Child Stars, Complaining, Conspiracy Theories

Okay, welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercom.

I now have the urge to say, emergency inner Cuomo. I mean, is Governorent Cuomo? Is he is that New York? Did he resign or he stepped down?

Yeah?

He said it last episode. Didn't he get like called out for some like sus ship or am I tripping? That's a different There's too many politicians getting called out for some weird shit they do behind doors to keep up.

There's too many people.

I feel like today I look like like a girl who started using Tumblr. And then for like the holiday party at school, I was like, I'm not gonna wear a dress because women girls shouldn't be expected to always wear dress. I'm different, and I wear like a button up and I'm like, but I wear my red lipstick to feminize it. And I was in and I'm in a Taylor Swift era.

You are in a Taylor Swift era.

I think everyone everyone's just having a dabble back into Taylor because good marketing. I guess it's not even marketing. It's like she literally had to rerecord her album. That's like not marketing, that's like hell, but you know what they worked out for her. I saw TikTok yesterday that I was talking about all the trademarks she owns and

Fearless Taylor's version, Taylor's version ts Folklore levers Fest, A girl named the girl Swift Miss.

Yeah Swift, Miss Swift six was one.

I was like you station Swifties tale. Oh my god. He Moji okay, I drew Moji coming very soon. Moji has been coming soon for four years. Drew Moji is dropping very soon, y'all. I'm really excited. It's in its final stages of development. It's coming soon. I just wanted to put that out.

I actually randomly brought up Kemoji. Came up with a group of friends all the day and I brought up Drewmoji and they were all so confused. It was like a group of friends who like didn't know and I just I just showed the fidget to them and they go, oh okay.

It's like, that's like the reaction i'd expect to get out of literally anybody who doesn't know who I am.

Oh okay, that is a lot of your life. It's like, hmm, I still can't believe the fucking rant you went on about aliens in the last episode.

I rant about aliens. It was it about space. And see, now I'm triggered, and now I'm gonna be havingisential existential thoughts all day. So fall you know what, I'll just I'll keep my mouth shut. I'll keep my mouth shut.

You're just gonna take a vow of silence on the podcast.

I forgot I was taking a valis lence you.

When was it that you took a vow of silence? And all of us were so annoyed.

I don't know when was it or what was it?

When was it?

There was like a couple months ago. I just sat in the car silent, and I was like, I'm taking a vius vow of silence, and everyone was so pissed, and I was like, wow, man, like it really is incredible. It's it's insane how much value I add to the conversation because when I'm silent, everybody's mad that I'm silent because I'm just not.

Okay, You're exaggerating the fuck out of it. We were all like, girl, fuck you, and we just kept talking and then at some point you enjoined the conversation.

Well no, because it was like actual anger I felt directed at me. So I was like, you know what, maybe I am being a little annoying, but.

You were being so fucking annoyed because you weren't even taking a proper vowel of silence. You kept saying like, I'm in my vow of silence.

I'm in my valot silence there right now, Like you can't talk to me, and like y'all would ask me questions and I would literally ignore you all, but I would I would answer them in my head.

I literally think we were driving you somewhere you needed to go, and I think I was asking you questions about going there and you weren't answering it. And that's why I was pissing me off, because I was like, bitch, I'm literally taking you somewhere.

Don't talk to a man in his silent era. That's all out. That did you learn that lesson?

You know what needs top And what I learned is more men should enter a silent era because for that moment in time, I.

Felt the world was a little more peaceful.

I felt I knew people well.

I think women and females should be more silent.

Like, you know what's crazy is like growing up, I heard like female a lot, and like it was just so normal to me. Now as an adult, I'm like being called a female is like disrespectful. Yeah, like because someone made a good point on TikTok again, because that's where I get all my information and like, okay, can.

I say something before it piggybacks off of that? Yes, I was telling Kai I forgot to say this in the last episode. But a lot of the time I will like be like, oh, I was like reading this article. Like I was reading this article and it was talking about this information and it's literally a TikTok, but I saw that was three minutes long. I don't I actually do read, but like I actually do read shit, but

Yeah, it immediately invalidates the information in some way. But you know, what I've realized is like gaining or garnering opinions and takes from TikTok is no different than like a lot of information we know is things friends have taught us and like told us. At least for me, that's like how I know a lot about it it, well know a lot about a lot of things is through friends. So like TikTok is in that different, except there are chaos agents who are like that's spread in

I'm afraid I might be on my last leigh. I can feel it coming. I'm not very boots anymore. The house is burning in that and not a good way.

Saying not a good way.

Fuck.

Oh. But someone was like being called female so disrespectful because like you could be a female anything, you could be a like that's almost referring you as like an animal and like less than a human.

Female dog a bitch.

Yeah, but fun, what was the thing people used to say as kids, where it was like, yeah, I'm a bitch.

Like or like I'm a bitch, I'm a bus and I sounded like gloves. Why I was about to say that, I was about to say that, I don't know why that's in my brain.

Because this morning you were trying to sing the little Dirk song. Is that Little Dirk? That's like I did my dance one time on TikTok went viral wit Drew literally said I did what that my dance on tiktoking one time?

It was even worse than that. I was like, I did I danced on TikTok and went viral for it, or something like I'm just dumb as ship, Like we.

Should do a full episode where it's just me playing songs that I know you love, like playing them for five seconds and then seeing if you could even repeat the lyrics.

We'll do that on Patreon.

True, because I'm here to get We had our first fucking episode get demonetized because Drew Fakes sucked the mic. But now I'm scared because last episode I feel like might get demonetized too because we said wiener. But in proper terms, I'm.

Like they are coming after me. I got age restricted on my fucking YouTube channel, like.

Oh, your whole channel got aged.

No, no, no, but the last two videos did. And I don't even know why the last one did. I did not make any jokes at all in the very last one, but it got age restricted. I repealed it, appealed it.

Nope, it's because it's sexy. TikTok okay. Actually TikTok hates my TikTok counts. There's not a day that goes by that as I'm posting, I don't get a video taken down and get restricted from posting for a week.

Damn.

And it started with my fucking collarbones. I would be in bed fully covered by my sheets and I'm not kidding, my collarbones were out, not even like a sign of boob, Like yeah, I almost look like I don't have boobs in those kind of videos when I'm laying down, and like, what were you gonna say?

It's it's like, actually fucked up. Have you ever tried to suck your own boob before?

Yeah?

Everyone has, Okay, I was about to say, because every dude has tried to suck their own wiener And I was like there's something you said worship on the podcast, and that makes you feel like that, why did that come to my brain? Have you? But yeah, I feel like.

Imagine me laying down in my boob, falling in my mouth because you don't understand how yes, I have.

I remember, it's just curiosity.

I remember when in like seventh grade was around the first time where I like saw anything like porn related, and I remember in one of those videos, this girl was sucking her home boob and I was like, what the fuck? And mind you no boobs in seventh grade? And I remember trying really hard on them, being really upset because I didn't have boobs, and that was a big thing for me growing up, is like I never had boobs, and now I have them, and I want them gone and I hate them.

I can take care of that.

I remember I used to stuff my bra. I was one of those girls where like my friend gave me one of her old bras because she was growing rapidly and so she escaped me her old fucking bra and I did not anywhere near phil it. So I would stuff my bra because I remember one time in literally fourth grade, which is belligerent and makes no sense, that

Dude, kids are so fucking mean.

Yeah, I was just as mean though, and we've talked about that, so like, really, maybe I deserved it. Maybe Karma got it's kiss. Oh my god. Another thing, sorry, but another thing I just remembered is in seventh grade, this kid Brandon asked me out and my best friend at the time he asked me out, and I was like, no, like I don't want to go out with you, and I was like really nice about it because he was

But you're actually being nice.

Yeah, I was like, because he was so he was like one of the like chilliss Like, guys.

There's a lesson there. There is a little lesson lesson just like be nice to everybody all the time, because like it's like the boy who cried Wolf.

Like how is this connected to boy who cried Wolf?

Because the boy who cried Wolf was lying and then when he was telling the truth, like no one believed him. But like all the time you're mean, and when you're actually being sincere and nice, no one believed you. I guess no, because you know I'm right. I'm right.

I was curious where you're bringing because I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I was a bitch in school, but that's okay because now I'm a bitch behind closed stores and I'm nice to everyone.

In open space except for Kai.

No, I'm nice to Kai. I've been really nice to Kai before, Like no one believes that, but like I can think of nice things they've done for Kai.

Yeah, that's true. I can't.

So literally, in Josh Retreat, no one cared that Kai was passing away. Yeah, everyone cared, but no one was taking action. And Kai was literally passing away from dehydration and one.

Of the nicest things done for me in like a while.

And also it was right before my therapy, so I was like, oh am I going to push in. I was like, you know what, he needs this, So I went and got him pedia light so he didn't die.

That's really sweet.

I don't even remember if we saw you for the rest of the night. Oh yeah, then y'all stayed up fucking talking shit until five in the morning, and I like had to listen to all of it.

But it was like locker room boy talk.

That's what I genuinely thought it was. I thought they were talking. Can I say what I thought y'all were talking about. I don't even know if I told you. And I literally thought you were talking about giving head, like I like heart, And and then I was like I heard one of you making comments about how like, oh, yeah, I do it every time, And I was like, now, what the fuck are they out there lying about?

I was like, what I mean, that's not like an abnormal conversation for us to have that, Like we literally like talk about that with you, like.

Yeah, I know. And then I'd like shoot you all down and put you in reality. I'm like, men, okay, I've said this once and I said it before. Unless like some man who's taking a masterclass and eating pussy, you do not have to do that, like don't like, don't disrupt the piece. You're you're actually disrupting the piece, like you're like you're taking like feminism of like eight

Not licking the bowl clean.

Like literally I'm like it's not working.

Damn well, I was gonna like try to like think of it like a witty response. But I've like literally said all.

Of them, like, have you finally run out of like gross?

No, I have not. But just like in that case, I have, every girl I've been with has like commed easily. Actually, you know, the jacket's like you know the joke. It's like, oh, like men only last like two minutes. No, no, baby, no babes. Girls last thirty seconds with me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry about it. My sexuality is so confused online no one knows. And I'm gonna that's good.

That's good. You gotta keep them guessing.

I'm gonna keep it that way.

I will say, every time you talk about women, it sounds like you literally never looked at one for more than three seconds. He said, I've made all of all of the women in my life have camped. I believe that though you do you do.

Pearl, I can polish a good pearl. I can polish a good pearl, a pink pearl.

Fuck it, oh, just now on this one, fuck.

It, give me that damn bucket.

Okay, this is what we can talk about TikTok is the worst thing to happen.

And Okay, that's literally where I was going to go right after this. I was going to bring up the fact that TikTok is single handedly the worst thing to happen to the human race. I wholeheartedly agree with that it connected us in a way we never ever needed should have ever been this far connected. I don't know, literally, I just like I'm so passionate about it being the worst thing that ever happened that I literally can't even

I feel that part of me is like that's like kind of the only other social media app I use, Like I use that inside us, this in Instagram, and then like I barely touch YouTube other than podcasts, So I'm like, oh my god, like who would be paying attention to me? Though, Like that's like the only part of it which is like a bad thing, because like I what I will say too is, I don't know, I'm like kind of flip flop.

One.

The fun part about TikTok is it literally is just like fun bullshit for me, like because I'm like everything I post on IG, especially main feed posts, is kind of more curated and I take more time to think about it and work on making content for their for the most part, And then on TikTok, I can literally just sit on the couch when I'm bordi shit. But that's the problem is how easily you get sucked in. You can't just watch TikTok fucking yeah cycle, Like.

You can't just watch like TikTok's for fifteen minutes, Like it's like an hour long process every time you get on and then the yeah, like you said, the feed is literally in like with like apps like Vine and shit, like you could get to the end, like you could like reach the bottom and be caught up, but like TikTok is literally forever.

Because there's too many people on there.

And also like this is just real nerdy, weird shit, but like the algorithm is actually sinister, like it is diabolical like how it works, Like there's like parts of it that like this I was actually reading and you can go into my fucking history. I was actually reading about this, and I think you.

Have to prove something because you get all your TikTok, and folks.

I think Kai mentioned it to me as well, but I may be wrong. But like, there's a part of the algorithm that, like.

You you like, for a week, it gives you like really like happy content, like where you're like super happy, like it makes you feel good like you and the timeline might be different, it might be a day and the.

Cycles whatever, but like for a week, it gives you really happy content, like you're on top of the world, like you're you feel good, like you're seeing the shit you want to see. Like it's really like just genuinely like dopamine serotonin like hits to your brain every fucking time. I don't know which fucking feel good chemical comes from fucking scrolling on TikTok. God damn it. I don't need

I was trying to think about that, but I was like, I don't know what is considered like bad content, Like I'd rarely get content on my page that's it makes me sad or anything, But I guess the algorithm. But I don't think the algorithm does this on purpose. I think it thinks I want to see this because it has my name in it. But there have been tiktoks of dumb fucking fugly bitches talking shit about me that land on my four you page and I'm like, oh,

I'm like the girls are talking. You're using my name for views the girls are talking.

That's embarrassing. You should be fucking embarrassed. You should be embarrassed. Get a therapist. But yeah, that's the only time that shit's on my timeline that I'm like, what the fuck? I guess like there's like feel good, happy shit that makes me sad. What's her name? The I think her username is like a blogger something.

Fashion blogger, average fashion bok.

But she has a really funny TikTok about it where she fuck was it her and it's her and this other girl who were both like these white girls with freckles on their face that I kind of mistake for each other, But I think it was average fashion blogger. Yeah, it was where she like was like how TikTok feels it's her like crying, and then she like it looks like she scrolls. She's like like scrolling and she's like crying again.

That's literally what it does to your brain. This is your brain on TikTok, this.

Is your Oh that fucking old marijuana, marijuana, that old fucking fucking old ass that old weed uh commercial that we watched the other day when she was like why did I do this?

Yeah, she like steals money out of her mom's person. Shit that Dana was reposted.

I used to be such a Dare kid. I used to be one of those people that was like exactly, like weed is gonna fuck your life up and you're

It pretty, and weed is sometimes.

Fun and taste delicious.

We went to Medmen the other day, which is like a weed store in LA, and we got transdermal weed patches.

I just have not touched them. I was.

I got them because I was like, Okay, this is like taking it too far, Like how far can we actually go with like getting weed into our system, like transdermal patches that you put on like venus venus what is it? Venus venus areas on your fucking body and then you just get dosed with weed all fucking day long. I was like, this has to be like the end.

Right, So why would I want that on all fucking day?

It's freaked well, if it's a twelve hour high, We're.

Like, why would we want that? Literally the ones we got, Drew got a PURECBD one and then I got a three to one ratio.

And also and also they're not for us. They're for people in like chronic pain that like can't smoke weeds, so they put it on there.

I am in chronic pain mentally.

Mentally, Yeah, we haven't.

Charity yet and I have we have our honey, do you know what it is?

It's like again, I just I can't I say it so many times we spoke about it in like the last episode. I can't with weed because it just it feels like a big like project that I have to undergo. It feels like a chore and it feels like I have to like make space for it in my life, and like I get scared. I have to make space for in my life because there's a chance that it makes me feel like shit, and then I have to go to sleep, and.

Then I'm like, uh, I don't want to do it. Yeah, Like I'm scared of our which is also literally ten CBD.

It's tend CBD and two THAC, which, like if you're not familiar, is a very very low like the lowest dose, Like it's laughable.

Like I have friends who enjoy weed who like I'll offer them like our can drinks which have two milligram THHC, and they will literally laugh at me, Are you kidding me? Like why would I want that?

And I'm like that will make me feel worse. It's not enough THC.

Those things get me high off my fucking ass. I mean, Google got guy, laughing, I had a panic attack, and but we'll stop talking. We always like somehow like mention weed and how we're scared of it, so we'll just make sure we do like a Patriot episode where we get high and everyone can.

See you, so you can see us tweak the funk out. Like that's a good idea.

Like I've said before, I'm like lucky enough for I'm like yeah, but I will say if Drew starts tweaking next to me, like I will fully consume that energy, freaking you.

Know what it What it would happen is I would like see the camera and I'd be like, oh my god, like this is like I'm doing. I'm this is my job, like talking to like an inanimate object. And then on the other side, like like are people living inside the camera? Like it would get in the dark, dude, it would literally get dark.

And then I would mention space and it would be none.

Yeah, it would be over.

I see you eyeing that stupid fucking list.

Well, I'm seeing if there's anything else. And the only other thought that I have on this list that I didn't touch on already is imagine dating an influencer, Like like it sounds like a nightmare, And I understand that.

Are you talking about like us influencers are like influencers who are very like this is my life, this is what I'm doing.

No just us, any influencer, like literally anybody who is like self absorbed, like like, because I'll be the first admit I think I'm the best person on planet Earth, Like I genuinely think I am number.

I even think that's an influencer thing. I think there's plenty of people who like suck to date because.

They like think they're the best, but that that just is piggybacking off of that, like having to take photos of people like also, like the idea of a thirst trapper is just so fucking NARGI.

Yeah, I guess I'm like being too biased because I'm like, what does that have? Like I was thinking about us being dated, but I think the worst part about dating one of us is like just the inevitability if people do find out about your relationship or if, like me, you've had a public relationship. Bit just won't shut the fuck up. Like, bit just won't shut like take a hint, Yeah, leave me alone.

It just sounds like a fucking nightmare to date either another influencer or again, like a thirst trapper, Like that sounds fucking embarrassing as hell embarrassing.

Yeah, I'm just like, I think a lot of people usually have one public relationship and then they realized, oh, that was like not a good decision, and that was awful because the chances of it not working out are pretty high. And then the chances of like all of your young followers not being able to take a hint and then saying things like I don't believe in love any more. I'm but a fucking old myself, like because of your relationship, those chances are pretty high. So for

Like because we don't post ever any on anything.

I just I would be damned if I gave one. I just can't have anybody I'm interested in romantically taking pictures of me in general. I'm like, now, why are you doing that? Like hmmmmmmmm, see.

You No I want candid photos of me. I don't. I genuinely don't think there's like any candid photos of me anywhere in the world. I have so many random photos of you, but I just clocked the camera immediately, and they're not candid anymore.

Like a lot of people do that.

I'm saying, I want like candid photos. I just want I want to be out in the wild, like enjoying nature, and then someone just like take a picture of me.

You may find that significant others also, this needs to be spoken about men in relationships.

Take the relationshocking photo.

It is fucking true. No man I've ever been dating or into has taken a photo of me and I look and I'm like, wow, that's that's such a good photo of me, or no man in general, but specifically the men you're dating, because I don't know what fucking little spell I have you in that all of a sudden you think I look good there Like you're lying now, you're just letting me know you see me as one of the ugliest people ever, and you're like kind of into that.

For me, I feel like I take like decent photos of it now. Yeah, but now you said no man ever, no, But like.

It took you literally three years.

I would say a year ago has taken decent photos of you.

You got, you got really good. When I realized you got really good is when you took photos of Oriyan and me for like the saline thing I did, and you took Oryan for a thing she did. That was when the like marking of turnaround. But I don't have you take IG photos of me the way I used to like I used to do used to.

Be like a fucking daily Can you take IG pictures of me today? I'm like no, because.

I hated him and I felt like I had to take pictures. I was like, fully cut off your whole like influencer dating thing.

I literally I kind of got all my thoughts. I just think it would be fucking awful. I genuinely think it would be the worst experience of my life.

Yeah, I can't say I feel like, oh my god, I I could I could see I can't see myself if. I just don't think men should be like they're trapping there, I said, no exactly.

I don't think men should be posting photo dumps either. Yeah, there are no real men like like.

No they post a photo dump. But why the fuck are there three photos of you in this photo dump?

Three selfies? Why are you taking yourself?

Why are you taking no stop. I'm sorry, But the idea of men like finding good lighting and taking a selfie, like you know you need to if you see good lighting, you should be able to look at the sun and know it's time to go to fucking work, like you should go to war a curious that you should be clocking sunlight on the floor and good lighting is.

Because you're farmer. That's the that's no, that's the female like farmer gatherers.

No, that's men's work now, because it's like, oh my god, I have to go like farm, I have to go like rally up the cattle and put them back inside.

It's into the farm.

Yeah, to the farm. Oh my god, Like I can't. I can't. I'm going to freak out at the idea of like men saying good lighting and like taking out their phone to film with TikTok. What are you doing?

That's what I'm saying. I imagine walking out, imagine walking in on your significant other and making a TikTok.

I would throw up. Oh my god, I would start crying. I would start throwing things at him.

Like actually, I would run away and disappear. I would disappear from my life, like.

And but for girls, I'm like yeah, like.

No, I'm like get it, girl, like you're hot, Like get it, turn it out. But if a man finds himself attractive and is airing it out online, I'm like, now.

You know you need to work on that personality, right because like if you.

I know you're insecure.

That's my thing is like men like will curate their look before their personality. So if you're looking at a man and he's like really invested in his look, girl.

Behind straight by the way, yeah, I'm talking.

About straight men. Like if there's like a straight man who's like, oh, I'm like so into how I look behind that forehead? There are no thoughts behind that forehead you were you were in that relations thought to be a character development.

This is like literally killer the Killer is no.

Literally you Oh my god. I would like I'm I'm like, actually repulse if you're dating no, I'm just like I could keep going for I was gonna be like imagine dating a straight man influencer and like you're going to events as his plus one? Now what are you doing?

Absolutely?

Why the fuck are we? What is happening? Like why do you want to go have a key? Like you have to make a house.

Right now, you have to go build the house. Go build our home.

You can't be having a key.

Go be an accountant or something like. Literally, go put that business degree to use.

You need to go file your fucking taxes. I just yeah, I just don't believe in like straight men having fun. And I'll cut off my rant there because I could, God knows, I could go on an anti man campaign for years. You know what I'm actually gonna start. I'm gonna start a pro Lobotomi for men campaign.

Oh my god.

Yeah, and I'm gonna rin actually.

Would support Queen. I would support that.

Yeah, So I'll have a petition up soon. We'll do like a parade rally in La on Fairfax.

I literally support it.

I said, I made a joke about lobotomies the other day and people were really like, oh my god, like in real life, I.

Said a lootomy joke on I said the lobotomy joke online and people were pissing me too, And I was like, I'm gonna lo bottomize all of y'all. Get off Twitter. You got Twitter? Brain?

No? Literally, Like the Internet is so funny how it finds a joke funny for like three minutes and then randomly it decides that like, actually, that's like not chill. Yeah, I'm like, bitch, you know what's not chill?

Your breath, you stinky bitch, Go shower. I was gonna say something, Go wash your fucking clothes. Yeah, I know you got dirty clothes on your.

Bed, dirty clothes under your bed. Oh. That's one thing that I just can't like, I can't like get with, like dirty rooms, Like now, why the fuck are you filming a TikTok And I can see your whole mush pile of stinky undies behind you.

At least hide it, like, please take it to the corner.

We have normalized dirty, dirty ass rooms, like where the fuck is your or your parents? Your parents aren't they're depressed in you hide your depression pile. And I know everyone's like, oh, I want to show the real sides of me on the internet. I don't want to see your stained fucking undies in the back of a TikTok. You look good, you beat your face, now kick that pile out of frame and.

Then try again, try again.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever just been like a messy person. I think literally my entire life. I have just been a clean fucking freak. And it's not even something like parents like like forced into me. They just I just was because I just don't like messy spaces. I think it's like very uncomfortable.

My dad drilled being clean into us. I used to be like messy as a kid, Like my under my bed was full of shit and like oh it was so bad. And now like my room right now isn't even necessarily messy, but it's like driving me insatan and I have to clean it.

I'd like when you were gone, I completely, like mop swept the whole nine yards because I feel like I haven't done that in so long. And I did it throughout the house too.

It was so clean when you got back. My presence has made it a little messier. Like yeah, I'm not like the cleanest person ever. I just like put things where I like want them, when they're where they're easily accessible.

To me, and then I like come through and I'm like, Okay, we have cabinets and cupboards for a reason, Like, but.

Our cabinets and cupboards are all like full of shit.

We should clean them out.

Oh my makeup bag, I've been doing my makeup in the bathroom and I leave my.

Makeupack because I got a new makeup back then, I.

Just leave on the counter and Drew put it. I didn't say anything. You put it on top of the fucking toilet, and all the germaphobia and me like literally went to my throat and I'm like, I was like, I'm literally gonna fucking break out and like die in the next three days because he's gonna give me fucking like eco li from like putting my shit on here and I like freaked out, and then I put it on the towel rack instead.

Or I'm sorry for doing that, but it had to be done for my brain, you.

Know what it is. I have to figure I need to start doing my makeup in my room, but I hate my vanity and I like, I don't I don't know what to do with my room. I like need to throw things away and like get rid of shit, but I'm attached to all my items and also just sounds like work. I'm like, oh, I don't want to

Yeah, all of my shit is backed up and I have all my old iPhones because I'm like dude. One day, like like literally last night, Madeline, my sister was sending me pictures from our old like yearbooks from second grade, and it was cracking me up. Like my parents, like when we got our yearbooks, we were fucking evil, Like we would go through and mark out like the people we didn't like and write the meanest shit possible. And we were in second grade, like have this shit. I'm like,

Now you don't have like as much content of Like, no.

I'm happy I marked in the fucking yearbooks because they're funnier, Like they're way way more enjoyable than if I looked back and was like, oh, this is like a bare yearbook. Now I have something to fucking laugh at.

Dude. I literally don't have any yearbooks, granted, because like we like kind of couldn't afford them, and my schools also didn't make them. Like my school, like my elementary school didn't have a yearbook no grade until like senior year. Was there ever really an offering of a yearbook, Like senior year, there was, and it was like fifty dollars and most of us are like almost ten fifty dollars on that that sounds like a lot. So I don't have anything. I just have like a few, like of

My fucking parents when they moved out of like my childhood home, I like my room kind of just stayed the same when I like moved out, and they moved all my shit out of my room for me when I moved, and they were like selling the furniture, but in one of my drawers, I had just all of my like really gnarly sad like notes, journals, like all this just like really fucked up shit that like no

As we're talking about this, I'm thinking about, like, uh, when I went through my big journaling phase even in high school and like junior or senior year and all the things I was writing, and I have those in

It's like leaning, Ah, I.

Love growing old. Someone Oh, someone actually made a comment where it was like we saw the tumbler posts where you would hate about aging. Yeah, nobody. When you're seventeen eighteen, it sounds like the worst thing. It's seventeen, eighteen nineteen, it sounds like the fucking worst thing ever to grow old. But once you hit like twenty one, it's like, Okay, let's fete up the process, like not for me, let's keep it going, like at least for me.

Literally, it's just it's fucked up that, like somehow through all these years, I've like, I'm I'm only fifteen. I literally just turned fifteen. Oh I remember that. Oh you know what, My sixteenth fucking birthday is actually in March on the fourth, like, which is crazy. I'm super excited to get my fucking license.

Oh yeah, Drew's age regressing out of paranoia of becoming old. We're just gonna let him go with it, exactly. No, you have to at least please just be turning twenty one so we could still go to bars, and shit, I'm turning sixteen, Okay, can you get a fake?

No, bitch, why not? I don't look twenty one at fucking all.

Okay, that doesn't matter. How bouncers literally don't care like you're being like dramatic.

I don't know. I just be too nervous to give it to the no.

Because you'd be with all your older friends so you would get in.

Still, Okay, maybe I'll get a fucking fake. Maybe. I mean, like six you're just peer pressuring a fucking fifteen year old and it's a little weird, like I will.

I was just about to say, like, yeah, sure, being sixteen in a bar with a lot of adults is like very not okay and dangerous and know what to do that, but like you're gonna be with your other friends who are protecting you.

True, So if y'all have my bag, I'll d D i'ld be the deciated.

You don't have your license yet you're sixteen at fifteen? Yeah, I can't believe I never got a fake because I was actually so scared of like you know what it was. I never got a fake. Not because I'm being scared, because I have too big of like an ego and pride to get turned down like it would it would like eat away at me if a bouncer looked and was like, yeah, this.

Is fake and like turn literally in shit, ask nowhere Texas where we grew up, there was nothing more to do. I mean there was nothing else to do other than fucking drink in people's attics, and that was actually it. So we all had fake id's when we were like sixteen, and everybody in town knew we had fake id's. Everybody knew who we were. Like, I don't know why they were still selling alcohol to.

Us, but like, well because the money.

Yeah, Literally, like there were a few gas stations you could go to without fail and use your fake idea. And when I was sixteen, I did not look twenty one, and neither did any of my fucking friends. Like we all looked like fucking actually thirteen year old's, Like why were you giving us like thirty racks of Natty Light? Like obviously that it's like white people culture. It's beer. It's like a thirty count beer pack of natural light. I have not heard I but you know what it is.

Like her nephew two hours away on the floor of a club. I don't have any stories like that because I just never did shit like that. Actually, there is this idea like a fake that Orian has had for like ever, what's her name? I feel like I shouldn't say it, should we bleep? Yes? Say I'm gonna say and bleep it. Oh, but she like she doesn't really

There was the most insane scenario I've ever been in.

And then I just had to play nice because I didn't want to like embarrass the fuck out of this child. And I was like, oh, okay, go ahead, and they got me a drink and I literally grabbed it and then pushed it at the end of the other side of the bar and walked away. And then I was like, that was the most embarrassing experience in my life.

It's humbling me with my literal child.

Being like what do you want? Literally, like that's how I fault because they had no idea what to order. They were like, what are you getting? I'll get one for you, and I was like, oh my god, you need to go home.

Somebody say, if only if you could say the name, it would be so it would be so much funnier. It would be fucking insane. It's it's just literally like insane.

Oh, is is so funny? It is? But I won't make fun of them like that or like I won't publicly.

Shame because they literally are a fifty.

They are a child, and I just like I always feel bad because I'm like, there's a line between like being a child and like having fun and then like being a child in an environment where it's like only adults. I'm like, you, you're in a dangerous your parents need to your parents need to throw an air tag in your pocket and like track track your.

Ass, like dude. The crazy thing is is, though, is that like these kids are all like child stars and they like pay their own I just fucking no electricity. Electricity fucking zapped through my leg. Oly shit.

But yeah, they were like paying their parents' bills. So if their parents speak to them, they're like.

Fuck you exactly.

And that's why if I do have a baby, I won't give it an iPad and I'll tell it that that there's nothing outside of our house, so it doesn't believe I'm going a gypsy rose to five my baby.

Yeah.

The funny thing is as like a teenager. One of my really cynical funny memories that I have is me and Dante. We were like always just making up really fucked up hypotheticals and this is such a fuck up hypothetical. But the fact that when I was making this joke, the Gypsy Rose thing was happening, and I had no idea because I didn't know about it until like twenty seventeen,

Yeah, yeah, I mean there's still time.

Yeah, there's I'm that's that's in my thirties, I enter my what's the name of gypsy, like the thing munch Housen synd I'm going to enter my munch house and syndrome in my thirties and my like mid thirties.

You could just do that to me. You could like that you you are, You could know we could take over the fucking world together.

Everybody has seen you move, bitch, what are you about to take?

I could get in a car wrect, I could get in a car wreck. I mentioned in the last episode that I've seen a lot of people die, and I feel like not people don't believe me, but I have seen a lot of people die. I think I have an omen Oh my god.

Like we were almost done with this episode. You like could not you couldn't not squeeze.

It in No, because I just thought about it. I was like, I have seen a lot of death, Like, Okay, I won't get into it, but oh, I.

Know what you're gonna mention your life text.

To me, I'll save it. No, No, not even that one. I forgot about that one. I have like three more deaths that literally happened in front of me, one when I was nine, dude. Actually two of them happened in the same fucking year when I was like nine years old, and I remember them so fucking vividly, Like I'm not kidding this close like people dying in front of me.

Oh my, personally, I haven't experienced that, which is why I'm not kidding. People don't believe me when I say I'm like butt fuck stupid, but it's by choice. Like I do a really good job at turning my fucking brain off, like I said in the last episode, Like it's usually on like autopilot mode, and then sometimes I have to spark my brain up with like on some like plugging your car in and rubbing the engine, like that's what I have to do to my literal brain

I'm trying so hard to enter my NPC era where I just like exist in I'm just a background character in everybody else's life. It's just like so hard for me to do that, so hard for me not to be the main character.

Everyone thinking they're the fucking main character.

That's a fucking dizzy girl.

I didn't see you at the grocery store. I don't care what you were wearing.

I didn't fucking but you saw me.

I saw you because you won't shut the punk up exactly. I will say, I don't think I'm the main character, but I do like when people look at me in public, like I love screaming in public and being annoying in public. Like there, I'm not kidding. Nothing beats that feeling. I don't even like if someone told me, okay, you could either never have sex again in your life or you could never scream and shout and be obnoxious in public, I'd be like, all right, I'm turning my celibacy era

Josh's sex robot theory. If everybody had a sex robot, life would be so much better.

Oh my god, I won't go into it. I'm like, let me stop talking about sex so that, like our podcast, doesn't it fully demoid? Yeah? I say the S words so much that like the podcast. At this point, things were like having like an s positive like debate every time we get on here.

It is interesting how the iPhone thirteen is released and they got a little slick with it. Apple got a little slick with it. But it's interesting how six months after the iPhone thirteen was released, my phone is now buggy as shit.

You and every other dumb fuck on the internet says that shit, but it's true.

It's true.

All of my apps are crashing, all of my asps fucking crash. Now. I never once has my has TikTok or Instagram or anything fucking crash on my phone, and now they're all crashing.

When's the last time you updated your phone?

Like I want to say.

Exactly, like that's your own fault. That's not a thing. I hate that theory. I'm like, y'all are fucking dumb.

You'll it'll come, it'll I think that actually was proven true.

I think how about this, people get off your fucking phone.

Okay, it was proven true, right, that they literally throttle your phone on purpose.

Yeah, it was proven. But I think there's like a weird nuance to it where when your battery gets older, the iPhone will throttle the CPU so that it doesn't die faster or something like that.

Was the.

Oh it's true.

No, I still believe that. It's like it's like when someone shows you like a car, or like someone you know gets a certain model of a car, and now all of a sudden, when you're driving, you notice that car a lot more and you feel like you're seeing it a lot more. But it's because it was pointed out.

To you that me and my schizophrenic era, I was literally in my.

Schizophrenic era, was being gangstock.

So dude, I'm not kidding. Every time I saw a car with a head light out on the right side.

Okay, I love you with all my heart, but sometimes you do shit like that, and I'm like, if you were my kid, I would smack you so hard on the back of the head because.

I genuinely thought I was being followed.

You want a problem so bad, bitch, I'm gonna give you a fucking problem. Like Drew is so annoying, and he'll like, he'll be in the car with me. Oh, I see this light all the time, so I'm gonna fucking like we're gonna crash. I'm driving, Bitch, to keep that shit to yourself, Like the fuck are you talking about? Also, of course you see it. You're you're doing nothing. You're like sitting in my passenger seat borders shit, and like you use your phone for like thirty minutes.

But we're not talking about those rainbow lights right outside our house on the.

Fucking I will say, I don't know what that is, and I don't know that.

It's eerie though.

Oh I remember one time I got into a really really big, like debate with someone I knew, like a few years ago about privacy and like, I don't give a fuck about my I don't care are like I'm literally a public figure.

Lost all my data. I don't give yeah, sell my data, look.

At my tits, look at my couchie, Like I don't care, Like I literally don't.

Care, Like I'm doing nothing wrong. Why should I care?

Yeah, Like I'm not laundering money, I'm not like looking at shit I shouldn't be looking at if you want to like stalk me, like the FBI agent behind my camera, Where the fuck the dumb joke y'all make is like, go ahead, you gonna see me taking a fast shit. You're gonna see me like watching tiktoks. You're gonna see me like using my phone in the shower sometimes because I'm a fucking lunatic.

The Kodak video of him live in a shower and it falls into the bottom of showering. You see, it's fucking gucc and Wiener. That shit is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. And then it's just like slagging out kind.

Of, but yeah, I remember that. And then like the person I was arguing with god really mad and they were like, I want my privacy and I was like, you're fucking boring, like no one cares to look at what you're looking at.

Like dude, and we were in the middle of I do need to educate myself on that more, because like when people are like you need like they're taking away your privacy, Like what are they taking away?

That?

Like is not like I don't I don't get the conversation.

Yeah, I guess maybe maybe I'm uneducated, But again, I like that. I like the simplicity that my little like fucking age.

You're just another cog in the machine and you're a pawn in their game.

I can buy my cute little clothes and go on deep hop and like distract myself and like do my little tasks like.

You're upon in their capitalistic And then they.

Were like they were like it's not okay that like, oh they were taking the take, which like for them, they like. I think the reason this argument pissed me off is because they didn't care about it for like any other reason that they were just like being annoying and they were like, but I want my privacy. I'm like, girl, you're like white, what the fuck are you scared of?

Want their privacy in the off chance that they do commit a crime. Like I'm confused, Like why do you care if those cameras filming you all the time?

Like I'm like, it's not like you're saying like, oh, like I'm worried because there are some people who like have to steal to live, and like now with the technology, it's like not even that argument. It's just like I want I don't want to be seen. I'm like, girl, no one's looking anyway, like congrats, like no one cares. But yeah, that's my take. I'm sure there's one of you big brain bitches out there who can like explain why it's bad.

How about you do that but in a nice, non condescending way. How about we try that for once. How about we try educating each other in a non condescending, asshole fucking bitch way. I'm tired of like literally like like saying one thing wrong and then everyone being fucking assholes about it. I'm like, okay, how about you just say it like oh, actually this was like kind of like wrong, like don't say that, say this.

Well, no, because the internet it's a moral yeah, it is a moral game. And it's black and white and there is no middle context exactly either this or that, and no one fucking cares. And you know what, y'all can play that game. But once my iPhone screen locks, it's all gone.

Babe, I'm not on Twitter anymore. I'm not on Twitter anymore. It's gone.

I'm like, you know what, I don't I don't have to look at what you're saying. I'm locking my iPhone right now.

Lock, dude.

That's the funniest thing about arguing on the Internet is literally like it's like hanging up on a It's not real.

It's not real.

Who was saying? Oh h that girl col A Monkey like always says that. And I think it's so funny and such a like blissful take as like a young person, because I feel like now young I feel bad for young people because of course, there are the pros to being educated, like highly educated at that age, so you don't make mistakes a lot of us made as younger people, and you're like well educated. But to a certain extent.

My life has gotten so much fucking better, like ever since I realized that, like the Internet does not matter, it doesn't matter.

It's not real, No, it's not even like I'm like this is like for fun and it's fun. And of course I learned things here and I further educate myself here. But the last thing I'm gonna do is have a stranger yell at me.

You know what's terrifying is I thought the Internet was tiny, but then I like, like just like try, like did some research and over I think it's like sixty percent of humans on Earth have accessed the Internet in the last year.

But really it's like also the argument of like a lot of the energy that you can carry out online, like it just doesn't translate to real life because humans don't talk to each other like that. Yeah, you will find that people in real life are a lot more careful with the way they talk to other people because it's a lot different when you're like trying to verbalize

It can be fun. Is a great plate.

It's like the saying everything is good in moderation, and that's how I feel out the internet, and I love who.

I just so bad they want to be put in the metaverse already, Like I don't give a shit, Like everybody's so anti metaverse. I'm like, fucking beat me up please, Like I'm done in this physical body. That's fair.

The thing is you're gonna be in a physical body like they're they're gonna put big heavy goggles on you that are gonna hurt your head, and you're like, oh, like I need to take this off.

We'll be uploaded into the cloud, not in lifetime, in our lifetime, yeah, we will. It's growing so quickly.

It's like I just feel really nice.

Your link is already happening.

It's like it's gonna be you and like every other white dude who's like, way to invest it in VR and like, actually, you know what, never mind. If that's I'm like, that is good. If we could like just all like the white dudes who are like really into finance and like crypto and shit into a different world where I never have to like see them again, that actually might be one of the best things times.

Actually, hell's I.

Know, I'm like all of them and the only y'all are like I want to go there, ain't no bitches there go have fun.

Like.

You fucking y'all need to worry about, yeah, uploading some bitches into your consciousness. But yeah, maybe that'll be good because I would love to stay here in real life, into my shopping in real life. I just don't, girl, shut the fuck up. I just yeah, no one can. You couldn't pay me money to like convince me about virtual reality. I just like, again, maybe it's because I'm just not educated, but like I've tried to be educated

And I just think it's an inevitable future and not in my time.

It's like, I'm also sorry, I just don't believe that that's gonna like be a thing in our life.

Actually it is a capitalistic healthscape. And I just want to make it clear that I don't actually want to be uploaded into the fucking metaverse. I'm just joking, but I do want the neuralink in sull them.

I'm gonna say, you kind of do want that.

I want the neuralink, but like.

Isn't that just gonna lead to the like being in a virtual reality.

Maybe we'll see.

I also just don't.

I just don't care because I'm like, it's just not.

Accessible to like most people. So I'm like, how is that the future?

We'll figure it out a way. Capitalism always wins.

Not in my books. Not in my books, pipes. I'm actually did you all know that? I solely me I'm gonna destroy capitalism soon. Actually, yeah, a part of my lobotomy plan, there is a capitalism plan like tied into that. The lobotomies do have to come first, which is like pretty obnoxious, especially because like two and two on the lobotomy, I do have to engage in capitalism because obviously I don't. I don't have the equipment.

Means you could crowdfund it with every other Yeah, but.

I would like the lobotomies to be done by a professional like.

Me.

Shouldn't be committing the lobotomies a crowd fund. Oh, we could do a crowd fund, not a go fund me, a kickstarter for I'll have someone create like a lobotomy machine and then we could do a kickstarter for that and then like have it ready and we'll go from there. I'll figure it out. But the next and you destroy capitalism.

Utopia coming soon. Yeah, there's no utopia under capitalism. We'll end it on that. Let's do some questions from the Patreon.

Okay, Mama asks favorite Arewon products?

Oh hey, that's such a mean question to like answer, because like Arawan's are only in la alright, I think.

New York soon.

Oh I'm moving the way. That was literally a concern of ours. We were like, wait, if we moved here, we wouldn't have Airwon anymore, though, Like that was a genuine concern.

I like, uh, the buffalo cauliflower and the macaroni and cheese from the hot case, and then also the all the little mini shots.

Yeah, all the juices are really good. But one thing I really liked that I never see anymore. And I don't know if I always go there where it's sold out because when it's sold out, because I'll see that the sign is still lot for. But they had the kelp pesto pasta that was so fucking good and I haven't seen it for a long time and that's really upsetting. And the Asian chicken salad they do. I want to go buy another one.

I'm gonna have my macrobiotic salad today. For lunch, and it's gonna change everything for me. It's gonna put my day upside down.

Oh.

Also, if you have like an issue with wait, I'm gonna grab it out of the fridge. Actually, this one's so old and I don't even think I could like take it. But I'm sure they sell this other places. But I'm sure I've talked about it on the podcast before. Is how I have like a big issue with my stomach hurting really fucking bad after I eat certain things and bloating up like really poorly. This thing alo her

Oh ding on tombs and there's did you know that's the thing. You can take too many tombs and like your you become too basic, like your acidity levels. It's like there's a word for it.

I will say, when I take tombs instead of these natural ones, my acid reflux is really bad after taking a thumbs like like I'll take it to like subdue the acid reflex, but then the next two days my acid reflux is like even worse. Oh yeah, but that's my answer.

So asks what made joall move to Los Angeles?

Mistake? Work? Yeah, literally, work work, and I used to love it here.

Yeah we just had that conversation.

Yeah, but oh we had it in real life.

Yeah yeah, just work. And all my friends are moving, like all my internet friends are moving, and I was like, I am probably gonna only have this opportunity once in my fucking lifetime. I can always go back to college if I really need to. I'm just gonna take this opportunity and see where it takes me. And so far, so good.

Yeah, literally that was it for me too. And then I did love it because I was like, Oh, it's like the non human humid version of Miami in terms of weather, and I was like, that's like amazing. But now the weather scares the fuck out of me because every day feels the same and I feel like I'm

Yeah. I need seasons, I need isolation, I need grass.

Yeah, I literally just need seasons. I'm like, I can't, like every day feels the same and I'm losing my fuck mind. But yeah, that's that's our.

Lad Megan asks advice for being in a creative rut.

Girl, if you find out, let me know.

I think, just don't put pressure on it. It'll pass.

That's like kind of it, you shall pass.

Yeah, it's just like, the more pressure you put on it, almost the deeper you'll dig yourself into the rut, because then you'll start to feel really like upset with yourself and resentful towards yourself because you're not creating anything, and that'll only keep you down longer. And if you just kind of like let go, go out, go experience things, you'll find inspiration outside of your room where I'm sure you're like trying to rack your brain for some inspiration.

Yeah, that's actually a good, like, go experience fucking life. I think we were just talking about that with Josh. Like literally, I think my most of my inspiration for anything I've ever done is just like literally going and fucking living instead of just being locked inside all day, yeah and working. So go experience in life?

Is that it?

Sir?

Media media of the we e eek? What what is the Anthony thing? New videos?

Ef we week e Low Anthony. I didn't actually ever watch the lot Anthony videos.

I was a stan of low Anthony.

Me and him got into beef once and I made fun of his crooked teeth, and I felt really bad about it because then we like became we like squashed the.

Beef squashed the beef. Okay, I'm gonna go go first.

Death Metal by Panchico, Where Did He Come From? By Sunday and you can Fly on My Aeroplane by We and also Mary Jane All Night Long, Mary Day Blige, because what a just classic, what a hit.

What a certified emergency Intercolm.

You know what's such a serve when you just like a bunch of songs and you don't make a playlist, but then you like listen to all your recently liked songs and they sound really good together and you're like, wow, I'm a genius and I.

Don't even have to think about it. H Okay, moon Age Duster U mmm, well Circles Tourists uh and Summer Rained by Woa some and Young Wen Serve and.

Then oh, actually, yesterday I binged the whole second part of season two Penn fifteen, one of the funniest shows ever. Yeah, such good fucking writing, Like all three of us were sitting there cracking the fuck.

Up, Like it's just like I just know it was so fucking fun to write, and that's inspiring.

And that's it for Media of the Week. I slay you, slay we all.

Oh my Media of the week is the new Call of Duty war Zone map called there Come on people.

If y'all knew how much Drew, who like sits in his room and plays Call of Duty, you would.

It's not that much. It's like max two hours a day. No you the last, No, the last. The last two days have been a lot because the map that originally started war Zone was going away, and I was like getting kind of sentimental and emotional. So I was like, you know, like, I'm just gonna let myself be in play. But not every time I'm in my room, Am I playing for like four hours? Absolutely? Not, not every fucking time. There are times, yeah, but that's not every time.

There are times when you're at war in your room for hours and I don't see you for the rest of the day.

Yes, all right, that's it.

Thank you so much for tapping into this episode. Tap tap tap tap tap tap that subscribe button.

Chap that flow, all right,