Well, you're just fucking late, which I don't know how he is Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. We're staying in the same house and somehow he's late to this episode. Me, oh what is that?
Oh my god? Okay, I'm sorry?
What, like, can you screw over? You're like on me?
Hi?
Hi?
Like, what are you wearing? Where did you get this? What is this?
Mes gifted me a bag?
Amez gifted you a bag? You don't even have the lock on? Correctly?
No, I haven't undone because it's a stylistic choice, just like I have the plastic song the hardware. I'm trying to like make a statement.
You know what is sticking out of it? There's like a big piece of wood sticking out of it.
Should we do a bag toy? Real quick?
Yeah? What's in my bag?
You know?
Also here, where'd you get those glasses?
The louise.
I've never seen a tag like that from Louis Vuitton, So I'm like a bit.
Old.
Let me take it so I can see.
Can them for a second?
Yeah?
They feel Can you hold my lock real quick?
Okay?
Okay, what's the.
Plastic on the lock too?
Yeah?
The plastic on the lock is blue, I know.
Okay, what's in my bag? Challenge? Okay, so the big piece.
Of wood, Oh, get the fuck away from me.
It's a big ass knife. It's basically like insurance. So if someone tried to steal my bag, I just pulled this out and hack them into little pieces.
That's smart.
Honestly, I don't know if anyone's gonna try to steal your bag.
Because because they're scared of me. Then I have a bag of chocolate bond bond okay rollers specifically, Oh.
My god, come on, man, I don't.
Think we can have that.
He's a.
State stuff. Oh you never know, really, yeah, you're never gonna know when you need that.
I mean I feel like I would know it.
I have this thing that I think it's an exerciser for your fingers.
There's no way, I don't think.
So that's definitely like.
And it's also a shoehorn. No, and then like it's a wirecutter.
I don't think you've ever seen anything in your life.
Then I got a projector.
Okay, that's good.
Yeah, you never know when you need a projector. And we were at the movies and I just stole it last night. Oh my god, Drew, I was like, okay, yeah, I'll pick that.
They're gonna tricks that baptize. We were the only people in that theater.
I got some stamps Beauty Garden, of course, what else happening here?
I like, I don't know why you need any of that, Like, in what world do you need any of this?
Dude?
It's in there. You have sand in there, there's.
Like sand, it's my jewels.
Okay, yeah, then I got it. Actually looks like you took thirty xanax and walked around to strangers.
Home and grabbed every day.
No, I keep this ship in here because you never know when you need mod page. Like, what are you talking?
I guess that could be useful with your like Ryan Stones. Wait, it's funny.
Imagine the lights went out. Imagine the lights went out.
It's a good point, honestly.
Yeah, I guess don't don't sorry, yeah, don't.
I don't know, Like who think of Pringles?
Okay, I don't know who signe you're on?
Oh the authenticity card?
Oh you just keep it in there?
Yeah, just so when.
Should I read this? We Double Space certified the anthnticity of this side of and confirmed that it has been subjected to the most excising quality control. Okay, cut it, why do you? I mean you gave it to me. It feels like you didn't read it.
Jewel pod and then can't go anywhere without my candy and mints, and I also have a little game boy.
Okay, I mean that's a pretty good bag. Hall the case of Lipsmackers.
Well, the Lipsmackers fell out because I'm a princess. I'm a queen.
What's cool is this bag looks like it was made in the same factory that they make basketballs on Amazon. I'm just saying, I mean, am I wrong? Oh? Oh my god? Like, no, you can't do this the whole episode. What are you doing?
He's going to re enter. I think enough attention the first time, and.
You're like putting things in the frame. Why did you have a safler?
True, it seems like you just have a bunch of You're dying. It seems like you just have a bunch of trash in there.
It seems like you should shut the fuck up because who has the Kelly? Who has the Kelly?
No one in this room has the Kelly.
Kelly in my fucking lap right now?
Wait, wait, wait, let's clarify this. Though you couldn't.
Afford a burke in No, I got the most rare Kelly colorway.
You couldn't even afford a fake Burken.
Oh what.
I'm not gonna do that. You're gonna pull it a gun.
I don't. I'm not confirming nor denying that I have a gun in this bag right now. So keep talking shit and find out, just.
Like you're starting to shoot your friends.
Let's just find out. Should we find out? But we've done making fun of me, because this is a real Kelly that gifted it to me. Actually I used to. The reason why is because I used to work at Arimez. I got fired because.
He got fired, and they still gifted you a bag.
Yes, I got fired because okay, look I was hired to do this photo shoot for them to promote their new basketball leather bag.
Wait, so you do confirm that as a basketball.
Yes, they recycled basketball, which it's.
A part of their new sustainability. Yes.
And basically what I had done is I put the bag on a pilot trash what insert the photo? And I took a picture And it's a commonversation on the wealth divide, and like things like that, and people were just like, that's really tone deaf and insensitive. But they were just like, you can keep the fucking bag as a severance package. I guess.
Wait, so you're saying that Ermez doesn't give you a true severance package, It just gives you the bag.
Yes, why are you bad at us? I'm gonna take eggs.
It looks like you bought a fake bag that is essentially trash and then you just put more trash inside.
Oh oh my god, come on, oh, bullet out on you?
Oh my god?
Why is it your skinny color? What is that? Why do you have?
Like?
What is this bag?
Like?
Well, we went with Drew and Josie to Canal yesterday and.
Canal is based the Rodeo of New York because there's a bunch of designer everywhere, and it's really fucking cheap too.
No, I don't think you're understanding, like.
These glasses twenty bucks three thousand dollars in La.
Wait. No, it's not like a it's not like a state to state thing. It's not like, oh, you get cheaper in New York.
It's like it's a tax situation.
You think that the tax difference in California versus New York makes this bag one hundred and twenty dollars and in LA makes this bag thirty thousand dollars.
M Well, I was gifted this bag, you see, so I don't know the price of the bag. But had I gone to and looked around, yes, it was.
On the spot. Like I love you and I like trust you, but like, and I don't want to put you on the spot. But I think you're just setting this like unrealistic standard that like our followers believe. Okay, I think you're directing. That's a lot in this episode.
Yeah, that's an actual weapon. I actually do have to blur that one.
Hypothetically, if you were paying for this bag and I had an extra ten dollars to give to you, would you have taken that ten dollars to help pay for your bag?
Hypothetically, yes, I would have.
So hypothetically, we were on canal and you pulled out one hundred and ten dollars in cash to a man who was trying to sell us to you for one hundred and forty and I said no, one hundred and twenty and you had one hundred and ten and I didn't want you to pull out more cash because I didn't want him to think you had more, And I gave you the ten dollars so you could cover the cost of this bag, which is one hundred and twenty Hypothetically, do you.
Think that happened. Did happen? That's the way it would go down.
Okay, yeah, if it did happen.
But the the camera looks like this shot looks really fucking good through these glasses. But then I take them off and I'm like, the hell, you know what I mean, Nika looks moody.
Well, it's because because it gives you like you're wearing rose colored lenses. I'm gonna put my toes up your butt if you don't stop scooting towards me.
Oh it feet Yeah.
Okay, well no, what I didn't even talk about my clog.
Anyway, We've we're still in New York. We're gonna be here for a minute. I don't think we ever clarified that we're gonna be like here for like an entire month for the rest of all time. And Josiah came to visit while we were here, and he has gone to Canal every other day since he's been here. It's a real like souvenir or gift for himself since he's gone.
It's crazy. He yes, he goes to Canal Street and spends so much fucking money. And the thing is Josiah doesn't spend money ever, but for some reason he can buy so much fake shit and not even batan. But it is like hilarious, Like carrying this background changes me, like in a very real way. It changes me. It changes my confidence and I become like legitimately a different person. Like it's actually crazy.
He becomes an awful person. If that's what if y'all were wondering, like what is him being a different person? Mean it he becomes a psychopath. It means he sits in the car and when no one and no one wants to talk because we've been talking all day. If we get a car somewhere, he's just mentioning the bag to us like we haven't seen it on him all day.
Oh d last night wait, which I'm in my bag, Like let me get in my bag too.
Last nime we went to go see a movie and we took a car back to the house and Drew was like what First of all, Drew chose to squeeze into the back seat, which we've realized he continuously does anytime we do get a car.
It's because I like to rest my knees up on the back. You like being smushed exactly.
But we were about to get in, and then me and Elsie were like, Okay, we'll just like get in the back is we're like smaller, and Drew cuts between us and he's like no, I'll get in and squeezes back there. And the whole ride home, I want to sit in silence, but Drew kept whispering my eye, my ear. I never even remember what you were saying.
I was literally just saying help, Like I was literally just begging for help. But no, the reason why, Like I think it's like six to seven times out of ten, like if there's multiple people riding in the car and it's like, do you want the front seat of the back seat, I'll take the back seat because I like to rest my legs like on the seat because I like them to hang down and like float a little bit, and it like squishes me. But I don't even what the fuck was I saying.
Now, you were kind of repeating yourself in a really crazy way.
I literally don't even know what it was saying.
Arazy fucking tip, like he has not been a real human since the moment we got here.
It's crazy.
And here are some of my favorite quotes. I've just starts writing down quotes from like Josie and Drew the past week because some of the things they say, Like, before.
We get into it, let me explain why I've been feeling this way.
I'm about to ship myself, so.
Before I do that, oh wait, no, never mind. I've literally been sick the entire time I've been here, Like from the day we've landed, I have been sick with either the cold or aflu.
Also we've been testing.
Yeah, we've been We've been testing hella.
And it literally is just like.
It's just a cold.
I don't know.
I have been for the most part. Fine. It's Josie and Drew who have been like actually passing away exactly.
So I've been like sick the entire time, which has made me feel like actually crazy, like my brain is like like completely different. And like two days ago, remember I was like, holy shit, like this is the best I've ever felt. And it was because I like was it was like the first day that I wasn't sick, and then I like went to sleep and woke up and was the most actually the most like I've ever been in my entire life, like legit, and that was.
Yesterday and that was also Granted, Drew says this about every single thing that happens in his life. Anything that happens is the most it's ever happened. Yeah, yeah, like, yeah, it's simply if Drew is like hungry, it's the hungriest he's ever been in his entire life, is he if he is tired, it is the tiredest he's ever been in his entire life.
Or like the most food ever served in the world.
That sweab. I can't that what all we're talking about in the room? Yeah was your serving?
It was. It was literally the biggest bull of fucking curry I've ever gotten in my life. It was actually insane.
Wait and you didn't finish it.
No damn because you had like one noodle.
No I I had a bunch of noodles. But it's like it's gotten to this point where I hate eating messy foods because it stains my mustache. And then I like literally like walk around the fucking stinky mustache, so I like, don't eat like we ate it like what Golden Diner and I had that like chicken cutsu sandwich or whatever that stained my mustache for two days, and like I would scrub the fuck out of it.
My brother used to say that when he ate a big Mac, it would stain his upper lip for like three weeks. Cort and then he hated eating Big Max because he was like, dude, I'm not kidding, I feel like the smell of a book Mac. It lingers on my fingers for three weeks, and they put something Hella strong in it so that it lingers. Because for some people, they're like, damn, I need a big Mac because they can't.
Get in a life of it. And they're like, shit, I need some of that fucking Max sauce.
Bro I'm about to mac on your sauce.
Okay, I'm gonna mac on your box.
So then what, oh my god, why are you saying it threatening?
I'm gonna watch, oh my god, Okay, I'll just cut just cut that, just cut cutting.
You need to cut.
It because has been crazy the past two weeks. Here are some of his quotes. One of them was from last night. Okay, should I give the like give a little backstory like context.
Yeah.
So the first one is we were at breakfast I think it was. It wasn't after a night of drinking or anything, right, We literally just like all went our separate ways, went to sleep, and then we were like, let's meet up at breakfast. And when I got there, Drew and Elsie were sitting there, probably the most silent I've ever seen them, but in reality they were just eas dropping like crazy on the couple next to them m hm, which they described as the worst conversation they've heard.
It was. It was so fucking dry. It was like two people that were robots, like made to like they were made to have a conversation, but neither of them were to do it. It was it was really insane, Like I've never heard a conversation like that in my life.
What was the thing? What fuck it? He said something to her that you guys that kept it was giving.
It was giving, like where'd you go? Like that type of was like are you okay or something like that.
Mind racing?
Yeah, yeah, mind racing. I was like, oh my god.
Like a lunch for someone and they're like it's like mind racing and.
She was like, I've just had such a long day, like also mind yeah, all day.
So whenever I got my food, I sat down with them and we're talking about something and then randomly drew cuts through what we're talking about and says, did you see Bryce Hall have a change of heart?
He did?
He like, oh, wait, are you talking about the ayahuasca thing?
Yes, he did. Well, he did some hallucinogen. I don't know what it was.
I think it was mushrooms.
Yeah, I think he did mushrooms. And and then like he had like a really gnarly trip sex.
Oh he did sucks.
Yeah, that shit is hallucinogen. That shit gets me crazy, like open hopzy, like third Eye. But he he took a bunch of mushrooms, had a really gnarly trip, and in the trip he was just like I'm like the worst person on this planet. And then he changed his heart.
Like God bless him, Like and that is amazing, And I genuinely do think that. But when I saw that clip, all I thought was like it was the Cao was like, why do men have to have ego death to realize that they have suck? People around them have feelings?
That's literally me when I was sixteen, like, way.
Wait, I think the people around me are feelings to develop empathy?
Yeah, yeah, just like.
Why why do you need that? But Drew said that, which made us laugh so fucking hard because to say did you see someone have a chained heart? Like is awesome. Then we were in the car and I was driving, or no, I think Elsie was driving, and I was like on the same side as drewid. He was just like conking out with his fucking head against the window, and he goes, there's a ghost in that tree and that's it, and he didn't say anything else, and we all looked at the window. We were like, what the
fuck are you talking about? And then when I brought this quote up later, he was like, you saw it.
You did know there was It was a fucking plastic bag in the tree. And I was like, there's a ghost in that tree.
But to say in that tree and he did it point He just said there's a ghost in that tree and moved on. And then once we finally got to us, no, they're fucking awesome. Once we got through the park, we sat, we parked. He knew we were on the way to the park. We parked the car and we were sitting and talking for like three seconds and he looks up from his iPhone and looks around and goes, oh, so
we're here. And that's all. That's what he brought side where we were all talking about like what we were gonna do, and like, oh, should we sit in the car logger and he just goes, oh, so we're here.
No, no, no, no. I thought we were at the coffee shop because you were like, we're getting coffee and I was like, oh, so we're here. I don't get it.
Like the way you said it was so funny. And then also we were we were in an Uber on the way out. We had all like drank a bit and we were like going to meet up with friends.
And I'm sober. I don't drink. I don't drink.
Yeah, has been drinking actually, But we were on the way to meet It was to meet you and Mason at karaoke and they were.
Five hours late to We'll get in that in a second.
Claiming someone was five hours late to something that was happening at ten pm. It's crazy, but were on the way there. We didn't even tell you this, but the Uber driver like was Ubu jobber.
Did you know he did a bunch of incest porn? Sorry?
Did he actually?
Yes? He had an only fans the uber jobber guy.
That's crazy. Yeah, how old is he?
I think he's like our age.
Wow, people get a lot done quick, but.
They really just figured out their life.
But all the way there, this guy like took an illegal turn and saying almost t boned our uber driver would be like a stretch of like something actually almost happened, but in reality, like one hundred feet away, the uber driver saw it coming and just stopped and like kind of hit his brakes fast and drew from all the way in the back. Very seriously good, thank you for saving our life.
It was like I thought we were like dying. I genuinely was like, oh my fuck god, we almost died. And then like I had to think him. I was like, thank you for saving our life because he was like quick thinking. He thought that he went through the motions very quickly.
It was just so funny because you were the only one all the way in the back and we were all cracking up about like him swimming on the brakes, and once it died down, he goes, no, seriously, thank you for saving our life. And then also.
He's like, yeah, how you shut up? You freak, you freak bitch.
Also, this is another backseat quote from Drew. This is the last quote from Drew. He just randomly, after no one was paying attention in for like five minutes of him trying to get out in touch with the bag, he just said that boys cry, but.
It is true. Let boys cry, Like do you know what I mean? Like, boys should be able to cry.
Boys don't cry, though, but.
Boys should be able to cry. Let us cry, let us cry. I've never cried a day in my life.
Yeah, I'm not a pussy.
I'm not I'm not a female.
Oh yeah, I've cried three times on this trip.
Have you actually you kind of did?
No way, so you cry. Let's get that straight.
You cry, Let's get that gay. You cry a lot.
Let's start saying that instead of saying let's get this straight, Let's get this gay like, because gay is.
What are some funny things that I've said on the trip? Because you did, Drew, and now you can do me.
Well you did say that.
No, there's something you know. Just open the part of the note where it's like, oh, funny things.
Oh you don't want to know what my notes app says about Kai, trust me, you do know to know what is this? Not that I've ever written your name in my.
Life, and what is this? And you're sending nudes to a Harry Styles man? Oh what is that? Because I read this this morning because I was like, I need to go through this just to note I want to talk about. And I don't know what that note means.
You do that all the time. You write like the most incoherent way to remember a thought, as if you can remember thoughts, like in the next five minutes, let alone through that. Like whatever that was supposed.
To mean, I don't know what it means.
So once upon a time get into it. It was we were talking about we were talking to someone about like nudes in general, and we were like, how funny is that that people like just take nudes and like whatever, people take nudes with their face in it all the time, like whatever, we're talking about that and I was we were just like, I was like, oh, I don't do
that anymore. And like the chunk of me doing that in my life, which used to really scare me was when I was younger, but now I'm always like well that's illegal, so like I don't like worry about it or think about it, but and also don't send nudes.
Yeah rude.
Oh my god. I'm just like, we have like a big audience nudes. Oh no, we have a big audience who's like young and impressionable. I'm trying to send a good message.
Okay, I'm trying to send a good message shots and nudes.
But when I was younger and I had met somebody on the internet who I thought was gay because they were a huge Harry Styles fan. Watch out for that, like watch out for that men. Oh it was this guy who he was like a big like a bigger fan account, and he was known for being like hot or whatever. Yeah, like he was known for being hot but also like super effeminate and a Harry Styles fan.
And I became friends with him and obviously, like not obviously I don't want to say that, but like in my head, I was like, Okay, you're this guy who, like you never talk about girls. You're only ever talking about wanting to like fuck Harry Styles, like it seems, and when we talk, I'm like, okay, like you're gay. Yeah, so you're gay? Like that That was like the vibe is getting granted. Maybe I should have asked, but this
is not on me anyway. I'm talking to this guy about like this guy, this other guy I do like, and I was like yes. I was like, yes, we are having a key in our text messages right now. I gave us friend you, so we were what the fuck are you getting.
Out of there?
Now?
You're eating some fruity roll up?
Sorry now that's what they call me?
Why did they call you the roll up fart?
Because I'm flexible.
Oh So, basically I'm talking to this guy and I was talking about another guy who I like, really liked, and I was like, I think I'm gonna send this guy a nude like like I was like, you know what, I think that's what he wants from me, Like I'm gonna do it. But I had never set a nude before, so I was like, fuck, I don't know. And this guy's like, oh my god, girl, like just said it to me, like I'll let you know if it's like cute,
like blah blah blah blah blah. And I'm like, oh, okay, like I I guess, like just let me know if it's like like not a flottering photo whatever, So bitch, tell me why I set this motherfucker a picture of my fucking boobies. And I said to him, and he was like, girl, that is so slay. Like, girl, girl, you have the most perfect booths ever, like to die for, like telling me like that about this nude, I just
said him. And I was like, thank you so much. Girl, I'm gonna go and send this off and hopefully we
get good feedback. Okay, Me and this guy kind of like stopped talking because then like over time he starts like really hitting me up, like post that in a crazy way that I was like, I had started to get it engling that I was like, okay, cool, like I think I just sent a nude to someone who like wasn't gay, Like that was like the vibe it was giving, and I was just like, okay, we started kind of disconnecting then love and behold, this motherfucker goes
and gets a girlfriend and I was like, hello, what the fuck is happening? But I never made any comment on it because I was just like, okay, like maybe it wasn't that insidious anyways, because like this is literally when I was like fifteen sixteen, so I was like, Okay, maybe it's not that insidious, like it's it's whatever. Fast forward to like a year and a half later, we are all somewhere where one day we have to get into it, but we're we all just so happened to
be in a hotel room together. Oh and I'm walking back to my room to go hang out with a friend.
And I didn't know it was him.
Yes, it's him.
What the f Yeah, I thought it was just some random head.
No, it was that person.
Oh my god, this story, it makes so much more fucking sense.
Yeah, and that's how I knew it was insidious. It's evil, yes.
Because this motherfucker did it to another one of our friends. Yea, the exact same fucking thing. Yeah, whoa, it's sick store. Yeah.
Basically, this motherfucker is a freak and was like begging me for nudes and to come into his hotel room, and I was like, can you leave me the fuck alone?
And then.
I basically blackmailed him and made him give me two hundred dollars or else. I was going to tell his girlfriend, and his girlfriend found out anyway, because one of our fucking friends was like put him on blast, which was just like, because I still got money at the end of the day, I.
Got my doubt. He literally would fake gay for nudes. Yeah, he's like ultimate. What is that like, Chad? Is that Chad behavior?
Is that behavior?
I feel like that is not Chad behavior?
Who's Chad behavior? Like a vegan person?
I think Chad's like alpha male.
Right, Yeah, that's very cool Sigma behavior.
I don't even think that's Sigma.
Because that's like get your irma's bag off of caw Street.
It's Magma, Yeah, Sigma Magma alone. Will I'm alone?
Well?
Could I get a little my own thing at the end of the day.
Into right now? Will me everything you have? Now? Sorry? We sorry, we're getting delivered. This is the second time y'all have delivered us stuff in a podcast episode.
Second, well, we briefly spoke about this in the last episode, but I don't think it was touched enough or talked about enough. But Kai being one of my altars, like he doesn't exist in y'all's reality and only in mind. But for some reason that I have like a mass illusion.
You guys know that I exist? Right?
That makes sense?
No, it doesn't make sense. I do exist, Kay, How old. Are you twenty four?
Okay, no truth, I'm twenty eight, twenty three.
Twenty eight, I am twenty eight. That's the truth.
Sell the truth.
Hi, you're gorgeous.
Honestly, thank you.
You're very lucky. A lot of white people at your age stargetarian.
They turned to zombies and I thought.
You were like twenty four when I met you.
Okay, that's that's awesome. How have you four for the past a long time ago, for like the past years. I do retinal too, finanl not. I don't do fence and all I said retinal, I don't do feminol. First of all, it feels amazing.
It gets you more high. Speaking of drugs, I don't think I've told this story on the podcast, which I probably shouldn't, or maybe I have, and I'm just forgetting because it's been ten years. But have I told the story about me? Have I told a story about me? Like waking or like not being able to sleep for like a couple of months and then I asked my dad for help and he gave me trazodone and an ambient No you mentioned the last both, Yeah, he gave
me both. But wait, same situation as last time. Where he was like, take one of these or the trasdone was like a big fucking tras and it was built for like I think I've told this story before.
No, I don't think just.
Because I don't know what you're talking about.
It was a big fucking trasdon. It was like the one that was a trapezoid where it was cut into four doses. But like, my dad is like a bigger guy, so he was able to take that in one dose. And he didn't tell me this, but I should have cut off a fourth of it and taken that to get to bed. And then on top of that, he gave me an ambient I don't think he meant for me to take the Trasadin in the ambient.
Physical album of it or what like ambient music. He gave me ambient music.
I was so confused. But no, he he gave me both of them, and I don't know what his uh prerogative was. I think he was trying to kill me.
I don't think you're falling.
But I took both of them, and I.
Took the bro shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck.
Alone, Leave me the fuck alone, like he was literally leave me alone.
Oh my God, you're fifteen. You should be able to go to sleep.
So he gave me both. I was like, what like one hundred pounds at the time because I was like deeply depressed and not eating. And I had taken an ambient before and it made me feel really good. And I ordered a bunch of shit off of Amazon, Phillip's Hugh Lights to be specific, but anyway, so I knew what to expect the ambient, but I had never taken
a Traza doon before. But I did a bunch of research before it took it because I'm a freak about drugs, and it was just like there's literally nothing like to worry about. It doesn't affect like your mental state, Like it just is like a chemical thing or whatever. It's like beneath the scenes. It may make you drowsy, but
that's it. But I took both of them at the same time, and I was watching I don't remember what show I was watching, but I was just laying in bed and then like I felt like vibrating all throughout my body and I started like sweating a bunch and like I was feeling like pulsing of me for my plug.
Yeah, exactly, I mean, you're vibrating.
Come on, you knew it was giving it was giving wing, but three thousand, maybe four thousand. But I was laying there, my body was like started buzzing, and my brain was like zapping. It felt like fucking electricity was like exploding in my brain. And I've only had this experience one other time, and it was when I drank a bunch on my kalanapin and I genuinely thought I was gonna overdose. But that's another story for another time, bitch. But I
ran through that. I was self medicating Hella. Like it was crazy.
That's a crazy way to describe like playing with drugs.
Well, no, it was like I was genuinely like the most depressed in my life, and I was sure.
You actually trying to like like figure out like a potion.
For I was like trying to avoid reality, literally me.
When I'm making potions in the backyard with dirt and grass.
Literally. So I was laying there, brains apping, body vibrating, super fucking hot and sweaty, and I was like, something is not right. This is crazy. I've never felt like this. So I stood up and like immediately like I get like head and you know the layout of my old bedroom, how my wall was here, my TV was here, my giant fish tank was here. I get out of bed and walk around my bed, and I had a trash can by my bed that I had fucking taken out
in like probably three months. It was like gross, filled, overflowing, disgusting, and I literally just like faint. I faint into the trash can and I fall like face first into the wall. My cheek hits the wall, and I'm just like laying
there in a pile of trash. And I don't know exactly how much time passed, but it was less than probably like fifteen minutes, because the same episode of the show that I was watching was on, and I woke up in a pile of garbage, and I was like, holy fuck and shit, like I'm like I'm literally like overdosing or something right now, like what is going on? And like I start freaking out, and I'm thinking in my head like I'm not about to die in a pilo garbage, Like come on now, Like I cannot die
in a pile of garbage is just so cliche. So I stand up and I start walking again, and I get in like I have like a hallway in my room, like my on sweet bathroom is here, my bedroom is here, and then my door was here, and I'm walking towards my door and the vibrating, buzzing feeling happens again like the zap, and I just like am standing and I fall straight back, hit my head and bite through my tongue and so now like I like I fall like literally like out of a cartoon, like like it was crazy,
and I'm laying there on the ground. I wake up again like a couple seconds later, and I'm like, dude, my head hurts, my tongue is bleeding. Like I get up again and I stand up again, and I pass out again from standing up, and I'm like, holy fuck, like I'm literally gonna die. So I've passed out three times now in my bedroom and it's all from standing up. So I like am in my head and I'm like, okay, every time I stand up, I'm passing out. So I
just like have to crawl. So I like open my bedroom door, and I crawled to my sister's room and my mom was sleeping in there at the time, and I like just like pass out on the floor again and I head butt her door open, and it was just like this big fucking thing and.
Like, oh, wait, your parents.
I went to my sister and my mom because I couldn't go downstairs, and I'm like I start yelling. I'm like I'm dying. I'm dying, Like please, someone fucking help me.
I'm like overdosing, Like please, someone fucking helped me. I took trasidone and ambient like I need help, like call an ambulance, calling ambulance, and like this was in the era where like I was starved for attention and my sister and my mom had just been woken up out of a crazy slumber and they were like, girls, shut the fuck up, like no, you're not, and I'm like, no,
dead ass I am. And this was also in an era where I was like really insecure about my body still and like I wouldn't even let my like family see my body. I hit in my body so much, like it was it was really fucking gnarly, and I was in my boxers and my mom was like, wait, like this is kind of crazy because he's like like he literally is like he feels like this is life
or death. And she's like, do you actually want me to call an ambulance and I was like, no, whatever, and I just fell asleep on my sister's bedroom floor until the morning and I just like had knocked out there. But I fainted four fucking times or three times. And it was like the craziest experience that ever, Like I wish I could like describe better, like the body and mind feeling I had. It literally felt like lightning was like electrocuting my brain. It was crazy.
It was probably the ambient right that did that.
It was like I think it was like the concoction mixing them. It was like the biggest trasinone and the ambience.
Have you ever gone to the ambience sub reddit.
After I bought a bunch of shit? Yes, I did. I like went on there and I kids like seeing the walrus or whatever.
It'll be like a photo of somebody in their hand is like like their fingers are like it's like a foam cup and their fingers are like punctured through the phone cup and it just says McDonald's or something as the cons it's all spelled wrong, and.
Shit, I gotta talk about buying drugs online.
No, it's like a subreddit that like people go.
On people like post on it when they're on ambient.
Yeah, well that's fucking insane. I literally what's crazy is like to be in a state of mind where you are like open to taking things period.
Yeah like that.
That's like I guess I've just like never I'm so terrified of like everything, but I mean with good reason. But I feel like you had your reasons to be scared of like every like drug ever known to man.
But well I wasn't even like scared. I would would just like neurotically research every drug, like I like have like the craziest knowledge on literally every substance because I was obsessed, like literally obsessed with like altering my mind. It was like it was really gnarly. And then like I was gonna never mind. But yeah, I loved drugs in high school. It was so bad, fuck me up for life.
I loved like tending to myself and like self care and baths I did it. I did not like baths. I fucking hated baths. I didn't do shit for myself in high school. But I didn't do that. But also I guess I also didn't have like I didn't have like access to that stuff, and I didn't know anyone.
You didn't have access to a bath.
Like drugs and stuff, Like I didn't know anybody who was like doing anything other than like weed and lean and those just like never piqued my interests. Like I didn't know anybody who was like like like even during like the zandemic, like there wasn't like people who I knew who were doing zaise Like that wasn't like a thing. Like I didn't know anybody who was like abusing adderall until I met like other people who were not from where I was from.
Yeah, I was so secretive about it too. Yeah, oh my drug use it was crazy. I was so I got so good at hiding drugs.
I think it also maybe has to do with the idea of like if you're somebody who even goes to the doctor, I feel like that's like like does that make sense? Ideology is like since I lived in a neighborhood where like most people didn't have health insurance or healthcare and stuff, and like obviously mental health was not like on anyone's mind. Those kind of things weren't even like in our scope, like adderall and like SSRs, like I didn't know what an SSRR I was like, obviously,
I'm not dumb. I knew people had depression. Not to say that like not knowing that makes you dumb, but like I knew that those things, and I also knew because I was feeling that, But I still didn't even understand the fact that there was like medicine for that. Like I didn't know that. Still I feel in high.
School, Yeah, the only thing I cared about in high school is like getting pussy, getting pussy, and the football because I was the quarterback.
You were not the quarterback in high school?
I'm sorry, don't you believe me when I say that?
What?
Why don't you believe me? I was the quarterback and the most popular.
Insert a photo.
If you're the quarterback, yeah right, not in you would have a lot of photos. They probably take so many of you.
They never took one.
Why would they not take a photo of you?
Being the pot it's giving. She doesn't go here, you don't know her.
No, they voted me as like, uh, smartest.
Coolest, most likely to be stupid.
That's oh my god.
Well I have this note? Should I read it?
Yeah?
In high school, since we're like still talking about that shit, I used to not wash my clothes all the time because I was super fucking depressed and disgusting and I thought I was slick and I would spray fabreeze and core relise all over my dirty clothes before school, thinking I was slick. And I feel like that is a very big sign of a depression depressed person, as if they smell like for breeze and rink core release.
I was not allowed to not have clean clothes. But also I've always been on my like germophob tip of like that freaks me out, Like even in my darkest depression, like that freaks me out. It wasn't until I was like really depressed and like twenty years old and living alone that I would be like so sad that I would just like not be able to shower. Yeah, And even then, like I could go max like a day without showering, but the next day, I'm like I have
to shower. I'm gonna freak out because like I think that for me is something that makes me feel even worse, like and not in like a comforting like like oh like whatever, like I'd rather just like lay here, but like literally I'm like, oh, I like here, But that's because I'm like clean and I'm like, I always smell good and whatnot?
Was that snow Patrol? Mm hm you were singing, yeah sick.
What is that band?
It's like a song that was big in like two thousand and eight.
I think, can we just lay here? Would you lie with me? And mm hmmmm.
I remember when I first heard that song. I was like, I don't know, maybe this is not normal, but I feel like music just is not doesn't affect you as much as you get older. I remember like hearing that song, which in hindsight isn't like the best song in the world, like being like a little kid and hearing that and being like so overcome with emotion.
Yeah me with Hey there, Delilah. Yeah, like that song literally like changed my life in a very real way.
Bad day, you know, So I was like, yeah, had.
A bad day.
Oh yeah, that song.
Freaked me because it made me so much Saturday.
I feel like, is that normal to like I feel like it is as you're older, you get kind of like jaded to stuff, but like, hey there, Delilah. I remember listening to that song and like imagining like world building and imagine it.
Was literally it starts in my toes. Then I crink on my nose wherever ricos always no, make me please?
What song is that? I don't know. I don't know in the name of that song?
Doesn't she talk about bubbles in it? Or some ship bubblely toes. I swear to god she talks about. Yeah, I swear she says something about bubble toes. Then I crinkle my nose bubble toes.
Wherever it goes, it goes. You make me I might be saying lace wrong though.
Remember when you walked into a glass plane, dude, it was the craziest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. So we're at the Nogucci Museum getting some Nogucci lamps and just observing like our surroundings. It's really cool, Like sculptural.
Are just so taken in.
No you weren't, No, you weren't. And there's like there's like glass doors everywhere, like dividing every one of the rooms. And we're like heading out after we make our purchases, and Andy and I are just like talking back and forth each other. She's looking forward and she's looking at the door and no, hold, no, no, no, no, no, no no, no.
Looking at the door when it happened.
Okay, well whatever, you were walking towards this glass door crazy and you literally just walks into a giant glass pane. The door is right here. She walks directly into it like nothing happened, like nothing happened, and or like she couldn't see it, and then we all just die laughing. But she was so embarrassed.
So here's what happened. We were coming downstairs and like we weren't that far behind these two guys, and they saw us and they held the door open for a second, but I think in the time it took us to finish getting downstairs, they were like, bitch, I'm not holding
this door open that long. So they kind of like they like dip and I didn't realize it because I thought they were holding the door open and there was a lady with with like really nice boots on to like my right, So say like, you're where the like lady with boots is and it's like a big glass pane and then the door, and I was thinking that it was two doors, but one of them was being held open by the sky still, and I was looking at the ladies boots and I was like, those are really nice boots.
And hallucinated that man because I did not see.
You know, they were still in the room, because they saw it happen, and they didn't say anything. They didn't even laugh, because I think they kind of did feel like that's on us, Like that was on us because they literally were holding the door open. And I don't blame them because we were just fucking taking so long. But I have never hit a glass door like that.
Crazy. She walked directly into it, and it was so because those boots.
Maris, why did you walk directly into a piece of glass?
Oh, because that's what pretty people do. Wait, have you never done that? That's what like Gorge's hot people do.
I actually actually just that. I actually just done that twice twice.
Dude, If you do it twice, that means you're really ugly. It's the one time that makes it three times that's really bad. You're unbearably like it's it's like it honestly is like against the law to be seen.
I just realized, aboth of y'all are going to die in seven days. Oh my god, if you have acne, just wash your face with soap and drink water.
Yeah, do you not know that it's like a it's kind of like an inside thing.
Just drink well and eat well. Get your gut health in check.
Oh yeah, because your gut health is like awesome.
Me after eating a bag of Hokeeys, you.
Do have such good skin for eating like Neon red, neon neon blue food.
It was crazy because when we went to the Gucci Museum, that was the first day since being here that I actually got to eat good food. And it's because we stopped at a gas station and I was able to get my candy and mince and bag of chips. Back of chips.
Was annoying because I was thinking. I was like, oh, what did we eat that day? Like what did what was the good food we ate?
Yeah? I was literally like, finally I get to fucking eat good food or real food, I know.
And I looked at the backseat and it was like berry flavored gummies, talkies, A red Bull.
Oh.
I drank a Red Bull for the first time in a long time, and it was so good. I literally felt so good after drinking and I was like, damn, maybe I'm like back on the horse, Like maybe I can start drinking red Bull again.
Yeah, it's like a supplement.
I also got bazooka Bazuoka bubblegum. Oh really with.
The gum with sugar in it.
Drew literally goes into a gas station and like whatever packaging is, like Louder, that's what he picks. Like that is how he picks his candies, like it's not it's not packaging, vintage packaging.
Like if it looks like they.
A vintage vibe to it.
The taste with your eyes exactly first first and then your nose and then your mouth. Think about that.
That's how I feel about your bike. So walked, I see it, I smell it, and then I taste it.
So Enya walked into a glass plane and she also almost killed us on a rebel.
Okay, like a lot of a lot of this is being framed in this light that notes asked if I'm okay, like what happened to the me in the situation? But you know what, because I'm so secure and confident in my person, I walked into that glass of pane and then I that pane of glass and then I continued on with my life like nothing happened because no one could bother me. I'm not kidding, And it actually is crazy.
Even the second happened, Elsie and us laughed and like I just kept moving and then they tried to bring it up like twice more and I got too distracted. Oh my god. Wait, water fountains are so good. Let's talk about that.
They do taste really good.
Like why is taking out of water fountain so good? I think that's how we were much drink water.
Yeah, it's like the cat's drinking. It's like the cat's drinking out of the flower fountains, like they drink better. It's like the same, so.
Good, that sucking motion, but like you don't have to put anything in.
We used to drink out of waterfalls. Pause pause, pause of the year.
You do that when you eat. When Drew eats and he has croats, no, he goes, he goes with this like like this. His fingers are so dry that you can like hear it, like put the mic next, like it's so.
Loud, you know, you like rub your your fingers together and then all those like little brown bits of like den.
That doesn't happen, right, that happens to you.
Yeah, it happens. It happens everyone.
Oh my god, I'm crazy.
This is a normal thing that happens everyone.
Oh, basically the revel thank you, the revel murder that almost happened was you know how in New York all the outdoor dining like they've created it just pressed wait we also, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. The worst thing that happened to post COVID two things. One some restaurants, and I don't mean all the people that were affected by I'm not talking about that. This is the worst thing that actually happened, the worst shit that ever happened
because of COVID. One some restaurants give out like plastic like. There are still some restaurants who don't give you real plates and shit anymore, which pisses me off because I'm like, one, not sustainable. Two I am paying you way too much money to be eating off of a plastic dish right now. I let it slide for COVID because I was like, you know what, that makes sense. I don't want to be eating off of these other bitches. But now we are vaccinated, I would hope more people are smart and
just wash your shit. Motherfucker. Give me real dinerware. I want real dinerware. I want it to be cute, you.
Know, what's disgusting is when you get like a fork from a restaurant, it has like bite marks in it.
That's sometimes when I am at a restaurant and I'm like, damn, especially it is the most public thing I put in my mouth.
Is like just for drink out of the same fucking glasses as everybody else. It is kind of randy, you know.
It is kind of insane, Like imagine how many humans have eaten off of your fucking plates.
Just wash drink cups in silverware, like I wash drink cups and silverware. Oh yeah, it's bad.
That's how I feel about it. Whenever I use a glory hole, I'm like, Jesus is so dirty.
That's how I feel about what I have sex with Drew.
That's how I feel about Jesus.
Like who knows who's been here. It's just like I am ran through h I'm run through. Its huge, it's used. He doesn't he doesn't meant to not washing it very well.
Like RT to l g B t Q ran through. Let's ran throught.
We are l g B RT.
We're going to get J on there too. For Jews.
J we need to put s on there for salami sandwich.
Crazy. Oh, but the other worst thing happening is door dining. I'm over outdoor dining. If I'm going to a nice restaurant, I do not want to sit outside in the box you made.
For two hundred dollars. And it's a literal sauna and a greenhouse in that fucking box, and it's three thousand degrees hotter than if I just sat outside on the street.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy. I don't want it. Stop doing it. But the Revel we were getting on was parked right behind one of those and it was blocking the view of me seeing cars, and Drew was on the back of my revel because he cannot drive.
So they can drive, you can't.
Drive, And we defeat stereotypes.
I'm the driver, he is my he's MIT's my passenger.
You are literally my passenger. What wait, what we're dating? What are you talking about?
Did you just come out.
Like sometimes we talk over each other to such a capacity that I like get lost because I don't know what was being said, Like I don't know what I was saying versus what you were saying.
You were saying the rebel and you said I couldn't drive, and that you could drive. Don't fucking look at my mustkesde you just.
Look crazy with these glasses on. It's crazy how much like real state it takes up on your face. But it was blocking my view and I went to go like trying to slowly creep out, but I like ramped up and as I pulled out a raph for which I have almost been killed by three times since I've been here. Now that gets added to the list of crazy people who.
Drive on Ultimate two thousand and eight, two thousand and seven, maybe a four.
And it's that or the brand new ones crazy. Actually, no, all niece on Ultimate drivers no matter what year, you're crazy. You're fucking crazy. And Raph four drivers are crazy because you're crazy. There was somebody on a raft for speeding down the street and he almost killed and it was my fault. But Drew is so annoying Yourew is the worst rebel passenger ever because he's like, oh my.
God, do you know do you know what a revel? A revel is like a scooter that you can rent?
How is that legal? I think it's like it's a bird, but it.
Should not be legal. And it's electric but it should not be legal. They're so dangerous and well the reason I was like, oh my god was because I was like in you can you turn? Can you turn? And you turn it? Because we were driving straight for one of those fucking outdoor dining huts and she wouldn't fucking turn the wheel.
I'm not on there, like I don't want to crash.
Yeah, I know you don't want to crash, but sometimes you're just not turning the wheel enough. On your own, rebel bitch, and get your own rebel bitch.
It is myel.
Okay, yeah, fair, fair Pharaoh Jack, Pharaoh Jack. Okay. Let's do some media, all right. So for my media of the week, we got Wildlife Analysis by Boards of Canada. We listened to it on my walk the other day. It's really nice an arc of Doves, Doves by Brian Enu and anyone else but you by the Moldy Peaches. And then we went to the movies and saw Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. Yeah, it was like it wasn't meant to be the best
movie ever made. It was exciting. The kills were like really cool, like the way they killed people, but like the ending was so beat, like I really didn't like it felt like so just fuck, how are we gonna end this movie? Let's just say this. It was very tongue in cheek and fine, but like some of their jokes, I was like, girl, shut up, like please shut up. But ultimately it was a good movie. It was fun.
Yeah, I loved it. I would literally watch it again, like and I just saw it and I would watch it again. It was fucking awesome. Yeah. I really don't think Pete Davidson should be in movies.
I don't don't like Pete davids So does anybody else?
Feel like Pete Davidson and MGK are kind of like a cultural reset.
In what way, just like in a bad way.
So your culture they change.
I see what you're saying, Like they've changed so much.
They've changed a lot. They're pushing boundaries. They're kind of like.
I think they have tattoos.
And was somebody who was put on this earth and he was supposed to be destroyed and he somehow made it through, like there was a legitimate system and they and and whoever was sent to destroy him. Yeah, I thought he had been destroyed, but it was because of that hair line procedure he got everything went undercover.
Ever, in my life, you don't interacted with, like never one of them, not a single person has been like, yeah, I listened to MGK, like he's my favorite musician, Like who is listening to his music? Actually it's giving like imagine dragons vibes, Like who is listening to his music? So really, you can't tell me that there's actually real people. He's bodying his shit, like and he's bodying everything. He's
boughting Twitter, TikTok, Instagram, Spotify, Apple Music, his concerts. He builds robots for it to fake like they're real people.
Because there's proof here of who listens to it. Here, let me look at this playlist MGK, Jack Carlow, Post Malone.
Young Gravy, Young Gravy, all in the same vein, Dave Matthews, So like there is Dave Matthews, Dave Matthews band.
Dave Matthews band. Is that it's just like a guy. But yeah, see, like I'm listening to it and I'm a huge fan.
So oh that was your playlist.
That's my those are my top played artists. So I'm just saying that's proof that people.
Are like you're actually fired, Jack Nickelback, David Nickelback.
What is it?
No but Nickelback. What is his first name?
Oh? I don't know.
Is it just Nickelback?
I mean just Nickelback is the name of the band?
Oh?
This, I've never heard any of this in my life.
And it's freaking me White people, It's like it's definitely like a white some white ship.
This is freaking me out, Like this, dude, No, there's too much. We are too connected. There's too much. There's actually, there is too much. There's too much of everything. There's too there's too many people. I'm going to do something about it.
Yeah, but it's.
Not the right answer, but I'm going to do something about it.
There's not there. None of these people are real.
Wait what are you saying? Yeah, what you're saying?
There's two I didn't do my media of the week. Okay, wait, let's get into it.
She's gonna do what she has to do.
Why By Carly Simone Simon.
Carl Carly Klass makes Music.
Nothing Can Stop Us by sat Etn, which I've said before, that whole album is just really good. It's like really good.
M hm.
Hmm. Long Hot Summer by The Style Console and Heat Wave by the Blue Nile.
And I can get you out of my head and yeah, then.
We saw Bodies, Bodies, Bodies. I saw Mary Me with Owen Wilson and j Low and you know what's fucked up? There was at least one writer on that movie that knew what they were talking about. That was like, actually good. But then that was a movie that, actually you want to see a movie that they didn't know how to end it. Watch that shit. They had absolutely no idea how to wrap that movie. Yep, they were like, we don't know where to go.
We got this far, what are we doing?
It was crazy.
I've been watching Junior Baking Show and it's a bunch of British kids that get together in a tin and bake and it's a competition show. And I watched an entire season in twenty four hours. Or I guess it's
not good. It's just like it's cute. I just like watching kids stress out and freak the fuck out, and some of them are really fucking good, like this one kid in the first because there's in one season there's like eight kids for five episodes and then eight kids for or nine kids and nine kids, and they split it into two competitions and then the final four of the first half in the final four of the second half compete in the last five episodes, so they like
get like the best of the best out of sixteen kids. But it's really quish.
I could bake. Should we get stuff to charge bake today?
I'm down? I want to do the AirPod max is uh l embroidery.
Maybe we wait until Josie leaves since he doesn't have them, and it's just's.
Just embarrassing too because he doesn't have them. So, wow, guy, do you have AirPod Max pros?
No?
I have the wired white ones.
Oh my god?
Wait like twenty.
Bucks, Oh my god. And they're the ones that need the dongle to go nine.
Yeah.
I have the dongle on me too, Okai, huh?
Get your brought up, like really like step it up?
All right? Well, my media of the week is the Bible.
Be real. Yeah, still, it's going to be real, bitch.
My media of the week is my burken bag. I like to consume it. It's beautiful.
I've been holding my ship for an hour. I'm gonna cut that bitch.
Very cool, but