Drew is target individual

Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Because you have that big ass fucking laptop on your lap.

I got the biggest one possible.

I know. That's what I'm like, why is it?

Like?

What do you have it?

Because there's some things on here that we need to talk Okay, yeah, there's some things on here that.

Your search history. We're gonna go through it and talk about it.

Honestly we could.

Can I can I type something in and see what pops up?

Let me do it first.

Well, you don't know what I'm gonna look up? What are you looking up?

Yeah? We're good looking up gay and looking up for Oh that site has been visited before.

Wait, what's the link? I would like to read it?

No, that's crazy. It just got it says huge in it though I can never and it's talking about breasts, big fucking knock.

I'll never get over Bronson's us talking about Sirchistor and me being like, yeah, I hate when someone takes my phone because like the links will pop up, and then you were just like, why don't you use incognito? And that changed my life?

You know what?

And people because I never did that before.

I don't know why I don't really use incognito because I'm not into damaging my brain, because porn is really damaging and like its conviction, and y'all all need fucking help. But you've never partaken that. But I can clock someone who is an avid porn viewer by opening their phone and gard as far and not even typing in a letter. But if it's incognito mode, they watch a lot of fucking porn because a lot of people just leave there, just use incognito mode as their search.

They know somebody who does that. We both are very close to somebody who doesn't know and you know who?

Oh I know? If you yeah, like you need to be slicker with the way you view your p word, well I.

Just buy it analogue. I believe in consuming magazines and then looking at pictures and leaving the rest of my to my imagination. But I also do this thing where I just I make my own zines and there used to pictures of you when you're not looking, And then I look at those and I let my imagination room and I think of the nights we've spent.

Are you using the shower camera?

Yeah? Oh my god, how do you know?

I installed it?

I know but like I didn't know you knew I had access to it?

Okay, whatever freaking me out right now, you're really scaring me.

Why do you have this big fucking contraption on your lap?

Okay, so I did.

We should put a sticker over that.

I know, I literally I literally thought about that, and I was like no, like Apple respect, like give me money, But I thought no, no, no. I got one of those ancestry ancestry DNA reports done. Yeah, I got one of those ancestry DNA reports done. Uh to find out like what I am obviously like I'm cracker, Like I'm literally one cracker, Like it's what it is, Like, it's okay, but what's up on top of that? I guy is like dying. But on top of that, I found out

I got a few people I could do that test on, you know what I mean, because all.

That spit was trapped in your crevices.

Also, while you were talking, I had a moment where I was gonna butt in and make a really stupid joke, and then I bit the fuck out of my tongue

I thought you were going to make like an old joke like over there dying because he's like eighty six or so.

No, I'm just gonna like just for people who maybe don't understand that phrase, like I don't want to like if someone's driving there, Oh my god, Cuy's dying. I need to like switch over to visual, Like he's not dying. He's When we say that, we mean like he's laughing so hard.

Yeah, when I say like I'm dead as fuck, I'm dead as fuck.

But anyone who's eight million years old listening and cous.

Okay, So prometheer Is takes that DNA data and tells you like based off of specific like whatever they're fucking called. Don't ask me questions about it. It's beyond my head. But like it goes through each DNA strands and it finds like the markers in your DNA that like show higher risk for certain things, and it's like it's good bad and just like whatever and like it like which it's actually funny because I have it just highlighted on bad and mail is popping up, which is interesting.

But like you being a male.

Yeah it is bad, but guys, like it's over for me, like you really thought like I thought it was blood cloths, like I thought it was black mold, like I thought it was like anything else other than this. But like it's so like I'm down bad, like I might.

Much worse than we could have ever imagined.

I literally like might not make it.

The thing is, I just don't like I believe in science, but I don't know that I believe in this because I'm like, Okay, one, it's insane that like your data is just out there after doing that one thing to buy this information from someone else. But two, bitch, if I was running this business, I would lie.

It's deleted in forty five days. Oh really yeah, but that's why I did it because I was like, I'm not doing all that, but this is so bad. So guys, I don't know how much longer we're gonna be able to do this podcast for because like this is really really bad. But it says significantly increased approximately twenty times more than the average person risk for a rare B cell lymphoma.

Bitch, I don't know what that means.

Like I literally like what you said, cancer, I have twenty times higher risk of getting B cell cancer. This is it's like so bad, Like yeah.

And you don't have like you don't you don't know that you have.

It's probably already bruin in there.

Like this is the equivalent to like reading someone's charts have a bad day today, but we don't know.

I was saying today that I was like, this is so bad for me, because like this is literally like looking at how I'm going to die basically because there's more shit on here, Like I have an increased risk for type two diabetes, like a generational risk.

Like we kind of knew that.

Yeah, like we I have that.

You literally your body physically can't digest any meal. I have a like ten calories and.

Go to sleep immediately. I got a five point seven times increased risk for thyroid cancer.

Where's what's a thyroid? It's in your throat right right? Oh, well, I know how you got the throat one.

This one's crazy. I got a six point two times increased risk of developing prostate cancer.

Again, now how you go that one's.

This one says and it read me to filth that I probably have scaly skin patches, which is.

Just like you're kind of ugly. You might die from cancer.

But this is the greatest information I have ever gotten in my life, and it quite literally might be the only reason why. Yeah, and it says unlikely to go bald, not.

If I have anything to do with it, not as long as you're living with me. Because when I hit it in the back, I ripped that hair. I was like, it's such a bad habit.

I'm also going to get breast cancer probably at something.

That's what it does. Yeah, I just don't find this kind of jokes funny.

Ummm wait, there's some more shit age related mascular degeneration.

So you're gonna get authritis probably.

Yeah.

I feel like, actually everybody, I have a four time risk for rheumatoid arthritis. And it just says in Caucasians.

Why does everybody not get authritis? And with age you kind of just get it.

Not everybody. Rheumatward arthritis is like you can get arthritis and that's just like I think general aches and pains, yeah, just general like with age, but rheumatoid arthritis is like a disease. I'm pretty sure.

Like it's like really fucking your shit up.

Yeah, you're like down.

Imagine not being able to finger yourself, bro, Like damn.

Yeah, that does.

I guess you have the technology to do it with other things. God made so many things.

But I'm trying to get where because you can just highlight all the good stuff. But it's not freaking popping.

There is no good stuff, dude. That's the thing is like there's no way to highlight it because there's nothing good in your future. I know.

Like literally this says the only one I thought.

It says you should kill yourself.

Yeah, I know. This one says like I have like an abnormally large penis, and like big fuck.

Oh wait, because I don't say that.

This one actually does say that, like my brain is really massive, and that like it probably goes over.

I want to see.

It's like like everything I say and that like you're really misunderstood and like just things like that, like just generally.

Misunderstand it got that from your DNA. How would they know that? Don't Drew has issues? Dude. The things Drew spends money on, I don't understand. Like if you were ever wondering what Drew spends his money on, it's ship like that and this, and I think that's like a really good in rocks.

Rocks and bugs. This okay for the girls that don't know, because I'm sure a few of y'all out.

There, this is like an insane show.

This is called a duo on And like I said, a few episodes ago, I am like so incredibly down bad, and like I'm really addicted to Pokemon Go right now. This connects via Bluetooth to your Pokemon Go app, and while you're driving or walking, you don't even have to open the Pokemon Go app. It just spins the stops and catches the pokemon for you. Guess how much this was for all that convenience? Too much? How much?

I know? So I can't say.

I would guess seventy bucks?

Wow, that was actually really good, really good.

Guess were ten dollars lower? It was eighty fucking dollars.

That's it's for convenience and no.

For convenient Let me see if that's that feels like?

Even make that joke, because it literally feels like it's should be three bucks.

Yeah, this you could have got this on shean, Yeah.

But it probably would have hacked my Pokemon Go account.

How do you know this isn't hacking your phone? This is just collecting data, like you're What doesn't make sense is you're somebody who's so scared of being surveillanced and watched, but then you openly and willingly carry a data collecting thing in your pocket. So that you can have digital Pokemon on your phone.

I am a targeted individual, but we all know this already.

I was talking about that the other day with somebody, and I was like, there was an error where Drew genuinely thought and at first I was like, oh my god, this is another one of his like when he thinks he has blood cloths, like he thinks he's like like has an ear infection or something. But there was a time where Drew genuinely was convinced he was being followed and stocked, which again doesn't make sense because no offense boring.

Person wouldn't want all this.

Like I don't think it's not like a sexual.

Thing, though it was. It was like they want me so fucking bad. No, it was more of like I knew too much, Like I was.

Too but what do you know that any other schizophrenic person with a TikTok account doesn't know? Like what did you know versus those people?

Not much?

Honestly, like it's it's it's really bad. No. I was literally just like, actually I really thought I was like being followed or the universe was sending me signs and ship through like fucking blinkers and lights that were out on vehicles, like headlights. When I was driving at night. It was really really scary because I'd be like, oh, there's another one, there's another one, there's another one, and

Like, if you think about it, it was kind of during COVID time. So in my head that makes sense because I'm like, people are less likely to want to go to a shop or like get their shit fixed.

Actually, what it was is it was the higher powers telling me not to sit on the left side of the vehicle because that's car. A car is going to hit me.

And that's why you were a passenger, Princess, not because you didn't have a car and you're bad at driving, but because the higher powers were telling you that you need to sit the passengers.

You knew, you know it, But yeah, I was. I was a targeted individual for a while. I'm not anymore.

I will say that light that shines the like camera thing that shines in our backyard doesn't make sense, but I'm assuming that's like a mini five G tower so I can watch more tiktoks.

Yeah, exactly, that's all take it is weird. And they were working on it the other day and the workers were all really sketchy and looking at us. I think it is like a camera or like a light our censor, like facing into our backyard, but like what we.

Can't get from that?

Oh it's direct?

What are you doing in the back Yeah, what are you doing that?

You're like, you don't want to know that.

Oh, my nails are so fucking brittle and than right now, I feel so emasculated, like like when I when my nails get cut or I buy my nails too short, it makes me like five percent weaker, Like I don't know how to describe it, but when my nails go when they're after being long and I cut them short, like I.

Feel you don't live in a primitive time where you need strong nails.

Though I know well I climb tree stick a lot.

I don't think like I think even if your nails were strong, would they help you climb trees? Imagine putting all your weight on your nails.

I don't know, I really don't know.

Well, I think porta potties are like remember how you keep talking about barbarian things that we do. Porta potties are so barbarian and weird. I've always felt so weirded out by them. They are so nasty, like there has to be a better system. It's just shit and piss sitting there and you go in the sun, right, yeah, you go, and you spray your piss on top of it. All the particles are like bouncing up, all the bacterias bouncing up right into your hole. You're gonna die, You're

Me too. I would like to see you do that too, can you you want to see me?

Papa Squad?

Yeah, I would really like that. Actually, no, yeah, port potties are really scary, and they give me bad fucking vibes, like even beyond just like the shit and his stingch like in there, like literally just like the energy it gives off. I'm like some weird shd.

Like there's never a light in there, even when it's in a dark place. It's like fully dark, and they make the plastic thin enough that a little light seeks through, and it's just like they make it dark in there, so you can't look directly into the hole that you're doing your business in because then everybody will step back and be like, this is the weirdest thing ever. And that's why they don't put lights in porta potties, is because they don't want you to see exactly what's going

That might be their goal.

That might be the goal, Yeah, but they're really gross and they scare me. Also, these little water contraptions that you step on to wash your hands that they've like invented in the past five years. Before that, there was nothing to wash your hands outside of a porta potty, which is really fucking nasty. But also like the water sitting in there is just like this freaks me out because I'm like, there's no way there's enough water in

Yeah, I know those. I think those were like a really really great invention. It was a reactionary invention.

Though they need a mirror on it or something. Though also when mirror like bathrooms don't have mirrors. I'm pretty sure I've said this, but it literally feels like a death sentence. Like, man, it feels like I'm being thrown into an asylum.

Candy Man?

Is that what that movie is about? A mirror?

But if you say candy Man three times into a mirror, it pops up.

Oh so it's like Bloody Mary.

Yeah.

Wow, so they replaced Bloody Mary with a man.

Candy Man is candy Yeah, candy Man is the one with the hooks.

And did you see that movie?

I saw it like twenty years ago, Like my dad loved that.

Movie for some reason. Candy Man sounds like a new movie to me.

They remade it. Oh okay, yeah, but the old one there was like a scene where he was like covered in bees or something, and it scarred me for life. We are are we taught to be afraid of bees? Or are we just like? Is it prime? Like?

Is it in?

Yeah?

I think it might be natural human instinct, because it's not like in school they taught us like what bugs to be scared of. Was that your fucking Pokemon thing talking to you? Yeah, it's speak as a speaker on it. Yeah, can you play music off that thing?

No, but I can out listen listen, listen.

Listen eighty seven Pokemon hot.

It kind of keeps track of everything I've done, and since I've gotten it, ninety seven Pokemon stops visited. That's incredible.

Well, your bag is full, That's what I just told you, So it's not going to be collecting anymore.

Tell me's wrong with that speaker? I have to put it.

Why don't you just turn it off? You don't want to stop catching Pokemon?

No? Yeah, I'm going to keep it on to catch all of the race Pokemon in our vicinity.

Dude, something is seriously you're wrong with you.

It's up and it stuck.

I saw Drake and it actually for once, I was actually not for once. Two people I've seen live performing who have actually made me feel like I had a prank being played on me was Doja Cat at the Heaven event in New York.

She's part of the Illuminati.

Now you know, I'm not kidding. I'm I genuinely I rarely am stepping back and I'm like, this is insane. Actually that's not true. Every time I see a famous person and see the way people interact with them, I genuinely feel like a prank is being pulled on me because I can't believe that our human brains are like that intrigued with a random fucking person, and it really freaks me out. And two, it literally makes me step back and I'm like, this is holly weird. Like I understand.

I need him on the podcast.

I would have sex with him, though, do not if you're hearing this, I will have sex with you, like no questions, because I will say. He did come down like near where we were standing, where our tickets were, and I saw him and the way my like, I like was like, oh my god, whoa uh Hi Like the way I felt, I felt like a teenage girl. But then the second he was on stage, like the second he was like ten feet away and I saw

Isn't there like a hologram of him? But it's like someone projecting, projecting mapping his face on like a younger version of.

Him, And yeah, it is like it's it's weird, Like I don't understand how they did it.

Well.

I wasn't close enough to see if the kid actually like looks like him or had something on his face, but on the screen they have it like like a deep fake thing of his own face playing, and the kid is like, I guess told the move really weird because he looks like an animatronic. And I when I first saw I was like, oh my god, he has a hologram, Like what the fuck is that? And then I realized it was actually a couch and like actually a person on there. But it was really really scary.

Yeah, any anytime, I'm at a concert, like it's like the most euphoric I've ever been. Like I'm like, oh, like, I love this so much. I love that everyone is here for the same thing. And then like I always have these really really low moments where I like am looking at a sea of people in the back of their heads and like they're all like barely moving, and I'm like, are y'all even alive? Like are people existing

Yeah, I get other people just like enjoy their life.

I get the most existential I've ever been, like ever self aware and existential concerts. Every time I go, I'm just like, this is so so bizarre.

It gets so scary, Like I don't know, it was really weird. Also, people kept taking videos of me, and I'm like, guys, yeah, I know.

It was weird.

I was I was telling everyone that that video is like, literally I think one of the funniest things you've ever done, one and two, Like it was one of those moments where I was like jealous, like that I wasn't the one to make that joke, Like I was so like, damn, this is so funny.

Somebody reposted that video on TikTok and one of the top comments was like, do you understand how confused the people who were trying to film Drake are when they look back at that video and to see you looking at them like, hey, I'm here. There was one girl who she like behind her phone, like had her phone like this and kept being like she was like like

To someone to stabbing today. Yeah, I think we need to have Doja cat On to fight the Illuminati allegations. I think what I think is it's a case of all publicity is good, publicity taken too far, and this whole satanic panic, like everyone playing off of this satanic panic, like as publicity is just so tried and fucking boring, and like everyone was just fucking fed up with it, and like Dojah just took it too fucking far. She was just like like, yeah, I don't know, that's my

Guys? Is it?

Like?

How would we know?

It's right in front of you? Guys, we're not in the Illuminati. You remember the black Eye photo of me.

You know, the thing of those people like touching the orb.

No, what I'm talking about, Like, why don't you ask me if I know about it?

Well, I assume since you're a.

Girl, you're I was that you're not as intellectual as as boys.

Well, Drew's obviously the schizophrenic one, you know.

And I'm the normal one.

Yeah, there's always one normal one and one schizophrenic one in the squad. But no, it's like some island that all these conspiracy theorists were like, oh, elites go to this island and they do ritual.

I was like the big owl burning.

Yes, yeah, and like photos came out of like actual people that were like touching an orb and like Hillary Clinton's there bruval to one.

White people just like take an overly holistic viewpoint of their life because they get so bored and they don't have problems, and then they're like, we need to do something the end, like we just need to do something, like literally so bored. So they yeah, so they start just like going and making ship up like that has to be the equivalent of that. It's like it's like

Yeah. And then there there's that big fucking tunnel too that they dug through and then yes, and it was for Lana del Rey release party and they had like a really demonic like ritual done like a big dance thing, and like watching it like when I was fourteen, I was like, oh wow, this is really crazy. But I think it's literally just like people like being stupid, and that's what I'm gonna choose to believe, So I don't go.

They're all fucking high as ship.

They all did show you the video. It's it's honestly really bizarre, like the ship that they're acting out, and.

It's like, wait, is it famous people?

No, No, it's like rich people, really really wealthy people, like board through a mountain and like the opening it was like a big hole in the ground, and like the ceremony after was like just really creepy, and it was like the the Olympics Ypning in twenty twelve or something like that or twenty sixteen, like had like a big ass like sculpture of like a grim reaper and

Well, the only time I watched the Olympics was in twenty twelve when One Direction performed that's the only time I've ever seen anything about the Olympics. Like, I'm not kidding. Is it the Olympics happening in LA this year? M or is it next year? Twenty twenty four?

Twenty twenty four?

Why are we going to the Olympics. That's fucking life it Wait that was the Olympics, I know. And then they's kind of insane for the Olympics.

That's what I'm saying. Wait that was the Olympics too, Yes, and then there's like crazy people in like beds and shit, like it's really it's really it is really bizarre.

Wait, why is it a pirate.

Eight?

This is Hamilton. I've never seen Hamilton bro. I don't know what that is.

Yeah, I just know that one dude is like really creepy.

Puerto Rico him.

Yeah, exactly right. But what did you just say? Oh you just said something.

I said, I've only seen the Olympics when One Direction play, that's the only time I tapped in. And I remember that day so vividly because that was the day I was like thirteen. I was like, I'm going to live in New York and be a writer. And I was sitting there watching One Direction, which is like okay, like you swear, like what the fuck? Like you're literally watching and I was eating special case cereal and it was really fun and I missed those times.

The only time I really tuned into the Olympics was Michael Phelps like Gold Metal Run, And when I found out Michael Phelps smoked weed, it was earth shattering.

Like heartbreaking or yes, I was like, it's like when we all found out Zaane and Justin Bieber smoked weed and.

We're like, stop, well Justin Bieber smokes myth with Selena Gomez. Have you seen the video of them like literally like running through like a met like a meth populated area, and like they just bought meth and they like are running away.

No, Sean Men doesn't call.

The video of them walking that was literally one of the best videos ever. We got to insert that.

Yeah, we have to insert our recreation of it too. We were so.

Fucking we were literally was that pandemic board.

They were going on their pandemic walk and it was like Shot Mendays and Camela Comeo taking a pandemic walk.

Oh there's like a big ass fucking squirrel in that tree.

Right now, you have a you have adhd spot squirrel, shiny squirrel. You know what was I saying?

Shiny shiny object.

Next time I go to a store and a like clerk or sales assistant is being too pushy and really trying to make me buy something I don't want to buy, I'm just gonna fucking steal it.

Where were you want to get rid of it? So bad?

It was literally a video game store. They were like trying to push video games on us. So I stole a bunch of stuff in retaliation for a business that needed my purchase. I stole from them.

Yeah, I think we should. I'll just start stealing from small businesses. Bus it's also just boring, yeah, like stealing from people who have enough money like that can afford it. Like, no, I want to ruin people's lives.

Yeah, I want this to Like really, I want to cause a domino effect. I don't do anything just to do it. I do it for the domino effect.

We should destroy the economy. Oh, when they're like all these freaking financial studies coming out that like Taylor Swift when she goes to certain places on tour that she like stimulates the economy like in a crazy way, Like I think it was it was Philadelphia or it was either Philadelphia or another P word place that she goes.

A key word you're thinking of is your mom's p word, because when I go there, I over stimulated.

It was actually your gat pussy Like girl, you got a gat for a vagina? Bagina is gat?

Yeah, but.

What is that you gotta gat a gat bajina? What it's like when you see like a But you're supposed to go yeah, damn okay, but like people are, you're not supposed to say like that, goad damn what got you gotta get? But Taylor Swift, But Taylor Swift stimulates how he.

Said button not booms? She said big button not But so it's not straight Okay, sorry, okay. Taylor Swift stimulates herself keep going.

No, she stimulates the economy in the craziest like that. But you know, in Pennsylvania, Philadelphia somewhere, the like Tourism Board like said that it was the most hotels ever rented out in a single three day period, and it was something like three hundred thousand hotel rooms were rented out, which like if you think about that for three that's hotels that's like a billion dollars in revenue for Pennsylvania,

Literally gonna like the economy is going to be boost I'm honestly gonna feel bad for everybody in those towns who like aren't used to that kind of like traffic, traffic. They're gonna like be like to work and stuff.

And it's damage the economy. We're gonna have to like file for bankrupt Yeah, we're gonna have to like beg the government to give us money back. What the fu were you looking at looking at your vagina?

The thing is you like work because you're gonna.

Reeks in here.

I almost said something so fucking gross, but.

What are we gonna say?

It wasn't even that gross, but it was just disgusting to say to you. But I was gonna be like, oh, do you want to just give it a taste so you can put the rumors to us. But the idea of me looking at you and saying.

Do you want to well this this is one line in one line only, and we're not touching on it for any longer than we have to, but Big Sexy Man had emergency or complaying in the background. If you're watching, Hello, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I know you immediately.

And what's crazy is I I had already stalked this person a lot, a.

Lot of a lot of videos we're seen. Why are you backtracking because now you're.

Embarrassed because I'm embarrassed.

But you can we can. We don't have to talk about it.

Yeah, we can move on. Let's move on, should I? This is all notes on a specific event that happened that I was like, I wanted to talk about. What's the I want to make a movie about it, or like write a movie about it, because it is the one of the craziest things ever heard happen, and no one's made a movie on it yet, and it's fucking crazy because it would be like a sick Cronenberg movie. I mean not Cronenberg Coen Brothers or like Cronenberg. He's

I don't know about that, brog Like I'm sorry, nineteen oh four isn't a year I need to have any like knowledge on It's damn. I'm sorry, but that squirrel is going in. He's hanging upside down right now, Squirrel.

It's the worst race ever.

Look at it, Drew. His feet are hanging off do you see that his feet are hanging off the let.

He's tweaky where I don't know, I've never seen them do that. He's like using his feet to.

Hold him and his tail. He's gonna fall and fucking die. Did Dude? What's crazy is that animal has no fear of literally falling to his death right now, Like that's not even on his mind. Do you see that guy?

Oh whoa, Yeah, he has.

Really big nipples. It had like six big ass fucking nipples, fucking massive areolas.

I've never seen a squirrel actually do what a score was meant to do. Usually they just like want.

Climbing on trunk of the tree. Yeah, they're like climbing on roofs and fucking wires.

Yeah.

But the nineteen oh four Olympic Marathon was the worst race in human history. It was like in nineteen oh four, so they obviously didn't understand like proper hydration and like how to take care of people.

By nineteen oh four, they didn't know they needed water.

They knew they needed water, but they didn't know like at the rate.

They didn't know that they needed red forty.

Which I'm still I'm still like, I don't believe that we need that much water to survive, because I swear to God, from like six years old to like twenty one, I only drank Coca cola.

For that's being really nice to yourself from twenty one to twenty five right now, because no, no, no, no, don't really. Oh my god, it's funny because it wasn't on camera and I haven't seen that in your hands since we last recorded. I have seen it in his hands.

Proper hydration like your cup water, well, it is just jizz. That's addie water. When me and Ya were on press play, we would find adderall pills and dump them into bottles of water because we wanted to share them. But they were the ones that you had, the like capsules that had a bunch of little beads in it, and we would put it in water. But it's not water soluble, so we would shake it up and it wouldn't melt, and we would go to drink it.

And like each other those little pellets.

Yeah, and we were like fighting to be the person to get the last swig and like whoever got.

The last swig you will never guess who won.

Yeah, Ann your one. And it was fucked up, but yeah, we were We were drinking adderall water, you know.

And I was up till eight am and then we continued to go and meet all of you guys. Hung over at the ripe age of seventeen. It was bloodshot eyes shaking.

In like a in a in like purgatory almost like it was really crazy, like you couldn't even think thoughts. Okay, So this race was on unpaved roads. It was like dirt roads. They were running on dirt roads through the middle of the city in Saint Louis.

Running from the coming of Christ, like running off.

It's so crazy. And like also they started this race at three pm in Saint Louis in the middle of fucking summer. So in the shade it was ninety degrees and outsider shade it was upwards of one hundred and five degrees running a marathon, which in today's standard, like you cannot start a race legally if it's higher than seventy degrees, Like really, I mean I think you can, but it's like really really hardly recommend and did that, Like you don't start The ideal temperature to start a

This is the Olympics. This isn't like someone was just having fun.

This is the Olympics and they were only was it the first Olympics. No, there were only two water stations. And the reason why it's fucking crazy. So the commissioner of the race was like using these people as like experiments and he wanted to like research quote unquote purposeful dehydration, which is crazy. Yeah, so they only put two water stations in one hundred degree weather to like experiment on these like poor fucking racers. Like it was so so sad,

And this is not any of those bitches.

Yeah, they're they're real, real, like healthy and like people were literally just like collapsing it and like coughing up blood and like literally almost dying because of all the dust they were inhaling on this race, like they were spinning.

They do it on the road like that on purpose or they just it was just that was just a plus for the freaks who were putting on the experiment. They were like, oh cool, yeah.

Now we get the see yeah, we get to see their freaking well. Like, this race was so insane that people were literally like being run off the fucking course by rabid animals and like dogs were chasing them around. Yeah, it's like really really crazy PanAm. Yeah. Yeah, this was in Orlando. So this this is a story. I'm like, oh, Wes Anderson needs to make a movie about this. But one of the racers I thought he was like happy with his movies.

Oh that's the story of one of the races.

Yeah, one of the racers was this mail man from Cuba.

Shut the hell, Yeah he's talking.

I think that was the first time I've ever sneezed on it.

I think so.

I think though it sounded very like a like a girl sneezing sound.

Yeah, it was like a really girlish sneeze.

What's wrong with that?

I bet he's going to put a vocalizer on it to make it deeper, Yeah, because it was like you and like stretch it out.

A little bit, you like, let out a little b Yeah, I'm going to edit a bunch of farts throughout the entire episode while you guys are talking.

That's good for Are you calling me fart mouth?

WHOA?

That's good for us.

Actually, one of the racers was a mail man from Cuba and like, so to get to the Olympics is like it's really fucking expensive and like you need sponsors and like you need funding. Like a lot of people just can't afford to go to the Olympics on their own, especially in nineteen oh four, what was.

It like three dollars to go.

Yeah, yeah, before inflation. He was doing this thing called like running for money or something. I don't know the fucking term for it, but he would literally just like run around Cuba money. Yeah, he would run around Cuba and just like collect donations from people. Yeah, and like they to get him to the Olympics, because like he wanted to go really badly. Well, it's finally time for

And he goes to Miami and starts a family and now he still lives there.

Well, this dude is alive, Yeah, exactly. Well, this dude is like, oh fuck, I like have a race, So he like starts hitchhiking, but he has no money to get to the fucking race. So he starts hitch hiking, and he's like taking buggies and cars and riding trains all the way to Saint Louis.

At the cars and shit looked like and there was a cars yet they were insane.

And then he gets there, and when he gets there, it's like seconds before the race, and there's photos of him, and right before the race he's in like civilian clothings. He fucking stinks. He's been traveling for forty hours. He hasn't eaten in forty hours.

He's like, so, oh, bitch, God, imaginetting this on your sweet sixteen I'd be pissed talking about reading an eve Babbit book. And she was like, in this book, sorry, interp, but in this book she's talking to somebody who grew up in like the fucking nineteen twenties and shit. So by the time this girl was sixteen in nineteen twenty seven, her parents gave her a car and they were like, oh, it was a Ford Model T. And me looking for a bit just car. I'm like, oh, what's a Form Model T.

Bitch, you were looking at them? You were gonna buy a Ford Model T because fucking eat babbits, because not.

Even eave babbits out of her friend had it. Wait, Ford Model T. Look at this fucking car.

Oh no, Steven's dad has one.

Yeah, bitch, here I go the fear I go. Wait. It was literally like like one of.

These, Yeah, those are classics.

Actually this is low key lit like i'd be serving Great Gatsby.

Yeah, great gats speak where it's giving the light. Okay. So this dude gets to the race right before it's about to start, and he's in just full civilian clothing and all these racers are in like short short it's like off sleeves, like they're literally just like ready and prepared for the race. Well he's like, fuck, I can't race in this, so he literally cuts off his pants like into shorts, and he cuts the sleeves into short

This seems like a story like a teacher would tell you about taking your time in life. So there was this man.

So then there was this guy named Fred Lores who was the winner. And he finished the race in three hours and fifteen minutes, which I think for today's standards is pretty fucking fast, let alone doing it in a hundred degree weather in nineteen oh four. Oh he had that water. Yeah, yeah, yeah he got he had the yeah he had yeah he had gorpcore. Well, this dude is a good runner, like world class, and he was

It was the lone survivor of the world's most chaotic marathon and getting to.

Hit Yeah, no, he won. He was probably really stinky he probably a good pheromone.

Yeah, she was calling his pheramount.

I mean, he's getting interviewed. And then it comes out that this dude halfway through the race collapsed at mile nine from like dehydration and cramps and took a fucking car all the way to a mile before the finish line and just jogged the rest and like he made it believable enough that like it was like, yeah, so he cheated and got first place. Did he hit though, Yeah, he smashed, he hit. He fucking finessed Franklin Rozer Belt's dobble fuck man. But the real winner was Thomas Hicks.

On my birthday, we are going to crack a bottle off Casamigos into my mouth, throw an egg in there, and I'm about to literally run back to Miami.

Yes, and then so that still wasn't working, so they gave him fucking stryct nine, which is rat poison. They just gave him a bunch of fucking rat poison. So they gave him brandy.

He sounds like the best day ever, I know, d well he was.

He was like tweaking off the fucking bean. Like he was literally like hallucinating, like this shit like affects your nervous system, Like I forget what it's like toxic to your nervous system. So like it just like whatever motion you're doing, your body just does and you like can't fucking stop. So he's like repeating this like jogging motion, like all the way to the fucking finish line, and eventually like another couple miles in like his he's like

It's hard to believe that all these things were happening during this one run.

I know, it's really really crazy. Well, he's literally like a zombie at this point, like just like like stumbling. Yeah, getting through it and even crossing the finish line in this race is like you deserve a metal like this. It's crazy. They were like breathing in fucking glass dust and like chemicals and it was dirt and it was so bad.

Well, like.

Oh I wrote down age American horror story Asylum post lobotomy, it's like what he was, like what he looked like, Yeah, full blown LSD trip. Well, he crosses his finish line and he's like tweaking so hard off this trick nine that when his like uh, people lift him up, he still running like you know when you like put a dog over like water and they like swim like with their legs. He was doing that in real life. But

This is what we're doing. You got to get that pick of me and Auber.

I would literally do rap poison just because it sounds fun. But this dude in three hours and twenty minutes lost eight pounds and I'm like, damn, like skinny, like skinny, skinny, skinny, Like I need to do that.

Like so basically he walked away like a triple winner.

Yes exactly, that's why. And on the race, in the race, so.

He was, but did he he What's crazy is he didn't get to hit Roosevelt's daughter.

No, no, no, no, like but him, come on, but yeah he he won the real race, the skinny race, And yeah he came out in the closet and was a winner. Wait what if I told you that I made all of that up?

I would like, seriously think you need psychiatric house.

I made all that up?

Did you actually know?

Oh?

I believe They're like, damn, you're so creative.

Like I was just like, damn, we gotta take that iPad away from you. And take you outside.

I have that baby, But no, that's like obviously nineteen oh four stories, so there's like a lot of like fucking lies in there, but like, yeah, it's crazy. Also, there was just like a lot of weird, funky shit going on like previously with that Olympics, and like it was just it was a really really humans are.

So bored, Like we are literally.

Sod the Olympics, Like it's so so fucking so funny.

It's literally like, dude, let's see how good we could get it doing a.

Flood, Let's see how good we can throw this ball, Like it's so cool, so weird, dude, they need to do the sex Olympics because I'd probably went gold like in most of the categories, like most sex had like gooddest at sex, like biggest penis, like that's bob. I would went all those categories.

I don't think, so.

All right, well, I'll leave you off with one more thing. And I was watching a TikTok and this dude like fell down that slide and like one of the comments was like, oh he gave us like a whimpering audio or something, and it was highlighted blue, and I was like I shouldn't click that. I really I should not click what that blue text right now because it's gonna be the worst thing I've ever fucking heard in my life.

And you can link stuff in TikTok comments now.

I don't know how they did it, but like it was like blue in the comment and I clicked on it, and what I found is the most appalling, horrific, craziest shit ever. It's just a bunch of like blank screens with exclamation points saying turn it up, turn it up, like literally just like in headphones, like and it's like it's a Whimper challenge and it's fuck uh.

Stops ups all dude.

It's like it literally was the most horrific thing I've ever stumbled upon. And it's literally just like fucking they're all boomers. They're all like do you remember that silhouette challenge where like people would get naked in the doorframe and it was just like all really fucking old people. Like I'm literally read like that like was fucked up, but like yeah, it's literally.

Those same like humans are so funny because how are you that horny that like you're like.

Like laying meat on a fucking like it's so insane. A silhouette of your like dong hanging between your legs, Like it's crazy, that's really gross.

Yeah, well.

You don't have any Drew Sype. Actually I have a side.

I do have a bunch. Actually I completely forgot about that.

Fuck wait, I have one for you.

There's this thing called Ghost Kids and their Industry Plant Gorillas, and it's the craziest shit I've ever seen in my entire life. Yeah, there's like Industry Plant Gorillas now, like the band the Gorillas, And they posted a flyer of Rolling Loud and was like, oh, we're like gonna be playing Rolling Aloud, and everyone was like, who the fuck are you know you're not? Why are you lying? And everybody thought it was like this Drew Sye op corn when the face id fucking up and I got a.

Lock in, Like our phones really make us serve to it to like like sometimes it just fuck. He has to be like.

Like you gotta lock in, you gotta lock in. But yeah, the you know you're the Gorillas, uh, industry plant they said they were performing Rolling Loud, and even Rolling Loud was like, no, the fuck you're not, and everybody thought it was like.

This big like.

Uh like publicity stunt. Well, they literally did play Rolling Loud and they opened for Little Uzzy and like it's the craziest shit I've ever seen, and it is the most obvious industry plant I have ever seen in my

It's because we bought them.

Yeah, we do bought our videos.

Radios.

Okay, I'm gonna get my charger media.

Welcome to Drew Shy on corner.

The zag got me thinking about tragedies that haven't even happened yet. March third, twenty twenty four. Damn, damn that was then, when that that was right before my birthday. Something bad is gonna happen. Okay, this one's good. Imagine giving me head and I yell out boring, don't come to my house. Uh, don't come to my house pouring big cups of juice. Washed up bitches. Love Throwback Thursday.

All right, Well, I'm gonna start media. I don't have any movies or anything. Somebody was like, oh my god, it's taking you so long to watch the fucking Sopranos because of the thing I posted. But that's a draft from like may uh that I made. But it is taking me forever. I only have, like, I only have twenty episodes left to watch, which is literally a full day worth.

I heard y'all talking about it last night. They had like twenty one, and I also heard you talk shit about me briefly. You thought I was asleep and you were walking to the bathroom and you said something to someone, So you said my name?

What did I say?

I don't know, but I heard you and it woke me up immediately because I was like, oh wow, someone's talking about me. But you said it angriedly. I think you were talking to Josh, and I was like, oh wow, this is crazy.

I don't remember talking.

Everyone talked about me behind my back, and I.

Talked shit right to your fucking face because I'm not fucking scared of you. How about that, oh Spring by Angel Olsen.

Right, I'm going to need your phone too to go to the emergency in our comp playlist because my phone's dead.

Glad Tidings by Van Morrison Drew Whimper challenge that only I have? Oh and honestly those are my only medias that I could give you today. Like, how about that? I don't really have much to give you if you've taken everything from me.

That's my media challenge.

I just got so tired.

I actually I don't think I have any media.

I don't think anybody cares about media. So how about that?

I know literally no one cares. International by Outcast in.

UGK Close to You the cranberrys cover. I was listening to that again because it's.

So good Flimm by APHX twin Girl. There you fucking go Oh. I'm rewatching Death Note again for like the eighteenth time, and every time I watch it, it's so fucking good. Bruh, Like it is so good, all the twist and turns in the first two episodes, I'm like gagged every time, even even though I've seen it like one hundred times. I'm gagged every fucking time. And those goddamn apples, like I want to eat those fucking apples. So bad, so so, so so bad.

Oh. My last actually media song is Sprung by Tea Pain, which I think I said last week, and then I heard it in a store yesterday and I haven't heard that in public since two thousand and nine.

I don't think I've ever heard that song in public.

Really, it was such a popular song.

Yeah. Well, but also like the public I went to was Great and Berry and there were like eight stores total, and all of them were like.

Grocery stores and they were playing a CD.

Yeah exactly.

All right, Well, thank you guys so much for listening.

I just want to apologize that I wasn't myself today. I'm going through a lot right now.

He's lying. He's like not going through anything, so he just wanted to I don't tell you everything I got.

Y'all don't know. Like that's the thing is, I keep a lot of things in into myself.

Hey, you should be that. You should be open with me.

Well, no, like men aren't.

I'm going through like men stuff too.

Men aren't. One, aren't allowed to cry too, don't cry. Men shouldn't go to therapy, yes, because like their p is for bitches and women like the.

Yeah, wow, okay, that's a good way to lead the episode. All right, thank you guys for watching

Sh