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Welcome to this episode of Merchant Intercom.

I am the main host and your mansor, and this is my co host.

I'm the hot Hello. Hello, Hello.

I like that You ate that I was expecting like a little fight to break up.

Well, I'm not about drama. Like, it's none of this drama shit that everyone wants to happen all the time. Like, I'm not that shit. I'm here to fucking work. I'm here to do my fucking job. I'm here to love unconditionally, and I'm here to fucking die. None of that drama shit.

I don't think I've ever heard your chair sound that loud in my life. Like, I don't know if my stop I'm gonna hitch you.

It might be this new happy nine to nine shirt that's really lit and that you probably don't have but really want.

If my lawyer is wearing if you're a lawyer wearing this, you're going to jail. Like I'm literally the lawyer sending you to jail. In my Happy Night, in her biscuit Hill, in her biscuit heels, her JPG, her Junior Watsonovity.

Like her crazy, the best fit you've ever seen ever.

It's gonna be so awesome when like Alisa.

If you don't know, Lisa is one of our close friends who is one of our only smart friends who got like a full ride, like literally like lawyer, intelligent woman, lawyer. And sometimes when I'm out with her, I'm like, damn, bit you just be going to school and learning and me, I don't feel real and I think I'm Goodzophrontic.

That's the woman that's a new ARC friend.

Yeah, that's how we know feminism hasn't failed us because I can be doing the life I live and Alisa can be doing the life.

Like both things that weren't allowed at one point.

Me being stupid and actually people have always want a woman to be stupid.

I'm actually going against feminism by.

Existing, you're actually the one thing causing the fall of feminism. Also, you don't cook, and oh, I forgot to button this up.

Do you want me to button it for you?

Because you know you never and you know that you would never wear I've got out tonight, but tonight I literally I haven't either. I just know that from tiktoks Wow a girl that loves the smith. Do you smoke cigarettes? Do you smoke cigarettes? No?

Because that's nasty. Why want to do that?

Girl who smokes cigarettes? What did I do?

Well?

Have you been oh my god a long time? See we did see each other for almost two weeks equip McDonald's. That place was fucking terrible. I sold my stake in the company for three hundred million dollars.

You sold your managerial position at McDonald's.

Yeah, I was like the CFO. Oh okay, yeah I had to. It was like you know the show like where they send a billionaire like to oversee their company and they like have to work in the trenches with their employees and then at the end they're like, I want to pay for your college. Yeah, that's what I was doing, except they didn't have cameras on me.

And shit, But you were just doing about the kindness of your heart.

Yeah, well, I'm the CSG at McDonald's. What is that it's the cocksucking general. Oh yeah, because like it's like, you know how a lot of like we workspaces have like the mental health awareness like rooms.

Or a stupid girl.

I was trying so hard when you were talking, like I was ignoring the fuck out. Are you trying to think of something funny for CFOs like cock fucking opera operate.

Right, how have you been awful? But that's okay.

Actually I haven't been awful. I just don't think I'm real.

But I feel like I've been saying that for the past like three years. Is all I say when it comes to my mental health is like I don't feel real or I feel sad. But I got back to La I was in Miami for my little sisters Kincinera, and I got back and I was in the kitchen in the like the first morning I was here, and I felt not real, Like I didn't feel like a real person. I felt like I was impersonating myself.

Like that's literally what I've been going through it. That's what I went through in Texas.

Yeah, Like I was just like, oh, I'm I don't know how to describe it. Like somebody one time commented when I described falling asleep.

And I was like, dude, I could like feel my body and like whatever.

Someone was like, yeah, and it's just describing like bodily awareness, which is like something most normal people just have. And that freaks me out because I I am so disconnected from my body, Like I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like do people just feel their body, because I feel like I don't feel my body like I feel like I'm literally just like a brain.

And he's been doing an insane amount of ketamine. Also, by the.

Way, Yeah, so that doesn't help because it just like makes me more and more disconnected. But yeah, I don't feel my body like when I pick things up, like I'm not aware of my Yeah, I like don't know.

How to describe it. Like I don't feel like I feel it the way I'm supposed to. Yeah, when I was in the kitchen, I was like, oh my god, I don't feel real.

I was touching everything in that corner and genuinely convincing myself that I am a puppet, Like I feel like a Marionette toy and somebody has me up here, and like the only part of my body that has senses is my like brain.

I mean, if you think about it, we literally are brains and then meet sex.

Yeah.

Literally that's literally it. And I think I don't know, but I was like in Texas going through the same fucking thing. Like, dude, I've like always been like okay with death, like for myself or so I thought, And I like for the first time. Like it was bad, y'all. I don't even know what the fuck it was. But I was like confronting my own mortality and like confronting like the mortality of my family and friends, and it was just like so fucking bizarre, and like thinking about

This is really such a blanket answer to that, or like not answer, but thing to throw in. I will say, I feel every time once August is done.

It feels like the year blasts through.

And it's because also taking into account where people who we go and see our family a lot at the end of the year for holidays, and we just naturally are moving around more at the end of the year because we're trying to make up for the time that we quote unquote feel like we waste.

It in the beginning of the year. So that has to do with it.

But I do agree, Like thinking about my teen years, it feels like they lasted forever. But then I try to ground myself because I think about the fact that we're only in our mid twenties.

Old as fuck, literally old, like nasty, old fucking hags, Like I literally hate it. Like that's another thing. I was like, holy shit, Like I'm a twenty five year old man, like making poop and far jokes and dressing the way I dress, Like that's not normal. I need the fucking grow up and become trad and like I need to like settle down with a.

Partner now with that nuclear family. Literally we all got that nuclear family in us. It's about if you want to tap in or not.

I know, like maybe my grandma was right, Like maybe she was.

Right, bro, But I think it's also easy because we haven't.

I'm trying to.

I want to set the record straight. Sorry for cutting you off. I am actually seventeen. Yeah, that was my altar that came out. That was really fucking weird. But I'm back. I'm back, y'all. Ooh, he was being weird. What the fuck was he talking about?

But a majority of our life so far, we've spent it as children, and I think about that a lot when I think about how I feel right now, how I feel really lost, I feel unaccomplished, I feel as if I should have more done, and I feel all these pressures of what I want to get done, whether it be.

For myself or for my family.

And that's something that really burdens me when I go back to Miami, because, as we all know, all I talk about is coming from a broke family, and I think everybody who comes from that and this is just me speaking on my personal experience, but most people want to and you're kind of embedded with the idea to provide for them, and I get really caught up in that.

Were a child.

I even look back at my twenty year old self and I'm like, dude, you were a child. You still had so much figure out, you were so lost, you were so confused, you had so much growing to do.

So then when you put it in.

That perspective, I think that's when I feel better about my age, because I am hitting the point that you hit when you were twenty four. I think where you started looking at twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, and they felt so close versus when you're twenty three, even twenty five felt far. And I always just try to remind myself that I have lived majority of my life as a child, yet I am just now coming into my adulthood and I have time and it's okay, and I'm not old and I don't.

Have to live an old person saying they're not old, like I'm not old. I swear no, I know.

I know that, but I know what you're saying though, because it's so scary.

Also, I don't know how to fucking fix it either, you know what I was thinking about. I was like, damn, Like I really did take this year to be like my year of rest and relaxation, where like at the beginning of the year, I was like, I don't want to travel as much. I kind of want to just fucking chill and like fucking plant some roots for the year and like weather the storm and just like fucking chill,

Like That's how I've been feeling. And this is not to promote the usage of this boo. I know, I know, I know, that's literally I feel about I was watching that thing yesterday that was talking about nicotine and how it's bad for you, and I genuinely is looking at it. I was like, this means nothing to me, Like what are you telling me right now? It doesn't mean anything to me. It goes in one ear out the other, because when I are.

You demoting nicotine right now?

That's what I feel.

That's crazy.

You're crazy, but don't do it because any addictive habit that is not.

Healthy for you is bad for you.

But you know from my family line, you pick and choose, you're kind of get it. Yeah, but the mortality thing reminds me is I think you know more than anybody. I literally will convince myself something bad is going to happen.

And it's just like I have a good feeling. I have a good feeling. I have got feeling. I have a good feeling. But I had a moment at the airport that was so odd.

Okay, So I was sitting at my parents' house before I went to my flight, and I just had this like heavy feeling. I always get a heavy feeling before a flight.

Because I love you.

Yeah, I know, I like literally have convinced ourselves something bad it's gonna happen to me every time. Because now I have like a weird fear of planes.

But I mean not a weird fear. You watched plane crash compilations for like six well.

Now and now I'm like composed simply attached to the idea that I'm like something.

I just know, I know, I know, like you can't convince me, not whatever. That's a different thing.

But I was sitting there and I was like, Wow, what are the chances that I die naturally versus by accident whatever. So I look that up because I was really convinced that moment. I was like, damn, you know what. I don't think I'm gonna die of natural causes. I think I'm gonna be murdered or something like something really bad. It's gonna happen to me soon. And I'm like, something really bad is gonna happen to me? Before I turned twenty six, I just have this feeling.

I did write down something big is coming.

I like you to say, I did write down something bad happen.

So I looked that up and then I also have just like PTSD from loss whatever, like boo boo boo.

Everyone has that.

Every time I say bye to my family or my friends, I'm also genuinely convinced knock on Wood Live, that is going to be the last time I'm going to see them, Like it's a big thing for me. But this time when I was saying by to my family, I like shockingly didn't sob like I teared up, but I usually like sob on the way to the airport, and this time I just teared up a little. But then that made me feel really weird because I was like something deeper is happening right now, but I'm not gonna think

Blah blah blah.

Again, I was just like, but let me rest, because I don't feel like anxiety I usually feel about this. I feel so weird. I got to the airport and when I got on the tram to go to my terminal, there was a man in the tram who his vibe

But I felt such an eerie calm.

About it I've been doing where I was like, I literally started telling myself, I was like, wow, all these times I've been so fearful of like my ending in my doom, But maybe when it comes to me, I will feel like this, I'll just feel so calm and accepting the life that I've had, and I'm so grateful for the life that I had, And like literally like thinking like that convinced this man with me alone on the train is gonna fucking kill me.

And then obviously he didn't kill me. He's just a fucking freak and he definitely got in trouble.

Because why are you wearing a spider man mask like fully covering your face at the airport.

But that's dis I.

Try to think about like all the time, though, is like literally what if like all of the stupid things like me like drinking, like mixing alcohol and ambient and fucking percoset all at once when I was like seventeen years old and like blackout drunk and sitting on the floor laying there and like my whole body vibrating. I'm like, what if I literally did die there? And like all of these moments where like I like am like what if I died? Like what if I did die in

Because that's something you think about, is like giving head in the afterlife?

Yeah, yeah, Like I guess you by nature, So it's like.

Sipricate, Like I literally just mac bobs. I'm a man, I'm literally a mine.

Yeah really morbid open.

Yeah, I know we're literally gonna have to put a trigger warning, Like the title is just trigger warning. Hey guys, like and subscribe. But I do have something I want to talk about that could fix everything. I really do think this would fix everything for it. So you know those videos of the staircases and they have the glass jar down, yes, and you have like the soda is also the beer, like literally every single time, the beer bottle is gonna get it, Like the beer bottle is

I still don't understand TikTok income.

So they implemented like this new feature where like if your video is a minute long, like your CPM, which is how much money you make per one thousand views skyrockets. It goes like incredibly high, like if the video is one minute long and based off the people around me, and like collecting that data, the statistical data in my

You know where they're filming needs because I feel like they're in like somewhere deep in Europe, yeah, they're all like they're all for.

I feel like a lot of them are foreign, like from out of America. Which also I don't know if the CPM rates are the same, but sometimes they're higher, like I can see like where the CPM rates are higher, and like in Europe, I get paid more per thousand views. I don't know. It's it's really interesting. But basically, all that's to say that, like you, one thing about Enya is she's gonna spill, like she's gonna cause a big mess. We're back. We're back. We're really really back. We're happy.

Yeah.

But yeah, so we can fix everything wrong in our lives if we start pouring bottles of opaque liquid downstaircases with marbles inside. I really love the nail ones. I love the nail ones with the and the glass beer bottles. I swear to God every every time they just they like like, there's really good.

It's the carbonation. They gotta start.

They have to implement like like Mexican cokes, like glass coke bottles.

Topo Chico.

Oh, a Topo Chico would fu No A Topo Chico would.

Be literally bomb. It would like also I have another fix for us. I think what I'm gonna start doing is like intentionally falling on like sidewalks or like asphalt or whatever and giving myself no no, no, yes, but I'm gonna give myself like cuts on my knees, like you know, and then I'm gonna go to the bathroom really quickly after and pour hydrogen peroxide and alcohol into my just so I can feel something like And I think that will get us back in tune with our bodies.

Yeah, I was thinking, like maybe we need like acupuncture or something.

I don't know.

Well, no, yeah, when I need to see a psychiatrist and like get on medication. But I don't want to rely on big Parma, Like I don't want to be a part.

Of big Parma.

That's still one of the best things I've ever said.

The Kardashian's pushing dairy Like that will always be I will never forget. That was one of the first moments where I was high where I was like I'm really seeing through the veil, like I am seeing past the other side, Like they are brainwashing, evil.

Evil, They're brainwashing us to drink milk, Like all of it is so evil I'm.

Back to milk though low key like I live.

Yeah, I'm like back to dairy fully and I've been back to dairy like I've always been a cheese eater, Like I've always been a cheesy girl.

Yeah, like I'm a cheesy girl.

Dude in the best fucking cheese. Oh my god, I had it back in Texas is to pick between your toes after you haven't washed your feet in like weeks and just like fucking get that. That's what you were gonna say for skin cheese. O my god, a little bit. I don't have for skin. I want my foreskin back. We can get you some, you really can. You can. You can like get it back.

Yeah, but it's.

Just not the same, Like it doesn't have all the same like nerves, nerve endings and whatnot.

Maybe that's what you should put your money towards investing, because like you can make a whole.

Company and the like acts the blind boxes and make foreskins.

Just do foreskins.

It's like there's so many companies like that that like prey upon people who just have like a different perception of reality.

Like in John Wilson, did you watch it? No, you didn't watch it. But this doesn't get up with that show. Oh my god, this doesn't give show sucks. What is your issue sucks?

Bro? Well, this doesn't give much away about this episode, but the last episode it's talking about like this company that claims it will freeze your body and your brain so that in one hundred years I'll take you back to life.

Whatever.

There's no proof it works, whatever, but so many people do it, and it's really expensive, like it's like one hundred and fifty thousand dollars just to start, and then that doesn't count on like I think paying off your tube that your body stays in.

When do you freeze yourself at what point in your life?

It's when you die, so when you die, your.

Body will come back as an elderly, nasty, fucking gross.

Well, I think if you got yourself and you signed up where you would live like this. So it depends on how committed you are. But some people just keep their head because they're like, I want a new body, and people will like arrange that they get each other's body. Bitch, I'm getting somebody with a huge part. It's a huge butt and a big vibrator.

Yeah that sounds lit. I mean back, like in the future, we'll probably have like vibrating penis attachments cyborgs, Like we're literally gonna we're already like becoming cyborgs, like like literally like we literally already are And like, oh bitch, I forgot about this, but like that whole elon musk neuralink, I swear to God the I'm gonna be one of the first people to get it. And he it got cleared for like FDA trials, and I lied on them and said I was like met the requirements so I

We can make you blind.

Yeah, I'm gonna get neuro alink. I'm gonna change the world.

Like next time the jewel spits in my mouth, I'll just spit it into your eyes blindly.

Okay, what else? So I got Okay, I have I need lotion. So in the last episode, we were talking about POMPEII, Right, tell me why I literally predicted the next natural world disaster the volcano in Europe. You ever heard about that.

Yeah, you fucking wouldn't shut up in the group chat and nobody said anything. Get in the group chat, I'd give his dooms day report and then disappear. Yeah, you literally come into the group tat give a doomsday report and then like.

Lee, Yeah, well no one inquires about it. So I just did. But like if you would enquire about it, I have a lot of knowledge. The second the world second. So there's a caldera of volcanoes in Italy, around Italy. I think it's the second most powerful earthquake if it were to explode behind Yellowstone. We all know about Yellowstone, Like that shit's going to be the end of humanity in fifty thousand years. That shit's not even going to explode.

What if I put a bomb in Yellowstone? Though? Would that shake something up and make something happen or would it just be.

Like I mean maybe if like the earthquake was strong enough, it could. But yeah, just know Italy, Europe, like you're down tremendously bad. Winter is coming, Like in our lifetime, there's gonna be a We thought it was going to be a nuclear winter, but it's going to be a volcanic winter. The soot in the ash it's launched in the atmosphere is going to create like a big cloud that stays over Earth and it's just gonna get really cold and Sun's not gonna be able to penetrate to it,

That's it. That's all you have to say is good luck.

I don't think we have anybody who lives in like Italy and stuff who listens to us, Like I can't imagine.

I mean, it's gonna affect the whole world. Oh but I mean.

I think they're so far from Italy though.

It's a big fucking volcano, like how big, like big as fuck, like.

Like as big as a city.

Like it's like it's big as It's actually funny, they have like cities right on the edge, and I think they started evacuating some of those cities or they had like a seventy two hour evacuation plan in place, because it's become active again. It's what's the big city at the very tip of the boot. It's like name name a time, I know.

There's like Sicily and Milan.

Might be Milan, but no, that's it.

I don't them know.

In Italy, let's look it up. Bologne. There's a fucking city called Bologne. I have no damn whether there's not a city. I think it's Naples. Yeah, yeah, it's Naples.

Damn.

You know what's fucked up is I was supposed to go to Italy this summer, and since I didn't, this is probably why it's happened.

The place is mad. No, I went to Spain and Portual Portugal.

Second quake in days volcano. Ooh guys, it's.

Literally ubba Wait was there another earthquake there?

Yeah, they've had like a few there, which is why everyone's kind of like worried. They're like, it's called a I don't know how to say it, campy flagreer g camp flog. Now, yeah, the people jumping for Tyler set is going to like cous an earthquake. What do you have to say? Do you got anything?

Yeah? Actually I have a lot to say to you because I'm Pissa too. No, but I I do want to give my conspiracy theory.

Everybody got that nationwide alert this week and they weren't clear about why we were getting the alert.

I didn't read what it was because I was like, you literally can't.

It was just a test.

Yeah, it was like a test of the system, but they weren't saying why. They were like, oh, they're just testing out the new wireless system for like to see if we ever had a national emergency, if we needed to send something out. Bitch, be clear, it's because y'all think we're gonna get fucking bombs, Like nuclear bombs are headed our way soon, and you just want to like like test it out so that the country can be like, well, we we had a system to tell our citizens it's

Know, Like I can't to spend the last moments of my evacuate where where the fuck am I gonna run? Bitch, I'm gonna outrun a nuclear blast.

Yeah.

No, I'd rather just be in peace and silence and not know that my death was upon me, or that like the destruction of everything I know in love was upon I'd rather just be at home highest fuck playing Fortnite, just in my own little world, doing my silly little thing. And then it was split of an eye, like like in the blink of an.

Eye, because I'm done.

I don't want to live.

How are you surviving?

Obam is not going to kill me?

Can we get in the fridge or is that a myth?

That's a myth? I think not with that fridge at least, I think it has to be one of the Schmegma of fridges.

The Smeg ones, the ones in Nuketown. Like, I'm not kidding you, I just thought of that because I was thinking of the call of duty Nuketown.

I was like, what survived like the Smeg the house has survived.

In nuket like five thousand dollars coffee maker and survive.

In my in the Smeg toaster.

Yeah, yeah, but that.

Was something I had to say. And then also, I don't know if you saw, but we were tagged a million and ten times in the video of like it was like every gay household or something.

Ends up watching automatically. Don't give a fuck.

I know that sounds like why are we being tagged in this? But it was like, fuck, wait now I need to find it. But it was that group of kids watching telephone and it was like every gay group ends up doing this at the end of the night. And we got tagged in it so many times because we've been.

So vocal about how often we do that, But genuinely, what is it about gay people and telephone? Like that music video?

Because we were showing it to friends and they hadn't seen it and they were our straightest friends.

It was a cultural awakening, Like we were all on tumbler when that shit happened, like it was it was literally a vibe. You just had to been there, Like if you weren't there, I'm sorry you will never have the emotions attached to it that we do. But it was a very very important moment. I did see one where.

It was gay people love sitting around and watching music videos? Y, what is it about gay people and music video?

I'm straight and I like that shit.

We're breaking the code, like so.

It's like groundbreakers, we're earth shadowers. We broke the glass.

Called me the volcano in Italy because I'm about to erupt all over you and shake the world.

Call me the volcano in Italy because I'm about to erupt my jim all over you and after you blow me up.

But it is because we are you discussing because we showed that video and I was shocked that they had never.

Seen that music video, like group of friends, especially because like a bunch of them worked in music and they hadn't seen the telephone video.

And I was like, wow, this is really crazy. This is also the same friends.

Every time we mentioned rufe Haul like it literally is like cricket.

Like silence, like that girl rupel stilt Skin. I love rupel stilt Skin's hag race. But Queen, there was another thing. Oh I saw a video where it was like all ban Beyence fans, all Beyonce fans know this moment and know this moment like is a stain on her career, and we look away in solidarity. And it's during the super Bowl performance when she's not hitting her mark. She hits her mark every time, but she's lying outside everything.

Yeah, her standards for herself are so high.

Yeah, exactly.

I want to see her again, but I think the show, the Renaissance tour is over, like it just.

Finished, which is heartbreaking.

Oh I hate that she did Europe first, because I'm like, damn, we could have went to Europe, saw the volcano, saw Beyonce It.

I do still need to stand next to active volcano shooting.

Right now, like I need it because of this fire of love.

Yeah, fire is love.

Love is blind.

Love is blind. Wait, my throat actually hurts. Oh my god, get the fuck away from I mean, you literally are sick. Josh got you sick, and now I'm sick, like this is the worst day of my life.

No, it's because I gave you that crazy headline.

Dennis can tell if you got gave head Yeah, it like gives you little tiny hickeys in the back of your throat on this soft palette. So they can tell. They can tell because you'd be sucking like like crazy but.

Like real, because I was sucking a dent out of a car door.

Okay, So we did talk about this in the last episode very briefly, but I want to revisit it and have a different take.

I could suck an olive through a syringe. Okay, keep going.

I love how accessible music has gotten. Like I know, we talked about how annoying and bad it can be, but like I literally just love the idea of can make it like a working person like going and making music in their garage with their friends and then posting it and then like hitting the fucking lottery and like Spotify putting them on and just like like literally everyone I know has like some sort of like music career. Like it's it's really actually cool, but it's also damaging

Beyonce is our last, like Mega super Icon.

I think like the Weekend is pretty pretty damn Mega.

But I mean like Beyonce, it's just performer, Like the Weekend is just scary, Like he's just scary.

Something about him is scary speak you know what I mean though, Like she's like dancing, moving, floating.

Like she's literally hitting all's hitting all the mark.

Yeah. Also, all of the people saying Beyonce's concert was stamonic, you're very wrong. She had God behind her. I felt this happiness and like this contentness and excitedness that a demon could not get me.

Maybe that's what we need, we need, like you know when people need God. Yeah, that's what I would say.

Like when people talk about how they were just in their lowest moment, they asked for a sign.

They got the sign, and now they believe it. God, that's what we need. But that's.

I don't believe in Christianity. Fuck Christianity. I love you if you are a Christian. But there is a God. There is a God. It's probably a fucking alien fourteen year old boy and wears a science experiment or some shit. But like, there is some God. And what if God literally is an inanimate object? Like what if God is like antimatter like the.

Article God is a woman?

Way, No, that's impossible, because she would be in the kitchen, wouldbe she did cook us.

She would be too emotional to like run the world.

Yeah up, God, she would blow it up like with nukes and shit, she get on her period and have a PMS attack and blow up the Well. Literally, you can't let girls kim not be in power. Well, so I'm thinking about trying an insel, trying out being an insel. You are, no, I'm voluntarily celibate, Yeah, involuntary celibate. I think I'm gonna like really fuck myself up in a crazy way and like want sexually bad but like never get it. Become an in.

Cell but I think you're just too attractive for that to happen.

No, ye, keep going. Do you think I'm like attractive?

Like even if you made yourself like look ugly or something. Though, I think if somebody met you, they would just be like, Wow, I need to get to know him, and through all that I can see.

That he's sexy.

You really think that? Yeah, No, I think I'm ugly.

Are you digging for compliments right now?

No? No, no, Yeah, you're right, I'm ugly.

I didn't say you're ugly. I said you were sexy.

Well, you know what's crazy is you're you're like least liked era of yourself is my when I thought you were the most attractive when you had like long hair in New York.

I think that was to me, you're like sexiest Ara.

My Conan Gray era.

Yeah, you're I saw a video of Conan and Olivia and I was like, they are literally us.

In twenty twenty one. Wait, I didn't send it to you, but we'll insert it. Give me a second. Come on, guys, I got a lot on this phone.

I hate that when you look up something on your phone on your iPhone, like I look up TikTok, and it shows me the first TikTok I ever saved.

On this Oh oh my god. Wait no, we need to invent something called tittok, and it's TikTok for porn.

It's tits.

There's chick took, big fucking oiled up towerkin asses and booties everywhere, and fucking takes.

There's already so many. But this is literally us in twenty twenty one. That's how your hair looked.

It literally is that she has longer hair.

I love Olivia, and one thing about me is I love Olivia Rodrigo. I ride for her if I was out, And this is a made up scenario because no one in their right mind would ever like do this to this woman. But if I was out and I saw somebody bullying Olivia Rodrigo, I beat the fuck out of them and I would beat the fuck out of them, and then I would pick her up like a little princess and take her somewhere safe and be like, oh my god, you're an angel, like I love you so much,

Nineties and early two thousands music only.

But I love her so much. I think she's doing everything so right. I stand her like I literally stand her. I will never not watch content of her like.

And it's listening to I don't know what song.

It is, it's uh, I want to I wanna get it back good.

Yeah, And he's been listening to that song on fucking repeat like it was all that would play in the car and repeat. Also that Agora Hills by Doge.

Dodgy Dog Cat Dog Cats.

Okay, I think DOJ is back, like I think she's back, and I love her.

It's because no one can deny like music. Like if you make good music, it really does. Just like cross it turns says anything like you can try all that demon ship all you want, bitch, but like people want to hear that ship Like that.

Means cat to come on here, like I just went do Cat is sitting next to you and like us talking.

She would actually sit on my lap or she would be like glued to the fucking like a demon.

I was gonna say something so gross, and I was like, right, all right, these are these are real people, right, these are real people, and that is harassment. Okay, wow yeah right.

No, but like literally painted tone red like I'm about to paint steal that.

It's gonna be the town. He said something annoying to me, I'm gonna figgle your f.

What are you on about? You're crazy?

When he said something new to me as like I'm gonna figure your butt, do you please?

I was like, I don't give a fuck, Like I'm into that type of ship. But doja cats stole paint the town red from me and Joe side because we painted the town pink and green. We painted a green green.

Saturday actually get a pison ship by some of the Beatles.

Stock Yeah, but yeah, finger my butt. I don't give a fuck.

Oh.

But we did start a conversation that we never really fully finished.

Which is the whole podcast ever, No, but not.

In this podcast, like a few days ago, but we were talking about our siblings and like that generation in general, and how like kids that age now like that grew up from their conception with like a phone like iPad. Babies that grew up with technol are like like smart as fuck, but also like they have like literally like statistically lower like reading in grade averages like teah, I see a bunch of people, like teachers complaining about how like their sixth graders are reading at a second grade

And you were saying the same thing about your siblings, Like my little siblings are getting to that point where I'm just like not that interesting to them. And it's because we used to have this relationship with the younger people in our family where they would look at us and think, wow, these people have like places that we grew up.

They have it together.

They're living such nice lives and they're making it for themselves. They have a little bit of attention online and that was like something to look at and be like, wow, that's cool. But now they see everything all the time on their phone, so it takes so much to make their It literally is gonna be so hard for them to get serotonin and like dopamine boost in real life because they're so used to getting it on their phones. And that's kind of what I like, like related to my siblings.

Used to be so.

Satisfied with just leaving the house with me and going to fucking Target, and now that literally sounds so fucking boring to them.

We went by the exact same thing.

Yeah, Like I mean, like it's like a it is teenagers just not wanting to be around their family and being like I'd rather be inside. But the difference is now they're like, why would I leave the crib if I can get literally all the human connection I can get through my fucking iPhone, Like I don't need to go out and like go roam around the mall because I can roam around Amazon Prime.

Also, like uh Me and Kai have talked about this, like but there's this idea that like their generation like is gonna grow up using the Internet through avatars. I think we've like talked about this before, but like it like like so you and I are like cringey to them, like they're they're like, why would you show your face and use your real name on the Internet. That's fucking cringe.

You know what's fucked up is last night when we were watching Love Is Blind. I almost was like, we should just hit double speed for the first uninteresting episodes and then get to it. I did. But O'Ryan was talking about The Sopranos last night and how she has a hard time watching the first season, and Christian was.

Say, skip it.

I almost made a comment and was like, I wish you could just watch it in double speed, because you should watch through the first season if you could just get through it. I only have three episodes of The Sopranos left. I know everybody is like, damn, bit, you've been watching this ship for two years.

You don't know my business, so fuck you. Yeah, first of all, and second of all, I'm savoring it.

Okay, I'm being gang stocked. You've always thought that I'm being gang stocked by my ops.

Oh, but I was thinking, you know what it is, too is because kids see it as cringy because just the idem perception of celebrityism has changed so much. We grew up putting our face to things and stuff because celebrityism used to be such a smaller bubble, so it felt like you had to be fully present to be a part of it. And now celebrityism has become so large that people are just like, also, it's just become

So it's a good thing. Don't get me wrong. I literally think that is a good thing. Like, yeah, I like, although like I am happy where I'm at like my life would be so I would be so much like more baseline and like quote unquote normal if I didn't grow up posting myself to the Yeah, young.

People just shouldn't be posting themselves in general, because you're going through such a tumultuous change period in your life to be posting that. I've always had this problem too with oversharing on the internet. I think I've said it here before. I understand that there is a double edged sword. There's some good parts, there are some bad parts of it, but I've always felt it was unhealthy. Like get ready

Get ready with me to go to my grandma's funeral.

Yeah, get ready with me to go and pull the plug on my mother? Like what are we talking about? This is such a traumatic you need to be dealing with it offline and then you could come back once you've grown and gone through it.

But we need to get ready with me to get ready with me to work?

Oh yeah, yeah, I'm gonna say people are lacking empathy in their personal lives, so then they have to go to the internet to find it. But the problem with that is then you open the door to so many evil, fucking, conniving content on the Internet who use it to be awful and shaming and judgmental and whatever.

That's a whole other thing, but I do agree we need to do.

Get ready with me to go to the torquathon, get ready with me to finger my buck, get ready with me to fuck your mom.

I was gonna say, so, you know how there's like wet t shirt contests, like oh, like I'm gonna spray you with the water gun and your shirt's wet and you can see through it. Oh my god, you're like so hot. I'm over that shit, bro.

I need how many have you gone to that You're over it?

Like I can count on two hands. What I need is the wet head like wet brain contests where you spray women with knowledge and books and throw books at them.

Yeah, it's like stoning but with books.

Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, And it's just like it's like, oh, your mind is so wet and juicy, Like I love the way you.

Yeah, let me figure your There's definitely a picture somewhere of somebody like fingering.

Oh there's that was like one of the ogs I posted on my meme account, like let me finger your brain instead something fell behind you. I just don't want it to like.

Step my phone.

Okay, so I have.

Let's do one more topic.

Okay, okay, I have one.

If you can't find one, I.

Have a bunch. I'm just trying to pick up You're pick me. Okay. So one thing that is gonna make me cry without fail every time is someone getting the golden buzzer on American Idol, like or whatever America's got talent, Like one thing.

Yeah, I know what you mean though, like somebody who obviously, like isn't a popular person at school or in their like day to day life.

Yes, and is a.

Little awkward, but they're on that stage seeing their fucking head off.

Yeah it is.

It's probably also one of the most validating feelings ever. But then it's also probably one of the worst things ever, because.

How do you match that moment you life?

How do you break beyond American Idol like nobody does? Can't?

Yeah, you don't, especially anymore, Like I'm always so shocked when those shows are still a thing, because I'm like, who are the people who are winning? Because I've never been like.

Oh, my god, no, Kelly Clarkson.

Kelly Clarkson, Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey was far beyond them before that.

I oh, you know Mariah Carey, My god, well, I didn't know she was indeed like that, Oh I got.

I asked my little sister, who just turned from if she knew Mariah Carey songs, and she said she didn't, and her and her friend were like, we don't listen to fucking Mariah Carey. And I was like, and I started playing it and I was like, does this sound old too? And she's like, yeah, this sounds really old?

Whoa will we Scar? She's old as fuck?

Like they don't listen to Michael Jackson either.

I get that one. But I did have that same thought where I was like, damn, like we're starting to like Drake is gonna be vintage soon?

Like that's weird if he like actually fucking shuts up, which she.

Should vintage Drake. I feel like I should talk about this because it's not gonna be relevant relevant next week. So Taylor Swift is seeing someone new and.

She has it. She hasn't she.

It's like, yeah, she doesn't fucking apologize and I'm.

But what I'm saying is, how does that still hurt?

Not her? I'm not hurt. I just said I was not hurt. But it's weird seeing a person you loved and love and have love for be with someone else.

Like it's so, why do you still have a thing for her when y'all were like together, when you were like sixteen.

I guess she wrote a song about now. Yeah, she wrote a song about me. Yeah, she wrote Drew looks at me like.

She just stop the fucking epidemic that's unraveling online that y'all are going on tiktoks with let the light in and commenting Drew let the.

Light in, let her the light.

No, I think she said, and you, Drew, you drove. No. I do think she actually said drew the light in in that video, but it sounds like she's saying let the light in. But it could be like that Dreen Needle Laurel.

Yeah.

No, I think she says let the light in, and people someone just calment to that.

We listen to it because I swear to God, I heard drew the light in first before you send down. I was like, damn, Like, there's so many people in on this joke. By I will say, although it hurts, I'm happy for Taylor because she is dating one of the hottest people I've ever seen in my entire life. Travis Kelsey, if you're listening to this, also your brother, No, literally, your older brother, Travis. I think it's Jason Kelsey. I don't know his name. Let me look, ok at Elsie e brothers.

Uh oh, it.

Literally is Jason. Holy shit, Jason, Jason Kelsey. Call me. I'm dead serious.

Call me.

We have some things to talk about, and I want you.

Sorry.

I'm like less than Travis. Travis is ugly compared to Jason. I'm dead fucking serious.

No, I can't.

You'll agree, You'll literally agree. Let me see. Look this fucking lineup, bro.

Let alone, excuse me. I just can't tell.

We need to get to the bottom of this. Let us let us know if you somehow hear this, let us know. What's their name?

Haley?

Haley?

Doja cat's pinky toe?

Oh?

My trust, my trust hurts. Don't play with me. He's disgusting, he's fine.

That's the one. Taylor's yeah, he's fine.

Yeah.

So I mean, honestly, like either one like hit me up, like fuck you Taylor because she's left. She broke my heart and then she took my eye like I've had a fucking Also, why did Taylor put Travis Kelsey on the map because he was not like any good?

Okay, let's go in to me.

Let's go too, let's go.

I want to be where you are, Marvin Gay. Ok Wait, that's weird, Marvin Drew.

It's Marvin Oh, okay, I want to.

Be where you are Marvin Drew.

I never realized that was his Wow.

See you later.

I'm gone by Robert Lester Folsom and Agora Hill's Dogie Cat.

And that's it. Honestly.

My media is Love Is Blind season five. Love Is Blind is a terrible fucking show. You cannot convince me otherwise, But season five that's good TV. I love this.

I'm literally gonna start it when we.

Episode. It's so fucking messy and like drama, and like all of the other ones are like happy, like I don't want to see people fall in love, like I don't want to see that, like I need drama. I need like filth, I need anger, I need like lying, I need fucking conniving, like I just need it all and that's all you get from my.

Maybe mine is also all about my mother. Such a good movie.

I love Pedro, Amoldlobar and Hands Maiden, which I watched on a plane, And.

Don't watch that on a plane. It's like it's literally like watching like Broke Back Mountain on a plane. Remember when that was just like on the plane, like they were crazy.

I watched it like thirty six times when I was telling oh.

I still have been seen Broke Back Mountain. I just know that their sex. I'm about to ship myself.

I'm not even gonna lie. Okay, well, I still have to do Drew Sye up Corner. You've already left once. You should have shot it when you had to do that. Okay, Okay, we're doing Drew Sye up Corner.

Okay, Okay, okay.

Myself, Okay, h five nights at Freddy's. Nah, you need five nights with some bitches.

Sis.

Stop smelling his dick to see if he got pussy. It's twenty nineteen. Oh wait, it's twenty twenty three. You got to turn him over and smell his ass to see if he got dick. Weird shit turns me off, Like, why are you following Instagram on Instagram.

Instagram having a cow?

Yes, they posted me and they haven't verified you. Yeah, they and they still haven't fucking verified me. I don't even want that blue check. That shit's bullshit. Anyways. I don't give a fuck about the blue check.

My blue chuck got it for.

So long, Okay, Like I don't even want it. So like, I don't know what you're saying. Enya's vagina is not a kitty. That shit, How did I say it? How do I say this? Inya's vagina is not a kitty. That shit is not purring. That's a chainsaw and it's revving up.

Yeah, because we were in the car and I was talking about how sexy my bet was and I was like, bitch, my fucking pussy was weriving like a VA engine.

Like I was like, oh, I was not talking about the bat.

Never mind, Hey boy, he listens. Just because I cheated on you doesn't mean you got to cheat on me back. Be a leader, not a follower. Okay, one more. This one's a flop and I know it but I'm just gonna give.

It to you anyone when the first one wasn't a flop.

The first one fucking ate down. What are you talking about? I got people quote that shit for life.

Now.

Old people give you five dollars and say, grandson, get a girl, get a special girl a lemonade. No, Grandma, these girls want perks. Give me forty dollars.

A perk is only forty dollars.

It's like one high for like four hours. And some people have to buy like eight a day.

That's ten dollars an hour.

When I was down tremendous a bit, I'm not getting into that.

Yeah, I don't do that.

Wait, should I give them one song? I'll give them one song, and one song only is money time, motherfuckers all around me, Clouds up Air Olson, Boards of Canada. I've just been boards, and when I go off to Texas, I just to love Boards of Canada like it's so bad, make love Daft Punk Aquarius, Boards of Canada. I want Dave and Cowboy Boards of Canada. Riverman Nick Drake, Oh sweep, Well.

Thank you guys for watching three