Drew and Enya Want To Have A Baby

Disaster just struck.

Struck.

I think we have audio recording of it happening. No, I had stopped it when it had fallen. Yeah, because or like, did you get the fallen video?

No?

I didn't. I didn't get anything because I stopped it when you walked away, because I was like, oh, I'm gonna start it so we could clap. We just broke So okay, First of all, welcome to this episode of Emergency in a Column. Here's a few updates. One. I have a very bad sore throat. So if I seem a little more dim, it's because I'm literally I played Fortnite last night and I screamed a bunch of made it worse.

She's actively getting me sick, that's the thing, and she is freaking me out. But we're back in our set.

Wait back home, Home, sweet home, and disaster struck immediately, like.

Like I'm not joking, Like it was the most angering thing I've ever experienced in my entire life. Like it's actually insane that I didn't have a full blown, fucking meltdown. And then I'm able to sit in this chair five minutes after and perform because like that was so fucking annoying, Like just thinking about it is actually pissing me off.

So to clarify, we still have yet to buy a camera for this podcast, which was the first bad move. We've been using Josh's camera and Kai isn't here because he's in fucking Mexico.

Literally no idea why, Yeah.

I don't. I don't know why.

We texted him yesterday like we're gonna record a late episode this week, and he was like, oh, I didn't think we were doing an episode this week. I'm in Mexico City, which.

Is like god communication on every part, Like literally I like had a false flag that I might not make it for an episode and then like I just didn't communicate. Well whatever, besides the point, but the tripod like piece that holds the camera still is in Kai's book bag and we don't have another tripod piece, so I just like balanced it on the tripod, which is what it's doing right now, which is not what we should be doing.

Again, I put a pillow for it underneath it so if it falls again, it gets caught.

But basically Josh has two of the same camera because that's how he used to shoot his old videos on these cameras. And one of them felt literally face first right on the lens and like shook something out and we'll show you what that video looks like. Oh that actually you did get that video on fall, so you probably have audio of it. Because what happened was Drew Wett and hit record and like tip the camera over and it fuck.

Hit the phone. I'm used to the piece being on there, and I can man handle this tripad because it's a nice fucking tripod tad. It wasn't on there. So the two thousand dollars camera that's not ours just exploded into a million pieces. So now we're using Josh's second camera that we are also putting at risk, and on top of that, we have to buy him a new camera and just buy buy herselves to fucking camera so we

Now for the first time in her life is trying to get around the tripod and she never wants is in here when we're filming. But because I gave her some turkey and she smells the turkey that's on the counter, she's probably gonna knock this camera over literally, But all of that to say, we're very happy to be back home. I'm so happy to be back in my bed, to be back with a zool who loves me so much. Julia Fox is a genius.

We love Julia Fox. We were talking about Julia Fox all morning. Yeah, she's she's like my muse.

Like I guess I'm useless. That is me, though I literally am museless, Like I just figure it out myself.

I don't even know what amuses.

Amuse is like somebody who basically like drives the passion for your RT or like it's kind of like the inspiration. So like.

Myself is my muse.

No, your muse would be like Lady Gaga or Lana del Rey, you know other flipboyant.

Yeah, No, I amusedes those women when you literally addressed the way you are. Yeah, look, that's what That's what I've decided is I'm going white T shirt, blue jeans, pair of shoes, in a baseball cap, and that's my outfit for the rest of my life. I've worn this for four days in a row. I got out of this.

You have like a separate pair of this outfit or.

Jeans, but t shirts? Yes, what is.

Up with the theory that men think they don't have to wash their jeans.

You don't have to wash your gene.

That's just not true because they think, like.

Ship inside your jeans, you don't have to.

Watch it if you wear your genes.

Your every only person that thinks this, I don't wear these. I warn these every fucking day.

I'm gonna I'm gonna look this up.

You're not supposed to watch the denim because it fucks it up. It fucks up the fibers, it fucks up the color. It makes it so they like stretch out like it's literally that's like a known.

Thing me looking this up. Do women wash denim? Like, why do I feel like you're wise not to wash denim too often?

Yep?

I give my denim like four to five wears and then I wash them.

I know I'm my number four right now.

Okay. I know people who literally just like never wash their denam, yeah, and like don't even get it dry cleaned.

They're like, well, this is like I know people who put their denim in the freezer and freeze and kill all the bacteria. So then they take them out, balm out a little bit, and then put them on. They don't. They literally never washed their damn They put it in their freezer to kill it.

I bet that dnim looks better, but also I don't know if that's true, because my denim like literally like I buy vintage denim, so like it'll loosen up because it's already so fucking abused, so it'll loosen.

Up after a few use. It's been like torn up, turned shreds. Like it's super loose, like just being a slut my jeans.

Are you talking to me?

Oh?

Sorry? My stomach is literally shaking right now because on top of having sore throat, I was extremely constipated, and now my stomach randomly chooses went to ship and right before we started, I had to poop, but I held it, so I'm just making my stomach gros.

Yeah, I'm holding my shit actively right now too, because I was like, I was like running around before and I was like, I need to change my hat because they're gonna make fun of me for the hat that I was wearing because I wear it every fucking day. And then I was like I need to put on

But no, your socks are already previously dirty because you wear them outside like all the time.

Well, I just walk them to the front porch our.

The porches around our fucking home are somehow the dirtiest places on the on the planet. Like that balcony area of mine, if I put one toe on it, the bottom of my toe will have like seasoning for like the whole fucking meal.

It has like crumbs that get into your bed, and those are the sharp objects that cut you.

Dude, I fucking hate crumbs in my bed. But what we What was I just saying, Oh, yeah, jeans, I wash my jeans, and I know people who don't, and I find that very appalling, And like people who don't like take jackets to be dry clean Like, obviously I understand some jackets can't go in the washer, but you're not even taking them to the dry cleaner.

I'm not joking. I have never dry cleaned a single item of my clothes, but do you.

But that's a different though, do you have things that like cannot go in the.

Washer, I don't care. I wash them anyway.

Yeah, Okay, then that's a different story. I mean, like the people who are very like protective of their clothes and they're like, no, this can't go in the washer because it's gonna suck it up.

I'm I'm gonna Actually I have like a couple like like really vintage T shirts that like I don't want the graphic to crack, so I don't wash them as often, like I'll wear them two or three times.

No, But that's also like different. I'm basically what I'm saying is some of you but just stink. And it's not because you're taking care of your clothes. It's because you're not taking care of yourself. And we need to shift the narrative that you stink because you care about your clothes and rework it to the reality of the situation is that you don't care about yourself. Are the people around.

You and you're depressed and you're sad and you and you need they get on lexapro or well bututrin, the horny drug. If you get on well buttrin, you can also you'll have sex and perform. That's the good thing about well beutrid, but don't do it because there's also some very vicious side effects that can ruin your life. So just don't.

Oh my god, I have therapy on Saturday.

Boot, come on boo.

But what we were saying about Julia Fox was the way it started was I was giving turkey to a Zoola and Drew was like, oh, what did you say? I was a big a predator.

Oh, I was just like Hunter. A zul would be like the worst predator ever because he like screams at his prey before he eats it, Like he literally screams before he catches whatever he's about to eat. And then Josh was like, oh, if I had a baby, I would shake it. I have no idea where that came from, but he was like, oh yeah, I would like shake my baby. And I think he just misheard what we were saying. And then like I think he meant like he.

Was meaning like it's so crazy how babies you don't know what the fuck they want, like they just scream at you. And he was saying like I would literally be like what do you want? Like what do you want? Like tell me what you want.

Yeah, I just don't know how he got from me saying a Z it would be a bad predator to shake, I.

Would shake my baby. And then I was that for some reason led me to the idea. I was like, because I which I.

Would shake the fuck was.

I went literally out of love, out of like frustration, like I think I would shake a baby.

It was like an aggressive lover, like yeah, I like not even like well, I would get really frustrated because the way I reacted to that camera fallen I if that was a baby that had fallen out of I think there's.

This idea though that once it's your child's like, it changes. But also I used to like when I was younger, I remember I had I had this intense like fuck baby, so I fucking kick a baby. But now I find babies throwing a fit like so funny because listen to this baby on my pace is the.

Most insane thing I've actually ever heard in my entire life. And had I heard that I I I probably would have I would have been like, Okay, this is like.

I was like co cracking up. Wait where is it? Did you not say is it an emergency?

No?

I'll trust and believe all my audio messages save babe, don't send ship to my phone being saved.

Like in your and you has the receipts, she collects the receipts and she will use them against you. I'm about to go.

Into accounting because me and receipts were like this, and I oop and whoop and because the fuck is this area?

You're in a crackhead right now, You're such a crack head and hope and hope and op.

Lenny, I am not kidding. I recorded that. It said I felt so bad. Okay, So on my flight to Miami from New York, I was sitting next to this fucking calling her a baby. Is different though, because this bitch was walking, she was talking. She was saying, let me go, that is a baby.

Was a nine year old child or like that?

No, I'm not kidding. She was like five years old, which, yes, that's still a baby like me. I consider like at this age, like I genuinely consider like I consider like a fifteen year old baby because I'm like, that's like a baby because I have a baby sister who is almost around that age. You're a child, babe, No, but like and do you get what I'm saying. I'm like, that's still like somebody who's gonna make like who has so much to learn? And I like it's more in

So like like imagine like the person next to how pissed they are about that baby screaming or hypothetically like a screaming baby on a plane. Like I know everybody says this, but like imagine being the mother or father having to tind to this baby and like how embarrassed the.

Mom was so tapped out. It was actually a good that was like you know what, yeah, what is it? It's like default parent syndrome. I'm like, yes, it's not working here because the dad was the one like trying to take care of her and like grabbing her, and I think her brother was like holding her down because the whole thing was she didn't want to put her seatbelt on. She wanted to fucking be up and around while they were taking off, and she was She did that.

Well I have Apple AirPod Pro.

Max's what made it funny too, is I was watching the rehearsal like like when he starts doing the kids shit, and I was like, wow, how crazy. And then also the lady like I was in the ile, see the lady in the ile s behind me was fully watching my iPad because it was an American Airlines flight, so there was no TVs because it's the nineteen fucking thirties and we're literally flying.

On American Airlines just over dismissed their flight. Like, okay, you're done, I'm gonna put this on my IG story. Bitch.

They're like, don't fly Delta, fly down, Like girlhover, got that cheap flight. I am getting on it, Like what are you talking about? Don't fly Delta, don't fly.

Gim me Levado. I'm about to put this Airlines on the last on nine to eleven. I referenced that all the time. But it's like the really shit, how do we always talk about airplanes? We need to shut the fuck up. We never need to talk about flying again. It is not chill, like we always find a way to talk about it. Yes, we fly everywhere. We're fucking famous. I don't even know if I'm ambitious. I don't even know if I'm in New York, if I'm in Tokyo, Like, I just don't know.

Me And what's called CEO two?

Yeah?

Literally, but yeah, that was just funny and then like whatever, basically getting off the fly. Oh this just vibrated in my coup.

Yeah, hold on, put it back.

I'm gonna call you.

Oh my god, I just wanted to see something. Literally, it was it was in there. It was like between the fold a bit.

Wait, can you call me real? Quick.

I'm not calling you because you wanted to vibrate on your wiener. Oh can you call me?

Imagine your blowing up.

I know they're they're obsessed with me. They're obsessed with me. It's a Lisa and Chester. They're actually obsessed with me. And it's so like it's devastating and it's really upsetting.

Your flashes on in you and you turned your flash on.

Sorry, I fucking flashed bag to myself.

Oh wait, taking a picture or a video at a concert and the flash coming on is actually the most embarrassing thing. I audibly am like, oh my fucking god, I'm gonna fucking kill myself every single time it happens. And like at one point I just like owned it, like because I went to a stereo lab. Also I got paparazzi at stereo lab. It was like this really fucked up thing, like the exciting yet dum stale lab. I actually I just like I need my privacy and I.

Went to Every time you say that kind of stuff, it sounds like you like are like warranting, like the you want more.

I sat in the back of the venue to get away from all of the attention.

Or is that because that's the only ticket you could afford.

I just went to the back because I was trying to get away from the attention, and somehow I was still spotted.

At and like couldn't afford like them tickets.

And also it happened at the drain Gang concert as well, Like I was Papa Rozzi. There's videos of me there.

Yeah, it happened to me at Lady Gaga. She pointed me out and she was like you you fucking cunt. Oh, I know what you've said, and then she brought me on stage and she beat the fuck out of me, and then that's why they canceled the concert.

It was because that's why they canceled it.

Yeah, it was because the thunderstorms. It was because she told she was like, everybody, turn off your phone, like I'm gonna have security checking recently deleted, like we're gonna make sure no one has this own video. And she dragged me on stage and she beat the living ship out of me, which honestly.

Like that's like a dream.

Made me feel so good.

Yeah, and then liked every show is that like just.

Literally just me. She was like, it's our last show. We want to make it special. We're gonna beat the fuck out of this Miami native. We fucking hate her.

Oh my god.

Whole stadium roared, which that made me upset because I was like, does Miami not like me? Like I thought like I was doing something good for the city by like being a successful young woman, but no, apparently the city hates me and lady gotta.

Bab women in stem What are you looking for?

Bitch?

The video of me like turning on my flash and like dropping it down. I know I have like at least six, but I can't find them at the moment.

Yeah, I don't do that because I'm so paranoid about.

You can hear me in it, but yeah, that's that's that on that.

Oh god, I never even said what I was gonna say about Julia Fox. Basically, the reason I thought about her is because she made a stavement where she was like nobody who's ever. It was something along the lines of like no parent has ever like had a child and decided to be a bad parent. You don't know until you are the bad parent or whatever, And I was like, wow, like you really that that is so?

Her baby? Tris had her baby. I know, that's crazy.

It's so insane.

Literally, that's crazy.

I know. I not like not to comment on like people posting their babies because whatever we live in like a very digital world, like posting your baby crazy. But I was like, damn immediately that bitch, I still see the goo from your placenta.

Yeah, it's like because I'm supposed to fucking eat placina, Like that's I'm supposed to. I was supposed to get Tricia Pets's placenta.

Did she promise that to you?

Yes, she was gonna put it in the little capsules so I could eat them or break them open microst Yeah, I was gonna micro does Tricia Pays's placina, but it just fell through for some reason and just we like lost contact.

Well because have you ever thought she was busy.

Being a mother and not trying to the way why mother? He's a literally mother right now?

Wait?

She gave birth to cleanup Isabethcarnas cream cream? Wait? Is that Queen Elizabeth reincarnated? She kind of looks like it because she's just a cute as baby.

It is a really cute baby.

I just think all babies are cute.

Right now, here are my two? Like meme kind of saddest things. I made this one. This one is really bad and I know it.

And oh my shit, you're getting close, you.

Wish, bitch, mind you. I said this in the middle of my friend like opening up to me about a situation, and I go, you're not manic, You're a man.

Oh wait, it's kind of really fucking deep, Like Icky, yeah, is that what you man? You're not a man, you're a man. Wait was that you talking about me?

No, bitch, you fucking wish.

Because I literally was.

Jew said he's manic because he feels stoic and is observing his life.

And I'm like, oh, bitch, you left out so much shit. That was crazy. I feel really insane right now because and I came to the gradation example. I came to a conclusion that I'm not losing my brain, but rather I'm coming of age and my brain is finally developing, and like I'm actually now like I've been able to critically think for my entire life, but like now so much shit is just starting to make sense, and it's

His examples were like and ya, I've been feeling so man like.

For instance, I just like let me, let me explain my thought process because like language is one that I'm like do. I like literally was like, am I like being like delusions of grandeur? Like am I thinking I'm like the number one human? I haven't been like oh I'm better than everybody else, But there are moments where I'm like, I unlock the key to language. Like I was like looking at like Japanese, and I like it was like comparing it to you.

Yeah, when you phrase it like that, like yes, that is a bit delusion, yes, on like a delusion of grandeur like manic tip.

I was like, yeah, I am you lock the key to but I did, and like no one is viewing it this way, Okay. The reason why it's so hard for English people or English speaking people to learn like another language, say like Japanese, is because the characters don't look the same at all. So the you gotta like look at it from like a fresh perspective. You can't be comparing it to like English, because like if you're comparing, they just don't Yeah, like you.

Can't see the characters that make up the word like dog, and then be like, Okay, when I see this, I think of like the English phrase dog and like how it's written.

Yes exactly, So it's just like I'm about to learn a new language. And watch me, and he watched me.

See then I'm like, yeah, you are on a tip, but literally he was like, I don't know, I've just been like so stoic and like understanding, and I was like, this sounds.

Like the complete opposite of a manning person, which should have been a red.

Flag that he is maybe not like you are.

Being those things, but I don't know, like I don't know how to explain.

It, like you being like I just feel so like I don't know I'm viewing people as people.

And I was like, which I did not, but like I.

Can't remember exactly what you're saying, grants. And I was watching South Park and eating talk about while he was talking to me, So I was like.

It's crazy that, Like I opened up to India and she on the outside was like like presenting this and like having like a genuine conversation with me, but on the inside she was laughing at me the entire time. And that's why I don't open up. I'm never opening up at least people fake.

No, fake, you weren't making poorts. I was like yeah, yeah, and then because I do understand, Like I remember when I was like turning twenty two, I had a moment

No, that's like yeah, fully, I fully that's literally what I'm going through. And it's literally just my brain is like finally developed.

Yeah, it is fully just like actually.

Insane that I'm only sixteen in my brain is like almost.

That's what I'm saying. When you were like, oh, I'm like he said, he said coming of age, and I was like, I know this motherfucker's turning twenty five. I'm not sorrying about.

Coming of age, no wa, coming of brain and coming.

I will say I do think true coming of age is in your mid twenties. Yeah, like in your early twenties. I truly do think, like twenty to twenty five that is the.

True that's when you find out who you really fucking are, like truly because like you're sixteen, like going on to college like no, like you and every other person, yeah, like you.

But I do think it is a big like, oh well, it's huge. But I'm like, the true coming of age is.

Just all I'm saying is you just got so much crazy shit coming for you. Like you should be terrified literally be scared of your mid twenties because like I actually, oh, I've always been like super existential and like nihilistic. But that's the other thing is I've had like a less

Say, as you get older, talking shit becomes less fun because and they're like, okay, fine, this person is a person and they have their own struggle.

Except for that one person. Oh yeah, except for that one. Literally never did you say the picture this morning?

Yeah, He's like, I've had a moment with this photo.

I literally did. I sat there and stared at it, and I was like, this is a lost person. This is a person.

What's crazy is when you see like it mix with your reality because it's like, what is happening, Lily.

Leave me the alone, Get out of my head.

I'm crazy, but I'm a crackhead. Oh my god.

Okay.

The other one was he's not a bad boyfriend, he just has ADHD and his hyperfixation right now is other bitches me. Trying to write that down was so difficult.

I think I said this and you already said this.

Whatever. Fuck y'all. I'm like so topped out, like I can't this day. Quill is hitting.

Crazy, literally hitting.

I literally had to shove a turkey sandwich down my fucking throat so I can.

I have a turkey sandwich between my fucking legs. This is my realization all girls have to do to get a man is be mean to straight boys. Really, that's it. I'm not joking. I've come to that realization. If you really want to date someone, just be mean to the man because all straight boys have mommy issues and they need like this figure. Granted, like it probably won't last, but like use your power.

Yeah, because then you end up being their mom exactly. That lady is gonna tell me to put yodurn on.

Yeah. So just like all you have to do, I mean, even if you're in a relationship now, just be mean, like to your partner, like and see.

What that sounds like?

Really bad advice though, No, just like be mean.

Sometimes I find myself being really mean and I can it's not myself, and then I realized it's because I need to go to therapy. She thinks I have turkey. Let's do she'll get up no much pee peeky.

Okay, this is something that I've been holding off and I actually cannot believe that I haven't talked about it yet. But okay, so you know Taylor Swift, she got her new album coming out, Okay tell Me Why. One of her first big songs, she wrote about me, teardrops on my guitar, that was written about me. Drew looks at me. I fake a smile so he won't see.

No, it's I think it's He looks at me.

I think it's true.

Are you making that up?

Because it's it's very real. She wrote it about me, because do you.

Have the faith that you fucking photoshopped?

Like I'm googling it right now. But the thing, the fucking thing of it all teardrops on my guitar. Drew looks at me.

The oh wait is that actually?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying is I didn't tell anybody about this, but me and Taylor had a thing really early on Wait.

Wait say wait wait wait wait wait wait.

Wait a minutes outside.

What year did this song come out? Because now this is getting weird.

Don't ask questions.

She's about ten years older than you, which wouldn't be weird.

Now. I was groomed by Taylor Swift. Oh there I said it. There, I said it, No, okay, I was I went to call it. I went to high school.

I was like a bury for some reason, Like what do I feel like this? Get take that?

That was a joke that was a joke. That was a joke. But I had a couple months stint in like twenty minutes outside. I went to high school outside of Tennessee.

Like now I didn't know that.

Yeah, and me and Taylor, like we went to the same high school. Like it was. It was a really intense time for me. And then I just had to leave. I was like, Mom and Dad, I need to come back home. And they let me come back, thankfully.

But you didn't tell them why.

I was just a really advanced gifted student. So like, oh, I jumped like at the age of eleven.

Wait, so this was only five years ago.

Yeah, I was a freshman in high school and twenty whatever.

Two thousand and six, two thousand and like eight or whatever that was. Wait, your timeline really confuses me because if you're sixteen, now, how were you eleven?

Then I was three or four? But I, like I said, I was very advanced and gifted. Oh so I got to go to high school and.

So this is your life. But this is what you've decided to do. That's actually very humble.

I graduated from Harvard at the age of eight.

Oh my god. Remember when we thought to me, thick was a Harvard Experience experiment, like everybody was convinced so literally, I have to poop so bad, but I'll hold the See that's the thing about me is like a lot of baby Let's go. What do you mean, let's go, let's help you. I don't need help pooping, Drew.

I can press on it.

You can pass on my belly.

I can press on your belly to help you get it out. I thought, do you need me to talk to your belly? Do you need me to do you actually know?

Because it's going to freak me out to not talk to her. No, you're looking down at it.

Stop it. Stop hutting my girlfriend.

Stop it right now.

Stop hutting my girlfriend.

My stomach knows you're not my fucking boyfriend, and you're making it more upset.

You need to stop needing to poop right now? Does that feel I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him. Can you get him?

Oh my god, No, he won't let me get him because he doesn't want me. He wants to.

Oh you got him? Hold on, I need to get him.

I mean, yeah, this is this is what.

He sucks. Bob is given Jimmy, Oh, do you have anything to say, say something. Oh, oh my god, bastard bit held. Yeah, he's trying to be a nepotism baby so fucking bad. It's embarrassing.

Yeah, but there can only be one.

I'm gonna make a zoo him. No, I'm gonna make him an Instagram.

The thing is this Zottle would pop off on Instagram like it would be too easy, like she's too gorgeous. He actually just scratched the living fuck ont of me. See when he does stuff like that, that's a boy. Like that is literally a boy. That's a boy.

Every time I see him, I want to like pinch his ears.

She's a girl when she's pretty and nice, and when he's fucking mean, he's a fucking boy.

Yeah, you're not a girl, bitch. I came home. I had just been gifted my brand new tech douvet cover, and I got home from New York. I put the duvet cover on after I washed it. I actually washed it before I put it on my bed.

I wondering because I washed mine when I was washing my arm.

Was like, I know, Jordan, No, I actually watched it because I was like, I've been made up fun of too much for this and I don't want to be made fun of it and I want to have ammunition. So I washed it, put it on my bed, and then I got extreme fomo fear of being left out, and like the.

Next thing, it's actually fear of missing out.

I flew to New York City Baby for fashion week, and I had intentionally shut my door. I didn't bolt it because I was like, Azul, can't open my door. I came home and when I got into my room, meaning what you think, I saw vomit all over my bed. Azul had vomited all over my brand new fucking Techla duvet cover. And I was so pissed. Literally, this is giving, Like came there people literally dying right now, Like shut the fuck up, like talking about her diamond earie, talking.

About your gifted Techla sheets getting vomited on by my cat.

But he only throws up in my room. He eats my plants. All Azul does for me because he eats my plants and throws up on my flooria bed. That's all he's ever given me.

No, he loves you and he sleeps with you all the time.

Yeah, when you're not here.

See when he's not giving me love that's a boy because when I'm see I turned my back on this boy and he goes and find.

Someone else to love him.

But then when I'm here, she follows me and she loves me, and she's so sweet and she girl.

Sometimes it zool, really does get cute, but like most of the time, it's awful.

She needs those nails cut because that actually hurts so bad.

Like a blacks on the ground, like he lily like clacks.

Well, it's good because you know when he's coming. Mm, you're so annoying. Hey guys, sorry, I'm just getting so many texts.

Let's talk about Finsta. Have you ever talked about Finsta? Oh my god, I'm.

Sorry, I just got really bad news.

Good.

Have we talked about Finsta? I think lightly, Like I don't know if Finsta is that as popular because I don't know.

If oh it's not. Finsta died in twenty nineteen. Yeah, that's what I have written down. Was like sixteen to twenty nineteen. Finsta was like top tier was one of the greatest Internet moments of all time. Like being able to stalk people that you met once at like a convention, like or like having the most random like famous person mutual and like seeing them post their fucking tits on their like finstas and like I got a new nipple piercing like or like.

I've seen everybody's nipples.

Yeah, everybody had their nipples out. Everybody was crying their eyes out on finsta like walls of texts, like it was. It was such a great moment in time, and like I I got to like like keep up with like people that I met literally once, and I got to know their entire life. Like it actually made me close to complete strangers. Like if you think parasocial relationships are bad to the public, like parasocial relationships on Finsta were on another level. Like it was crazy.

But the good thing about that was is because we were all so young and we were incapable of communicating like how we felt to each other, that was where you could do it in like a public setting and kind of use the Internet in the way that like you felt like you couldn't on the outside because you were busy building like this like whole Internet situation and like being a public figure, you got to do it on finstas and open up and it felt like opening

Yeah.

So then like, because literally there are people who like I've followed on finn stuff for so long and have really never had a serious or real conversation with in real life. But when people ask about them, who like haven't known me for a long time, and they're like, oh, like do you know so, and so I'm like, oh, yeah, we like used to be really close. That's a lie.

But death to fen fence to rest in peace. I still use mine, but it's more of just like a memory bank of Yeah.

It's just like photo dump, which is funny because I don't like actually that's why I do look through my fence staff. But even mentioning finstas, I get really scared that like y'all will find mine and then like try to fucking like destroy.

My They they have found my Fensta in my mime account and I have like eight thousand follower requests on both. It's like really gnarly.

I literally just like I just don't even use it in like a super crazy way anymore. I used to go on emotional tangents, but I was never even like very open about anything happening in my life, So all my emotional rants are very blanket statement and then about like the man who was like grooming me boo and mean me being like, oh my god, I fucking hate him, like he's.

Literally ignoring me, boring boo old news.

But yeah, recipes of fin stuff, I feel like people use like close friends on TikTok now, but I just like I don't.

I'm like not, oh I do. I do use it, but it's not even like.

Yeah, it's the way you use your fin stuff but with like music.

But also like I'm a grown ass man now, like I don't need to be doing that online.

Yeah, it's just different. It's I think that's also why it died is because like by twenty nineteen, literally everybody we knew and everyone around our age was like now in their twenties, So I was like, yeah, I don't need to be like posting. I think even by like twenty eighteen. Like twenty eighteen was the real death of it. It was like by the time we are all like entering our twenties, I was like, all right, yeah, this is like so dead.

It's all these synapses and brain connections created that. Like I just like, I just feel different, you know.

Yeah, I forgot to put an earrings.

I feel better. Yeah. Oh I noticed something was really ugly about you, and it's because you have your earrings.

And that makes me feel so awful because I feel very insecure without my earrings.

Well, it's something you can change in five minutes, so just do it.

What if I told you I don't have any fucking earrings in the house because they all got stolen. If my jewelry got stolen, that would be the end for me. That would actually be like of everything in my room. If because a bunch of my jewelry is like given to me either by like family or like friends or.

Lovers, damn lovers left on repeat? What is that? Actually? What is that? Oh? Lord?

Yeah it is Oh I thought.

I fucking saw green Light live. I saw Green Light live. I saw it live, and it was I'm not trying to make you jealous. I really am not, but like I have to vocalize this. That was genuinely I've never you know, how you have to.

See her live like together you me and a Ryan. That's why I was. I was me trying to explain that to my dad because Devin posted a clip of her and her friends dancing to ribs and I literally closed up and I outlag of hell though, yeah no, and my dad was like what happened? And I was like trying to explain to him, and then I showed him Royals because I was like trying to explain who Lord was. He was like, oh, I remember this song. I was like, she was big, you get it.

Yeah, But you know how you reacted to Harry Styles at Coachutla, Like how you're like, I don't really care that much, but then he got on stage and you lost your fucking mind and like the stands. I'm not kidding when I heard her singing green Lights because I wasn't. We were at the Mitski stage because we had just seen Mitzki chilling and when I yes, I saw Mitzki's well live and she was fucking incredible. It was like

The only place she's playing next is a fucking festival.

I'm done with festivals.

It's a fessel in put in Columbia. What's MD? What? What state is that?

Maryland?

Maryland?

Is that Maryland?

Yeah?

What the hell? Oh my god?

See her October first.

Let's just tell much. Should we go?

Yes?

No?

But there we can't go without Orion. Well Lord ever tour again. Rd's currently touring across Oh bitch. I think she's going on like a full, full tour after this though, because it's a twenty twenty three Okay, we'll.

See her, yeah, we'll see it, it'll happen.

I can't believe this that I'm gonna I don't want to say it. I'll talk about it when it happens. Who else I'm gonna see? But I like.

Need wait whisper it. Oh yeah, that's a major fucking moment, major.

Keeling, not like actually like freaking the funk out because I need to see Lord Lord, Our Lord and save y'all. This bitch is going to I guess we have to go to Oh, we just have to go to New Zealand for your birthday.

Let's just I'm actually fucking down there. I have a hose in New Zealand.

Really, we're not going because I wanted to go and like it to just be us and like have like a sweet like romantic trip and like you're talking about, like the other people you have.

I think one of my hoes got a partner though.

Damn sad day, which just fu you have to do like the BOYD check in where you're like, it looks like you're very happy right now. I love to see it.

Like thinking of happy Bird.

You seem so happy. I hope you have a good one today.

Happy birthday. Do you remember what we.

Had, I'm sending a swat team to your house.

I'm like, I'm like not even jealous. I'm just like now what, like now what, I gotta find another New Zealand Bay.

You'll find it. I was looking at you an airwon yesterday and I was like trying to put my mindset and like somebody who found like just like ran to men I saw attractive and I like was looking at you from across and I was like, Drew is very attractive. And I was like I understand why people like will see him and be like, oh my god. And then I was like damn, like do people think that about me? And I was like not in La, because I was like in.

La, I swear to God, and yet I think you're like hot as fuck. And I'm not just saying that because you said that to me, but I genuine I genuinely believe that. So there's like I was watching, like something came up on my TikTok feed or Instagram feeding and it was like an edit of like all your like sexy moments and I was like, this bitch is hot, Like you're hot, thank you, I swear to God.

But I was like in La I'm like definitely in LA, like actually three the transplant LA. Yeah, I know, to transplant l A, I'm in LA three. But to real real LA, honestly, I think I'm like a seven or eight like real like to La LA, I think I'm like a seven or eight. But to the business I'm in, bitch, I'm a three. I'm like so disposable to these fucking.

Bitch I'm like off the charts and not in a good week.

I mean me, like, we're not transplants.

I'm like free, I'm off the charts and like but not because I'm like sexy off the charts, Like I'm just like a different kind of cute, you know what I mean.

That's how I feel to like transplat LA. I'm like, I'm just like in a different realm, like.

Realistically, like I'm a solid for like actually like on like a real note, I think I'm like a solid for But like girl, bitch is.

That's just not true because I have seen some very questionable men get play.

Like, oh it's not a question of getting played. Oh yeah, I tear shit. Uh you don't.

You don't get play, you're on replay, Yeah, because you get fucking ran through. People are so.

Many notes that I was like, I'm so excited to talk about this, and I haven't talked about any of them because like I'm not kidding, I have, like I showed it.

I can't believe Drew it is like so good at writing down things he thinks of, and then like I'm always like I'm gonna talk about on the podcasts and I don't write it down and then I forgot. Oh well you saw Lord. I saw Lady Gaga and it was genuinely like I was actually in awe and like I did feel extremely guilty for going without Drew, but I just had to see her like I had.

Felt that way, but I did. I did.

I swear to God I did, and I like kept saying it to everybody I was with. I was like, dude, like I feel.

Like it was something I said that made you feel.

No, I felt guilty because I was like, dude, this is like I was like for my straight bustie, like this would have been amazing to to introduce him to something like this. No, but literally, because like all I can think about is like you copying Lady Gaga's sunglasses when you were a kid.

It's it would have been a very big moment. Yeah, and then I can't see her because I got back to LA and then left LA again.

So you know what Joseiah said. Josie was like, oh, I didn't go because I fully forgotten. I was like, how do you forget?

That's actually insane because she did you just live home? No? She did? She do poker face?

Yeah, you want to see one of the graphics.

Yeah, dude, you get merch.

Oh, yes, I'm trying to.

I'm making it a new thing. Every concert that I go to, within reason, I buy like a T shirt or something I.

Literally reasonable or not. I'm like, where's the march because.

I'm just like, dude, this is such a cute moment. And so now I have like a collection of like five or six shirts from the last year of just like merch from a show and like the graphics.

That was a show. I'm not kidding. I have not been to like a performance like that, Like she like this bitch like busted her ass, but like look at the.

She wearing a piano.

Yeah, like this graphic is just so cool.

She's got me like, nobody stop fa dude.

It was like, so look how good she looks in this.

Oh my god. I was like, I need to go bleach my eyebrows there, like you should bleach your eyebrows.

I know, but I have like an egotistical, crazy, individualistic ego.

That everybody else has done it, you don't want to do it, and I can't.

I can't, I can't. But yeah, she is like so so good, like genuinely I think.

The best performer, not that I have so lucky to have any in my life.

You just wrote that, so why what the fuck is wrong with you?

I actually said, what if I.

Did, I would be like, okay.

No, I actually didn't just write it, but it's very real. I just saw it of like a edit of us like holding hands and just shit like that, and I was like, damn, it's so good what we have.

I know, it is insane, Like I don't know when I see like I know people who are like old as bones and they talk about like, oh, I've had these friendships.

Like friendships come and go, but yeah.

Says who you fucking like.

Sad because you fucking suck balls.

That's why people who are like friendships come and go when they like describe a life time where they've had like a million friends and none have stayed.

I'm like, just be a good person and surround yourself.

So you're like, literally an issue is what you're telling me right now, because.

Like I think maybe it's not like friendships come and go like where you like completely lose I mean no, like I think they mean like losing contact completely. But I'm like, there's gonna be a time in our lives when like we don't see each other.

For me, we don't have as much comp yeah.

But like we're gonna go get a cabinet, big bear with the whole squad when we're forty eight, ye, and it's still going to be a key me.

Like, I genuinely I just cannot picture a life without the front group we have, without that core group that we like kind of started in LA with. Like I genuinely cannot imagine a life without.

Josh Orian Lucas Christian me.

You, Yeah, I like cannot imagine a life without that because it's just literally like.

It's like family. It's yeah, my brain is literally.

Like that's the foundation of like my fucking like first emotional connections. Like I just can't see that being dismissed in any way and even when we go long periods of time without seeing each other, even if it's just a month. Like when I saw Josh Goes today, I genuinely was so happy to see him, and I was like, oh my god, I think I will feel like this forever about these people.

When Lucas is like taking a break and he's just back in OC and then he comes around, it's like it literally is like so exciting for him. Yeah, and like, I don't think that feeling, like you said, is ever gonna fit.

It's just like, why do I need to see Josie?

When I just I was just about to say, we've.

Been playing Fortnite, and he does this stupid ash Irish act.

Irish play with him. He won't play with me.

Really, Oh, I was like what the fuck? And then I remembered you said you were playing with him and you were like, this fucking sucks. But he literally there's this fucking stupid ash Irish accent which I can't do. But he's like, oh no, they're shooting me. It's like he does this really annoying accent, like his impersonation of

I know, I'm literally gonna.

He's not here because I held him hostage in the house and had him take care of Azul while I was gone. That's why he's not fucking here. It's a girl. I never want to be in that house again. But yeah, I like love our friends so much, like Orian needs to come back, like, yeah.

I haven't seen yeah when I see.

When I see her in like another state, it's just not the same because I'm like, we're always around people, like this isn't our like home, but like when we have a key at home, it is just so different.

We need that on that podcast so bad.

I know, someone actually stops me and a Ryan in New York, who was like, where is the episode with a Ryan? And I was, I just keep saying, we want to do something, we want to do something spectacular. We need to we do need to plan it before we leave. So I'll get on that today and figure it out.

But yeah, we didn't talk about but some fucking stinky demon crat tried to associate me with the liberals and put my audio over a clip of Joe Biden, your honor, Your honor.

I'm saying, I'm not kidding. I genuinely feel.

Like that should be like I should be compe, give me money, give me money.

Why does that like, like genuinely, why do I feel like that is now skewing the lines because I feel like any time, but I think that even that's the thing about TikTok. I don't know how I'm trying to ward this, but like, what's happening that now like companies and like politicians and shit, Yeah, can now just like without getting permission use this person's like livelihood and like likeness to it is fully to like bring in a

Like it's so weird, it's creepy. And I think like a majority of the people watching this know and also think it's fucking whack. But there are just some minds that like hear the words sleigh and like are like, oh my god, like, I like, I'm not saying like that people.

It's hard to like imagine JFK saying Sleigh.

I would be like, bitch, that's why he got Oh. But yeah, Joe Biden used your on right way, Joe used Joe Budden.

I cannot say that the saying Joe Budden.

Budden, buddy, Joe Joe Pudding. But yeah, I saw that and like it. Actually, my knee jerk reaction was like, oh, this is cool. But then I thought about it and I was like, this is weird. He's like very obviously.

Like his team is just like, yeah, we're going to get the young people to like.

Come to register and vote. And I was just like, Okay, weird, but still a funny moment which the truth has spread so far. Just wait, just wait until the sleeper cells are activated.

What does that mean?

Well, in the middle of the night two nights ago, I was asleep before you had gotten home, and it was probably like one am. I had been asleep for a couple hours and me and a Zula are laying in bed and he snuggled up against my back and I like, am all of a sudden, like like I hear this like loud fucking explosion and I open lights or open my eyes and lights are flashing in my room and I'm like I like immediately I'm like, oh my god, the house just exploded, Like what the fuck

Do you think you would like go to save a Zul if like I wasn't here, that makes me happy.

I like, as much as I hate him, I love him, but.

That is insane. What does that cause by is that just like your brain's kind of like on overdrive.

And then like I haven't, I really haven't. I didn't even research it because I'm like, oh, I have like a giant brain humor or something, and I cannot read about it. So I just kind of out of sight, out of mind. But it's something that I've had happened to me, like for like the last six or seven years. Like I'll have like really gnarly auditory hallucinations, like not in a schizo way, but like in like a just

And it's just like, well, you know what I think about when I go to sleep. I try to for the past few nights, as I laid my head to rest, I try to imagine a game of Fortnite, and I try to like convince my brain to make a new game. Like does that make sense? Like I try to convince my brain to start up a game, and like try to imagine a game I've never played. So basically, like you know, every game you play is different, Like even if you land the same place, as you go into

You are actually insane and you really you need clinical help, Like you cannot be thinking about Fortnite.

That no, okay, because you know how like you can think, Like basically here's where I came from. I was like to fall asleep. I can think of like different scenarios with people, and I can like make up different conversations or whatever. But why can my brain not come up with like a different set of gameplay? Is it because it is like so humane that like it is not real or based in reality, So like I just can't come up with like a new generated like gameplay in

I think it's because you have a tumor in your brain.

Oh so it's blocking, Like the tumor is like in the past, what I always I always land on my tree and then once I get into rocky reels, I just start going.

Into I think it's just like you need to play more video games, Like I think that's what it air like more like Battle Royale games like try The reason I think like I'm kind of good at Fortnite is because of Call of Duty and it's just a completely different play style. So I like, bring that into.

It, and but I can't get Balenciaga's skin and color.

Dude, I know it's really really not really. Also, Balenciaga, can you fucking work with us already? Like damn, Like, actually, you only get.

What you want in life when you beg.

Yeah, please, when.

You beg and pay for your spot.

That's actually I think that is something that could happen. It's a collaboration with Valenciaga, and I want it so bad. Everybody go comment on Balenciaga's ig post.

Please do not do that, because no, please do not do that because that always drives me crazy and I would have a lot of shame. I just like the problem with me is like I don't want to ask for things. I just want them to happen, and then it never happens. And I'm like, oh, but please do not comment that because I want that, and like I will actually freak out, Like I will freak out. We were saying, wait was it? This is so crazy. I want something on offer up, but I don't.

Want to pay for it.

So I go to Druid. I'm like, okay, because it is it is the price that's being like put on it is like it doesn't need to be that price, it really is. It's just because like the market for is like expanding, So whatever classic tax, the fuck off popularity tax. But I told Drew, I was like, hey, go offer this amount, and then I'll tell Ryan to offer this amount, and then I'll throw an extra fifty

I was like, how about we all we I post the link on my story and I'm like, everybody go offer three hundred dollars to this person for this. So she convinces herself that it's like if a thousand people are like this is worth three hundred dollars not six fifty, like she's gonna start thinking it. And then I'm like, and you and then you come in and offer her like three point fifty four hundred yeah, and I'm.

Like, I'm giving you a bank.

For your you're one hundred more dollars and me as your.

South there talked about it and I was like, we literally she would she would get a restraining order on me because she'd be like, this woman is bullying me. She's cyberbullyeing me for something I'm selling you doesn't want to pay for.

Isn't real. Just close your iPhone?

What's the tyler? It's like a tyler thing that it's like close your laptop or turn.

Off your phone, lock your phone or something. It's like, that's ironically like, so some of the best information I could have gotten as like a sixteen year old, Like however old, I was like, fully like change the trajectory of like my life online forever. I'm like, oh, this isn't real. None of this is real. So it's whatever perspective. But should we tappeno media?

Yeah, because my stomach is like you know, when I was like, oh, someone texted me bad news my phone. I did get a text, but it wasn't my notifications are off. It's actually my stomach is like my ass is vibrating, and I keep thinking it's my phone.

It's literally to go download Modern Warfare two beta on my computer, which is gonna take all fucking day.

But I don't. I think think my hair looks good today or like really bad. I think it looks like really bad. I hate that I had to keep cutting my hair, but now it's really healthy.

Oh my god.

Also, I thought my hair couldn't curl anymore, Like I genuinely thought it couldn't. And like the way how curly it gets now when it dries air dry is like actually insane. Charlie Demillio and Dixie Damilia are literally on my fucking timeline.

Oh damn, they knew iPhone.

Charlie just hacked my fucking iPhone.

You're getting hacked right now. What is that? I don't know screen record it?

Oh my god, Oh my god.

But while Enya's dealing with her hacking, I went to the Stereo Lab concert. So obviously I've been listening to a lot of Stereo Lab, but that concert like was maybe one of the best things I've ever witnessed in person. Like concert wise, like I would close my eyes in the middle of some songs and actually have like a borderline hallucinogenic trip. Like I would close my eyes and I like would feel like like the warm feeling of like a percocet.

In it, like when we went to Monday Evening concert.

Almost yeah, yeah, exactly, Like I would like you would close your eyes and like you would be like elevated, and I was like, dude, I fully understand why like hippie era existed, like and like that style of music, and like psychedelic music exists because like it fully like at moments I really thought like I was actually having like in a like a hallucinogenic like moment. And then so stereolab for music. And then on top of that, I went to, oh, also, I've been listening to American Football.

All at once I heard that whispering is actually worse for your throat than be screaming.

But yeah, that's my media.

I I know I'm gonna get attacked for this. I swear by the next episode I will have watched both, but I never got around to watching X, so I haven't see Pearl and Listen. When I was younger, we used to get these things before a movie started. That was like, if you sell this legally or if you record it, you will go to fucking jail. Apparently we need these things for y'all. Yeah, because why on my timeline.

No, I fully know what you mean, Like, how are am I I'm actually how am I actually able to watch an entire movie on TikTok? Yeah when that just came out, Like I've seen like like four or five clips of Pearl on my time.

I'm not saying that movie should be more shouldn't be more accessible because yes, movie dot piff whatever the fuck dot com like all those.

Sides, Oh tap the fucking sir.

Not on TikTok. I'm here to see pretty girls, funny jokes, and fun makeup, not to have an experienced ruined for me.

My fa me and my timeline has been all fashion recently.

Yeah, mine has been a lot of fashion.

Which is weird. Watch It's I just like watching like hot girls walk. That's why I like look at the fashion videos. You know.

It makes me feel really good when all these fashion accounts that are posting all the shows follow me, because I'm like, maybe maybe in little ways I do get recognized, But I will watch acts. Maybe I'll watch it tonight. I keep being like, I'll watch it tonight, I watch it tonight. But I got Fortnite at home, so I just need to watch it though, if not tonight tomorrow night. But I got invited something to Moon Night. But whatever, I'm rambling what.

Like this?

Wait, I'll sorry because I don't want to say it out loud, which you're welcome to coming to. But you get the vibes just based off this.

Oh is it just Lisa? Yeah? They invited me to that last week.

Okay, So here is my media. Luna by the Smashing Pumpkins, fell in Love Candy Claus, Eucalyptus, MF Dube, the one herold Bud song that I'm not allowed to say, but it randomly. I was in this hotel room I stayed at nine Orchard, remember it, And they have these like channels that like play automatic playlists and tell me why I was going to put this on an ig story of mine, and the exact moment I put it on, it started on the speakers and I just felt very like wow, like life is so crazy. Wish from the

One time. I begged every one of our friends to like watch that movie on our projector like, I literally begged. I was like, please, guys, I swear to god, it's so fucking good. It's like one of my favorite childhood movies of all time. And I fought and fought and fought, and that finally everybody was like, sure, whatever, shut the fuck up, will put it on. And then I fell asleep in like five minutes after it came on. But I think everybody finished it. I think everybody liked it.

I might have tapped out. It only has two point three.

It's a masterpiece.

I well because of that, I get five stars and liked it, and I said, so good. I was looking at my reviews and I'm like, I'm the worst person ever on Letterbox, but I don't care. I literally use it to try what I want to watch. Yeah, but yeah, I will watch X. I will watch Pearl because that's my twin. Like I have to go.

Support my girl.

That is so flattering that people think I look like her because she is gorgeous. But people just think that because I think we have like similar eyes, but no, she has blue eyes, right.

Or my tripping y'all look the same. Y'all look like seventy of five percent the same, like bleach your eyebrows and like I could if you put you and her next to each other.

Don't if you put very blurry photos next together.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, Well, I'm gonna go and poop. Thank you guys so much for tapping in. I'm so happy to be back at home, back at home base. What will you guys do when we get a new set? Will you hate us? Will you leave us?

Because what if we were thinking about doing that? Let us know what you think.

Yeah, keep us, keep us posted, but just know, at the end of the day, we will do what we want and you need to come back because guess what, our livelihood depends on it. So keep that in mind. Keep that in mind. If you care about us, if you actually fucking cared.

About it, if you wanted to fucking starve.

If you fucking care about our life, you eat, Like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I'm hungry.

Now go watch our last episode three more times.

I need to pay my rent.

Motherfucker.

All right, thank you guys so much.

Thank you.

Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you, love you. Bye bye.

Mm hmmm