Drewmoji coming soon

Welcome back to this episode.

I've discovered the dusty Divot is.

Dusty divot somewhere in Fortnite that's an old Fortnite.

Yeah all right, so this is the real dusty divot. Dude.

It's like disgusting.

It kind of looks like it's molding, but it's because you spilt something on there and now it's just turned black.

No, it's from me putting my foot here in the bottom of my shoe. It's like gunk from the outside world.

I'm really curious if any of the radioactive chemicals that have been seeping through your clothes are going to come back and haunt you later on in life.

Wait, radio act, why do I have radioactive chemical? Because this is like you shouldn't be carcinogenic. Okay, No, I'm like literally a super spreader of like carcinogens.

Through my like every time you hug someone, you're passing on like yeah, because you also don't wash your clothes.

Yeah no, I literally don't. I don't think I've washed this in like three months.

You're just sustainable. You don't wash your bed sheets, you don't wash your clothes.

I wash my bed sheets.

Your bed sheets, like maybe every like three months.

I've watched these twice. Have you actually? Yes, I haven't seen it.

You're are you winking at me? Yeah? Crazy?

Okay, So I was like bringing this up, but then I was like, no, but this has been giving me so much anxiety at night. It's been freaking me the fuck out. Is the Baja Blast pie from Taco Bell? Like, I can't sleep at night thinking about it?

Did you see that stuff?

Guy?

They're there, it's like the blue radioactive one.

Yeah.

They're also doing cinnamon twist with the Baja Blast flakes on it, which is so fucking nasty. But I guess that's like every cereal we grew up eating is just like fake corn with corn.

Dude, you're so disgusting.

Also, everybody slept on my joke last week when I said, oh, gay corn, like they're taking corn from us, like nobody, nobody clipped it, nobody cared like that was a bar.

Do you even remember, kay?

No, I remember it, And I actually think I saw a comment that like was like, oh, nobody see.

And nobody cares about.

Me, which are the best comments, by the way. Those feel so good when someone's like, oh nobody noticed so and so said that, Yeah.

Except everybody likes it, and then they still refuse to notice it, like the clip doesn't get posted.

Yeah, well, the Taco Bell, Choco Taco, That's what I'm excited about.

No, no, no, So they don't have release dates on it, at least when Apple does their presentation.

We have like a timeline of when everything's coming out.

Tacoball just said it to say it, like, I feel like that was something that they decided one night. The next day they booked it, and then they just got on stage and started like showing AI generated photos of things they haven't done yet.

Unfortunately, it ate and I will be eating it and it's working. It works. No, it was literally it is literally working because we're talking about it, like I'm excited about it. It's gonna be Yomersville like all of the new little items. I want the impanada so fucking badly, but every time I go on Postmates to order it. We have a Taco Bell like five minutes from our fucking house and I just can't get into the car to drive there because I'm so fucking lazy and like

He built out a car.

On posts I still have. I still have them.

He was like bragging about how cheap it is.

He's like, wow, my god, like what a deal, blah blah blah, and like he spoke about it. We're like twelve minutes straight, Like I finished eating. I was already moving on with my life and I sat back down and he's like, oh my fucking god, like eight dollar more to order, Like I'm not fucking doing that.

Are you're fucking kidding me?

He got so bad, unbelievable and then was like, I'm just gonna do talk about it.

He's like, let's see what their delivery fees are.

Oh no, you found Sonika and you're like, oh my god, damn sonic face.

But it was like a twenty dollars delivery beet because it's literally.

Forty miles away. Yeah. No, So I have This feature on Postmates is really advanced because like you can make carts and then abandon them, but they.

Still say it advance, It's like awful.

No no no, So I have them all saved, so I like will build a car, see the price, catch the vibe of like is this what I really want to put in my body tonight? And then I'll go back and just click order. I was gonna do Shake Shack Joe and the juice Papa John's. I was gonna get a whole ass pizza, but it was an Alfredo cheese pizza, like instead of rep No.

That is literally like not better.

Having a whole Alfredo cheese pizza to yourself, which I won't even get on you sounds really good. Like sometimes I think back to how yummy the Alfredo pasta from Pizza Hut tasted, and I I don't think that's something my adult palette would enjoy, But I remember being like thirteen and having it being like.

Like me and my big hat. Do you remember CEC's pasta Ceci's Pizza pasta?

I think I went to see it.

It was like like wet. It was literally like wet with water and it was so fucking good. It was like the the Alfredo sauce was like like even more liquid than water is liquid, Like it was unbelievable, and it was so good.

There was a place in Miami called Sweet Tomatoes that it, Yes, there was. Don't tell him, I'm lying already, Like what if I called you on your lives?

I don't lie.

Oh girl, we know a few things you love about.

Like, but there was a place and it was like a buffet styled spot and they had like you could get different pastas and spaghettis, and then they would just put whatever.

Sauce was on top.

Their Alfredo sauce was literally Elmer's glue, Like it was literally pure white, like there was no sight of like pepper or anything else in the mix.

I genuinely think they got like.

Cans of Alfredo sauce and just poured it into a big vat and then would just like mix it up and get it on your bowl. But that ship was so fucking good, Like it literally tasted like Tubby Custard.

It was.

I loved Tubby Custard in high school.

Oh I love Toubby custar, like you eat in it like, oh my.

God, Well no, I thought you were referencing Yup Duck.

Oh no no, no, oh yeah, that is Tubby cus. We called it that that was Tubby Custard, and then the Chai latte from Melrose was Go Go Juice.

Yeah yeah, yeah. Ran in high school, I took a culinary like class, like oh okay, like I took. I took the cook class. No culinary colinary, Edward Colon. No, I took a culinary class, and we had to like build like hypothetical restaurants and we would have to like build out the business plan and everything. No, we're not even getting into emoji restaurant. That's actually so advanced and like nobody talks about it.

Drew calling all of his schizophrenic ideas advance.

Like they would make millions of dollars. I'm not kidding.

Emoji restaurant is the one thing that I do agree with. Drew Moji would put you in the negatives, like.

Oh, Drew, Moji is actually like unironically like genuinely coming soon.

That's just income.

Yeah, exactly.

Why do you get someone to make a really shitty app next time?

When I say it's coming soon, it's literally unironically coming soon.

You want on fiver trying to find somebody who can make it a sticker work.

Actually, but I took this. I built this restaurant, and I still to this day actually do think it's a great idea. But basically, you go in and you build your bull of like noodle soup, like you point the pasta you want, You point the sauce that you want, You point like the toppings that you want. Exactly. It's like Chipotle, but for like ramen or uh spaghetti like and I and the teacher was gagged. She was like, she was like, I've literally never received that.

There's a bit on Granbarry. She's like, wait, what's ramen? Yeah?

Yeah, that's another thing. If we built a Ramen restaurant in Granberry, I would literally like run Granberry. I would literally become the mayor of Grandberry. Grandbury. Okay, bring up the uh.

Oh the thing I watched. Okay.

I feel like a lot of people who are watching this will know what I'm talking about, But Kai, I don't know if you know about this. There was this woman who made a TikTok like a week and a half ago, and I saw it and it made me crack up. But I did not know she was gonna follow it with a fifty part series explaining the story.

Each Each episode is ten minutes it's fifty parts. It is like eight hours hours to.

Finish, and I was that was watching on double speed, but.

Like, instead of Fortnite, you've been watching that.

Yeah, I haven't even had time for Fortnite because I've been doing my search because I'm so dedicated to the podcast. That's the thing is everybody around me was like, can you stop watching that? I was like, no, I need something to talk about, and I'm gonna watch this. Also, I'm just naturally very nosy, and i want to know

Shut I'm like, really powerful, so stupid because he has millions in offshore accounts all to turn out to be a felon who's a pathological liar, and his family's disconnected to him and one of the people he was claiming to talk to was somebody.

Like multiple people who were dead. He would lie about people being dead all the time, all this shit. Obviously that TikTok blew up because they were like, what the fuck are you s saying right now? Because it sounds not real. She goes into detail that she met this guy on a dating app. The first date, she at like when it happened, she was like, wow, this is a sign from God that this man and me are meant to be because on the way to the date,

A new tire, took her out to dinner.

They got along, well, they were both I know, she found the last real man and it turned out he's a liar, so he actually was the last real man on this earth. But whatever, like this whole dramatic thing. They're both I think like late thirties, early forties, so both of them. On the first date, he was on his like love, Oh wow, well you're pushing thirty now.

No, I'm fucking I don't even fucking say that.

We have to talk about that after, Yeah, Basically, I don't want to take a time saying this because it's literally three hours worth of content I'm trying to put down, but I'll say my favorite parts. He lied about basically working at Hines, like the condement company. He lied that he was a VP at Hines. He lied that he played football in college and that's where all his money

He forged a chase letter of for almost two.

Years, like a year in she started to realize and put the pieces together that he was lying. He would take her to all these like he would sign legal documents saying he could put a cash offer for seven fifty k on houses all the time.

So like in.

Her like on her right, she had no reason to think he was lying because and she kept saying that she was like in my head, no saying human would legally find themselves to a seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars cash offer if they didn't have that, And he was paying for things in her life, so she was like it kind of made sense.

He would talk on.

The phone every morning at six fifteen, d as, that's how you know you're a good liar if you can wake up at the ass crocodan and get right to your lying like you were crazy.

He would talk to his brother every morning, but to.

The point of being like hey, John says hi, and she'd be like, oh, Tim, I say, He's like, yes, she said hi, Okay, how are you?

She said, She's good?

Was the call made up?

Like?

Yes? He was never on the phone. He was never.

Reminded me of his that fucking video of the dude in the restaurant, like getting interviewed for that documentary, and he's like on the phone and he's acting like hot, like shot like rich dude like and he's like hold on, like the President is calling me, and he holds his phone up to his ear and it's this screen and he has a full conversation with the screen president who is that guy? I'm gonna find it. I'm gonna find it because it's so funny.

But yeah, I shit like that.

He lied about his grandma dying from COVID, his uncle dying from COVID, and his stepdaughter dying from COVID. He lied about three deaths, just randomly, like when she got over the house, because she was like, I don't feel like we're ever gonna get a house. Something about this is feeling fishy. He basically just got off on telling her things and seeing her reaction, and he would just lie about people dying. He one day just like decided that he was like, I'm so tired of working at Hines,

Life he still has the lie going.

No, turned out he was a felon.

He literally was a felon because he impersonated an officer and was going into random people's houses and he ended up getting arrested because he she filed for divorce.

She kicked him out all the shit. He also had like a busted.

Knee that he claimed it was from football and was like bedridden for two months and pissing empower aid bottles and like, dude, it was so insane. But the story ends with him being a convicted filing felon going to jail.

But then I'm about to fill you in. I was gonna say that that's amazing story. Okay, show me this.

Okay, So are there any scandals you can talk about?

We one can't talk about ninety right, dude, I don't know who this is. Can I pick this up real quick? Okay, this is Kamine. Can I help you? Listen? When you say a list, we're talking like Brad Pitt. We're talking. Hold on one second. This must have not scripted. Can you tell me exactly who it is?

All right?

Let me let me claim when I'm going breakfast and I'm away from these.

People, and he just keep sucking all answered it and then the phone draw, the call drops and you just see all his notifications.

Imagine being a scam color on the other end talking to this like skitzo. Dude, that's like having a conversation with you about selling ourt and like you just yeah.

Someone trying to sell you bootleg life insurance and they're.

Like okay, when you're saying a list, what do you mean?

Bra?

Imagine being the people like recording it and like catching him doing that. That would be so fucking lit.

But yeah, I spent three hours of my life watching this woman talk about her crazy.

It would have been six, but you were watching in double speed, which is yeah.

Also, he would take her to car dealerships and promised her he would get her a BMW.

X five with like literally you leather interior.

Yeah, literally, me going to car dealerships all the time being like yeah, I'm gonna get this, and I mean.

Like, actually I can.

You literally don't.

I don't believe in getting a new car. The new cars are ugly and they're fake and they're meant to fail.

Yeah. I literally hate my car so much and I'm not kidding. I would actually be excited if it exploded, Like I literally would. I would be so so oh my god, God. Actually, uh, maybe there are real men. When you blow my car up for me, you'll blow it up for me.

Insurance, you're saying there is like a percentage of a population that's always like these prolific liars, Like you're talking about the the there's always going to be like one person a year that does that, gets really high up and does fake sign language for the president.

Yeah, yeah, I don't remember what the conversation was, but like I always think that there's like there's like the Tinder swindler.

There's always like one guy a year that pulls this sho oh.

It was Drew saying that, like they are the true entrepreneurs because people that good will like literally they want it so bad they will get to the level that it is profitable.

But the thing about this lies it literally wasn't profitable.

No. Also, he profited a P word.

No, they that was the other thing is they didn't have like an intimacy life because he was also a cheater.

So he was also cheating and he was like paying for sex. She went through his phone and he was paying for sex with other people. So they literally like it was so odd, like he was just a fucking crazy person. And God bless her, and I hope she was on the TikTok creator fund because she deserves a.

Bad He definitely got there after the first three videos.

Yeah, I hope. So he was mid, why can't you why can't people online just hear a story.

And be like that's literally I don't know you.

I don't know your business. I kind of do, but you gave a good thing of not saying it.

I literally have a note saying, y'all gotta start keeping shit to yourself. Please accept us obviously, like accept this. But I've just seen so many tiktoks of people blowing the fucking spot up, like literally like three of our low key like like, oh, this is a vibe, but like I don't want the public to know about this vibe because they'll ruin it and they'll change, the businesses

Wait, are they gonna like gas leaks?

Baby? No, like just a bunch of people, are they now?

God forbid one of those businesses blow up.

You're done. You're literally it's like me like them actually finding bodies in Central Park?

Did they actually.

No, No, No, they haven't yet.

There's gotta be one, That's what I'm saying, Like at the bottom of the pond or some shit like I'm okay, I gasped while you were telling that, because I cannot believe I forgot this and this is what I wanted to start with. But I left the house this morning to go run a couple of errands, and while I was at a light, there was this dude kind of like writhing around on the floor. It's raining, like he was like rolling around and kind.

Of war she was taking the chance what she saw.

Right, yeah, literally, but he was like rolling around. And then I've never seen like someone stand up as fast as he did. Like I like blinked, and he went from laying to like standing, and it was like it literally felt like I was hallucinating, like like I'm it was. It was unreal. And then like he like slowly turns his head and locks onto the car in front of me, and it's like this older gentleman in the car, and

Remember when someone tried to get into Orian's car. Oh yeah, I left the gallery thing. Orian was stopped at a light and something similar happened.

The guy was like just on the street, like acting a fool kind of yelling and screaming, and Ryan was trying not to look. And then she in her perferle saw him coming closer and to the passenger door. O'rian also drives like the oldest car ever.

It's a gadget.

Yeah, she drives her gadget, And so she had to like lean over fast and lock.

It, and he came and was like jiggling the handle trying.

To get to her, and she just had to drive off because she got scared and she had to run the red light.

I just feel so bad for women.

Didn't you say that we should normalize chasing women?

I think, But.

It's like episode sixty seven.

Were like literally like brain purposes. Yeah, it's like get quicker on your feet.

Oh oh you you believe in chasing women to prepare them for.

The Yeah, okay, Oh I deleted every note.

You say that every three episodes.

And me and Drew are like good guys.

Oh they're good guys anymore because we always finished last and like no one appreciates it.

Nice guys finished last. Wow, treat you like trash glass? They ate, They ate with that fucking song. Oh any of them? Are they alive? I was there twenty two when that came out, so they must be.

What's not hay there Delilah? But there was like another dude, like another emo guy. Well, it doesn't matter because I don't know what I'm talking about. I tease it was it was like one of them, But I don't say that.

I don't know you, and yes.

Yes, yes, I just watched your type. Yes, dude, that was a fucking banger. But I found out he's like an awful person or something. Classic classes, And it seems like that always happens except for me. Aren't good When I start my music career, I'm not gonna like switch up, like I'm gonna be like the same old guy. I'm not gonna let the power to get into my head. And I have a couple of bars that I wrote down that I feel like could change the world.

Are you gonna read them?

Should I read them like spoken poetry? Or should I like wrap them a little bit?

You should wrap.

Them, but you I know you won't be able to because you're on camera and you have to read right now.

I know it's so bad. It's so bad. Okay, I feel like I'm Bob Miley the way I'm smoking on this cush. What if the moon crashed under the earth, we'd all be squished.

It's fushed.

No, it's squished. Y'all be getting it wrong the whole time.

Well when you said that, okay, to clarify, we got off our flight, and I don't know what happens to Drew when we get off flights. But I've realized that is when you hit peak like activity. It's because after activity along he has to just talk a bunch. And we got in the car with Josie. Josie picked us up god blass, and I'm dead from this flight. I feel crazy. Drew is in the backseat going crazy because when the crowd goes crazy, I go okay, And when

Yeah, he just kept getting worse and worse and worse.

I love build a bear workshop. I lay pipe like I work in the shop. Period popped your mama in the face. I can't tell my left from my right anymore. I think my brain is fried from scoring basketball. Red dot laser beam.

I think it's just like it would be good.

Let me cook, dude. I fucked up the vibe in here with that.

We were trying to record that because, as we've said on the podcast, we'll record like random songs. Yeah, we're just like, we're just such passionate creative people.

Sometimes we have to just let it.

And I like to create for myself sometimes because if I create for the world, it becomes a job, you know. So I like to create for myself and just really let loose.

Even though every time we listen back to any of the songs, it's like Josie has Kryptonite on his computer because when he plays it, we literally melt and we deteriorate.

And it took Drew ten times to get.

That first bar right, Okay, Tindo's Tint's Down Challenge. I did the Cinnamon challenge to end my life. That shit eight You know that? You know the video?

No? No? Oh wait is it you wrapping on ice?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, let me find it. I got that shit saved up here too.

Hold on.

I wonder if anybody I guess, no no mind as I say. I wonder if anybody finds your page and follows you seriously and then sees your highlights but you're decent.

Yeah, I did the Cinnamon challenge in my life. It didn't work, so I grabbed him.

Cutting off.

I fucking should we talk about the new AI models that came out that are really actually horrifying.

You and Ki can be men and talk about that kind of shit.

Girls just don't have the brains to do that. That's why you can't do.

No, yes they do.

No, they don't. That's what nice guys think. Nice guys think girls have brains, but we don't.

Like I'm girls want a mean guy.

Assholes yea, assholes.

Okay, Well, Sora Ai just dropped and we'll like insert a clip or two of like what it is creating. And it's the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. And like I saw a bunch of other people talking about this and this was my first thought as well. But like my biggest fucking fear ever in my life is like going to prison for a crime I didn't commit, Like a crime was committed and I just somehow became a suspect and I go to jail, like because.

You look like every other bitch. So they would just see the person be like that's true.

Oh wow, that accounts dedicated to me.

Yeah exactly, I'm different.

Okay, so your fear is going yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was so bad that in high school and the drug dogs would come, I would like zip up my bag and hold it on the front of my chest because I was like literally so scared that someone was going to put their weed in my bag and I was going to be out of like a camera, like the cameras couldn't see, so I was just like horrified

But if that happened, if we live in that world, doesn't that mean that nothing online is like valid and.

Ere imagine the porn.

Oh. Also, yeah, one of the things that they did Open an Eye, they generated an infinite amount of big oiled a booty compilation.

Oh that's good for us, Okay, actually that's yeah.

I'm pretty sure that's one of our cop viewed the worked up Booty twerking.

Actually, yeah, it's like oiled up.

I think so, just because the title goes so hard.

Oh well, you're thinking of the negatives. I'm thinking of the positives. I'm gonna have Ai generate me front row at the Chanel's show, sitting next to in a winter having a conversation, and then post it on my ig story with a heart and just tag Chanel and be very casual about it, and then people will circulate it and then.

Channel who invite her? I don't remember inviting her, but we need to invite her next.

Year because how viral this moment is my only saving grace for the story of Ai was. I was like, oh, like, yeah, you can make these videos, but like this sound doesn't exist. They're not generating sound. Nope. Eleven Labs. Now, lets you describe a word or describe a sentence or a sound that you want to hear in a sentence, and it'll fucking develop it. It'll look at the video.

Yeah, I think you can also just look at Yeah, just watches the video and then it does it. You don't even have to use your words.

We're over, we're over down, We're about to have eighteen new TikTok artists who are making their music via that AI the eleven Labs thing, and it's going to be the worst music you've ever heard, and it's going to do so well since TikTok took off.

Umg okay, that's what no one's talking about. I remember when TikTok removed all that licensed music. I had said to somebody, because you're greedy.

And you just want all the revenue to yourself.

Yeah, and I don't give it to the fucking artists. I don't give a fuck about the artist. It's about line in my pockets and my pockets only, I mean.

Honestly, respect, Like that's what a true like CEO boss would do. You have now been demoted.

You have now been demoted.

But because of that, I was saying to somebody, I think it was our manager. I was like, I'm so curious what all these TikTokers who, Because even personalities on TikTok still kind of rely on that music to a certain aspect, like everybody can survive without it for the most part. But so many people post like compilations of their years and like their days and day in the lives where they don't want to talk. They just want

Music you've ever heard. Like people are matching up like.

Britney Spears and Phoebe Bridgers just to get a vibe of both, just to like feel something for their TikTok compilation. And it's some of the worst thing I've ever heard. And I think at this point people are now just brain rotted and trying to ignore the fact that it's like your favorite creator talking about their day. But in the background it's like can't be tamed and like sixteen

Off with TikTok.

Oh what's Title?

It's Oh, it's jay Z's fucking streaming service. Hello.

I sold that for three hundred and fifty million dollars, by the way, and I don't I have literally I have not met a single person that has used Title.

I will say when Title came out, I did use it because he released him and Beyonce's was it Lab album or yeah, seven seven seven was on there, and their collab album I think was originally only on there, so you had to have it. But then obviously they were like, bitch, no one's getting this. Fuck four or four we were thinking of just like other.

Good luck and stuff like seven seven seven.

I keep seeing six six, I keep seeing numbers, keep seeing angel.

The Angels are.

One of the funniest things I've ever seen on the internet was the Angel's number thing, Like, bitch, you think like you seeing these numbers is like a sign like no, you're just on your phone fourteen hours a day, Like literally, I know.

What's your screen time been at? Have you been better?

Uh? Pretty good? Let's check. Yeah, daily average is just four hours.

Oh let me see.

Let me see today's Monday, So that's hours.

That doesn't really count.

It was it was eight hours and thirty three. But in my defense, in my defense, I left my phone playing TikTok's just the same TikTok for literally like forty five minutes twice, So like take an hour and a half away from that.

How did that happen?

Because I was like getting I was in the bathroom, and I was in the bath and I was just like too lazy to get out of the bath. That was two days ago actually, so that's the tea on that And yesterday it was all.

Eight hours and thirty minutes too yesterday.

FLA and oh my god, wait, I was nine hours last Sun bad You're bad as fuck.

I was only three hours on Thursday because I was just like present.

I literally have just only used my phone for a fifteen minutes.

Why is my only two hours and twenty minutes.

Though it's the Fortnite and the three D rendering. Okay, it's the Fortnite and the three D rendering for me.

We need to check an updated count on how many hours I've spent on Fortnite, Like, we need to look at that.

Actually, I haven't been playing.

As like I've kind of fallen off the past week.

What did you say about hole? Y'all?

I watched Spider Man Across the Spider Verse, and nobody's.

Talking about that movie. Like the first one, No, the second one.

Oh, I saw the first one that you have to watch.

The second one is advanced.

It is so insane.

I started it on the plane and within the first five minutes I was so tapped in. But it was the worst rendering ever because we were flying Alaska and the doors were about to be pulled off of the plane, so the Wi Fi couldn't being captured into that tube.

It was.

So I waited till we got to the hotel.

And I watched it the fly home from Maryland. I'm not kidding. Was the plane was like three decades older than me. I like, I'm not exaggerating, like look at this, look at this shit. Like I could no TV.

There was no power outlets. There was a wall of carpet.

There was literally tape on chairs, tape on chairs. It was falling apart at the seams. And then there was like the most eighties fucking carpet walls I've ever seen in my life.

Also, okay, humans are so insane. Because I was deep in rim sleep on that plane and we had the nearliest turbulence I've felt in a minute, because it was one of those like big drops and like continuous shakings and like another drop, and I woke up from it and I felt all the adrenaline in my body rushing immediately, like I've never woken up and been so like I was almost shaking with adrenaline because my brain was activated and like, Okay, it's time to survive.

It's time to survive. And I was.

Actually shocked by that feeling because I was like, wow, maybe humans are meant to survive.

No, that's literally all I think about is when I get fight or flat, I'm like wait, like actually I'm not suicidal and I just actually want to live, like that's the team.

Well you know what it is.

It's because it's like my like in like Eternal Battle of I will kill myself before anybody else kills me. And that's one of those things where it's like, okay, bitch, that's my decision to make, Like you are not gonna fucking kill you, Like I'm not giving yourself on the airplane.

I'm not kidding.

Clearly, if I sat there and I thought about the probability of whether I would survive that crashing, I would kill myself. I'm not about to spend the next five minutes terrified, Like are you kidding me?

My biggest wish is I just hope it passes out, Like I just hope I pass out before it happens. Like that's all I could think about is I was asleep and then like I was jolted awake, and I was like, bro, if we're gonna crash, just like, let me sleep, like literally please, Like, but I.

Did fall asleep immediately after. Once I detected no danger, I knocked the fuck back out. So maybe I'm not ready to survive because I could feel I'm not kidding. I've never felt that I could all the blood rushing in my arms, like it felt like I was Popeye and I ate Spinach, and I could feel my arms getting stronger, like I was about to rip off the roof of the plane and jump out.

Okay, Also, why don't think it was parachutes? Like, come on, stop playing with me. I'm gonna start trying.

We really do, like try to fucking like save money and cut corners like they could give us parashote.

But I guess also you have to be able to know how to use the parachute, because I would jump out of that activate my parachute too soon to get wrapped up in it. Everyone got like a like I just crashed into the earth.

Yeah, they're saving us money, they're trying to they're trying to take my money.

Did you guys see that someone crapped themselves at the k Pop Award show.

No, oh yeah, wait, you brought that up like a few weeks ago.

No, that was at the Taylor Swift concert. Oh, someone like crapped all over themselves at the the twenty twenty four K Pop Award Show.

Are you kidding me?

And then they had this startar a fan I think it was a fan. Yeah, it says fan confessing to poop in their pants and they had to stop performing because it smelled like the smell went all the way to the front.

That is so insane.

Well, sorry, sorry, I ruined the capop.

Why did they poop themselves?

Like?

Were they holding their spaces?

But it was literally I was waiting in line for like hours and there was no bathroom and then I ran to the front of the building to get the best seat in the house. And I just if I had to either hop the barricade and go shit and pray they would let me come back and hop the barricade and get back in my spot. That's not fucking happening. So I was just like, I'm just gonna shit out of my skirt. You know, she was wearing a skirt like you know that that.

What's crazy too, is like to poop yourself by accident or like you can't hold it anymore, it has to be diarrhea. So you know that shit like such a gross conversation. Also, while we're talking about poop, we got to the airport at like six am when we were leaving for Maryland, and I am not kidding or yeah, when we were leaving Maryland, I have never smelt that many morning shit in my life.

In that bathroom, I was like, y'all are fucking.

Disgusting in the girl's bathroom.

Yeah, oh, girls poop. Now we got an update. We got an update. You know how talk about did their Apple event? Women had an Apple event where we announced the new iOS update and we can poop now finally our butts are used to I just don't find that.

Can we pause? Can we just take a break because I need I.

Just need to like process the cremation.

What the hell?

Dude, If you guys are ever blessed enough to live with a woman, you might find that she poops like a lot.

Actually I live with you.

No you don't. I don't let you sleep here anymore. Oh then a woman?

Okay, so I drank for the first time since we're on like a nasty fucking vibe. We'll just go there. I drank for the first time in a very long time. One I was in control, and it was a vibe. I had a single margarita and then a second margarita at the party, so I did not drink that much.

Well what the fuck is it?

Oh, you're talking about your poop ummm.

But yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no. I drank for the first time. It was a vibe whatever. It felt so good that I've drank every day since, all day long, every day, and it's to the point where like I wake up in the morning shaking and all I do is have a beer and I feel.

Better, Like that work, That's what I do.

It's actually like a vibe. But yeah, I realized I'm old as fuck the day I drank, Like I realized, I was like I'm an old man, and I was having a conniption fit about it. Before I was like literally like vouch for me, I was. I came in here after like freaking the fuck out of my bedroom because I was like, oh, I'm like twenty six and like a week like that's not that deep. I have

He even met twenty six and he's sitting around he was like the whole day he was like, guys, I'm gonna be twenty seven in a year, and I was like, technically, in a year, you're gonna be twenty six.

And then we went to this party and I was like mustache old guy on the dance floor, like, and it was so scary, boots, what's funny is?

I don't think there was like we were definitely amongst the younger crowd there because it was kind of shockingly like a lot of older people there.

But I also felt that there was.

A moment where I was looking around and I was like, ohay, yeah, I'm like twenty five at this party right now, Like something about this feels funky.

But the party was cute as fuck.

Yeah, it was super fun.

It was. But I'm so insecure about my age now, which is like not even a bad age, because I know, bit just hate when we talk about our age because they're like, y'all swear you're old.

Wait, people actually talk about that.

Yeah, people have been like and your talk's like she's like forty two sometimes and she's literally twenty four. But I think they mean that when I'm talking about life experiences and being serious, it's actually so rude because you don't know my fucking story, bitch, and you never fucking will. And I bet you wish you knew me on a deeper level, but you just will never know me.

And that's where that hit comes from. That's where the anger inside comes from.

My anger is I thought you met my I was like, it does come from the ops, but yeah, I felt old. Also, are you not going to talk about your experience the next day, which proves that your body like just rejects alcohol?

Oh yeah, yeah, I forgot. So I drank for the first time, Like I consider that like real drinking, Like it's not binge drinking. But it was like like it was more than a fucking sip of alcohol or like a quarter of a shot like that was that was like I had two full drinks and it was a fucking vibe. I came home and was the most like nausse. After I had the first drink, I was extremely nauseous.

It didn't help that our car ride to the party was the most jolting car ride I've ever been in, Like it felt like it broke my neck.

My neck has been hurting since we've gotten in that car.

Yeah, And then got home after having the second drink, and I was so nauseous, Like I felt fine, and then all of a sudden, like a wave of nausea hit me that I haven't felt since the last time I drank like this, and I just like immediately retired to bed. I like had food, I couldn't even think about eating it, Like I brought it to my room just in case. I like woke up and was like, Okay, I need to eat food, but like I just couldn't even like fathom eating a meal right then, and then

Your body can't feel anything other than the subpar normal it rests at because Drew will be like.

I subpar normal well, because you're.

Always in some sort of pain, so you're ever just normal. There's always something to talk about. I do it, always something lingering. It's always like I have black mold. I'm like not getting enough oxygen like something. Something is always happening, so.

You won't let hypoxy you go.

Ever, you that was the craziest thing you've ever said.

No, it was probably the most advanced thing I ever said. And they probably wrote thesises and papers about it.

You're the first human to self diagnose your up with hypoxia. Like, I'm pretty sure you have to get tested to see your oxygen intake.

I have a tester.

Yeah, I was gonna say, my dermatollergist has the same thing, and she won't let you sit in that room unless you're taking over ninety five percent intake. But yeah, you had that, and then I just also felt like shit, And then yesterday we were both dead and brain rotted and we're just old now.

So you guys might not At the party, there was at the party. Yeah, literally, you're over. This is over. At the party, there was top hat lady that I thought was like literally I thought she was like this evil overlord because she was talking to like all these people and was like, like it looked like the conversations were super intense and like really long, and like there were people that we knew, and I was just like, who is this lady?

Yeah, like do they need help? Should be in this conversation?

And then like my conspiracy brain started spiraling and I was like, oh, like this like is like adrenochrome, Like she's like trying to get these kids to eat like stem cells or some shit, like giving me crazy energy. And then we went inside. I ignored it. Then we went back outside like an hour and a half later, and she was berating and yelling at another person, and I was like, oh, fuck, like this is actually like a person.

Like two hours and she was on the same couch just talking with someone different.

I'm not trying to flex here, but they were famous people, like that's that's an important part of this contract.

So we were like, what is she doing to them? Yeah, won't she leave them alone? And then I was nosy and I was like, Okay, I need to know what the fuck is her vibe. So we sat on like a stoop right next to her because I was like, I need to hear it. And then I heard her say some shit about and that's what I see in your future.

And I turned around and she was a card reader, and I literally thought she was trying to get these kids to shoot up adrin or chrome or like some shit.

And we were like, gods, we need to help them. We need to help them, bitch. They were literally getting.

Their yeah, and then I was like wanting to get mine red, but I did it. I want to go to a fucking psychic, so goddamn bad, like, but it's not. It's obviously like literally not in my cards because it would have happened if like it was meant to happen, Like I genuinely believe that, Like I'm not supposed to get my cards read because it's gonna tell me I'm in a fucking die or some shit.

We we don't know if I believe in it, but I will say the last time I got my cards read, they were really on point, like everything that they said was gonna happen happened. But then in my head, I'm like, I'm the kind of bitch you can't tell me some shit because I'll just like do it, Like you can't tell me, oh, this is gonna happen because and I'm like, yeah,

And then I just do it. So part of me.

I wish I believed in like psychics and tarot cards and like zodiac signs and stuff. But I'm just the kind of crazy person that if you tell me it's gonna happen, I just make it.

We are the daughters of the witches. They didn't burn. Like that's literally me, Like with me putting on that on my Tumblr should have been a sign like that's.

Aside for what like you being crazier straight?

Oh have you seen that little hippie girl talked about like case? Yes, okay, Well I wrote a couple of things that I thought were funny. Me when my phone dies is that girl? Me when I recycle a bottle at the airport. Me when I intentionally don't grab a plastic lid for my cup, Me when I use a tote bag.

That's that's That's how I feel.

When I go to the grocery store and I don't put any of my produce in the plastic bags, I just put them in the car. That's the craziest like thing ever is putting your produce in those little plastic bags like that ship is always so annoying to me, Like having to get rid of all the plastic bags.

When I get home, do y'all get me or.

I'm because those are covered in like baby diaper pooh.

That's why I put it. Yeah, for immus, it's weird.

It's like it's like how you let kids like you let dogs like lick your kids so that they build community.

You know what I realized I'm gonna start doing, or not start doing, but when I have children, what I'm going to do is by then I'll be living on like a farm with like the Appalachian mountains in the background, and like it's like forested woods or like the Parisian countryside, and there's just like forests behind my house. After breakfast every single day, I'm gonna tell my kids to get the fuck out of the house and go and explore

Like soda pop, not even water.

No, hell no, they'll have to drink creek water. I'm not kidding. Like we need to start like sending kids outside again, Like it's we're down bad because look what happens.

It's his apple vision pearl.

Look what happens.

Yeah. I wasn't allowed outside after the age of like thirteen, So.

Yeah, all right, should we do sign up corner? Yeah, Drew.

Side like changing it.

Ah, he's like edging us.

Now, fuck, don't do that.

Don't do that.

Ship.

I what the it smells like gas?

It always smells like gas.

Kaya comes into our house and says, Oh it smells like ship today, or oh it's so fucking dirty in here. Oh, I'm not even gonna get into it.

I'll never forget sand falling out of your shoes. Yeah, you can say whatever you.

Want about I don't know if that happen.

I don't know say whatever you want about the gas. But we have a clip of sand falling out of your shoe.

Squear almost frog like toe detail.

Kai, the sands falling out of your shoes, fell out of your.

Sand, fell out of that.

That's crazy.

You are literally like disappearing on camera.

That cannon of the podcast goes crazy.

Okay, well, let's get into SIAP corner. What the fuck is l g B t Q plus question mark? Question mark question mark? Y'all got gay premium Paramount plus.

Right right.

Damn. Now that I'm rereading these back, these fucking suck bad. Just go. I finally realized why y'all got belly button piercings. It's so y'all can hang an air freshener over that musty ass puss.

That's a good one.

Girls with low iron be like big things coming. Yeah, a fall, that's you. I know. Literally, I had to like brace myself yesterday.

I need to faint soon.

I can make that happen.

Painting is very feminine. It's such a feminine activity.

I did write things that I think Enya did find icky, like its of things that I do that Inya like has told me, I'll just do these real quick and then we'll get to them. Mm Nope, that's it.

Okay.

I was just gonna say, God knew what he was doing not giving me a vagina, because that shit would have been ran through a vagina. Yeah, like it would have been fucked. No, I don't want to do.

The ex Okay, why Okay, this is what Drew thinks I find icky about him. Enya's X for me walking on rocks barefoot and my feet hurting from it, wearing red shoes, meal prepping, treading, wading through water. No, that is That's why I was saying, like, imagine dating a man and watching him like walk through water, like that is so embarrassing.

Hula hooping, swim goggles or flip flops, tying hoodie around waist, that has always grossed me out.

Like I think it's like sheets, Like I'm not even kidding.

I think it's never been chic.

No, the way Kai does it is like kind of cunty.

Like when you do it over thel that gets a pass around your hips is crazy.

But I think that eats about women.

Like even if there was a fine ass girl who I was like, oh my god, I need her, let her take that zip up off and wrap it around her waist. I'm literally gonna fucking rip it in half, like I'm gonna use my teeth to tear it up and leave her with scraps. Walking down a hill, what I have to cough because water goes down the wrong pipe. Jumping at a concert and having a food allergy.

Food allergies are really It's so.

Funny that you said that because literally yesterday I was doing something and I immediately like I was like, oh, my God, and you would find this Like one mail aic, I was like reaching up to get fiber cereal in my kitchen and I was like getting on my tippy toes and I had to like jump and like barely grasp.

It, and you like.

Just start at that point, just don't fucking eat like this. Don't do it. It's not worth it.

It'd be different if like we were back to like climbing trees and shit. But like jumping to a cabinet, No, that is embarrassing. Even someone getting a stool, like that's so embarrassing.

Just leave it up there.

Us the week.

I'm trying to think what else, Like, is what.

Have I done recently that you were like you didn't even say anything to me because you didn't want to hurt my feelings. But you were like, why the fuck did he say or do that? I mean everything I say, you literally are like you are actually insane.

I can't think of anything specific that you've done that's like eked me out recently.

Good.

Yeah, no, I can't think of anything.

The one thing you do that not a lot of people can think of anything.

Oh no, because I just thought one the one thing he does that aicks me out. But it's like, because I feel like I'm standing in a room with my child. Is when you like leaving the hotel, when the door hit your hip and you're like.

Oh, this is gonna ruin my fucking day. Is gonna rum my whole fucking day.

Like when he goes into spouts like that, I literally ignore it because it cks me out.

And I know that if I even interact with him, I'm like, oh my god, are you okay. He's like no, I'm literally not, like I'm not okay, Like to.

Stop and you do the same thing. Well, sometimes I'm literally so it ticks me out a little bit too. Yeah. No, but that door was like eighty six thousand pounds and I fucking I was walking out and it hit my hip and it bruised me. It literally caused Actually.

That's also an ick, like a man having a hip bruise, Like, what.

Are you doing closing the drawer with that? That is me. I will shut the refrigerator with my fucking hips, And that's not icky. I don't give a fuck no.

Use your foot like using your hip.

Yeah.

Something that I do that is icky to me is I will literally instead of taking the drink out of the refrigerator. I will just sit in the refrigerator and drink the soda and then put it back, then walk away and then come back like five minutes later and have another sip. That's not necessarily an ick, but it's more of like like just take the sode out of the refrigerator, Like literally, what am I doing?

It's like wasting energy? So you want to leave the.

Yeah, fuck it? Fuck it all right?

Media the week? My media is John Water movies. Did I say that last week?

Probably?

I don't think I did, because I don't think we've recorded since I went to the exhibit, because I think I went on Saturday. I watched almost every John Waters movie ever and he is.

So watched six movies and forty eight hours list them.

I know I watched Whoa I like. I hate that letterbox. I will like like a movie, but it won't show what the hell I watched? Like, hello, wait, let me see someone else films? Okay, I just say fucking movies, bitch, Why is this app saying films?

That's what I'm saying.

Watched cry Baby, Cereal mom a Dirty Shame, spider Man across the spider Verse Polyester. I rewatched Jojo Rabbit, and I watched the The BlackBerry Movie, and my favorite was The Spider Man movie and Serial Mom. Serial Mom by John Waters is one of the best movies, and I feel like if it came out now, it would be a blockbuster hit because it's so funny.

And I hate that nobody talks.

About how good the Spider Man Across the Spider verses, like I feel like I'm the first person to talk about, like, what a good movie that is. It just like deserves its flowers.

That's my teeth.

I watched this film. It only had like three thousand fucking views, but it was two guys naked wrestling and penetrating each other. It was really beautiful.

Actually, you said that was a film that's my it's my bit.

Wow.

So have you said that before?

He said it last week?

Did you Actually you don't remember that?

No?

I literally yes.

He said that his movie of the week was like two guys fucking and I was like, oh my god, that's crazy.

I saw that and the recommended my movie.

Dude, that is like fucking me up right now, that is crazy.

No, I think it was last week. I was telling my friend a joke and then they cracked up, and then I just realized it was a bit that you guys said on the podcast.

That's good, that's good, keep our legacy going, yeah, because I won't be here much longer.

I watched this Zach Gallifanakis like animated movie that came out like Pete in the peak of Pandemic, and I literally did not hear a single fucking word about this movie. And I guarantee when they were making and releasing this shit that if the pandemic happened, it probably would have

Of Yeah, it's like with everything, like we'll get a bunch of good stuff and we'll get a bunch of really bad stuff, but all the bad stuff is worth it because then we get like this podcast, like things like that out of it, out of all.

You don't know it feels good until you feel bad.

Wow, shut the fuck up. My music media of the week is.

Goodbye Horses by Q Lazarus, Silver Line by Sheer mag Caroline, Goodbye by Colin Bluntstone, and Waterloo Sunset the Kinks.

Wow, I'm trying to think of that fucking movie it's called like Rob with the.

Prob Ron's Gone wrong?

Yeah, Ron, Wait, I kind of ate with Rob has a prob What's the prob rob y'a la am I A bring the noise? Am I A Sexodus? M I A the Weekend? Actually no exodus? Okay, right right, yeah right, Vince Staples. I rel listened to that song after seeing the Vince Staples Show and I was like or not seeing it but watching it behind y'all shoulder, and I was like, damn, Like, this is a banger and it always will be Brazil Cornelius and I'll give y'all Noah's art,

Oh yeah, well we're gonna get you can't play that, just do it.

Sing it, go ahead, sing it, let me let me hear the words.

Oh all right, thanks for listening. Guys, you are amazing. Thank you so much.

I love you, oh so