Enya Overshares

Do you know what that is? Welcome to this episode of a Martini Intercom. Those are gonna be my last words.

Bye, but well, ultra real, oultra ultra Welcome back, guys. I feel like it's been like a month for some reason. I literally feel weird.

I know, it feels like it's been a long time, but it's just because you went out of town and usually it's nice.

Yeah. But okay, so this morning or yesterday when you picked me up from the airport, you were like like, I'm shitting out of my ass, Like I'm spraying liquid shit everywhere, Like I don't know what it is. It's probably the chlorophyll because I'm drinking chlorophyll. Again. I opened up that cabinet and I see you have probiotics in there. Are you taking probiotics? Yeah, that's what's doing it to you.

To me this morning, I was like, I'm not even taking fucking probiotics. What are you talking about? But that literally is that's what it is. Okay. This is like so tami and gross. But I went to go ship and it was like ill, She's like it was like a fire hydrant out my fucking buttthole and it was like the worst it's ever been, and I couldn't believe it.

She talks to me when I was on the airplane, She's like, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make it, Like I think I'm gonna shit.

Myself in the car, But I've been fine. This morning. My poop was solid, but it was dark green because of the core. Yeah, so I think it was definitely a mix of the probiotics and the chlorphi that have my guts to working, because my guts are still twerking. Like it's like I haven't taken it today, Should I take it? Should I still keep taking it?

I mean, yeah, it'll it'll balance.

Take that every day, Yeah, every day.

I mean it depends on the bottle.

But like imagine it's like, only take one a week. I've literally already taken five.

No, Yeah, you should be good. Probiotics are lit though you're just eating like a bunch of bacteria. It's kind of crazy.

I know it probably doesn't help, but like, like what I'm eating with it too, is like all the kind of things that make you shit your fucking little butt out.

Yeah, talkies, hot Cheetos.

I've had a hot cheeto or talking in a minute. I don't like.

Oh, I ate so much in Texas. It's so bad, dude. When I go back to Texas, I literally lay in bed at like one or two am, and what I do is I go to seven eleven because there's a new seven eleven in town. I go buy a shit eleven. I have to get she literally just moved in. I have to get a chocolate. I have to get a sweet or a sour, which is typically like a gummy worm or a sweet tart situation. Then I have to get like a cakey item, so I get like one of those hostess with the white swirl.

I was like a cake item.

Yeah. And then I get a bag of hot chips, so whether that's like talkies, hot cheetos, hot fries, one of those, and I get a big bag of those. And then on top of that, I also get the uh cheddar cheese ruffles and I eat that bag on the way home.

You know what's so nasty about Drew is like, Okay, I was talking to Ryan about this and she doesn't really care for but she agrees with me.

Drew, Okay, damn sure, we're talking shit.

Hot topic. Damn hot topic. Hot take. You are supposed to eat your snacks from savory to sweet and end. That is how you're supposed to do it. No, that's how Michelin Star chefs feed you. They give you say and then they end it with sweet. Drew will have all of his snacks open and eat like a handful of gummy bears and then throw chips in his mouth right after, and then take a sip of a doctor Pepper and then have a bite of cake and go

You know why I do that, It's because I like to like level out my flavors in my mouth. Because if I eat all the sweets and then I moved to the chocolate, then like I'm not gonna be able to balance out that chocolate off the sweet savory. You're gonna exactly just like all around. So like I like to balance it out and have like an even level of flavors all the way.

No, you're literally supposed to have the savory thing until your body is now craving a sweet because you had so much savory and then you ended off with the sweet and then you drink water.

I don't like having a sweet mouth after.

But why do you drink a pepsi to finish it off? He's like, I don't want a sweet mouth after, but he gets a vanilla doctor Pepper, and.

Yeah, I've never had vanilla cream doctor Pepper. I like, sue me, fucking put me in jail because I saw it at CBS and I was like, you know what, I'm gonna try this. How was it? I haven't tried it?

Oh my god.

Well no, I save it so I can have it for like a good moment, like tonight, I'm gonna eat that fucking doctor pepper, or drink that doctor pepper and eat my peppers like it's gonna be nice.

That's your dinner. Yeah, yesterday Drew's dinner was sour gummy worms.

Well the very berry the very berry flavor.

Is there a difference?

Yeah, it was like a very erry mix.

Oh so there was no yellow and like green ones. Fuck the yellow and green gummy worms? Are you kidding me?

I like agree, but also I don't agree.

Come bounce on Mama's lap, Okay, but yeah, if you drink the fucking if you eat the yellow and green gummy worms by choice, like if you like you open up a bag of gummy worms and those are.

Your ones, bitch, No one is doing that. If you're doing that, leave a comment and you and I will do that. And the thing is is you are a freak. And I will find that comment and I will brade you for it because that is weirdo behavior, weird obere.

We're gonna dos you.

We're gonna find your IP address and leak it.

I'm gonna call your job and be like this fucking freak, bitch.

Yeah, because that is honestly weirdo behavior. But I do agree, But I do like the I like them sometimes, but not like No, those are nasty.

They shouldn't even be in the pack.

I'm not even I'm not like tapping in to eat those, though. I'm tapping in to eat the blue and red one. And That's why I got the very very pack, because it fucking is the lunches.

Here's something I remember this was a voice to text thing I said in bed at four thirteen am.

I said it in bed.

I said, we need to start prepping and warning women that they will not be seeing their ex in the next ten years ever again. You will not date that person again because you will not want to be back with that motherfucker. You will never see them in the next life or what does our next life even mean? You will never date him again? Do not date him again. You're fucking eighteen.

Real, because that is literally, like, dude, it's it's comical how everyone's first relationship it's like eight mirror like everybody's first relationship.

They have the same exact experience. Like at the end of it, everybody has like the like the denial of like no, we're gonna work it out. We're gonna work it out. It's gonna work out. It's fine, it's fine. I can fix this, I can fix him, Like I'm

Like what?

But we need to start prepping people because I think, I.

Know, I think you should have hope. I think you should love yourself and have hope.

Yeah, girl, once you start to loving yourself and and be like, wait a minute, let's dissect.

With that one.

Love your love yourself.

Because also like it's just so funny because you get out of that first big relationship and everybody looks back and it's like, oh that was about that was not good?

Like like any relationship that you've gotten back together with your partner three or four times, like babes call it could just give up? Collease please, I'm begging you just give up, move on.

But I wish I remember what I saw. I think I saw a TikTok where like so it was like they were talking about breaking up and it's like maybe one day we'll get back together, and I'm like, no, you won't. What are you talking about?

Look, we come here to be real and we tell you the truth.

Okay, y'all, y'all would be real, be real this time, to be real, time, to be real. That on an application, I'm applying, you're on an app. I'm up to my real life.

I r O easy, hold it down, Hold it down, hold it down.

But that was one of my notes that I had, and then it was the diarrhea from my chlorophon.

You know what I am to this podcast, I'm literally just a soundboard like you click, you know the soundboard where you click.

The but no one's clicking ship bit you just.

But no, I know that's what I'm saying. I take it into my own hands and I clicked the soundboard.

Well, what's the next sound.

I don't have one. I literally for Rose, just.

Noreading, threading, druthruthruth, truth, truth.

Sometimes you gross me out, fuck.

You, well, this will gross you out even more so. On my flight to Texas, like I was like, oh, this is gonna be an easy flight. It's only like three hours, like it's chill whatever, and I like got on the fly and every single time I get on an airplane, I've said this a million times, but the fucking hum of the engines, like, yeah, help me to sleep, like with before we even take off, I am asleep. But for some reason this time, I was like, I'm

Girls?

She thought you had monkeybox, you were experiencing extreme fatima.

No, literally, well okay, okay, well we'll get into it in a second. We'll get into damn shut up dawn. So I'm like, okay, I want to at least stay awake for the drink cart and the the pretzels. So I stay awake and I'm like fuck, yes, like it's coming. But then I fall asleep as it's passing by me. When they passed by me, and I don't get my soda, and I'm like, oh, my fucking god. But by the grace of God, she like looked around and saw that

Yeah, real life sized pillows are like crazy.

But the reason, the reason I she's not beating these monkeybox allegations is because she had a sore on her thigh and I sent a picture to you and it looked like a monkey pop. It was scary as fuck.

Well do you have it? So now you have it.

I don't get acne and I got something pop up right here five five days later. No, what, so I think I have it.

If you gave it to me, I would fucking beat the shit out of you. Well, I'm literally I would go into your room at night and I would fucking cut open all your legions and pour fucking salt and vinegar.

And you would probably fix me. So so thank you, yeah, actually thank you for healing me. But no, there's no way I'm going to get it because I'm celibate.

That's like not gonna that's not gonna protect you. What you need to do is probably just like stay in your room and then like when we go out as friends, like you should honestly just stay back, like it's the best way to protect yourself.

Wait. No, so you know how Kai was like, Drew, you predicted monkey Pops. It wasn't even me.

It was you. You're welcome, Yo, You're welcome.

So Ki, you're a fucking liar.

Did someone clip it?

No?

I went back to the episode because I was like, did I actually say that? Because there's literally no way I do not remember.

You know what's crazy is I don't know how I came up with that because I before this had never heard of bunky Pops.

Yeah, you just pulled it out of your ass. But no, you were just like you said something about it within the first like two minutes of the episode, and I was like, oh it it me?

Yeah it was mean? Is that when we had our flea barts? Yeah, dude, it doesn't help that. But there was a spider in my room.

Dude was eating Ask.

Me up, like, so I have like two bites from a spider. And I've been getting a bunch of spider bites. But this has been going on for the past like four fucking months, that a spider has been living in my room and I wake up with these crazy spider bites. And I'm always like, oh my god, it's a spider bite. And everybody's like, no, it's like a mosquito bite that got like infected or something. I'm like, no, bit this

It was like a quarter of an inch. It was not humongous, it was big as fun. And it was like, Drew, if you don't fucking get this bug, or if you don't get this spider, I'm killing it. And I was like, do not kill that spider. He deserves to live. Yeah, right, he's Where are the twenty twenty two flies in our house with the fucking keys? They're not in here because of that spider was cleaning.

No, that's because a zooll be chomping them. We have a zool. We don't need spiders.

No, I'm but I take this. I don't let the spiders live in the house. I do have one that lives in my bedroom that I see crawling across my ceiling at night, and I'm just like, dude, like I like want to get you out of here so bad, but like you're literally not biting me or harming me, and you're probably eating other flies. So I'm like, whatever, you can live in here, but that fly or that spider bit you and it deserved to die. But I didn't want it to die, so I took it outside, but.

I was caught it because she put her in the way, Like she had a mason jar full of water in my room and put it on top of it. And I came home at night after the gym, and I was like walking because right always does this and it drives me crazy. But I never bought it up to her, so like how would she know?

But I.

Know, I feel like even if I said this, it wouldn't get fixed. But every time she fucking comes over and spends the night, she unplugs my Cei because she unplugs it so she could plug a charger in there, but she always takes her charger and never plugs my Ciri back, which makes it like so for me a maneuver around my room because how I turned on my lights is I'm like, turn on the lights. So she leaves it unplugged, and the mason jar was right there, and she told me she was like, be careful for

Coup and that's why I was screaming, yeah.

Because I was like, I was like, my feet are wet, and now the spider's gonna be on me, and I was freaking out.

No, the spider is alive and well and in the front yard.

No, it probably got put outside and got eaten by something else, Like immediately that she got eat well.

I was gonna say, I when after I spilled the coke on me, I just didn't shower that night because I kind of liked my sticky ass.

You were like so fucking disgusting.

I actually did shower.

I literally you didn't shower. Yesterday Drew came home with stinky airport body and just put no, here is this he came He didn't shower. Not only that, but then he just slept in his gym clothes again for the next morning.

So he's like, oh, I sleep in my clothes the night before so I don't have to wake up earlier to put what I just said.

You slept in your gym clothes for the morning.

But you're it sounds like they're dirty. They're clean gym clothes. But I don't sleep. I don't shower before the gym because I'm like, girl, I'm gonna go getting nasty and sweaty.

But he spent the whole day and didn't shower, and he didn't go to the gym yesterday.

Girl, Okay, I like the way my ball smell. Is that what you want to hear? Because I literally do like my ball smell fucking delicious. I'm not kidding. They do. And every time you come into my room, you're like, damn, you have nice pheromones. You're smelling my balls.

I never fucking say that's your candle, your fig candle is what smells good. You know who has like a good like scent? The fucking Ovaye family.

They do.

Those motherfuckers smell.

Good as funny. They washed the out of their clothes.

Josh's natural scent, Like Josh sleighs with his natural slent. He's like never stinky to me. Yeah, you, on other.

Hand, have I smelled that before?

No, I've actually never smelled you. Maybe there was like once, but like it was after like we did something like exercise wise, and I feel like it was like more funny than it was, like you stunk, like, but you've never I've never like gotten to the car with you. If I got on the car with you, when I smell your mustard, like get yeah, I like go inside and take a shower.

The craziest thing is I've trained my body not to smile because I just don't shower.

I thought like the stink of your balls, But now you don't snink.

Oh my god, Oh my god. If you don't shower as often, you'll stop getting back me and your body won't snink. I do same with washing your hair. That's a real thing.

Hair, Okay, the hair thing, yes, But like do not like make it seem like it is okay to go like days without washing your body, because that is like nasty.

This is literally like someone's like scientific research or some shit. I don't fucking know. Don't ask me for sources because I'm literally just speaking out of my ass like shut the fuck up, but like there was this picture set going around that like color is leaving the world, like literally,

It is. It is crazy to see like some of the richest people on earth live in a house that basically just looks like penitentiary.

It's so weird.

So I think that kind of like like for some people it works and it feels authentic, but so much of it feels like dude, it's literally like the Kardashian like like delusion of wealth. It's like I've always said that is like it's literally like this like delusion that because like you see someone, which I understand because I've fallen victim to it. I feel like anybody who doesn't come from like an elite s of wealth, like you

It's that. And also like hyper consumerism, like all of these brands like like making their logos from like cute, like their old school logos, and now all of them are literally the same font like in the video she had like a side by side of like all of these brands are just becoming like hyper consumable, so like anybody and everybody can buy it and wear it and

Even Ninja changed his logo.

I know that because Ninja isn't doesn't have blue hair anymore.

Ninja. No, Ninja literally did like fucking yosify minimalize his fucking really logo. Yes, it went from like his head like that whole thing.

What if your shirt it says sixty nine instead of sixty eight. It would be like sixty nine, like we could like like talk about that or something. The only reason I noticed it was because I was looking at your boobs. I know, bitch, do you ever catch me looking at your boobs?

No?

But yesterday when I walked in your room, it was I don't think you were actually looking at my fucking cootie. But when I was walking in your room, you were on the floor and you were like just staring at me, and your eyes were.

Right to my fucking I was looking at it, and I was looking at it.

Almost made comment on it. But I was like, Drew's like not looking at my fucking big ass coach. And even if he is, like it's in a way that's like, damn girl, like put that big thing away.

No, No, it.

Wasn't like.

I don't think I've caught you looking at my I don't think any of my I haven't caught any of my.

Car looking at you. We're looking at me like he was just staring at you. It's creepy.

Well that's because Kay's like in love with me, and it's like kind of sad because it's like, like, what is she to do you want what.

You can't have?

I will say it is very sad. My life is very so thank you.

Why are you? Why are you?

Like?

Why do you want? Like you're gonna hurt him? Why are you sympathizing with him over that? Oh you can have him, you can have him. Nobody else wants him. You can literally have him.

That's true. Nobody else wants me? True? Do you want me?

Okay?

I want you?

So that he had to think about it, so like let that rest. Now, if he wanted to, he would want he would wait.

But that's not real.

Let's be real. He just doesn't want to.

He just isn't thinking about you, like let's or he.

Doesn't want to, and that goes for me, that goes for you, like we all have to disagree.

Like they want their video games, Like I'm going to be the worst. I'm going to be so fucking bad in a relationship. Like literally, I like I don't want to see my partner ever and never want to see them. I literally just want to hang out with them maybe once a week and then Also like I like buying people things, but I hate seeing them open the things that I give them, So I would like maybe get gifts and put it somewhere. I don't know.

You would get a drone that drops off.

Wait, why don't you like watching people open the gifts? Is it because like you hate?

Like I just put a reaction in my head and when I don't get that reaction, like they hate it.

Yeah, I get. I don't like people watching me open anything or like receive anything because I don't give. I don't think I give like good reactions, like because I get I literally get performance anxiety.

I'm like, well, yeah, I'm in my head.

I have to like give, like I have to jump up and click my heels thank you. And then I'm like that's too big of a reaction, and then I can't gauge what a good reaction for the gift is. So I'm just like, oh my god, thank you.

We brought kay tears with our gift.

Very small tiar I. I mean, I'm normal. Don't actually cry when normal man shouldn't do stuff like that, But men are allowed to cry?

What is it boys cry to No? Boys, boys don't cry?

Oh yeah, men shouldn't cry. What are you pussy? Or something like don't fucking cry?

Don't cry.

It was weird.

When you cried there was a small masculine tear, very small.

No, it was really, What.

The fuck is the name of that book? Is it? Boys Don't Cry?

Yeah? Men don't cry? Oh, boys don't cry. It's boys don't cry? Yeah?

Why did I think it was boys cry too? My bug? Boys cry too.

I have an open copy and an unopened copy because I want to.

I get that anxiety, the like, uh oh, let's see.

Okay, he did a naughty you did a naughty you, little naughty boy. Mom's gonna spank you. Yeah, m hm, yeah. I don't care.

I don't give a shit. Like that's the thing is, I don't fucking care.

I don't know that I care.

Like I don't care. You know what actually has been eating me alive is like, okay, we all know the world is ending, Like can we shut the fuck up about it? Like the earth is spinning faster now, like okay, shut the fuck up. I don't care. Literally, monkey poxs is happening, Okay, shut the fuck up. I don't care. I don't just shut the fuck up. I don't care.

I'm like, we need to stop telling me about things I can't fix, because it's just giving me like impending doom anxiety and like I've already been having like awful anxiety, and like the Internet is just making it like so much worse, and part of me I understand. I'm like, yes, it is good to know about things, but I'm like, at what rate?

At what costs?

Like I do not need to know everything everywhere all at once, like that I don't need to know, Like why why do I know what's happening like five thousand miles away, Like I don't, I don't care.

Enough enough.

I'm like like, no, I don't need to know that there's three new deadly diseases out to get me. But I don't also that I feel like it's out to get me, like it's it is going to happen to me. It is inevitable, inevitable that happens to me and only me, and I don't need it and I don't. I don't want to talk about it.

Like the economy is ruined, we know this, we don't care. The USD is collapsing. We don't care.

I don't know what that means, and that's okay.

I don't. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. It's like driving me fucking insane.

As long as my mama and Papa are happy, literally, like as long as that's how I gauge my reality,

I think it's like it's our responsibility to just figure out what affects us, because that's it. And yet stop, Oh all right, Drew, can now you hit me harder this time? Oh?

Was I not hard? That's good wow, okay, okay, stop, he's bleeding. He has a nosebleed.

It is so hot in here.

It's he said, it was our responsibility.

It is because this ship will never end like the But if you're mongering in the news, never.

For the rest of way will we start rewarding like happy news. Like when we stop rewarding and like giving people money for telling us that the worst thing in the world is happening right now, everybody's anxieties level, anxiety levels will go down, Like I'm yes, I need to know that the world is ending, like I'm aware of that. I need to know that climate change is a happy alarming rate.

Like what I know?

This flying jets from one end of the city to the other?

Literally, what am I like?

What is what is that?

Like my knowledge on that actually doing for anything? Here's the thing I fucking heard.

Missus Taylor invited you on the jet.

You're getting on?

No.

I literally I texted IDM Jordan and I was like, the way I'm going to infiltrate Taylor's for in group just to get on this fucking private jet that's like all over it and I want to post a picture from it. So bad like literally so bad. I think it was so funny, and then also make a documentary it like like finding Taylor's jet or something finding Taylor.

Also, with all this being said, I don't want it to come off that I'm like, we shouldn't know anything. I understand. I want to make it very clear. I understand, and I do know that like having open source news that is like more unbiased than the news stations that our fucking parents had is good. I understand that, but it's too much. And also the misinformation is kind of crazy. I'm like, now every bitch with doctor in her name is on TikTok talking to me. Miss, you're an obg y n.

Wait, I watched this documentar Why are you telling me? I watched this documentary called Our Father. That shit was fucking crazy. Have you heard of it?

Kaind No, it is.

Oh my god. I don't want to spoil it because I want everybody to go into it with like fresh eyes.

Know it was.

It was really.

The Mormon documentary.

Yes, I need to watch that.

We should watch that after this. Yeah, but I have to play Fortnite, so like.

I'll go to the smoke shop, get the bong, you play Fortnite.

Yeah, happy birthday, And we're filming this on Devon's birthday. And that even that like doesn't clarify it at all, like us being like we have to go get the bong first, and then oh, happy birthday Devon.

Yeah, Well that's a little secret for us to get.

That's inside, that's insider trading secrets. Fuck oh Okay, I have to squash this before it like gets too crazy. But whoever is starting the rumor that I give like the best head in the Greater Los Angeles area, in the tri Say area needs to stop, not because it's not true, but just because that puts like an immense amount of pressure on me.

And then like yeah, because then when I like I already like have to carry the burden of giving really good head and that being like a known thing within my life, we circle, we.

Have had so many conversations like I'm actually fucking tearing up about it right now because it's just like it really is hard that you have to live with the throat goat like you are the throat goat, and now that people know.

It, it's so it's scary much pressure, Like I don't know what to do with it, And honestly, it gives me performance anxiety because now going into the ring and I'm like, oh my god, okay, like is my hair up?

Like am I good? Are my chains like tucked?

Like so they're not like like you're good? And every time you freak out about it, you come out the other side and you're like damn, like that was that was better?

Than the last.

You know, like I know, I know, but yeah, you guys have to stop it because like also, like so many people are like trying to like tap in, and it's just like I'm like I'm booked. I'm like literally too busy to like get anybody else on the great No, no, I actually can't. Then, like I genuinely thought about that, I was gonna.

Go on like a nasty ramp, but like, no, he's not fucking I know it. I know for a fact.

There there is like a picture of like a guy who like has the similar build to him, who's like has his back turned to the camera and his butt naked, and like I was again, I was like, dude, one, Drake is like a big man, but like not in the way that I find a big man attractive. He's like a bigger man in the sense I'm like, ill.

You like work out yourself so much.

I'm like, that's so embarrassing. You work out and you like stay in the mirror, ye get a grip, get a grip.

Well that's literally that's literally me. Now I'm like becoming that I like look at myself in the mirror and like I'm like.

When I go to workout classes. I do my very best to not look in the mirror look at that, because it freaks me out.

It's crazy, how big I am, like, it's crazy.

Fucking you did not hear a word that you just said. Huh, you're just like looking at your own body and then we're not here. Yeah, let me see your biceps, Keith Fox, pull those out. Damn mad that. I feel like you guys's biceps are like similar size.

Honestly, Oh, you made him mad? Like why are you so mad being compared to a woman, Like why is that? Why?

Why is it even bad?

Wow?

Wow?

What does he do?

Is he crying?

Drew?

No, No, he walked in there and he was smiling, and then I looked over and he put on like a fake sad face.

Come on, you got a fucking water filoster and kept squirting me with it. Yesterday I was doing the laun tree. Yeah, he was squirting, yes, yeah, and I slipped in it and I fell and I broke my two front tas.

I can't tell.

It feels pretty like it's powerful.

It hurts me really bad. It makes me bleed, like floss makes me bleed.

I need that, maybe because I think I flost too aggressively. I'm like a really aggressive like. Also, I'll squash it right now, because everybody has always wondered why did I take out my fucking uh smiley piercing. I took it out because since I got like a really big one, jurors hitting a jewel right now and he's embarrassed, so

Yeah, I'm good. You're just like, oh no, I was just like stretching my neck.

What are you stretching your neck for?

What do you think? True? What we do after every episode?

Say it?

Don't say it?

I throw out of you in the back of the apartment. Well, and he's playing Fortnite and has no idea what's going on?

Why would you tell her that?

Yeah, I didn't need to know that. Now you're gonna fuck with my game because I'm gonna be playing and be scared for my life that that's what you guys are doing.

Oh look, one of my hairs is in the.

Mic cool ending to an episode.

Like what just happens?

It's not over until it's not over till I say it's over. Me and Ryan are so Lana del Rey Vinyl vibes.

You know what.

I actually won't even say what we wait, bitch.

Deal Ray.

I can't even say what we've been getting into because me and Ryan were talking about it and like I was like, na because we were also granted crossfaded when we were talking about this. I was like, not as sounding like every fucking friends group, who's like, no, we need a movie, like we need a show. But I do want us to like start writing down the things we do because me and O'Ryan are like, this is again.

Jiff Reblug, I cannot believe at the same time you were living your Lona del Ray fantasy, I was also doing it and it was not like talked about between us. But I was sitting in my school parking lot listening to.

I know I wasn't talked about because I thought I was gonna date you.

No, no, no, I mean like this past few days.

I think when we were teenagers, I was like, girl, I know why. I didn't think you were a lot of fans like I can.

Name no, no, no, I we were living Orlana del Ray fantasies at the same time.

Oh yeah, this past the past few.

Days and it was lit I like freaked out in the parking. I was like, holy shit, this is the best album ever made.

Simply Born to Die. Yeah, And honestly, Ultra Violence are like you can't, you.

Can't, Pete, don't compete where you don't compare.

Also, I've said it once and I'll side again, true or true Romance by Charlie. I always almost say chemical Romance. It's true Romance by Charlie XCX that album. Are you fucking kidding me?

Like it like it dies?

No one compared to you. This only oh my god, oh wake up from miss and night? Oh god, wait? No, Like the thing is I remember when I was I've said this also before. I'm just repeating, Shit, I don't give a fuck fuck you, fuck you and your mom, and you're fucking ugly and you smell like fuck it's sweaty, pussing balls far.

Yeah.

But I remember when I was like seventeen and I would see like twenty five year olds talking about like, oh.

My god, like I miss being like a teenager. There was just something so like sweet about that, and I was like, grow the fuck up. You are so fucking weird. What the fuck are you talking about right now? As if I don't listen to old music, and I'm.

Like, what, Like, I actually I would rather fucking die two times over than be fifteen again because it was genuinely like the worst time in my life and so boring. But the feelings, the feelings, because they.

Were all so new, It was so rough, real, it was all happening and the world wasn't ending yet.

Yeah. Also, to be fair, like I say that right now as if I don't think back to being like twenty, and I feel like that about being twenty, So like I'm just literally like I am one of those people, which I feel like most people our age are now, where like I cannot enjoy the now for the goddamn fucking life of me, Like I cannot. It's rare. I'm in a moment and I'm like, no, that's kind of a lie. Like I find myself being grateful for being in moments, but I enjoy things so much better at

There was like seven months where I was like, oh, like I'm like living in the moment, this is the best life ever. I like am so grateful for everything that I have. And then like in the last like two months, like for some reason, I have been like

I'm like, oh no, And what's sadness. It's not even a care in the way that like I would like for it to be a care. It's a care in a way that like I feel impending doom and not

What was that?

What was that? Like I was being crazy? But yeah, so I'll be seeing as I'll let you guys know what I'm told. I don't know why I said all that. Now I feel like I overshared.

We need to do a drunk episode, I know, or and also a high episode.

I don't know that I'm that interesting like drunk though, Like I don't know if I say anything like necessarily funny yeah or hi, oh my god, bitch. Hi, I just like I am the bitch who's like, I'm so giggly right now. I'll never forget one time I was smoking with a guy I liked. Tell me why we were watching We were watching funny videos. Bitch, fuck you, he was a fucking cunt. Yeah, we were laying down watching videos and we had just smoked and I was high as fucking giggling my ass off.

Tell me why.

He deadpan turns to me and is like, why are you laughing so much? Like literally, like what like you You're like, you got way too high because this is not that funny.

You're high right now?

And then yes, I did have sex with him twenty minutes later, you're so high, But honestly, like, that's just that's the joy of being a young twenty something having sex with a fucking loser. That's that's honestly. We all gotta get through it. We all gotta get through it. Me not me, But yeah, I'll never forget that. That was so human.

Actually, every person I've ever had sex with is a loser. Cut it. You need to cut it, dude.

Being personal online makes me so uncomfortable. Now, I get so scared.

That's how we built our audiences though I know, but.

I've talked about it before. But yeah, oh, actually you know what to make up for all the cuts?

Do you?

Actually? This is such a sexually based question, and I'm always like, why do so many sex burns reach out to us? And this is why I think sixty nine is one of the like biggest fucking Well, you're the one who brought up earlier, but it had me thinking I mentioned this in my video and I didn't explain it correctly, but like sixty nine is the biggest scam of all time?

Like to me?

To me like that is like I think, why the fuck would I want to be putting in work like I enjoy doing that job? Like I'll like like I've been I've been given a promotion to the captain of the ship, Like I am good at the job. Bitch, I don't want to clock in when you're clocking in because I'm like, what the fuck is the fuck? Like, No, I don't like, I don't agree with it. I think it is a scam. Can I just lay down, bitch? Please? Can I?

Can? I?

Can I live?

Can I fucking live? And that's my Yes, I love it. It's fun.

No, I don't have fun. I don't have fun. I'm like, I want to have fun on my that let me, let's see what this mattress feels like on my back right now that I'm oversharing so crazy.

One last thing that I wanted to well, there's two technically, but I'm only gonna share one. But in Texas or just literally anywhere, like, but I noticed it happening a bunch in Texas. I would like, like whether I was at the movies, or we were walking around the mall with my sister, or like we were at a restaurant or something. I get intints like intin like visceral fear in my body when I see like a group of like sixteen year old seventeen year olds, fourteen year olds

Yeah I was a fucking bastard. Yeah I didn't give a fun.

Literally and I have no reason too. It's like, yeah, like, what are you gonna hit me? I'm sixteen years old, but I will hit a sixteen year old. I don't give a up. I am sixteen years.

Yeah, you are gonna say you are sixteen, so it's a fair fights.

I'll be sixteen forever. Yeah, but no, like I will hit a sixteen year old.

They're just fucking evil. Like I'm not kidding my people. Thirteen sixteen or like the worst. I was the worst version of myself.

Yeah, literally in my teen years. The one of the reasons why that like popped up into my fucking head was because we were in Walmart, me and Madelin and Steve and and we were getting what were we fucking getting? Oh, we went for your PS five but they didn't fucking have it. But we were like walking around the Walmart in grand Berry and I love that place. It's my sanctuary.

I I was gonna say, like, I haven't heard any crazy TikTok audios, but I can only imagine that there's a side that's it's like fucking.

Four chance, Yeah, exactly, That's what it felt like. So then like the kids walked away and started like like laugh like laughing really loud at the end of the hall, and Madam walked out of frame. I walked out a frame and it was just Stephen, And then I felt bad for just being Steven, so I like walked back in frame and like got big in the camera or whatever. And then like I thought about it more and I was like, Okay, I whatever, this is, like I do

I wish I was there because I would have been such a fucking cun to them. I would have broken their dude. And there were two there were fourteen year old I would have fucking broken there were two girls with him, fucking evil.

No, there were two girls with him that like were calling us like crazy names, and I was like, dude, this is crazy. I am literally being bullied and hate crimed in Walmart right now, Like this is crazy. Like I wish i'd heard the audio before I deleted the video, but like I was so scared, so I just deleted it and walked.

Would you look up em on TikTok? No, I'll do it.

It's so grave. You're so great that no, I doubt. It's like I don't know.

I don't thing you get fine by looking that up. I bet I think you have to be on like the scary pipeline of technoo.

Yeah, all right, what is it?

All?

Right?

Side?

All right pipeline? Yeah, my fucking little wiener. That's terrifying it. I would beat the fuck out of them. Kids are so mean, they're getting progressively more.

Mean because of shit like it's being rewarded.

Crazy how like TikTok is really a reward system for being fucking evil because everyone's trying to get top comment for being a fucking cunt, which is crazy because it's also one of the platforms where people are so quick to like jump down someone's throat and like play the

Y'all be like ha ha ha. I mean literally, any video we post the top comment, like which I don't give a ship because I know it's coming from any place, But like, there are people that see these top comments about me being like a fucking freak or something, yeah, and like being and thinking it serious and like enjoying that, which I literally don't give a shit, but like for like the random local that like posts a TikTok that gets one hundred and fifty thousand likes, like, and then

TikTok still wins.

All right, let's check.

That's such a crazy story, Like why did that make me so mad?

It freaked me out literally body.

Slam a child if they acted like that with me, and you can quote me on that. Oh, Brian's gonna be like, hey, like we don't know if we want to work with her, because recently in a podcast episode, she said that she would body slam a child, and like, that's kind of fucked up. Remember when it was like top tier comedy to talk about how you wanted to like literally squish kids the bottom of your foot.

Like, what was I doing like July tenth through the seventh seventeenth on iPhone? I guess no, it looks like it's an hour and fifty two minutes, Like, look, this is twenty three minutes, twenty one minutes, eleven minutes, sixteen minutes. I've never done that. Was I like camping or something?

July kind of after fourth of July? Where were you?

I don't know.

I think you were here. You were here?

Damn I'm lit. I was only on my phone for twenty three minutes. But what was last week? Last week was bad?

That same mine?

Yeah, last week was bad?

Damn me?

Getting had two hours on TikTok, three hours on TikTok. Damn Yeah, my average was eight hours last week when I was in Texas's but it always turns up when I go to Texas because I like do nothing else.

Mine is probably crazy because I was home alone and freaking out.

Yeah.

Mine was seven hours and fifteen minutes. I dedicated thirty eight hours of my last week of last week to social media.

Forty one for me.

We could get that number up.

I think I need to get it up.

I think we should get that up.

I think if it's up, it's stuck.

I've heard that for I think my grandma used to say that.

Your grandma, I used to say that, what does that mean?

It's up and then it stuck?

It means when it's up, it's also no.

I think she was referring to fucking like no. I think she was referring to literally like money. Oh, because I remember I used to think.

I think we've had this conversation on the podcast before. How we actually yeah? And then I googled it and then.

I like read, I'm never talking to you but again before we end.

Someone uploaded a compilation of me getting hit on the podcast, and then people think it's real.

It is real?

Don't people know that it's real? And in the comments people are like, no, personally, I wouldn't. I wouldn't take that.

Oh, I'm so sure. I'm so sure, andiel be like everybody is so annoying me included, Like people are like I would never bitch, Yes, you would, because I would put up with anything.

M h.

We give Kai lots of love and y'all are jealous. That's true, and you have.

To you have to make that love worthwhile by if you were sitting in that chair, you would want me to hit you too.

Dude. There's so many things that the podcast, like there's just such a lore that like people outside of it, like the video of you dead on the concrete, Like the amount of comments I saw where it was like this girl is.

So fucked up.

Her friend really could have died, but like people being and then people were like, no, that's literally like his like best friend, Like it's like not that, and people were like, people were like, m my best friend would never I.

Was talking about this, I was like, dude, the Lord, like becoming a new fan of us, like is probably like the scariest task to like climb.

What what if I just.

Scratch, Like.

I'd fucking squirt right onto you.

Damn really Okay, as as you're like hand.

Goes down, like the squirt would increase into like fire hydrant status.

Of like water.

Sure, but I was like becoming like having to sift through like the cousin dating allegations, like and like being like wait, are they actually dating? Like that's something every single person has to go through. It's like are they actually cousins? Are they actually dating? Yes?

Yes, and yes yeah, and it can say like that.

You know.

What's crazy to think about is like there's definitely people who are like that's funny. But like, like I wonder if we would ever be in a relationship, like a romantic relationship outside of us, in our open relationship, if like our other like partner would be like no, I don't fuck with that.

Like, well, Kai doesn't really like enjoy like us.

He doesn't care.

I mean he like gets mad sometimes.

About them, but like it's self control.

Yeah, It's like it's also like, oh, he knows it's a joke, and when we have sex and make love to each other, it's just a joke.

Yeah, it's just like, well we have to keep it up. We have to keep up that to.

Keep the bit. Yeah, but no, actually I feel like there will be a moment when someone is like I don't know if I like that.

Yeah, I think there's like certain lines like we don't cross or like we don't like to talk. Like I almost did something this episode, but I didn't do it, mostly because I was like on camera that would look crazy, Like it would look crazy. But you know, like one of the episodes where I got down and I was like, let me get that, Like I almost did it again, but like put my hair up and was like grab it, like just all my hair. And then I was like thinking about what that would look like from the back,

Yeah, but that's like shit we do off camera though.

Yeah, like it is insane the amount. But I think I've said that before too, Like we have friends who see the way our friend group interacts and they're like, I've never seen people talk about sex like so much.

So much.

What's crazy is we talk about sex but never seriously, like yeah, and when it does get serious, I feel like those conversations are usually like short winded and they don't like we're just like not the kind of group to like talk in depth about our sex life. To an extent with like like, I literally don't know how to have those conversations.

Yeah.

No, I've kept a secret for so long that I literally just don't talk about it.

Yeah, and then when you do, like it feels like I'm hearing like a fictional story.

So I'm like, I don't know what I told kaya is something the other day and he was like, you need to do you remember that that those voice notes where and you were like, dude, you need to like write this down. This is crazy.

Oh yeah, that one, that one story.

Yeah, I want to it was good.

Did you save the audio messages? I think he did, because I don't think I saved.

No, I didn't save that.

You don't have your audio message on like automatic save. No, I saved everything, So don't say anything out of pocket to me.

They were words shared that wasn't allowed to be saved.

I had it on automatic save. But then I've had people multiple times be like, dude, why did you just save that because it says like a notification. Yeah, yeah, was saved, and it seems very deliberate, and I was like, I'm turning this off. I don't want people to think I'm like collecting.

You said, that to my phone. That's mine, mine, about his mine now?

But yeah, it was just like that I had that. I told kay, but I've probably told you about it.

Let me get something, you give it to everybody she's perrying, all right, well let's do media.

Yeah, okay. So in Texas I saw the movie Vengeance, which has the guy from the Office in it, and I went into it thinking it's gonna be like an awful movie, and like the opening to the movie has John Mayer like talk like browing down, and I was like, this is gonna be bad, Like this is gonna be really bad John Mayer. Yeah, And then it like turned into like a very very beautiful movie about like what she's making this insane face about. I can do it again about I'll just watch the clip back.

You can use that against them. Have you seen that audio?

Sorry, Joe. It was just like a very beautiful movie about like, uh shit, ask nowhere Texas culture, which I've never seen. Yeah, I've just never seen like Texas portrayed or like spoken about in a way that like wasn't coming from a place of like making fun of Texas people, which like, yes, like we're fucking crazy, and like it's

I don't think I've watched Teddy movies or anything. I'm still just playing Fortnite and oh I started Girls and that's a really good chow.

You've been slashing it? Did you still sash it when I was gone?

Oh?

I only watched it when I'm with Oryan.

That's cute.

I like watch it together. But my media is so, there's this artist called alex G. I don't know what the letter stands for, but you guys should definitely tap in alex Alex Gay.

Do not listen to Alex G. Have y'all heard of Alex G?

No?

Have you wait? Have you actually not heard of him?

No?

I've never heard of him.

Oh he's popping on TikTok.

Stop staring at me.

He kaind of gives these loving stairs that are almost like too much.

Sometimes he like furls his brows and he.

Like and he plays with himself a little. Okay. My media of the week is Dress You Up by Madonna. The Duke is Gone by Chuck Sendric I just died.

Amazing podcast. Take him down so they can see regular.

International player ANDTHEMB I've said that before and I'll say it again. Runner by Alex G. West End Girls by Pet Shop Boys, This Hour the Sunday, I Love You Was Forever Donna Lewis Looking playlist, Suck my Balls, Bitch.

Okay, so I got We have to hurry.

Because I have to play Fortnite. I know they updated the chop art.

I Got on a Mountain by Danny L. Harrel, I've got video games by Lana del Rey, West Coast by Lena del Rey, Dark Paradise by Lana del Rey. And then we'll just give you one base Down Low by dev I like my beats fast and my base down. Hey, alright bye, It's you, It's you and everything. It's for emergency in