Drew Is Cheating On Enya

Yeah, one last that alf bar, you fattered bit.

See the thing about these fucking elf bars is they're as sweet as candy. So it's crazy because, like, I can eliminate candy from my diet now because of the amount of glucose that they use in this it basically coats my mouth in sugar, so it simulates me eating gummies.

But you're sweetest candy, so I don't have to.

Welcome to this episode of emergency. We go back to emergency intercom.

You're sweetest candy, so I don't have to eat any sweets anymore.

Now, what if I slapped the shit out of you? No, what if I did that? You're I got a text message in a response, Oh yeah.

Just immediately like off the bat using your phone because you're a fucking screen ager. Screenager, you can't be called the screen ager once you turn twenty five, which is very.

Soon though, Oh my god, that is not true at all.

Should we talk about how last night I cried watching a video Kylie and Chris Joe.

Oh yeah, yeah, So we were watching Chris and Kylie cooking pasta, which was like, I need to hang out with them. I really need to like just be a fly on the wall. I need to be Frederick and like buzzing around and just like her house. Why that's like a reference in.

The video if you get it.

But yeah, they just look like they have a good time, like they have fun. And halfway through the video actually near the end of the video clarify, I was like high.

Fuck, Like, yeah, I've been back on like my getting high because since we've come back from Japan, I've realized we don't do anything, and I was like, oh my god, I need to do something.

So I feel like, well.

Like twenty something year old who's like doing something. So I've been getting high as bon I've been.

In self destruct mode as well. I've been eating snacks, will insert a photo, pizza, whatever I can get my grubby little fucking hands on. At three am, I will sit in my bed and eat it. And I didn't become self aware to it until last night or yesterday

Crazy it is insane.

Like I think I'm somebody who can like really like chowd down on snacks, but compared to Drew, it's literally like it is incomparable, Like it is insane.

This motherfucker could go in but it's literally because you don't eat other meals.

Like it's okay, like now you do, but like for the most part, like when your body is like, oh, I like need food, if that's what's in front of you, you'll literally just grab all of it and go to your room. And I go to the room and I'm like, can I get something?

And it's like I hate your hand. Yeah, yeah exactly, it's completely empty.

No.

The thing the problem is is I eat two meals a day while I'm awake and then I sleep. But I've been staying up till four am, and now my body craves a third meal because we're so bored and we need the energy to stay up that late. So and we don't have really any food in the house, so my third meal becomes chips and sweets.

We're just not at the at the point in adulthood, which I think, like it's like the joke, like all like gen Z knows how to do is like eat hot cheetos and lie.

Like that, Like we have to talk about the reality. We have to talk about how like real.

That is, like charge your phone, be bisexual, eat hot chips and lie.

Yeah, it's that's so real because like that was the prophecy. Specifically, I'm like eat hot cheetos because like that's literally just referencing the fact that, like I don't know anyone my age and maybe it's because the field we're in, but I actually even older than me, I don't know many people who like.

Are constantly making meals at home.

Like I just don't know any bud who does that do And like there was a brief moment in time.

Where like that was kind of my vibe and that's what I was really.

Into covid Era.

But then I was like, oh my god, there's like life to live in McDonald's.

Yeah, Like ordering McDonald's is so much easier than cookies.

Although ordering McDonald's is literally so expensive, Like that's another thing that I've been thinking about, like it's insane, like I'm.

Thinking about that.

Actually I ordered food for me and Josh and it was thirty seven dollars.

That is crazy. That's that's sinking. That is rented.

I'm just like awesome, and I leave a good tip.

Would have been fifteen bucks, yeah, would have been. But anyways, we got way off topic. But sob at this video of Kylie Jenner and Chris is it.

I wish I was like like still high because it was like the funniest like it genuinely was because I'm just at the point where like I am kind of testing like my highness now, Like I don't know if you realize, Like when we got home from the gym. Usually I will and then get high because I'm like no, I'm like there has to be stuff in my stomach.

But this time I was like, you know what, I'm saying no to a weed brand new and like literally, but.

It's different because I'm like talking about my own volition.

I'm not I'm not like selling I'm not selling you the sea.

But i mean, like, whatever you do, you.

But don't smoke weed unless you're twenty five, yeah, or else you'll be like brand chemistry. I've been saying it, don't do drugs until you're twenty five.

Oh, I just fucking I have never like twisted my own wrists so crazy, and I just twisted the funk out of it. But my whole thing recently is like I like want to get so high that I'm like scared and I just have to go to sleep.

Like that's kind of like where I've been pushing.

Myself because like I think when I was younger and I would get too high, I would freak the funk out because I'm like.

Where where am I going to go?

But now, especially because we've lived here so long, I'm like I'm home, Like it's not like I need to go see my parents and freaking out like no one's real. It's literally like, bitch, I'm going to my bed Like it's like that simple. So like I got home from the gym, and I immediately like had an edible because I was like, I just want to see what happens if I eat after And I felt fine.

Like I was having the time of my life. But then.

Kylie Jenner looks directly into the lens of the camera and spreads parmesan cheese propaganda.

It was ep parmesan propaganda.

It was a psychological operation if I've ever seen one.

Did you know that parmesan is delicious and nutritious?

Thirty grams contains up to fifty of.

Your daily calcium intake.

That is crazy. This is my theory. I will play the clip right now, but my theory is that all of the parmesan cheese companies, like Big Parma, Oh my god, that was such a fucking bar. That was a big Parma, all about together.

Take it like how you move your hands, thinking about like the person who was you, all of me?

It was like literally like the Big Parma, they all got together raised. I'm saying five to fifteen million dollars to give to Kylie Jenner to spread this parmesan cheese propaganda, to put it into our brains that parmesan cheese is good and that's the thing is like it's very real, Like you can't tell me that wasn't a psychological.

The thing is like obviously as we're saying this, Kylie.

We love you.

Oh yeah, you're the girl, like we still want to like we're like joking, but like I think what it was is like we were talking about it and like it definitely was like either fed to her or she said it and they didn't get a good shot of it, so they were like, oh, say that again, because we didn't have your face and.

Care she was trying to be funny. We can't get Like I really like.

We can't decipher it, but like I'll just play Like actually, we'll just have it play over right now.

Oh we already had it play.

Oh yeah, well we'll have it play again two more times because now we're being paid.

Yeah exactly, but yeah that was like first time. Dude.

I literally started crying, like I wish I.

Took a picture of you. I was like, oh my god.

We are literally like you know what's happening.

It's like we've gone too far from dairy and like big dairy brands are like no, we're done, No more oat milk, no more fake parmesan, like, no more nothing, no.

More milk in general. Stop drinking milk, stop drinking oat milk, all of it. It's over. We're past milk in general exactly. Just have water with your cereal normal.

The like gum in oat milk propaganda that was going around that was like the gums and I literally fell for it.

Was like I don't even know what the fuck that means. And I was like, oh my god, I'm consuming gum. I'm literally I'm drinking oil.

You can't say that because I literally is like, dude, you know when you swallow them and it gets stuck in your fucking mugs.

The craziest thing about me is that I'll sit here and be like, stop drinking milk, stop eating fillers and microplastics. When I sit and bet at three a m like this, it's bad. It's not okay. I'm a hypocrite. We all do what we want and that's okay. Like you do, you give your body.

What your body craves, and sometimes your body craves fillers and microplastics, and that's okay because that wasn't up to us for our bodies to want that.

We were given that. And now it's you know what, microplastics are a bit yummy. We could admit that.

They taste good, and like we've all seen the picture of the McCormick microplastic season and going around, and I want that. I'm not gonna lie. I want oils and micro spirro like that's what I want to look like. I want like a big belly, like I want like I want like a belly. I'll start drinking beer, I know I need to.

Literally, like our relationship has gotten to the point where it's like, don't make me drink alone. Like that's literally how I feel when I drink around you, like, don't make me drink alone.

And I'm like, babes, it will become like a really really narty problem like if I don't handle it now. So it's just like.

I remember in Japan when you got mad at us because like, okay, also at this point, we know Drew doesn't drink, like we don't even.

Like really like, ok yeah, you'll be the judge. You'll be the judge.

We don't step into this.

But me and Josie and a bunch of our friends were at dinner in Japan, and like I was, I didn't like I don't know. I was just drinking like every fucking night there because like that it just felt right.

Drinking every night for two weeks straight. Should never feel right, psycho.

Okay, So when I say drinking every night, like, I don't mean like I'm like getting fucked up, Like I'm just like having a drink or to at dinner every night, which is.

Whatever, whatever, whatever.

But Josie had come into the restaurant, I was sitting at a different table. And also the thing was a lot of the drinks that I was getting were really watered down, So I genuinely wasn't getting even buzzed every night, Like it was rare that I was at a restaurant. I was like, oh my god, this like actually has fucking alcohol in it. I'm going to get drunk right now. But that was a restaurant where like the alcohol was being served Like it wasn't like a diluted drink.

They were serving me alcohol.

So I had a drink, and that was like, Josie, get one.

Okay, Yeah, that is what we're talking about.

Like the thing is I saw your brain like trying to figure out what's in trouble with computing. Computing, but whatever, I had Josie have one, me and Josie had two, and then like off two.

We were just like feeling ourselves to like an insane level.

Yeah, or actually I think I got three deep, like I got three yet, in which you've heard me say before. Two three is like my like my drink of my limit, not my limit, but like that's just where I like to go at this point. But whatever, we were just like having a fucking blast and we were literally in.

Like a goofy little silly mood.

And then we like got out of the restaurant and Josie like was wearing the craziest fit ever and grabbed my hand and was like there was a seven eleven like next door, like down the block, and he was like, let's go get these little peach drinks which will insert a photo of if you see this to get it there.

So good, but they're.

Really low in alcohol. It's mainly a fucking soda, but it's literally it.

Takes really good. Yeah, you can't taste the alcohol. It's actually really dangerous.

It's what LaCour should taste like, like it's white claw. Yeah, oh white claws beat by that. Oh my god, I'm talking so much about substance this episode, like this is like yeah, whatever, but the.

Fucking Josie grabs me and we like run down in it.

Actually, I will say it was a moment where I was like, this is so sweet, and on my deathbed, I'll think of this moment of like Josie grabbing me and us running.

For me, not for me, because I was left out of the cute moment. I was standing there, I was with y'all, and y'all grabbed each other and ran away from me, and I was left alone and it was so hurtful. I was like, wow, these are like my two best friends literally in the entire world, Like I would kill for them, and they just grabbed each other and ran And in that moment, I was like, wow, damn, I really don't mean shit to anybody. Like I am

Somebody who we know doesn't want to partake in alcohol anymore. So we don't like really like think to like grab dor and be like, let's go run to seven eleven and buy alcohol.

You know, I love snacks and gummies and they.

Do have Okay, how many times did I get you a snack or gummy on my way home?

You did get me gummies?

I got yeah, I was.

I was filling your belly and I was getting you little knickknacks and treats.

Along the way.

It was really sweet. And then I got you a knickknack.

I stole a knickknack from you.

The PSP, oh, no, I forgot I got you that. But the Michael Jackson CD, oh yeah you did?

You did? I haven't, yeah, because I was gonna go play it in the morning the other day when I was still waking up at six am, and I was like, I cannot blast off the wall right now at six am.

But yeah, I did steal a PSP from Drew.

That wasn't like he thought he was going to get himself two PSPs on his collector's shit. But I literally in a Starbucks just took it and he was like, I was like, I'll pay you back for it.

And then like I was like, I know, you fucking not, and I was like, yeah, I know. I'm literally not gonna pay me back for that, which is okay. And then I'm sitting here modding the fuck out of it even though you run away from me.

It's just interesting you're doing the man's job in the relationship. Yeah, you're doing the work. You're sitting at the computer and.

You're doing the work instead of going to war. I'm modding PSPs like my PSP, so I kind of ate escape for free, Like that's an interesting dynamic.

Also, before we, like I feel like we're already pretty deep into the episode. I just didn't know how to transition into this. But I do want to bring up, like the comments about what I said in the last episode. I think I just repeated myself like twice, but whatever, I do want to make.

Comment on it. Like I did see that clip.

I did see everybody's like take on it, and I do fully understand and it is a point of like

Do a better job at speaking on those things.

And I do I am happy for the fact that, like you guys are very open.

To like holding us accountable. And I don't know, like I did.

I mean, I was like staring at my phone and like watching the way it was being spoken about, And I do think I could take a lot from it, because as much as I think the both of us do feel like we're constantly growing and trying to like evolve, it was a good moment to kind of like step back and be like, Okay, yeah, there's still things we have to work on, but yeah, I didn't want that to go like under I didn't want to like push under the rug because I don't want anybody to think

No, I was just gonna read this idea that came into my head a couple of days ago, and it's still becoming truer and truer to this day. Like the more I go on the.

Internet, I say, like, I don't know what you're gonna.

Say, but it's actually crazy how every like exposing cheater video is in the car? Literally, why is every exposing cheater video in the car? Like it makes no sense, like look up exposing cheater compilation, and it's always in the car, And it's always the boyfriend sitting in the passenger seat for some reason because the man should be driving. But that's another question, Like that's another topic, but like why is it always in the car Because Americans are

Into thinking that we need cars when we need more public transportation.

Yeah, cars have come commodified Big Karma. You know.

Okay, that one wasn't as good as Big Parma. Big Parma was really good.

Really, that is gonna be on my gravestone because that may be one of the wittiest things I've ever said in my life. And the craziest thing about it is it just came to me in my brain just sitting here.

But Big Karma is really fucking bad, and it was like a tailor. So well, no, we'll put like Big Pharma and then.

Like, but let's not lest we forget Big Karma.

Forget Big Karma.

I feel like, I guess I can't think.

Of many like cheating videos other than once sitting in a car, so you might be onto something.

No, I definitely am. Why did you think that because you saw a video of somebody exactly well, I saw someone like making fun of it, and I was like, why did they do that in the car, because like, my first thought would to be like opening the front door and throwing water on them or some shit. I don't fucking know how relationships to get out of the car. If someone cheated on me, I would literally be like, okay, like now what, Like I don't like I don't know what we're supposed to do here.

No, literally I would like I'm hurt.

I guess that.

We were talking about this because I was like I was.

Talking about arguments I've had with partners with Drew, and I was like, I don't think I've said I I don't think I've said anything super crazy or done anything super crazy in my relationships, like as crazy as I feel in my head, Like I don't do like crazy things. So like I'm not like I'm never getting into an argument where like I'm fucking yelling, Like I don't yell.

I think that's like really embarrassing.

Although like I understand in the heat of the moment to like yell because you're like upset.

I used to be a yeller and then I met you and I was like, damn, yelling is like embarrassing.

Yeah right, Like it's like, oh, like I literally raised my voice, but I will get very stern with my tone. So I guess maybe like in some like I have been told to like calm down. Yeah, but like I don't like yell, Like I just like get really like like I can answer myself up really easily.

Like as we've all seen, I can.

Really put some scenarios into my head that like will make me upset or like whatever, and like I just haven't yelled whatever. But we were talking about this because I was like, isn't it so okay? Who's texting you? Let me see your phone? Who's texting you?

I'm not giving you my phone. I'm not gonna give you my fucking phone.

Well, now you're like being like I was joking about you giving me my phone, like you give me giving me the phone?

Like, I, now, what.

Are you doing? Fine, I'm cheating on you. I'm cheating on you.

Okay, funny d let me see your phone.

Like you, I'm not going to give you my phone because I just told you I'm cheating on you. You're not allowed to see my phone. I'm a cheater. I'm a cheating bastard. I'm cheating on you. I don't care you're not seeing my phone. Get my phone and.

We're gonna like clip that because I really don't.

I'm not giving it to you, So give me your fucking phone. No, let's move on. How about that, Oh my god, you are cheating on Oh yeah, look I'm cheating on you.

We did that in public the other day, and like we do that kind of shit as if anybody gives a fuck, Like there's.

People give a fuck.

Yeah, people definitely like two seconds.

They're like wait, But we were doing that the other day and Drew was like acting like he was cheating on me with my sister, and I was like, that's not funny. Give me your phone, and then like I like got angry and walked away, and I was like, I'm gonna go use the bathroom, and like as I was walking away, he was like, I literally told you.

I was cheating on you.

Why are you being such a bit? You're like, like, what's the problem.

But it is crazy that you've never been into an altercation in a relationship. And that's kind of why I was getting to.

Because like if you have been in a relationship, it's so funny, how intense and like like.

Just it's just so crazy the arguments you will get into and the conversations you have to have being in a relationship, and then you just like move on, like you have like an intense argument or relationship where you cry or whatever, and then it's like, well.

We're not going to break up over this, what's the point all?

Yeah, it's just like okay, keep it pushes.

See That's my thing, is why I would only want to see my partner once a week, because like there's no room to fight at all.

If I think seeing your partner only once a week would open up the Florida fighting.

Not for me. I'm so laid back and chill, like I let so much shit side where I'm just like I could be angry about this, but like bringing this up in conversation isn't going to change anything because people don't change. Oh my god, people don't change.

It's the fact, well, Drew, they do, and your relationship, you will see your partner grow and change and morph into many different people youre was like.

Literally the first argument I get into, I'm just gonna break up with them, Like I'm not hearing that.

You're like okay, like we're fighting, Like I'm done, Like I'm not putting up with this shit, Like don't do this to me. I literally care. I was so chill, we were so chill. Why did you have to fight with me?

I'm so excited for Drew's first relationship, so I can at the moment where like damn, damn, my friend is my friend is the crazy one?

Is crazy? No, I'm lit like that's the thing about me at the end.

Of the literally me, I'm like, I let so much shit slide and then I'm a marror like.

This, what what's going on here?

What is it? What's going on? What's going on? It's like that one. It's like a TikTok tick, like what's going on?

I don't know, I know crazy, I.

Know that House of Commons. I hate that one. Is that a TikTok? I mean a Harry Potter reference? Because I cannot okay, wait, so I'll just I'll bring it up. So the craziest thing ever, actually, I think Elon buying Twitter is the greatest thing to happen to the Internet ever. Just wait. I know it sounds crazy because he's killing it. And the reason why that's great is because Tumblr will

Like it was the genesis of you realizing that you were straight and you didn't.

Have exact exactly exactly exactly exactly that's seriously like one hundred percent. But yesterday I started bringing this up to India and she was like, no, just save that for the podcast, because like this is like me airing my shit out in a crazy way and it is like really embarrassing. So I had like three Tumblr blocks. I literally do not remember what they are at all. I had like a goofy ass one I never posted shit, Yeah,

Which is insane.

I'm like, well, like I was just liking things like and having my likes hidden.

See, No I didn't. That's the thing is I had on my main blog. People knew what that one was, and I had my likes open on that because I would reblog shit and I would like shit, and I like to categorize, like, oh, this one can live on the feed. This one has to like be hidden, you have to find it. And one day I guess I forgot to switch accounts and I never liked like p word posts, and for some reason I liked this one.

Well I think I used to literally like reblog, but it was like soft core shit like it.

Was because I'm so big. That was but that was so big on Tumblr, like that like soft.

Like sorry, I'm so sore from like working out and getting like big.

Yeah, that's what happens when you work out for the first.

Time in like months. Oh no, not me, not me, but yeah.

That was just such a big thing.

I remember when they announced that they were taking the P word off we're me saying the P word now, like this video isn't demonetize like from the beginning.

But I remember when they took that off. I was like, it's done. It's a wrap.

It was like Vine and Tumblr like everything else.

Like it's done.

It's done, Like my life is over. And guess what, you may be shocked that your life continues.

Yeah, because life keeps going, like it really does. Like that's the craziest thing about life is that it just keeps going.

And it will come back with P word.

Yes, yes, yes, yes he has. Well God has smile on me.

Well since he has, since we're just only we're talking about the P word. I just have to say this because like when I was told this, I literally died laughing.

And I actually don't think it's that funny.

But I was inquiring about the S word and I was like asking questions about me in the S word, and I was told I give.

Head like I'm on a mission.

Like like I was like, oh, do you feel like I'm a really like loving partner and then they were like yeah, but like you definitely like you definitely, Like it was like.

This isn't a complaint that it was like a compliment, like but it's like fix you.

Like it's like you're definitely not doing certain things for the other person, like you're like on a mission to get it's.

For you and you only.

It's like it's crazy being told I on a mission.

Well I'm coming back with that gold medal. Yeah, and I always do that's the goal. For some reason, my mood has completely shifted in a bad.

Way right now.

Yeah, I've been so unstable, like not after.

That, just just after you hear about me like.

Doing s and it's not to me. It's like, what the fuck is fucking problem? You w word censoring or some you w s oh oh interesting. I thought it was horse sex. But my mood has been so unstable recently. It's like, how the fuck was I in Japan? And I was still slipping into a depression like that is it's actually crazy. And I was like exercising every day. We also did the math on the twenty k step

Because I I was like, oh, I felt really good. In Japan from walking that much, like it feels good that I was able to do that. And I was like, I'm just gonna like start going to the gym because you don't walk in LA And I was like, I'm just gonna go to the gym and like keep walking.

Like i'd say we walked seven miles a day.

Yeah, to like reference it, yeah, And I looked it up and saw that, like we were walking an average of like seven to ten miles a day. And I was like, bitch, in what world am I going to be in the gym long enough to even fucking do that? Which I was yesterday by accident because I went to early for a class. So I was just fucking picking my ass and the damn gym like I didn't have anywhere else to go.

I was like dying, and I was like I need to go food, like I cannot work out, Like I can't like work out on this stomach, Like if I don't eat now, I will collapse and die and turn it into powder. Like I need to eat. So I went and got food. Why the fuck am I saying this right now.

Because you're just letting them know what you were up to. But you're talking about food reminded me that I was watching Devin's flog and something else that greened me out.

I wasn't high, but like it genuinely freaked me out for some reason.

Because I also think, like since we got back from Japan, because I was so overstimulated visually, I keep having moments. But this also might be like what like being a glasses wearer is like you don't have this anymore, but since you got lasik, But did you ever feel when you had glasses?

Like sometimes things would be so clear, like do you know what I'm saying?

Like you know when you had glasses and like without you realizing it, just from your day to day activities, they kind of oiled up and fogged up, and then when you cleaned them, you were like, oh my god, I'm seeing so clearly right now.

That I feel like i'm seeing HD.

Yeah, I've been having that a lot since we got back from Japan, and like it's pushing me into like a dissociative like mood because I'll just be like walking around and then I'll like look at something like when we were at Jonathan's concert, I was looking at my shoe and I was like dude, like it is like so HD and like real and like there's like like renders that look this real. And I was freaking the

Recently?

Like what like the fact that you can pick up an apple and just fucking bite into it and like there's no preparation needed to go into that like and it's like you have to go buy it, open and reach it like that.

You literally like there's no packaging on it.

You literally just bite it like it was made with like a god given like package to be eaten.

To protect it. And then you can also eat the packaging. Yeah, it's interesting. And then at the Whole Foods you see them cutting up apples and then putting it into putting it into plastic, which is insane. Same with oranges. They'll peel the orange for you and then put the slices of oranges in a plastic.

Bag, which is crazy because the best part about eating an orange is like playing with the.

People exactly and then spraying it and like, honestly, this is something crazy I do. But I get an orange peel and after I eat it, I rub it on my neck so I can smell.

That's awesome. I like peeling it and then it gets stuck under my nails and I'm like straight a little bit.

Yeah, I mean, because I.

Buy my nails. It's like citric. But yeah, that was That's just where I've been the past week and a half.

That's crazy.

Like I parked and I looked at I parked and I looked out my window and it freaked me out because I was like, dude, like it is crazy how real everything looks right now.

And I was like that is so it's just.

You, like your brain finally setting you're making those connections because we're forming our final stage brains.

Yeah. Or I'm just like literally going, you're losing it. I think I'm just kind of losing it. But that's okay.

That's why I'm like in a position where I'm like I just need to get so high that I'm like scared, and then I'm like back to being like caveman brain.

I'm black and nothing matters. I don't care.

Yeah, or you just don't think about everything. But if you think about everything, everywhere, everything becomes magical and and everything. The further you stray, oh my religious heart is like coming really really soon, because the further you stray from God and the closer you get to science, the more you realize that or the deep for into science you get, the more you realize that everything is unexplainable and you can't explain it truly, so that.

It's something that freaks me out.

Like I am a believer in science, but what freaks me out is you literally like there is no.

Like certain like conclusions with like.

A lot of science theory.

Yeah, and that's like really what scares me. But that's also why it is, like this is me making excuses.

In high school.

But I was like, yeah, I don't fuck with science because like I just like believe in like keeping things like.

Unknown, which is making me supporter, just.

Me being like I don't want to read I simply don't want to read that book, Like I'm not going to read that book. But yeah, I think I think I've always been kind of religious, like I've always kept it on like an agnostic tipe of like I'm like, there definitely is something out there, but I always like

It's just like a lot I'm like therapy, there's just.

There's just too much to catch up on right now.

And I'm like there's too much such and there's nothing to catch up. One of the reasons why I can't go to therapy now is because like I'm too far gone, Like there's too much shit going on in my life for me to have to explain to them my entire life and then opening that back up is just like too much.

But you know what's nice about it is like you kind of realize that those things, not that those things don't matter. But once you get into therapy session, that's when like the things that are actually bothering you become like very clear. Because I feel like in a day to day you may like pinpoint certain feelings to these like super huge things that or that feel really big to you. But then once you sit in that room and you start talking, it's like, oh that other thing

Yeah, that is like the ultimate vibe. How can you be depressed when you have Zaza and an iPhone, Like I really don't.

Get it, like literally, like it's it's a cure I phone Like Apple, Wait, Apple cured depression.

Yeah, Apple brought us depression to our face.

But what were you saying?

I don't remember it was it was there?

Oh, say one thing you remember from what you were saying, and I will remember.

Oh, I was just talking about going to therapy and like how previous, ma'am.

You're asking a lot of me right now, remember three minutes.

Oh. But something I did just think about is I.

I want it. I want that conversation to be finished so bad because we never finished anything, and we were so close to finishing it. Really think your hardest, like to what you were thinking about, hold on, I really need this for me, Like I really needed that we were talking about. Oh, like nothing is feeling real for you, so you.

Oh, and I'm saying what I need to do is like I've been watching Midnight Gospel because when I was feeling like this, it like grounded me. And like I've been I listened to like a lot of like Duncan Trossel because he has really good like psychologists. Yeah, because he has a lot of good like psychologists and like religious figures and just like just all these people who have like really good insight and wisdom, who have like really studied like the idea of like the.

Self and self awareness.

Yeah, and it's not.

Like this like really like like outward. It's not like a challenge of like, oh, how to make sure you're perceived this way as much as it is like how can you find the things in life that make you feel comfortable, make you feel whole, make you feel.

Grounded, et cetera.

But I've been I was like watching that while I was walking on the in the gym, like I was like watching a few episodes. I was like, dude, this is such a good fucking show and like I'm in love with Duncan Trustle?

And then like, oh, duncan Trustle as bad as fuck.

I know, I need like an edit, like you know, the what's it called, like the like the like the really.

Cap cut like fast.

It's like someone needs to make one of like duncan Trustle?

Please make that it make that dream come true? Please?

You saying it like tapping your chim But yeah, I was saying what I need to do is go to therapy. But I probably won't do that for like another two weeks because also I'm just busy with.

Holidays, so that's out of the question.

But I need to stop referencing being flashbanged and casual conversations with strangers as if that makes sense.

People don't get it because there's so much shit that I say to my trainer, who, if you're watching this, I'm sorry, like, but you have Like there are people who literally have no sense of humor and don't understand anything I'm ever saying because ninety eight percent end of the time, whatever's coming out of my mouth is not real and it's not what I mean. It is a complete, utter,

H, don't do that.

But yeah, when I was like at that meeting, I like was talking about something and I was like, doesn't it feel like you're getting like fucking flashbangs like in your head, just like like a dead silent And I was.

Like, damn, but like they know what we're right, you know what.

It's like, it's like a buzzing in your ear.

But yeah, I have to stop referencing that as if people understand what the fuck that means. It's like that is like such an odd thing to also like a weird thing to reference.

But I feel like I've always been like a little bit spiritual, a little bit agnostic.

Yeah, I used to.

I used to like I like grew up in the church like crazy, not like crazy, but I like grew up in the church. And then like when my parents stopped going to the church, I still went and I would go every Sunday and every Wednesday when I was like a teenager to get confirmed. And I was doing that on my own volition. And then one day the pastor said something like really really fucking homophobic, and it scared the shit out of me, and I was like, I can't come back here. And Madeline was also like that.

Literally me and tenth grade.

Yeah, literally and then I but we still got confirmed in the church. But literally, like the day I heard the pastors say that, shit, something clicked in my brain where I was like, oh, like this is crazy, like organized religion is insane and like not like I mean my based on my experience, it was like crazy for me, and it felt really insane. And so I've just taken like this like faithful approach where I'm like I don't claim any like a religion or like yeah, I just

Yeah, it's crazy to think that this generation is like really full of the idea of like actually taking a step back and like looking at religion and like the harm it's not. I mean, like, oh, there's some things I like about this, but a lot of.

It is correct a little crazy, but.

Yeah, I'm tapping back in to midnight Gospel and like just listening to.

A cart toole old people read some cart toll books. I think that's how you say his name. I don't know Alan Watts, Alan wattson at cart hole. I think I gotta find that out. But those are like really really great, like kind of like morality, Like it's like Eastern philosophy but like translated, especially like Alan Watts is like Eastern philosophy and ideals translated really well for our Western brains to understand. And it's just really cool. But a kurttole is just crazy. Yeah.

Do you want to end it off with our fall debate?

What is that?

Oh?

Last night on the couch?

Did you do your research?

I didn't. I didn't because I saw how angry you got. You were like, no, just take it.

No.

I wasn't angry, but I was like, dude, no, you have to save it because like what if?

Like what if?

So I'll let it start by like you telling me what you told me?

Okay, literally randomly. It was one of my uber facts moments. I will admit it. Like I was just like, I just it popped in my brain and I just said it. But I was like the reason why the rest of the world calls fall autumn and we call it fall is because the leaves in America fall, and I said.

That can't be true. That just like can't be true because I'm.

Like, well, no, the leaves are literally falling.

No, I know the leaves fall here, but my theory is that, like someone was just like, all the leaves are falling, it's fall time whatever, Like I assume, like that's how it became a thing here.

But leaves fall in Japan. The leaves were like I never said they didn't fall.

You did you?

You were saying that, oh, you bitch, fucking god.

Like I first, I was.

Like, dude, and I was like, let me not alter the reality. And leaves don't fall anywhere else.

We were literally just in a different country where they did.

They caught me slipping, and I just I was in too deep and I tried to just get a fast one by you, and I knew that wasn't true because I literally had the same thought. I was like, the leaves were on the ground in Japan, Like what am I talking about?

Have way too many pictures of them on the ground.

Because I had to end because I was like, I'm so fucking stupid and and I just can't I cannot handle the humiliation.

And he got mad at me last night.

Year I didn't get madre. I was like, I was like, I'm gonna. I was like, I'm gonna look this up right now.

And then but I was like, don't look it up, because like I knew that it wasn't true, because he was about to look up if leaves fall in different country.

No, I was looking up why it's called Okay, so why is it called fall?

He's such a bitch.

My child fucking sucks. Okay. The reason why Americans were to autumn as fall?

What's your source?

Mental loss? Fall isn't a modern nickname that fall in more traditional autumn. The two terms actually first recorded within a few hundred years of each other. The fifteen hundred's English speakers began referring to seasons separating the cold and the warm months as either the fall of the leaf or spring of the leaf, or fall or in spring for short. Well, it could also be called fall because the temperatures are falling. But that's like another that's like only pertains to America.

So yeah, it literally is just like people were like, oh, the leaves are falling, its fall?

Oh yeah, exactly. Autonomous had overtaken fall as the standard British term for the third.

I wonder if, like, what's the translation to Spanish, because it can't be like fall, like falling over.

Oh, it is a different.

Look up autumn. I don't like the way she is that autumn. No, that's fall at the bottom. I'm curious if it's the same thing, me not knowing how to spell autumn.

Oh, it's the same thing. So it's like in Spanish, it's like interchangeable.

The air gets Chris, the leaves start to turn, and we break out our cozy sweaters. Are of course talking about the season of pumpkin, spice and everything nice. It's by two names, fall and an, although both refer to the same season. Americans call it fall. Why is that there's some confusing because Americans are fucking stupid and we just make up whatever you want. We literally just say

Happens, and that's how the term fall came to.

Yeah.

Wow, nice little history.

Lesson To close up the episode, thank you for attempting to gaslight me. You're welcome, and you should say that's what I's gonna say it teaches me to stay ground and like and confident in my work.

Keeping you on your toes, like you should be able to like be able to figure out when people are gas lighting you.

Yeah, it's on me for sure.

Oh no, oh is that happening. It's happening right now, liah as you're recording. I want to do it mine.

Is it happening?

Oh you must not be you know what.

I got a notification for it the other like two weeks ago, and I literally knocked it off so fast. So I wonder if it's not giving it to me because of how fast I was, Like, get that fuck out of my face.

Okay, let's listen to my rap rapped right now. Remember your top genres from last Oh wait, this is from twenty twenty one. Oh never mind, that's so fucking lame. I was so excited. Damn, damn, damn.

Spotify Wrapped is basically a tool that gives us to see the full information about our most loved artists.

Bands and saw, what the hell is that the playlist we've enjoyed?

I looked up Rapped and it's like when Spotify wrapped twenty twenty two, come out questions.

Well, this is my favorite song right now?

What is this.

Fart on my penis?

Wait?

Yeah, what I think they're gearing us up to give us the Spotify wrapped. I think it's just showing us, like the playlist. Yeah, it's happening.

I want it to happen now.

I know, because how would that have been to be able to go through it?

But I guess we have that for New Year. Both those different.

That's media. Quite honestly, I have not been listening to music that much lately, Like I haven't like been finding anything, but I will go get something. A couple things that I bought that I'll show to you guys that will be in my media, even though it's physical media. It doesn't fuck it matter.

I'll just say my media.

Because I also bought some CDs, but that's kind of mainly. What I've been listening to is Black Metal Too by Dean Blunt, Loveless by my Bloody Valentine, Like I've been listening to that on CD because I just got that. I've been listening to Love Deluxe by shaw Day because that's a CD I've already had. But those are just like the CDs i've been listening to and then Slow Dive.

I can't remember which.

Album it was.

He's like, I'm my boyfriend because I don't know the title of Just for a Day that album. So those I've been like mainly listening to albums and not so much like songs right now. But there was something I was listening to this morning. Oh, and I'm back to looping love Never Felt So Good by Michael Jackson, because it just, ironically enough makes me feel so good. And I've been reading.

I'm Glad my Mom died.

Oh, I Spotify tricked me again. They always fucking tricked me. But they're like, find your new favorite book, and it was like, oh, I can listen to audio books on Spotify. Now, that's actually fucking lit. But then you have to buy the books and then you can download them to fucking Spotify or some shit. Because I was gonna start listening to that yesterday. But okay, I got a couple things

Random thing ever. I'm like, the complete opposit. Do you like it because you could like bend it?

Why? Yea, yeah exactly. But where were we gonna say?

As I say, I still haven't finished my Year of rest and Relaxation, and it literally is because it made me feel crazy because I was like, this was me not that long ago, and I need to close this like because it will literally like that felt so good.

That's also what I'm trying to avoid again.

But so I have a few CDs for you guys. We got Lemon Jelly, which I don't know anything about this album or these musicians at all. I just found them on Spotify one day because their cover looked really cool, and I've just been listening to them ever since, like a couple of years. And I just saw this in the store and I was like, oh, I need that. Then I got The Money Store by Death Grips, classic classic Death Grips album, Get Get, Get, Get, Got, Got,

Yeah, classic classic.

Really, if you haven't already actually know what, I'm not even gonna give that to you, don't listen if you haven't, because you're not good enough. And then Miss Lana del I.

Got Ultra Violence. But I really wanted Norman fucking rock Well on CD.

That's a really good album. But come on, ma pussy taste like PEPSI co also ya yo on there.

Yeah crazy yo.

But thank you for this episode. Peace, love, unity and respect. Do you need me to massage it? Do you need me to get it for you? Because I can. I can really do something. Motherfucker, your boob hurts. I can just touch it. Just let me touch it. I'm not gonna do anything. Let me play with it. Or whatever, like I can massage it and make it right. Oh, I'm the fucking weird it's always the guy that's the weirdo, and and you are the freaks, Like it's always the guy.

It's actually my nerve endings popping because my boobs are so big.

Your nerve innings are exploding right now.

Yeah, I just couldn't sustain a lot of pain.

Like I'm just wow so high.

Okay, Well, thank you guys so much for listening. See you next week. By next week I was gonna say, Oh, by next week, it won't be Thanksgiving anymore, so happy early Thanksgiving.

Why are you lying?

I don't know when that is, but I know I will be eating good.

Oh you better eat. You're eating no crumbs left behind? You're eating you know what I miss thinks you're eating like Thanksgiving? Bit you ate like McDonald Yeah, bitch, you ate like McDonald's. No bit, you ate like Thanksgiving.

And that's a good one though, that's like a good like. Oh, you you ate like Thanksgiving like.

You're eating not for white not from high family. I had this insane realization. I was on the phone with my mom and we were talking about like what they're doing for Thanksgiving, and she was like, man, you don't bother coming back. You're good, Like you'll be here for Christmas for a while. Sounds like my fucking family doesn't want me to come home because I was excited to see them, but she's like, now we'll probably won't do anything.

I was like, I really am sad that, Like I don't I guess I still follow her on ig and I think she kind of still post it.

Yeah, but damn I missed that pink plate. I know that pink I plate. Show me your pink plate. But I just had this insane realization where I was like, we're the white people with the nasty fucking Thanksgiving food, because like every year, I'm like, do you know what I'm excited to eat on Thanksgiving? Like this is really telling what I'm excited to eat for Thanksgiving. That I only eat at Thanksgiving are many corn dogs and they're frozen.

But that's nice that you still have something that you're excited to eat, because it's like, I don't.

Know, like you're not going out of your way to ever eat that.

Such a cranberry sauce too.

I've never had cranberry sauce.

Actually, like the fucking gelatinous jelly. I mean, it's kind of like the d shit that we drink. But I can't do it. I literally it's so rancid and disgusting and it has like the ridges of the can behind it ribbed for my pleasure though, because when I shove it up my fucking ass, it feels scared.

Well, my dad fucking eats my dad goes in on Thanksgiving and it is so much, so fucking yummy, and I'm always so excited.

Because my come to Miami for Thanksgiving.

He would literally like, I'm not kidding, I ironically love that. Like my my family is the family that like love. My dad loves being a host and having people over and yeah, and I love.

Going back and like eating all his food. And when I was vegetarian.

Break from each other, I know we were.

Saying that we were in my car.

In the cars when it shows the most, I'm like, damn, we spend too much time together.

What the fuck are we talking about? Are we cruising to the gym together right now? And talking about literally.

We're cruising to the gym and being like, oh my god, is that new Toyota? Wowt there?

Like oh that's my favorite tree, Like I love that tree. Okay, yeah whatever, Okay. Ending this episode, bye bye. We didn't get to finish that thought though, We'll save it for next week. Next week, next week, m mm hmm