Halloween spooktacular special

No anyr fond.

Oh all right now, henderstand what you're saying. You were hot. I don't even think she she can't sit.

Like I got it? Oh my ever then, and I'm.

Just now announcing Drew Phillips as r G B with wheels. I can't help you, I like can't.

I'm not even in frame.

My whole outfit isn't even friend.

My name is Drew Phillips and I'm Ruth Vader Ginsburg chair.

All right, all right now introducing the dog who wishes.

To vote.

Yourself. Let the dogs.

I want to vote.

I want to wear wigs, and I want to get an abortion. Peer let dog get abortion. Let the dogs pierce their ears.

This is actually me.

Let the dog swear wigs.

Did this?

This is the most insane you like ever.

Look, this is like horrible.

This was I mean, like for contact.

I am eight thousand degrees right now because not only are their lights shining on us, but this is insulation foam. And I literally the heat radiating from my body threw my neck hole into my face.

Can you see my face? Look how fucking sweaty I am?

Oh you are sweaty, And.

Yeah, I bet you wish you were out on a cold winter's night without that insulation, be real warm.

I bet you wish we would take you on a walk so you can pee anywhere but the floor of our house, and we're not going to clean it up.

I have been like peeing myself lately. I've also been hell hungry for like bone.

Can you use the fucking peepad? Like, what was the reason of getting that? You bagged? And bagged him bag?

I know he like literally he got our phones without our permission and ordered on Amazon like lifetime supply of peepads, but he keeps just peeing on the rugs.

I forgot to get into like pose. I just it's more comfortable to sit like this for me.

Because you're a dog.

What the dog doing?

What we do a Halloween episode?

I forget that like at the end of getting ready and doing all this, we have to actually do an episode of the podcast, and then my brain just feels like genuinely jarred and confused.

But I think a good topic to start on would.

Be wait, wait, wait, wait wait, Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom Halloween's Special three this I think this might be four no. This is three no, four no.

This is four.

Because I did the Devil the Devil.

Man made me do it Corella Harley Exorcist. And now this is the fourth one, the dog.

What was my second one?

The Devil Perl, the Devil Pearl, Dorothy and I'm Drew's chair.

Why do you keep laughing when you look like I'm like an insane asylum or something.

It's not an insane asylum.

Oh, thank you with Pater Ginsburg for everything that you did.

I know that out. Yeah, that shout her out for real.

That's why y'all need to vote.

That dog on the poster is probably also dead. It's probably an older photo.

No, I don't know, he's not dead, fuck it. I mean he's not reanimated. We found the wig hair and we reanimated him.

Like the fact that it has come to this point with this bullshit, Like, have y'all told a story about this.

No, we have it or did we say that like this stole out of the garbage?

Yeah, we just said we stole it from a fan accidentally.

So the fan who got it made a story time on how they got it, and they pulled that out.

Of the trash on their way to the show.

On the way to see us. They saw it and they thought we'd think it was funny. So that piece of garbage literally like it went from garbage to Josiah fully embodying that person.

Dude, because I when I saw it, like I'm not joking, something changed, Like it just made me so happy, like seeing them hold it up and I was like, grab that, please, grab that. We need to get that.

Josiah's profile looks so fucked up.

So scary.

Why is it beautiful?

What are you talking about?

Really nice?

I know I've been using very clear.

I'm getting this is objectively horrifying to look at it.

It's not bro.

When you walked and I got chills.

I would sleep with this period.

I would sleep with.

Uh ands into pup play. Yeah. I guess now that we now we know reality really.

The more you know, yeah, because you watch that movie.

Okay, I don't think I've talked about that on the podcast, but I did say that at a college show and I was so embarrassed because I was like, why did that just leave my mouth? No, I think I did say on the podcast one time. I was trying to find this one French.

Movie and the.

Director's name is literally fucking amal or some ship and I looked up fucking animal movie and.

I was now, we're on a list.

Aren't you.

No.

I was trying to download it for the plane, so it was like three am, which is really worse.

I was imagining you like typing and.

You need to reveal your out.

Oh yeah, guys, I have an outfit. I have a costume.

Kai is the scariest, the scary tip jar.

Pretty cool, right, I'm like a creative.

My name is Kay and I'm the tip jar.

Like you gotta put some fun and I'm the tip jar.

Oh did I even do?

That? Was one for you?

My name is just Sy and I I'm the dog.

Well, I think my next investment is going to be a realistic Mermaid tale because I've never confessed his on the podcast, But when I was a kid, I would get my ass on the family computer and I would look up mermaid tales for purchase.

Did you go through that, fizz? Did you want a Mermaid tail? Yeah?

No, why would I want that?

Look at what we swim?

Dog can swim?

Dogs not swim? We can dogs? Actually no dogs.

Dogs can swim.

Bro I cannot swim. I can tell you from experience. Bro, dogs can't fucking swim.

Okay, that is anecdotal evidence, Like you can't swim, I can't swim.

I am a dog.

Therefore dogs can't swim.

Josiah really does have that dog in him, though I do.

This collar is so fucking itchy, and like I think I'm mad or something.

Well the anti itch callar, so I shouldn't be doing that.

And if you leave this fucking room, it shocks you.

Yeah, we should have.

Got We should get Josie's shot caller.

Wait, we should get one and try it out next.

Aren't shot callers like, like, aren't they vibrators, Like they're just like vibrating.

No, they shock They.

Actually they have vibrating ones.

But yeah, I always thought shock collars were like fake, like a thing that like they say in movies.

No, no, they're real. I've tried one before. Actually no, I tried shock wire at my grandma's farm.

Fuck Kai's vay thing again.

No, it's the fog machine.

I opened his stinky fucking mouth, My.

Big stinky pussy opened up, and.

You can't the word.

Basically, I really want a mermaid Tale, but like at this point, I feel like I'm too old to get it?

Does that make sense?

Like at this point, if y'all caught me dead with a Mermaid tail like on my body, I would get ridiculed for it.

But when I was a kid, I wanted to know. I think it's so fucking bad.

They were like they were like people who would do in boxings and they would get it for Christmas and they would go into like their pool the shallow end and like flap their tails.

The sounds that things making, dude, I know, so distracting. I think you'd be surprised. I there are probably so many people watching that would love Mermaid content from you swimming in a fucking pool.

That's kind of my vibe.

When I'm like thirty seven, I think I'll just move to a house in Florida with a pool and start making Mermaid content.

It's kind of my watch.

Also, I'm so fuck that's scarce.

It's actually like something starting to burn.

I'm so hot that it's kind of.

I know, it's like blowing cool area.

Yeah I'm not that hot.

Okay, Well, we've been watching What would You Do a Bunch recently and like, yes, like a lot.

It is so good.

I don't think so good.

I don't think you'll understand. I know there's someone out there that does understand. But the lgbt episodes, okay, okay, it's actually coming out of my mouth. You got to turn it off, like I'm actually it's like I'm vaping.

Like look where the fucking thing is hi about?

Just turn it off from the back. The LGBTQ episodes of what would You Do genuinely like made me feel so fucking good as a kid. I really was like, oh, like God is good, life is good. Everything is gonna be fucking open.

Oh no, I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at like the ones we were seeing where.

People would be homophobic, Like there would be people who were being hella homophobic, and then John Keonez would come out and be like.

Why why did you do that?

And they're like, I just don't think it's that big of a deal to be gay, like he would just everybody would switch up once John came out, and then they would replay it and be like, that's interesting because that's not what you said. And then they replay it and these people have already signed away their rights for their face to be like not blurred.

And also card declined, I love I love that what you just said, I love you.

I love you too. I'm glad we're finally getting it out there.

You say I love Ruthie, I love that feels.

Weird because like she really was. I was related to her and she's passed away.

You were related to Ruth bader Ginsburg.

Do you think I got all this money me driving my home to Civic.

Paid for this dog plastic surgery with Ruth bader Ginsburg's money. Actually, she did get a bionic She really did have like a lot of fucking money. It like literally like hurts to like be crouched like this.

To your other Oh yeah, you can send your chair.

Well beauteous pain like that's true.

Remember Beyonce said pretty hurts, Patty.

You don't know that song.

Oh bitch, I know Beyond I don't know.

I don't know if.

She's like the biggest artist in the world, everyone knows her.

You don't know her like me though.

Okay, Well, what I was gonna say is, should I break the news finally hear the diagnoses of my stomach?

Oh?

Oh yeah, well you should give context just in case, like some people haven't been keeping up.

If you didn't know, bro, I got essentially spit roasted. I got an endoscopy on one end and then uh, kolonoscopy in my bum Eifel tower. Yeah, it really was like and they did it at the same time, and it was it was two men. So now I suppose I'm going to hell. And they also drugged me. I mean, well, okay, I mean they put me under anesthesia. They put me under anesthesia, which was scary, but like, basically.

I did all that.

They took a bunch of biofsies and everything. I have a rosive gas stritis.

I don't know what that is. I still don't. You've explained it to me like eighteen times, Okay.

Basically, to put it in a really short thing, it's just the wall of your stomach, the lining of your stomach is being eroded because your stomach's producing way too much acid and it's harmful acid. And then it goes up to your esophagus and you have a soophagitis as well, which is what I have, which is why I've had a sore throat for nine months.

I mean like four mint you had a sore throat for that long Because you guys share a bed every and I thought you guys were just.

Has de throwned you as the throat goat. Ay, yeah, I got you.

Let him pleasure you.

I also have a hiatal hernia.

Why do you actually Yeah, that's what does that even mean?

It's like too much jargon. Explain it's not that big of a deal. Like they put me on some fucking medication. We'll see what happens.

Well, the good news is I'm like perfectly healthy personally like fowel movements, are good, eating very well.

Recently, I've shipped out a single chicken tinder in the last fucking twenty days, twenty days, nineteen days.

Well, so I would like to I would like to clear clear the air. Drew has only been eating salad for the past like.

Weeks only salad, and you might mind.

That no ship has come out of his butt.

Yeah.

Have you been having fruit a lot?

No?

You should be. That makes you shit like crazy.

I've been drinking prune juice.

That's good.

That don't make it.

I've been drinking a bunch of prune. So I've been drinking a bunch of mirr relax daily, lots of ir relax. It's giving mix.

I gay I bought it drew something called like was it dietamacious?

Oh yeah, and you got me diatamacious Earth, which is what's used to like kill bugs in fucking your like flower beds, and I'm gonna drink it.

Wait is it dietamacious earth?

Diatamacious d sounds like a slam poetry rapper.

Dietimacious.

Dietimacious Earth is dd mega Doodoo's daughter.

Oh Mega do doo.

We wanted to be one of us, wanted to be the announcer who said dd mega doodoo and like get like I was, yeah, I was one was gonna be that. And then I was like thinking in my head, I was like, damn, that'd be perfect too, to get like a little like wireframe to hold up a picture in front of him so it looks like he's in the newscast.

But then we.

Remembered that that joke also involved somebody who literally died.

But also Ruth Bader Ginsburg is dead, I know, but like this is kind of paying homage and it's a tribute.

Really yeah, it's like it's really like you love her. She did so much goodness for us and without her.

Without her, you wouldn't be able to have a bank account.

Babe, Well, you can't have a bank account or fucking anything because you're a fucking dog.

But he's got that dog in it.

But I got that dog in me, I mean.

Fucking and that's why you're sitting around begging for the right to.

Like bacon bag and bagan strips.

He doose have been sounding so good too. I don't know why, but my appetite is completely changed. Hungry for bones, hungry for like chow, Like do you know chow?

Yeah, you got to get.

To like some tennis balls. Oh, now you can finally eat a shoe.

Yeah, I guess you could. We should we praise someone right now? We should prank call someone.

Yeah, but I wish you could prank all with a faceline answering the phone and it's a dog and he's asking to eat the shoe.

That would be funny. But I also we should prank call someone. I've been seeing this guy online recently. Prank call places and ask if they have a room for sixteen thousand people. It's just fucking chilling me.

Like did he call like a pizza hood or something.

And asked, like what there was a McDonald's and He asked if they had a I had room for an event for one hundred and fifty thousand people, and they were like, uh no, like fifty.

Wait, what is the capacity of most fast food restaurants? Fast food restaurants Literally, if you go in there and you're sitting down to eat, honestly, you were such a vie like I genus. It is so much respect for people who walk into the fast food place to eat there. Like anytime I've done it, I genuinely feel very good.

It's all. It's it's a very grounding thing to do.

Yeah, like you a lot, I feel like, yeah, yeah, I love it.

It's just a good path. It's a way to pass the time without feeling useless.

I haven't been inside of a Taco Bell, in formed dude.

I was about to say, the only one we don't be going into is Taco Bell that, yeah, we have to stay outside.

There's roaches in every Taco Bell. I feel like one of the ones in my hotel meat yeah the Talco me yeah, no, no, no, I feel like the taco meat is just roaches at Taco Bell.

They it was mystery me up until a few years ago when they had to disclose it well, I actually started tasting different.

I'm the thing.

I can't say anything because I was the girl who was like, I ate tuna from Subway until it's.

The tuna box.

The bread is made out of yoga mats. I think I brought that up last time I was on here. I'm just full of fun facts.

It's not made of yoga mats.

You're like, it is.

Why do you think it's so good?

Bro?

Why do you think Ellen has so much money?

Because she saved money, saves it on editors.

She don't spend jack shit on editors.

Watch the show, watch Ellen's game of games, and tell me that she spends shit on editors. She doesn't.

Fuck you know what I was gonna say.

Like, one of the topics I wanted to bring up is that although I know there are some good performance art pieces, like, there has been performance art that I've seen video of and I've been like, damn, that actually is like so innovative and like so interesting. Most performance art looks like batshit crazy, fucking dodo in my butt. Like I've never seen like a friend go to a performance art show and post an IG clip of it.

I've been like, damn, I wish I was there. It just looks like people actually.

Tweaking out and like freaking out. But with all that said, I wish so badly we planned this properly and we rented out of space and we got you in there for a performance art piece.

I mean, we can still do that.

We have an extra, Yeah, we can do that. Yeah.

I was freaking out trying to get Josie's costume ready and I bought like three separate dog snouts, so be expecting to see a lot more of the dog. Yeah.

And also I think it's becoming like a really big thing online. I've been seeing a lot of people protesting let the dogs vote, which thank you, which is very real. It is very real, and it's close to my heart.

And I think, what are they going to vote for a bone?

Yeah?

Yeah, and that's offensive.

Bro to me.

Yeah, Like he's right here, said anything.

I wanted to jump in with a good bit just.

Because, like, if you were listening, he also said, like, let the dogs wear wigs, Let the dogs get piercing, Let.

The dogs get a di abortion, bro, let the dogs like get divorces. Also not even divorces, but get married.

Get married.

Yeah, I don't. They can legally get married period.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Y'all are actually like I'm getting my life right now with y'all, Like y'all are really making you feel better about.

What my life is going to be like your leg see. Yeah, should dogs be able to adopt children? I don't think so. Yes, because they need two human parents.

Yeah, because that's not taking into account the parents of the dog.

You're saying two dogs couldn't raise a baby.

No, think so.

No, y'all, y'all's asked, are fucked up. You literally were sniffing me earlier.

Because he's been sniffing around. He's been freaking out.

Oh good, Why did you look at me like I'm tipping over?

Drew?

My favorite part of this whole costume genuinely is the glasses with the with the head wrap like combo.

Thank you.

Oh.

But speaking of the dog protests, so we didn't talk about it yet, but the dude that does the Spider Man cosplay and dances in front of the camera, so like obviously we were in that video, we were in his live stream and it was gaggy and like it was such a funny moment.

D insert here, gosh, oh, wait, Alex corn pepper Hill pepper yuky pepper Hill pepper yucky.

Yeah, that's ice stream yummy.

Hey, let the dogs vote chat, That's what I'm up.

That's what I'm about.

Notice how he moves the fucking camera at the end. Yeah, something is seriously sinister there. And I was really offended by it, and he moved it twice. But I read the room and I was like, Okay, he's uncomfortable by my presence. I'm gonna just like get out of the frame. I'll dip. So that's what I did.

That's what I thought, Like, I wonder if so many people go see him on live and get behind him and start being dickheads, and that's why he moves it.

But he he like, literally we came in hot, we were like, let the dogs vote. Yea da da da da. Well, he didn't know who we were. And then he saw the video that was posted online and he commented on it, and he commented on Josiah's video. Bitch. He thought we were fucking PETA protesters. He literally was like, oh, my Rita is protesting my life stream right now. I have to move them out of the fucking frame.

I wish so badly I could spy on him and know the conversation he had with his friend group because you know, Dann while he was like someone literally like Peter protested my life tonight, and I'm like so freaked out, like I don't understand.

Why, and I bet, like I just want to know so badly.

If his conclusion was that because he was Spider Man, spiders technically an animal.

Too, That's all I can think about, is.

Like I wonder if like his friends were like, there's no way Peter protested you.

That doesn't make sense.

And if he was like, no, spiders, yeah, don't squish the spiders.

I mean. But also what I want to know is like, did he really think it was a Peter protest because we said let the dogs vote.

I mean, people can get there, they've gone there.

I'm sure Peter pushes it. PETERA is like a bit freaky deeky.

I know, unless it has hummus, a pita and hummus.

Thank you you ate that. I'll take my raise, now you ate that. Take I'll take my Christmas bonus. Now I'll take my Christmas phone. Thank you for the Christmas phone. By the way, you guys know about Christmas Hall what in New York? Okay, forget about it.

When I'm in my flat tummy tea era, I just decided I decided I need flat tummy tea. I think that'll heal me. Can y'all fucking believe that? Like I g baddies were just selling like xatives and we all were just like, yeah, flat tummy tea. Hey, Like I went to flat Meanwhile, Like girls were just like shitting out of their butt all day on, which isn't illegal, like girls pooping is illegal?

Like you're making a point with this on is like killing me? Like, which is allego.

I'm like, and if they do, I don't need to hear about it. People.

I don't think that's something.

Ruth bader Ginsburg would be like happy, how do you say theater Binsburg?

Ruth bader Ginsburg was very full. No, she was for girls shouldn't and getting the award like girls.

Wait, someone should have done Dreams Face reveal. Has no end done that yet for Halloween? Yeah?

Oh that would have been really good.

There's a creative way to do it. There's something that you y'all need to tap into that aura real.

Quick, I mean really when this comes out, there's still going to be time to get Halloween costume, so we should just give away the extra Halloween costume ideas.

We had.

Your Bye? Did y'all talk about Your Bye?

Oh no, that was gonna we were going to do the your buye what would you do joke where like either me or in you had like blue hair, green shirt, that whole vibe. Let me look up because I have a whole folder like.

Dedicated to it.

I can't give away what I was going to be because I want to do it next year.

But all I'll say it, we could bleep it because what was it?

Oh yeah, Kim Kardashian did a few years ago. I also wanted to do Selena, but.

I don't know.

I still kind of want to do Like there's this like group of coss players online that I found that've been making their own like kind of masquerade like puppet masks, and I still want to do that, but I just don't know. I have the time of dedication because I

Like I'm not doing all that.

Also, all I could think about was the carcinogens cheeping into my body because I am so sweaty. All of my pores are open. Anything from this that is bad for me is in my bloody.

Imagine how tired we are.

Imagine I'm how tired we are.

Yep.

I just I feel like I don't look pretty right now. You're beautiful.

I love your beard.

Yeah, dude, you look really good. You look really hot, honest.

Thank you. I just I don't know if I feel I think he looks smart.

You look face for abusive?

Yeah no, I hate people. Yeah no, I hit people like.

Not not in that way, but like you look like a guy in like twenty ten who's like kind of a piece of shit and would like hit me if we were in a club and I bumped into you.

You look like David Foster Wallace kind.

Of Oh yeah he did any wear headbands?

Yeah, you had like a red band.

Wait, what were your other ideas or you couldn't find them, and I they're too good to give away because yeah, we meaning you're gonna be mustard and ketchup or like a light gonna be socket in a plug. I love it top in a bottom talk about what would you do?

Basically I need to be on that show.

So if anybody has connects, just put me on, Like, just confront me at a random time, no topics.

Are off limit.

I will probably always do the right thing because I'm a really good person, so it'll only do good for me.

It'll which my ass. I was thinking about that. I was like, yeah, no, I would like immediately step in on a lot of these, but like, no, I wouldn't, like I am such a fucking coward and afraid of confrontation that like, I don't know, I would probably step up.

I think my move would probably be there because there's.

My glasses are fogging up.

Yeah they are.

There's many sides of like reactions to what would you do? And it's the people who see someone in trouble and they go up to the person in trouble and they're like hey, and they comfort them. Then there's a person who confronts the perpetuator of evil, and then there's a person who just like sides with evil. Depending on what day it was, I'd either side with evil or comfort the person.

I'd be the first one.

Yeah, We're like, no confrontation, but I just want to go and give them money.

Yeah, I would go and be nice to the person who's being attacked.

But also my first thought would be like, I'm on, what would you do? So I really gotta do I gotta do.

Yeah.

In the newer episodes, you can fully tell everybody knows they are on what would you do? Like with Fail, everybody knows everyone's getting into character and like they kind of just let it run.

So fucking staring at me, You're looking bro, like I literally feel it from here and like I'm trying to listen to you, and then guy's like staring daggers at me.

It's fucked up because I think you look like you look the best you've looked in probably like the sixty years.

Yeah, since I was like seventeen, right, Yeah, seventeen, I looked great. Minute eighteen had I fucked?

They only once you when you're seventeen. When you're twenty one, you're fun guys. I am just like overheating and fucking dying.

Oh my god, last week you were talking about like nasty British food and we cut it out because you're weeth.

No, I was talking about British teeth. I saw British teeth. I saw British teeth in real life last week. Really scary, y'all. Like I know all of y'all aren't like that, but like really like bruh, like actually brush your teeth challenge, Like I'm genuinely not joking, says the man.

Who can't shit. Like y'all, y'all are gonna go dre, we should.

Any help?

Oh?

Oh, okay, sorry, Drew's okay, we're back.

Took a nasty spill, but Drew's fine. But I'm chill.

No, you're not chill. You're too crazy and I can't take you anywhere.

You take me anywhere?

So crazy anywhere.

My friend is so crazy. I'm so fucking crazy. I'm crazy. I'm so fucking crazy.

Now are you placking those around?

You're missing a pinky?

Oh, because pinky's up, darling. I guess she's not British. Fuck, I don't really know this character too well.

You wanted to dude because you had a bunch of bits planned.

Yeah, I don't know. What else does she do? In the Michelle fivorone, she hisses, you're red girl.

I'm fucking Mini Mouse bitch.

And it's so cute.

It's so cute.

Because I know y'all know, I was talking a lot about Disney and about her house, and Disney contacted me.

They kicked that bitch out. I'm taking her spot. It's kind of fucked up.

Does that mean you have to have sex with Mickey Mouse?

No, they don't fuck. They're open.

I guess they don't have kids or polly.

Yeah, Mickey Mouse clubhouse. What do you think that was about?

Becausey is gay?

I didn't say Goofy was gay.

Goofy's bye, But Mickey's gay.

But he watches them sex.

He's Aofy's kid, he's gay.

M Collect that Max is a child our clock.

That tone, he's an adult now, baby, that was like twenty years ago.

A club that's like forty eight.

That is eight thousand years old.

Now, Okay, something I've been dying to talk about this entire episode. Okay, you know those chiropractor videos where they like break the woman's spine and she like screams and like, yeah, da da da da da da da da. Why are ninety eight percent of those softcore porn? Like I'm not kidding, Like it is so hyper sexual to the point where

The moaning, and then I saw one recently where this guy like breaks his girl's spine and then like holds her from behind like this, and I was like, this makes me so uncomfortable. But it's so funny because what they've started doing instead of moaning is.

They add like Tom and Jerry ass screams over it, so it's not the actual screens. Have you seen that, dude?

I liked like three of them recently because I was just laying in bed and I thought they were so fucking funny.

Wait, let me find also. One of those chiropractors reached out to me like two years ago, you should have done it, and I didn't. He was like, I'm coming down to l a and like looking for like influencers to collab with, Like I could adjust you for free, but I would want to post the video I was too pussy.

It's like a massuse. It's like a massuse vibe where like massuses are like they come into your hotel room and like rub you up and then accidentally touch your boner.

Who said that when happen?

That never happened to me, Like when you're at a massage parlor and they touch your boner and they just like jerk you up.

But the thing is they're always playing in my ass, like every time.

The only weird thing I ever have happened during a massage is sometimes they like pull my fucking nasty ass underwear down, because somehow, every time I've gotten a massage, I'm wearing like my most beat up, like destroyed, dry, rotted underwear.

Like, oh, she's.

Put your bag of chips back on your head bag.

It's like way too dark.

We can brighten it in post, we can a little bit.

KI will finger it out. I'll finger it, Okay, don't you aren't supposed to beat that.

I will finger the video. Kai is always fingering the video.

That's the best one over.

No, okay, this is like the Tom and Jerry scream.

That is that is not that woman's voice.

That is literally like Jerry getting his fucking tail snatched by fucking Tom.

Or is it reverse? Who's Tom and who's Jerry?

Cat tail and Jerry is the mouse? Hello?

Oh, Jerry's the mouse.

You're the mouse, baby on the cat play a little game of mouse?

Oh? Also I found that.

Does she say that?

Oh?

I found out that Jerry's aside.

Do you know what side is? There's top bottom, verse and inside. I'm like, I'm giving like.

You're giving like celibate. No one wants to touch you. You're disgusting.

I'm giving top secret information away for free. But a side is someone that doesn't want any penetration at all.

Honestly penetration in their mouth.

Though, No, damn no bottom. No.

First, they're just hanging out, so they don't give head either.

They give they give head, Oh.

To a side, And you're saying, Jerry is aside the mouse, the little tiny thing that's like this big.

This is just what I heard that.

I don't did you hear that from? I guess LA is a crazy place, guys.

Just so you know that part.

You need to stop doing that.

You get nails like for real, because like this metal nails is kind of vibe.

Did have you seen the people on TikTok who are like, what is it called, like jewelry makers.

There's like a name for it. I can't remember the name for it, but they are people who no, it's not jewels, there's jewelers.

And then there's like people who are literally like fucking cobbling.

The metal jewelry makers.

They're called blacksmith, blacksmith, blacksmith.

Like blacksmiths makes swords and ship.

Well, you might as well be a fucking blacksmith because there's this motherfucker on TikTok who makes like nails, like they are doing sterling silver and gold nails, and.

They'll like take a mold of your hands. Yeah that's kind.

But also like, what are you supposed to do?

How the fuck am I supposed to bite my nails?

Like grills? I want one for my ear? Have you been seeing those? They take them mold of the inside of your ear and make a grill for your ear.

It's like an ear ring.

It's kind of like Scaparelli coated.

That would be coint but also like that's the kind of ship that here I go gluing on my goal old fucking nails, like I'm gonna be at a party and come back home and have like a pinky a pointy finger and like like.

The main events though, because it's goal And Ellen Degenner saved a lot of money on the show because she didn't.

Hire Head, she didn't hire nail Tex.

Yeah.

Oh, also, did you all ever see Will I AM's metal hair?

Yeah?

I remember at the super Bowl he had like metal hair and it's like a metal his hair but made out of metal.

Yeah, they're like ship people were doing when like.

Futurism was in popularity and main culture was so funny. We need to get back to that, but we are like too far in for people to do it.

For Eye Peace Tour. Back then, it seemed like two year twenty ten and eleven, everybody was doing whatever the fuck they wanted, Like Katy Perry was on a cotton candy cloud and then riding a giant metal tiger, and Lady Gaga was dressing up like Joe Calderone and Beyonce Gone.

Girl for Maine Halloween. You be joke Caldern and I'll be gaga, no.

Bitch for main Halloween. I gotta be this because I already sent momentey on there anymore.

If you see me out in this like three times, don't say shit to me. Act like you've never seen content of me in your life in this.

Because she showed it herself.

Yeah, I made this all myself. It took me like three minutes, probably like three minutes. Thirty minutes, Okay, thirty minutes For a lot of people, this would probably take like three weeks. But it took me like thirty minutes.

Did you know you have you know you have thirty minutes.

You know you have thirty minutes.

I love this bag of chips on your head. You're crazy, crazy like.

You see us. I'm genuinely concerned that you can't see us this whole episode.

Remember when that happened when we did the outdoor episode in Joshua. Yeah, like by nighttime, no, we turned on the night vision.

Yeah, I though.

Also I was gonna say, you look like pretty, you look good like. I don't know why, I like, I think you look like a girl right now, and you look pretty like if I saw you at the bar, droo, guy, I was like ten drinks in doubles, it's like twenty drinks.

So you need to be complete, you would need to be with me.

That's really homophobic. I'm calling it.

Thank you, no one, it's not homophobic. Let me tell you he's courageous. I mean, look at him, long brown hair. I would do it so very even and we would laugh about it.

We would laugh about it for sure.

You honestly look good.

It's long hair.

You should grow your hair up. I was trying to convince Drew so much. Oh my god.

Okay, so since the last episode, we went to the Brat tour, went to Sweat and it was so fucking funny, was like such a good conc Yeah, I genuinely think Charlie is one of the best performers I've ever seen and trust and believe.

I've been to a lot of concerts. My life's been pretty awesome.

Said Beyonce. Yeah, better than Beyonce.

I didn't say that.

No one's better than no One, saying the Charlie stage presence is the closest you can get.

Her presence like she has like sex appeal, like crazy. She's such a good performer. She is, like I couldn't keep my eyes off of her and also.

Interacts with the crowd too, is so fucking funny. She'll just like I don't know if it was La specific, but like her just like cussing us all out for being fucking bunk was like really sick, like I know it was. So it was very authentic feeling. It wasn't like a bit.

Also, Troy can dance his ass off, and I found myself like mimicking the way he was moving on stage, the way he like has such a specific like body movement, and I felt myself.

Like, you know what I kept doing. You know that video of Rihanna was high as fuck.

I know body is crazy. That video of Rihanna when she's high as fuck watching Lady Gaga and she smiles. I on ironically did that at one point like a fuck no who was on say, oh, okay, actually, I'm can you keep your fucking baggage tips on your head because you're actually being crazy too crazy? Like now you're pushing it with being too crazy.

Can y'all shut the fuck up? All three of y'all. Y'all want to see crazy, I'll show you fucking crazy.

I mean, the chips are already on the head.

Our little comedian.

You know it's crazy.

I don't think the Ryan knows you were doing that for Alluweien and she sent me that yesterday.

She was like, this is how I've been feeling lately.

That's so funny.

But I was mistaken. My Rihanna moment was when we saw Conan. Because I was with you. You came to Conan with us. Because we also saw Conan Gray. We we have had a blessing of a time at the Bitch.

We got over. Yeah, we were running Inglewood this week. Play with me because I also went to the football game out in Inglewood. I went to So Fine, So Fine and that was really fun. Ryan, I missed and love you. I.

It was so fucking fun.

We got to see Charlie, we got see Troy, We got to see Conan, who was like so awesome. Also watching like there were a few parent daughter couples around us at Conan's thing or like duos not foa and it was really really sweet to see like moms.

I wish I had a mom.

But more importantly, Coke Conan at one part goes like this like I don't know if you saw him on stage, He went like this, and I was so high.

I literally looked at him and I went like I did him back. And I got so embarrassed because I.

Was like, I was like, oh my god, what if someone saw me doing that, because he was like telling us to clap, and I was clapping, and then after everybody like finished clapping, he went like this, I was like thank you, and I was like thank you, like I get it back, and I was.

Like everyone thought like Charlie was like grew and her fans were the minions, Like I saw that joke a bunch, because like it really was giving that at some point Conan his grew and his fans of the minions, and I was clapping along, I was waving my hands, I had my flash out, like I was doing the whole

And I mean, yeah, most see why people love church because when you think about it. They do that damn concert. They get someone up there and they sing. It's probably a kid who can't fucking sing for shit.

It just makes them feel included. It's like you're a part of something. And that's really what concerts make me feel.

Like.

We hate church, No, min we don't mind church.

We don't hate church. But would you see me in a church by choice?

Absolutely the fuck not, Like I genuinely don't think I could sit through is it a sermon?

It depends on the religion.

Yeah, I want to go to the mahalland Drive church really bad. I feel like that would be I.

Think Christ Jenner one.

I don't know which one it is.

He was in a freaky church, Chris Jenner.

M there's I just know there's like a church on mahalland Drive with a beautiful view, and I just want to go to it one time. But I'm really about the lot.

And then I stepped outside and it was gorgeous and you had to be like that. I'd be like, wow, God is here, like he was here this morning with us.

But I've only been to Jehovah's Witness church.

So I think that's why I'm like I don't want to go because that wasn't fun.

That was not a fucking vibe at all.

That would have not been shown.

I literally if I move, if I have any sudden movements, y'all, like the chip bag goes fine to really be slow, really see I move suddenly, y'all. The Jewel class action lawsuit is going down and people are getting their fucking payouts. Finally I saw one for eight thousand dollars. Bitch. If I signed for that lawsuit, I swear to god, I would have gotten paid fifteen grand. I was smoking that shit when I was fifteen years old to the age of like twenty and I even like tried one like

Crazy, Wait, that doesn't make sense. Did you like go back? You regressed?

Yes?

No?

I yeah, time go No. I've been like sixteen for the last like six years. But like the real craziest part about it is I have an age today. I really haven't wait, bitch. This is my RuPaul's drag race, like my sugar snatch. Yeah, my snatch game.

If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you didn't get it. How Like, what the fuck does Catwoman do?

She's low key, quiet as fuck?

So you're not giving cat Yeah, she's supposed to be stealthy and quiet. You should have just been fucking Ariana Grande in that way.

I'm very demure.

Oh yeah, Josiah's being very demure, right.

I'm very demure. I'm very quiet.

Did your boots make so much noise?

That's the biggest plot hole in Catwoman? Is that leather outfit and not making sounds?

Well, I think it was real leather, It wouldn't make as much noise.

Actually, this is real leather.

No, that's from Amazon, and we got it for zero dollars because we're going to force your side to.

Talk about it. Amazon will let you do zero dollars and don't pay for it, and if you return it within seven days, there's no money taking out of your case.

It's a method for I was gonna say, I also think it's a ploy because like, most people don't have fucking time to return.

So they're lazy. Well, a lot of people don't want to work nowadays. You don't want to go down.

To the cold.

You don't want to work nowadays? Actually, no, you you've been working.

I've been working like I've been more.

No, you had a good year where like the work.

Was stacked and I wasn't even trying.

I was like, fuck this shit, Like, look, I got these credit cards. That's a maxim out. What's your credit score?

I think I have like a seven o five.

Now see what's your credit I think it's like a seven forty. Oh what's your credit score?

I think honestly, mine's like eight hundred and ten.

So you're okay, Like I buy it. The thing is like, is good money?

It's like mine is good because I'm nonchalant. Like mine is good because I'm nonchalant. I don't like I just like keep up with my life.

Well, it's good to know we'd all get approved for an apartment.

Yeah, I guess that you're just Josiah's is two.

It's about three forty. It's been rebuilding this in his building era. I'm in my building era because in twenty twenty two I was likes because like, I got a girlfriend.

What are you even doing though? Because you have the same fake product? Sure every day.

Food all I spend money on is fucking food. I love food. I'm obsessed with food. I eat all three meals.

I mean we can tell.

I mean stan because it's going somewhere.

It's going right to that bowl. It's going right go right to it's going to the big puss.

Dude, it's way too close to my face.

But really, like I'm rebuilding my credit, y'all, just wait until I get back to it, because you know what. One last thing about this, I'm so sorry. But by the time that I was nineteen, about to be twenty, my credit score was at like seven eighty. I was so close to eight hundred, like it's close. And then the pandemic hit and I realized, oh, I have credit cards and I can just max them out and I'll pay them eventually.

I literally think I only have a good credit score because I've been paying off.

Cars my whole fucking life. Like that's literally that is the only reason I have.

Is my credit is the fucking devil. I fucking hate credit. Don't get credit down.

It is evil.

I fucking hate credit. I wish I prayed. I did not get a credit score until I was twenty five. Since true, I just got a credit I just got a credit card.

Well yeah, but that also made our life incredibly difficult because my credit used to be bad. So then when we got this ugly, fucking nasty apartment, we had to beg for it, which is crazy because we had to.

Beg for the apartment.

We did change a lot of things around here.

I mean, yeah, we just shored this place, for sure.

We did change a lot of things around here.

We made our landlord more trusting of people under the age of thirty.

I mean, actually we did, because when we moved in, there was nobody under the age of fucking thirty five in this building. Now it is ransacked and run by children under thirty and a sixteen year old aka Drew and my neighbors. They scare me.

I don't want to talk about it. That's it.

I'm missing my middle finger, y'all.

We have not addressed like the main thing that happened this week, that is legitimately the most insane fucking thing I've ever seen happen in my entire life. Hate the man Trump working at McDonald.

And then E coli surfacing.

He licked, he fucking scratched his ass and spread the E coli particles and also Trump smells like ship. That is not like a like a made up No, people don't know, like this is a real thing. He smells like ship. He doesn't brush his teeth, I mean.

Like using clean towels, Like I know exactly what his towel smells like, and it smells like just like a nasty man saves.

So much money. Yeah, true, is because he uses the same towel.

Also, he eats a fish filelet like every single day, like oh.

Yeah, but also that true.

He eats a fish fileet on his private jet. He always gets fucking McDonald's for his private jet rides. He's fucked, nasty, rancid bitch. Go fucking vote, please, please want the love of God, go fucking vote.

He wears a girdle. That should be enough to tell you.

Also he had to sit on a fucking peepad on a talk show because he has a leaky fucking guy.

It can't be true.

No, it is.

So nasty. I literally like, I'm not kidding. In my head, he's not real. And if oh, you know.

That new AI thing where you can put in a picture and sqush like the image, that's what I imagine.

Is Donald Trump?

Like to me, He's not a real person.

He's somebody that if somebody wanted, God could come and squish him up. And I wish that's what would happen, but that can't happen. So what you need to do is go to the booths of voting and uh go and vote for miss Kamala and mister Walls.

Please vote for me, Please vote for me.

Oh yeah, that actually hurt.

Oh I saw that, Drew you felt that.

Yeah, he got a really bad headache.

Like not long after that was uplift they like reanimated.

That was real. Yes, oh I thought that was fake.

If only the people who killed bitches who were left handed and called them witches saw what we could do on our iPhones today, they would actually fucking die, like.

Oh, they would come.

It's crazy.

You can't.

You can't call anybody a witch for that kind of shit anymore. You're just like what website today.

They are literal witches on Etsy.

We need, yeah, we need.

They sell potions they actually do, they do, and candles.

I want to buy them. Oh I bought a bunch of witchcraft candles.

And he never lit them.

I got scared. And I'm also in my era where I'm not supposed to be lighting them. I did a lot of research and I'm not gonna light them anytime soon, and I may never, but I have them in the off chance that something horrible, horrible, horrible happens in my life, and I really do need to sell my soul to the devil.

Me and that devil.

That me and the devil.

I think me, you and Josie are going to start a trio and we're going to defeat the ones who made the like that.

We're gonna make a song click bay even looking like click bait. Maybe we're gonna make it look like clickbait deep bake. It's kind of looking like a click bait deep bake. It's kind of looking like click bait. Tell they watching me, you know what?

I feel bad for them, though, I truly I really do.

I don't.

No, No, the song is horrible. They don't make good music.

There are people out there who like that thing, Like that's okay, I know.

But I was just thinking about it, and I was like, dude, why the fuck? Like we live in such a crazy world where like this has become a topic that has lasted for weeks. When a shitty song used to come out, it would just be like, oh, that sucked, like but now it's like just no one has anything to fucking talk about, Like just shut the fuck up. I hate it, don't get me wrong, but like it's not funny to me anymore.

Respect, it's not funny anymore. Three weeks, Like I actually love this behavior.

We need to, like the trend cycle needs to speed up again for real, because we're running out of shit.

We spend so much time on this bit or not a lot of time. We don't have like a lot of things. Also, like talk about.

It grew up in an era of fashion like that will never be replicated. I mean, like twenty fourteen, we were like the twenty sixteen. Twenty seventeen is not gonna give like when they like recycle that ship, Like it is not gonna eat. No, twenty that's well to twenty fourteen will eat.

Specifically twenty ten to twenty twelve. That's not gonna happen, and you're never gonna make it happen. But like we'll have theater glasses with the lenses popped out, like the mustache.

Dude, the mustache finger.

She definitely had one.

Just we'll come back also before I lose this thought the same tonight is the new like younger kids version of like no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

No, guys, consent is important.

Yeah what did you just say?

Consent is important?

That's true? Actually is true?

No no no, no, no no no.

I was like, why are you saying?

I fucking ate y'all? Like the fuck alone you could start eating those damn chip.

By the cheats, I thought, gonna lie.

I can't wait to eat pretzels, even though pretzels low key give me PTSD because.

That was a fucking disgusting these I love the hell no head they no, dude, pretzels. No they're not. They don't give like. What they remind me of is church. Oh fuck church with a plastic cup that you would eat the pretzels out of and then they would put some sort of juice inside the cup with the pretzels.

Wait, y'all's Body of Christ was pretzel No, it was.

Like, uh like youth group.

Like it was just like a snack they would give you.

Oh, I thought it was like.

The Communion And I was like, y'all were using pretzels and like.

Juice because I was gonna say pretzels low key remind me of being in y m c A.

One.

The only snacks they would give us was fake Newtons and pretzels.

Big nets are so good, though.

I don't with fake Newton's. I haven't gotten story that hump.

Please, I'm trying to we don't have hr.

You are looking why he is playing with his like.

Are you looking? I thought you look.

I don't even know what to call that. Hit him, hit him, ye, honestly, Yeah, I've.

Been talking to It would be a Halloween mirror.

And hit me harder this time because last time it didn't.

Okay, hit me hard and sauce. He's giving Billie eilish.

Oh, I didn't do anything again again that wasn't enough.

He wanted out. I know, why do you bend over like that?

Yeah, because you're too afraid to hit me again.

You're being a slot, just being a slot.

Damn. Your ass actually looks super good in those pand no not you just said fucking Drew. Look at his ass.

It looks great. The headband fell.

Yeah. No, I'm just gonna commit like this just.

Like it just balanced it. Yeah, are you fucking taking selfies right now?

This is oh whoa whoa whoa yeah, and you can do whatever the fuck.

She her, it's her podcast.

Dare talk to my girl like that effort.

You need to take those fucking chips off your head because if I hear them falling one more.

Time, because it's all the salt in there, just.

Put the bag down, dude.

Oh my god.

Wait, maybe the bag of chips wasn't crazy, Drew. Maybe the like real meaning of that meme is like when she puts the bag of chips on her head, it actually dilutes the crazy.

And what'd you take?

That's a good theory, Drew. Drew, come back?

Why did he run away?

Because you guys are being homophobic?

I was amazing you.

Said a bunch of homophobic coated things. And I'm an ally so I do pick up on stuff like that. Drew, Come back, Drew.

I'm not begging.

I don't please come back.

He stop you look gross like you're scaring me.

Drew, Bro, what the fuck is this?

He's I took my wig off and this is what I died.

When did you get your hair done?

Like?

Did you get your hair? You got it today? Yeah, it was under the wig. I wanted to do like a reveal, like.

Like a wig under a wig.

Yeah, guys, I took my hair off.

I just wanted to say I wasn't here for the last Hollowing episode. It is such an honor to be here for this one. The eve before.

Your're sat poop, you're hitting your word Max, I am. Every word is fifty cents and it adds up quick.

So think about.

It, o Kai. I just wanted to ask you a question. Can you give me a forty word dissertation on why I'm so hot?

Four hundred words?

The thing about the way that Drew is so beautiful and his body goes crazy. I love his hourglass figure. I like the way that when he runs I can hear his nuts slap against his eh when.

He wears his little balls like girls make it clap with their ass. I make it clap with my balls for real, my dick and ball. Can you actually make it clap with the yes? I can?

Can you clap those cheeks?

Actually he can? Maybe you show me or us.

I think when I.

Turned twenty six, i'thing to get a bbl By the way, so y'all stay tuned for that. But I only have it for like a month and then I'll get rid of it.

I was trying to come up with a joke.

You're gonna have it for a month and then get it sucked out?

Yeah, I kill myself, right, I on ironically, Oh, what did you say that was important?

He's fine, He's fine.

He's not looking at that stuff all the time.

What did he say?

He said he's gonna kill himself.

You know him, he's commitment Yeah, he has commitment issues over heretic.

No one hates me more than I hate myself.

True.

I think I'm gonna start using my phone like this, Like you know how old people hold it from the bottom and they just like use their finger to like navigate around.

I'm gonna just start fingering myself on the podcast, yeah, just like you owe me bottom.

Then tonight I'm not doing that.

Why not should we tell ky spooky scary stories?

Dude?

I was trying to thinking, like, I don't know if I have scary stories that.

I have one that I've been withholding for the last twelve years. For this moment, I was a home alone. Oh, actually I was in bed with my father and my mother.

Wait, really, I am hating this way.

I'm like so confused.

No, no, no. When I was about fourteen years old, I was home alone.

Okay, mccola colcon true continually, Like.

You're actually starting to bring me out, Like it's really scarying me.

When you move around like that. I get to your face and I'm just looking at a blonde head of hair.

Do you actually have a I don't think he does.

I have a scary story.

Tell it.

So. I've been thinking a lot, and I feel like I'm not straight. I'm actually a bisexual person.

Cool, it's twenty twenty four. That doesn't mean.

The worst one, Like that's what you're going to.

Be, because it's like coming in like, bro, you're either straight or gay exactly.

I love you for that, thank you. I am a bisexual, but I'm only hooking up with girls.

Oh that doesn't make side with women the first straight side.

Yeah, Harvey Milk would be so proud.

Who is that hard Milk?

More homophobia?

Actually crazy?

Who was Harvey Milk?

Harvey Milk is I know?

Okay, this doesn't this makes us kind of stupid.

What did he do?

He was like he was a politician.

It's like for lg. He like he went crazy. Francisco.

I'm glad that Harvey Milk existed because he pays the way. But I don't know who he is. I mean that's just a fact.

Yeah, thank you for everything you've done. I'm guessing he's done for Drew's kinds. That makes me really happy what you've done for Drew's kind.

And I get to witness it now. Yeah me, Nope, Oh my god, back with a crying why are you crying?

Okay, like he does he's dramatic. No, he's with needs vodka. He just needs a little bit of vodka and he goes.

Dude, I have a bunch. I brought a bunch. I brought my car vodka into.

Your little bottle of car keeping the car. That your little bottle, your little baby bottle.

Yeah.

Do you all think if I went out this Halloween and went to a party and like hit like two people, I knew that if the next day I was like, oh my god, I like was going through psychosis. I didn't know who anybody was because everyone was in costumes. Do you think I could like do that you would get away with Yes.

Because you have pretty privilege and you can get away with anything. All of you do not flirting with I'm not flirting. I'm not flirting. That was a platonic compliment. Well, yeah, ours is more.

I have a good wink.

No, does I piss you off watching that?

No? I just worry for Drew.

What are you worried about?

He's scared of you.

I can hear you when you whisper I'm scared.

Okay, Well should I go into my little facts about TV remotes twenty five years ago? All right, I'll get into him. Yeah, so you know, you know why some people on the West Coast are like, oh, that's a clicker, like a remote. A remote? To me, is a remote? Clicker is a remote? To them?

Remote?

Remote?

Said remote remote.

I think Josh is the only person we've ever met who actually does that.

People call it clicker, yeah, really like give me the clicker and I was the switch?

Oh they wait, oh, can you pass me the switch? And I'm like, my Nintendo switch? The fuck are you talking about? And they also called the ATM the teller.

Maybe they call it what the fuck the verse?

Wait?

I genuinely think Josh's family has like time traveled because.

It's a weird shit they're really weird.

They're weird. The teller stands, I did not get to tell my TV remote shit, and you interrupted.

The facts of life you were serving.

We're just like, maybe it's called it is called a clicker, right, And I was always like, why do people call it a fucking clicker? Well, twenty five years ago, remotes literally changed the channel. The volume turned on and off by making a high pitched frequency that was inaudible to human ears. That was a loud clicking sound, so it would turn the TV on and off. But they discontinued it because people would open a soda in the other room or like turn on the fun and it would change a

I swear to god, Drew needs a fucking phone.

Can get a case.

I have Apple Care, which Donald Trump is promising to take away, that's why you need to vote for Kamala.

I don't know if.

That's why you need to do it, Like there's a lot of better reasons to do it. But if you were, for some reason an idiot and you haven't decided, I hope apple Care could at least push you.

You made that up, Like what's fucked up is he's fucking insane, and I believe that, Like no Apple Care. I literally believed. I heard your say in the room earlier and you repeating it.

I was like, damn, he really is trying to take a like apple Care away.

That was so interesting.

Wasn't that fascinating?

I was like in raption, Oh no, listen, and people would think the TV would turn on automatically. So they thought their houses were haunted by poultry geist. And so that's why they discontinued them, because people were like stopping buying tving buying TVs.

That's why they say so much.

That's why the same Sung lost a lot of money. Samsung is the biggest company in Korea. Fun fact, I knew that.

Actually what we didn't talk about was the Pharaoh and the Captain and Hulu.

This is USIA's scary story.

This is my scariest story.

Get into it.

I was okay, paint you the picture. It's twenty ten. I was like twenty at the time. So we were at the startup of Hulu. You know, Hulu, the streaming service. Yeah, yeah, we were at the startup of Hulu. It was me. Well, I created it, all the codes for everything. Someone comes along, his name's Jason, but he calls himself the Pharaoh, you know, and everyone in the industry' is like, oh, the Pharaoh, Like he's so prestige, you know, he's so you know,

I'm sorry, I'm not I'm not laughing traumatic. I'm laughing because like that's my way of connecting to people.

Well, okay, Well, it was a wooden ship. It was made out of wood and if you must know, and it was green, and it floated, and the pharaoh chased me around that ship for years until eventually he ousted me from the company.

And he caught you and put you in the hold of the ship and trapped you down there.

Yes, I was in the brig for quite a while. But also finally he ousted me from Hulu. I have no ties to it, no stock options. My options diluted down to zero.

But remember what you always say.

That TikTok ostracized me for my family, and also that Tim Walls is putting damp onto the boy's bathroom. So there's a hope that maybe I'll get my access back to Hulu. I'm driving a fucking Hanna Civic, for God's sake.

The rats are eating the wires.

My life is a fucking cartoon. Bro Okay, they're eating the fucking wires.

Why don't you eat the rats since your cat going?

Oh yeah, I wasn't cotgrel at the time.

But what I'm going to keep doing the tailbone.

Damn cats have it hard. But what I'm gonna really say is what I'm telling you right now is that the this is true.

A brain.

You don't know this.

The rats.

I parked my car durin Enius for a week, which says a lot about this street.

Oh okay, don't talk about our street like that.

But I hear people yelling at each other every night into our house.

I would live here. I think what it was is I parked it by that abandoned house that burnt down, and I think there's rats in there and they got up into my car. Oh my god, Bro, you're a mass breader.

No, I'm actually very compact right now.

Okay, let him talk about his traumas.

Bro.

He laughed about the ship.

I'm uncomfortable.

In sted by the pharaoh and family.

He was ousted by the pharaoh, Like you care about about is this giant pussy? You care about his giant pussy?

His botched tuck is freaking me out? All right, just keep going.

I'm so sorry just.

Because I was.

I was.

I shouldn't have said that ignored. Is something going to hit me for what I said?

Really? Just the rats crawled up into my car and ate all the wires and caused five thousand dollars worth of damage.

And I was like, did you hear that? Five thousand dollars?

The rats crawled up and like all the wiring, so his car just wasn't work, which I'm.

Like, why, like why they cannot eat it? Why are you biting through it? Like why are you with me? Because Kat, Like I really don't understand because my life is like a fucking cartoon, bro, Like the last few months, my life it's not even a joke at this point.

It's been like there's a.

Lot of good things that I'm grateful for. My family is alive, I have lovely people in my life, but like there's a lot that's like cartoonish. God is messing with me for real.

Well, the good news is, or I guess it's bad news for you, but we are not loving people in your life because we've actually been secretly poisoning you.

And that's why your stomach are yes.

You know, I thought my my girlfriend, I really two months into this whole stomach tobaccle. I looked at her when we were like sitting outside and I was.

Like, are you poisoning Phantom?

And I was losing it. Yeah, I like Phantom Dread because she loves that movie, and I bought her the book from that movie, the Poisonous Mushroom Book, Like that tells you which one.

She went into the woods.

About what was going on with.

Me, like a month and a half ago, two months ago, I was losing it. It was like a lot of stuff happened in my family and stuff. And I really genuinely looked at her and I was like.

Like, are you poisoning me, like, I really, I mean, well, I really can't even blame you, because the first half of this year was so bad for me that I genuinely, I genuinely believed I had either a hex put on me. I thought I was genuinely I didn't grow up Catholic, but I somehow had intense Catholic guilt.

That's none of your business. But I genuinely was going down.

I was going down a rabbit hole that I was like last year, I was committing sins that are like I'm repenting, like I literally, I genuinely for a day

And now I'm on medication. The feeling hasn't gone away with it and here you are.

For the most part, it has though, yeah, you don't you don't complain about it is you look really beautiful. Your eyelashes look really good.

Thank you.

They're fake, are they really?

Really?

I put two fake ones at the end.

They look good.

They look good.

Well that I could have like a mini mouse cuntiness.

Can I hit no goota fooled me.

Yeah, you didn't even.

Have to give me a compliment. I'm actually like really easy going and like nobody has.

A treat right now, just like I don't want that ship anymore. It's ran through.

Okay, it's ran through. Are you talking about the kitty? Don't talk about the kitty?

Oh my god, thank you. You're not calling it tuna box.

It's not the tuna box anymore. Baby. She had it cleaned out, she had it flushed out.

Yeah, you you know.

The video is when somebody goes so far down to during that the snake comes out the other end of like another apartment.

That's what they happened to us.

They did a snake body.

And it came out of my mouth and like slodged around it like what.

Happened with Mike, and they were like both ends.

I need the footage.

Was there a camera?

Yes? I have all the pictures. You guys want the pictures?

Did you actually have footage of it?

I don't have footage.

I wish I have photos.

Was terminal ilium? The cobblestoning, weird cobblestoning. It's too much to explain.

It's not funny, y'all are like, Literally the reason y'all feel sick is because you have iPhones?

Like it's that damn phone. I'm not even kidding.

It's definitely, because, definite.

It's because, y'all can I've realized I am in a group of friends who are all extreme hypochondriacs, and it literally every time I walk past the room.

It's like, and I know, and I like, I think I need to go to the hospital. Literally, like every waking moment is like somebody being like, I think I need to go to the hospital. No, you should, I'll take you. Do you want to go?

I'm like, it's literally that the first time in my life I have not been taking my health serious.

I know, and it actually is working.

Its been valid reason and it has been begging me to go to the hospital. And I just I think I'm going to perforate my colon on purpose and I'm going to lose an arm because I go septic.

No, okay, because this this is a dark.

I'm gonna go septic. Yeah, we don't want to see.

These are bad thoughts coming out in different ways than you're not taking your health.

I'd rather lose a projection of.

Something you're feeling mentally because you haven't been feeling good mentally, so now you are not taking.

Your health here exactly. No, I want to die.

When it finally comes out. You're gonna have to get a husband's stitch.

But I will say I am genuinely so jealous of the relief you're gonna feel when it's gone.

Like gym, I went to the gym. We don't have a scale in our house. I think there should be illegal in homes. But we have a scale at the gym. And I've been trying to gain weight. I've been trying to gain fucking weight. And I stepped on the scale and I was like, hey, I'm like putting on muscle like crazy, bitch. I hadn't shit for fourteen days at the time, and I had twelve pounds of shit.

Wait wait, we went the other day, did twelve Yes, there's no no, he is every time we're like at the gym randomly, like when we're leaving, when Drew has like finally started to gain weight, he'll update me on like if he's gaining weight.

And I hover around one thirty eight till one forty four on like a really good day, and like when I'm one forty four, I'm like, fuck yeah, I'm like I'm gaining weight. This is tea bitch. I weighed one fifty two, Like actually, yeah, that's twelve pounds of poop, twelve pounds of wingstop babe, I did shit out. I did ship out a tender worth of turds.

Oun't of my describe as a chicken tender. And I was like, oh, that's like a pretty good amount of pooh to come out, and he said, no, tell that's the total. He described the measurement unit as a chicken tender.

It's like it's like the volume of it. Like there, they come out as little marble like chicken tender.

You're like a Chick fil a chicken tender.

Okay, okay, that's better. Yeah, but like no, like a dinky one, not like a big girthy one.

Like like when they accidentally throw it and you're like, oh my god, they were.

Being nice yea. Or it's like they give you a giant second tender and then a tiny third tender, but like, bitch, it's it's really over for me. But the pain has stopped over here, but it's still going on up here.

Yeah, I guess I'm taking I have.

Toxic mega colon. I've been claiming that I have toxic mega colon.

Is the best title for like a disease or like condition they've ever come.

It's literally when you're colon, just a pragnic, big toxic mega.

Toxic melow no toxic melicauld you.

Well, I can't say it's so fucking iconic. Your colon gets so fucking big that it like can't go back down and then the ship just falls out of your body.

Well, a reason why I've been thinking my hexes back to being activated is because I've been getting really embarrassed at the gym recently. And one of the things that happened is I was leaving the shower, and I when I leave the shower, I literally just leave it but naked nasty, because I'm like, I'm just gonna go to my locker and put my clothes on.

Well, when I was walking out my bag. Girls see each other naked, Yeah, and we play and stuff.

Okay, I was gonna ask that.

And we don't have a sona room. We have like a slip and slide and we all push each other around.

With your boobs out.

We only pushed by the boobs.

Sure.

When I was leaving the shower the other day, I have this like drunk elephant zip bag that I got in pr once that's kind of like a little briefcase with a zip, and I didn't zip it all the way and I walked out into the hallway and everything I have like forty random pieces of shit in that fucking bag. Everything dropped on the floor, exploded and shot across and around the locker room. So I have to embarrassingly run and grab a towel and have like cover

And I don't believe in apology.

And then when we were walking to our car, I saw her again, so she saw me.

Also.

It was right when I was telling Drew what happened, and I think she heard me. So that was embarrassing.

I think women apologized too much, straight up.

Oh, I'm with you on that too.

Weirdly, me and Drew also agree.

I feel like cats should also be able to vote. No, not just dogs.

Cats are very conservative my distinct they are dogs.

Are different level. That's scaring me.

Dogs are liberal. Cats are conservatives.

That is not true.

I feel like.

A Republican is Democrats. Is a liberal goddess?

Al voted early by as I.

Said, early by ballots.

She did vote in is a libertarian honestly.

Has blue eyes and white fur.

That is an Arian cat, probably orange tips. Hello hair, Yeah, you know you have a Republican cat.

Your hair is liberal, guys, I swear.

You know. What's the worst part is I'm being so defensive because I know is conservative, Like I know that's a conservative cat.

But I had a question, uh no, no, no, no, how would you get away with murder.

How would I get away with if you're going to kill someone and kill myself?

No?

Just that, No, no, that doesn't count.

Get away with it?

How would you kill somebody? How would you do it? Just? Can you just say it really quick? And how would you get away with it?

Okay? Well, I know the method that I would dig a hole that is twelve feet deep down vertically that only the body can fit into. But it's going down, they can't smell it, so the surface area is super small, and then put a dead animal carcass on the top of it. So when the dogs hit the scent they see, they dig it up and they see an animal carcass and they're like, oh, this fucking phony ass dog got the dog job. You're to get your dog.

Fired, like you're killed someone and you're going to get the dog.

Get dogs unemployed.

I don't give a.

Fuck about police dogs exactly.

How would you do?

I guess where do we stand on like police dogs?

Guys?

Seriously, because we're like pro dogs, But where are we saying with them?

I don't give a fuck about police dogs.

I feel bad for them. I genuinely feel like police dogs are abused.

The shepherd so that means they're also German. I mean, I don't want to say it, but like I'm saying it, And how would you kill somebody?

Mitch? I wouldn't kill anybody because I'm an angel.

I'm not about to say publicly because what if I do kill someone now, They're just gonna happen.

So I would just bury the bodies in Central Park next to the Big Rock.

No, I actually I'm not kidding.

I think I genuinely would be the last person to get away with murder. I can't keep a secret or something that I've done in me to save my life, I have admitted to everything I have ever done or pre told someone that I'm going to do something. I quite literally can't shut the fuck.

It's like written all over Yeah.

I literally I feel like I'm a bad Like if the police came out to me and they.

Were like you he that, uh wear your heart on your sleeve? You didn't come up like andya wears her heart on her sleeve.

I actually never have sleeves.

It really good, thank you.

Well, when it's hot, how am I going to wear it on my sleeve? Where's it going?

Just?

How would you kill someone?

I would kill somebody by really just the vacuum, big vacuum, death by vacuum. I had put them in the freezer or something. I really don't know, I kind of would. I was curious to hear, y'alls. I was like, I feel like mine kind of a now, yeah.

You know yours yours a in a way that I really don't like, Like I feel like you know something or you've done something.

Well, No, you just have to think about it because you got to be prepared.

Also, the blood stains in the car. Can't forget about those bloodstains in the car.

What do you tell?

What do you feel like?

You're saying?

That's always what gets someone caught, y'all. If you want to know where my mental health has been, I've been back to watching a.

Lot of murder stuff. So it's got to tell you where I'm at.

Because there was a where I wasn't watching any of that.

That is a great way to tell where mental health is.

No, because I was going to say when I was getting a little better, I was actually, oh, my god, no, it does. It does say a lot because literally, right when I started taking my medicine, I stopped watching watching murder stuff.

But a little before that, right right.

Drew, sigh up, ju die up, just sing it, but like, how does it go? Just anyway you want.

Jeeze die up?

A little more jee a little more.

Juicy up, like how that girl does it?

Yeah, exactly tell.

Me watching me. You gotta looking like deepek epink.

That's how he sounds.

He keeps like patting.

It more food on your phone with your ass.

I only have three, y'all. Oh okay, the worst part about COVID is those damn QR menus worse than all those people that died. My I am allowed to. My grandpa and technically my grandma both died of COVID.

And your bug.

Yeah, bag.

No, I gave your bug COVID.

She sprayed it with Dude.

I have this such a good picture of Drew with the bug. I don't know if you have seen it, but it's really good.

We'll insert it right now, will insert it? Uber drivers just Drew with the bug for Halloween. Oh my uber driver just said he's his own boss. No one controls him. Bitch, make a left right now. So in a polyamorous relationship, who sits in the back seat.

That actually is fucked up?

I'm not sitting in the fucking back seat.

You love sitting.

You rotate in a polyamorous I know that.

Also, did I tell you that my uber I told you guys that my uber driver is trying to kill me the other night? Yeah, yes, I was ubering to l A because my car was getting fucking chewed up.

And I was like, riding, that's like the last job you should be doing for the doctors in a round. They make pilots do that shit, and that's why so many planes go down. It's always because a pilot err And that's why a lot of pilots.

Are because they don't strike money on there and yeah, that's how airlines saved money because they don't hire editors for their via.

This motherfucker was telling me. I was like, do you have insomnia? He was like yeah. He was like I don't know. He was like, I'm just like super paranoid, And then started going on this whole long tangent about how like he was like pointing at the lights outside the window. He was like, have you noticed these lights have been off lately in LA and like kept looking back.

He just thought he was being followed.

I don't know. He said it himself. He's paranoid. I mean, I gave him five stars. I tipped him like I can.

Relate a little bit. I thought that headlights were speaking to me. You did for a while, Yeah, I really I thought that the left headlight being out was a sign of cars for like, I.

Kept saying it in the car with me he'd be like, I feel like I'm gonna die, like probably by an accident or something, and I was like, I'm literally driving the car, so that means we would both.

Say so I think, like, really, what it was like, I'll tell you exactly what it was when I would see a headlight out that side of the car hit my side of the car and killed me in a past life. That's what was scaring me, and I was just waiting for it to happen in his current life. Started something inside. I love you Drewe, y'all.

Dude, I literally can't wait till Drew's fifty.

I know it's gonna be so good.

All right, Well, thank you guys for watching me.

Oh shore, I also have media, so don't forget about.

Me, guys. Good news is it's eleven forty pm.

No it's not, Yes, it is, okay my media. I'll get it over quick. The substance. Seen it twice, gonna see it again in theaters.

Love it.

I'm sure you guys have already been talking about it still. I mean, I just re listened to that Claire album and we were on the way back from Big sur and since then, I've been on the kick of It again. It's a really good album.

It is amazing.

And Greer's new album that's coming Backers coming out with the new album Zoo within the month. You'll have something that's all they get, that's all, that's all they do.

Something I'm featured.

Mine is Ladies and Gentlemen. We are floating in space by Spiritualized. I can't believe I got to see them perform in person. That's crazy. Oh I can't do that song because they're a bad person in God's childlike Hands Lauren Alder Pluto, York. Everyone knows any r d and rewatching Nurse Jackie again, Boom Mine is.

To run Gren Sorry, and that from you Please read me by the Begs.

I've got to see you tonight.

Timmy Thomas, you make me feel brand New's stylistics, the plastic And I rewatched Edward Scissorhands and I think his hands were unnecessary, Like.

Why were his hands made it.

In that movie? But ridiculous.

It was ridiculous.

It's a great movie though.

Oh, guys, in my media is I've been seeing these like really cool videos on TikTok. I think they're called edits where I'm like the subject of them, and it like flips around and it does like all these cool like motion graphics types type things, and I'm anyway, I think they're really cool. I would love to see more. I would love to see more of those.

I'm just giving instead of making edits of you, they can make edits of us.

Okay, well, guys, I like it when you do like the slow motion thing where it's fast and then it's slow and I'm kind of like taking off my jacket or something. I actually don't even know if there's a video of then, but yeah, so just keep thinking of those