Drew Hates Enya

I want to him and a group. Sometimes the man has to take control.

That is true. Like as a girl, sometimes I'm like, oh my god, Like my boob is getting more blood than my brain, so I like can't.

It's hard for you to understand certain things. I get it, and I'm glad you get that. Yeah, especially when you're making milk in there constantly.

Yeah, because I have to like feed the village. I don't have time.

The village.

Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

To this episode, I.

Know as I said it, I was like, we haven't made that mistake in like so long. We said that for the first like thirty episode until we realized that was not correct.

Yeah, welcome back to Emergency Intercom. This episode, we have a doozy for you.

When you say that and then follow it with nothing, it's like so anticlimactic. The first thing I want to talk about is old people. Oh, it's not based on that. So I just got back from New York and on my flight, it like this lady next to me reminded me of my grandma. And this freaks me out about old people is the fact that they can just sit and do nothing for like five hours. Straight like that.

I just didn't grow up with an iPhone in their hand, Like I actually, if I don't have an iPhone in my hand every five seconds, I actually don't know what I'm to do. Like I have my iPhone charging on the other side of the room right now, and it's normally in my pocket, and I actually feel naked without it. It's crazy.

It's because it's like the tick to pull it out and like swipe through like eight million apps for like any sign of like serotonin or don't.

Mean you can get serotonin depletion.

Yeah, but the lady next to me on the plane literally sat there for five hours doing nothing, Like I went to sleep and she was looking straight with her fucking hands on the tray, And when I woke up, she was still doing this. She literally was a little robot. She was just like rebooting and like re cooading.

Our neighbor just took a flash photo of them through the wind that was fucking so weird.

Should we go stop him or should we just let him have that for his enjoyment?

I mean, he can see it my skirt. I don't care. You don't Oh my god, you're catholic.

Sleigh today I'm wearing this baby doll dress that because of my big boobs.

Is it supposed to be pink?

Yeah, it's pink, the light pink color. Because I have too many white dresses that look like this. Oh my god. Kay's doing the thing where he's covering my body with his hands.

Well, that's good for.

Him because he's scared. He's look at my boo.

Guy's been hella jealous recently.

What did he do?

What did he do so jealous of me?

He's territorial. I know.

It's crazy, and I giving like, I never even said yes to anything.

I know, y'all were never like exclusive. So you're being obsessive and you're.

Treating me like we were exclusive.

Okay, Well, I was very clear from the beginning. I was very clear. I want nothing out of this except a whole.

And it doesn't matter that Drew was like taking you on dates and like listening to you talk all the time and emotionally tending to you and like picked you up from the airport every time you landed, and like all this stuff Like that doesn't mean you're dating. That literally just means that he's gonna fuck you later.

Okay, And you're crazy you're so obsessed.

I'm not crazy. He treated me. I've never been treated like that. And I mean, I guess he did only refer to me.

As whole and that, and that's his fault that you've never been treated stuff.

He's like playing with me right now. Can you see you what he's doing?

Well, he wants to fuck you.

We need to leap all those outwards out.

We're like, he wants your whole, he wants your he wants your slimy little hole, the whole slimy and ready for my And like, hey, my friend over there literally wants your slimy, slippery hole ready and spread for him later tonight. Are you willing to do that or not?

Like when Drew looked at me, I left snail trails on my on my seat.

Thank god, they're like this fake leather that we could just wipe clean with like liol because it's always sticky clean. You lick his sweaty hole.

When I when I saw that TikTok of you and Joside, like, it really fucked me up. And honestly, I feel like you owe me an apology.

Josiah kiro fighting, Oh my god, Okay, not to take sides, but he made a really good point.

Yeah I've been.

Oh for a year.

But enough about you slutty holes. Old people. They fucking scare me. Actually no, I used to like fucking hate old people, but then I had a moment where I was like, I like liked them in like a mean way. That was like almost like pitying old people, which I shouldn't do because they're like literally three times my senior, so I should be like, wow, you have so much to share, But like, I just can't help feel bad old people.

No, that's mean, I can't even say it. I half of them don't even remember all their wisdom.

I mean, it's kind of true, dude. It actually makes me so sad. Like when I see old people, I'm like, damn, like you're just like you're in it for like the fuck of it now.

Yeah, like dead ass. It's like like are you still here?

Right?

Like I love, love, love of my grandparents, but sometimes I'm like.

My grandma isn't old enough that I'm like, damn, like why are you still like kicking rocks right now? But I have seen old people where I'm like, Okay, you're pushing it, like.

Gave that life to a newborn, like make some room, bitch. This may be the most problematic shit we've.

Said on this because it's like Hella ages, Yeah, well okay, I just have a lot of rage for old people because this old fucking cunt was a bitch to.

Me at actually the most shocking moment I've ever experienced, Like like I'll explain it. So we were walking in the Starbucks and me and Josi were trailing behind Enya and and you went in before us and was holding the door for us. And then this old bag walked up with her stupid fucking Kelly Burkin like and her stupid jump suit track.

Suit Lululemon, like the one that makes like look like give it up, give it up, girl, you're pushing it.

And jo just I was like, you know, like why don't you why don't you go ahead of us? And She's like yeah, and like basically was like yeah, like I know I should be doing this, like treat me better. And we were like okay, and we didn't think anything about Enya held the door for her. She walked around India and like essentially ran to cut in front of Indya to like order before Inya. And I was like I've never experienced that level of disrespect without a single word,

Which is what's crazy. Also about like her fit is like she had fake Chanelle's flat song flats on, which that's just me being mean to her. To be mean to her, but how do you have a Kelly Burkin in your hands? It's probably fake blue Lulemon like like jacket and like Lululemon tights. And then like the flats aren't even like propertiono, Like now you're just making me. Now you're just making me mad because you're being a

And it was literally like no, we should actually call the city right now. And I was like, when have you ever wanted to fix anything this city?

Because because on that same street, I saw another old man once fall and hit his head and it was like really gnarly, and I was driving by and almost off the car to like go help, but he had his family around him and they were helping him already. But it freaked me out because I was like, oh my god, that's like that's just one of those tragic things that's like, oh my god, Like that person could like literally die from that, because like he's like eight

That, experiencing trauma. I don't think anybody should be experiencing that.

Oh my god, are you serious? That's you were just you're an EmPATH if anything. As Jess, I's been taking down his pants as a bit, not with his like wien or anything, but he just like will start talking to you, and if you turn around and you turn back around, his pants are like around his thighs and he's like hobbling around you.

Here's the worst I've had case of all time.

It's so ugly.

It matches his glasses. Flip it around. Thread is a lot, dude, Like that was made for the people that we were like talking about, like that woman in Starbucks? What are you doing? He's probably gonna look up grossest vagina ever on Google? That's just it. Also, he'll just look up grosses vagina literally grossest vagina ever on Google and then put it up.

He wants to cut that. It's maybe you shouldn't.

Can you get me my iPhone?

I got so scary? Walk in frame girl? Okay okay, me went on that one painting in Italy. You know, the hands touching the.

Girl with the pearl tattoo, the girl with the pearl tattoo, an egg with it.

Joseiah textaby, he said, talking about Barbara cook.

Kra Barbara Corkran, Barbara Corkrand for Miss Babs Babiana.

From Shark Take. I've seen her. I've seen her in real life.

I saw her really like the craziest. Yeah.

She was literally wearing like a tie die hoodie that said Miami Beach on it, and she was paying for all of her and her girl's drinks. And I was like, damn, that is such a slight That's what I need to be doing now. She see that's an old person that I'm like, that's so sligh. Maybe what I'm learning is I just find some people sad, and that's the problem.

I'm reading the ideas that I have for this episode, and it's fucking crazy. They're usually fucking worms that eat plastic. They want to make they know they genetically modified some meal worms that literally their source of sustenance is plastic and they need to release in bitches everywhere and just eat all the plastic and I don't give a fuck if they start eating plastic hombes and shit, like eat it all, like get it all out please.

Oay, but it will it like degrade like that in their stomach from their stomach acids.

Yeah, and so they're taking like seven hundred years it takes the worms. Just how long it takes them a shit.

But that means that literally at one point at home depot, you know how, there's like the moth balls. There's gonna be meal worm balls.

I'm so down for it. Get rid of all the plastic, please, get rid of all the plastic.

I don't trust green juices and like vegetable juices in.

Plastic, that's yeah, like even those like shots yeah.

Yeah in plastic. I'm like that feels like my body shouldn't be having like vitamins that have been like chipping away at the like.

Plastic that the acidity of yeah, like the citrus like yeah, like a Coca Cola and a plastic bottle you're asking.

For Yeah, you're already drinking something that's so like unnatural, Like what are you asking for?

Yeah?

But like don't put a green juice in a plastic bottle, Like, please, don't do that.

Yeah, fuck you.

Well, thank you guys for watching this episode of Emergine to come. We are out of here in the media.

Mine suns so bad. It's I really can't believe other people are alive. That's one of them.

I've had that written down in my notes for the episode topic thirty six.

Yeah, because I literally just like I can't believe it, Like I don't know, Like it's just like sometimes scares me so bad. Like when I was on the plane, I was just like, damn, this plane is so full of people and everybody's going to get off and they have somewhere to go. That's the craziest thing I know.

That's the craziest part about that is that's not real. That's what they want you to think. I'm genuinely serious, Like everybody is an actor, everybody's a crisis actor.

So then why would they make actors like the one who is mean to me today so we could talk about it on the podcast and keep us in fucking line, So I could talk about on the podcast and get in trouble for calling out her fictional flats, because then someone's gonna be like, what's so, what's what's the big deal about? Her having fiction's.

Crazy how we're free thinkers. You ever thought about that we're free thinkers?

And I said, I can't say mother Parkers who don't just agree to what I say? And then right after that, it's like my biggest issue and problem is I say shit like it's a fact when I'm just guessing. But I'm usually right. Anyways, you don't do that, Yes I do, fuck you, but you know what I'm talking about, Like.

Yeah, I was talking the truth, just like, don't don't argue with me.

It's any like literally any question you get asked if you use like just a bit of common sense and like what is it there? There's like a term for it. It's like it's like when you're guessing on a test.

Everything I've I genuinely believe this. Everything I've ever said or every word that has come out of my mouth has been real, Like it's been the realest shit possibly.

I know.

I'm not getting That's how I feel too, because I literally, random as fuck got into a conversation about the LGA like LaGuardia Airport because the LGBT.

Why are you discussing LGBT matters?

You wish I would talk about that, but I know I don't and I won't be talking about it. I don't know what that is.

It is July, it is July done.

But I was talking about the LaGuardia Airport and how like they don't take NonStop flights from LA and I was talking to a friend about it, and they were like, oh, like, I don't get why they don't do that, like they

Or they signed a contract with JFK, the reroute all of it to JFK.

No, so what it is? No, But I was kind of right, it's literally because it's a small airport and they just decided when it was built that it shouldn't take flights that traveled for more than two thousand of miles and then they pushed it to fifteen hundred, so I was kind of right, but the person I was talking to was like, no, I don't think that's true, like off rip without any like knowledge themselves, which pissed me off because I was like, bitch, why don't you just agree with me?

And I just literally just like that's the other thing. If I am wrong, internalized that shit, don't fucking tell me I'm wrong, because like, you have no right to speak I'm s you have no right to speak just what, No, you have no right, You have no right to speak me that way.

Also, if I'm saying a hypothetical, just like, go with it. Shut the fuck up, Like, don't like.

I say that. I was about to say, every time we've ever had a hypothetical, you have.

Because those aren't real unless I'm saying it, because that when I.

Give a hypotheticals aren't real.

Because that's the thing is when I get a hypothetical, that ship is real. I'm literally tapping in and I'm picking your brain a little bit. And if you give me the wrong answer, you're a bad person. You're gonna rot in hell forever. Yeah, that's the difference between you and me. Like hypothetical is like, Oh, I'm using them to manipulate Jose.

I just asked if you guys could keep it down a little bit.

Oh is on his to kill himself in my living room?

Hey, not there because.

My saying.

I wish I knew you wanted me.

I wish I knew you to me in twenty sixteen.

Way shan you to me in twenty sixteen.

No, that would be you to me because I wanted you.

And you would be like, I wish I knew you wanted me.

No, because if I'm saying that, that makes it seem like you wanted.

Me, right exactly, wish I knew you wanted me.

I wish I knew you wanted me.

It's literally and I never wanted you.

Know. It's because it's him saying I wish I knew you had to crush.

On me, And that's you saying that to me because I never had No, that would.

Only make sense if you had to crush on me.

Watch the girls agree with me.

Sorry, we had to take a break because you're genuinely got mad over that, even though you know what, you know what.

That's the thing is, I'm real, I'm real I'm real, you know.

Is when we listen back to it, you're gonna see that you said the opposite.

No, I really was saying like it's coming out of it's coming out of my mouth, like I'm saying, I wish I knew you wanted me, because if I knew you wanted me, I would have been like, oh, like I wouldn't have pushed it on it egged. And you remember me saying that you.

Did say that, But when I started it, I started it there. I was like, literally you to me in twenty sixteen, and then you were like, no, you to me, And then that's why that's literally want me to I wish y'all saw.

I guess we have it on.

Video, but maybe we don't play it because.

It got so serious. It got very literally.

He was you're laughing in my face, and I was like, dude, I'm sorry, like I don't know how I'm not supposed to laugh about this, like.

Well, well, shit, shit, let's talk about James.

And then I thought you were mad because I said that when I was sixteen I did it, or when I was seventeen, I didn't actually want to have sex with you. And then I was like wait is this making him also offended and mad? Right now?

Is that that did get under my skin? Well, because there was a moment.

Okay, but like you have to understand, I was like a virgin and also I literally like it. I mean it plays into how I've us sex now. It's literally like it takes so much for me to be like, yes, I'm sexually inclined by this person. Because I wanted to date. I could literally name like ten people who like I was like, oh my.

God, I'm they love me, they.

Love me, they want me to me. Because I had never experienced a single man being nice to me before, I.

Was like, wait, wait, this is what love is. But that's literally me now. Well actually no, I just fell in love with everybody that I.

See, and then when they start actually giving you attention, you get mad.

I'm like, why is this freak talking to me? Leading me me alone?

Well, we just gave Steve Lacy literally a ten minutes while on the podcast it's us arguing.

With each other. Cut it it now, cut it out.

Well, his album is awesome, So how about that?

Oh you you started liking it?

Yes? Or no?

I remember you saying like you only like like four songs off of it or something.

I still like. I like, there's only four songs that I would really listen to, like on rotation, like two of the singles and then like two of the other songs. But I don't. I just don't like listening to.

Just pay You that that last time.

I just like, I don't like like slow songs right now. I think because his singles were so like upbeat, that's like what I wanted the whole thing. But speaking of flirting.

Literally, okay, so I wrote this note down because it is like the most embarrassing thing, so I said, me, flirting is so embarrassing. I thought this worker at the plant store was hot. It was like I want to flirt, And my flirting was literally see you later. Like I was literally like see you later.

Eh. Also, no, you won't bit, you don't go anywhere.

I did do a lot of things about those You did not see him later. You did a lot of things. But I have seen him there before her they there, I have seen them there.

We literally.

Like, what is this supposed to mean? Am I supposed to Let's go wait?

It's literally no, we're being tested right now because it's for missing and endangered elderly lady.

Wait, what if this is like us outing ourselves? No, I can't even say that, but yeah, let's ride, let's go save them, Let's go save their good thing.

Like what am I like? It's so loud as it's like literally a call to action.

Yeah.

I saw someone redesign like the what are those called the Yeah, I saw them like redesign redesign of it, and I was like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. But getting this scary ass text on your screen and that scary sound like literally just like makes me want not want to do anything. But there was like a redesign of it where it was like like a radius of where the person is missing, like a picture of the car, a picture of the kid. It was like

That makes more sense. Like realistically, if I'm in my house and you're telling me like a plate number, the chances of me leaving the house and remembering that or like slim to none, because what happens is I see that alert and then I'm I just pipe up and I keep going on TikTok while I'm driving.

Literally, Enya does TikTok and drive I I do. I did. I did two days ago. I literally did. I was like, wait, I am too far into the hole and I need to like take a break from this.

I shockingly, I don't use my phone that much while I drive, like because I'm like really bad at it, so I just don't do it. But I love when people are in my car and I make the joke. I always do it and nobody ever says no, which

Well, the thing is is I have no care.

For my own life, so you should keep that to yourself.

If I'm being very honest, I'm just being vulnerable.

I mean, like at what costs, Like it's like boring.

It's just like super boring.

If I'm being honest, Like your SOB story is like boring as fuck. I actually saw I said that. I was like that this girl was talking about her trauma to somebody and then and they were like, I'm gonna be honest with you. Your trauma is really fucking it's like so boring. It's like not that interesting at all. I

Make top three easy. Yeah, it's easy.

I'm walking home at least with the bronze. Honestly, I might. I might get Yeah, I'm going home with the gold medal. I was, I was dropping.

He was just staring at I wasn't looking at you.

You were so nasty.

There's like a there's a way that your cock is pressing.

Sorr. That was like, really real, Look you made a move.

Made me feel small.

I was sorry to my friend recently, and I was like, I've been saying cock and pussy ironically for so long that like it is just I don't even think about it when I say it because it's so gross. I know it's so.

I say both those things with my full chests. I say them ironically and.

Un ironic pussy unironically.

Yes, well, I have a busy where I say, oh my god, my vagina, My vagina is literally so wet right now, I say both on ironically, Josie just wants to come into your body check and then leave.

You're such a has saved.

Get out of here.

Wait can you hear this on the mica.

The camera mic peeks.

I know, motherfucker, it's so hot in his house. Please.

It really is so bad that Spotify Yeah.

He Spotify.

Also, I don't believe that airplane mode like you have to turn it on when you get on a flight. I just don't believe that.

I've never done it.

Yeah, so it doesn't interfere with like the connection. I'm like, okay, this is a big piece of metal in the sky. You're gonna tell me my fucking little iPhone is gonna fuck with your GPS, like get a better.

I think it's on takeoff, like because they have to hear like the radio signals in their ears.

I never turn airplane mode on.

I do sometimes I feel like I would say people.

Are turning it off.

Yeah, like Max, the amount of like old people who have gotten like actual phone calls like on a plane, like they're not turning that shit off.

All old people have androids, let's have that.

Or they have the iPhones that they're like grandchildren iPhone three. Yeah, they have like the one with the button. Still. I actually had to help the lady at the last few minutes of the flight. I felt bad for her because I was like, damn, so she would use her iPhone if she knew she could, because she saw me using my eyes.

I just did chest on that.

No, she was like she asked me. She's like, oh, how do you have service? And I was like, oh, it's Wi Fi And then like I helped her connect to the WiFi and she was like, oh my god, thank you so much. Or then we like the wi fi turned not two minutes later because we were landing.

He made her waist fifteen dollars.

No, thankfully she had t mobile free Wi Fi. They changed it from an hour free Wi Fi to like the full flight, which is so awesome because literally, okay, yeah, here I go on the six hour flight with my hour of Wi Fi. Yeah, what the fuck do you want me to get done in an hour?

Like I literally take the time on an airplane, like to purposely not buy Wi Fi. I'm like, Okay, this is like the one time I can like be off my phone and like not need to use it. And I literally still think the world erupted in chaos and burns every single time I land, and right when I turned it on, I'm like like seizing at the mouth to like see what's going on, but nothing ever happens. But I try not to buy Wi Fi. I did like the last like two times, but typically I'm like, this is my moment.

I bought Wi Fi when I was going to Europe. Oh yeah, because I was like trying not to sleep on the flight, so I was like, fuck, I need something to do. And then I slept anyway because I got too high and I like needed to go to sleep. Do you freaking out?

Does it like buy for the whole flight?

Uh? There's different, Like that's the annoying part is literally why am I spending ten dollars for two hours of like Wi Fi or like for an hour of Wi Fi? Like you're a scammer, and I can't even watch tiktoks. I didn't even get to watch TikTok on that Wi Fi.

Really, yeah, So I was like what's up? What's the point.

Why did I watch tiktoks but I can't watch like like Netflix and stuff? Explain that to me, Like what's the difference, Like it you can't stream like Netflix on an airplane's Wi fi, but I can watch eight million tiktoks?

Wait?

What Like you can't like go on Hulu like on a plane with that Wi fi and just like watch anything on Hulu or Netflix, but.

You can watch TikTok.

Yeah, but you can watch TikTok's and you no. I said, why can't I watch tiktoks but I can't watch Netflix?

Oh?

I was like, I can watch eight million tiktoks, but I can't like watch a movie on Netflix, Like why is that?

Maybe they want you to buy the movies on the plane or something.

Or like watch the movies that they have on their yea, so fucking stupid. But the movies on so many like airlines suck. I haven't seen a TV on an American airline plane ever. Like I don't think I've ever been on an American airline plane and they have a TV like that. I shouldn't be in a plane that doesn't have TV. Yeah, Like enough, that is literally so fucking scary, like there's not a USB poort. They gotta start upgrading them to USBC because.

Like, oh literally, because like I can't even use they need Bluetooth.

Yeah, because now everybody has Bluetooth headphones and I'm not buying your fucking five dollars like gringly ass little stupid fucking headphone.

Yeah, but you have to buy them on jet Blue.

You have to buy the headphone. Every airline they do it differently, like it's so annoying. I'm like, also, can you all agree to doing something, because like why am I like following different rules?

Can someone monopolize the airline industry and just make it one airline so I can like like combined all my points.

Points are also like so pointless a scam. That's the biggest scam ever. They're like, oh my god, to make sure you sign up and use your points. It's like, oh my god, I have eight thousand points.

That much that must be so waste to Europe. At least it's like a one flight way flight to like shit, ask nowhere Missouri. You can get the twenty.

Dollars flight from Miami to Orlando.

Yeah, and you still have to pay seven hundred dollars so stupid? But will you complain about airlines and airports on this podcast a lot?

Because we're just always in them because our lives are moving.

Like I literally like I already forgot that I was like in La, you know what I mean. Like I'm traveling so much.

Like I just don't know where I belong, And honestly, it's like hurting my mental health and like I feel like disassociated because I get back to something and I'm like, how does this feel so familiar? Yet like so unfamiliar because I haven't been here for so long and it's like a never ending cycle. It's probably gonna trigger like

That is so dangerous.

It's never It's never failed for me. Like literally my flight was at three fifty nine and I got to the airport at three and I still had time to go look at glass. Josie, is you need so much attention?

You need Instagram?

Do you want some settle Mom's lap? Why you have this because I was smoking hell of vapes and stuff.

It's a fidget. How long can you do a wall sit for? When I first started working out, I couldn't even do a minute while sitting. And I did three what is it reps of two minutes each. That's last session, so six minutes. Yeah, but I had like thirty seconds off in between each. It was a nightmare. It was like the most painful thing I've ever done.

I used to be punished like that in elementary school, so I'm like pretty good at it.

Yeah, dude, that is crazy. We've already talked about that, like literally doing that, like wall sits and blur beads on the hot concrete. Yeah. Like when you're you're like in a push up position, you jump up into the air and then you go back down into a push jump up.

You're goutn't do that for very long.

I wish I knew you.

I feel like when I come into.

The room, things change.

You'd like suck all the energy out of this room.

I didn't even do anything, though.

You just breathed so heavily in my ear for like three seconds and then sump to the floor, Like you look like something really bad happened to you.

I like to watch porn on the airplane.

Oh my god.

I got so drunk on my last flight. I got so fucked up. I really did. I had like four calimonades.

Is it because they were free?

They were free?

Why were they free?

Can you hear me?

No?

It sounds like ship. Wait?

Why were they free?

I was on a.

Flight to the United Kingdom. I was on a flight to Europe. You can hear me now right.

You gotta get closer.

I was on the flight to the United Kingdom.

Sorry, just little bit closer? What a little closer?

I was on a flight to the U.

Didn't get any closer.

And here's the thing. There were free drinks on the plane. And I recently turned twenty one, so on that flight I had four or five bod eliminade.

That's so scary that you're only twenty one.

And the woman was saying, she was like, you want another one?

And I was like yes, Like drink orders were done.

Yeah.

Because also you know that when you're on an airplane, you get drunk or faster.

Yeah, and you also get I was.

It was an eleven hour flight, so I was sober by the time we hit like ground and.

Why were they free?

I don't know.

I think because it's such a long flight.

We were first you were first class, first class.

Were you really.

A little closer like that?

You want to see him throw this mic so bad?

So we went and he went to the bathroom with the stewardest.

No.

I didn't, no, but I did get.

Very very on that flight.

Me and Lucas both got drunk on that flight, and it was very It was a very fun time.

It was a good time.

Fruit name John Well.

On my flight to Europe with Oryan, we got like hell a cross faded and we were talking to each other and we kept forgetting that we were like we had headphones on, so we were screaming at each other and we were like, oh my god, Like are they gonna come back with champagne? And we were like yelling at each other.

Yeah.

I was just about to say that we were talking about it yesterday when like you were like, I've just been farting hell a loud, just randomly out loud. And then I was like, dude, when I want an airplane, I'll have like my noise canceling headphones on and I'll like rip ass and like internally and like, was that loud? Like that I just shit ass, like really loud.

You can hear it where it's like it's like an internal like it's like like a loud fart, so you could feel it like vibrate the bottom half of your body. So you're like, you know that was loud.

Since I have like such a such big like ash cheeks like they like clap when I fart, it's like.

There's no way. So wait, so your far is like like that's how it comes out because it's like trying to escape for each flat. Yeah, dude, I was sitting on the flight like this with my legs up on the chair in front of me like bent over, and I had paused my music because I was like looking at something on Instagram. I was watching an Instagram reel and I pushed out like a far and it was so loud, like I literally laughed out loud of myself.

You gave him a story to tell. Yeah, Like every person next to me gives me a story to tell. I said that next to the stinkiest people every single fly. No, I had that I'm the common denominator. H huh, I said, I'm the common denominator in all of these cases. What if I'm the stinky show?

Like just so, just so happened, You're always next to someone who stinks like it might be you.

It is a different smell every time. One time those tomatoes, someone smelled like rancid tomatoes, like borderline catch up.

Well, the man next to me smelled like the bunkust weed I've ever smelled. And he had two phones and then he started calling the phones and I started falling asleep, and he started falling on to me. And we'll insert that video because I got a video of it. Yeah, he was literally falling on to me. And I really didn't fuck with him because also I had an aisle seat before but before we took off. This was the second mother who I gave my seat to, Like, I know,

The mom bought a four year old another seat on the plane.

Maybe five she but she was tiny, like she was like a little ass girl.

Like, that's crazy.

But I think it was a situation where they got put on the flight because Delta had a bunch of flights that got canceled, and it seemed like those were the two empty seats and they just like that was the closest they could get them without moving someone else. So we like, I switched and he smelt like weed and was falling all over me, and it was like the worst five ever.

Sometimes I think that's really cute. I'm telling me why, why you look good?

And I know.

I'm run there, and why that's how I got a hair cut. You look so good cutting the eye.

Cutting a dye would look really bad with hair like that.

If you cut your hair, it's so bad. Or look at me, Jsiah, Jessiah, don't breathe on her like that.

I've gotten a I got a cut in a color earlier, and I'm just I feel really good about it. Honestly, it looks like ship.

You looks really bad, dude. This wig is maybe one of the best in I know hundreds. We got a field trip.

Yeah for the field trip.

Yeah on the Patreon No no, no, it's so bad.

Yeah, that was the original original pilot.

I liked that one. That that one was when I wasn't in it.

I know.

Wait, there was the art one, the ghost one, and the one.

I liked, the one without me one where you literally filmed it. That's where I got Ernie from Ernie. That's where the nickname Ernie came from.

We should honestly post the horse one. I don't have it.

I have it.

I think I still have the link. It's like unlisted on YouTube. We could download it four YouTube people.

I just had the m k V, the m P four for the last.

Twelve transitions that they need for us, and I was like, oh.

No tin no shade.

But I mean no, no shade, no all te no shade.

It was very crazy.

You look insane.

I can't believe it looks smart.

Also, you having the air ponds in.

Like I have the craziest nausea ever right now. I really cannot eat before this podcast, I'm like, I just like burped throat already looked so wet and like so.

It was not because me and Josie had a breakfast that was divine, that was to die for the.

Protein wreck and that was good.

We had a breakfast that was to die.

For Toney ran in the Hell and Mirror Barbara Corkoran.

Really fucking Babs, y'all were being lovely about her. She is an awful, awful human. She literally looks the way is she bad?

She's a good person, Barbara.

I'm just saying she's not standing to look at her or hear her. She hasn't made a deal on Shark Tank in like three seasons. She just always said I don't.

Get it, okay, because she's real.

Has wooden teeth, and she has leave her skin. She is lovely.

I love her, but like girl, we gotta She's had a knee surgery three times.

That's crazy.

That's not that crazy. She's like an older woman. Why do you have to get knee surgery? Do your niece just stop working?

Arthritis?

Arthritis author this dick Arthur Wright tits. This whole episode has just been like us arguing and then YO say it, interrupting and saying nothing for.

Like twenty minutes, bone Apple Tea. I wish you could have seen his full body.

That was so crazy.

Let me describe you for him, for the viewers the listeners. He's wearing. His ass is volumptuous, his pants are ill fitting.

Ill fitting, but around his volumptuous cheeks.

How is that?

OK? You can't just arch your back a little bit and just show that part of your body.

And then I literally can't watch me.

Ooh, watch me, watch me ooh ooh.

Sorry, sorry, but this is like kind of a big deal.

I got the fuck out of here.

When I oversleep, I'm taking a new mindset on it. I'm not freaking out about being late. I'm just saying, oh, my body needed more sleep, because that's the truth, and my health comes first. What do you think of that?

I think that's a sweet sentiment, But I can't live like that because I am a greedy, gluttonous bitch. And when I oversleep, it's literally not because I need it. It's because I just like like doing it and it feels really good for me.

I want it.

I can sleep like no other fucking human like I literally I could go to sleep at ten pm and sleep until twelve the next day, and not in any world does my body need fourteen hours of sleep? Like, I'm not doing anything that entail that kind of rest for my body.

I'm very neurotic about my sleep. I'm like, I only need six to eight hours, I'm only going to get it and then I wake up and I start my day. But when I do sleep in. You know what's funny is I wrote that note down and then I saw a TikTok the next day of someone making fun of literally those exact same words. They were like someone who's a morning person who slept in and they quoted literally that, and I was like, oh, I wouldn't claim I'm a morning person. I fucking hate being up in the morning.

Yeah, I feel that I do feel like I wasted my day, but I'm just like whatever. Because also when I wake up too early, like I freak out because I'm like, I don't have anything to do, like unless I have activities that I need to get done through the day, then I'm like, oh, I need to wake up early. But like, there's no reason for me to be awake before nine am. There's no reason, like for Enya humanser to be awake before nine am in the morning. There is not a Samad reason because I don't go

Literally like, no, I don't need that. We're going to the gym at ten am.

True, but like still see, I don't need to be up before nine am for that. I wish I was the kind of morning person who's like, yeah, like it's nine am right now. I woke up at six, I went to the gym, I took a shower, I had a little breakfast, and now I'm just like starting my day.

Someone's talking about me.

No, you're just like you No, you're losing your ability to hear because you're unhealthy. I saw on TikTok that it was like it was like when I was like, oh, I was like no, girl, you feel good because you had a meal and you were like girl, chill. People were like, which, this is like sweet like to think about, but like they were like, she shouldn't.

Have said that before he got to don't say it. I can't talk about my eating habits and yeah, and then.

I was like okay, like I'm talking about my friend who eats talkies for every meal, and then it's shocked when he eats a real meal and is like.

Guys, I get my cavalies. One way or another, I'm getting those.

Kinds that belly, but sometimes not the correct way.

I'll fill his loads. No, I've been drinking so much protein it's crazy. I'll drink collagen in the morning and then in the afternoon I just drink regular protein and it's lit boots.

I literally can't believe that you were like, I feel like you would still do it, but now you've been having meals, so it's like not as crazy, but I literally like I can't stress enough. It is not a joke that Drew literally survived for like four years off of hot Cheetahs.

It was even slim Gems. It was hot Cheetos, Red Bull and slim Gems like that is literally that was my meals. And I would be like, dude, why the fuck do I feel like shit all the time? And it's because, like I'm it's not exaggerate and it's not even on some like ed shit where I was like I can't eat.

No, it's literally just because you like it.

It was I was gluttonous and I was giving my body what my brain wanted, not what it needed. And I I have no idea how I'm still alive and I'm always like, why am I so constipated? It's because I ruined my body for four years. I ruined my body.

Yeah, because before we moved in together, I feel like he used to eat God oh, but that you always eat better when you live with your parents, because like your parents are like, let's go eat blah blah blah blah. And like also when we were on tour, it was like different because it was like we were like being given food. Yeah, so like you you were getting food, but it literally was like you were like the classic case of like man lives on his own is like, h.

Bro, what I have to feed myself? What the fuck?

How am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to buy food three times a day?

But like, actually that is something I've been thinking about a lot, is like how the fuck do people eat three times a day? Like it is hard for me to do. I've been doing it lately and it is actually really difficult, And I don't get how people are to do that. And I think that's just big food planting these little lies in our head, just like big milk told us everybody need big milk. Everybody needed milk. Go know the fuck we don't. We do not need count Also.

Everybody like eats so differently, like some people like that's like a for the bitches who are working up at six am. Go ahead and have your three meals mix, miss bitch, Like you literally have so much time to bitch. If I was waking up at six am, I'd have four meals just to have something.

You think you can get monkey pucks from the gym.

That's I'm not kidding. I was thinking about that last night, hmmm hmmm, because of like sweat and like the steam room and like things like that. I was like thinking about that.

Gross, I need the monkey pocks vaccine.

I think I think I can give it to you. I'll make a concoction and I'll just.

Make a holistic conco make something up. Yeah, I'll make s I'll get something wrong, I'll get you something.

All right.

Well did you hear that?

No?

Did you hit your fucking hand?

No, it just almost broke. I leaned back on it and just like I.

Thought, you did the thing where you embarrassed yourself by like hitting your head and you're like, oh my god, did you like hear my god? All right? Well that's it for the most foul episode yet.

Because Kai was in a bad mood the whole time, he didn't even care what I cared.

I was taking notes the whole time. Sometimes my depression just flares up.

Oh my god, didn't you ask though, Like, let's let's be over.

No, okay, you guys didn't ask. I'm okay. Honestly, I think I got three hours of sleep last night. Oh yeah, what time did you sleep? I got in bed at like midnight, and then I just kept waking up with my heart racing. That's the worst vibe ever, just freaking out.

That fucking sucks.

You should take like a chill pill or something.

Those aren't real. Oh, actually, that's.

We just need to change the verbie, the verbiage of that it's a chill pod. I actually do think I'm gonna start taking like CBD gummies like around with me, because the way I freak out and explode things in

Huh, you just need to take a chill fill.

Yeah, but not actually, Like I don't want to be medicated for that feeling. I just want to like drink that like CBD. Yeah, I just want to not do that, Like I don't want to have to take medication for being like an anxiety ridden crazy girl recently. So I think I'm gonna start drinking those like what are they like, the mad tasty CBD drinks. I'm gonna start drinking those.

Oh yeah, oh sleigh Merchant shipping out today.

What's your media of the week. My media of the week is the rehearsal by Nathan Fielder. So good. He's crazy, He's so good at what he does.

That's it for the combine everybody Dick writing for him? Bro, he's not even that good.

And then my Media of the week is just two new albums, be Topia and Gemini. Right, those are like the albums I've been like throwing on. And then I have like a few other things that I will be continuing to gate keep because that's what I do. And I still don't care and you can't make me not.

I have one song from Media of the Week and it's ain't nobody straight in.

L a oh, ain't nobody straight? This was my media a long time ago.

So gay.

That s in l It's true.

Except for me, Okay, I mean on the Beach by DJ Assault.

And are you fucking serious?

Mystery of Love? But I don't know how to say his name and.

Stephen, hey, come here, come here way, I.

Don't so Hi. You know how you came to me and you were like, okay, we need to niff the rumors, the short rumors in the bud, right, which I mean.

Like calling calling something that you're insecure about a rumor is a really good way to deflect, Like, I will give that to you.

You have no idea, I'll get any comment that.

Okay, Well he's five two right, yeah and half. So I got you something off Amazon to make you feel a little bit better about your care because.

And I got that telling the truth.

In Souls that you put in your new sneaker that make you grow by about four inches. Come on, look you put them on and it's inside your sneaker. Look and you'll be so tall and then its you and then you'll be a solid like five five four. Yeah, so you tired of me?

Why did you buy this?

Kai is taller than in theory?

I buy them for you. I actually want to see if they work there.

Kay. The thing is what you lack in height, you make up for in personality.

Okay, but I don't lack anything, and I'm objectively.

So you go from like five ft two and a half and then with your personality you get to like a five point four and one third.

The heavy Okay, so you guys don't no, Yeah, the that to make you taller.

Yeah, there's even more.

I heard three walked over there. Look you can put it. Should we put one more each?

No, let's just we don't want them to get too tall because it'll be like it'll like.

Shock you of your shoe as well.

Okay, okay, you need to your foot isn't in your shoes?

Frigging me out?

Wait is your foot in your shoe? Get your sneaky as foot out there.

Oh it was fully in. These are crange?

Well, I mean, okay, do you want to be we need to do.

We need to measure you before and then measure you after.

Well, we don't have a measuring tape.

We'll use my penis because it's four feet tall. Your penis is yeah, and you're not all people to say that how you know the truth.

So you're saying that this is crazy that your foot was in there.

I thought you.

Wasn't there, Like, what shoes are these made for? What do you w who? What shoes are these made for?

You can? But so you wear jeans with it?

Is this obvious?

It doesnt make you taller though. Wow, it's actually like almost unnoticeable.

Wait the side talk.

Wait, why are you actually so tall?

Now?

She's actually so tall? Now? Holy, I don't like saying this. You like that, but if I was five five, well.

Happen Okay, now you're like six one with those in like yeah, they give you like a I'm sure.

That those zeros will see it and they'll be like, he's not five, he's normal size, and now he's my sister.

Wait, why this guy kind of love him?

It would be so nice.

Does it feel weird?

Can I try.

What this is like an installer?

Does it feel weird like their feet are gonna fly out? Or do they kind of like taller than this? Yeah, he's yeah, he's huge.

Now we're just playing.

Oh well, I.

Know it and getting home and taking your heels off.

Basically we're normally yeah. Also if we're at eye line.

Well, because because you chronically stys stand on your toes, which is why you have stilts on because we feel bad because you're gonna get arthritis in those toes if you don't start stop like stepping on it.

And you have the world's largest calves. It's crazy you have big calves.

You are serving today, But it's probably because you have.

Been working out. Yeah, because when you walked in, I was like, you're like big right now.

Today wearing your heels back to the.

To the computer click fas.

All right, Well, thank you guys so much for watching. I hope you have a beautiful day. Should we rub noses a little Eskimo kiss. No, I couldn't get. Also, that video that it's like looks like me and Drew were kissing is real. And before we did that, he ate a handful of fucking doritos and he smelled so fucking gross, and I couldn't believe he did that.

I ate doritos and then we fake kissed and he was like, did you eat?

Because I was laughing while we were doing it, and we were just like looking at each other and laughing, and I was like, he smells.

Atast at least it wasn't garlic.

It's I would argue that the artificial smell of cheese doritos is worse than garlic.

Cheesy breath, cheesy breast.

All right, thank you so much, baby Me Andrew have to go because I have to oil up his breasts and rub my my clitterus against his nipple.

No, you're gonna milk me, yeah, with my bos

And bye