Enya Had A Cream Dream About Drew

Okay, audio is rolling.

Hey you said that, and then you like pressed in your earbuds.

And I know, the wax fucking smushed and like stuffed for a second.

Then pop back out.

I have clean ears.

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Josie is blocking my good life. But that's okay because it doesn't.

Matter because I look good regardless. You literally are.

You have a gun in your hand. He literally has a gun in his hand, and it's like, actually, oh you're lucky.

That was that easy for you. Okay, Well, this episode, I have something to admit right.

Off the bat.

The one thing about me that's not hygienic, as hygienic as a person as I am.

A lot of you freaks I know has noticed that I don't.

Have all my earrings in my ear because you're a freaking you probably look at my ears and you want to literally stick your finger.

I do have an ear kink, but.

I don't take out my earrings nearly enough and wash them, so my ear lobes do be smolling like pussy co box.

You know, I didn't see the ear rings in one of my shotglasses in the kit's.

Ear and no I didn't put it a shot glass.

It was a plastic yeah, And I saw like the water had gotten cloudy from it being because.

I put like alcohol.

It's funny that you had a hygiene note, because somewhere in here, I think I have a hygiene note.

That's the one thing about me.

Okay, y'all need to stop interacting because we're literally trying to like do our service to the people, and obviously you don't find that like a respectable thing, and you think it's funny to interrupt us when this I'm.

Saving lives right now. What are you doing? You're fiddling your fucking thumbs and playing with your ball.

There's a lot of people where.

You can't put that in fry. Motherfucker, you have to blur of that.

Thanks Trisarah, thank you so much.

Work now you got to give him a different kind of load to eat.

So I literally just woke up. I'm like read booting. I ate KFC Hot Chicken, Nashville Hot Chicken, and it actually like it didn't make me feel like shit, but it gave me narcolepsy and I had to literally just go and.

Fall literally when I saw you eating hours like you know you're not supposed to be doing.

You literally can't have a meal before we work. It's like unrich.

But I had to today because we started late because I had a workout session that I slept in for.

You look beautiful today, by the way, really, what about me? Come on?

You look gorgeous to.

Okay, it was slow, but I'll take it.

Yeah, you look gorgeous too. But I mean in those pictures that Zamar took from Mason's brand, I looked really good.

You did look sexy in them.

I was like, damn, eat my fucking broken hair at the top though I hate.

It so much, it's because of the caps too, So you just got to get a hair cut and stop wearing your hats because it's the hats making the break it.

I think what it also is is when I wash my hair it's vine or when I dry my hair it's like violent, like I'm concussing myself, Like.

You gotta get a There's a microfiber towel specifically also for curly hair, and I used to use one, but I like refuse.

To let my hair dry. I blow drop my hair now. I tried to do it today because I was like, your hair stay in the car and I was like, you know what.

I should let my inspired by my hair.

Yeah, And I was like, I should let my curly hair live. And then like I saw like.

The especially because these since these are so short, they were like doing the thing where they curl up a lot. And I was like.

It was it was giving every girl that saw those photos of me, We're like, damn, Like he has like really luscious hair and I.

Want to pull it off his fucking head and beat.

Him into the ground and I want to steal his hair.

Y'all need to stop playing because it's pissing me off.

I can't get that's crazy.

Yeah, because we don't pay attention to ki and now you're making us do it and it's like a lot.

But you were talking about hygiene and I did write something down. I wrote a thought down that I had and I was like, Okay, of all the things that I choose not to spend money on, like I am very a very frugal person, I do not spend my money.

Do you wash your hair a lot? I was thinking of that today.

At the gym.

No, I washed my hair after the gym, but I don't.

I washed my hair at.

The gym, and I was like, how does you use the shampoo conditioner? Because it was probably some of the worst like hair products I've used a lot.

I just use a shampoo I don't use. In this year, I used the conditioner twice and I was like, dude, this shit, it's like really weird. It's like super liquidy. And I also thought about it, and I was like, if I was a demon, I would put nair or LSD or come inside of the public shampoo conditioner and body washes and ruin people's lives. But I'm not a freak, but I did have that thought. I was like, there is a freak that has thought about doing that before and probably has.

Oh yeah, I'm sure there's somebody who is a king for like the idea of that, and like has done it. Which you're going to hell and you're gonna burn for all of eternity and there's no coming back from that. But like, let's be clear, my ears like don't smell in the way that if you like the odor.

Sucking on my neck, you're not gonna smell the fort box radio.

But when I like touched my ears, when I have all my earrings in and I give it a whiff, it do be smelling like undertoe. Oh And that's my admission, not the not the main hole, just my tiny holes.

But I mean when I'm around you in your presence, sometimes I do get a whiff of like this mentality.

That actually might be your stinky fucking hair like getting in your face.

No, dude, Oh my god, we ate that ice cream from McDonald's last night and I was so exhausted and I was like, dude, I need to go to bed. I need to go bed, So I just brushed my teeth and that was it. And when I was laying in bed, I was like just getting this smell and I was like, what is that smell? And I had ice cream in my mustache? And you know what I did. I didn't wake up and go and wash my mustache. I just went to bed.

No, that kind of stuff freaks me out.

Last night, I really had to pee, and but I fell asleep holding of zul very cutely, and I didn't want.

To get up. But then I fell asleep for like tye minutes and I woke up because I was like, I'm gonna piss everywhere. But that's why I need diapers. I just want to start sleeping in diapers so I could piss myself.

Yeah, for the first time in my entire life, in my entire life, I had to wake up two times to go pee in the middle of the night. And it wasn't last night. It was the night before the barbecue. And I have literally no idea why that happened, because I normally just wake up in the morning and just like literally like like piss. The most piss I've ever exacorated from my body. You've heard my morning piss, Like that shit is loud and thick, like girthy piss.

My morning piss is viscous. There's like a lemonade stirrup.

Yeah, it's like caramel.

But what was I gonna say?

Oh, when I sleep with other people, that's I feel like I'm more prone to waking up in the middle of night and going pee. And when I sleep alone, I never wake up to go.

It's that anxiety about pissing yourself with other people in your bed.

Like, but I think I've said before I have pissed myself a little bit when I was in bed next to someone before.

Oh yeah, Like I like literally I and it wasn't even a laugh or anything.

I just woke up in the middle of the night and I was like, oh my god, I literally pissed myself.

Wait, isn't that hilarious? How Like there's these little embarrassing things that like every human does that, Like all of us like to ignore that. We we act like we all don't do them, but we all do them in private. Like everybody has pissed their pants like or pissed the bed like, but no one talks about it. And there's like these little things that like people, everyone does but

I am saying this with the utmost privilege because I genuinely do think it's like a blessing in my life. But so many times I have micro pissed myself from laughing so hard.

But like I always like say, I'm like, dude, I'm literally like pissing myself. I need to get up and go.

Like when I'm at a table with my friends, John Mulaney had a really I think I've literally said exactly this, but I was listening to the podcast.

He was, if you don't see if I'm gonna smack the fuck.

Out of calling all the last streatment in twenty twenty two?

Should I do it? Should I do it too?

Because like I don't know if a gay person doing it, like it's the like, yir oh.

Okay, now we have to take a break. It's gonna be like a thirty minute thing.

I mean, like, don't put yourself in a position to like have the truth told to you.

Literally look at your shirt, Like, how are you gonna do that with that shirt on your head?

Is kind of cut out.

I know the entire episode, but you just don't take me into account.

But you were sleeping.

I was passed away, and you know it's crazy? Is I sleep fully clothed now? Like I'm back on my bullshit. I like go to bed like in a full outfit, and then I rise and I'm good, and I sleep with the lights on. I will fall asleep with the lights.

Hate it.

It drives me crazy because then I'll go in to turn it off and he's like no, I'm like, why don't you.

Let me turn them off?

You fucking freak light On the opposite tip, I stopped sleeping naked because one time my friend sent me this.

Is gonna come.

Oh, I don't give a fuck, but if the earth is shattering, Like I don't get a fuck that I'm naked, but like, who's gonna look at me?

No?

No, because like if if the earthquake comes and you're fully naked and you have to like run outside and you're like ass naked and you have to like cover up, like or like the house collapses on top of you, and like they're digging through the rubble and you're already embarrassed to be inside the rubble, and then they find you in your ass snakes, they're gonna be like, oh my god, this.

Girl is so hot.

So I'll give like the workers a little boner, would sweet, like they need that, the rescue team needs a little alleviation from like the terror that is the apocalypse to my tits, so that you could get a little.

Pundge going, what but what the.

Fuck was I saying, motherfucker earthquake?

Oh?

I stopped sleeping naked because someone sent me a TikTok that was.

Like, oh, when you fart in your sleep when you're naked, you just be living little poop particles in your fucking sheets and then you cover your fucking bed and poop particles.

And then it was like a joke, but I took it really serious because you know, like me, I'm a freak, and I'm like.

Oh my god, I can't take my clean bed dirty, but I'd be fucking on my bed like what like poop particles, Like, bitch, they're sweat and square all over that thing. Like unless I wash it, like it's whatever, it's bound to get party Yeah.

We had that conversation the other day, like I'm okay with people having sex in my bed because like a little sex.

We were talking about would you rather someone like pee in your bed?

No it wasn't it was in your bed or like, and I was like sex.

Yeah, Rather, I'd rather you get a little calm on my sheets and piss in my mattress.

Yeah, Like it stays the sheets.

Like I can wash it if you score on my sheets, it's like unless you like.

And it also smells fucking good, and like you get to just leave it in there and lay in it.

And it gets a little crispy.

So when I'm falling asleep and I like can't fall asleep, I can start like picking at it with my nails.

Oh yeah, I have something that I'll play with, Yeah, like peeling it off like Elmer's glue, like off your skin. Yeah yeah, you do that, shets.

But I'm back to sleeping naked because then I saw another TikTok that I was a gynocologist talking about how important it is to let your fucking cootie rama breathe, and I was like, dude, yeah, that's literally why I used to sleep naked all the time is because my cootie to breathe, So I'm back on that tip.

And then I used to like I go on and off because someone tells.

Me something that gives me like intense anxiety and then I can't not think about it because I used to originally sleep naked, but then my mom was like, what if someone breaks in or like a fire happens, you have to run out of the house and you're naked. But now I'm at the point where I'm like, bitch, I'll throw on my skins robe and I'll like keep it pushing, like what.

Like I.

Like zoned out because I was like you and I was like, oh, I'm doing really good with eye contact right now, And then I thought that my fucking personal trainer literally yesterday was like, you're really fucking bad at looking me in your eye in the eyes, but your

I don't think he's interpreted.

I can't make eye contact with people I really want to have sex with.

That's why you have trouble looking at me.

That is not the case.

That's the only way I know I can have sex with someone is if I can maybe you can eye contact with you.

No, if it's somebody i'm at talking to, that like makes me nervous, so I don't look at them.

But I don't think that I'm like.

That good at eye contact. But maybe I am. I think I am like kind of really good at it. So we're speaking to someone new at at that barbecue, and I was like staring her in the eyes while I was talking to her, and I had to like tell myself to not stare so deeply in her eyes. But sometimes, like my eye contact isn't true eye contact. It's literally me disassociating looking through you.

But my eyes just so happen to be landing on your face.

You're good at making it, Like I notice pretty soon into knowing you that you're very good at making everyone in the room feel like you're talking to them, which not many people do. Honestly, it's usually like I I don't think we've ever made eye contact.

I think it's literally because I'm insecure about the idea of somebody feeling left out. Like I hate when I'm in a conversation with people and like the quiet person feels left out because I don't know.

That makes me really sad. It's like I don't like the nice girl I put it.

You know in high school when there were those fucking freak ass motherfuckers who like wouldn't eat but would sit with you while you and your friends are eating, and like you would offer them something to eat and they're like no, I'm like, actually not hungry.

I'm like, bitch, well shit, damn, damn, damn.

I feel like nobody does that.

Damn.

Especially in LA. I feel like people will zone in on like one person or two people max. But it's very rare to have someone like include everyone proactively in a conversation.

Yeah, you'll heard it here, You'll heard it here first.

I mean, look, you have two hundred thousand people on the hook.

I'm literally like, my diva cup is like pressing up against my colon right now.

Does it kind of feel good?

No? It like hurts.

You need me to get in there?

Yeah, I need you to get in there.

Okay, Well I was thinking Joe Biden's sc me the same way Michael Jackson scares me. Does that make sense?

Joe Biden, I'm not kidding, is like not real, like and I like, that's that's my todmit like, I'm not.

Kidd Has anyone ever actually seen Joe Biden in person?

Olivia Rodrigo, we got to talk about.

That was not real. That was a psychological operation. I don't think anybody watching this has seen Joe Biden in person. There's no way.

Yeah.

Well yeah, because you bitches are seeing the president.

He's like in a live Madam twisodes.

Yes, he's full of saw.

We need to talk about it. They turned those bitches out quick.

Now How they got bad Bunny, Billie Eilish, and Anita all in the same month. They used to take them like eight years to.

John Travolta got his after twenty five years.

Yeah.

Now they turned them out like fucking like pancakes.

Them or something.

Literally, you you saw that, Yeah? Yeah, like John Travolta is his wax.

Figures make them so fast.

Now.

Oh, also, I need to get a grip because like I I'm literally so embarrassed. I find everything so fucking embarrassing. Like Sky joking when she said everything is embarrassing, Like, no, that is so embarrassing.

Everything is embarrassing.

Like I don't so hard to explain that to my personal trainer after he called me a freak for not mean contact, I was like, no, like you don't understand, like working out is humiliating. I can't do it.

No, That's what I just said to the trainer I was working with that one time. I was like, this is embarrassing. I'm like, it is so humiliating that humans have gotten to the point that we are replicating labor so that we can like be in shape because we don't have to Like physical labors would be like picking up bricks and stacks.

And carrying three hundred But no, now I'm.

In the gym like with a three pound weight, like huffing and puffing because I'm on my back, and I'm like like that is so embarrassing.

Well, your only job is a woman is to carry your child.

Yeah, true?

And then I like push myself too hard at the gym because I'm like trying to prove a point and it's like I was watching now I'm embarrassing myself because I'm trying so hard.

Literally, like that trainer put like a forty.

Pound like weight on my hips and I was sitting there doing weight thrust with like it was like the bar was forty and each thing was five. So I was doing it with like a fifty pound thing and like it was literally excruciating, and I still went.

Through and did it because I was too embarrassed to say.

Like, and I hurt my workout in particular. It is extremelyma idea.

It is.

I know that when I was doing pilates today, it was like pulsing, like my hips up and I'm like, I'm literally fucking something right now. Like I'm literally like I am practicing my stamina so I can like thrust into drew later.

It's easy. Yeah, it's easy. But yeah that there's like a machine that replicates that movement where there's a belt around you. And like the third the third one I did that I had to do that.

You are too embarrassed. You are too embarrassed the first time you like kidd.

And you go and he goes so like he doesn't like so and he like froze. It's so nad.

You want to come bounce on this lap girl.

He wants to be in this episode. You're not getting it. You're not getting an episode.

Baby, Come to daddy, Baby, come on, come on, baby.

Hey, hey you Oh my god, hey.

You're really good at it.

Oh, oh my god, but you always my god, he only do this.

Oh it like helps.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh oh, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

If you touch me again.

I'm gonna figure that butt.

Girl.

I just stopped talking like that because at the gym, Drew got on the StairMaster and his ass was right to my face and out, I'm a figure of that butt.

And there was like this sixty eight year old man sweating his ass off on his soul cycle bicycle that looked over and broke neck. What are you doing?

I was trying to get photos of Oh my god.

No.

When I was looking over at you, I wanted to like, I was like trying to take pictures and stuff, but your trainer was there and we hadn't.

Met you, and I was like, he's gonna weird.

Did the guy I've had a session with I still haven't made eye contact with and I want so badly to just break the tension.

Uh, the gym gives you a fucking.

Free like training session with a train, and I did it, and I just like did it because I got a free session. But I don't want a trainer, Like I just want to do classes in my little workout and like have fun and be a girl.

But I just basically ghosted my trainer.

And now it's like this insanely awkward thing of like not making eye contact with this human and I want so bad that to just be like, hey, by the way, just to make it clear, like I just didn't want to do I don't want.

To be so uncomfortable for me because he knows we're like friends, and so I still haven't made that.

I know, even when I was talking to your personal trainer because they know each other, I was like, oh, this is so awkward me.

He asked me every fucking time, really, every time he's like does and You're like I want to work with him? Who is just her trainer? Like all this shit, and I'm like, no, she doesn't want a trainer. It's okay.

I don't want to work it out with anybody. I want to work it out with myself.

Was sticking the gun in his ass.

Josie needs attention, like so bad that it's like irrational, like get a grip and get a therapist.

Track.

It's like we're working right, I know.

You know she's not working hard enough.

Just say says that he has a therapist.

This is something I wrote when I was I wrote this at two fifty two am. I think I was driving. I don't know where I was driving at two fifty two.

Am, sleep driving what?

But it actually pisses me off because it is so accessible to make things now that anybody can make a song. This was like voice to text. I don't think it picked me up. It actually pisses me off. But then I get to thinking and I'm like, damn, I'm so full of myself because I think I know what good music is and what's not. And then I come back to reality and I realized that's the truth and half the bitches on the radio shouldn't be there because I listened to the radio and it scares me.

Wow, Oh, I'll.

Play the song that I heard on the road.

It was actually fucking This is the song that made me have such a visceral.

It's the craziest song I've ever heard in my life.

Legitimately, Yeah, I feel like an Ai made that.

No, dude, that's what it feels like.

It literally feels like now like it's just like everybody who I hear on the radio. What was also freaking me out was that was number twenty seven on the top thirty voted in by listeners to that station, and twenty nine was massive by Drake, And I'm like, you mean to tell me that in the city of.

Los Angeles people voted that song up more than a Drake song, And that was freaking me out.

When I see that, though, I'm like, who's listening to the radio at this point? Whoever's voting for like radio stuff probably has way more weight than they did in like the nineties, right, It's.

Like for every one person that votes, two inner thousand voted literally in the nineties, and now it's like fifty eight people vote.

There's like, I don't know.

It just scares me because I'm like, dude, because there is so much.

Music and like I will like look up these people and they have like six hundred k monthly listeners and I'm like, who.

Are these people.

But then I get to think of and I'm like, there's so many people, and it's like the classic conversation that we were having one time. It's like about clothing, consumption and style, where I'm like, I find this one specific kind of style of clothing or like fashion or like music or movie unbearable and obnoxious. But really I am the lesser because that is like what is like mainly consumed by the general public, and in reality, I'm the freaking I'm full of myself and I'm crazy.

This thing to most humans sounds.

Good, but then that freaks me out too, because why did humans decide to like start banging on.

Stuff and like making noise.

It's so him cause vibrations control everything everything.

Vibrations do be controlling me.

Yes, Drake, one.

Of my wingbots died, so I've been using the one.

I don't like that much because I'm too like I just like in the daytime, I don't think to go charge it, and then I pick it up and it does the really sad like one like and then it like dies.

My tooth thrush does that. I finger in myself with my tooth.

Oh, I've been working on emergency or come merge. I just wanted to tell you guys before it's out.

Wait, you're making merch. We already did merch.

Yeah, I'm making like another item if you are interested.

It a vibrator.

No, it's a flashlight for like Drew's mouth.

Oh love my mouth? Yeah, how did you get the fucking mold?

Yeah?

What?

I like did this thing where I like scanned your face while you were sleeping and did a three D.

What the fuck?

Was impressive? You know?

Okay? I thought you guys you should go to.

Kill yourself and you should go and kill yourself. Now can I get a pineapposequerrevo? And you should go and kill yourself now, got to get a Pina hoose cuervo.

You're talking to a worker when she was saying that the Yeah, where was that? Like a Ralph's?

I'd probably like a liquor store.

Also the way you set me that and like I didn't watch it, And then some someone on my timeline was like, this is Drew.

Phillips in our I went to the video. I was like, this is literally the video you said me earlier.

Yeah, And with that being said, here is a word from our sponsor.

Sponsor.

Yes, did we have two sponsors this episode.

I don't know. We just did it just in case.

There is big talk, no holy ship. This is actually crazy. There's this new disease going around called the coronavirus, that is it spread through.

Actually think that the other day. I was thinking about that the other day.

Remember when we first found out about it, and you, me and Josh sat in this kitchen because uh, Josh's parents work in the medical field, so we like got like there were.

Like rumors that the world was going to shut down and we were going to be under martial laws.

And it wasn't like a like a outspoken thing yet, so we were.

Like, there's no way there was like medical industry.

Yeah, so we were like what, like that sounds crazy, and then we were like, dude, that's so annoying. Two weeks like where we had to sit still, that's so fucking annoying, Like and I was just thinking about that, damn. Like everybody had that reaction where they were like what two weeks like that's like insane.

And it was literally lit in the beginning. I was like, fuck, like I'm going to learn how to play chess and I know.

I'm gonna go on bike rides and like talk to my therapist.

More often, and then the world you erupted.

Now it's like almost back to normal.

I think.

I feel like it's like back to normal for the most part, but now we're on this is the now.

Now we're on the cusp of something else, and now I'm like, oh my god, is this it?

Like? Is am I just going to spend the rest of.

My life being like absolutely freaked out and like anxiety driven.

I get.

Wait, but I thought you were straight?

Uh.

I work in the sex industry as a videographer on sex sets.

Oh you don't part take though you're like straight?

Yeah, okay, I believe you.

I guess I had a dream where you died and I saved it. We're gonna record it yesterday, but do you forget it?

No?

I wrote it all down, okay, let's hear it.

Okay, And it was one of those moments where like I woke up and I almost start it crying. It was really nice. I like my voice was shaking when I was doing this. I was so fucking sad. But we were at a concert. A bunch of shit happened previous, but it's like not relevant to the dream because it was literally just like weird dream shit. And we were at this concert for the Gorillas, and we were with some billionaire that like had like an airplane strip attached

Well, the good news is that would have happened, because it would be so fucking embarrassing because like I was probably drunk in the dream, and like the idea of me like falling drunk to my death, it is like I wouldn't do that.

So that's the good.

News is just know that I dream about you dying too.

That's good. That's good. I had a sex dream with you and it was awful.

Did you really Yeah? And why would you keep that from me?

Oh?

Because I just thought about it when you said it, because then I woke up. It was really.

Weird, and I like, you literally are so obsessed with that sexually.

No, it was like alien like and really nasty. Like it was really like in the dream. In the dream, we like had to have sex for some reason, Like it was like this thing of like we like had to do it and both of us really didn't want to, and like we were trying so hard.

To initiate it with each other, and it was like just so like dude. We were like, dude, this is literally like an awful task at hands.

Like we were like this, this is just so I feel like we could figure this is just so too much.

Like it was like, what the fuck?

Okay, the big one is literally coming? Wait tell me why I would do for another earthquake.

Stop, because I've been thinking about it because of like the world like.

Falling apart and like everything in climate change. I'm like, oh my God, it's gonna happen, hopefully happens when we're not guys watching it, and also a zoo will survive, and.

Like it'll be fine, and the next month it'll happen. The big one is coming in the next month.

You're just like saying that kind of stuff so that y'all can clip this and be like, oh my god, that's like. Wait, I said someone was gonna pass away. I thought barbecue, and I was like, and then when it happened, Oh, you.

Guys mentioned monkey pops in the Flea episode. Apparently did we really? Apparently?

No, we did not.

I saw I saw a comment that was like not true, predicting monkey pox or something something like.

Wow.

I literally think I remember that. Wow, it's crazy how I'm like.

That's not a good things that's happening.

No, it's not a good thing, but it's a good thing for me because I can predict your future.

I'm just kidding. Please don't hit me.

You embarrassed him.

One more woman, sit down.

Anybody that like you, We'll give you because if you care about it, you won't it.

I cared about you, I'll cut I'll cut all that out.

To leave it in you want to leave that in. Leave it in.

Okay, I don't remember what that didn't happen.

We realized, Drew, I wasn't joking. Somebody actually did say that about the comments.

I know because I really did talk about it, and I remember talking about it. I already did it.

Why are you guys doing that.

Calling the last straight men? Yeah, it's like a dude that did it? Being serious? How those fucking colaps hurt so bad?

Like, look, did you have a little fragile baby hands?

Okay, we're back, We're back. Okay, So I have to talk about the barbecue and an interaction with someone that I had there. I think it's it's important to the story to know who it was that I was talking to. But I also don't want to say their name. But I'm also like, I literally don't give a ship. But okay, So I was talking to Troy Sevon. Yeah literally I was. I was talking to choice of because we're the best friends. Literally the most gorgeous man I've ever seen in my

About He thought, uh dur and Josiah was dating was like how long have you are you guys seeing each other?

Yeah?

He's like are you guys seeing each other? Emmy and Josiah like sccream, Oh.

Bring back Manley man My, damn bitch, damn damn.

I just literally today has just not been my day, Like nothing's landing, none of my conversations are sticking.

Like it's just what you're doing, a good job.

Let's put this on what the screen?

What is that y'all laying next to each other?

Where's that from Miami? Oh, we'll insert this picture and you tell us if it's true or not.

Wait, what does it say they genuinely would be so cute together? I don't know.

Yeah we would.

I think I think we would.

We're both tops.

You guys are too.

Okay, I know you're not to talk me when me when I'm literally a liar. Hey, my name is Kryen and I'm a top.

Fun right now.

Okay, that's what I thought you were doing.

Damn, my name is kin. I have sex, bitch, don't lie.

Okay, you caught me. I told you I'm not a good liar. Like I'm not a good.

Liar me playing this podcast in my therapy.

These are my two bullies who also employ me.

So these are my bullies.

I'm supposed to talk to my therapists, but like, I'm just too busy having fun and doing other stuff to do that. But I'm like actually actively going more and more insane.

Oh shit, Oh.

We've arrived at this point. What do you think? What do you think of subtitles?

Before you said the stupid COVID thing, Yeah.

That was you're like subtitles I.

Like, but as COVID thing.

I was gonna say, like a genuine thought, and it's so far gone now you think.

I think we're the generation that brings.

Except I can't watch anything with subtitles when I'm high, Like my brain cannot like move that fast.

So I have Me and Lucas and Josh have watched fifteen minutes of a show and no, it was. It was very recently and we were all sober, and we've watched like like five or six minutes of a show without realizing, like it was speaking Spanish and we were like, and it was. It was a Japanese show, and we were like, wait, why does this Japanese sound like Spanish right now? And we had American subtitles on what fucking show is that?

It's probably because my mom.

Yeah it was, it was your Netflix. What show was that?

My mom?

Only I think I've said this also before, but my mom only speaks Spanish, so every time.

We log into my Netflix, show start in Spanish.

So we watched like two Benis and then when they first when they first start talking, we're like.

Huh huh, huh ha.

Huh.

I entered The Spelling Bee in fourth grade and oh it was bad. It was so bad.

We entered it now out of fourth grade. I still think it.

We had two test rounds, or we had one test round and then a serious round, and my test word was salami. Failed it, but I was like, okay, I get another chance. I like will pass the next round. And then we did it, and I was like, literally the fourth person eliminated because I was a fourth person that went and I had to spell sombrero and I genuinely don't know if I know how to spell it today. It's s O M B R E R O is how you spell it? And then salami is s A L A M. I yeah, okay, so I can spell

Could you spell accessibility?

No?

A No, it's just my brain. My brain goes too fast. A C C E S S A B I L I T y.

Uh Yeah again two O more time.

I can't. I did it too.

Fast, he said to SS. And I don't know if there's two.

A C C E S S A B I L I T Y.

No, that's wrong.

Fuck off?

Okay, how do you spell it? A C C E S, S, I, B fuck, L I T R. I think you said A before.

Yeah, yeah, I really thought I got it. I know I was like, I thought you.

Got it too, But then I was like something after.

That ability, accessibility.

I guess it also is like a bit difficult to spell when you pronounce things like differently than the way they were written in nineteen sixty one.

When did the word accessibility drop? Let's look that up.

I'm going to assume like eighteen sixty three. I'm really stuck on the sixties.

When did the word accessibility come out? The word homosexual like it popped up like sixteen forty, Dawn, I said, eighteen sixty.

Literally, I have absolutely no gauge of time, like literally at all, because look at that.

If you were born in like two thousand.

And four, look what comes up when I look up. When did the word.

Have you looked that up before? Eighteen sixty eight? Hella lay, I would say that's early what there's been gay people before that. They just didn't know, they couldn't put their.

Finger on it, in it, but no no one cared. They started caring in eighteen sixty none cared before.

That's how I feel.

About myself, like, no one cared about me until it was like super popular and important.

Why did you shake your head?

Yes, Kai, I was agreeing with you.

That's not something to agree with. You're supposed to say no people cared about you before that, Like.

I thought, women, you're supposed to listen to women.

And then he is listening and learning.

Yes, not me, listening and learning.

Still can't spell?

Are you trying to spell something else?

Uh? No? So we are literally living in the last goad generation. We have a habitable earth, We have cars that we get to drive. What else I have written down? I have a bunch of things. We have like decent climate, we have monarch, butterflies and everything else. In like ten fifteen years, it's going to be done.

I've been genuinely saying to people, I'm like, damn, I like finally came around to being like, you know what, I would love to have.

Kids, but I'm like, I won't be able to have kids, Like I just.

Won't if this is just a repeat of the seventies, because like literally they thought the world was ending in the seventies too, and people chose to not have children in the seventies because they're like the world is going to end, fair though now it's it.

Was ending, Like there is such a small statistical probability at the fact that we made it to this point. Have you ever looked up the nuclear bomb like accidents. No, there's like recorded events where they were transporting a nuke across the United States and it just fell out of the plane and it just didn't go off, and that there's like thirty things that happened like that, Like the Cold War was about to happen. It was literally like a thirty minute thing that was called off to like

Well we're not.

So do you think that, like it's valid to feel like it's kind of a not gonna happen situation or do you think it's valid to feel it.

I feel like the trs that the world ending are lower now than in the seventies, for sure, I hope so.

But yeah, the world's not.

Like, how do I have Apple pay but y'all can't fix global warm that's because a.

Global warming is the thing?

No, Like, I'm so denxerious. Why can I do PayPal check out.

On any website in the world, But y'all can't fix the temperature.

Globe because every time you buy a new mew jacket, it has to travel six thousand miles via jet and pump a thirty thousand tons of carbon monoxide or carbon dioxide into our atmosphere, which is melting holes. If you need the best skincare in the world, go to Australia. They have a hole in the ozone layer above their country, so they all are constantly fix it. No, it's still bad over there.

It is still bad, yeah, people, but we.

Fixed this is you know what's crazy is that that was like one of the only times in the world where everybody was like, you know what, like we got to do something about this fucking hole in the ozone layer because all of our oxygen is literally leaving the earth. We're not going to be able to be here for fifty more years if we don't. And then they pass like some fucking law that like literally just stopped the production of this one kim that like was actively destroying

Yeah, I heard that you would if you like slowly because you consume so much of it.

If you just stopped using poppers like it was everything.

Wow, this is the second time you've done this this episode.

Do you think people are gonna think I'm like homophobic or something?

For sure, I'm.

Just trying to make sure, making sure? What bitch? Oh did you go get proof that I was right?

No?

These are yours that you left in my room. No one, those are yours that you left in my room.

Riddled me this.

I bought a big version and I gave die.

You're gonna die. Those actually aren't mine.

I know.

I bought the big one and I gave it to you. Did someone take it?

You gave me this one?

It was the flat Oh wait, maybe this is mine?

Yes, because I I swear like you never gave me a big one. I swear on my life. Oh no, Now it's gonna smell like that in here? What I used that to clean my fingernails?

Yeah, this is no remember that I use a lot.

Oh, I smell it. I smell the poppers.

You want a more concentrated sniff?

Whoa, but yeah, I heard that I unregulated porn. The porn will be regulated. That's why we're the last good generation. We're literally still in the wild wild West with the Internet, and soon it's all to be regulated. Just wait, we're all gonna be We're all gonna look back in twenty years and be like we were fucking degenerate, delinquid scum.

I think like that about myself, like two years.

Ago, you need to not eat whatever chicken that was before the podcast.

What I literally was like, I feel like so normal normally, I feel like fucking shit, Can I please of my balls?

No, but like you're giving me a little peak show through sports and I can see your bowl to.

Now, I can't, can I see? Can I see Kai?

I'm not gonna clean your feet. I don't want to see you.

I don't think I saw anybody having anything to say about me saying my feet getting warm literally makes me horny, Like no one had anything to say about that. I didn't see a single comment about that, and it was just grazed over, which is good because that means that we have like older people watching us now who were like around our age.

So you understand, because I can't stand when I see like.

A person talk about like, oh my god, they say they want to like suck my toes that's so weird.

I'm like, there's nothing weird about that.

Just I am, Oh my god, just airing out your fetish.

I find every part of the body of someone i'm attracted to awesome.

Just I was working on his laptop with like his pants down, so his ass was like hanging out. Well he just he just put it away.

Pull that dick out, pull that dick out, pull that dick out, pull that dick out. Dick pull that dick out, pull that dick out. Oh he's doing it, pull that dick out.

I will never Oh my god.

I will never ever be here again. I will never ever put up with this again. Being all the time sexualized by all of you.

That's literally me. Although comments like talk about it so much, they're like, damn, Drew like has juice silently handles all of his traumas, and it's from you two. Y'all are bitch.

No, we don't. Yeah, we're so nice to you.

Yeah, I know why'd you take it? And I'll throw away never. Oh it is Drew putting on a show like he's.

Like, okay, yeah, he's pretending.

What do you have to say?

Oh my god, dude, chill out.

Just beare fucking hairy ass cheeks are out.

Sorry my pads are writing a little notes.

Together, like too.

Long, because now we're getting to the point where we think like showing our cracks to each other, like the boys do that?

Have you been doing that for a like opened the door and pull down my pants and run off the stair. Literally yesterday when I came, when you came? Did you just get here yesterday?

Never?

No, he's been never I was, I don't know, just has been like the second week of a podcast episode.

He's just casulatd Vien here for two weeks.

It's awesome. It feels like we're like fucking twenty agin.

I know, it feels like we're roommates. Wait, guys, and they were roommates.

Ah.

Never, I was thinking that it does feel like thirteen oh four.

You might as well have not existed back then. You might well have like not like been on the planet like you were giving.

It's the way we all wait, wait can you? Thirteen o four was a very special time.

It was literally the best time. I remember.

Josh used to always be like, oh, the salad days, the salad days, And now I'm like, yeah, so true. The days oh days.

Oh damn, only ten minutes. We talked about it.

Only every time we're filming, Kai will like say a random number to us because we'll get to a point where we're.

Like, well, damn, what else do I say right now?

And then Kyle will be like, yeah, y'all have been going for like seven minutes and.

Four minutes.

Yeah, Like sometimes I believe it, and then sometimes I don't because then I remember Joe Kai is like a liar.

Liar, I'm a liar.

Why'd you say it with that face you have?

Like, oh fucking and you don't do that. I didn't do ship, motherfucker literally hurt so bad.

I didn't do anything you wish. I would tell you missed my touch? A minute, say you missed my touch? Did you with say you miss my touch?

Drew? You see this?

Maybe that's true?

Holy Ship, that's scary.

I like those things in like you want that pop up and then going downstly, Oh my god.

Just.

Su that was like a.

Wait can you see me?

Yeah?

Yes, the whole thing.

Wait one time, one time when I was in a haunted house when I was like four.

Okay, but like you're lying now because you weren't fourteen ever, like you were never fourteen or fifteen.

I hit one of the employees in the face because it freaked me out, and I swung and hit them in the face, and the mask they were wearing like turns because it was like a big head and it turns.

And then I got yelled at are you taking photos of me? Why are you taking photos of me? Back there on my phone?

Okay, well should we get into media, dude? I wish I had like good media.

I haven't seen a movie since I started playing Fortnite.

I have a good dat media. I saw Noe.

Oh wait, all my friends when I was like, oh my god, I want to see Nope really bad. All my friends on the one day I worked all day went to go see it without.

Me, and it was so much sweeter.

The good news is someone in there had COVID and they're gonna have it, but like not with symptoms, but they're all gonna see their families.

Someone monkey parks, Yeah it was me, bitch, and now you have it. But no, I saw Nope and it was literally a masterpiece.

Ah.

I wouldn't say masterpiece, I'd say like it was a really really amazing take on that style of movie. I don't want to say what happened in it if you don't know, because you should go see it without like knowing what's going on and going to a completely blind but like, yeah, I've never seen some of these takes made, and I've it was really awesome, and like the modeling

It's fucked up. My media of the Sleigh.

Is any song by Don Omar because it reminds me of being like seven and getting my head busted open in a bounce house, Nasty by Ariana Grande and Helmet by Steve Lacy. Josiah says Nasty is a part of his media as well.

Julius by Lady Gaga, Yeah, Wichita Lineman by Glenn Campbell, and then Pondi Floor by Major Lazer A, and then we get the voo boo sways uh World Cup vibes.

Oh that's for Jeru. But I found him up there and he hangled.

He like puts my b hole right there and it just goes like right.

In yeah, and then a little doll.

It hurts, but it presses against my prostate in a very clear way. How all right, bye bye, all right, let's leave him back there, Let's.

Go, Yeah, Ki, please, can you hear me?

Do not? But he seems like, can you tell let me out?

Can you hear me?

I can hear you, but I'm not supposed to help you for some reason.

Hm hm m.

M m.

Soup.

So that up please, I just want to go. I'll cover it.

No, I'll cover the Can you do it? Do it?

Wow? Ah?

Why sh