catch me by my shoulders. I'm gonna line down, Okay, just look.

Up, thank you.

I was literally about to.

Break my neck, bro, like we are pushing thirty.

What chip chip of the chair?

No A yeah, a spicy Freedo, which I think is the best chip I ever made. Remember when being called a local was like a read Like, now all we think for is wanting to be called locals.

Also, what's so funny is like the audacity to call someone a local. And everybody who said my locals was just either at college or made a rash decision to move out of their sting, or.

Was a fucking loser online.

Yeah, like my locals. I never I will say, I never said my looks. I've always loved my local like I've always loved I always.

Like I know, I used it derogatory. I was like my fucking locals. I hate my locals. But it's also because I grew up in a I'm not even gonna talk about it.

I'm not going to talk about it.

I grew up being called slurs.

Well, I'm having the kind of period that feels like it is the period of Christmas pass.

Do you want me to talk to your uterus?

Yeahs in uterus, I'm talking to to you right now. Stop hurting my girlfriend. Okay, you dor I'm gonna I'm gonna beat the ship out of you if you don't stop hurting and making.

Her believe and you're going to hit me, just get down.

So she need her to stop bleeding out of her vagina because of you. You're really really getting You're getting in the way of a lot of things. So uterus, I'm trailing you now. I'm your worst enemy.

I am your nightmare. No, but sometimes I feel like I have like a like I have too many chill periods where they're like seamless, I'm just bleeding whatever, no big deal, and I know, cramps or anything, and then just one month it feels like somebody ran up to me with steel toad boots, kicked me in the vagina, threw me on the pavement, stepped on my lower back, and then turned me over and grabbed two runches and like this with my nipples in them.

Well, your nipples hurt on your period, my boobs, you need massage.

Honestly, Yeah, Like the thing is ill. Come on, that's disgusting, Like I can't even like it's don't say that kind of shit to me ever again.

Okay, just watch yourself.

Oh my god, why is doing makeup? Actually really hard, guys. Like I'm I'm talking about a lot of girl things that y'all can't understand. But last night I was feeling brave and I was like, I haven't played with makeup in so long?

You really haven't that.

Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna do my makeup to see maybe on my birthday I do my makeup. No, no, I don't even have photo evidence of what I did last night because I was humiliated, Like I said it from the mirror and was like, yes, I'm gonna go crazy. I'm gonna give like glamour down. I washed my like I literally, I'm not kidding. I've never gone in bed faster like I like, I like washed my face half half.

All over and went to bed. I can't do it. It's embarrassing.

Yeah, makeup is really hard. You know what else is hard? What? Being a man?

Actually?

Yeah?

Yeah, guys, like just generally just being a man.

Well, like what about.

It hearing about periods?

Yeah, having to protect women.

My whole life is protecting women constantly.

Like not being able to chase after them.

Not being able to chase after that.

Yeah, it's just like it's un ironically you.

Chase people normally yes, is that like a hobby?

Yeah, but no, like actually, like being a man is hard.

But doing that period similar to did make us feel what it was like to be a woman. And actually I redact what I said, and it's actually way harder to be a woman.

Yeah, I was gonna say, it's hell easy like that period shit like y'all complain that.

Shit hurts so bad?

You were moaning, guy, I know, roll the clip.

No, no, I'm gonna I'm.

Too.

Also, uh, Lucas and Josiah were waxing Lucas's legs in the crib and it was the most like Patrick was there. Josh was filming it, and I was like, this is the most homo erotic thing ever because I was in the kitchen and all I heard was like them moaning and groaning and like all laughing and then getting really silent.

While one of them was moaning and groaning, and it was.

Really did you record any of it? I think I did, I think, because I need to hear that audio.

Like I don't know if I got any of the moaning and groaning because it was really gross and I was like, ill take it somewhere else, But I did get this video of Lucas asking Josiah if he should turn over all right, and then at one point they were just playing Boston. No, it was just Lucas and Josie, and I was like, this is the weirdest thing. So Wed such a weird fucking vibe, and it's really starting to feel like we're a bit too.

Old to be doing that shit.

But also, guys, we're reworking the world's I fear we're reworking it.

We're gonna be roommates forever, not because we want to, but because we have to.

Why aren't you gonna marry like a pretty girl or something.

Yeah, you have.

To go off and marry a pretty girl.

To go off and marry a pretty girl and start a family, imagine that art for me. Like, I swear there will be a time in my life that I enter spiritual psychosis, religious psychosis and like become hyper religious and like denounce all gay like low anthony, and like become just like a normal person. Oh no, he's kidding. Being gay is.

Normal, rolling your eyes like eyes, being gay's like, actually.

I just I can feel it in my cards, Like I'm just like a little crazy.

Because it has to be like I guess being straight is a little crazy. Like I'm not even kidding. I was thinking about it in the car right over here. And this is gonna sound so annoying, but if you actually give a fuck about like gender and genitals, you are weird as fuck. Like you are weird as fuck to me, and I am so sorry, but like it's

But I think some people are literally just too boring, Like I don't.

Know, be they're fuck improved, you're losers. That's the other thing about Mark Zuckerberg is he has one fucking body. That's why that's why he's a fucking power hungry loser is because he has one body. He's a fucking prude little twerp with a baby fucking penis that he never gets to fucking use.

Oh, somebody, somebody who gets hot hired because I know Dan will. They are not fucking like taking care about anything in their homes by themselves. So anybody who works in their house. To any capacity, you should sneak near into Mark Zuckerberg's cameras.

Sneak cameras into the house.

Oh I don't want to see that.

No, I need to imp Oh yeah, one time, we're gonna say no. I was just gonna change the subject one time. Another story that I've never told because it scared the ever living shit out of me. It was the most terrified I've ever been in my life. I Uh, for some reason, do you know Lisa and Lina. Yeah, for some reason, when I was like sixteen, I thought it would be the funniest thing in the world to start a death hoaks for them. So I started Alisa Lena death hoax and got it like trending number one

Girls, right, because twelve year olds are getting there.

Yeah.

No, like they were eating me up and like they like I was not safe on the internet for a week, Like they they had shooters like ready to fucking go the.

National Guard, your count they were at your like little post buttons standing around.

I still think death hookses are hilarious.

No, it is funny, but.

Like like I gave you all permission to just start death hookses.

It's like.

It is funny because it's just like, bro, like what do you.

Mean he died?

Like also, I love a memorial like compilation of Drim.

That's all I think about, jumping. Yeah, that's all I think about is like my photos, Like they're gonna like people who don't know who I am, and they're gonna be like, oh wait, that kid died. That's so sad. They go to my Instagram and it's just those photos, like literally, what do I look like? Does anybody actually know what I look like? Like it's actually crazy.

But I have never thought about that, Like the day people have to just like look you and be like, oh I've seen a video of him. Oh the selfie playing guy, the.

Plain selfie guy died. Oh fuck, I have to liquidate my elfie coin, my dollar sign elfie coin.

That's genius? Is that not a lot smartest?

I've been saying it for the last ten minutes, and I'm saying to you know, it's like.

It's good, but it's as good as like emoji restaurant.

It's good.

Do you know about the restaurant?

Yeah?

Have I talked about it on this Leslie Emoji restaurant such a follower.

Like you reintroduced the same ideas under like a different umbrella.

You know, it's fucked up? Is last night or the night before, me and Josh were talking about just like how nice it would be to have like a second you to like go and like be social and then I can just sit in my bed and rod on TikTok all day and like I have a second person taking care of like my job, my social relationships and all that shit, which like that's why I need the personal AI think you've been telling me about kai Oh yeah, yeah, But I was like, damn, Like that's such a good

Did I do the same thing. I'll be like, no one's ever done this before, And I take a picture of its ascent to somebody, and then my phone takes that photo and goes through my whole iPhone. It shows me on every application something similar to what I'm doing currently.

I mean consciousness. Uh, and ideas are a cosmic bubble that you can reach into and connect to, but all of the ideas everyone else in the world can reach into. And so once you have an idea out there, do it, take hold of it.

Wow?

Thank you? Are you okay?

Bro?

No, everything in my life is bad.

No, I'm right here.

I'm right here on my birthday.

You literally are like hello.

Also, if you ask somebody whose birthday is coming up what they're doing for their birthday, like, what are you gonna do?

Like, what are we gonna do?

Suck my fucking ticking balls from the back while I'm bent over after running eight miles, like, literally, are you dumb as fuck?

What do you mean?

What are we gonna do?

Who's wee? Bitch? Like leave me the fuck alone? And that sounds so mean because a lot of my close friends have asked me that, and I'm down for that. But like the stranglers who like or nothing, it's just the killers, the stragglers who I'm not that close to, who will just text me this week and be like, what are we.

Doing for you?

Driving your friends that text you what you're doing for your birthday? As stragglers is run crazy?

No, no, you know what I mean.

Like the people who I'm like, I see every now and then, but I just so happened to fall into conversation with and then they're like, oh my god, it's your birthday soon. What are you going to do? Like do you have plans? Like, what's the plan? What's the plan?

Bitch?

If you want a free fucking meal, tell me you want to take me on a day and I'll pay, I'll literally pay.

Yeah.

But yeah.

But also it's just because I'm the kind of person who, again, I want attention, but I refuse to demand it. And I just wish everyone kind of knew it was my birthday and could read my mind and just do something for me, because like, I don't want to decide, and.

I just can never tell if you want to do something for your.

Birthday because if anybody does anything that is exactly what I want, I don't know what I want.

Whatever. The opposite of sapio sexual is, that's what I am? What the fuck does that mean some a sapio sexual as someone like attracted to intelligence?

What I am?

Yeah, kaids of sapio sexual, I'm the opposite of that.

Timbo Yeah, membosexual? Oh, bembo sexual, Yeah, bembo sexual.

Do you just like want somebody who's dumb as brick?

I just want control?

Oh okay, I mean I'm glad you couldn't recognize that.

No, I really do think stupid people that aren't Republicans are cool.

No, I genuinely I feel like we talk about that all the time. It's people who are just living on like kind of a disconnected realm, are kind of lit.

Everything is bad, No, everything.

Is good, and everything is embarrassing.

I don't know, guys, I really woke up on the right side of the bed today and it only took me three tries because I've been trying to wake up since nine am and I didn't get out of my bed until eleven and four.

I woke up at six thirty in the morning and was like up an at onm like I know, was pissing me off. I was like, I normally just wake up hella early, like automatically, but six thirty the sun wasn't even fucking up yet, and I was so pissed and I could not go back to sleep.

I just love sleeping, and it's really bad.

I did fall back asleep. This is what I wanted to talk about. I did fall back asleep at like nine thirty and woke up at like ten fifteen or something like that. Tell me why I had the most like horrible dreams ever that I was just perpetually overdosing and accidentally taking handfuls of xanax thinking they were men's I'm not kidding, Like literally it happened three times, and I was like, oh, here we go again, like gotta get fucking narcand or whatever.

Oh my god.

Yeah, I know. It was horrible, and like I in real life, I could feel my mouth like open.

So I hate that you did that face because I just thought of the TikTok, like how customers look at me one like you just looked like when you had that one filter on, Like this.

Is really.

You.

I don't like that anymore. It's kind of really gross. It's nasty. Well shit, mm hmm.

You can't do that. You can't look at me and make that face. If this was any other working environment, that would not be appropriate. He stuck his tongue out and like wagoned it at me.

Such a perv for sexualizing.

That, sexualizing the most sexual thing that you can do with it to someone so gross.

I know, I hate that you and Josie do it. It's so disgusting, Like it is really nasty, it's vile.

It's like, why is it so gross.

That I don't know?

Oh but I did. I guess I did do that a lady. I remember, wait, I think we cut it out honestly, Like this is my secret.

To share, This is the one I would have shared for.

This lady made me so mad at in road rage because I had the right away and she was being a fucking bitch. It was this older, fucking white lady. She had been like sixty three and I had the right away and I wasn't moving fast enough for her liking, so her car was like her face was right here out my window because she was trying to get into a spot. I don't even remember the setting. All I

She literally was.

It's okay because in her head, I'm straight as a bone, So it's not even like a crash.

She deserved it. But what is the problem is it?

Like what just nasty?

Like why is that the one so shocked? Because I have a friend who works as a pilot and he had like a co pilot, like do that face at like the people like doing that that ship out front, like the traffic director didn't got in trouble and got fired for doing that. My friend was like he was like it was such a chill guy and I don't know where the fuck it came from, and it was so nasty, like it really scared me and he lost his job.

It is it is really fucking crazy, Like I.

Think it's I think it's hilarious.

Did it? I felt fucking insane and.

I like it was wait can you do it? But like hide it? No, just please, no, I need to see.

It's unlike you and like it's funny to you because you're not about it, like you know what I mean, Like it's not but if I did, if I did that, even on camera, even like.

I munchbox, I munchbox. Hello, Yeah, I'm obsessed with Margaret Qually.

What about sad to do with it? She's a married woman.

Yeah, to a fucking freak bitch that I can overpower.

Oh well you heard it here first.

Margaret come here, queen, come queen out with me. Margaret. Also her name being Margaret.

I always pronounced it Margot quality by accident.

Margot Quality, yeah, Margot Quality. And Margaret Robbie.

What's her name?

Margaret Quality, Yeah, Margot Quality. That's yeah, I know that's what I was.

Just I was like, wait, so I have been saying it.

Right, Margaret Robbie, Margaret Robbie.

Is that her new name?

Margaret Robbie? Please saw what I thought? That was easy to puzzle together?

Wait, like, who is that?

Is that the Barbie girl?

Yeah?

Okay, Well too many people have like similar names and like I don't know, like in my head, I don't know the difference between Like I just found out the difference between Martin Shore and Steve Martino.

Different people are Steve Martin. Steve Martin's like the white hair.

Yeah, who's who was the dad in all the movies? And then Martin Shore is just that little guy.

That's just a different, different guy.

Yeah, his last name being and he being little, that's cute.

I feel like it was probably chosen. His name is probably like Martin Smith or some normal shit, and you're not allowed to have the same name as other people in Hollywood for some reason.

Will Smith, Oh my fucking god, y'all did you all see No Will Smith got slapped by Chris Rock or Chris Rock got slapped by Will Smith this weekend at the Oscars?

Really?

Yeah, no, it's it hasn't happened.

It's going to happen.

It's going to happen. Do you know it's gonna happen? That just doesn't seem like like that would be so crazy.

It's going to happen.

Chris Rock got slapt oh bitch. Also, this is actually crazy.

Did you know Taylor Swift was dating that one football player? She's dating a football player. Really, she's seriously dating a football player. Actually, yeah, I don't know. Kelsey isn't his first Travis?

Oh, his brother is fine. Ship. I want him so bad. He's like my ship. Yeah, I want him so bad. I want him and David Harbor Eiffel Tower me. But this is what I was gonna say, the real ship. I actually cannot believe this. But a new Tike drop that makes you allergic to meet if you buy, if.

It took care. We need to end this episode.

For reason you need it because you you're sitting here talking about wanting to be Eiffel Tower.

I can't believe you just said that. I wasn't. I can't believe you said that on National.

Look, I have I have AI pictures.

This is low key, just national news for fucking bored people like this is national news.

Hold on, I got AI pictures of Travis Kelcey and Travis Kelcey and David Harbor. Sweaty, just sweaty.

Yes, I'm sorry, guys, I have to do.

I have this picture.

Who is that?

That's not real?

Is real?

That looks like it was a generated by you to create.

This ideal for you.

Yeah, okay, that I don't get.

That's like how the Strong Guy and Popeye the cartoon was like drawn, that's what your ideal build is.

Let me see, this isn't the AI one, This is just my roster. Hold on, wait, I have to find the AI one. It's somewhere.

You're so annoying.

Whoa, that's pretty crazy. Oh it's the cop from Stranger Things. Yeah, I was I was trying to picture who that was.

Well, I guess that's been the episode.

Guys, quick little forty five minute episodes for y'all.

Listen.

Times are looking dark, but together.

We make light.

Yeah, times are looking scary, but together we make happy Harry Bush.

Together we make Bush. All right, Well, thank you guys for watching.

But here's my fucking media.

Oh, Andrew, I've been watching Succession.

I'm halfway through season two.

I just picked it up again last night after the chaos that was the past two weeks and I'm loving it.

I love it.

I love it, I love it. I love it.

TikTok is vape, Instagram reels is cigarettes. Yeah, the thirty minutes I had to use Instagram reels was the worst, literally the worst time of my fucking life.

Personally. I was off my phone and I felt free in that moment.

I was free.

Also, the Voodoo company I ordered my voodoo doll or my voodoo candles from UH went out of business and they were in business for like three hundred years. Awesome, dark sighted.

Mine is elevator spaghetti by Georgiana. It is what it is, by blood or father fake, You're George Michael, Heartbreaker, Mariah Carey walk with in Line Fleetwood Mac, I Feel for You acoustic demo Prince.

Oh wow. So that thing got uploaded to Twitter and someone said, why does he move so gay? Right? I don't get the context. Can anyone give me the context? Dick head on a plane, dickhead.

Gods tell of bunny dudes.

Talking about uneven eyebrows, like their balls don't look like this little oh big oh the infinity symbol or like the little one.

Because the right is always shorter h just fucking disgusting.

Bro Usa more like USB Okay boy, turn that Clara off and grab you a beer. So real, you motherfuckers. Would hang out with a squirrel if it had a cart and listen to Blade.

Honestly, I would vibe down with that.

I would hang out with the squirrel. They should make a soup that fixes everything.

Also, I should clarify I would vibe with that squirrel if he had the cart. We'd have to I'd have.

To sneakily change the music.

I can't lie because that kind of shit is gonna make me see a scary person in the corner. Wade music sounds like me and my homegirl's getting high and it's like, yeah, I see that person in the corner too, girl, don't be too scared.

Like Lake submitted one, we need letterbox for Drew phil Lips's YouTube videos so I can write reviews and rate them. That's true. We do need that someone make.

That up, butterbox for YouTube videos.

No for Drew's YouTube videos, just for your just for mine.

You can just like make like a leak tree and like a random.

Me finding out that instead of cool and mysterious me finding out that the vibe I give off isn't cool and fuck me finding out this is just wrote wrong. Let me see me finding the one wine Wine. Who the fuck is Coco?

Oh?

Yeah, I didn't get that thing at that, y'all. Coco is the new like right right, Like if someone does you dirty or like you genuinely don't know someone, just say who the fuck is Coco? Me finding out that instead of mysterious and cool, people think I'm autistic in lesbian, it's toupid. That was from Lake Armstrong one on one one one. The fuck you mean you're tworking on the low? What the fuck you mean he's tworking on the low?

Oh?

Is that? Like?

Why when you all break up with somebody, the weirdest ship comes out? Like, what do you mean he's t working on the line?

Okay, and let me do my media. I've been listening to uh eric as a Roth. I really like this song Terraria. I've been listening to I Am a Monster, which is cool as fuck. Pervert by Ethel Caine. I don't know if y'all have listened yet, but it's so sick, It's so sick. And then Silver by ag Cook No.

Mm hmm, my media. I was just gonna say, Mimi's.

Always gonna say, bitch, don't fucking shush me.

Okay, okay.

The moldy peaches, Oh, it's good and it makes me feel like everything's okay.

I would I don't want to do my

Sh