Emergency Intercom Tiny Desk Concert

Welcome to this episode of Emergency into Calm.

I'm Drew, and I do have Apple AirPod Nactus, and I'm like, I love them.

My name is Enya, and I have them too.

And yes, if you are wondering, both of the pears are very dirty, the dirtiest thing.

On the planet.

What are we going to talk to the camera or to each other?

I don't know why I'm talking to the camera because.

I was talking with the camera too.

Yeah.

Well maybe sometimes it's good to speak to them. Let them know, let them know that I see you, I'm watching you.

I'm in your walls, I'm in your room.

I was just like chewing gum the whole time. Let me swallow real quick.

You swallow gum? Yeah, I do not swallow gum anymore, really, no.

I literally every piece of gum I've ever eaten I have swallowed, Drew.

You know, the little like black dots.

On the concrete or gum, right, Yeah, I know.

And that's like why I don't spit it out, because I don't want to add to that pile.

So you'd rather just let it sit in your stomach.

Well, it doesn't actually like the stomach. Acid in your stomach is like super fucking powerful. It would melt your finger if you ate it.

So if I really was upset with you, I should throw up stomach bio and.

Throw it in your face.

Actually that's a good idea. Well should I talk about Oh, I have something very, very very but I have something very important to say. Shut the hell up. No, I have something very important to address about the last episode. I just want to It's like hard for me to talk about, but I.

Want to here for you, here, give me your hand.

I want to just kind of clear the air.

Ye.

Yes, I have a gine or mis fucking schlang, like a big fucking meaty girthy cock.

And the thing is you've warned everyone. You gave multiple warnings, Like my wiener is huge. Everybody always talks about it.

It's a big problem in my love life. Yeah, and that's why you don't have romantic situations and holding it because everybody wants to use.

You for that.

And it's also just extremely fucking difficult because when I get in erection, all the blood from my rain goes to my wiener and I pass out. Yeah, every time I stand up, it's because my penis gets blood in it and that's why I'm like light at it that people want to blame it on. Oh, like oh iron efficiency. Yeah, no, it's.

You're gonna be the most of the odeon right.

Like literally, but most of my problems in my life are because of my big ginormous schlong.

I didn't even think.

About that, But there are a lot of problems in your life that you could trace back.

Yeah. No, it was funny that I like, when I was watching the episode back, I was like, blur this, blur this, and like make sure you can't see this, and then like within the first five seconds of the episode, I'm like picking at it, like and it's that you were.

Like it and moving it around. Well, it's okay because like.

Women's boobs should be sexualized, that I understand, but we shouldn't sexualize the wieners of men.

Yeah. I actually also have a question for you about boobs. When you and like Oriyan or you and any of your girlfriends are watching a movie, how quickly into the movie does it take before you start playing with each other's boobs?

Wow?

Uh, we usually don't because I don't like what I don't like to have sex with my friends.

Fucking weirdo. Prude loser.

How does that make me impruvede? That's just like something not something I do? Well should I talk about? Okay, let me preface. So last time I saw Drew was we did our Berkeley show, Bah Berkeley bus say, and it was amazing and awesome. But I had to rush out of there because I have I had worked in New York and Drew was going to meet me in New York.

First of all York. Yeah, because we're just like working.

Good, we're working.

Our life is movie.

Here's why we're here.

Out.

Oh you're going yeah, well, as a man should shout out stray Rats, letting me use the letting us use the office because it's so fucking cool.

Yeah, you're wondering where we're at.

We're at the stray Rat, the straight Rats headquarters.

Julian is goaded with the sauce. Let's just say.

That extra goat.

Uh.

Can I have a side of goat with my sauce? No? Can I have a set of sauce with my goat?

No? No, it's too much.

Anyway, when we were leaving Berkeley, I'd like rush out of there.

I did not tell you this, but do you remember what I texted you before I.

Took off that, uh, you were convinced you're gonna die or you something like that.

Oh do I tell you that?

Yeah?

Oh wait, but do you remember along those lines what else I said?

Not off the top now, but I remember once you told me.

Okay, so I'm gonna say the story and then say why I texted you what I texted you because it's look, I feel like I could find it.

What was that?

Oh my god, all of my notes just deleted. I'm not even fucking kidding. I had like a hundred notes.

Recently deleted.

No, no, no.

Oh my god, that's second.

God. I literally almost had like I would don't even have a conniption fit. I was just gonna cry. But okay, keep going while I look for you.

I know how to find it.

Okay, we didn't tell you so much.

We're I'm like leaving on a late flight out and it's a red eye, so I'm thinking to myself, Okay, I need to sleep because the next day I had.

To show up to the competition.

I had to show up right and early to get my booty all oiled up so I could start working for Drew. But I had work the next day, Like I had to be at set early in the morning the next day, so I was like, okay, I need to make sure I sleep on this flight.

So so before I got on the.

Flight, I did what anybody would do in my situation, which is, instead of taking melatonin because I don't believe in melatonin anymore, I took an edible and had like two drugs, which is like I'm not saying to do Okay, yeah, wait, so I didn't in my text. I didn't say that I thought I was gonna die. I just like I had a morbid thought. Okay, so whatever, I'm just like

Into the cockpit.

Uh bragging much.

I'm just saying like that it has to do with the story. But like, my life is a movie, and I am working with a company that treated me like an absolute princess, and I like flew business class like it's like really fucking easy, Like honestly, oh wow, Oh so whatever, I'm like a little cross getting onto the flight. I had taken an edible, right before I boarded, because I was like, by the time I sit down, I

We're gonna have some people come on.

Uh, there's a switch for the navigation system that isn't working and we're gonna have someone come on that for me.

Image, that's literally what happened on the Image Malaysia flight that like fucking disappeared.

Yeah, bitch, that for me was not okay.

Like I literally immediately started freaking the fuck out, and like in that moment him saying that ignited my edible in my brain. I was so convinced that it was done for me, Like I kept making comments like I like to myself, just kind of laving me like, oh my god, what if we like got off the plane.

We should get off right now.

The maintenance guy rushed past me into the car and they had plyers and they were tugging at the switch with plyers, like trying to fix it. And he was like, oh, we're just gonna turn the plane on and off again and see if it works. And they kept turning on and off the plane. They were literally just resetting.

It like it's a fucking iPhone.

Yeah, like, bitch, this is not an iPhone. This is like me and the lives of a bunch of people like get me. Ah.

So they do that for like twenty minutes.

We get delayed, and then the maintenance guys went out and they're like, all right, I think everything should be good by now. We're just gonna take off and it should be fine. It should be fine, bitch, that's what.

Could be read our deck.

And you said, I just had the high. I just had the high thought that's so morbid. And I said what she said, like, if I ever died, how would y'all get into my laptop? Which that being like, that's your that's your thought, that's what you're thinking about.

And I'll explain this.

You like to see my texts and shiit, what the fuck? Because I want yours. I was like, haha, o g you know mine. And then and she gave me the password to the laptop because like my.

Notes okay, and then like that was kind of the end of it.

But I didn't want to tell you what was happening because I didn't want you to get anxious then take off, yeah, and then hear nothing from me.

So I tried to play it cool.

But what was actually happening is I was sitting in the front of the plane crying, Like I literally started crying.

That's most people die on plane crashes, the front of the plane breaks up.

Believe. I was like, I'm done. I'm like, this is why I don't do this shit.

This is why I need to be in an exit row in the back so I can fucking jump out before the plane like crashes, Like this is it.

This is my fucking nb all. Wow, Like I can't like, I can't believe this.

But I had a moment where I was just thinking I didn't have morbid thoughts of this is so stupid because obviously I was not near death.

Bitch, I like, you were so high I was near death, have.

Any like sad thoughts.

I genuinely was so satisfied and happy with my life. And the reason I gave you the password to my notes app is because I wrote this, which I'm not going to read out loud. But I wrote this like three oh seven am, October twenty fifth in my leather read this, yeah, but you can read it, but like, don't read it out loud. Well, we'll skip ahead because it's going to take your eight years to read that.

That's so.

And I literally was crying writing this, and I was just like I need Drew to find this and share it to anybody who like why do I have.

Like thirteen notes?

Just like yeah, it's like bad.

Like if y'all go through, it'll be like my life was amazing.

I love my friend's family everything. Yeah.

Yeah, So I just thought you that is that funny, Like I literally.

You were tweaking.

You were literally tweaking off the fucking being.

The second that place our movie, I fucking out literally all that.

All that, But that's literally me. Every single flight, I am sitting in my seat like literally convinced I'm gonna die. So I text everyone I know that I love them. I'm like I'm taking off I love you, Like that's my vibe eyady, I've gone.

So far down that path that I don't do it anymore because now I'm convinced.

Doing that will solidify my death. Even though like either way, like you, planes are.

Like really safe, they're so savvy, they're literally soay.

I just thought you would think that's funny.

Because whoa life while you were going through that. I literally almost fucking died. And I know I say that like.

Every every episode.

No no, no, but this was very very real, Like it was not okay, but so on my flight, like I must have gotten bit by like a spider or a mosquito or something. I don't know what the fuck the bite was, but like it was like really itchy, and then it kind of got really hot and then it got like warm, and then I just didn't look at it for like four hours. And then like I got to the hotel that I'm staying in with my parents, I'm my, gosh, I'm in New York City with my parents.

I literally was like, girl, you keep scratching it, so you're gonna like that's what's happening.

Yeah, And so I just ignore it. And then the line keeps crawling higher and higher, and then I'm like okay, like this is not good. And then I'm just like whatever, Like if it's that bad, I'll be alive tomorrow and I can figure it out tomorrow, Like whatever.

I'll be alive.

Yeah. So then I'm like it's like four am, and I text Josh and I'm like, yo, like I need to talk to your dad, like I think something is very wrong with my arm. And I send the picture to Josh and Josh's dad is like, okay, like tell him not to panic. He's gonna be fine, but he needs to go to the hospital, like right now, like he should have gone yesterday to the hospital, he needs to go right now, or an urgent care, but like go and get antibiotics. I didn't do that, Like I

Like my fingers my fingers.

Were like tingling and like numb. And then there were like certain spots that were like a deep throbbing like almost bruise.

Like sorry, there's pain.

I know there's spooky, spooky ghosts and skeletons all around, but yeah, I'm like feeling this stobbing pain. So I ended up calling Josh's. I ended up calling Josh and yeah, I went to the doctor the next day and they told me. I was like, I'd like cellulitis, which I was like, isn't that like what people get on their thighs, but or like cellulate cellulate. But they were like, no, it's like cellulitis, Like you have an infection under your

He's got some perks.

I'm taking excited two perks a day for the pain because my arm almost fell up.

But like me so funny, like we literally you can't tell me something. But we've talked about this on the podcast before. Drew is so difficult because everything is a dying matter.

Yeah, extremely difficult to.

Navigate any situation with him or tell the severity of it because he kind of just likes talking.

I was gonna say, I was going to say, like tell me why. I was like, what if I don't take these antibiotics, and like I have to, like my arm falls off, like and I like.

Get to taking it.

Yeah, and I get to get like a cool chrome Heart's like arm, like custom chrome Heart's arm.

Though you can't afford that though, so oh they.

Do it for free. They do it for free. But yeah, I'm gonna insert all the photos of it because you're scary.

Arm.

Yeah, this is like the last one where I was like, okay, I need to go, but like you can see it like traveling up. But yeah, I survived. I'm surviving another day. Every day is okay, Every fucking day is a blessing and you should treat it as such, and you should love the people around you.

Oh my god, Oh when did you.

Get that out?

Yesterday when I almost died.

You're twenty five, though you're seventeen. You're seventeen, but by seventeen, I know.

Why the fuck does everyone keep saying that shit to me?

Like everyone keeps saying you're twenty five.

That's such a weird fucking age to lie about. To land on.

Hold on, let me look at my notes.

We should talk about about the Berkeley Show.

No, oh wow, oh my god, Okay, actually we should because it is so insane. People saw videos of us at the Berkeley Show and we're genuinely so confused about Davis.

I'm an IVY league. That's not an IVY league, but like Iconic as School, the unibomber went there, killed a bunch of people. Oppenheimer went there.

Okay, something's wrong with Jerome, you said, that on stage.

Yeah, I was like, what it is? Yeah. I was like, there's some evil fucking creep in this room that's gonna kill people. Wow, even though I kind of agree with Ted Kazinski, not the killing people part or the bomb part.

Well, we went to Berkeley and every time.

This is the second college show we've done, and every time we do it, there are like three moments on stage where we're like, oh, oh wow, oh wow.

Did I say we're saying this?

Yeah, while are.

Students right now, but your schools keep asking us to come. So oh, I was gonna make a really roast joke. Actually me in the same sense as being like, why don't we say that?

No, I just talking about drinking adderall water at a college camping and lean and lean. But my lean story was lit because it was like the culmination was like I'm fucking stupid, but I'm not giving that away.

Like the g I.

Looked at my notes and the other last thing other than my us.

Talk about yours.

My uterus is not doing well, but we shouldn't talk about that because I'll get it fixed.

I'll get it tightened up.

But other than my eulogy that I wrote for myself. I wrote this like this was one of the this So this kid puts into frame.

Where my mind was at while I was thinking I was dying.

I said the fact that I have headphones that can literally turn off the world.

Music in world out, literally music in world out going.

There because it is so oh crazy, noise canceling headphones, wanting noise consoling headphones when I use my.

Fingers, noise canceling headphones when I use my fingers to click the button.

But I'm not kidding.

It actually freaks me out, Like I don't understand how noise canceling headphones work, and I can't believe that they just do. Like I just turned them on and I hit a button and I can't hear you bitches. Like that is really crazy, also very dangerous.

The clairvoyance mode is like literally the craziest thing I've ever experienced. My no Like, it's crazy that I can hear the world, that there's still music playing in my ears.

But I think that, like in my head, I'm like, that's just like regular headphones.

Oh no, no, it's different. There's like microphones. It's like pumping audio.

And yeah, I just don't like clear voics because why would I want to hear outside louder I'm putting on my headphones.

To turn off the world.

So like when I was talking and walking with you, I had my headphones on music playing, but I could hear every single word you were saying.

Okay, when I was walking with you and I had my headphones on and you were talking to me, I was ignoring because I just.

Have a dopamine addiction. Is really what it is, like, I need to have two things going into my ear at the same time, three conversation, world and music.

I will say I sat in the car on the way to sat the other day and they just had the like radio playing and I didn't put headphones on, and I just sat there listening to the radio and I couldn't believe.

I was like, this is so long, I've done this.

In the radio and it's okay, boom boom boom boom boom boom bom.

I don't know.

Oh, the songs on the radio are okay, yeah on the radio. Okay, Okay, big statement there, Yeah, like they're okay, No they ate, No, they did not.

Though. Also, okay, we need to talk about this past Halloween. What happened last year.

Our our takeaway from Halloween was it was some of the worst ig posts and some of the weirdest things.

She's gonna have that damn jewel in her hand. One thing, that's what your Halloween costume should be.

I should be a big jewel.

No man, I'll get into that later. I'll let you finish. But I was gonna say, never mine mine. There's a thing called old people like claws that I noticed that old people have flaws. It's like called that, no I call it that, but like their thumb, like I guess the muscle in their hand just kind of deteriorates, so their thumb thumb rests here instead of here.

And how many old people's hands have you looked at all of them?

But like they'll rest their hand like this, and it's just like it's so cute.

That's how you rest your hand.

But everybody saw Halloween costume this year was so good, and I don't really understand, like, was that like a like a collective decision for everybody to go, Yeah, everybody's caught.

Like my whole timeline on TikTok was like, oh okay, wow, Yeah.

People are just following in the footsteps how did you start that just by throwing good costumes? Pains? People just saw me and one of the Beamy period. No, but I agree. Everyone's costumes were so good. Like I'm literally like jaw dropped at Quinn's like, yeah, Grace Jones costume.

Like no, and it's not even Halloween yet, But what are the bitches going to post on Halloween? You all already posted everything. I'm going to do a lot of people's ideas and go back to their posts that they posted on halloweknd and be like, hello, where's the next one?

Where is the real?

Waiting?

Winning? Winning? That was crazy? That arrow was fucking c It was so real. Ye know he ate look back at all this ship and he was saying, actually, I'm not going to co sign that.

I don't know what he was up. We were like seven.

Some things he was eating.

I just like his the the one that's like popular and TikTok where it's like any drugs and they drugs in the house.

Yeah, the drugs in the house. No, there's not go find them. I did them. No I didn't.

Okay, well, I'm going to tell the taxi driver's story. But evil, evil, evil, wicked taxi driver.

So why are you calling it a taxi driver?

Because I got a taxi that's in San fran You no in La?

So in La?

You got a taxi?

I know. Listen, So I land in LA and my bag is the first one. No, No, I didn't. I don't know my bag was the first one off here. But I land in La. I'm like, not in a rush. I'm kind of just vibing. I just want to get home. No, I landed like in the middle of the day. But I like, if you know anything about La, like going there.

An elongated process after like what is usually already such a long fly.

Yeah, and it's just like so so so so annoying. But so but you have the option if you want to call like an uber select or whatever the fuck it's called, and they'll come pick you up just right there. But it's typically sixty dollars more, and like I almost every time I travel, I work that into my budget. Is like, Okay, when I get home, I'm in at to pay fucking sixty more extra dollars to get an

Like we've gone so far with vocabulary.

No, like whenever when I learned the word, literally it has become the most used word in my vocabulary, Like whoever taught me that word is like I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you. But I get to the laxit there's a thousand people, Like it was kind of actually dangerous, like I felt like there was gonna be like a crowd crush event or something like it was not chill, and like, I call my Uber and wait like ten minutes.

And the only person in LA has ever been like my taxi. Yeah, I even know they had taxes in LA. That's why I'm so confused, Like, yeah, they're They're there. And I get into my I'm in the line. It goes by very quickly. I'm like, oh, puh, I should have just did this from the fucking beginning.

Cool. I get in the car and last time I took a taxi from Laxit, the guy randomly halfway through my ride just like added their dolls to my rid and I just didn't get out of the car until he took it off because I was like, I watched you add that fucking money there, bitch, like new. So I was like very vigilant.

Anytime I have to imagine you interacting with a stranger in that way, Like I can't imagine it.

No, it's crazy. So I get to the car and an older gentleman I'm like, oh, he's like cute, like this is a sweet vibe, like cute. Immediately the meanest person I've ever interacted with in my entire fucking life, Like immediately agro like he like, I get my bags and like he opens swings the gate thing open and he's like rolling his eyes and I pick up my bags and he's like, oh, you don't think I couldn't do it, And I was like no, I just was being nice and he was like and then I put

You were in a toxic relate.

No, it's crazy.

It was like he's like, oh, wow, you think I'm weak? No do it? Do it? Yeah? No, I don't want to do it.

No exactly. I was like being attacked. And so I get in the car and I get in the seat behind him because I'm like, oh, that's where the payment station is, like whatever, And like he opens my door really like like really hard, and he's like what are you doing? And I was like nothing, and he's like screwed over and I'm like, oh, I'm like okay, damn, like what And so as I'm.

Scooting over that, Okay.

If I was, I wouldn't have let him talk to him.

No, I didn't. Like that's the thing I took up for myself. I took up for myself finally I did. And so I'm like I'm like he's already been so man into me. So I'm just like under my breath like at him, I'm like Jesus fucking Christ. So I like rip, rip my like double bag out of the back and he's like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa What are you doing? What are you doing? And I'm like I'm grabbing my bag and like I guess he thought I was gonna fucking like grab a gun out of

Like, what he made you sit next to No.

No, he meant in the back, like a passenger seat in the bag.

He was like, he's like, what are you doing?

Get to the front.

No, he wants to put his hand on your thigh while light. He drives you.

Home actually, and so I, uh, what's it called? What's it called? What's it called?

Oh?

He's like, that's what that's there for. You don't sit behind me, you sit there, And I was like, ah, this is crazy. So I'm just like already in a bad mood, and I have my headphones on, so like this is a long fucking story, but I'm gonna like

Oh, he was like, oh, I know how to turn this.

He rolled down all of the windows in the car on the fucking freeway and it was the loudest environment I've ever been in, and I like it was awful. It was such a bad fucking vibe. And I was just like, you know what, I'm not gonna say. Ow's like literally and like Semichuck's blasting by, and just like he would slow down, so the engines were like going through my window and like deafening me.

D you might have gotten a ride from the most evil man on the plane.

I know, it was crazy. A lot more shit happened in the ride, and then I started recording because I was like, oh, if I'm telling this story, like, I'm gonna have to have evidence because this is fucking crazy. Every time I recorded, nothing bad happened. It was just like like the engines of cars and it was just loud wind. It was like the worst sound ever. But we get close to the house and like, when I got in the car, he was like, where are you going?

And so I can't stand taxi drivers and ubers who don't use the fucking Google.

It's not the nineteen twenties. You were not pushing this car.

With your fucking feet like the flintstones, Like use your goddamn car play because I know you got car play.

It was.

It was so fucking absurd. And so we get close by the house and I'm like, oh, like, I I'll tell you, like where to go from here, and like I thought things were cool and he took that. He took that. I'm so offended by it. And he was like, why don't you just tell me the streets?

Do you?

You don't think I know where I am?

This is literally my dad.

Yeah, it now fail anytime I've driven my dad, I can have the directions on my phone on car Play, and I will know exactly where we're going and he will give me step by step directions.

The whole ways.

Amazing.

It also gives me wrong directions all the time.

Me wrong directions all the time, and then he's like, oh, they must have changed the street and I'm.

Like, no, you just don't know.

It's literally it is fully a man thing because like whenever, like anybody tells me how to drive, like boils my blood. But I'll be in the fucking backseat, backseat driving like oh like watch, no.

You won't because you'll just be on TikTok.

And scrolling TikTok, be on iPhone and car like I treated like my fucking.

Bellary and it's like getting into new iPhone.

Yeah, it's it's a problem. But anyways, we go close by the house and I tell him I was like, I don't know the streets that I live on, like because I don't, I just know the area I live in.

This is the same person from JFK called me. He's he lands at JFK. I'm in Chinatown.

Drew calls me and asks me how to call it for.

I literally was so shocked.

I was like, well, they fucked it up.

They put like you have to take okay, listen to this at JFK. You have to get on a fucking shuttle, to get on a train, to get in a car.

So any span on the Transportation Committee, no, literally on a in a span of fifteen minutes, you're on an airplane, a car, a bus, and a fucking train.

Like, you know, insane, that's insane. Just let me call the fucking car to the game.

But yeah, that was like, but yeah, that makes sense that this person doesn't know the cross streets we live on because he called me to.

Call an uber Like.

I was like, how am I even supposed to help this motherfucker right now? Like no terminal, no, no thing.

I was like, what termado you're at? And You're like, I just got off the plane.

I was like so asleep on that flight. I was still asleep when I called you.

All.

So you say you don't know the cross streets.

Yeah, and I'm.

Expecting the story to end with him hitting you or something.

Basically, he looks at me, he this, this is like the climax of the story. He looks at me in the rear of your mirror, and he's like, what are you stupid or something? You don't know what streets you live on? And I was like gagged. I was like, okay, honestly, like respect because like I should know the streets I live on, but like, don't call me stupid, Like this

No.

I was like, and I sound like I'm being innocent, but I was like beefing right back to him, to the point where I think he like respected it a little bit because like he was like, oh, we're like we're beefing. Like I think it was like a fun thing for him to like yell at me, and I was kind of getting off on it too, like we were kind of like we were kind of like perving

It's not killing him with high no.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, listen, listen. When I got out of the car, he like was almost teary eyed, like he was like profusely thinking with me. He was like oh my gosh, like thank you so much, like what the hell like? And it was it was the weirdest switch up I've ever seen in my life. And I left like on my high horse because I was like, bitch, yeah, like fuck you, like I win.

Fuck you, right, I let you yell at me for forty minutes and I gave you money for it.

Yeah, So that was like my evil uber story. And he probably died of a heart attack three days later because I swear to god, he was ninety eight years old, Like he had no business.

He was using his last soul like last moments to yell at you.

That's what I think, Like, I think he was like going through this thing where he's like I need to experience all emotions again before I die, and he just wanted to yell at someone. And I was just the unlucky. And what's crazy is that he would have done this to a girl because a girl was supposed to get

Look you need him, like wait, we need to meet you.

No, he was fine, like he was literally find.

That's why he said, yeall referving.

Yeah.

Also, I'm gonna address it right now.

Drew is straight, okay, Like everybody keeps talking about it, like Drew is straight, Like go back on his ig. He's always like Beyonce sexy, Lady Gaga is sexy, Lonna del Ray is sexy.

Lord is so cute.

Like I like, Drew goes in like Drew knows an attractive woman when he sees a body. Yeah, and he like he understands like women deserve the right to make our am be sexy.

At the same time, like he is straight.

Like actually no women should be in the kitchen, but.

Okay, yeah, but I mean like honestly, that adds to the straightness exactly, and at most maybe maybe a little by maybe maybe that's just like if you get cost slipping.

So that's never ever that okay, never never that never never, No, it's only poo nanny whoa Okay, so Orian needed a camera from your room. So I was helping her look for a camera in your room. And he has twenty five fucking cameras. And that wasn't even all of them. I counted twenty five fucking cameras. You have a problem.

So women making aren't expressing themselves. Problem, that's the.

Thing is is you use maybe two of those cameras.

Yeah, I've been collecting them for years. I'm a collecting woman.

When I saw them gathering, when I saw them, me and Orian were like crying, laughing. We were like, why does she have this many cameras? This is crazy?

Well, to be fair, like I when I lived at home, hold on, I have to fix this.

Uh.

When I lived back at home, I used to like I started collecting cameras. So I've been gifted a lot of those by multiple lovers and people who admire my body.

Not me.

Yeah, because you don't admire me anymore. You just get it's like the Madonna horror complex.

Now I'm like a mother to you.

I'm just left man.

But yeah, whatever, oh boo, I have a problem. I have a problem. It gets well after this, I'm gonna go buy a T shirt. Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it? Shopping is just like it gives me.

Actually, recently it has been giving me anything like it literally is like so unsatisfying and.

It's really sad fun.

But that happens every year. So I'll be back.

I'll be back in springtime, and I'll be right back to that shopping addiction.

I did say, what would be fun for you since you don't like shopping? Is saving money?

Oh wow, Oh it doesn't sound like.

A rainy day fund or something.

I mean it never right, ca.

Oh, while I was looking for cameras, I found your journals and looked through all of them and read everything.

What the hell?

I read everything?

Okay? And did you like what you saw?

Yeah?

Wow? Should I publish them?

No?

Oh? Okay. Then it seems like.

I cannot believe I forgot about this me getting food poisoning before my fucking flying.

Oh there's not a really good health week.

Yeah, no, I got food poisoning. And then well that's.

Also what happens when you don't leave the fucking house.

And like this motherfucker doesn't leave the house for like months at a time, and then when he leaves it everything goes wrong because you're like stacking up your outside living style karma, and then you have to get it all in one week because the universe knows that you're not gonna like come back.

Out after you go back home.

Oppenheimer, Oh the way you mind. But you know what I realized? No, oh wow.

Your touch makes me. Your touch appalls me.

No no, no, no no listen listen. No no no, no, no, no, no no no listen. Listen.

What is that from It's time creator?

No no, no, no, no no no listen listen listen. No one listening saying, oh, you know what, I think I got food poisoning. Okay, so the hell up, let me talk, Let me talk, Let me talk to you.

Because I know it's got to be some nasty ship.

So what I originally thought, twenty.

Dollars bet that he got the food poisoning from exactly where you would think you'd get food poisoning.

Okay, it's a curveball. So I thought, I went to see what is that movie, Killer of the Flowers, Moons or whatever. It was pretty good, like really fucking long and like whatever, but we can't stand a long movie objectively a decent.

They gotta start showing movies and double speed.

Like actually, they need they need an option.

There should be a button or like everybody in their seats can vote, or a separate theater for like brain riding people.

Because it was three and a half hours, okay, let me okay, So before before the movie, I was like saving my stomach all day because I was like, I'm gonna eat like eighteen hot dogs, like a bag of popcorn, a big fucking soda, Like I'm gonna wild the funk out because movie hot dogs. I swear to God, like they put the AMC put their whole show. AMC put her whole fucking pussy on those hot dogs. I swear to God, because like they taste so good.

Well, I will say they are so young.

I had a few of them, and one of them, one of them was like crusty, like you know when you cook a hot dog too long and it's like wrinkly and dry. I ate it anyways, it tastes fine, but it just like the texture was nasty boots, And I think I thought it was that because I came home and like six hours later, like my stomach was churning like worst nausea of my life. I won't go into too much detail, but I was shitting and vomiting at the exact same time, like that level of like.

Hey, I won't go into too much detail, but I was spraying shit out my butt.

You know what. I got lucky though, because I bought baby wipes before from Hmart, so I didn't have like a bloody butthole a bloody butthole, but I, oh, I like was vomiting all night long, shitting all night long, and my flight was I had to wake up at three fifteen in the morning and an hour before I started throwing up. I booked my seat to be a window seat, so the entire flight I had to tap the person next to me and asked him to get up so I could go shit. And it was terrible.

Eating a really like people might think that this is a character he plays, but I am not kidding this person. I don't know how when when you like had to meet us here, I was like, I don't know if he'll make it.

Like I don't know if he'll make and I beat.

You Manhattan to China to beat you kidnapped and like.

Sold on T MoU like I don't know what's we got.

Drew on T move.

Yo. They have drew on, But like, I don't understand how this person makes it. After the Berkeley show, there's water. It's a school campus. There are water fountains, but Drew was in such a panic state to get water. He ran into the bathroom and drank a bunch of tap water out of the sink. And then I read and he like he was too embarrassed to empty the bottle he filled with tap water into the fountain and get regular water, so he just let his stomach sit on unfiltered water.

And I know you didn't drink any more water for.

The rest of the day.

I didn't, no, I didn't. It was really one of the worst decisions I've ever made, and I still do it. I didn't learn my lesson. I will drink, like if I go to the bathroom at a restaurant, I'll just drink an.

You free water like they give it to you.

You it's so cold, like it hurts my teeth.

It's too coold. That hurts my belly like it does.

I hate, and I'm too nervous to ask for no ice because it's like weird. But I think in my head like the free water they give me is just out of the sink anyways, Like it's.

All the same, yeah, depending on where you go.

But yeah, so I think I got my food poisoning from the sink from Berkeley. Can Berkeley count your fucking days?

I still win.

Twenty dollars because you got it exactly where you would think you'd get.

To give it Apple CASHMI, right now? Really go on your movie so should be quicker. I don't even know your phone numbers make it twenty five? Really? Oh my god, are you actually setting me money right now?

Are you sure you want this?

Yeah? I mean like I would love twenty.

Dollars between me, all right, since.

I made with somebody behind your back the second I met them. I met I made a bet about you behind your back?

What wait? Who?

When we were all shopping, I had said to Max, I was like, I was like, what are the chan I was like, I would put twenty dollars down that he's going to go into that store find something he really likes, to look at the price.

I and be like, that's just ridiculous. I leave sad. Matter no matter how bad he likes it.

He's gonna be like that's I could find that, and then he never looks for it.

And I don't need it. I that's one thing about me is about me. I don't need it.

I am in such need for a hit. You know what it is? You get all your dopamine hits from your iPhone?

Fourteen hours on my phone.

Let's see that screen time. I guess it's been probably low because you're here.

No. I got a notification last night that said ten hours and forty one minutes, and I was like, in my head, I was like, damn, I'm like killing like, oh no, no, no, oh my god, yeah, yesterday was how the fuck was it? Ten hours? I had to have fell fallen asleep with that. That's crazy.

Yeah, literally in New York with your parents like going on like tourist attractions, walking around and you're still making that one.

Thing about Jersey's gonna dedicate his time. He's gonna get that screen time.

No, no, no, that cannot be real. It has fifteen hours and thirty one minutes. There's no way, Brad.

You know it's crazy.

It's real because that means you got home from Berkeley.

You just fuck damn you tunneled it.

I was tapped in.

Oh you spent six hours and forty minutes on TikTok that.

Stop looking at my ship. Stop looking at my shit.

Te your legs are twisted up right now. Bit Oh that's good.

Way I want to see mine. Um oh my god, Drew, you actually sent me money. That's funny. Thanks.

I was gonna talk about but we're like pretty much over with this episode.

Yeah, you are pretty much oversus.

Wow, I was gonna talk about this time. I'll just look forward to it next week because it's a fucking doozy. But come back. My mom took me and my sister for like kindergarten aged birthday to a George Strait concert and it was awful, Like it was so bad we got like robbed, a tornado hit us, Like my mom got pulled over four times on the way home, Like she lost her phone and we got lost for like eight hours. It's hell on earth. Oh wait, go back, hold on, now you're tripping because what is that?

Oh?

Not much better than me?

Nine hours and then the next day, the next day okay, oh wow nine hours hours?

Wow?

Okay, but like, how about this my average on a week three minutes, My average.

Is like seven hours, six hours. Yeah? Why is this one only an hour? On October eight to fifteenth?

Yeah? Where were you? Why don't you have your phone for five days?

I don't know. This actually makes no sense?

Google Reddit, Google, Wait, this actually makes no sense.

What happened to my iPhone?

Yeah?

I just like sometimes I just happen to real life.

It literally says like two minutes I'm going to go up.

Yeah hello, Yeah it's dude. It's because I was dedicating all my time and hitting my jewel.

Yeah. Literally, you're sucking that jewel down. Okay, one last thing before this one.

Is it new? Sorry?

We had a hater off screen in our live audience saying it's because this is a new iPhone.

But this is in a new iPhone.

This is the iPhone I've had phone and then left for two weeks, and it's just there.

It's like the most deranged thing I've ever seen.

Okay, well it's because I have to post on Instagram dot com and I was gonna be out of town. And guess what, I don't even post on Instagram dot com because I'm so tapped into my real life and I don't use my phone.

How about that?

Maybe I thought about that?

Yeah, did y'all think about that?

Well, that that phone is for sending nudes to you and we've been together like all the time, so I don't have to use it.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Okay, this is the last thing I'll say and then we'll get into media.

Stop deleting your notes, bitch.

Oh god, that scared the funk out. I mean, why did that happen?

Juree doesn't know how to use his phone for someone who uses.

That, he does not know how to the new iOS.

He's trying to screenplay something and it's like you forgot you have to swipe up on your phone because he literally also the way.

He holds it makes it crazy. He was literally like this. He was like, how do you do this? Because I'm screenplaying and it's not working, and he's.

Like, yeah, like that's how I do it.

Yeah, somethings aren't with you.

Okay, this is the last thing I'll say. But your I cream is low key just hamorrhoid cream.

My I cream says, I don't use I cream, so jokes on it.

All I cream is just repackaged hemorrhoid cream. Like the ship you put on your eyes, because that's supposed to like do something to your blood vessels, and we put I cream under it does something.

Oh it's to like shrink your blood. Like the blood floats the vessels.

So you get rid of the bag. So it's just hemorrhoid.

So what's crazy is I have this thing where like God chose me to have like the perfect underreyes and I don't put makeup on there and I don't put cream on there because I just look so gorgeous.

Naturally.

I love under eyebags. I think they're so cute. I like tried to like not sleep for a long time to get it.

Wants. What they don't have is love.

What you have straight people.

Have that.

Oh no, it's because you have that and you want the other.

Side exactly exactly.

Okay, media, this looks like crazy.

Oh look at my Halloween costume for next year.

You planning for next year?

Oh wow, isn't that crazy?

That's pretty good, like me.

I mean it depends on like if anybody gives a fuck about us next year.

But if they do, if.

You still still care, if you'll still care, okay, I'll just do Drew sap corner. These I'm not gonna lie.

Oh my god, that would be so good. We're gonna bleep this.

That would be fucking live. That would be so fire. It's my podcast chair. I'm gonna be my podcast share for Halloween next year. But okay, these ones are like are so diabolically mid like I like don't like them at all, but.

Whatever, I have to.

Oh really, yeah it happened.

Should I go? It's yours?

Anxiety is so fucking embarrassing, like, oh no, what if something happens, like come on, Jesus Christ, I was supposed to like deliver it like oh no, like but no, I'm over it, okay, people, I'm over at people. A haunted house. But it's just filled with guys saying that they swear they can change for you.

Lot. Wow. Wow.

Despite the horrors of life, there will always be a phone to look at in bed that one's just raw and real, that one's really good. Is there a way to be gay without being a part of the LGBT and that's all of them? Like these suck?

Didn't well, yeah, mine kind of suck. Girl.

Just ship on him. If you're mad at him, just shit on him. You will have plenty of chances to ship on him.

Just do it.

And then I don't trust people who stink at the pool or beach is crazy, like how do you stink in a pool of chlorox?

In a pool of chlorine?

Like, damn, bitch, you were really pushing through persevere it's honestly, so maybe it's something that's good about early that well. Media of the week is I'm not giving it to you, so suh.

Interface occupied by sugars s C H N E E R E G E N.

Okay me when I'm saying my password.

I don't know how to I don't know how to say that word.

Let me see, Oh yeah, I guess maxwell no, no, no, make s word.

Oh I can't say that.

Yeah, always calm, and this one's embarrassing. I love Destroyer lonely, like if looks could kill, I could beat a fashion Dan walking.

I've never heard you heard this song? Bro Oh, I can't handle that. Yeah, you're just like you're.

Open open opium.

Well mine is Venus as a Boy.

But the dream mix smoking Gun, Magnolia, Shody a Shoddy Bay coming to a city near you, And I've still just been listening to a lot of hollow oats like it's I finally finished the Sopranos. I finally finished it. I finally finished it. I finished it yesterday.

It's crazy, so insane.

I'll insert a clip of me, maybe my reaction to it, And if you finished it, you will know. And if you haven't, you still won't know. But you won't maybe one day, I understand.

But I like literally didn't.

Want to finish it. Yeah, I did cry.

I didn't want to finish it because I have become so connected to all those characters, like I literally love everybody.

In that so much. And but now I get to start Nurse Jackie.

Yeah, I'm really.

Excited about it.

Yeah, because I didn't want to start Nurse Jackie because I didn't want to be watching two shows with like an actress playing two different roles, because I didn't want to, like, I don't fucking know, be like, oh my god, what the fuck is Carmela doing right now?

But very exciting and yeah, I love the sopranis and I'm really sad it's over.

So yeah, I watched Killers of the Flower Moon or whatever the fucking title of that movie is.

Called, Like you watch talk to her, yeah, talk to.

Take my hand?

All right?

Well, thank you guys so much for watching. Shout out to for letting us use the space as oh my god, wait club coming soon or no, yes or no probably no, wow.

I don't know if we're like important enough, but we'll see it, all right.

He's in love and unity and respect.

Shot