All right, Well, I am literally just gonna go I forgot my fuck an my day awesome. I love that.
Well, we were supposed to start like hours ago, but Drew is still in his fucking room. He's just sitting in his room. And I told him for the past two weeks, I was like, hey, we're not gonna be dropping an episode on Halloween.
Have your costume? Have your costume? And he kept being like, I have it, I have it, I have it. Didn't tell me what his costume was not once.
And He's just sitting in his fucking room and I'm just sitting here waiting for him to come out so we can start the episode.
But I guess it's just gonna be me on this episode because he's oh, what is this? Oh what is that? What? What do you have in there?
Oh?
You're You're just gonna stay hard the whole episode.
Oh my god, Harry's side love.
It's me excited to have you here.
It's the Forum right now. You don't know one of the ten shows you no? Oh, I like that that You're humble. Well, welcome to this episode of I guess I'm just gonna sit here with this the whole time, just because I feel like it, like, you know, it does the job.
Are you not talking that fucking accent the whole NOI, And I bet you're wondering.
Okay, what is that little pink thing in that microphone that's just sticking up?
Wow?
Yeah, very special guest, Very special guest.
She's loved, She's loved amongst all she girl she brings.
Oh my god, me and Joker broke up. Oh. You know what's awesome is because it's soomed and you can barely your asks.
Crazy. I saw earl. I was a compliment, but it was like, I don't know, literally looks really good.
Now your post breakup with Joker glows, snap, broke up.
These are the three besties who are like, we need a reality.
We need a podcast, We need to be Harry Styles and Harley Quinn. Guess who Charlie Quinn Charlie poof good Night Pudding.
Well all right, well let's the end of there. We decided to have Josiah back because he's a hit. Oh do not turn that ahead, and so we can look you in your eyes.
It took a while to get this, to get this. The ensemb.
The ensemble, the shoes, the shoe.
Queen a new generation. I don't know by.
S okay, So Josie has been here for days on end and he's still saying he's got a couple more days in him.
Yeah.
But we do this thing where we have like a squad sleepover, which I feel like we've talked about before, but we have sleepovers where the whole squad gets together.
And while we were watching our like usual well like YouTube.
Are usual programming? Yeah, are usual, regular scheduled programming. I'm talking to the back of your wick.
And it looks awful, like I need to take a victor.
You look gorgeous, though, I will say.
You like I saw myself in the mirror and I was like, whoa, I look unrecognizable, Like, okay, I.
Malash right there, Like the back of your head is ridiculous, ma'am.
Wow.
Also, this is like a real axe because I.
Was so against it, but I was like, no, you need an axe for the outfit. You have to get an axe. And I was like, axes come dulled and I was lying, and he fully.
Lied to my fucking face.
It was like axes come fully dull, and I believed him. But basically I was just the videos we were waking and you had something on your ear, like it's literally like a fucking big spec.
No, that's just dust because he hasn't showered in four days. I showered this morning, and I use your towel, you know. Yeah, you let.
Him use your nice tower.
Yeah, I know. I was so surprised. I was like your shirt once, I was like, are you sure you want me to use it?
And I know you rubbed that hole.
Oh no I did not.
Yeah, you you better the whole air dry.
M hmm, wait what hole? Which hole?
Your hole? What other hole?
No?
I usually no, I'll use the towel, or I'll use a blow dryer.
Oh yeah, you spread and spray.
No, actually, usually it like grosses me the funk out to use towels, so I usually use like, I'll just grab toilet paper.
But you should be washing your ass well enough that the towel going on your fucking butt doesn't matter.
Even after a shower, no matter your ass, no matter how you're done, no matter how long I wash it, it's still to me. I'm like, no, it's gonna have to be toilet paper, because I'm about to I could end up using out my face, like I don't. I can't do it. That's why there's three towels in the set. It I don't use. I have one towel sets. I don't have sets of things.
Yeah, I don't use a separate face towel.
Like in my head, like my germophobia stops at me, like anything I touch and like mess with, like is.
Clean like your part. I don't know why I said that, Like I literally wipe my ass with my towel and then wipe my face.
You also, like have not been using your towels? Do you use your towels.
The new ones you met that I just keep them go for babes, and then everybody gets like.
The most uncomfortable. I'm it's I'm in a very uncomfortable My legs are shaking.
I'm so comfortable, Like look at my legs right now because my shoes off, they're not in frame, because then it's not.
Gonna feel right. That's that's why I've been wearing them for like I've been wearing these heels for like.
Josie has been five hours for the past four.
Because and also, let me tell you, isn't it crazy?
I could literally murder both of you? Okay, but what were you going to say?
No, I was gonna say heels hurt pretty, hunger hurts, Hannah want him? No, no, no, you.
Know, the needs to make an edit of Harley to that.
Someone needs to make a Fiona Apple McDonald's meal and it's two big Max, two large cokes, two large fries and you know why because hunger hurts. Mmmm, mic drop bit you ate like McDonald's.
What the fuck are you saying?
Like, you know when people are like, oh, Sishu ate, like Josiah ate like McDonald's.
What does that mean?
It's just me being very classist.
Explaining your joke. In the joke, it's like, Oh, I'm just like I hate poor people. That's like kind of the like nobody in the Yeah.
I'll just give you guys a thumbnail.
You probably blocked both of us, so that's not the thumbnail.
But okay, should we just get into this episode.
Let's really start.
My legs are crazy. Yesterday I asked Enya and Josiah to write down some spooky, oooky stories for child, but I don't have any bitches wrote them down.
I know.
I was thinking about it today. I was like, Oh, what's a scary story but I think I've.
Told them all and then like other ones that are started like traumatizing, scary.
Yeah, the only one I know, yeah, was and I read it to you, and you like, I don't know, did you register me reading? I said, okay, stinky dog food story. Yeah, I know what. I was like, it's got to be something. No, it's nothing. I came up with it. I don't. I don't know have any spooky stories like, okay, well I'll give you one and then y'all kind a really good one and then maybe it'll jog my memory. Okay, so I have two really good ones or three kind of four? Oh, I got a
bunch of guys. Yeah, yeah, you know. I had a very terrifying childhood. So should I start out with me seeing three people die in a week as like a ten, eleven, twelve year old? I can't remember what age I was. The home invasion story from back home, the cat killer or us getting swatted.
The home invasion is the best one.
The cat killer. So it's a long story, and I'll try to be as brief as possible so y'all can get some fucking words in because I don't want to consume this entire episode. But like back in Texas, my like neighborhood was like an up and coming neighborhood. So like the lot next door to mine was like completely empty. It was like woods forever. I feel like I've told this story before on the podcast.
I don't think so, because when you mentioned saying it, I was like.
Is scar like that or what?
Hmm?
Look at that cut that scar? Doesn't that look it's like purple? Okay, So my neighborhood, the lot next door to my home was empty for so long because it was like an impossible lot to build on. No one wanted to like take the feet on because it was like a lot of dirt moving and that's really fucking expensive apparently. But like eventually, like after living in the house for like ten or twelve years, they decided to,
like someone some family decided to build on it. So there was like a construction lot next door to my house for like years because there's a really big project. And I remember like playing in their like wooden house and shi it was really cute. But my like, with a construction site so close to your home, there's all your My parents obviously got close to some of like the construction workers on the site because like.
They would like they see them every day.
Yeah, they see them every day. My dad would like bring them meals and stuff every once in a while and like bring them water or whatever. But uh so my dad basically met everybody on the lot, same with my mom. And then one day this random guy that my dad and mom never.
An instruction site and nobody know who you knew, who you were?
Whoa girl? I don't know? I really don't know, Like that was the definition of I'm in the middle of his story and someone just said something, let me come up with something quick, bitch. Yeah. So okay, So this random ass dude came over to my house and was like really really frantic, and he was like, I don't know what to do, Like the helicopter just came. Like someone chopped off their arm with a buzz saw in the backyard, Like I don't know what the fuck to do.
I'm freaking out, Like can you help me? Like I'm freaking out, Like someone cut their arm off with a buzz saw in the backyard. And my dad was like, one, who who are you too? My wife was home all day. She would have fucking heard a helicopter land. Where the fuck is gonna a helicopter gonna land. You've seen my house, Like a helicopter's not gonna land anywhere around there. But my dad was like, Okay, I mean, I guess you
can like hang out here for a little bit. And then like my dad like brought him a beer because he was really frantic and freaking the fuck out, and he just chilled in the backyard whatever. They like hung out for a little bit, no problem, no problems. Then my dad just kind of believed it and was like okay, whatever. And then like every once in a while, this dude, since it was like a very long project, this dude would come to like our house every once in a
while to just like hang out in. My dad and him became like really close, and like it was like my parents were so comfortable around him that like me and my sister would like go swimming with him in our pool and like we would hang out with him, like we met him, like we were really friendly with him. He was really friendly with us. It was like he
was like a really nice guy. I remember. It was like really just like a chill situation all around, and like some time passes like the relationship developed a little bit more and like whatever, like uh, like we invite him over for dinner and shit, and it's just like it's a nice person to have around, like when he's like working all day, like we let him come over like hang out, like yeah, just like have dinner with our family. And then he randomly like disappears, like like
in thin air, like he stops coming around. We have no idea where the fuck he went, like for weeks and weeks and weeks, and my dad was like, where the fuck did this guy go? Like did he get fired or what? And like he's gotten close to our family, so we were like, oh, Like my dad was like, oh, let me go as like the construction yard if they know like where Bob White went, because he went by the name Bob White and they went over, which.
Is also like false name number one just wait.
It gets it. Where he got the name is fucking crazy. But basically he my dad went over and was like, yo, where's like Bob White? Like uh, he was like really friendly. I'm just curious. I'm just wondering if he's okay, like kind of miss him around here. He's like a nice person ever around and they were like a Bob White, Like,
who the fuck is that. We've never met up Bob White in our entire life, like, let alone working on our fucking like our site, our site, Like yeah, of course, Like no, we don't know where the fuck he went. My dad was like, huh, that's weird. I wonder if like they just forgot about him or something. But like it was a small crew, very weird first encounter whatever, whatever.
Whatever.
Well then uh, like a couple of weeks past and like my parents are just like noticing like weird things around the house, like like we'll go like they'll get home from I'm getting like full body chills, Like we'll get home from like work, and like or my dad will get home from work, like it's really late at night, and like the refrigerator in the garage will be like wide open, and my dad like would yell at me and my sister for like getting sodas and not opening
or shutting the refrigerator, and like just like random cabinets in our house would be wide open in the middle of the night, Like random cabinets in our garage would be open in the middle of the night. Like just weird shit like that. Yeah, and like my dad would yell at me and mount and be like Yo, what
the fuck, Like why is all this shit happening? And then it like escalated and like shit in our kitchen would be open, and like it's just like weird little things like that, like things like out of place, like put into different places, and my dad was just like kind of freaked out, but like also didn't think about it much because he thought it was us like whatever.
And then like there would be like weird like I don't know, just like just shits out there just like yeah, and then like I don't know how to trends just in this into the climates for the story without like giving it all away, So I'm just gonna like kind of go all in and like word vomit. But like basically like my dad is asleep one night, or goes to sleep one night, here's some sounds. Doesn't think anything of it, like outside, because he had like a door
connecting to the backyard. Yeah, and he like, here's some sounds out there. He thought like maybe it was some animals, but like we're in like a suburban neighborhood, like we don't get like big ass animals. And he was like it was like a big sound. My mom heard it too, she was like, what the fuck was that? Like that was a big fucking sound. Whatever. My dad and mom go to sleep that night, and they wake up the next morning like nothing happened, Like they're just like going
about their day like whatever. And then like my dad normally is like getting ready for work by now, but he's like feeling really sick and under the weather, like he's not feeling really well, so he like decides to stay home, and my mom like every morning, goes into her bathroom and like takes a bath, and me and Madeline had like already been like dropped off at school, so we're like out of the house. My dad stays
home from work. He's already normally gone by now, and they're just like enjoying their morning as they normally would like with my dad home from work. And my dad literally, in like my entire life, I have never seen him miss a day of work. I've never seen him sleep in once for a day of work. I've never seen a miss a day of work. Just like a very very rare like thing to happen. And my dad like just chugged some ni quill and like tries to go
back to sleep because he's like sick. He like doesn't feel very well.
He actually was the first person with COVID.
Yeah exactly, Yeah, yeah, it was really Yeah, use station zero. There's nothing that because this was when you were a kid. That's what we're saying.
Yeah, like he got it and like cured himself, and like everybody else just.
Like didn't know nothing. And that's why vaccines aren't real.
I'm sorry, no, wait, two things. It's the peanut fact.
Oh, no, work the peanut for me.
It's enough from the peanut factory. What did you say about the.
Vaccine that they're very real and very potent. Everybody should get one.
Oh they're potent. Wait why did I get the potent?
Okay, get keep going. So my dad's like knocked the fuck out in bed. My mom is in the bathtub and she gets like a call from a friend on her cell phone and she's like, yo, like, uh, there's like this random man like standing outside of your bathroom window like looking in and it was like our one of our friends. And my mom was like what the fuck? And she like opens the window and she looks out and she doesn't see anybody. And she's like, no, there's
not like whatever. And then she's like, oh, I could have sworn I saw someone when I passed by. I must say, must have been like a tree stump or something. And my Mom's like okay, yeah, like whatever, Like she didn't think anything of it. She just thought her friend
was just like looking out for her. Yeah. And then like my mom continued taking her bath and my dad fully asleep, like this random fucking man, Bob White, at this point, had entered our garage, grabbed a beer, chugged a beer, grabbed another one, chugged another one, and grabbed a third beer, and walked all the way through our house.
It's the craziest fucking thing. He walked all the way through our house, and my mom had like a curtain to the bathroom, and this man was just watching my mom bathe for like god knows how long, and God knows what he was gonna do to my mom. And my dad rose out of bed and was like, Bob, what the fuck are you doing in my house? Like why are you watching my mom bathe? And like I get like full body shows. It's like the most terrifying thing.
And then he just sprinted out of the house, and my parents like called the cops and like, basically this man had like such a gnarly record. He had like child abuse charges, he had like our word charges, sexual assault charges, and he had been in and out of jail his entire life. And like you can look at this shit, just like.
Lie, yeah, that is so scared.
You went to jail. You know how you got the fucking garage code to get into our house One of the days he just looked over my dad's shoulder and like got the code to the garage And that's how he was able to get into our house and steal little things and like.
And that's why you shouldn't trust anybody or make new fucking friends, because everybody's fucking.
Even more creepy when you remember that, Like he was swimming with my sister and I and like yeah, and my sister was like in her bathing suit. It's just so fucking weird. And the craziest part is his name, Bob White, is a street like three or four blocks away from our house that like he just made up on the way to our house and.
Like, bitch damn, Like he is really white.
Yeah, he's really working on the Bob Street and White Street and it's a crossroad. He was like, Bob White is crazy.
Okay, those street names.
Maybe he deserved it for living that close to the street, because oh I live off Bob and White.
I told that story so terribly, but like whatever, like it was fifteen years ago, insane.
I don't have anything like that. One time a man who was on the run was in our backyard.
He's still in prison, by the way, my parents I went to prison. Yeah, he's still in prison. He would be called literally free Bob White yep. And he called our house like every single time he could get like a like a prison call. He called us every single time.
And like, I shouldn't be allowed.
He didn't know. It's crazy. It was fucking crazy, right.
He just had them and they like at least.
At least you guys gave him some beer and a good time, and you know, probably gave him story, a story. He was probably going to murder my mother.
I mean, okay, but maybe not he did.
We don't know. If my dad wasn't home, he could have murdered my mother. You maybe your mom should like I was at school, Oh at school?
Yeah, how old were you?
It was like seven.
Yeah, you should have been busy being the man of the household, going.
To be so sick. Why aren't you home?
Aren't you garden the bathroom door?
Yeah, and taking into a pig for yourself, because that's what I would do.
Oh what the fuck? You are actually like messed up in the head. And I don't know if it's this whole costume that's got you feeling like a very sexual energy. Yeah weird. She's been touching my back with the axe.
Well that's because I could feel that your body is radiating like a radioactive.
Dude about to start getting like yeah, because it's like a transparent Also like loudest fucking jacket of the year. Like imagine going to a movie theater. Why would you I had one of these press play tour and yet do you remember my trench coat? Choice? Choices were made, Choices were made.
Yeah, My only scary story involves somebody who that I still fear and like you know what I'm talking.
That's the thing.
All my stories I can't tell because it's like people and my family and where I'm like, if they found out about this, they might kill me.
Yeah, Like it's like all stories that I'm like, oh, so you like scare me and I feel like you would, like actually you're.
Still keeping up. I've told you about the death predictions, right yeah from my unc I can't my unk. He like predicted like several deaths in my family, like like day of like.
We need a proud of us.
We tried, I talk about he's not joking.
Well, that's good that there was nothing.
He's spiritual.
Well, I like just saying that I'm going to die before I leave the house, because then if I do, it's like you with like it's like, oh my god, you should before And every time I walk out of the house, I convince myself that I'm gonna die and.
I'm like, damn, you're asking for death.
That I'm actually I am.
Asking for death when I do that. Oh my god, Hey don't here next time I come on. We need to get a better setup because I like can't have a conversation with you guys because I have.
To like maybe you should just turn and show them in the back.
Because that's the thing I'm not turn into show the back of my fucking wig.
Well, one day we'll have a big studio where we can see your beautiful little face.
If you guys get a big studio. Yeah, no, one's gonna watch anything. There was this girl name, what was her name? It was Ruth. She would she would draw on my back during that during like I think it was like pre algebra or something. It was like eighth grade, and she would draw my back and be like can you tell.
What it is?
And I was like like get the fuck away from me.
Okay, I'm sorry, but that is like so like weird, Like no, it's so advanced for like somebody to.
Be doing that. Like I'm like, okay, I'm taking notes like a chair.
She literally like no, it was so and so you got into a fist fight with her. No, but she did. She hit a kid with her car like two years later and left my friend Emily to like clean up. The message was like I don't know what to do and just drove away and Emily was like, not Emily, the one all know it's no differently and Emily was like, what the fuck am I supposed to do here? Like the kid was like I think the kid was bleeding. I don't know, just admitted to like a crime, didn't I wasn't there.
Well, in seventh grade, the guy had a crush on ran into a parked car when he was playing football, And then every time we would get into an argument in our fight, like in our relationship, I'd.
Be like, Oh, I'm the dumb one, but you ran into a fucking part of car. You dumb on the planet. Who's ever gotten hit by a parked car? Damn?
I was in seventh grade and that was your boy toy. Yeah, and y'all have fights of.
Course, because he wanted to like do s with me, and I was like, literally in seventh grade, what the fuck is happening?
Like it was a mess.
Yeah, that's scary stories I think I've told, like the girl who did bloody Mary and then ran away and then me getting like scared of me.
Fucking I was going to.
Die, dud. Yeah, I can't talk about stuff. You really can't talk about it. I really can. What I know, I really cannot talk about stuff I can't talk about like like everything from like family is like let me tell you something though, hold on here, let's talk about this. Yeah, here I go. Did I tell you guys about the person impersonating my mother on TikTok? Dude? This is gonna like recently.
Yes, like spike them up. They're gonna be like I'm gonna keep going.
Oh I don't care, okay, but keep so going. They basically they were just like following my sister's friends and shit and like commenting on my stuff, commenting on my sister's stuff, being like so proud of you, son, and I was like, you are crazy. And it was like me, my mom and my sister in my bedroom and my sister Grace was like, Mom, why are you following Carly like Grace's friend. She's like, why did you just follow her? And my mom was like I didn't, Like, what the
fuck are you talking about? And I knew immediately because this person's been like posting stuff being like I know his last name and I know like his like where his and in the bio of the account it was like where my mom works, like her name, and I was like, that is too far, too much.
I remember one child far and I really hope this doesn't like make anybody think that this is okay to go and do.
I would like to think people know this is not okay. But one time somebody found my birth mother's information and like.
That's crazy.
That has to do with the scary story though, but that kind of behavior when I see them, I'm like.
Okay, especially now because I'm like okay, Like I will never see her again, so like keep that in mind.
And I went on live. I went on live because I didn't want to because to DM someone on TikTok you got to follow them, and I didn't want to follow this person. So I went on live because I knew they'd come and I was and I was screaming. I wasn't screaming. I was pissed.
Such a bad relation of privacy.
But it really is, especially with me too, because it's like if my mom is like a common character my videos, Like if someone did that about Pam, it wouldn't be as it's still be weird, but like people know who Pam is, you know, like it's a common character and like YouTube videis and shit. But my family is like completely private. Yeah, Like everything other than like the ship I post on my page is private.
I mean I think.
That's why like all of us have made steps to like making our life like more private, because it's just like the people like can't have no boundary. I know, Well, how did I like bring up my mom when we were watching Acts just now.
Uh, you said that the song Landslide reminded you of her?
Oh yeah?
And then uh, Josh and Lucas laughed. I was like, oh, it's funny because I'm never gonna see her again and I don't even remember what her voice sounds like.
It's really like actually fucked up for me. Yeah, that's funny.
And then I said that song reminds me of your.
Mom too, And why did you say that?
Because that anger?
Oh my god, dude, this house has been a nightmare for the past four days. It's literally just been the whole crew like rotting away playing Fortnite.
We are going to play Fortnite jo because I have not played for to get.
Oh when you're dumb.
Take a while.
Yeah, it took a while. Ye, it's gonna be late. Can you go do it right now? Like how bad would it? Know? We gotta keep going. But like Fortnite podcast, Fortnite podcast Fortnight but like h piggybacking off of like your y'all's last stories about like your parents being impersonated by freaks on the internet. Me, I don't think I've ever told this because like it still scares the fuck out of me to this day. Like it's still.
Literally where most of my serious stories I can't say because I'm like I'm still fearful.
It's not like I'm fearful of.
Even though not saying it won't stop it from happening.
Yeah, I'm not fearful of like a particular person or entity. I'm just like fearful of this event happening again because it's a very common occurrence with like people like in our position. But like me and my sister would like go live like before like YouTube, yeah, like on you now, me and my twin sister, we would go live like all the fucking time. She went live every day for like an entire year straight, and she was like one.
Of the first people get a job or something.
Yeah, that was her job. But like she would like she would even do like twenty four hour live streams, like before she did twenty four hours. She would do that. She did them several literally, I didn't like, uh, she just like had a really big following on there, and like I would just kind of do it as well, and like it was just a fun thing for us
when we were bored as fuck after school. It was just like go live on you now, and like my sister was like doing like a celebration pod or celebration live stream for like hitting like a certain amount of followers or something. So she was like live, like blowing up fireworks, like baking cakes like whatever, just like random like kids ship like whatever because we were really young, say fireworks.
Yeah, she was not adding production.
I'm ms set a firework off in the house. Yeah, I know. She We would we went out front and we would like blow out cakes and ship in this life. She was really fun to live, but she uh was like it was like getting to the end of her broadcast and like one of the people that like watched her very regularly, like was kind of like not chill.
I don't know. Just like they they had like rapport and like a friendship and a relationship, but like they definitely like overstepped boundary sometimes and like it was just like they felt like way too like comfortable with my sister. I guess is what it was like. It was like a very early parasocial relationship because she was like live every day. They felt like they were friends with each other whatever. But my sister was live and like all of a sudden, like we get like a pizza delivered
to our door and we're like, oh, that's weird. We didn't order a pizza, Like that's weird as fuck, Like okay, but we'll take it. We'll pay for it. Y'all made the pizza, you delivered it. We feel bad, like yeah, we'll take the pizza. And then another pizza gets delivered to the door and like we're like, okay, this is weird, but we'll pay for this pizza, like not the biggest deal in the world. And then like an order comes in with like two pizzas and then we're like, okay,
we'll pay for these pizzas as well. But like damn, like we called Dominos and we're like, yo, stop delivering us pizza.
Somebody is hungry.
Yeah. Literally they were probably like damn bitch, like why are you pizza? But uh, we called dominance and were like, don't deliver us anymore pizzas. And then Papa John's delivers us like eight pizzas and we're like I'm sorry, like you cannot pay for this, like just like don't deliver us pizzas. So we like have like we go through and call all of the pizza restaurants in our town and just tell them like, look, someone got our address or trolling us like they're delivering us pizzas. We don't
want pizzas. It was silent for like maybe two hours, maybe an hour, and then all of a sudden, like we see like a bunch of fucking police cars racing down the street and slamming on their brakes out front of our house. Three fire trucks, which is like all of our cities fire trucks and all of our volunteer exactly, and all of the police officers, all of the police officers in our town, and like just like so many fucking like like first responders, like three ambulances. It was
like the craziest thing in the world. And we're like, what the fuck is going on? And then we realized, oh my fucking god, we just got swatted. And all of a sudden, we hear like banging on our front door, and like, uh, I forget what they had told the police. But they said like someone was a ratic and there was a they like called like several times saying someone was a ratic and gonna endanger themselves and their family.
Someone is like dying actively and uh they said there's an electrical fire in our house and like they basically swatted us on live stream, and like I answered the door because I was like, what the fuck is going on? And Mada one was online and she really didn't know what was happening. And I was like, they were like, is everybody okay inside? And I was like, yeah, like we're fine. What's going on? They were like someone said like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
And I was like, no, we're like just getting We're just eating pizza and on live and we were like, oh my fucking god, like someone swatted us.
So we were like, okay, that is such just like insane behavior and also it's so dangerous.
It's so dangerous also having to explain that to like a small ass town. Also, like six years ago before, like swatting was even really like a thing.
Yeah, like do you think that others was like a protocol like that, like a lot of like people go through like oh.
But that, dude, that just sucks because then what if you like actually needed that.
I actually doubt there is a protocol. I bet they respond. I feel like in La, they know yeah in La and California. It's probably like, oh, if someone says like someone swatted me, they'd be like, oh, okay, yeah, I don't know, but very spooky stuff, right, guys.
That's never happened to me. I like.
Me telling that story with a boner. Yeah, you you don't.
Have a boner. You have to have something tucked into you. Are you packing like that? I didn't know you're packing.
Heat, babe.
Maybe your bulls looks so good today.
No, one, it's pretty sweat in season. It's pretty hard to get damn bitch, I fucking sting. It's pretty hard to find my address. I keep catching you looking at my bullets. Both of y'all look, both of y'all look up and down.
Well, you pointed it out, and you're being a you looking at it too.
If I literally like I'm talking to a joke and it actually like cut.
Your oh, I'm talking to you.
Oh. You know a scary story in seventh grade when I was talking to my crush, some one of his friends thought it would be funny to pant hi while I was talking to him, and then they accidentally pulled his boxers down. And that was the first time I saw wiener and that was terrifying, And when I saw it, I like we made eye contact and we never spoke again.
And then I don't want to clap you up. It was sad for him. That's probably his scary story.
That's probably Josh and humiliated. Josh said that to me right in front of KaiA was standing at the couch like doing a dance ki and they're like fucking with him. And then Josh came up my moment and you.
Were asking for it though?
How was I being a slut? I was doing the Great Sweatpants Challenge for like a year straight and no one I said you every time. I was like, Jo, sorry, your whole cock is out in those sweatpants, and you just just you just decided to axurprise every single time we were telling you.
And I won't call out our other friends who did that, but one time when I went to Big Sir with one of the friends in the group, I literally called it out so crazy because I was like, dude.
You're not wearing underwear like I don't want to see.
Okay, yeah, I figured, oh yeah yeah. But also he's just like literally hun, like that's the thing. I'm sorry.
I was just like.
Dude, chill, like know, and it just he was like on the car, like dancing like on top of my car in front of all of us.
And I was like, I know, I'm not like, come on, get down.
Get that down down.
Well, yeah, I do that with my big fucking pussy.
I just like wear tiny shorts.
I'm like, you're packing some fucking heat down there too, I know.
It.
I'm confused as to what the society's standard is for the puss. Do people want a small one or a big one? Because obviously with the guys it's pretty straightforward. But is it like do people want like a big fat, like here's my fucking, like you know, juicy puss, or do they want like what are you say, tiny pussy?
Oh you thought about the last? He thought about the latter.
No, But I really am confused as to what the society is like pressuring.
Trust me, girl, I would like to know too, Like I it's like unclean. I am ashamed of my big fat, fucking watermelon sugar couchie like I have like.
Wait, Harry Styles reference Drew, I want to quezer nipples.
So I know I was that's what I was looking. I was taking a unip. I was like, dude, it's literally like I.
Was against sexualizing my body, not sexualizing.
You would look really good with tattoos.
Though, Yeah, you would should get tattoos. I'm never getting tattoos. I have one. Why would I put a bumper sticker on a Bentley? With the way I came up with this earlier today.
I was, okay.
Howie Mandela effect. Okay, I was in the car when you came up with that, and I stayed completely. It's like when Howie Mandel developed all.
Timers literally can silence a room.
It's when Howie Mandel develops Alzheimer's Alzheimer's Alzheimer's, yeah and all time, I can't remember anything and he's like that TI Alzheimer's, or the Howie Mandela effect.
When you said the bumper sticker out of Bentley, I almost made fun of the one tattoo you have, and then I silence over great, but like not because I.
Think it's the one I got for my dead brother, the one I got for my dad brother. You're gonna make fun of that tattoo. I'm the one you should be scared of. Oh I can't not you, not him, not miss the jay Me because I'm Harley fucking Quinn.
Yeah, dude, this trio pulls up to your Halloween party.
Kick him out.
Yeah, get rid of them.
Kick him out or kill them, honestly either way. Okay, this fact that I fact check today because there's no way that's fucking really you find it on Uber Facts. No, TikTok TikTok. Yeah, same fucking thing. Okay, Taylor Swift and Amy Winehouse we're both nominated for Best Artists of the Year in the same fucking year. Is that not fucking mind bending? That blew min two thousand and eight. Yeah, that makes no sense.
I know what you're saying, because the other day I was watching something about like Amy Winehouse, and in my head she passed like way before she actually.
She passed in twenty eleven, I know.
But like in my head she passed like ways like earlier because like my like my gauge of that.
Time, So, like, I know what you mean. I feel like she died in two thousand and eight. Yeah, Like, and I feel like she was an artist for like ten years.
Yeah, it feels like she was like around for like a really long time, but she was like really like.
She put her first time out in two and one. I think done two.
Yeah, she was like fright now, oh but same, But it's funny that that's the case. But then with Michael Jackson, I'm like, yeah, he died in like twenty ten, like I know that, Like, but that's also I know that because my whole fucking I was at summer camp and I was sat down to watch TV.
He acted like it was like a literal terrist be queen like it.
It was literally like, turn on the TV, look what's happening.
I mean, I guess it was that deep, like he was like literally pretty bad guy like.
He would have been. He would have been torrending.
I never been with a bed, yeah if yeah, if he okay, oh, Twitter was around. Twitter was around, and he was not trending because a lot of people knew who he was. Do you know?
Yes, I did, everybody, like literally everybody, not everybody who doesn't know people.
And there's other.
Countries you can wake off of your head.
Don't because it's so please don't because it's carefully placed.
Yeah, I know, because I worked on it.
Yeah, I know.
Make up by.
Styling, waiting, tattoos by Drew though. Yeah, we know we can tell tattoo by Drew, you should open a tattoo shop tattooed by.
No, he should not. What do you say?
I could? You should? I feel like i'd be good at tattooing. You would be good.
I think I could be too.
But that's because like nothing and everything, we're doing nothing. It never really works your sticks because you have really debilitating eighty h.
Itself because now you're just like, it's not a very accusatory of me, swag.
If you die with your Diva cup in, they.
Got to take it out, they got to take it out, and you know what's fucked up. You know what's fucked up because I'm not alive. They don't have to do this the pinchment method to pull it out.
They could just pop that stuck around and suction cut my uterus out of my body.
It it doesn't matter that.
Right now you're in your rag.
No, I might be pregnant.
Are you joking? Noyes? I better die on hard so I'm showing print in the casket.
With silicone.
I had a pregnancy scare.
You had a pregnancy scare? Harley Quinn did no?
Oh? Josiah did yeah?
Oh you thought you were pregnant. Yeah, I like, I like. The idea that you even have sex really like freaks me out, and.
I, well, I do and I have a ton of it. I'm so sure I do.
Like you know, I then show us pictures, show us fucking videos.
If you do, show you video. No, that sounds like you're just trying to convince me to show you videos of me having sex.
It sounds like you're scared to prove that you don't have sex.
I don't need to prove anything. I think my swag and my confid and my confid saying you have sex in this outfit is like really crazy. It really is crazy. Y'all just need to ask your mom.
Oh but back to that, but wait, what my mom is dead.
My mom died.
Broar, are you and Josie fucking.
No? She doesn't just say yes, she says she gives us a long time sence, and it's like, yes, his wiener is so good. But yeah, I still feel like as a society we are not right. Like, although that there is talks of like big Kouchi being like desirable aesthetically, I don't think it's considered desirable because.
Anytime I wear jeans.
Where I am showing cameltal, I see everybody, take a take a peek down, a quick look at what's happening.
Including yours, your fat vagina, and you called it fat, Like.
Do you hear yourself when you speaks vagina?
Become myself? God? Can I get a diet penisis?
Who started diet pena?
Oh?
And to drinking the fucking red bull, Drew drank.
The read Oh yeah, if you know about that and listen to this as well. Okay, you know I did.
Okay, that's scary story.
That is my scary story, because there's a five minute long video of me sleeping that I found on my fucking phone, Drew, And right now is the time. If you did it, admit it right now, right would not look at me in the ice, look at me in the ice. On God, I did not do it. On fucking everything. I did not. I did not take that fucking video of you. We'll insert a clip of it.
It's you fucking recording it. Your eyes open up halfway through right now, because I don't actually want to talk about it, because it's actually gonna get me really really frustrated, because I feel crazy. I feel insane.
Well, you're getting into character love.
Oh I just had a big fart.
Yeah you far, I did.
It's gonna my part climbing up that jacket right now. I can't see it fogging up the bag.
Recently, I've been loud and then I'll be like, yeah far. It is like like, oh, the other night for squad night, I let out a fucking loud one and everybody was talking.
I was like, fucking I was so high.
I was like, I'm gonna have to admit to that, but nobody heard it, so I got away with my two.
Starting at the beginning of a new relationship is such a u thrill and such a thrill such.
Agree I learned. Okay, I know you're talking about I'm large. During my first like situationship, I will never hide shitting and farting or like feel embarrassed about it ever again. And since then, literally everybody I dated I never was like poop shy or pea shy. I've never been pea shy literally, but I've never post.
That, never been poop shy.
Because the first time I was seeing someone, we were at an airbnb and I didn't ship for three days and was just in chronic bloated pain because I refused to ship because it was a small Airbnb and the room was right here, And then I should have ship because the bathroom smelled like one big condom latex fiesta, and I should have just shipped to cover some of that smell.
Are you guys having sex?
Like?
Why do I miss that?
Like?
Why do I miss the smell of like so many condoms in a in a bathroom?
Trush can I don't know why you missed that. You. I think that's something you got to figure out on your own. But I personally have never been poop shy. I tell, oh, I'm gonna go ship. I'm gonna go tell but you are not a woman. But but the thing is, I haven't bart shy. I'm like, you're not a girl.
I was.
I was at the beginning of like of a at the beginning of a relationship, I'm like, I don't want to far in front of you, like, hold on a second, but I'll let it out secretly and.
Then I guess, yeah, the first few times, I'm not about to let out like I have to.
Do every relationship I've been, every relationship i've been, and I just like have never really cared. I just every what relationship I've been in.
You didn't know that holding hands was desirable until three weeks ago.
Did I tell you about that? Did I tell you about that?
Drew?
It doesn't feel right coming from me, right for coming from you? Yeah? No, we hold hands all the time. It feels fine.
Yeah, but like Drew doesn't understand and like does it or I don't know.
If he does. Now that's crazy that okay.
Okay, But Drew didn't understand and was asking me why couples hold hands.
But that's actually crazy because I was gonna say, it's.
So like the stars, not you're getting messages from the stars are because when I said, you're not a girl bitch, that's just something that's just something.
Okay, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. But I love to hold hands. And it's just it's like a like it's like come here, you know, not like aggressive like that. It's just like it's like literally just when I'm walking next to any of my friends, I'm just like grab my fucking hand now, like just grab it.
Yeah, but imagine that with someone who you were like, oh you were like, yeah, have you ever been Oh.
Yeah, yeah you have. You've had your heart like actually destroyed and.
Crushed shattered right back up and they have not come down.
And it was good for you need that.
Yeah yeah, I needed to be humbled. I think you need a good heart humble. And the good thing is is that we all have like traumatic heartbreaks at a very young age and learned a lot of lessons because I look at like old motherfuckers like our parents and ship and I'm.
Like, whoa, Like you are going on and.
You are still in that And I'm like, also, they don't have they didn't have iPhones, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Or they didn't have grinder. I don't they didn't have zoloft in therapy. Is so for me, it's so good.
Yeah, I like couldn't see myself like but I don't to yourself, I know you're free.
I was gonna say, oh, like I would never like withstand like let somebody treat me a certain kind of way again, but like yes the fuck I would like, yes the fuck.
I would like, No, I wouldn't run me over, Oh but I would.
I would. I would. I couldn't. I really couldn't, because like I'm very different I think in friendships, but like in a relationship, I would let someone actually kill me before I said something. Yeah, I mean even now, like I don't think I'm very confrontational, just like internalized things. And then yeah, I don't even think, like I don't think I have like the brain capacity to even like
give certain things like more than a second thought. I'm just like, oh, that was just like whatever that came from, like whatever, but like like what happened to me today, like should have pissed me off because that was fucking weird, weirdo behavior. But I was just like, I actually don't give a fuck.
I'm very easily like I dude, I am so I am very like over analyzing, Like I'll make a joke to a friend and then sit back and be like, ah.
Fuck, like I don't think I should have said that to them.
But I've started to burst that off because then when I like overpick and I'm like, oh, was that like natchill, and it makes it more awkward because it's like I literally couldn't give a fuck.
The thing is, that's what like Zoloft literally changed my life with that because I was the worst, like I would never think everything everything and I would literally be like, this person hates me, so I'm gonna not talk to them for weeks, like because I would just be like
horrified and I literally cannot be sitting like this. And then when I started soft, but instead of like instead of those interests of thoughts being like lasting for fucking like days, they would be like five minutes, ten minutes, and they just be like, oh, that's not reality. Like Zoloft helps with my anxiety so much, y'all are jealous.
I'm not because I was born like very much normal and.
I think I'll get off of it soon ish though, because like I feel really good and like I just am not in a place like this dark place that I needed to be. I mean that I where I needed to be. I needed to be in that dark place to be where I am.
You know what I will say is I like, literally I don't think with age I will stop missing being so fucking sad.
You like being sad in the moment.
I don't like it in the moment, but like I love, like I love for my exercising, my heartbreaks.
Like literally do not play.
And when you brought that up, I was like, I'm about to go off like I can feel.
It so fine, Like when I'm driving around and like listening to Florence, I'm.
Like, but give me a reason to be said about something and I will and I will run a mile.
I will sulk. But I've been really good about not like just like leaning into it too much.
But like.
I did know that this became the mental health podcast since last time I've been on here kill Yourself. Oh yeah, yeah, so much project and your life And what was I saying to you, Charlier?
I was going to say that for the podcast, oh that you were so like debilitatingly sad earlier.
Oh I had I have had such an awful like off day to day, Like it's like really hard to describe, but I just woke up like I think it's I think it's called like a a sorry go ahead and it's a h something. It's just like basically like where like everything, like you just don't feel pleasure from anything you like typically do. Like when I was reading my book that I was bought in, come on for at session, come on, give me right, give me right, okay, but I was just like pleasuring each other.
I would pleasure you if you needed it.
Sorry, truth, Thank you babe, you're the one interrupting. We were happy, but no, I was just like describing, like, dude, like I'm having I don't know how to I don't even know what I was gonna say, but basically, I'm just having such an awful fucking day to day where like for hours, I'll just be like I hate everything, I hate everyone, I don't want to exist, Like I had to drag myself into the fucking gym, Like I didn't even do this song at the gym because I
was just like in such a bad mood. Yeah, that's that's when you know it's bad when Drew doesn't do this. And I was just like, actually, I was just like, dude, I need to get the fuck out of here and go lay in my bed and rot. And then I tried reading and I was like just boasting about that fucking book and I was like I was like, dude, like this book is so fucking good. I'm loving it. And then I like sat down to read and I
was like this is bringing me no joy. And then the past couple day is like every song I had listened to like has been actually making me like physically like emotional and reactive, like in a good way where I'm like, dude, I haven't liked music and so long I've like been listening to music and actually enjoying it. And then the day I just like turned on the music and I was like, hopefully this brings me out of it, and I just like could not stomach. I
was just like, fuck this music. So then that was when I was trying to make that new playlist. I was like, I just I need to make any playlist, like it's just like one of my things is like when I'm freaking the fuck out, I make a playlist to listen to to like chill me out, and I just I've had such just like bad day, but like I'm kind of out of it now. But I when I dropped that goddamn my bulb, it sent me right
back in Oh. I was like I am. Even when when we were in the car at Lows and we were driving around, I was like, I think he's gonna do it today. I almost did. I know.
When I came home, you seemed so sad.
But you know what I did see that's the fear of being friends with you guys, and honestly, everyone we know, I mean not everyone, we know, but like everyone here, I'm like, when's like sometimes I just think I'm like today it could be the day.
You know what.
No, I know it's grim, but like no, but it takes one off day.
Remember when I was really bad?
Oh my god, missus, I was mad. I was mad in the moment. I like I knew, like you were fucked up. But like looking back, like mayaan naive, like boy brain like really did not.
See like the e eighteen of like like twenty was going like the beginning of twenty nineteen.
That was when I first met and I was like, yeah, I know.
When we were hanging out, it was so like I don't think I like was like showing it, but like genuinely, like it is insane to think what I like did with my life at that time.
Like I didn't like relaxation, No, I know, I actually fully did did.
Like I would be awake for like four to six hours in a day and like those hours were just to go get a coffee and eat and go write the funk back to crazy.
But you were skinny my, Like my darkness period was so bad and you guys didn't see me at all for like like five months, six months yeah, we saw you like twice in five and I was completely off social media too. I wasn't using it at all. I really was considering going to real estate school and just quitting everything because I was like, I can't I can't
stomach this. I literally can't do it. But then I don't know, something just just something so random, and it was like God, you know, it was like God had like put his finger.
In hasmile on me.
God has put his finger on me, and was.
Like you he put that finger on you.
I heard you guys doing that like last I and I was like they were so fucking annoying, like you Josh and Lucas, like.
Oh, because I was going like this, I was doing some dumb ship. I was like, like it was like it was also I I've been going to bed super I'm entering my year and wrestler. The Chips, That's what I was gonna talk about. Motherfucker. Every single time I've gone to talk about that, You've been like, d you heard about my chip story for later, you butt in right before I'm gonna fucking set talk about the chips.
But I'm literally in my rest and relaxation arc, like I've been going to bed at like nine or ten, Like I'm past my bedtime. I'm like forcing myself to stay awake, and like I've been waking up at like seven am, and I have to do it again tomorrow and I'm gonna freak the fuck out. But I I'm in a movie, y'all. I'm acting in a movie.
No, you were like freaking the fuck out.
Why am I white passing?
Oh wait, no, I think you might just be white.
I'm Greek.
You're white, but you're passing the bar of expectations. I'm an ally, okay, a gay aliens Okay.
We have been huge Frankie Grande contact connoisseurs for the past five years.
It's been our secret little like go to thing where like we don't bring it to the internet ever because it's like our little thing. Are you coming up on five years of friendship or I was?
For us?
It's four? Oh no way.
And like mid twenty Yeah, we'll be five years and we haven't gotten anything done and neither of us.
Are you saying that I've had very fulfilling moments in my Look at where we're keep it in the kitchen, babe.
Yeah, you fucking idiot, bitch.
I just mean, I mean, yeah, it was like twenty two, I'll be a millionaire.
Oh well that's what you get for.
You did not just heart I did. Let's just okay, you didn't get to the chips by the way, Okay, I was. I went to bed really really early last night and like I fell asleep with my lights on and everything and like whatever. Like it was. It was a vibe. It was nice, and I was just, oh, but Josiah buck that salsa.
Josiah brought pineapple salsa from Turner Droves to our house over a week ago, talked about it for three days straight.
It was like, oh my god, it's it's literally the best salsa ever. Then we all got high as fuck.
You were sitting in the not me, not me, not me, I do.
So so Josie was like, oh, it's the perfect time.
Like I went out and I bought chips for the salta because I was like, damn, maybe I have some of that salta.
Most mid ship I've ever had in my fucking Like.
It literally tastes like if a baby had a bunch of snacks and then ate a fucking tomato and threw up.
Wow. That like, you you know what, mother, you didn't even try it? No, I didn't, Yeah exactly, Yeah, you know what that tastes. I know that, I know that taste. I want to go get it. So basically, Josiah like woke me up in the middle of the fucking night eating Chip's loudest fun outside my door. Like he wasn't even trying to wake me up. He was just macking on these fucking chips so hard.
It was your Chipotle today, bitch. Came home hungry ass fuck there was there was rice flat everywhere.
I never make a mess. And I eat, and I like, I ate and went and laid down and I ba got and I was like, I was hungry. Is because me and Drew like we're talking about going to get food for maybe like three hours. Yea, let's go get food. And we were like, let's get something healthy, and I was like, Andrew said shake Shack and I was like maybe Subway And then we were like, oh, maybe Chipotle. Really jealous.
Health food quis the idea of health food is literally a scam.
The reason scam. The only bad ingredient in these foods that we're eating technically is palm oil. Because it's destroying the earth. I'm about to become an eco terrorist.
The reason I'm saying all of this is going right into a lands.
The reason why I was eating those chips outside your door was because I was really, really really I got way too high on accident, which I don't smoke very often. I mean, I guess I have a little bit been a little bit more lately, but like I don't smoke very often. But I got way too high and I needed something to eat. So I brought this old pizza box full of chips. I emptied some chips out into.
It that you were eating when you did that, no idea you were.
Eating like McDonald's, okay. And I put pineapple sauce in there as well, And I brought it to Josh's room. And because he's a fucking freak about his like rug and his couch and he's like, okay.
He's not a freaking his very nice and expensive.
I'm gonna say he is neurotic about it, but like it's warranted. Yeah, yeah, he does.
What it is just like why invests in something you step on?
But like I digress, Like it's basically I went in there and I was like yo, can I eat this chicken sauce in here? And he was like no, And we talked about it, deciding if I should for like fifteen minutes, and then I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna go right outside your door in the hallway and eat it. And they all had to watch me eat it, and I woke you up. I guess yeah, I'm feeling like like lacrum lachrymose. What the fuck is that? I don't know.
I would suck up a Lacroix right now.
We to talk about it after this, pampla moose. Yes, I need a second meal. I need to get big. I need to eat more so I can get fucking big, like I want to be like, oh, I'm going to be an or a bear?
You mean you're using a grinder like esque terms right now.
I want to be a manly man. That's what I want. Mask mask mask for mask mask fit gamer. Should I talk about how I saw three people die in a week.
I'm convinced that my ass has gotten bigger.
It's so fucking hot.
And I literally almost showed you my butt like I was gonna be like you would tell me, like I don't think my butt has gotten bigger.
But I do think going to so many pilates and yogats classes my.
Ass, Like me, I'm not kidding. I felt that today too, because I did leg days and I like looked in the mirror, like.
When you were sitting, I was like, you have an ass really yeah, Like it was like you were like sitting on an app.
There is there is radiating you. It's like it's really insane. How far how far in are we?
Oh?
We're fifteen minutes in?
Did your joke? Yeah, I'm going to talk about how I watched three people die in a week because I really want to tell that. How do I get started? I watched three people lie in a week?
Lie?
He said, die Judge, Judy, Judge, Judy jetson hood.
One time in publics, I was eating baby bottle pop and it triggered my Oh. The last time I had a bad eggs in a breakout was when I had fucking baby bottle pop.
Why do you say baby bottle pop and baby bottle pop?
Baby?
Why what it's called?
Why not baby bottle pop? You say baby bottle pop? Josiah called me out from my weird like annunciation ship. He notices everything, like I'm a singer. Oh okay, whoa language expert? Okay? Sorry? What the fuck was I saying? Go ahead? What was I saying?
Yeah, you saw three people die in a week?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh I think you you might have because you told the baseball one of the baseball game one.
Yeah.
I haven't told the basketball game one though, that was in the same week. Have I told you that one?
I don't think so.
I was so in my like small ass town. There's like intermural basketball leagues, which is just like a basketball league for like people who aren't actually good at basketball. They just want to be healthy and like not be sedentary.
I'm so embarrassing. Imagine like running around playing basket.
It's not that good at Imagine doing it for fun. How awful would that be? Right?
Jesus, girls, look at me, look at me.
Why don't you I swear to God, And now you're going to be mean, and now you're gonna be that fund up for him to call you out like I did not agree with that. Take it off.
Look at me. You're nothing, and you're a loser.
M hm, you're a fucking loser. But intermal basketball game and I was like, however old I fucking was. I don't know how old I was, Damn like pressing you all, they are asking so many goddamn questions all the fucking time, and I want to ask one question. Whatever, Okay, now you're gaslighting me. But whatever. I was at this basketball game and they were like warming up for the game. It was like it was like a tournament, so like
a bunch of people. They were like a bunch of games acted back and back, and I was with my babysitter at the time, who was also with me when I saw the person at the baseball game die a few days later, and I was like kind of dolo because there were no kids there because it was like a bunch of like twenty early twenty year olds, twenty something year olds, so I was like basically the only kid there, and uh, I was just kind of like loitering around, like hanging out, like watching them warm up,
just like being like they were all so fucking big. I remember, like they were all really tall, and I was like, damn, like, y'all are some tall motherfuckers.
But in the day, I saw something about a video about that about how like your perception of like older people when you're younger is just like so skewed because literally of your age, Like when you were a freshman, you saw seniors and you were like.
They look like a dude.
I know.
Now I see like seniors in high school, I'm like, you are a child.
What you are a fucking poser, baby child, loser, loser. You're a loser. You should go and get your driver's license or something.
If you're a senior in college or in high school right now, grow up, bitch.
Don't say that to them. A prom.
But I was watching these giants like do layups and I was underneath a goal and this guy was on the opposing team that I was rooting for, and like he was the tallest person on the field. He was probably like six or five or six seven, Like he was a really he was a tall fucker, a big fucker, and like he was like completely normal, like there, it didn't seem like anything was off with him. It was like completely like just like normal drills, running drills over
and over again. And then one time when he went up for a he literally in mid air right in front of me, had a fucking brain aneurysm. His brain exploded and his head. I literally remember it so viscerally. His head kicked back and he fell face first right in front of me, at my fucking feet, like like full force, like after jumping like six feet in the air, and like everybody was like, oh, my fucking god, like what just happened? Did he trip? Did he trip? And
he like they rolled him over. He was already dead, like you die instantly, and he died at my fucking feet, and like I remember all the adults in the room like being like grab his tongue, don't let him swallow his tongue, like just grab his tongue, like, don't let him swallow his tongue, like over and over again. And this went on for like seven minutes, and he was literally his head was at my feet like the entire time.
And then my babysitter saw me and was like, get the fuck out of here, like go to the car, and I got, like ushered to the car. And that's the only time I've ever heard him cuss in my entire life was when he was telling me to go to the car, your dad, no, my babysitter. I got to the car and listened to a Millie by Little Wayne over and over and over again so many times that I still to this day remember every single lyric
to that song. And I was in that car listening to that song for literally three hours probably, And then I got home and they sat me down, my babysitters and they were like, we told your parents, Like my sister was in the other room because she was she stayed home. And they were like, do you know what death is? And I was like yeah, and they just like kind of gave me like this talk about death and like did they have to tell you that? They too? Yeah, I was you. Yeah, I was like really terrified. I
was like, oh my god, you can. You can die at any moment. It was so fucking sky. Yeah, I'm gonna lie to I'm gonna lie down all of them. Yeah, I'm gonna lie the fuck to my kids, and I'll probably kill them. I need a good one. I need a good person to raise them with me, because like like someone who's a little more like okay, let's get to like reality.
I find a normal person to have kids.
Like nobody who's like a normal person who like goose the goose like me, Yeah, like any day and could you.
Imagine us having a child together, like, actually, I'm sorry, dude, you're.
Like thirty something. You will be like super lit. But the way you react to frustration now, I'm like, oh, you would like no, I would. You would literally be like the kid who's like my dad, like like I don't know how he feels.
Yeah, no, it would be so bad.
We gotta we gotta get those feelings out.
Will you be my surrogate? Probably not, thinks babes if I could. No, No, you don't have to carry the baby. You just got to give me an egg.
I would give you an egg.
You would Yeah, I would give you an egg.
Her baby's gonna have a wide fucking her egg.
It's gonna be who wants her egg? Damn.
I think our baby would be cute, though, we would have.
A cute baby. Are both very cute people, and we're not I'm not cute, you're cute. I'm like, you're cute, You're cute. Don't let them. You're a cute sexy, don't let.
Yeah, we would have a cute kid.
And then in the same week I saw him, You and a Ryan's.
Kid would be tall and sleigh.
Yeah, we would have No one wants to have a kid. With me.
Oh well, no, bitch, why.
You don't fuck with blondies, you freak bitches. If you have blonde hair, you're a fucking monster.
You're gorgeous. No, I was lying, you were gorgeouses.
I am not kidding. I think if we had a child, that would be very cute, because you have a nice, slim face. I have a fucking giant, massive, gorgeous technically, like, I.
Feel like i've seen like now people being like, when you're thinking of having kids, it shouldn't be about the way they're gonna look.
I'm sorry, but I don't want to.
I will not have an ugly baby. I don't want to. I don't want to baby because also, like that's just gonna make their life harder.
And I need my baby to have the easiest life.
Like I need my child to be just like gorgeous and Instagram is tapped into your fucking mind. Maybe will be Instagram famous and I will give my baby an Instagram at the age of three months.
I'm not joking. Part of the reason why I'm working so hard in my twenties is so I can have a very good life for my children when I'm.
Yeah, literally, but isn't it crazy how that's like animal instinct Because I used to be like fuck having kids, I don't give a fuck about having a kid and having like them whatever. But now I fully am kicked charge into like, dude, I have to like bust my ass not only for like my family that I have now, but so I can like build my own family.
And then I was sick the other day.
I was like, dude, I need to have a bunch of kids and like have a big family because I got lucky since I have so many siblings.
Like my uh like kids will have a lot of cousins.
But I was like, damn, because there are small ass families, Like there are families that when they get together, it's literally like ten of them.
I'm like, bitch, just my like immediate family alone in a room is like seven.
My immediate family in a room, Yeah, it's like eight or nine. It is because I am. I was seven and then my brother died and so now it's so you should just replace him. My mom was seven wild kids because my dad was one of the kids. Her name on Instagram. So I'm gonna have two kids. I'm not having to lie now. She's a lying slag. Oh my god, did you tell her to change it?
Yeah?
I said change the six wild Kids because one of them Wild Kids went to hell. Oh Drew, Yeah, that was dark. That was really bad.
That I should get cut.
But I wonder if you can hear me biting the fun out of my mind. I really don't. I'm just like I had to go in. Does anyone else think global warming is a good thing? I love lady by the way, Oh my god, we should order Taco Bell. Tac Bell. Yeah, say that publicly work. That is actually fucked up. You support them?
We know where I stand.
Cool?
Cool, okay, just so okay, okay, this is like so I'm gonna sounds stupid saying this on the podcast, but like the.
You know, you're not like gay, like the global warming thing though, like I love Lady Gaga, like, but like, can we give up this whole global No? No, no, Well you don't want to hear about nine to eleven.
That was so good, Josiah, like the tone you did it so well.
M dude, Mimi is I will never I'll never give up on her. And it's the same thing with DEMI I like there, I just I will go hard for them to complain. I want you and you only for the rest of my Why are you crying? You and you only? Oh my god, what he said? He's gay? Ye, and you're surprised. Oh oh, And now we have to cut that.
And now we have to let your truth live, your truth live if you're if your truth was a plant, I would water it because I wanted to grow.
I literally, dude, I've been so like, this is the quietest y'all have probably heard me in I feel because no literally, because like I'm sitting here, but also because I have talked about so much ship on the thing with lou because and now I'm literally like, what the fuck do I talk about?
Job?
Yeah, yeah, it's not so easy.
And Lucas have a podcast, probably sexy the Emergency Intercom Networks. I tried to buy y'all's podcast so bad, but you ignored every offer I gave you. Well, we don't need it right now, we don't need money. Yeah, but like, let me get in at the own so.
We could make a lot of money off of you and you become profits because this.
Is the only time you're getting.
Promotion from me, because no one else will want you.
We have a podcast coming. You know, I can't say the name because it's like, I don't know, it's a very big it's a really big part of the podcast, and uh god, I want to say the name is so bad. It's me and Lucas. You know, when are we going to free the rectum? Free the rectum?
What are you all talking about?
Oh, we've asked this question, but I don't think we've asked Josie, what do you think is more explicit showing your butthole or your wiener?
Uh, your wiener, Your butthole can be perceived as funny to a lot of people.
Yeah.
See, that's exactly how your butthole is so vulnerable.
Because okay vulnerable, you're wiener flaccid. When I say you're wiener, I think about it.
Like on like hard. No, No, it's definitely the butthole to a large group of people is a lot less suggestive. It's just so funny, like, but the wiener everyone.
Is suggesting to spread whole is a lot.
My whole is like naturally, oh.
At the fucking steep Wait what because you don't have an ass?
No, No, I just I got it pinned a few years.
Oh, I just remembered a girl at the steamer room. Because everybody knows that. I like, where'd your hat go? Where's your hat?
Where's your mama at?
My mom died?
Oh no, that's what I'm asking. Where's your mama at? You're always asking about my fucking hat. Where's your mam at? She's dead? Okay, now open playing field today to just joke about Anya's mother passing away. Yeah, because there's a time in a place. Because she asked about where my fucking hat is? That hat off? I took the hat off because my head hurt and it itched.
That is just not like, that's just not very like parable.
On.
Oh my god, my god. Last thing before we go, I was in the steam room. Everybody knows, like I've said it before at the.
Are you okay? He knows that.
At the steam room, I spread whole.
Like I don't give a fuck, But she really doesn't tell.
Me why somebody in the fucking steam room, bitch.
I fucking oh my god, I almost said something. I just see her pull out a minute and I'm like, I know she's not about to.
Do what I think she's about to do.
She started fucking exfoliating dead skin off of herself right next to me in the steam off her whole body like literally started at our feet and started going up her legs and I was like, m.
No.
I literally laughed so hard out loud, and I was like, no, I have to go some nighties.
I got up in last someone in the sauna last time I was in there, like had a towel over his head, and like he was. I was sat on the top row because I like sitting on the top because it's way more hot and I like can be
in and out quicker. But he rises, yeah, exactly, and he was sitting up there with me, and then he put his back on the wall so his feet were facing towards me, and his feet like touched my ear, and like I like kind of just moved my arm really quick because I was like, here, gross ass, feet
do not need to be touching me. And then we both just started dying laughing, and I think we were laughing at the same thing, but I couldn't tell we were laughing at the same thing or if he was laughing at me, And it made me really fucking insulate he.
Was probably also laughing at like he was probably laughing at it all in general because like you.
Moving so fucking quick.
Yeah, it was really crazy.
Also, like I've realized like little noises really do fucking piss me off, and like it's like a deep thing like for me.
And that's it. Because this girl in my pilates class.
Had I fucking hate a sniffle bitch below your nose get away.
Because she was literally the whole work.
Some people can't help it, nya well.
Fucking stay home bitch and fix.
Its fucking chair fell off. It's the worst when you can't tell people are laughing with you or at you. When I went to this festival, I told you about this festival, right, this festival I went to, I fucking like, there is this group of girls. I was like waiting for the people I went with in the bathroom. I was waiting outside the bathroom and they literally like looked at me as they were passing by, pointed out and said no way and then laughed and walking feels so
you do that like that. So I was just standing there alone and I was wearing like I hope we can insert a picture like huge baggy pants, huge like baggy T shirt that Louis vuiton glasses and like a snap, like a huge snap back, and I was like, that's kind of that festival I got, Like I was like going up to people I got. I got several d MS after going to that festival, being like, hey, I saw you at the Pestoval yesterday, but like I didn't want to go up because like I really thought you
were rolling. I was dead sober for anyone who was there, Like I was just like so like I got my glass alarm. I was like screaming at people like behind their backs, and like just like, oh it was it was bad. I kept breaking off from my group. I got lost a few times.
You got lost in translation?
Maybe oh I got lost in the sauce.
Maybe.
All right, Well, one one last thing, and it's a very quick thing. But why do moms love me? Oh? Moms love me? Insert the TikTok.
Oh of the mom being obsessed with you.
He's different. I love how she says he's different. You know, like, hold on, I need to watch it real quick. Did you know that in a relationship?
No?
Okay, where then is this? I don't know where I was going with that. Oh, and now you want to try and be weird with me? Yes, you did, and guess what ya see. I think Aliens sent us. Aliens sent us Nikolai Tesla to give us free energy, free renewable energy, and we killed him. Aliens did.
Read this.
Okay, you think he looks.
Are they really talking about you? They're talking about me. You're talking about Drew Gooden. I would have sex with Drew Gooden. I would have sex with your good He has a wife. Okay, Well that that has literally never stopped me once. Oh my god, I am a homewrecker, ned fulmer.
How about you try staying in your relationship.
Okay, why are you faulting? Why don't you go?
And you go?
And why don't you stop posting about your wife every once in a while. Pussy pitch loser, loser, loser, keep cheating, keep cheating, loser. I predicted that, by the way, he before the episode, before that, I was like, we need to bring cheating, say that I have cheaters. It's like so interesting to me. I'm like, someone cheated on me. I'm not kidding. I would ruin their fucking lives. I will kill their family. I would kill their pets, I would kill their animals. I would kill their parents.
Here's my game plan. Because I thought about it.
If somebody cheated on me, I would hang myself above their side of the bed so that they came Yeah, so they came back, and then they can no longer sleep in the cop or their home and.
They gotta move, and then they'll always have these images.
Tell them, yeah, tell them, tell them, and let's see you go and fuck there. Tell them you want to go on a vacation and be like, okay, I love you, and then have them pick you up the next day and you're dead in your bed and they come and they're like, damn, we're supposed to go on vacation.
That happened, and I can never go on vacation.
Okay, you can never go. Well, you'd be dead and you can never go on vacation. That really did happen to my mond. If I got cheated on, I would probably stay in the relationship. Let's be real here.
If I got cheated on, bitch, I would tell my dad. You would be your ass.
Honestly, is someone cheated on me, I would be like, damn, I'm underperforming, and then I'd kill their family and their day.
It's so much cheated on me. I'm not kidding. I would go out of my way actual sex with whoever they deemed important in their life, and I would destroy everything relationship.
That's the thing though, And you're angry. I wouldn't be able to kill someone's dog if I was dating them, because if I'm dating someone and they have a dog, I'm breaking up with them. People change guys, and you got to get people second chances, third chances and fourth chancers.
Come on, okay, media, Oh god, we watched Triangle Sadness, the best movie ever.
It was so fucking good.
It was fucking insane. By the time this comes out, I have seen Pearl. I started X today, but I started it too late. So you decided to tell the truth, and I yeah, because I'm a truther and I'm not a liar and.
You're a And if you follow my letterbox, you will see that it is true that I've watched.
These Do you letterox public?
Yeah?
People, I do not sixty I do not talk about it. I don't know, by the way, on on me. And because this podcast there's no media. Yeah, that's our thing. Everybody else do you want to hear my media?
Yeah?
That's the other thing is I know I keep going on weird tangents. But a lot of these bitches is our sons, and you are not fooling anybody. You can try to steal the chemistry.
And your mother, bitch, Yeah, you will never.
Be able to emulate what me and and you have. You will never have what we.
Have because we suck and we love and you don't have that with your with your except Josiah.
Well, they're not even trying to emulate us. They're doing their own thing because I know they're original, Like all these bitches are trying to do our ship sense. But who's the daddy.
The rest of my meeting media is Buppet by Foster Silvers, Girls Against God by Flors the Machine by Total.
Impossible by Figuring. I'm just gonna give you a bunch because you won't see us for two weeks.
I Need Your Love by Arthur Price, Natasha by Peter Thomas Sound Orchestra, and Halla by Mazzie Star. There was one more song, I'm So Sorry, Drew. There was one more song that I was really oh and Miracles by Alex g and.
Wow Okay, I Got Clumsy by oil x L. I Got three h two question Mark Want to Go by Yah Boujin Chalice of Mine by Yoab I can't ever say their fucking name. Yeah, Boujin, Cry Cry, Mazi Star, Local Forecast, Casino Versus Japan. Listen to that entire album. What is this album called? I can't remember it off the top of my head. The album Go Hawaii. That is a masterpiece of music. Water Level by Yawning Portal and a cover of fum Flim by af X twin but the cover is by Simon farn tsh I'm in
and garf Uncle you know are so funny. My media of the week, uh is a text that I just got from Lucas saying, Yo, that's my media of the week. No. Mine is a probably podcast Marilyn Monroe by Daniel Cohne.
Uh.
Actually, Daniel, you know that song?
No?
I don't? Yeah, four million fans and they all singing along. You know that song. I'll show you no my fucking show media don't because no, you need to watch it. Drew started it. I just rewatched fucking Russian Doll season two again. It's like, way fucking better than season one. I sobbed my eyes out and my song is probably I don't know. My song is probably four a m By.
Oh bitch, it's Norman fucking rock well By. It's Norman fucking not the album the song Norman Fucking rock Well by Lana del Rey and Uhlan Lana del Rey and also wait, we should all we should all go right now because you're just a man. It's just what you do. You're in your hands as you calling me because you're just to me.
You guys so much.
You in two weeks surprise, we're in Japan, you bitch. I don't know when the promo for me and Lucas's podcast will drop, but it'll drop in the next few days, I don't know.
Yeah, exciting. Maybe check these.
Last last fucking one. The last thing is I want to watch Flea Bag.
I saw Oh was it the slide show of that big conversation?
I saw something about breaking the fourth wall.
Oh, we are watching that tonight.
We're starting to recently about watching the breaking the fourth wall or something. Is that a big moment?
It's not the biggest moment, but it is like she did it, like what the hell like It's like kind of like that vibe. But no, that's not the biggest boiler.
Oh that Oh god, that show made me fucking sold.
Oh that show is so fucked up. That show really, like.
First season was gnarlier than any of second season for me. Yeah, of season and one, I was like, whoa. I knew it was coming all the time because it's pretty obvious.
Yeah, but I was like, dude, oh my god, that show is.
Like dead eyes Bridge. I think I have like emotion full eyes, yeah, emotion. I feel like I don't have like the micro movements other people have. I've been told that I have dog shelter eyes. What whoa, my god, I'm not. I'm not joking, like sheltered dog.
You are a little sad puppy.
Puppy is happy, though recently the puppy is so happy. All right, bye, everybody, We'll see I love you. Don't forget about us, Please don't forget about us. Please don't forget about it.
Really kill ourselves if you don't come back here in two weeks.
I'm not I'm not joking, and I'm being dead fucking serious when I say that. Oh my god.
Mm hmmm