Drew Kissed Bella Hadid

Get your phoning your job talent.

There was like, hella verified, I guess when you say that.

Yeah, it's just really easy to get verified nowadays though, so it's like.

They confused to verify me.

No, it's like if you're like just a little cool.

So once you get to that, No, that's not helping me.

You're calling me like not cool enough. What you verify it?

Like, honestly, Drew, if you want to take it that way, like words are up for interpretation, if you want to take me saying that as saying you're literally one of the most uncool people I've ever met in my fucking life, and sometimes it hurts to be around you.

Like take it like that.

Oh my god, Like if that, if that's what helps you, God, we're.

Off to crazy start this.

Oh were we recording?

Yes, we were fucking recording.

Hi.

Welcome to this episode.

Oh my god, welcome, Welcome, Welcome back to Emergency Intercom. This is episode fifty one.

Somewhere sandwich stinks.

No, I have the petite grain to mask the odor.

It's raw on the fucking cabinet.

Yeah.

I got this like two days ago, and I was saying before the podcast that I'm like really fucking like starving, like I'm mount your rest right now, and I was like.

Should I eat this? But it's literally giving soggy bottom, rusty soggy bottom. Can you feel it? I don't like that soggy bottom.

It's literally defrosting. So the scentivis. I know it tastes good though, That's the.

Thing is I know crazy.

M to wash it all down. I got the Mountain Dew flaming hot Cheeto version.

I hate that it's like lime infused too, like they have a lime on the ball.

I hate that. It's like gorgeous.

I'm sorry this is targeted to lions because they did not have to put the lime on the bottle.

The lime and hot Cheetos. That's a Latin sligh.

This is like the most beautiful label I've ever seen.

I will say it is really pretty, but it looks like a drink you would only get at like the exotic snack shops that are specifically made for people who are making to make.

A lean like mix your exotic soda with It's kind of crazy.

Actually, this is weird as a taste. It tastes really good, but then it has like a.

Little subway in your fucking mustache.

I know it's leaving there on purpose.

Damn fuck y'all y'all saw it in my mustache. I just be This is like, why do not surround my stuff with people who fuck with me? Like, don't fuck with me because like they are praying for my downfall. They want me to be embarrassed.

Okay, this label is actually fucking awesome, like on a graphic design level. That really has a caution label with a lemon on fire on it.

Eleven on fire. That as good as bones I know.

And then wait for the spicy caick girl, if you weren't sick, No, this.

Is not spicy. I'm sorry.

No, there's like a little kick at the end. It's not spicy. But just wait unless it's from my subway sandwich.

It's maybe your subway sandwich mixing in there.

Oh well, I'd honestly give that, like I'm never drinking it again, but for the novelty of it and like the one time sit factor, it gets a solid seven point eight from me.

If someone put a little bit of tequila in that and then put it in a nice cup with a flour in it and like charge me seventy dollars for I'd be like, oh my god, this is so fucking good. I need three of these drinks. Should not be seventeen dollars. No, no beverage on Earth.

Okay, Like guys, and yeah, we have like actually really bad news.

You're so.

Omg. I was just gonna text you, guys, I'm not even home yet. Tomorrow would be better for a pool day. You can still come, I don't care.

That's from Devin.

Devin Lee, Like, that's like worse than finding out my grandpa or my brother died.

Like, Devin, pushing a pool day to a Wednesday instead of a Tuesday is worse than you finding out one of your relatives has passed away. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like really hard for me because I just love her so much.

You know, you love her more than here my dead brother.

Yeah.

Literally, Wait, the way that I had my tarot cards read and they said something big was coming on the day of my brother's death anniversary, tell me why I got to take a picture with that Bella had.

Big things are coming. She said, yes, you can take one.

It was giving free Bella like literally she's in danger for her.

She did DM me after and she was like and like I shouldn't be sharing this publicly because like from one woman to another. She did confide in me, but I I will be like saying exactly verbatim what she said to me. I'm not I literally could pull it up, but like that would be pushing it.

I feel like telling someone's secret is.

Like a little less bad than like showing their text of the secret, because if I wanted to, I could.

Like keep out words that would like soften the blow to you.

But basically she was like, hey, like I know this is like your close friend, and like I'm so happy that he was here, but like I really wish it was you instead. And also do y'all still live together? Because is there something wrong with the plumbing. There was like this odor that was kind of lingering.

All night and I shiit my pants and I left it on there. I shait my pants because I heard pheromones attract lovers and I was on.

The prow last night. Damsels, Uh what is it? iHeart damsels.

I want to fuck that no that has that hat stands for damsels.

I want to fuck no that has like like a cute girl, like a damsel in distress.

That's what you that's genuinely what you think. I love. DILF stands for.

Yeah, damsels, I want to fuck.

First of all, it's not douf, it's Dilf's.

What is it? Actually, what is it?

It's dad. I'd like to funk. That's what that means. You're wearing a hat that's like provoking, like you want.

I wouldn't wear something like that, So you're stupid. It's kind of based on how you interpret it, and I feel like a match majority of the people would interpret it the same way I did.

You. Yeah, you don't think most people would look at that and think that you're trying to have sets.

With older man?

Yeah, exactly exactly.

Then explain why an older man.

So I put this cap on to go grocery shopping and get food, and I forgot I put it on. I just put it on because my hair looked like fucking shit that day. This was yesterday, and I like my hair, was discussing like, look, this is what it looks like.

I gotta stop.

You have to wear hats every day because like you're making bangs without cutting them, Like take that off again, No, take it off?

Do you see what I'm saying?

Likely it looks like you have baby bangs.

Thank you, thank you. That's what I mean to, That's what I'm meaning to do.

So I wore the cap to grocery shopping and I forgot I had it on and we pulled up and like the I'm not kidding. The very first person that we saw was a man that was and he looked at me and he's like, oh, so you like me?

You wanna you wanna?

Oh?

You like me?

And I was like what I was like caught off silkard And he was like because I'm a DILF, And I was like, I was like, sir, you were not a DILF like you.

That is almost a hate.

Crime for you to even claim Dilf energy because you are not that. Don't even act like you're that.

He also looked like Max, like twenty six.

So if he is a DILF, it's one he's not a Dilf, And if he is a dad, it's not on purpose.

Yeah, I should not be claiming that energy at all. Also, I was like, you are not a damsel. I want to fuck wait, what is it?

Okay? So in your case, I guess.

It's I I heart like dil stands for damsels, I'd like to fuck yeah, and then s because it's plural because you're a slut.

Yeah, simply.

But back to Bella, back to my girl Beella. I know the girls are wanting a real explanation for that. Literally, I actually don't even know how it happened. It's basically all Enya's doing, and she's just our friend.

Like the thing is because I'm like so like I'm just courageous and I'm like giving and I'm open and my like.

Hole is spread for the people.

Yes, and like I.

Don't like, if I have some squirt left to give, I will give sports to the girls to deserve it.

And basically it was I was invited to dinner for Kin, which actually you have to talk about this.

I think we were literally some of the first people on earth, like yes, before like.

I think Bella was like a part of like that team. When Kin came out.

We literally we were drinking that tried it like because we.

Saw it and were freaks and we were like, oh my god, we could get like I want to see what like a non alcoholic like buzz is. Yeah, but we literally all broke through rules and like mix it with alcohol, which was literally like the thing you're.

Not supposed to do.

But yeah, I just have to say that because we literally just two months ago threw away a can that was I'm not kidding, like two years old.

Yeah, but we we were.

We did have like a little phase where we did drink them because they are cool, like they do taste fucking good.

Like, yeah, I like the new flavor tastes me and Drew.

Loved like a like an unspiked drink drink because.

Like, so this is not I need to clarify, this is not a brand.

Oh this is I'm being paid like so much money.

Oh you got paid?

Yeah, like hella, Actually I think that's like illegal to like even joke about saying that. Like I didn't do that, Like, please don't send anybody after wed. But I got invited to a dinner, but I got stuck in New York and I had asked and like literally pleaded for like a plus two and I would because I wanted to go with Ryan and Drew because I have issues and I refused to go somewhere and meet new people.

But I couldn't make it. So I was like, y'all should still go.

Yeah, so I tapped in and I texted Devin and I was like, Yo, I think I'm gonna go to this event alone.

Are you gonna be there?

And she was like yeah, it's gonna be like like we're gonna party all night. It's gonna be a key And I didn't take that literally. I just was like, oh, like, it's just gonna be a cute little event from five to eight. And I was so down to go alone because I was like, I know these people, it's five to eight, Like, I'm gonna go. And then O'Ryan hit me up after and was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna go,

Like Orian was booked and busy and literally I had to go back to Europe.

Yeah, literally, and it's just like going out right now, it's just not my vibe right now. But we pull up and it is really fucking intimate, Like I was not expecting the intimacy of this event.

Like intimate, like we're like where.

There was like like sex parties and orgies.

And what, Yeah, did you get to join or no, they probably really didn't want you around.

They begged, But I just like was rather like I was in a cook energy So I just.

But I was on a cock vibe.

Yeah you know, but yeah it was just like a really cute thing. And a friendship has blossomed, like in a real way.

A friendship has kin blossomed? Is that a good joke?

Is that bloom whatever has a friendship has bloomed?

But yeah, talk about what I wanted was the fucking rose ice cubes.

Like that was what I was like missing out on. I love a drink.

I love a pretty drink, like honestly, like I would be an alcoholic if everywhere I went it was like cheap like pretty drink.

And that's okay for me, it admit.

But yeah it was a blast and it was a movie and me and Bella kissed and that's it.

I don't think she would appreciate you saying that publicly.

She literally commented, don't kiss and tell my.

I think like it's like a metaphor.

So now I'm starting to typically typically I don't kiss and tell.

But it's bell that's my girl, that's my best friend.

So you have to tell yeah.

That's my best friend. It's easy for me.

So when it comes to somebody you have like an intimate close relationship with, you have to snitch and like talk about it.

Yep, you're weird. You're a weird folk.

Like, yeah, you're a weird folk.

I was trying to say, like, you're like a weird person, and I like folks because I was thinking about, like, you folks are weird.

Like I've literally never heard that.

It's not a common phrase, but my brain made that up.

You're mad at me, holy shit, And you got in a little fight this morning? Did we Not? Really?

But we know we didn't get in a fight. Drew literally hates being to what to do.

Yeah, it really is, like it gets under my skin.

But when I used to but now I double down.

What pisses me off about it is it's already something that I was actively doing, and then when someone tells me to do it, I'm like, no, kill yourself.

I'm not doing that now.

But I was already actively doing it, and it just pissed me off. But yeah, we did get into like there was some tensions there on both parties. You have to admit on both parties. There was some time and it's and it's okay, it's okay.

No, literally I had no tension. I was I've been living my life.

See that's what you do is you do have just a little bit of tension and then you say you don't, so then you gaslight everybody.

No when bitch, when I'm mad, I'm fucking mad, Like I feel like I cannot hide when I'm like upset.

But what I do was now, okay. Basically what happened is Drew was like, oh, I'm feeling.

A little sick, and last night I was like I could tell he was. I could tell you or pissed last night. But I was like, is he mad at me? Because like, this is not my fault that you feel sick.

And I like, I was not mad last night. I was mad this morning.

Oh but last night he like was having a like it felt weird. And I was like, I don't know if he's mad at me, oh, because he was like I feel sick and I literally a miniway.

Oh and like like, oh that that did piss me off.

When I was in the bathroom, I was and I could tell it pissed him off.

And I was like okay, like like, girl, I don't want to get sick.

I have decided and I'm I'm just like gonna say it for everybody, like it is a frappuccino and refresher summer like Starbucks.

Yes, the refreshers, yes, like one hundred.

When's the last time you had a frappuccina from Starars?

Okay, seven seventh grade to be fair, like, it's a frappuccino summer in the way that like if you're willing to spend.

Seven dollars and have five SIPs of a.

Drink before passing away from sugar over those Yeah, that's like the vibe.

I know what the vibe is is the sour cream on I mean.

The foam, the foam on top of the drinks. That cream. Yes, that's what I'm down for.

So you put sour cream on yourppuccino.

Yeah, it's like this weird like a southern thing. It's a white thing.

Oh oh you said it's a white delicacy.

Yeah, okay, yeah, it's a colonizer thing. But no, the foam with the caramel sauce. Like one time, I know I heard that you can order like dog drinks from Starbucks and it's literally just a cup of the phone.

I can't say.

Yeah, the whipped cream and I ordered that and I was like can I get that with caramel on it? And they were like no, And I was like why and they were like, you're literally not a dog. And this was in Grandberry and I was like no, I I think the whipped cream from Starbucks is easily the best.

Whip cream whipped cream on planet.

It's like farty and like it has like this like weird like scent to it when you eat it. I can't describe it. It's indescribable, but it's fucking good. That's the summer, the summer of the foam.

But I was with a few friends when we were in New York and like two of them got a strawberry refer or like a refresher. I don't know what flavor was, but they had it with lemonade. I was like, damn, that is so good.

And who would have known refreshing Like I was like, that is literally.

Said the hibiscus refreshers.

It was like no, they got like a raspberry one. It was when I hadn't charged before. I was like, damn, this shit is fucking good where.

They squished the raspberries in the bottom with the stick.

It had nothing in it, Like it was just like a pink drink.

But it was pinky drink. It's giving pink drink.

Giving stinky drinkity. But I would also maybe go to argue you, maybe it's not a frappuccino from Starbucks as much as it is a frat pee from McDonald's, Like I love like between the two. A frape from McDonald's is better than a frappuccino from star wars No No, the girls.

Who No No. The chocolate chip frat pee is from McDonald's.

One time, I was ordering a frapee at McDonald's and I said frappucino, and they go, it's a frat pee. I was like, we're literally talking about fucking mushy coffee ice cream right now. And I met McDonald's at two am, and you're correcting me about a frat pee.

You know what if we're talking about iied beverages that have coffee in them. The coffee frosty from Chick fil A is delicious. And I'm sorry from mentioning that during Pride months.

I really am, but technically when this is out, it's not part of.

It anymore, so you can like, yeah, yeah, it's giving, it's yeah, yeah, when's when's the Chick fil a rainbow logo dropping?

We need that.

Every other company for Pride months, like turns it up?

Why is it? Imagine? I just had no idea that implications of chicken. I was like, wait, actually, why don't they do that?

It's crazy I haven't had that before. But yeah, it's just like I'm on my beverage shit again. I'm always on my beverage shit though, Like Bay Girl, like something about drinking, like drinking things is so nice.

And that's my take. That's my big hot take.

Also, I was so famished on my plane ride back that the girl next to me was kind of around my age and she had hot Cheetos and I like never wanted chips so bad in my life.

And I genuinely was contemplating being like, I will PayPal you right now for some Cheetohs, Like I genuinely was thinking that.

And then I was like watching what she was watching to kind of get like what her vibe in life was, and she was watching like I couldn't tell what she was watching, but she was watching like what seemed like a drama with young people, but she was watching it

And both of our nosy bitch like energy activated and both of us were like what they say, Like what did they say? Like what's happening?

And like both of us were like I don't know, like did you hear what was happening? And we both started like peeking up and looking around, and we were both cracking jokes and we were like, I'm so sorry, but two things. One of course, I hope that person's okay, but if they emergency land this plane, I will literally fucking kill myself.

Uh bitch, because I want to go home home.

That's like literally an experience for me, like living an emergency landing is giving like adrenaline.

We were an hour and thirty outs, so that meant we would fucking land and butt fuck Arizona. And I was like, I'm not landing in Arizona taking a goddamn bus back home.

The airplane wheels are gonna melt on the guitarmac and then six degrees too.

We like kept joking and we were like, I was like, what they need to do is whenever that's solved, get back on the thing and be like, oh my god, guys, like it's also chill, like it worked out fine, the person's okay, here's what happened. Like I needed to know what happened. So then I was like, this is my time to be like, by the way, can I have some of your hot cheetah?

But I was like that's too crazy. And then I just watched her finish the bag, and I was.

Like, damn, I would have clicked a button and said I was a doctor because I have two years of anatomy under my belt.

I literally I made that joke to her. I was like, I should just go up there, like, oh my god, I can't help right now, but I just wanted to look.

I just wanted to literally, I just like I just wanted to witness, and I'll take photos just in case you need them later.

I should talk to my friends about it.

And oh, speaking of literally, airplane, I just read this note, so.

I was I had.

I was on the airplane and I was in the window seat and there was like a grandma who was like eight hundred and sixty three years old next to me that I like, and I had to pee so fucking bad, like and I had I had never had to peel like this on the airplane.

But I like felt so bad for asking.

Her to get up, because it really it was like a struggle for her to get down, and I was like, I don't want to see her like try to get up through this leg is like completely numb right now, and it's like scary as fuck. But I didn't want to see her like have to get up or whatever. But I actually I would have sprayed pissed all over myself if I had not done this.

But I got up and it was literally fine.

She was like, oh yeah, like no, no worries, honey, and she called me and I love being called honey. It made me feel so happy. I love being called honey. And Buddy like if someone calls me buddy like or Bud.

Like stop, but I feel like buddy and Bud is like passive aggressive, like hey Bud.

No, it's like, hey Bud, come over here.

Say that where I'm from, don't say that to me.

But UH walked to the bathroom.

One of them has occupied on it, and then one of them doesn't, so I obviously go to the one that doesn't have occupied on it and I push it open and I see a woman pissing on the toilet and she was like and.

Like pulled the door shut.

And I like I had never like been so humiliated in my life, and I was like, I was like sorry, and she like pulled it shut and I was like, okay, that is not my fault. But I literally stood like in like you know how the bathrooms in the back of the plane are like in the kitchen area, and I just stood looking like this, like I just like was like looking into the kitchen area like this and just like praying to God she didn't come out yet,

That actually just reminded me that happened to me, Like I was the girl on the plane to Portugal.

I was, except it was the worker who busted open.

I had the door locked and I was taking a fat, nice shit in the fucking bathroom and literally.

I had the door locked, and I think I think I was in there too, locked that one of the workers was like, oh, why is this door closed? Like why is it locked?

And she unlocked the door and opened it and saw me, and I just was like hello, Like I literally didn't like overreact or anything.

I was just like because I literally my head was pressed up against the door because I was on.

My phone shitting, and then I heard I felt the door jiggle and opened and I just like looked up and she was like oh, and like closed the door and I locked it and I started laughing because I was like, dude, that's so awesome.

And she literally like just walked in on me shitting.

You shop on the airplane?

Yeah, I fucking poop anywhere. Bit I'm not my shit.

That's crazy.

That's why you don't be shitting because you you spent so much of your life holding yourself back.

But I am.

I'm the kind of person who I will ship where I need to share.

There there's like nervous peers. I am like a nervous shitter. I don't know why. It's it's like the same idea, like as like.

Farting for me, Like it really is so humiliating even though everybody does it. It's like like the same idea for shitting, Like I am so scared of shitting. But in those moments of us looking at each other, it felt like a lifetime, Like I'm not kidding, Like we made eye contact and it felt like forever, like I could draw her face because it's so insane.

It's we're back in.

The age of accidentally walking in on people using the bathroom because I got walked in me.

We're back in that age, yeah, like that was ever an era.

Era, back in the era. Got walked in on. Also, she was so popus. She was like I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I was like, no, you're okay, like I don't care. And I was like laughing and she's like no, oh really, I'm so sorry.

And I was like I I'm not kidding, like it's funny, like I don't care.

But when I was in La, I walked in on a girl this backed up.

She was wearing a body suit so her boobs are out, and I walked in on the bathroom her like and she wasn't sitting. She was like popping up proper squat like not letting herself touch the toilet and she was just like in like like squatting position with all her boobs and like she was basically but ass naked the bathroom and I walked in on her and she was like a literally like I was there and I.

Did leave the restaurant. I was like I was with like Alisa and our friends are and like jes her and I was like, no, we need to go.

I was like, we need to like leave I'm gonna use the bathroom somewhere else. What was the worst part is like I was like, this is God telling me I need to stop washing my hands after I eat because I didn't even need to use about them. I just need to wash my hands. But I just walked to a different place to wash my hands.

Nice, nice, nice.

Yeah there literally walking in on someone using the bathroom's literally so funny.

Oh my fucking god. Wait, I literally cannot.

I just looked at my other note and it was the note below that one. But my flight to Texas, the guy next to me, I feel like this only fucking happens to me. But the guy next to me smelled like fucking gooty coca bullshit, like literally bullshit, like he it was like he like filled his fucking shoes with shit. I don't I literally cannot describe it. He

And are there are people who just like get boners on flights?

I think every guy does.

Yeah, Kuy's never been on a plane, so he doesn't know.

No, I think like every guy does.

I mean I do sometimes and even in like car rides, I do too. It's well, not like full like maybe.

You're just like clinic.

No, it's like the the balancing.

Yeah, it feels like it's simulating sex.

It simulates sex.

Well, we should talk about when I this incident that I had in middle school.

I don't know if I've talked about it before, but I I just shut down.

I just remembered it when I was back in Texas because I had seen these for the first time in a very long time.

But I don't know if they were a thing in your school, but in Texas they were huge. But do you remember miss me jeans?

Yeah, those were those were bigger like in like Hyalia than they were like the area I grew up, But they were like big like in Miami, there was.

Like yeah, stop it.

So if you don't know what miss me jeans are, they're like jeans that like the asses are hella studded in like rhyanestones and metal.

Yeah, exactly, They're They're just.

Means with ryan stones covering the asses and like different material or different patterns. So in Texas, we have these things called tax tests or had they changed them to Star tests, and I think they got changed again. But it's like basically end of year testing where you test your like knowledge throughout the year, and it's kind of like either if you pass this, you pass.

If you don't, you don't, and it's kind of like state test.

It's just state testing, and it was it was starting to become a point in like my school career where like school gave me really bad anxiety if I didn't do well, and so like I was up literally I think it was like fifth grade and I was up all fucking night studying for the uh I think it was like I think it was Science and Social Studies one.

I don't know if they were like.

Because it was like four days of testing and I stayed up all night studying and I was like really excited about it because I was like, I'm gonna slay this shit, like it's gonna be awesome. But I woke up really fucking late, like my mom figuredt to wake me up, and I woke up really late. So I ran downstairs and went into the dirty clothes bin and put on the first pair of pants that I saw because I thought they were mine, and they were my sister's miss Me jeans, and I wore miss Me jeans.

To school, like studded ass jeans, like.

Crazy, Like they were like the craziest fucking miss Me jeans I've ever seen. And I sat down in my chair and the only reason I noticed was because when I sat down, it like scratched the bottom of the chair, and I was like, oh, my fucking body. And not only was I taking a state mandated test thing, I also was wearing girl jeans.

And I was.

Fucking mortified, so mortified that I took my jacket off and I tied it around my waist and I.

Wore it for the rest of the day like that.

And I don't know if anybody noticed or if everybody was like get yours.

King, like yeah, pride, like live your life. But it was really fucking scary.

And there was another fucking part of this story that I'm literally forgetting right now, but yeah, I just wore those miss Me jeans and it was really fucking human.

Oh, this is what it was.

And since that point on, I either slept fully closed. All the way up until high school, I either slept fully clothed in the outfit that I was gonna wear the next day, like jeans and everything, or I would pick out my outfit and put it to the side.

But I yea.

I slept in my jeans, like I was never ever gonna have that mistake again because it actually traumatized.

My dad would get so fucking mad at me for sleeping in my school clothes. But I was like, I don't want to fucking get up and get ready, like I would just like rather fucking sleep in it.

I'm clean anyway, like I shower.

At night, so I'm like, I'm clean in my clothes, so I'm just gonna do this.

I was disgusting. I didn't shower.

That's really nasty. I cannot believe you just took a bite of that sundwich.

Why it's so I hate it sitting raw back there, like it's freaking me out, like all the dust getting on it. It probably tastes good though. Dust smells good, Like let's talk about that. Dust literally has like a good scent. Dust smells like love. And I was gonna say something I already forgot while you were talking.

Oh, we've created while our own god is the algorithm.

While you were talking about like testing, I just remembered that while we were taking the f cat in fourth grade, I sat on my chair like this.

To talk to someone behind me. Like I was like this talking to someone like behind me, and I thought I had a silent.

Far oh no, and it was a loud ass far literally.

Like it's actually so funny that every human being just far is farting all the time.

Just going to be silent or not.

Like I was just like, oh, it's a little one, like it won't be loud, dude, so loud, and I literally like I took it like a champ. I was like, I was like I just made a joke about farting, and I was like, yeah, I don't give a fuck, like I'm gonna far on all you like I don't care, Like I literally just farted on your head because like my ass was literally like you know, when tables an't lined up like this, So I literally farted on the back of someone's dead.

It's thought about that, like, dude.

They literally deserve that.

Every single person I just watched this episode has farted during this episode.

Not every single person that would be crazy.

I mean, there are a lot of people who like eat and watch this, so maybe they.

Are farting while they're eating. I don't know, wait how that works.

No, I don't, okay, I guess you far a while after you eat, like sometimes like an hour after when you're digesting, you'll let out a little too.

So maybe I got the timing on that wrong. But it's an hour long episode.

So if you like are fucking famish and you scarf down your food in the first five minutes, by the time we get to media, you're letting out your little toots from your fucking meal.

Yeah, ma'am, yes there, yes, there yaesa. It's giving.

What like, what are you gonna say?

Nothing? I was filling the void the silence.

Did I talk about my uber driver who almost fucking hit a girl and then yelled at her?

And I think we talked about it like two episodes.

Ago, really, but the habit in Paris then that we didn't talk.

Literally, while I was in Paris, I was like, you know what, I'm gonna go out today, but it was so hot that I was like, I'm not about to walk around like because it was like a twenty thirty minute walk to where I was going. So I was like I'll get there and then I'll walk around. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go out alone and spend all day alone.

And I got in the car and I was like.

Yeah, and I got in the car because I was like, oh, it's gonna be like cold in a car, bitch. First of all, this man did not have the AC on, so it was so hot in there. And I we turned the corner from the hotel.

Well, they don't have AC in Paris cars. Who told you that?

I That's like, that's what the people are saying. It's like, who are the people? That's what the people are saying.

But I didn't even get a corner around from the fucking hotel room or from the hotel. And my Uber driver almost slammed into a girl who was crossing the street and if she had the right to cross.

And instead of just being like, oh my god, I'm so sorry and like driving away, they started arguing, like insanely. He put down the window, was like and started yelling at her.

Is that your impression of fringe people like gibberish?

Yeah?

No, literally, I'm not kidding, Like I can't believe, like there's a different language that I don't understand, but that's like I've already said that.

But they started yelling at each other, and I have.

A feeling he called her like a whore or something, because then she started repeating it back and being like oh yeah, like like that was her energy. She was like like if someone called someone like a slut, she was like, oh, I'm a slut, Like, oh, that's what

Like literally like sweating my ass are the most angry people.

Yeah, And I was like do I just get out?

Like I might just get out and like get in a taxi or something, but I was like too nervous to make that big of a stand because I was like imagine, like I'm like, Okay, he's being fucking rude to this girl, fuck him, and like open the door to get out, and that's the moment he drive off and I fucking like slam onto the pavement.

But it was so awkward and like people started.

Coming around to like turn fear like they were going on for so, actually, I'm gonna play it and y'all tell me because I got like a small video of it, and like, if you speak fucking French, tell me what these motherfuckers are saying. Also, do you want to see a really nasty video of my toe? I got a blister and I never popped it. Yes, No, now you you sound like you really want it, Like.

No, just show just show it to me, just a fucking show it to me. Don't like fucking bring it up and not show it to me. You show me your feet.

Do you think this outfit looks good?

You need to wear that out or you need to wear that outfit out.

I just showed Drew picture of me wearing some shorts and a shirt my ass crack.

Wait, we need to start showing butt crack more.

Like that's the thing, Like no body humor is so funny. Like That's what I've realized recently is like that ship is so funny. Like why literally, as a grown ass adult, can my ass crack ever be out by accident?

Oh?

I think they said. I just saw Drew with Belahadiene with Belahad.

I don't like, but that was like two weeks before that happened, So how would they known that.

I don't know, they just like predicted that shit or something.

Relighting everything to the fact that you hung out with Bella.

That's my girl. I mean like essentially we're essentially dating.

Like basically, did she like confirm that to you or da? Are you just like mating that assumption? You have to speak up? Okay, now, I mean I'll take that answer, like that was a good answer.

M hmm, it's given good answer.

But like I was saying, I went back to my first place of work and my manager was still there, and I don't know, it was just really cute to like see them.

What sorry, I literally just thought about my butt cracking now literally like does this alpha look good? Okay? Yeah, so you saw them. Did you have a sweet conversation with them?

Yes, we just like caught up and my old co manager, she she's now a co manager of the place, Sarah.

She was just like really sweet to me, and I like missed that environment.

And I was like, you know what, like I could go back there and work. But then I thought about it and I was like, no, new new now. No, no, no no, But she made fun of me to my face. She was like, yeah, literally, you thought you were slick, but you would go into the fucking ice cooler and be on your iPhone for three hours, but you still got all your work done. So I never really got

The cast register almost every shift and be like, I don't know. It must have oh I'm so stupid.

I must have given a twenty instead of a one, like oh.

And I would just keep it and I would pocket it.

So every shift I would make twenty more dollars than I had to, honestly, and like.

That's good for you, Like you were going out of your way and getting what you wanted.

And what you deserve.

And I don't feel bad about it at all.

You literally, I mean it's like a huge corporation.

Exactly exactly, and I don't feel bad about it. And also I found out that the store I worked at was is number two most popular in the nation.

It's number two. Yeah.

Wait, are there racetracks in like other states or is it just like is there one here? Uh?

They need wa here? We have to we need we have to re engage in going into stores and just standing in them.

But the yeah, it doesn't have like stores the way other cities do. Like the targets here aren't as fun to stand in because they're like so small and it's like not a vibe, Like they don't have like the kind of trinkets that make it like fun to stand in. The Walmart is too far and it closes too fucking early.

Like, honestly, what given.

We need to go to Walmart tonight and literally loiter.

I'm not even joking me when we're supposed to we keep talking sure that. Yeah, No, tomorrow night we're gonna go to the gym, and now it's changed to Walmart.

I would rather go to Walmart than they, Like we could just lift the weights. We could lift the little children walking around.

But see when Walmart closes, because I'm like, if it closes at eleven, no, I need to be there, like I need to be there at a time when like the real freaks around and like I say that, like we're not the freaks rolling in.

But like I need like that the freaksing question.

What LA does have is like a good CBS.

Or right now the one on Normandy.

Let me see guys, meet up at the Walmart be.

There tonight, meet us at the Normandy Walmart.

Oh wow, this is not that far.

We should go to the Torrents one because that's where Bay lives.

Who Who's Bay?

Oh?

Bay? Like damn, that's far.

I know, I know. So it's basically.

It's basically.

That's my ideal relationship.

The first ad for being the go girl, like the female like pissing, standing up, contracting go girls, one of those Like actually, like I would you know?

That's it's these are targeted ads.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, Like, why is that on your phone?

Put the pieces together? I have a pisskink. We need to normalize long distance relationships.

That's probably one of the most normal things.

I I think it just became like super normal because I remember, like this isn't like necessarily long distance as much as it is. Like now, remember how like were you somebody who was like dating, like casually when you were like like when you when you were likerhes yeah.

But to me, I was like I would no.

I mean like you had like a mutual who like you guys became friends and then it was flirty and then you were like, oh, like we're kind of.

Seeing never never flirty.

But I had crushes, okay, So I like would always engage in those kind of like interactions on the internet, and I had like a bunch of like little like relationships online.

But I could never tell my class.

I could never tell my friends in real life because when I was younger, that was so fucking crazy and like there people would be like, there's no way that's not a fucking like old man FaceTime them and stuff. It wasn't like normal, And now I feel like it's super normal. Now.

I feel like most peak kids.

On the internet, like who are like thirteen fourteen or like talking to other thirteen fourteen year olds via TikTok and they're like, yeah, we're dating, Like yeah, that's my bay.

Literally what did I even say?

Oh, my ideal relationship is a long distance relations yeah, like like I never want to see my partner ever, like and that's it's simple really I need a date someone with like an insane job with awful hours, or just so I can have my space.

Yeah, I guess also distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Yeah, because then like you, since you see that person less when you do see them, you're more likely to like value.

That time than somebody.

Yeah, long distance can be a serf because you just get to like live your life and then you get to have time with that person and then you get to live your life and like vice versa.

Vice versa. But I feel like if you're somebody with.

Like a lot of trust issues and like things of that nature, it literally will kill you.

And like, don't even do that.

I know.

I'm like, I'm very curious to see how I'm going to react when I get into a relationship. If like I'm a really jealous like person, which I have a feeling i'm gonna be. I my first relationship is going to be so fucking toxic, Like it's gonna be dangerously toxic.

No. Literally, we were talking about this in the car and I was like, it's gonna be one of those most where it's like, oh, Michael is crazy.

My girl is crazy.

He's a psych where.

I'm like yeah, no, yeah, I feel not coming.

When your friend is the obviously wrong one, and I do.

Just like that's like the best way to like put it lightly is like I mean I could I could see how you why you would feel like that.

Yeah no, I'm literally like, but like let's look at look at it from their perspective, Like, let's see it from their perspective.

Yah, but okay, let's put on like the reality glasses. Let's put on the three D like Imax glasses.

And taking the ship colored lenses.

Uh is that your take on rose colored?

Yeah, Like, let's put on it like because reality is like shit.

Reality actually is really fun and I like love it and everything happening is like so fun. Like I just like life is awesome right now, Like there's literally nothing to complain about.

We haven't really talked about Bria from TikTok oh, that's our girl.

I am on her page so often that like, if you know my TikTok, like, I don't follow anybody because I literally and also it's not like a cunty thing on my part. I genuinely don't look at my following list. So that's why I'm I new account. I just didn't follow on anybody because I'm like the people I want to see, like I see them and like I still like their shit.

But I'm on her.

Page so much that I like always fall asleep and like wake up, and I'm.

Like, I'm fucking following her, like yeah.

And then I like, I unfollowed her twice because I don't like it to seem like of like I'm playing favorites kind of game.

But then I just left it because I'm like, I really do be on her page.

Yeah, she fucking rules, And I will never create. I will never make a dish she makes. Maybe maybe the Cowboy caviar, But like I just like watching people cook, and I like live I curiously through it, Like I just love like seeing people cooking. I'm like, one day that's gonna be me one day.

The Cowboy reminds me of like Pico the Gay.

Yeah, it's giving.

Yeah.

I will literally never ever cook. I will order Postmates for the rest of my life.

No, I'm I'm about to enter my cooking era because like when I start going to the gym, if I'm not eating all the time, I'm going to lose weight.

And I do not want to lose weight. I want to gain weight.

Yeah, and I want to be thick, not like I don't want a thick ass.

I mean that's like a.

Plus you like James Charles's body.

No, I want like like jacked on and who body, which is impossible for me to like.

I'm sorry to beg it too, but like, I don't think you have the bone structure, the bones, but I feel that I like, I think I'm someone who like I go through phases of liking cooking, but the problem with me is I like the same thing every single day, and then that's just like doesn't make cooking fun. And also I think it's because of my lack of ability to like really focus in and pay attention when I cook.

I do too much and then like, my dish is.

Like a million you're doing too much.

My dish is a million things in one plate, and then it tastes bad, and I'm like.

Why does this taste bad?

It's because it's literally every single vegetable that I bought three days and I put them.

In one thing.

All your dishes taste the same, but it's not like a bad thing, but they all taste the same thing because you use the exact same ingredients.

For all that because I like know what I like. That's my issue is like I don't want to charge something new.

I know what I like. But I wish I could be like a cooking girl like Maddie Bragg is like literally my dream. I wish I was like that fucking like that motherfucker. I was gonna say fuck her, and then I was like that sounds really aggressive, But I wish I was that girl, Like, oh my god, she'd be cooking. Yeah, And I'm like, I want this to be my life. But honestly, like you either that's either

Or you don't. I just don't like washing dishes like that.

Like I like keep my like food cooking to a minimum of like three things.

Yeah, yeah, I need to start cooking.

I've never seen you cook a day in my life. That's a lie. I've seen you boil hot dogs.

Yeah, hey, boiled the hot dogs like and drank the hot dog water and through the hot dogs. Wait, I baked those cookies I've ever eaten in my life.

Fuck? What was I gonna goddamn s.

I also wish I was a baking girl, But baking takes time. You bitches are like putting time aside. Like that's true.

Self care is like making yourself something a sweet, sweet treat, but I just can't.

I'd rather buy the sweet treat.

I was gonna say that the Greer show in Austin was easily the best smelling concert that I've ever been to. Yeah, like they our fans wash their bodies.

They y'all wash.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've never interacted with somebody who's stunk. Yeah, who is like a fan of us? They?

I mean, every show that I've been to lately has stunk like shit.

That one was a good show.

The girls smell good.

The girls are The girls are doing like the like lossier you perfume.

Literally literally, they're on smell.

They're all on smell talk literally.

I know I've talked about shitting so much this episode, but this.

Reminded me of when I when we were on tour and our very first show in Los Angeles, when I got so anxiety and nervous that I sprayed shit out of my ass and I essentially like went to the bathroom exploded shit out of my ass in the bathroom and then ran out and ran onto stage because it was like time to go.

Do you remember that? I was so scared, dude. I have such a fright stage fright. It's crazy.

I don't think I have stage fright, but which doesn't make sense.

It's very like certain.

Like particular things that give me like anxiety or like an anxious or like nervousness. But I don't feel like I know, I like I would get like nervous jitters, but like they were like in excitement, Like I was never like.

Oh fuck, like dreading to get on stage.

It's usually like I get a lot of adrenaline and I'm like.

We're about to like stand in front of people.

Yeah, mine is a complete opposite. I'm like, I can't do this. I have to go. I have to I just had to leave. We just had to cancel the show, and we'll just like ruin everybody's day.

Trying to think of what made me like anxious.

Recently, something big is coming. I took a COVID test because I thought I had COVID today and we almost had to cancel it. But next week's episode it's gonna.

Be a movie literally gonna smell like shit, We're gonna radiate from the screen.

We're figuring that out.

We have a few people working on it, so make sure when you're watching it you have like air freshener or something around, like light a candle and that's that. That's it for this episode.

No, actually, you know what, no media because you guys don't fucking deserve it. I'm kidding.

I did see someone be like, the media sometimes is so whack, and it literally is, and then they were like, it's I want to know what they're gatekeeping and I'm like, no.

No balls, I'm gatekeeping my balls.

I think I already said this. But see you soon by Bibadoobee is still like on rotation for me? Last Christmas is still oh what is this?

Is still on.

Rotation for me? A different Corner by George Michael because it's the wham effect, duh?

And should I give one more? Should I just feel like give one more? Tears in the Typing Pool by.

Broadcast Romeo and Juliet. Oh, I don't know what this is Romeo and Juliet Op.

Sixty four. Yeah, it's a symphony. You've definitely heard it.

I love I live for that right now. It makes me feel like I'm like, it's up to something crazy.

Yeah, as I say, it's like the point of the movie where like like on some Black Swan shit, where like everything's like boiling to the.

Top exactly, and then oh Superman by Laurie Anderson, and then I can never remember. Oh, I actually did not mean to do that.

I literally did. That's so embarrassing. It was.

It was the first, the last thing I searched up on Spotify and I just started up playing I can't.

Remember we got copyrighted for those exact parts.

Searching for a Risla rat Pack? What is that song?

It's rat Pack, that's literally the name of it.

Is it searching for I think it's searching.

For my Risla, searching for my Risla?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, searching for my Risla rat Pack?

Visual media still on my Survivor shit, I am going to watch uh, I forget their name.

I think it's John and Kate, John and Kate plus a. Yeah, No, I'm gonna John and Kate.

They're like, I watched the fuck out of that.

They're comedians online or they're just comedians and they have a new show that's coming out, the one that Elsie recommended, and I'm gonna watch that and I'll let you know how it is.

Well, I'm going to finish the Staircase. I have thirty minutes off to the last episode. That show was fucking crazy, and I do.

Want to watch the Elvis movie because I just need to know if I fucking hate it or not.

And that that's that.

On that Oh before we go, I played Quipblash with new people and I fucking.

Bombed and it was awful.

Oh really and.

Literally and like before we started, my friends who were with me were like, oh my god, she's so good at this game, like because her and her friends played all the time. And I was like, yeah, but like I'm really good like with my friends because I know their humor so well and we all know each other's humor. Like I don't really know. I was like kind of new people and I was like, I don't really know y'all.

That it was like a.

Few friends in New York who like, I don't think you've met that, like, but it was like people I've hung out with like once or twice, and like one of them being like at a party and like I've talked to them, but like I was like, oh, I don't really know like y'all's humor that well, so like there's a chance, like I don't really kill it.

And I bombed Like it's like it.

Was not so I made a joke that like as I typed it out, I was like, they're not gonna find this funny at all. And I went to go back out, but I act only sent it.

In And did they know it was you bombing?

I think so?

And I sent it in and I got an automatic win because the person who went against me didn't have time to put in their answer and it just like made it worse.

Oh and everybody's like, who the fuck said that? And I was like, ha ha ha, I probably would have won, Honestly, I don't think so.

Yeah.

I think that's just really really easy for me.

That's what you That's what the people are saying.

Yeah, we have Merge coming out on the seventh.

Oh my god, big announcement. You said that was like so much exciting?

Is it on the seventh?

Is it on? That's on the ninth?

U Merge coming out on the ninth.

Don't tickle my knee, motherfucker.

I was literally just you're literally fingering.

My hole, like okay, thank you guys so much for listening and watching and loving and learning and slang sh