Drew Still Doesn't Shower

Welcome this episode of Emergency Intercolm.

Hello, Hello, Hello.

Happy Black Friday, guys, sales, you got be on Friday. This is for this Friday.

No, I thought it was like Friday Friday.

Yeah, Black Fridays after the Friday after Thanksgiving. You know that somebody has never been on the mark.

To get the I'm just not poor, No.

But like Black Friday is a fun activity for everybody.

Shop at Black Friday.

On Black Friday, I go to see yours, Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Walmart.

What's wal Mart?

You've never been to Walmart?

Is that like a poor person? You know what?

Loki, You're like the Walmart version of Justin.

Oh you say, I'm the Walmart version of Justin Bieber. I've actually never shot there, and you've probably shot there a bunch in your life.

And that's why you know I would look like.

I look like Walmart Justin Bieber. But that guy Swedish, I have no idea.

Why is he Swedish? In my head like, oh, of course you have been to Walmart?

Oh of course, yeah, I don't know to do.

A Swedish Jackson was crazy. But I actually, while I was watching the I was thinking about it. Like a lot of my like ego and pride fully came from my dad because we were not in the tax racket to avoid Black Friday. Like also like not to say like anybody could do Black Friday. Black Friday is fucking fun. I love I am. I am top tier consumerists, so a deal will have me buy something. Whether it's a deal or not, I will probably buy it.

And this is literally advertising for Black Friday.

I know it's fucked up, but it's it's a ploy. It's a ploy. They hike up the prices right before so that they can drop them so you feel like you're getting a deal. Newsflash, everyone's scramming.

Over it's all over stock. You know. It's just over consumption and they print too much of what they think everybody wants, and then at the end of the year they sell it all off for pennies just so they can cover their asses. Sewing Q four their numbers don't flop in the entire economy tanks.

But with that being said, I just never did Black Friday because my dad was like, that's like too crazy, Like we can't do that. And then that's probably where I got a lot of my like you've witnessed me do it where I'm like, I can't do that, Like I just can't explain. I just can't do that.

You literally were just doing it over cruises.

Like I just like in my head, I'm like, if I'm gonna do it, I have to like I have to do it with like a bit of a bang, a bit of a pizzazz. You know. I'm the kind of girl I walk into a room and I want to I want y'alls to drop. I don't want people to close their mouth and turn in whispers.

See, it's a real problem for me because when I walk into the room, panties just drop. They just start dropping, man, like everybody.

So that's it's also like.

A tsunami wave forms from all of like you know, the squirt and the piss and the way. Oh you know there, you've seen it happen at the nice guy. I feel awesome right now, Like you're not real, You're not real.

It's the lighting is scary you.

Yeah, we're doing a night episode today because we were supposed to film yesterday so we didn't have to film today, and then we woke up this morning and we were like, fuck, we can't film this morning. Because then it's busy and I have the gym, and then now we're filming at night. But it's like kind of a nice vibe. Honestly, the lighting I can't tell on the camera, but in real life looks insane, like it looks like it's gonna.

Suck insane like camera, it is like a little like that light is a little more white than fluorescent, Like it's pretty fluorescent, which is not a vibe. It's very scary. And I can't believe technology we I can't believe we were ever headed in a direction that we believed that that few of like light.

Belongs to anywhere but in a hospital or cubicle. I think it like like makes people more productive or something like. I don't I don't know the signs behind it, but get that ship out of my fucking.

House now, yeah, I don't believe it out of you know what we mean? We need the lights that they installed at the Pink Wall in the.

Anti night selfie lighting, so like when you take a selfie at night, it turns you literally moss green. It's fucking list.

I saw people we passed by the Pink Wall a few nights ago. I don't remember why but I saw people out there taking photos at I and I was like, look at them, not letting anything stop them. Also, what's gonna stop me from coming to the pink wall with a big, fat ass up?

Oh my god, I don't know. Why do you jump to violance because I mean eco terrorists?

Why do you like but this planet treats too good? Why do you want to do that?

No that I'm fighting for the planet.

Well, don't hurt the ones you.

I'm gonna fly drones into the power grid and shut everything.

Oh my god, I would love to see that, Like, I would literally love to see video that. Do you know how good that would sound? It would be like all of.

That's a good one.

Yeah. Also I need I think I'm done. Okay, I didn't say anything just now that was crazy.

I'm done.

I've been watching a lot like if you know.

Me, if you know my only my only one, stupid, big, so useful. I'm so happy. That's funny. How I'm happy? You know what I'm saying. No, but you're mad, I'm happy.

No, you're mad.

It's funny because I'm happy. I'm not mad. I'm happy.

Oh but I have seen you, the true you, and I know you're not happy girl. Okay, this is like scaring me because I'm like burning like everything around it. This like your little candle is like scaring my other ones. But my big issue, my one fatal flaw, is that

Like I wish we could still smoke on the airplanes. Like that's that's a crazy ass vibe that our parents probably smoked on it not probably smoked on an airplane, but had they wanted to, could have smoked on an airplane. That says we need to bring back indoor smoking. And that's what I've taken. They're taking everything away from us.

Somebody was saying. Somebody replied, the people are saying, so the people, they're saying that it is nasty that I smoked cigarettes. But I am saying it is nasty that you have the audacity to come up to me smelling like the ass crack of a fucking box of fruit loops. Yep, and I'm the nasty one. No, I smell like an adult. I smell like I'm paying my taxes. I smell like I'm filling my car up. You smell like you just wag into a sticky, spit filled ball pit and went

We need to bring showering back, make showering great again.

Bro, you don't shower show wis today?

Actually? Why? Because I was stinky as fuck and I was like, I cannot go to the gym smelling like this because once I start sweating, it's gonna be bad for everybody around me.

Game over, You're gonna to the gym.

Yeah, So then I showered lightly, and then I showered up the gym.

Lightly, a light shower that sounds like you didn't get between those cheeks.

I watched. I washed everything. I even washed my legs because I saw like a Jubilee video of someone asking if someone watching when I literally don't.

Yeah, I knew. I was like, Jude doesn't watch his legs.

I don't give a fuck, and I will never wash my legs because literally, watch the soap from your body go down your legs, like watch it happen. It literally happens. But anyways, I washed my legs because I was like, you know what, I'm a grown asked man, I should watch my but that's I have that written down though.

That just has to be a part of the anti men propaganda agenda, Like like that has to be a part of that, because I genuinely like haven't met but I will say, like straight man's hygiens like is lacking, because even the ones who claim to be straight that I know their hygiene is lacking.

Stinky ass boys, I'm talking about.

You, bitch.

Oh, so if your hygiene is lacking and you're like you take care of yourself very well, like not saying that you stink or whatever, but like not washing your bed.

Sheets and whatnot, yes, and not washing your hands after you pee. Like girl, you add that on top of being a straight man who like punches holes in the world, who just for some reason isn't taught this from that Like.

Damn, maybe you don't.

You were living in a scent bubble of your.

Own, you know what. I'm kind of like, I kind of like you stinky, Like get over here.

Yeah, okay, we've talked about this because like some stink is good, Like okay, because we we okay. When I say, I'm always like, oh, it smells musty in here, and you sometimes will be like, yeah, there's like a musk. But do you separate the words musk and musty like and must.

Yes, I just think I mishear you. But there's a very big difference between musty and musk, Like musk like.

Musky is like I am gonna literally start doing this.

I'm gonna.

I'm gonna be the star on top of that tree right now. If you don't, you know, put something else on your mind's differently. But I must you know what, Sometimes.

I kind of like you must see.

Must use a little sexy sometimes like just a little like I don't want it to like send shockwaves through my fucking brains, and I don't want to get like spinal taps like from like your mustiness. But I like, you know what it is, it's the part of my brain that is still like is like tied to thinking that men are like building houses.

Was it just super silent or like in my trip?

No, it was like deafening silent. For a second, there was a ringing in my I said, like spinal taps because.

I like it's spiny. There's zaps going on in the same time.

Because all of our friends were in the house for like twelve hours and now it is like deadly everybody as.

Loud as fuck all the fucking time.

Hater.

Yeah, I'm a hater. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. Oh, I have it, I have it. Okay, So I was scrolling on Instagram reels.

Okay, you're there.

There's flaw number one. But I was on Instagram reels and I think I heard like the worst song I've ever heard in my entire life. And I'm not joking when I say this, Like it feels like I got transported to like the waiting room for purgatory. Like I had like a full visceral body reaction and like imagining like I've like I've experienced purgatory before, and this is the song that's playing the entire time, Like do you know what I mean? Like this is hell music.

Yes, it gives me like a really icky feeling.

No, do you know what I mean? Like I literally feel like the world is ending when I hear this.

You know what that feels like? It's like what we're describing. Like sometimes me and Drew will accidentally go too long without a meal, and there's just this like feel like almost like a feeling of sickness over you. Like you're not to the point of hunger where you're nauseous, because we.

All have a hunger. We all have a hunger.

Oh tell me what you mean?

Looks so big the way, but like not to the point of hungary where you're like nauseous and you're gonna kill over and die and like you have nothing left in you, but the point of hunger where you're like just a bit sickly feeling and like music sounds awful.

Imagine being in that state of mind and that comes on. I'm not kidding. I think I would.

I would do it. It would I would like it would.

Have been you catch me on a bad day, and then that's my position and that's the song that comes off. I don't know if that's the song that comes on when I'm like like doing something that I really don't want to be doing, like like going to the DMV.

Like that, which going to the DMV? Did he go there to a nice station? Back to the DMV, From the DMV to the lot, back to the DMV, back to lot fifteen twenty minutes up the street back to the DMV and literally still not getting his scar. No, he's been one hundred and forty five dollars in ubers. Not crazy. I think he got his car maybe now, But this was at like four and he was like, I'm freaking the fuck out. Is that not insane? Stop?

I'm so scared.

You need to get that shit figured out. There's a warrant out for Ya's arrest.

I can't say why, but I'm terrified.

It's bad.

Yeah, my dad would literally at this point fucking throw a pant at the back of my head.

And it's deserved. It truly is desserve.

We probably scared our neighbors yesterday really bad. Yeah, I'm gonna admit to that. Yeah. I should just text her and be like, hey, by the way, sorry if we were allowed last night and see what yeah, and engage the vibe. Last night I had the best night of my life though, Like literally last night was a movie for me. Should I like go go through why I was a movie?

Sure?

So it was a movie because all of my bestest friends in the world were over friends Giving and I've just been in my little minor abuse era, which.

Guys getting major, it's giving major.

It's over now, Like you see, last night was like the key I needed to feel satisfied. Like I was just like, see that's good. But we go to Big Bird's done like it's over, Like I'm I'm blowing up the party of mind.

Okay, now hold on, hold on?

What's all what is it? What's all this? Then? Is that a British person? What's all this? Then?

What's this?

Then? Did you become like cheesy? What? Get like a little round? Welcome back to this podcast?

This man in ya They've got I'm a bit knackered today. Yeah, I'm a little bit tired, but I figured I would still give it all.

Did you say knackered that it's like I'm a bit tied that word. Yeah, yeah it is, but like carrying it on, you know, like keep on carrying on like the Beatles said.

Did they say that?

I don't know. It just sounds like the carrying out and keep on carry out. That's like the way the Eagles would do it. But last night was like a sligh because all my bestest friends were over and my favorite spot to get a margarita from does Margaritas to Go, which I don't.

It's not. It's literally not. Every time you do it, I'm like, this is so illegal.

Yeah, like I and they like they do it. So I'm like.

Me, and it's in it it's immediately container. What the what's going on? No, it's in it to go container, which is crazy. It's in a to go cup with a straw in it already, so you're supposed to be drinking.

It on the gop while I'm kidding. Please don't. But we went and picked a few up and on the way back leaving everything. Everything happens for a reason at the right time, because you know what, when we got there, it was taking so long to get them, and I started panicking because I was like, dude, this is taking way longer than I wanted, Like I'm missing all the time with the rest of my friends at the house,

We're like, dude, this is like soad I need to clarify their sober entirely. Oh yeah, I'm not like I'm not drinking.

The we are not we and we do not actually count done that Like that is so yeah, we are not drinking.

I believe I have to clarify that.

But I simply much well the people think we are crazy and that we will drink and drive because we always joke about doing it. So it is our faults.

Bro, we ever joke I have.

I was like, I was like, yeah, like I just like did a few like edibles and like had a few drinks and like.

Oh but that's different.

Yeah, being crossfadd versus being drunk is different. But yeah, we did not touch our margaritas. But we stopped and like we're looking at the fireworks and then I was like, oh my god, like these are right there. So we drove past and we stopped the car on the street because literally everybody was stopping the car and getting out because in La I have never seen a fire work

It so sometimes like they are so important to me, and I know no one will ever truly understand except for Enya like how magical fireworks are, but like, just fucking look at it.

It's literally the one time that I'm like, burn money, burn money, by the thing is so awesome and it was the craziest fireworks show I've ever seen, and trust I was to give you the whole time, like you can ask Lucas and Josie, Like the first thing I said is like this is going to make your sad, and I was like, but I like can't.

And why did Josiah immediately come home and show me the video?

I know we were contemplating not even telling you, but we were just on such a like good one because then after the biggest fireworks show ever, we drove home blasting what is it? What the fuck is that song? It's a Billy Joel song. We you know, we had to hit love never felt so good. But my wife, I don't care, this is my and it was just such a vibe. And then we got back home and we were all hanging out, and then we all walked to the store for snacks and drinks and we walked back. Also,

Meanwhile, I'm back home the entire time having a full blown anxiety at time, Like it was crazy. I felt like that high school. Like I literally like felt like my entire body was like pins and needles, and my fingers were going numb, and like there was like this crazy pressure in my stomach. But I didn't feel like I was dying, because I knew I wasn't dying. I knew I was having an anxiety attack. But I was like, this is crazy. I feel like fucking shit. My breathing

I felt really bad. I didn't know what to do, but I was like, there's literally nothing I could do. And then every time I went in the room, I was like, I feel like I'm making a worse You should have just gotten yes, bro, I would not give you xanax. Bro.

How has Zanny's our coke? Bro?

Okay, no one talked to me about coke or xanax because I am sober, Stop talking to me about it. How coke?

Bro?

I'm so fucking hang in. What the fuck?

What was?

But yeah, it was just like a fun night.

Oh my prostate is literally spashming right now. I cannot believe we caught that live on the podcast. That was crazy. No, it hurts so bad.

What does that even mean? Man?

No, it's like that. It feels like someone is stabbing a knife on your up your asshole and it goes up into your guts. It's crazy. It's like it hurts so bad for like one second. And every once in a while, like maybe once every three or four months, it'll happen where it like happens a bunch and it's like, what the fuck is going on? I'm dying.

Have you had your prostate checked?

No?

You had to do that.

No, I'm not old as fuck. That's like, actually dudes are getting prostate cancer younger and younger.

Now, m h, it's the it's the microplastics.

Yeah, there was reasoning behind it. I think it literally is that or it's no, it is no, I swear to god it is. It was nicotine. It was like the increased use of nicotine in like younger, there is not because if you if you break down the amount of nicotine in a puff bar compared to like the amount of nicotine and the cigarettes our parents were smoking, it's like four times the amount and like one puff bar like as one pack. Yeah, like you're smoking like a pack a day. Basically, It's crazy.

That's what was shocking when people were like, like a cigarette, I'm.

Like, I'm analog.

Hello, I'm just like you are judging me. Girl, You're smoking leachy puff bar martini on the rocks.

Like Okay, Leachy is over. She's been over like me.

When I was trying to like, I was like I can get a puff bar, like I can't put bar like my friends, and I went out of leach Ice and all of them made fun of me, and I was like, you know what, I actually don't even need this, like you fucking freaks.

Anyways, it was like the worst flavor ever invented. I think lush Ice was a very big, big moment, obviously.

I think that's what I was trying to gagering lush ice.

Because Leachy's gray and scary. It tastes like the color gray. It's crazy.

But yeah. Then I came home and then after like our little walk, we were watching Saw. And while we were watching it, I turned everybody. I was like, wait, I need everybody to go up and like do your self tape, like you're trying to get into this movie right now, Like what is your self tape that you're.

Turning in while I was having an anxiety.

Attacking, which I didn't contemplate because that was after the walk, so I thought you were like chilling like post that. I oh, but we like me and Ryan did a scene where it was like she had to kill me, but like we were still best friends in the scene and that we were like yelling like please don't and it just got real. Literally both of us tear it up because we were like, why did that feel real? Like I like and I was like, dude, you wouldn't be able to kill me. She was like, I don't

I could kill you. Oh, I could kill her easily, I had before.

I've killed your ego.

How about that, I've killed your pride. Your pride is damning. This shirt I got from Japan. It's an Astro boy front print with the cybernetic print on the back you can't see and I don't care, but yeah, that's kind of like the vibe lately, you know what I have been thinking about that I think is so fucking cute and I'm so happy we do it and me even

I literally don't believe in going to bed in a house with people without being either saying good night or love you.

It's important because I.

Was taught high super sistition that someone would come in and kill all of us and then you would have not say I love you, and your parents would be dead. Knock on wood, knock on woodknock on wood.

That's literally why I say it, because I'm like, what if she dies in her sleep?

I know, I'm like, what if I get killed? Sometimes when I go to bed, I'm like, damn, there's a chance somebody comes in this house of fucking stousany tonight.

The craziest thing is it feels like this episode has been four hours and it's only twenty five minutes.

Twenty five minutes. Yeah, that's still pretty like crazy because I don't feel like I've talked for twenty five minutes. But speaking of death, we we've talked about like how we just like have no like fight in us, like no, no, no, no, famish no, nothing, like I can't survive. I'll like, I'll I'll take myself.

I will blow myself.

Yeah, but I was thinking about it.

I was like I like skinny in the famine. That's like a.

Plus, bro, but like it literally like you probably won't have Instagram, so now like it's like what's the point. Yeah, like you literally also like you won't have post.

I'll be skinny in the commune. I'll be the skinniest in the commune, the village.

But when I was with I want to read what I wrote because like, I don't know when I wrote this. Let's see, the last time I updated this was at one fifty three am a night two nights ago. I said, I like need to die a peaceful death because I would be so pissed if I'm dying in a scenario where I'm fighting for my life because I can't fight, and I feel like I say this all the time, but it pisses me off. Also, if I was in a life or desk situation where I had to take

Put me in a situation. Ever, literally never put.

Me in a situation. It will be put me in a situation. Yeah, Like my God, that would like actually piss me the fuck off. If I was in a burning house and somebody was like do this, like stop dropping a dumb like are you dumb? Guess what now, I'm gonna like get the fabri that's in the house and start fucking spraying you bitch, so that I could torture to that because you're but yeah, I just I can't. I can't be in that kind of life or this situation.

Yeah, trying to think how I want to die. I don't want to die. I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid of what comes after death. I like, actually, I take that back. I'm so okay with it. And if I died in this moment, if God smited me and exploded me and got it on camera one, I would be ig and Twitter famous like a trend in number one. It would be fucking lit and because I would post it, it would be the most iconic video of all time. Like this dude talking about wanting to die get smited

The thing is I would fly out to New York literally right after this and go be on Good Morning America tomorrow morning. Like it would be that instant for me, Like I would just like get.

You, would have it made.

My PR team would be on it. It would be like, all right, so here's can we make money off of Yeah, like how can we get this trending? How can we make this a trend?

You can make a gofund me for my family, but then keep it for yourself.

I was already that was like I like, thank you, but like that.

Was I've been seeing this like trend where it's like if I die, like all of my friends can just completely lie on my name, like on everything and tell the most vile lie ever, Like you can do it.

Yeah, we also need to revert back to like the mall shopping has gone to the like the internet and.

Like e commerce is over.

Yeah, like we need to kill off e commerce other than when we drop merch. Come on, like, yeah together, we do not fall under this role. But ar like my case, Like you can still buy my case. It's okay, But we need to go back to the mall because the day the ball that.

Was that was, I'm not kidding, one of the best days of my entire life, if not, no, no, no, of my year, if not in my entire life, Like just going around being like Papa to all my high friends and like going in and out of these stores and being crazy. We walked into the dice and vacuum style and it was so much fun to just fucking literally they have like dust and dirt to throw on the

And then I started to get excessension. I was like, this is too much, like me to the worker, as if he like had anything to do with like what vacuums have become. I was like, honestly, this is too much, Like this is pushing it, Like all of this is pushing it, Like why am I going into a Dyson store and like playing like pimp my ride like it's a Tesla shop. Like it literally feels like being in a Tesla store. It's like I want the the Matt chrome for the bar, and then I want my laser

Job, like oh yeah, I was thinking about that, and.

Then you were like while I was doing it, because also I was the little test monkey. He was being like like pushing the vacuum around, which was so lit all eyes on me, really party vibe. But we are such fucking losers, I know.

What, Like there's no way anybody is listening to this and enjoying this out. What we need to do is get American girl dolls. Those are fucking lit. But that's another conversation.

I never had American girl dolls though. I was just like a brass kind of girl. Like that was like where m hm, my dolls went right right right right.

I was like a G I Joe.

Yeah, guy, a g I Joe. And then you would get your care bears like invaults in what way.

They would just play? I know I did. I literally, I'm not joking. I would play with my sister's barbies. I'm not joking. They would be under her bed in her bedroom, and like a giant seven, you would play with that because.

You would make the G I Joe and the Barbie hop.

Sea No, I would make the I would play with their boobs on the Barbie dolls and I would just like make them like eat each other out and ship. It was like so fucking hot. But I would literally play with barbies. It was. It was a crazy fucking vibe. And I would do it in secrecy because I knew if anybody saw me doing it, I would get in so much trouble.

And why though, because toys should be for everybody. We should literally every episode just drop like the most basic like they like like girls should have respect. M M. I'm saying that, like you you don't do that every episode. You have done that every single episode since we started to say the obvious and be like yeah, I said, it's.

Just something I've been thinking, like, way, you should smile more.

No, No, that's not a good one, Like that's not.

If you're depressed, just smile.

No dude, Okay, Well, well, like see, mine was a banger because it was like this idea that like toys do not necessarily lie within gender, and like gender norms are odd. So mine was like a positive take, but yours is like this like really weird take that, like women should just be expected to be standing objects to look good.

Yeah I don't. I don't see a problem with that.

No, no, no, So girls.

Like think I have vaginas and booms that Chipotle is in my stomach digestion.

I knew it. I knew with Drew. I got a Chipotle bewl for me and Drew to share because I think about my friends, and I was like, I don't I'm not going to finish this whole bow. I'm gonna leave the rest for Drew, and he picked. He had the audacity to pick it up thirty minutes ago. That would be my big fat ass.

That would be my big fat ass. That would be my big fat ass.

You're like really good at it, like scares me. But he had the audacity to pick it up thirty minutes ago, as if it doesn't take him two to three hours to digest anything that goes into his body since he has a concave thick layer of resin from his puff bar red forty dye from all the candies and fruit to syrup. Oh wait, what, you have a hard shell of semen lining your stomach?

Bro?

If I got shot by like somebody, it wouldn't even penetrate me because I just have like a thick layer of semen all over my body at every waking moment. I used to not take a shower after having sex.

Which is fucking crazy.

No, but I always pee like I've never had a UTI, never had a UTI club. Not many people can say that I am a champion. That's different, though, because that lies on my partners being dirty, nasty monsters, and I will continue to fuck them though, because it's good that goes out to you, you know who you are. But yeah, I just used to just go to sleep. I used to go pee and then be like, I'm going to see.

Now I cannot believe that.

And then I had the audacity to be like, do not fucking sit on my can that's.

What you like, don't get an Inya's bed after anytime. Don't just don't do it. It's all sticky and hard and.

Like if you want to go take a dive onto my bed, your head would hit it and you would be concussive.

You know, you know, you know how like people awas like if you like jump into water from like forty feet or above, like it feels like concrete. That's how your bed feels from four inches you jump onto it. Okay, something no one is talking about, and it's actually it blows my fucking mind that I did this, and it's not a conversation being had at all, but the way

Play the clip play the clip.

I'm about to try for the first time, wish me luck. Oh my gosh, like you see everything, I was literally everywhere and everything all at once. Just now. I think I just experienced what it was like to be gone. Yep, okay, so let's jump in. I'm a fucking genius and everything

What you want.

The Daniel Brothers even stole my fucking middle name, like it's crazy, Like I gave them the movie and they took my middle name. Like wait, what y'all are fucking crazy? I'm done?

Wait?

Who everything everywhere at once? I think they're the Daniel Brothers, the Daniel Phillips. No, Andrew Daniel Phillips. Their name is the Daniel Brothers.

What does that have to do with you.

They stole my fucking middle name.

Oh okay, okay, damn bunk middle name. If I'm being honest, But I love you and that's all that matters.

Should we say yours out loud?

No?

Yeah, I'm gonna leak that ship. Oh fuck, that fucking directed everything everywhere all at once.

Probably your mom after having sex with me, because she's so inspired because of house good sex with me?

Is that's impossible?

Have I ever told the bob odenkirk uh.

I don't think so, daughter story. No, maybe maybe while we were in New York. Maybe if we haven't, let us know, we'll tell it another time.

And if you're listening, hi, we're airing.

Your shit out. I don't think there was something I talked about when we recorded the Scrapped episode in Japan that I was like, Oh, I want to talk about that now. Oh the dude who lived in my house for like years and no one said anything. We basically had a squatter in my fucking house for like what felt like years, And I can talk about this shit because it was actually really scary and he would like off.

How long was he there?

A little over a year?

Did you miss him when he was gone at first and said not at all.

He stole things from me and sold them on eBay baseball bat, baseball glove.

That's honestly, Yeah, did you know you didn't need that?

I did. Did you know on eBay? If you sell one item and it's over six hundred dollars, now you get a ninety nine K form that if you don't file with the government that you can, you're basically committing tax frauds. So if you saw it, yeah, it's one item, and if you sell more than you see twenty five thousand dollars and like six hundred items, Like, no one's actually doing that except for like people who know what

You're over, You're done, and I'm snitching. Next person who highballs are like, is over selling something for more than it's reports? Oh oh, you think you think you're about to get eighty dollars or your ed hardy zip up. But what you're gonna get is a seasoned assist and a notation from the IRS saying.

You owe eight hundred dollars for unpaid taxes. Let's talk about it, let's talk about it.

Yeah, and next next time somebody declines my low ball,

It takes one to know one.

It's fun. It's fun, like you really, That's the funny thing. Is you really think I'm about to spend five hundred dollars on your beat up, stinky, fucking ballerina flats. Nope, if I'm high, I just might.

I was about to say, you have bought like eighteen pairs of those things and they I need to stop.

I need to stop it.

The ballet addiction.

The ballet flat specifically like has such.

A grip on this croquette as fuck.

Bro.

You always say croquette, but you mean coquette. Oh yeah, Like I wish I had powers.

And I could just I have so much shit to talk about. It's crazy, and I talk about two things and you've been dead silent. Okay.

My friend sent me a picture of bad Baby and said Drew said any and Miami, and then our friend said Anya, she didn't find the nineteen seventy five.

Okay. But I don't need to be real. I need to be Coca Cola.

I hate that that's something you You're like, I have so many things to talk about, like so much to get my plan.

I don't need to be real. I need to be Coca Cola. I don't need to be real.

I need to be.

Euthanized. She was fucking spitting when she said I need to be Coca Cola, because like, have you ever had Yes, have you ever had a Coca Cola before? That's all you need to know to fuck.

Like, Oh, I'm gonna attack you. You are so beautiful. Oh.

We started talking about this at the very end of the last episode. We've been way too much together and I don't know how we're not bored of each other yet. It's crazy. I know. Lately there's been like a little bit of tension between No No, like a little tension, but like it's like not even noticeable enough. It's just like we need our space. We need to go back to Texas. You need to go back to Miami.

I do feel it like we're both at the point where like the slightest thing to one another it's like okay, and it's like.

I just I'm not I am not engaging in this, or we'll call each other out on our bullshit way more. But it's like fun. It's like fun. But yeah, like you know what, it's toxico.

We should get those on.

I want that so.

Bad next time the fair comes around. You don't have MYSA top our Shirtsxico. But we oh wait, somebody somebody posted and was like this is me and you and it's like chis moosa virus instead of coronavirus. That's literally just in case you didn't know, it was a reference to coronavirus.

I got it.

Yeah, okay, yeah, sure. But you know what it shows the most is in the car, and that's what I was leading into in the last episode. It's like in the car, that's when I realized, like, damn, we don't have ship to say to each other anymore, because like, look.

At that Toyota. Look at that n Oh my god.

The new Volkswagon. Yeah wow wow, it almost has the body of an Audie. That's fair.

It's really interesting because like Audi and Volkswagen are owned by the same people now, like Audio owns Volkswagens, so like their cars are just basically cheaper Audies. Yeah, oh, you know what I just thought about, Audie, suck my fucking balls.

It's funny because the people who would even correct you probably don't have the car, like oh oh oh the thing in the car back to the car is because we were talking about that. I just thought of this as one of the tension moments where like I neither of us spoke, but like I or it was just

See, that's why we're spending too much time together because we don't even know what we fucking talk about anymore. Like I actually couldn't tell you what we were talking about three minutes.

Well, no, that's because you have object permanence and issues of that nature, because you have mental disorders.

And that's the difference. That's the word between us is I wake up and I'm normal, and you you wake up and you're so confused and you forget everything you have to do all the time because you have issues.

And that is us talking to you. ADHD freak bitches out there. If you have ADHD, you fucking disgusted me. Let's talk to there. You are losers people who have ADHD. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I feel bad for them.

I feel bad for you.

Yeah, dude, I literally can't imagine a life where I don't forget something immediately, Like I literally crave that so much, but I don't plan.

I need ADHD to survive. Like if I didn't have it, like I actually don't know what I would be, it would be so you would probably be normal in Texas.

And you would be like happy, yeah, yeah, right right right.

Damn this shit got dark though. Well wait wait wait wait wait wait, let's see. Let's look read one more thing from my list. Umm Drake album mid Us Fuck yeah, okay, umm oh this is a good one. There are siduals everywhere inside your iPhones. Demonic presence throwing them away. They're mind control only podcasts out to listen to emergency intercom Without us, you will fail. But there are siduals inside your iPhone. Look at this. Let me show you. It's

Oh my fucking stomach hurts so bad. I'm like, oh, my stomach hurts, and it's because I had McDonald's last night, Taco Bell and then Chipotle today. Like I actually treat my body like I'm fucking thirteen or something.

It's so disgusting and we have no control over ourselves. It's really really bad. Where the fun I like, throw your.

iPhone dot that on the plane in Japan.

I forgot I did that. I air dropped this photo to like two hundred people on the airplane. They have no idea what this means.

I would not know what the fuck I was looking at if that was sent to me. Oh, to circle back to you saying, why is every video of people cheating, like confronting their cheating partner in the car? You know what it is is a big sign if you are your I think I said this. If you're your boyfriend or girlfriend or partner's chauffeur, that already is a bad sign. But specifically, like if you are dating a man and like you're driving him around, he's a cheater, like he's

And I need the booth. I need the booth with my back facing the wall so I can protect everyone. I'm not kidding. I'm like a fucking dog or a cat, Like I have to be in the corner of the room so I can see everything I hate with my back facing the door and all the windows out to the street, because how do you know when the killer is coming in.

The killer tonight? That's kind of my.

That is it's so fucking expensive, though.

I know it is. Really, I didn't realize how expensive it was until we went that last time. Now we used to like really run Typhus be our spot for a second.

No rights, it should be uh get into media right right right? Okay? For music, I have angel Core Part two by Team Mechano. Oh wait, where is it? Unlinking by tech Lindo and uh in between a Mason's Mansions in between a mansion's gates. Arrow grows, m Um. Those are more schizophrenic music that I really love. Oh it is, Oh, it literally is. And then for shows, I've been watching

Just play Fortnite.

Getting a win in Fortnite is better than orgasmine. No, it literally is.

It is, genuinely because you know what, like I could see if like the if the orgasm happened after forty minutes of foreplay, that is the equivalenta of a Fortnite win. Yeah, a Fortnite win is just like insane amount of like for play to the point where you're like, I don't even have to bone.

You, Like I can leave now literally anytime I've ever had sex?

Is that all right?

Well your media, baby?

Oh yeah, I just don't think you guys deserve that right now. So okay, Mine is My Life by Billy Joel. I'm still listening to Amplified Heart a lot by Everything, but the Girl, which has been making my lis my Discover weekly has sucked fucking balls the past two weeks. And I don't understand because, like I've been listening to like good music, and I think Spotify just has no idea what to give me anymore. It's like, girl, you have like gone to the Earth's end of the genres