Drake Took Me Backstage

Welcome back to this stuff. Such a marsine to come.

This is.

It's the holidays. Drew just can't do the holidays because he's.

I've lost so many it's not the same. It's a ghost town now, it's a ghost town at my house.

Now, you fumbling with that damn hat.

I got these hats and I didn't try them on, and literally the like white rim of the Santa hat is so fucking thick.

The worst Sana hat I've ever fucking used in my life. You know.

But you should be fucking grateful because I'm just snap the ship out of you.

I didn't say I wasn't grateful. I just said it's the worst.

That's like that anyway.

Hello, it's been a few days since we filmed and we've recharged.

Yeah, we're ready to go.

Sorry about the last episode, I'm not sorry. Well no, I was just saying on my behalf because I spoke a total of three minutes.

You know what it is sometimes you don't speak nearly as much as me, and then I think people think that I just like am over speaking, but I always am over speaking also, so it doesn't matter. That's like my personality is like being the person who shares the most words in the room and says the most nhing.

You shouldn't apologize for that.

Actually I should. It's really like annoying.

Well, I do the same thing.

That's why I'm saying, Okay, hopping right in. Should we start like where we've what we've done the past few days, or should we speak on.

The soup debate?

Let's talk about how our life is a fucking movie.

Okay? Where do we start? Though, Like, like it's and it's a long movie.

It's a goddamn movie.

We it's like, honestly an excruciatingly long movie.

It's it's ten out of ten review it on letterboxed movie material.

Yeah, y'all should probably just put our life on there.

Yeah, if that's possible, are okay?

Yeah?

It a cough. It was like a light one. It was like a little light tackle. And I didn't want to like cough all the way, so I just like let out a little one.

So first off, we saw Drake and Kanye live.

It was fucking Kanye was fucking awesome. Kanye was awesome.

All I could think about is during the Donda CLB debate we had earlier when that album came out and how it was like, I was like, Drake is just the best, just the best, maybe just not live.

Yeah, that was that was pitiful Drake's performance. But I don't think after after I was like, oh, like Drake flopped. That was embarrassing. I think Kanye did him dirty blah blah blah. Like I when I watched it, I was like, oh, or when it was happening, I was like Kanye literally told him no, like you do your like five little new songs. Have the whole crowd fucking lit like it'll be awesome. And then Kanye was like, I'll do my old classics.

No one will give a shit.

I'm an old fart, no one cares anyways, which, like the classics were like so fucking crazy. Everybody was turned up. It was awesome. And then Drake did his like little five songs from CLB and it was the worst thing I've ever seen live.

In mind, it felt like he performed for a total of three minutes.

Yeah, it was awful.

I will say, like, what's funny is I bought my ticket.

Literally like four hours before, like five hours before the concert, because Drew and Kai had already decided like the day before they were going, and I was just like, I.

Don't know, because all I could think about is I don't.

Give a fuck about Donda, Like the only song on there that I give a fuck about is Life of the Party. And I was like, I would rather actually keel over and die right now than be tortured by being in a stadium and hearing that album live, Like I would actually like that is.

Torture for me.

On the way there, I was like, this is gonna be the worst fucking experience of my life. Like I can't believe I did this.

I'm so and we spent and also I don't want it to seem like we like went for free. We like spent a lot of way too much money.

On taking a lot of money. But I justified it because I was like, oh, it's Drake and Kanye, two of the biggest artists in the world.

Like it yeah, no, it makes fun sense. Like when I saw Drake and twenty sixteen, I think that ticket alone was like one hundred and seventy dollars, Like it was not cheap, even like in twenty sixteen to see him so like for two.

Of them, like it made sense. It's like double that price.

So it made sense, but I was just like, I don't want to spend like fucking three hundred to see an album I hate, and then maybe maybe I get to see like pipe Down live, like or TSU live. But then I was like getting ready to go to a museum with a Lisa, and I was like just like doing my little thing, and I was listening to Life of the Party and I was like, what if, by some grace of God, like he brings Andre three thousand out?

Like I don't know what a delusion I have.

First of all, like as a human being, like that, he's just gonna bring Andre three thousand out.

But I was like what if. Like I'm like, he's brought out the most random people at other things, but what if he does this? And I was like, oh my god.

And it felt like such a thing in their beef, Like that song was such a catalyst for like the beef squashing in my brain.

So I was like, this makes so much sense.

He's gonna do this live. And I was not excited to see him, but I keep saying it. The second Jesus Walk started and then he just like kept going and then he is doing like all of the.

Lies, I literally said to Lisa. Yeah, we cried.

I literally the sentence I said to Lisa, which is the most funny shit ever, is like I made the joke, like, what is this god fearing man gonna do all of a sudden like play fucking gold Digger live?

And he did and it was magnificent. I haven't felt that much joined so long.

Yeah.

I was smiling the entire fucking time. Everybody around me was smiling the entire time. It was, honestly, such a beautiful moment top twenty five experiences of my life.

It literally you know what it was. It was probably because we went there, That's why he did that.

Yeah. Well the craziest fucking part, No, the craziest part of the entire fucking thing. And I don't know why it didn't catch on the fucking Amazon live stream. But Drake pointed me, pointed at me. He pointed at me, back me up in you. He pointed at me from the fucking stage in the middle of his performance. He cut every fucking he cut his mic, he cut all the music. He was like, hold up, hold up, pointed at me and said Drew Phillips, and I was like, holy fuck.

Yes. He was like did you shave? Like did you shave? And I was like, shaved.

And I was like, oh, does he mean mustache or like yeah. I was like, I was like, what is he talking about right now?

But of course I shaved my fucking pubes because in the off chance that fucking Drake saw me in the crowd, like I was gonna be manicured in manscaped. He pointed at me, Thank god I shaved my pubes, because I was like, yes, yes, I shaved my fucking pubes.

He sent his security guards.

No, no, you're not even talking about that. This is the craziest part. Not only did he send his security guards, but like almost like in like you know the things you get on at the airport where it's like you stand there and it's like that like roadway thing that keeps you. It's like an escalator with no steps. One of those shot from drew seat down to the stage.

It was like he fucking planned it. I have no id.

I wasn't even sitting in the same seat my ticket was bought for. It was unfucking really, it was like one of the most unbelievable experiences.

Of my life.

Security guards grabbed me, put me on this fucking conveyor belt. I just screwed it across. It was the most awkward fifteen minutes of my entire.

Yeah, because I will say they also shown the spotlight Andrew, so it was just like it was like the attention wasn't even on Drake anymore.

Stadium was silent, and he was just whispering in my ear like all these really naughty things that I don't want to get into. He was like, come backstage after me and Kanye are gonna treat you right, like all these really naughty things.

You didn't tell me that.

Where did you think I went after the fucking concert?

I thought, I don't know you. I thought you went to like a bar or something.

I didn't know you, Like, Oh no, I was backstage with Kanye and Drake doing unforeseen things.

I don't want to talk about it.

Oh so you're a slut, you like give it up really easier, a fucking slut, Like.

It's Kanye and Drake, Like you wouldn't do the.

Fucking Those are just people and you're like making them seem like this like weird, like hierarchy, Like a slut is a slut is a slut like you gave it up easy, You're a slut, like.

You're a bitch. Oh my fucking oh my god. Anyways, actually, but he did he did sex with Drake and fucking Kanye. Did you want me to say it out loud? Yes, I had Drake with fucking sexy Drake. Sexy Drake and Kanye sex. It was unbelievable. Orgy blood orgy.

That's like a three something that's not an orange.

Cut, my thigh open.

Okay, cho.

But I will say after that, like it was a quickie because he let you come back to your seat and then we kept watching the concert.

Yeah, it was so fucking weird.

And oh you know what I realized is like, you know.

How my pubes grew back?

I don't. I literally have no idea why at all. It's actually really scary.

I would hope they grow back to if they did, that'd be really bad.

Anyways, you know how like when I said this at the concert, and I just need to reiterate it, Like when I was younger and I would go to like a one direction concert, like yeah, I'm like I'm fucking stripping my kuchi because like Harry Styles is probably gonna like he's one hundred pc gonna to have sex with me, although it's just so funny, like at the age of like fourteen, being like, yeah, this.

Twenty one year old is like deaf gonna want to fuck me today, like.

Because like it's such a like child thing, Like it's just like the delusion.

But kids at Kanye and Drake shows dress up like my.

Fucking god, Drake or Kanye is gonna see them and be like that fucking outfit and are you a.

Silent on my team? I need you on my fucking team. How did you?

How the fuck did you? Where did you source that jacket from?

See?

I allow it.

I'm like like king, I'm I'm king. I am like King of fashion, like we know this. I will allow it just because it that is their moment, Like they prepared for months this outfit to wear to this concert and they feel fucking awesome in it. I honestly, have you ever felt good in an outfit?

And I feel good.

In an outfit every single day because I fucking serve.

Well, that's embarrassing. You should serve every day. You're being seen every day, bibbs, But dressed it up.

I'm okay with it, but the outfits were.

Something so fucking bad, and like the guys at that show would walk with such a swagger that I'm like, who are you like and who do you think you are? Because I need to know. Also, we saw a white girl with the craziest fit.

Ever and she was literally from the metaverse.

She was like she was like in PC, I mean a fucking character, her character in the metaverse, but in real life, like a crazy neon pink vinyl dress, like the craziest skirt I've ever seen, dude, what's worth it?

It wasn't even a skirt.

It was like a caught in like a pair of shorts. And I was like, you're cold, You're fucking.

Cold right now.

It's crazy hearted.

But yeah, the show was awesome.

And then the uber home was one hundred and seven dollars. And also we waited in line for a beer for forty fucking minutes and then we were getting to the front.

I forgot about this.

I we were we were halfway through the line and the show is about to start. Kai was waiting in line with us, and that, oh my. Kai was like, I'm gonna go back, and as I asked, Ky, can you record the concert please, so I don't miss the intro. I'm gonna stay back within you so she doesn't get abducted by one of these barred out fucking zandi.

They were all on Xanax, like the amount of xantis.

That couple who kept walking back and forth, who was like sixteen, I was like, they like can't drive a car, and right now they're probably the most fucked up.

Like I've never been as fucked up as they are, and I will never be.

There was insane. I was like young need actually.

And the boyfriend was like walking around and the girlfriend was like trying her best to keep her fucked.

Up vision straight and like follow him around.

But yeah, uh. But we got halfway through this line and I said out loud, I was, I said, you know what if we get to the front and they run out of alcohol. I said it jokingly because I was like, that's not gonna fucking happen. Of course they're not gonna run out of alcohol. It's like a giant fucking concert. Lo and behold, we get to the fucking front and they run out of goddamn alcohol.

To be fair, they ran out of beer, but I guess everyone wanted beer, and nobody wanted whine, and there was like wine left at the bottom of the coolers, and the way I went into like fucking I went into solution mode the second I saw a problem. I literally walked to the other booth, walked in front, and I was like, I will buy whatever the fuck you want from this booth. If you buy my thing, like I will buy you.

We waited in this line for forty five minutes.

Yes, I was like I wasn't even desperate to have alcohol like that.

I was like, this is embarrassing.

I've just waited here too long. And also I was so cold.

I was like I kind of need alcohol to sustain a living temperature in my body right now, Like I need it to like overheat me.

And I was like, I'm going to have a drink because it's gonna be fun, it's gonna loosen me up, and I'm gonna like have a good fucking time. I was so excited to have one of those giant fucking cans of of like beer. I was so excited to have one because I haven't had one since I was like eighteen. Wait, I'm from the Etam, I'm from the uk Okay.

I was like I should go into that.

No, no, not today. That's like, dude, that's a whole story, that's your origin story.

Yeah, maybe I'll talk about that later. Yeah.

But I was excited to drink about or drink. I was excited to drink that fucking tallest kind of alcohol. But we got wine whatever, it was.

Whatever.

I was like, it's gonna be fun. It's still gonna We're still gonna have a fu fun it was. It was a goddamn blast. I chugged my glass of wine, my glass and a half glass and three quarters of wine, and I was the most sexy.

I've ever been in my entire life. I felt fucking sexy hot.

Like there was a photo that I found of myself recently where I was like, this is the hottest I've ever been in my entire life.

Maybe we'll flash it up on the screen.

Maybe not.

You're literally holding like a gun in it.

I don't give a ship. It's legal, Like it was a legal gun. It was a legal strap, and I have I'm practicing gun safety, my fingers not on the trigger. But I was like, I'm sexy, fucking hot, like I feel good, and I put the show the way Oh my.

God, God, we fucking did that, dude.

Oh my god, I don't even know if we told KYI about that literally after okay, but let me finish the wine story. Yeah, drank wine. I was like, why didn't no one fucking tell me that wine is like the best drunk I've ever had in my entire life, Like, this is fucking awesome. I woke up the next day like the almost the worst hangover I've ever had in my life.

That's an example, which.

Is a lie because like I've literally we've all seen you pass away on the sidewalk before.

I wasn't hungover after that.

That's the craziest part I know, because I don't think it.

Was, but uh yeah I was.

I had a raging headache. I've never had a headache when I was hungover. I had lights and civitian and I took a vow that very moment, that very next day, I will never drink wine again. I had a great night. It was awesome, but fuck the way it made me feel the next day.

But it did regulate my shits.

I did regulate my shits. It like I was consipated and I'm shitting.

Good again, you know.

What I will say, though, I think that was like really sugary wine and that's probably why it gave us a headache, because I also had headache, and I think most wines don't have like a high sugar content, but since it was like canned wine, it's like kind of shitty. Yeah, But after the fucking show, we get out and I'm like, I need a hot dog because I hadn't eat in for so long that my one, I feel like you killed both of the glasses for the most part, like both.

Of the cans.

Yeah I had. I had a good amount of the second can, but I didn't. I made sure I was drunk, but I was like not drunk enough to just like hog it.

I made sure to leave some left.

Over, but yeah, I was like drunk, but I was just like I need food to absorb some of this. Like right now, I know I'll have a hangover tomorrow and I don't eat and oh my god, the best part about concerts in LA is those motherfuckers with their fucking goddamn hot dog stands.

Like I will.

Literally I I will suck them dry, both both metaphorically, like I will buy all the hot dogs and leave them dry.

And also like.

Of them head that will send them to the emergency room, like I will, like I will deplete their body.

Could you try them? No, my fucking gun, you're literally a slag, total fucking slag, fucking slag.

Oh Kai is the one who bought my hot dog.

God bless you. That ship was so fucking good. Someone ran up to us later and I was like candling that.

Fucking hot dog.

It was so embarrassing because I was like eating and I looked up and I see her, and I'm like, she's watching me slurp the funk out of this hot right now, and all the onions were like falling out of my mouth.

And I was like, yeah, I've seen I've never seen you eat food that fast in my entire life.

It was gone in thirty seconds.

It was so And it's not one of those like pussy hot dogs that you get from the movie theater.

No, it's a big boy.

The girthy fucking like four and a half girth.

I take it down, it's like a it's like a very average sized penis hot dog. Yeah, it's like four and a half girth, five inch girth, like six inch.

Lang.

You're like going really in detail.

Anyways, hit my line anybody who wants to try.

But we got out and drew I don't know where the fuck this came from out of him.

We didn't tell you this guy, but he just like was like I'm gonna tap his shoulder, and I was like who, And I look and it's a stranger and he runs up and taps her shoulder and keeps walking.

And then with it, I was I was no.

I looked back at the videos lately. We were moving so slowly.

We need to insert the videos after we finished the story myself, we were moving so I literally felt like I was like killing.

It was I'm not kidding. That's the most like childish fun I've had in so long.

Yeah, because also in the videos one I pissed myself, like I fully like let out a little piss from laughing so hard.

And it's just me.

Walking with my hot dog and like like cracking up and my puffer is on, so it's like like me laughing.

Over that I'm walking up and I tapped this dud's shoulder. It goes over, well, like I get him. He looks the wrong way. It's embarrassing for him, and I keep going.

Which I blame this behavior on Mason, because Mason is the one who like brought this.

And then and then I do it again to another couple and it goes overwhelm and I'm like, oh, I'm like killing it. And then I do it again and I'm like, oh, I'm fucking killing it. And then we like reached this sidewalk and there's like these group this group of people walking in front of us, and I'm like, ya, I'm gonna charge at this group of people and then just like run as fast as I can at this group of people and then just turn. And I'm not kidding.

I would have plowed through them. And I sprinted at them.

And then I stopped and turned and just started walking very slowly with the group. And there's a girl in the group. We need, actually, we need to normalize running after girls in the dead of night, Like we just need to normalize that and scaring the fuck out of them.

We need to normalize men charging at women, but doing no body at.

Home exactly, So I did that, say in the dead of nights. She was pissed rightfully, so she was like, that's not fucking funny, Like you fucking freak. Like she was like, that's it's.

Not funny to just charge at girls, or like it's not just funny to charge at people. And what made it worse is my goofy ass was like running behind him, and then Cat caught up and was like cracking up, Like I was drunk enough that I couldn't like I couldn't gauge the fact that just like my social cue at that moment was to like laugh under my breath.

I was laughing so fucking.

I was laughing out loud. I was spraying, like my spit in my mask. In my mask by the end of the night was sopping. We like you could have my fucking soliva out of it.

It was discussed and then I have.

A video of Drew doing it like he the first person he does it to. The video just goes haha, because like at one point it just like was not slick. He was like we got on a sidewalk where there was borderline nobody else, so it was very obvious that it was us because it's also me trailing behind with my phone to my chest like obviously recording, like.

And then we and then the last one that we did, I got we got to like where we were getting picked up, like the Uber spot, and just there was a bunch of people walking by and as I would walk by, I would just tap their shoulder and I did it to like four couples in a row, and the last one, like the video is so funny because I go to do it and then I realized he's

Moving his hand around so that he looked hello, like flamboyant in movement, so it looked like it was an accident.

Yeah, it was like, yeah, the uber is on its way right there. Yeah.

I wonder if these are uber like blacks that are waiting for people to order.

I think.

I can remember anymore, the.

One with the other. I think they're Uber blacks.

Also, a girl asked for me to cover for her to pity, and then she just pissed right behind us, like she was like, can you like come and watch like over me while I p And I was like looking around and I was like, there's nowhere to.

Piss girl, Like I said, go piss girl.

Yeah.

We were like I was just like you might as well just like do it, and.

I was like, oh, I would do it, but the uber it said that it was right there, and I was like, also, I'll ride for any of my girl's piss like Aliso o'byan Elsie, like any of my girls, Like I'll let your piss like splash off the concrete off to me.

I love you, but this random ass, would.

You let my piss splash off the concrete and hit you?

No?

Really, because it's probably like I've seen your diet, it's like actually gonna like radiate through my skin and then I'm gonna get like a tumor wherever it lands there enough. But I was also like why I don't even have anything to cover her, Like, I'm like, she's just gonna piss on me.

And then I was and her boyfriend was with her. I was like, what a bad boyfriend just cover for her?

A bitch?

Literally, Yeah, And he didn't. He just like stood there washy pissed and I was like, you.

Are going now? Yeah. It was.

It was naughty.

And then we got home and laid in my bed and we were just like, that was the best night of our fucking line.

I like kids came home and we're like sitting around.

It was so fucking cute, and I was watching all the videos I took. It was really it was a fantastic night. And to think that I was indifferent about going, I was.

Like, I know, I almost bailed.

I was like, if I didn't spend this much money on it, I would have bailed.

Yeah. I was like I should not have come because then the uber was like hella, I don't know. It was. It was a mess getting there, but getting there and.

Then even the beer situation was like this is not working in our favor.

But it was fucking awesome. In a second, Kanye Start came on. I was like, my job was dropped the entire time.

And then walking down the stairs was so fucking funny though.

I'm like, I've seen models, Yeah, I've seen models go downstairs and look up straight.

I'm like, they're so embarrassed about the idea following right now that they like they can't even take the risk and look up for a second, they're likely goofy.

Then what?

Then jay Z offered us twenty million dollars.

It was fucking It was so cycle.

It was like I couldn't believe it.

And it was weird to say no because it was like, listen, I know you're like not only like a fucking gazillionaire, but like an entrepreneur, and.

Sorry, keep going a billionaire at heart, Like you're.

Good no, because you want me to keep going immediately. Like I've told you before, your consequence is silence, So watch what the fuck you say to me.

Your consequence is a nipple slurp clap.

Was so loud it like hurt me. I wanted to make it seem like a slap droom.

Anyways, So good, it was a delayed reaction.

Your consequence is spink.

Anyways. We went to the leflur Purpur and jay Z was there.

And I okay, Like, honestly, I like I like going to things like that and like supporting friends and like people who I like look up to.

I'm like, this is like awesome, but it was really weird for.

Someone like jay Z to like show up and I was like, oh, my god, he's here to like be here.

But then he like immediately pointed me and True out and.

Like he like, kind are having fun.

You guys are having fun on that swing set. I want to join.

He like ran up to us like, which was like so sweet and like human like like it was just like such a human moments watching jay Z like run in.

Grass it was skippy.

Yeah, it was like a little bit of a skip.

And then he did come up to us and he was like, oh my god, like, can I use the swing I haven't like been like on.

A swing set and so long.

I said no, yeah, and then he was like I like your spunk and that you stand your ground. And actually I wasn't gonna bring this up. I was like my spunk, you know, he's just he's a bit older. So he was like, I like, I like your spunk and.

My coomb.

Like your cum.

I don't think you spunk means.

That is not what spunk means.

The fuck are you talking about?

That is like a slang word for.

Spunk in charisma.

That's like spunk is like, oh you got spunk, kid, Like that's like an old people thing.

It was an old No, it is not it is.

The fact that two people who claim to be straight know like such a random word for.

Comm I'm straight.

That's it, that's a sentence. Yep, I'm a straight fifteen year old person.

A partner to Mini.

Okay, So so yeah, jay Z just came up to us and he was like, honestly, I wasn't going to bring this up because I was kind of shy, and I was like, oh my god, jay Z's like to be around us, and then he was like, oh, like I.

Love emergency and a calm, and then he like really tried to buy it from us, and we were like, no, you're like freaking It was like, I'll give you seventeen million dollars for fifteen percent, which is a disgraceful amount of money.

Yeah, are you fucking like.

We have an estimation of this podcast being worth like five hundred million.

Yeah, like a two million dollar evaluation, Like, are you out of your fucking mind?

Probably, But basically we denied him, and then the rest of it was like really fun and beautiful, but like that was like, that was just such an unreal moment. Yeah, it's JC trying to buy the podcast from us, and.

Then I jumped off the fucking hill and rolled down and got cactus thorns all in me. I tried to kill myself.

I was gonna I was gonna be the first person to kill myself with the laflir pop up. That's like, I'm not kidding.

That's the first thing I said when we got there, because it's like, like there was like this beautiful fucking view.

It was a utopia. It was literally the most magical thing I've ever like been to in my life. It was like a utopian society. Like when you got out of that fucking car, it felt like you had entered like an entirely different world. They were like kids running around. It was super cute and they were Yeah, it was just actually beautiful and the perfume smells fucking awesome.

It was also just.

So well thought out and I bought way more than I expected.

I bought like three things, but no regret.

What are they called the little hat that I bought bas No, it's not that's a grandma.

The they'll know, they'll know what fucking hat they just made of thorns? Like what babuska thorns?

Sorry, I'm actually like losing it.

I'm a literally like I'm a little crazy right now, I'm a crazy little guy.

But yeah, it was actually so fucking awesome.

And then like it was so beautiful and we got there and I looked over the edge and I was like, I'm gonna be the first person to commit suicide at this fuck that is a vet because I was like, I'm gonna jump off this clip right now.

That's not funny.

It is a little real, Okay.

I also I want to just like say this. I saw two things where.

I was like, oh, I beat your ass in chest too, shut the fuck up, like you got your shit rocked.

You should care about beating some ass in real life sexually, and not about beating as in chess.

Do you hear yourself like I eat ass in real life and I beat ass in chess. I brushed my hair and girls out for the first time in a long time, and they're really fucking annoying.

I hate my hair.

Anyway, it was beautiful.

Oh but I saw this thing that I was like, oh, someone really worried about my finances, which it sounded like a man said it, because then one of the things was do you think she'll have to start an OnlyFans? And I hold you fucking slip and get a concussion and twist your hip and you can never walk straight again, because what.

The fuck are you talking about?

Like like and that's not a dis to only fans, but like for you to act like you give a fuck about my like my safety and like like my like my like, oh, I hope she's not raking up debt.

Do you think she'll turn to OnlyFans like what, you don't actually care?

You just I was about to say, that's just him like projecting his like like hopefully, like.

He just wants to fucking suck my nipples. And I'm like, girl, like, you're not gonna get to like.

Shut him both.

He's gonna hear this and be so sad.

Good. That was a little weird of him.

I know.

All the comments were like, hey, I think she's like fine, but also why did you mention only that?

All of like my followers were like why did you do that?

And then someone else was really worried about your like mental health, and like was like yeah, they say like really like scary things sometimes and I'm so.

Sorry be worried.

I don't want anyone to actually worry about us. Oh my god, I have fucking therapy tomorrow.

Cancel, Li, cancel because we've.

Been filming at night, so tomorrow we just have to keep it the fucking licorice pizza.

We're gonna go see it tomorrow.

Oh it's at seven and my therapy at eight. Oh damn, damn, damn, damn.

I got really scared because I was like, oh my god, this episode's gonna come out before we watch it, and like they're gonna fucking spoil it for me in the comments. But I'm gonna see it before this week before Happy Christmas.

Yeah, what were we even talking about?

Your fucking bob.

Oh yeah, we're talking.

About people are literally being worried about my mental health. Oh yeah, you should be worried, you or so you should worry about me?

Know what you worry?

I'm I have a second thought about me before you go to bed every night.

I am not kidding.

I don't think I'm capable of being like depressed anymore because.

Of how dumb I am.

I literally feel the same way.

I'm like, I'm so good right now. I make all these jokes to like combat how to combat those feelings, but I feel actually fucking awesome, like genuinely don't worry about me. I may say some dark things, but like at the end of the day, like, I'm fine.

It's funny the joke about how scary life can be exactly. Also, I actually I haven't had like, no, that's a lie. I was like really fucking sad for a minute, but that was like, what's it called their situational? Yeah, that was situational. But I haven't had a depressive episode since this time last year.

So I'm on a good strong depression.

Yeah, seessontal depression hasn't really bothered me. But I think it's because there's not a single moment where I'm in silence.

I know there's there's We've been working so fucking much, we've been so social, it's like we don't have time.

Maybe this is probably why, like normal people are normal because.

They're normal people scare me. Though normal people scare the fuck out of me.

Normal people make me horny.

We should get Galaxy tights for the podcast one episode and wear them.

I'm literally gonna get a shank.

In during a filming of an episode. I'm gonna stab you in the fuckingtions.

I would actually allow that, literally just one day, stab me. I don't care as long as it's I won't I won't sue you, I won't press charges. I'll be like I deserved it. She's protecting yourself.

I just want to feel it. Let's go to the uh the soup?

Oh, should we do soup?

We'll say, I don't even know what you wanted to talk about with the.

Soup because you don't fucking like soup and it's disrespectful.

I was okay.

I mentioned it way earlier on the podcast. I was like, y'all are lying about soup. So but I gave it a chance. I gave it another try. Like gorgeous, gorgeous guys hate soup. That's the real fucking saying. Fuck soup. Still fuck soup. It's not feeling. It's way too fucking hot all the time. There's absolutely no flavor in any soup.

It sounds like you've never had soup made by somebody who's like making it with the passion.

That may be correct, You may be a little right about that.

Like no one was as passionate as my mom and dad hungover is fuck making a soup because they need nutrients to like regarner life, and like that soup was always so fucking good.

Uh yeah, soup just fucking sucks. End of conversation for me. There's no convincing me. I tried to convince myself. Soup fucking blows. You blows fucking chunks. It's just not Also, it's not a pleasant experience, like it's like liquid and chunks, Like, how are you supposed to eat that?

Like you're are you dumb?

Are you fucking dumb? Like, actually you're dumb.

I'm not dumb.

I'm a genius.

Actually I have a very high IQ.

That's something we still you ever once seeing you take a fu IQ test like you've like I've never seen you show me IQ Like.

I'll look it up right now on my AMI.

On your good.

No, I mean like a real life one, not one off the fucking internet. Girl, Like he's not like kids who are like at home taking adah D like tests on Google and being like yep, that's me.

Yeah, that's exactly what.

Super is fucking good.

I just wanted to defend soup because Drew claims he doesn't like soup even though you fuck.

Up yours you had today.

Never mind what we're gonna say. I was just gonna say another thing, and then I thought about it and I was like, oh, she's gonna react with silence, so I'm not gonna say no. Say I will know.

I won't give you silence.

You'll give me fucking silence. Say it the only soup I like a squirt soup.

Or Jim soup.

Oh, egg drops soup, but instead of eggs it's no, no, it's still egg drop soup.

Ova soup.

No egg drop soup would be if I took my Diva cup and dropped it in some fucking wow.

Dude, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on with this fucking chair man. It's cramping me up.

Its fucking you up.

My leg is like numb is shit right now?

Um?

Yeah? Egg drops soup, delicious deloine chise, okay should Oh, this is just something I wanted to say that I just need to get this thought out there. Get off your damn phone.

Sorry.

I was trying to see if I made plans with oriyon tonight. I was like, I don't think I did, but she texted me and I got really scared that I made plans that I forgot about.

But no plan.

She was replying to one of my toxic girl I've sent to her.

I was about to say, a toxic trait we have is our friends not texting us back for one day and immediately assuming they're dead.

No, that's different though, because like I hear from Orian at least once a day, Like there is once a like at least one time a day talk from Orian where it's like a toxic TikTok or I'll send her one and it'll be some sort of reaction or like interaction.

But not only did she not and.

She didn't post on her story for like two days, and I didn't hear for her for like two and a half days. I was like, oh, this bitch died, Like yeah, she was murdered. I'm gonna go find the murderer.

I'm gonna know. The thing is, we were like, oh, she's dead, but like let's make let's make lunch first and then we'll go drive over to her house and check on her.

I know. I was like, I'm gonna make breakfast first, because you know what, I'm not kidding.

This was a genuine thought I had.

I was like, well, when I find out she's dead for real, like I'm gonna lose my appetite and I probably won't eat for a few days, so I need to We.

Were genuinely like, I thought she was dead. This is the second time it has been very real that we thought one of our friends has passed away.

Oh yeah, we thought I died. Yeah, And Okay.

Also, I want to, like say, I keep clarifying this, but I've said it in Patreon and I haven't like said it publicly yet.

Yeah.

If you want to hear me talk more, go on the Patreon like whatever.

Yeah, we have a bunch of episodes up now. It's a lit little community we have.

I know the Discord is fun as anyway.

Fun as fun, but it's scary as home.

I've said it on there, I've said it on there, and I have to say it on here. Just because we bullyk Hi doesn't mean y'all get to fucking bully high. We bully Hi. But then we have sweet, sweet loving sex with him. We do not It makes up for it.

We do not do the second part.

We we do love each other though, and we make passion. We make love.

And we thought he died and all of us freaked out, but then he was alive and he just had just see he turned off his phone for like two days for fucking attention.

Like, literally, I'm.

Gonna do that. What are y'all gonna do?

You?

What would y'all do if I disappeared for two days?

If I disappear, I would not I'm not kidding.

I like it because of the way you talk about you, like you need attention so much, like so much more.

Than any human. I know that it's gonna be a really fucked up day.

God forbid something does happen, because I'll just be so annoyed with you. I'll be like, this dumb motherfucker wants attention. You said something in the kai right before we started folking that. I was like, that is not true. And he's so annoying, Like I forgot what it was.

I picked I picked up my new heart medicine today and I was like, he walked into the attention.

He walked to me.

He's like, should I start the medicine that I'm gonna have to take for the rest of my life? Like, and he's so dramatic, and I'm like, You're not taking that for the rest of your fucking life.

I got so mad because like, you don't know that I do.

Like I do though, but yeah, so it would be really hard to know if you were actually like needed help because he like.

You're so annoying.

I just need attention, I know, but like to the point that it's like delusional, like I need attention too, and but I need as much as you do.

Yeah, I do need I do need attention more than the average person. But that's what makes me me. It's part of one of my fatal flaws. It's like not so fatal. It's like, oh, like it's kind of quirky and cute because I don't like, like do insane batshit crazy things to get attention.

Like you have a video where you put like casts on yourself and then like it took so long to get the bass.

That was I'm scarred. That video literally scarred me. I have scars on my hands and my fucking ankle from that asshole that cut the cat's cast off me. I actually shouldn't say that because like he literally saved my life. But I had to sleep in those casts for like three fucking nights.

It was actually awful.

I just existed in them. That was insane.

Fuck la labo, la laba. If you're listening. Fuck you, your candle sucks ass.

If you hear this, please send me a p R package.

Actually, shirt is so fucking warm, it's like sweating up and like sticking to my skin. I feel like I when I'm out of state, like nobody hears from me, like I don't. I'm so bad at texting people and keeping up with people when I'm out of state. I think maybe I've gotten a little better at it.

Yeah, I mean we were talking a lot when you were out of state last I just feel like you were bored as shit though, Yeah, because I was just like kind of at home.

But most of the time when I.

Like, if I go to New York, I'm like, I am, AM, I A, and nobody ever wonders.

If I fucking died. Typical typical of you bitches.

Yeah, because you never wonder if I died.

That's fucking different. You're so annoying.

I'm going to disappear for five days and I'm gonna let you And what if I never come back, Well.

Then I'll panic. If like a month goes by, I'll panic.

Oh, okay, so the month is the cutoff.

No, I don't know what I would just know what.

I I genuinely think if I was a wall for two days, like.

Like, you would actually be concerned.

You would be concerned if I didn't come home after like four hours, you'd be like, Okay, where is this motherfucker at? Like my location went off like both of them did.

I would be No. I would be so fucking annoyed.

I would be, Oh, he's just having a stinky link.

No.

I would just toucht your mom and be like, can you get your son? He's pissing me off?

Then you call me and my phone goes to voicemail, but my voicemail box is filled.

And then I go on your fucking meme acount and your posts alive.

You can't shut up here. I posted thirty six means in the last four hours. That is like my toxic trait is that goddamn meme account. My other another thing that's fucked up is Okay, no one talks about this, but being a gamer is a mental illness, and I am suffering so badly right now.

Like I know, I said in the last episode that you disappear into your room for like four hours, and you're like, no, it's.

Not four hours. I actually timed it our gaming session the other night, because I was like, okay, get.

On different gaming session. Did you go to war with your brother and then you do it with like hunter.

And that each time it's like thirty minute increments and I have like four hours in between each time.

That is a lie. That's there's not that much time in the day.

You don't know anything about me every day.

I get closer and closer running away.

Then go girl, you can't run and you don't have a car.

Where are you going, bitch?

I'll uber my lad.

I never spend the money on an uber to run away via.

Uber, I'd steal your car.

Then what if you stole my car?

I would ruin your fucking life.

I'd be so pissed.

Then what you wouldn't You wouldn't know where I went? Am I in Iceland.

With my car?

Drive it off a cliff?

I'm going to kill you, bitch.

I would have survived if we drove off that cliff.

Cai. Oh wait was that us? No, we talked about it.

Yeah.

I would have survived and we would have survived.

If I drove us off.

Yeah no, I would have done it so that the car would have landed on your side and smuck killed.

And would live. Okay, I mean how long is this have we been talking?

Uh, let's just save this for tomorrow.

I can go into my dream that I had last night that was actually so fucked up, and it like I woke up sad. So during the day before we went to sleep, me and You were just like really into the like tornado outbreak that happened rest in Peace.

That's so fucking sad and scary.

And yeah.

Also we weren't like really into it, but we were just like.

We were just watching away.

Yeah, we were watching the videos, like just taking in that fucking devastation.

It's like so dark, it's so evil.

Natural disasters are fucking obscene to me.

I used to be obsessed with tornadoes still am, just because the one that hit my hometown, I like wanted to see one again so fucking bad. But we watched those tornado videos and it just like kind of lingered with me all day and I was like, oh, dude, that's like so dark and sad.

So but anyways, I went to bad and in my dream.

It was me, you Christian, and I it was Elisa and Orian or Elisa or Orion. I don't know who. It was either four or five of us, and we were in this like what building it was was my old youth like church building. It was like the building detached from the church. It was like this big glass building with like games and it was just like this place, this like youth center at my old church. But it was basically a building like covered in head to toe

Literally like took you away.

And then I woke up, and I don't know what happened next, but like the building got fucking destroyed, like you could see the glass break, and then you got sucked away and you died. I so gnarly, I know that's what I was saying. And I woke upset, and I was like, if Enya, every fucking does that to me, I'll be so pissed.

Yeah, if there's ever a tornado and I really want to watch it and get sucked away, you'll be biz.

Yeah.

Well, I think like in real life, i'd be more lenient. I'd be like, yeah, let's go watch it and we could disappear together.

Buzz kill.

Well, I haven't killed in my dream I haven't had any nightmares.

Someone did come up to us and talked about their dreams.

I was like, yeah, in my dreams, smell blood in the scent of my body, like my family's body is burning.

And I was like, okay, well that's like I can't say that I've.

Smelled like you scare the shit out of it. And then also we were walking to the concert and a fan like locked eyes and like normally I know when y'all, when y'all know who I like, I know when you know who I am. Yeah, it's like it's very easy to tell you're not fucking slick.

It's a seventh sense.

Yeah, it's like literally it's the sixth sense or the seventh. Yeah, there's senses, the sixth senses. You've seen dead people.

Oh there's only five sentence.

Yeah, seeing.

Ring tastes and smell. Oh yeah, and then there's like in two squirting. So yeah, I have fucking seven too.

Well that's funny because you were saying you only have five.

I have six plus seven.

Yeah.

See, you have six because you can sense when people know us. But I have seven because I squirt.

Oh I forgot I have eight because I squirt and I see dead people and I'm on the cream team.

So you have nine.

Oh I forgot about that. I actually have infinity. So what the fuck was I saying?

Oh, this girl walked past us, and I was like, oh, she knows who we are, and she looked at both me and Ya and then.

Just laughed at us. She just laughed.

She laughed in our fucking face, like scoffed at us, like.

Like half laugh, half scoffed, and kept walking and I was like, don't do that, because I'll kill myself.

Yeah, I was like, are you laughing at me? Like? Do you enjoy? Like do you like my content? Are you laughing at me?

Are you like are you scoffing because you can't believe you see these two idiots walking.

By in real life?

Yeah, and it's like funny to you? Or are you laughing at me because you think I'm annoying?

And you hit me?

And like seeing me in real life is like entertaining to some way, because I'm gonna kill myself.

And see, look we're aspiring, we're inspiring all over again. We had this same concert or conversation. At the concert, We're like, oh my god, did she hate us or did she like us? Or And then someone came up to us in the grocery store and was like, yeah, I know you're listening, and I know her friends are listening, but she I actually laughed. I thought it was fucking hilarious. But she said, She's like, I love your podcast and I was like, thank you so fucking much.

That's so nice.

And then they were like I tried to show my friends, but like and then she's like, no, in never mind, I won't. I won't say it. And I was like, no, say it, like what and she's like then they were like, uh, you're kind of annoying to them, like they don't think you're funny. And I was just like I was like, okay.

I'm just trying to buy fucking pasta, Like I'm literally in the pastile, like.

Don't say that to me. You were right.

That's my problem is that people like try to bite their tongue and not say what they were gonna say. And I'm like, I just need to let them be because you know what it is. I said the thing to me that ruined my life for three days, literally ruined my life for three days.

It's three days, bitch, you're fucking peebirdy forgot about that shit the second you said that.

No, But the second I sit in this fucking chair, it's reignited. And I'm like, oh, yeah, now you're thinking about it.

Yeah see, I going to be that about it.

Well, you know what the thing is. I am like the perfect human and nobody talks about that. Like you may find me annoying, but it's just a repellent because.

Like, for really that's you projectory saying.

Yeah, like for really uninteresting people who don't have the confidence to say what they're thinking, and like who are really like introverted and they like want to be extroverted.

And you're probably ugliest fuck fugly big, But.

Like me, I'm perfect because I talk a lot and like I can like keep someone entertained. I have like gorilla grip pussy, and I like give good head.

Fugly thugly girls hate Enya and Drew gorgeous gorgeous girls.

I have good style.

I'm also like all knowing and like truth and a lie, which is fucking hella good.

Three truths and a lie, which one is to lie.

That I have girlic grip. I actually have a loose goose down there.

I've had situations.

That's my bad, My bad.

Y'all stretched me out.

What wait, what's the equivalent? No, no up? I need to shut up.

I've been trying sounding out recently.

What does that mean?

I stick things inside of my penis.

I haven't say I've had an issue where it's like I'm going to do the business and then someone's part is like kind of like knocking around the walls because there's like too much space in there.

Girl.

Oh my, oh gosh.

It's like when you throw like a penny down a well and it'll like bounce off the side of the walls until it hits the bottom.

It's it's cavernous.

I gotta I do have a wishing well down there.

It's deep, scary, and it echoes. I crawled, it's just burrowed in there for warm.

Yeah, it was nice.

You shrinked me down to fourteen inches and I got in there.

Body parts are so funny.

I know, vaginas are funny.

Someone timed me in this thing that it was like it was a girl.

It was like things I thought before I found out I was a lesson.

It was literally every talking point in the like last two episodes.

Are so funny.

They are funny and gross, like I do genuinely think like most people think that, but I don't know who am I, But.

I think that about everyone's body for.

The most part is gross to me until I like them and I've said that before, and that's just how I feel.

Do you think my body's gross?

I would like to suck on somebody. I would like to be breastbed and treated like a little baby by a woman who's older than me, because I did not get that kind of love and satisfaction.

From a mother. Damn, we need to do an episode where we dissect our freeism.

Whatever it's called.

What is that kai dissecting ur? What would it be like dissecting our freud tendencies?

Iogy it's called dissecting my horny thoughts.

Oh, that would be a dark episode. I'm thinking about it right now. That would be really dark. Y'all don't want to know anything about me. Y'all don't want to Like y'all know a lot about me. You don't want to know about me. You don't.

I want to know what you be getting up to in those dirty ash shees nothing in those dirty you literally there's like dust mite. You're building a new breed of bed bugs in your cheeks.

Yeah, because that's how long it's been said.

It's a little science experiment.

You're literally told me that, like where his body lace, she has thinned out.

I said that on the podcast before and like, like you know when you see like a shirt that's like rubbed a little bit in the thinner there and there's like little beads of fabric all over it.

That's why my bed.

She was like, is it is it stained? Is there a body print where you lay? And I was like no, but I did wash my sheets when you went back to Miami.

I texted you about it.

What a coincidence when I wasn't here.

It's smell them no, it's like you're making your own chloroform back there, Like I smell it, like, knockout that bed?

All right, are we gonna have to remove me saying I want to suck on some nipples?

No, no, well let's do media.

But before media, I just want to say thank you to all the patrons, the patrons.

Thank you to the patrons. And also I guess this isn't will there be an episode.

After No, the next episode will be in the new year, So before the New year. I always just want to say one Merry Christmas. This episode goes up on Christmas Eve. I hope you get to be with people you love. I know sometimes it's gonna be a very lonely time for some people, whether it be lack of family, lack of friends.

Just know that.

You're pointing to herself.

But like you act like like a bomb nuke your whole family, Like you still have your whole family left.

Nuke coming soon. Let's just say that.

No, but really, if you are solo this Christmas, I hope that this episode yeah kept you company. We're sending our love to you. Merry Christmas, Happy Hollow Days.

Twas the night before Christmas.

And also thank you guys so much for the love and support on the podcast this year. It honestly has been like astronomical walking. It's been so awesome watching like a community be built out and like watching you guys not only find each other, but like sending us support and like loving us and like what we do and giving us a platform.

I just want to attention.

Yeah, reiterate that without your attention, we would die. So just think about that before you decide to like maybe stop keeping up with us that you've already built up. Oh no, we've fationed in our brain and we will like we will disappear, but like in a very gnarly.

Way, they can't. They can't leave, like we've like we've plowed deep into these people's brains, Like y'all, y'all do realize that, like the withdrawals from emergency intercom are like and next to none, Like it's like withdrawing from ben z diazepines, like you will have a seizure.

So just like be.

Things like any other normal people knows what the fuck that is, Like I don't know what the.

Fuck there's some people out there that is.

But yeah, thank you guys so much.

Setting on my love, have a safe night, Hug your loved ones if you have them, because I guess we all know.

Doesn't anymore.

It's really rough.

I wanted to get that out before you made the joke because I know your ass is just gonna like say it.

But yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and happy New Year and a happy new.

Okay, let's get into the media.

Okay, media. So I watched Grizzly Man. My media of the week is Grizzly Man. Uh. I don't take back what I said. I still think Grizzly bears and bears in general would love me and I would have like a really deep connection with him and I could change them. However, watching Grizzly Man was a rude awakening, and that was a very sad but kind of hilarious documentary. Like the people in it were like actually monsters, like all.

I want to fuck the man with the mustache, the like quiet man. Drew kept being like, if you watch the movie, you'll know who I'm talking about.

But Drew kept being like, that's me.

As if Drew could ever stand on screen and be silent and mysterious for like more than three seconds.

I could.

You don't, like, put a camera in front of me, and I could, And there's one right now, and just say scene.

Am I not recording?

Just say scene.

Scene? He's like, you can't even keep your mouth still. He aw No, he wasn't doing that.

It's such a like anyways, Yeah, I want to have sex with him.

But it was a good movie, No, it was. It was a great great uh en scene. There's me being stoic. No, it was a fan fucking pastic documentary. Elsie has been telling me to watch it ever since I said the joke on the podcast. Didn't know exist, didn't know it existed, But now that I do, it has changed the trajectory of my life forever. I loved that movie. It was fantastic. Check it out. Grizzly Man, I do relate to him a little bit. I don't think I could live with Bears for thirteen years.

Yeah, I think you could be that fucking delusion.

Although yeah, there's something to keep. There's something about him that if I never discovered the Internet, like, that's who I would be, Absolutely who I would be. And then my music is I found a bunch of new songs. Looking for day Dreams by Holger. I don't know how to say their last Night and where is it? Where is it?

Where is it?

Uh?

Priv In by Merlow And then and He's gonna be pissed that I'm saying this, but I'm gonna say it. Driving on Nine by the Breeders. Oh, I don't care, because and you showed me that song the other day coming home from the Little Floor event after jay Z tried to buy a podcast.

I don't think I even played it that day, but I was playing it, you did.

Because I record it right when we were going through the tunnel.

That is what was playing. Oh, I'm not pissed. The Breeders are really good, Shane.

I'm basically a Breeders fan. I listened to the readers for forty five minutes today and like, I'm basically like a fan of theirs.

That's okay, that's good that you think that.

Shane by Liz fair On by Ray Haakami and especially for You by Manchild and Aeroplane Reprize.

And that is my media of the week. Be Safe, be Sleigh.

Wait is that the version that we were listening to in the car. Yeah, so fucking good.

All right, goodbye, love y'all, Be safe, Happy holidays, Love yourself, Love yourself, party, party, love yourself.

Yourself because you feel like

Mm hmmm,