bottom erasure

Welcome to this episode of Emergen the Intercom Health. We're stuck in the computer.

We're scrapped, and I don't know I'm believing stuck in the computer, I can't get out of my head.

Did that Bee?

Yeah?

You's it sounded good though, it sounded good.

Hi guys, Hey, Hi Drew Dide.

I realized what I was just gonna say. We've recorded so much this week. I feel insane.

Good.

You should. You should feel overworked and burnt out right the first week of the new year. That's what the new year is about. It's about getting all those resolutions and scaring yourself into the change that you think is not believable, and then backing out and going back to your normal habits because life isn't about hustle. Life is about being normal.

And I feel so sick too.

Wait did you get sick again too?

I don't think I'm sick. I don't know why I feel like this, but I just feel like so like foggy.

Headed, because you don't have me around.

I literally is I've withdrawn like I'm in like the late stages of withdrawal. It's called postpartum depression disorder.

Actually, wait, what are you claiming you gave birth.

To me or no, no, it's called pause paws. It's the late stage of withdrawals, when it's just strictly mental and not physical.

Hogs. Did you say POGs?

Hogs? Pogger's no paws.

Oh, I also thought you said pog and I was like, woh my god, thank yous, that ass white girls.

I thought it was like Pouger's in the chat, like let me drop some POGs down below.

No me, guys, mind was elsewhere.

Yeah, well no, no, Well, I thought we could come into this episode and maybe chat about our New Year's resolutions, our ins and outs. I didn't write any ins and outs, and I told Kayan Yato so they could do the heavy lifting. But I did write my resolutions down, and I feel like if anybody wants to go first, they can, or I can go ahead and start it.

Start with their resolution, because I have a thing of ins and outs that is like pretty obnoxious and weirdly like long question.

Mark perfect, No, that's perfect. Okay, then I'll start with my resolutions. Okay, my first one. I've been saying this a bunch recently, but like a full blown dop dopamine detox, Like I want all the devices out of my life,

So basically, you want to do mister Bat's last challenge when he locked himself in a room for one hundred days. Did you watch that?

No? But that's literally what I wanted. I haven't watched any Mister BEA's videos because I was like, oh, I want to watch him with everybody when we get back.

But I think everybody's watched them because on my account about me, the Mister Beast video was already watched, So that means somebody TV already watched it at our house. Yeah, it was Also Sosia does not wait for us to watch josh Angosia. They don't wait every time like oh, should we watch this, They're like, I've seen it already. I they have notifications on and they see it immediately.

It's so oppy bit behavior, like it's not chill, it's not show Like, well, I did do that to you a couple of times. Actually I did it with Poor Things, which is the most insane movie I've ever seen, like in a good way. Like, I literally I loved that movie. Like if I haven't seen Barbie, and I will never see Barbie. But that's what I assume Barbie Barbie is about. Yeah, like I feel like it's Barbie. Yeah, literally, like I feel like it's in the same wheelhouse.

Wait what is this mug? I was drinking at What is that mug?

Wait?

What it says? Main character energy?

Oh my god, how do we boot in?

No you can't.

There's where you get that.

Okay, if you want to be the.

Main character, yeah, I literally am this is my room.

Oh oh my god.

Since you want to be the main character, so damn bad in your YouTube.

Kai, take it.

Back, I take it back. I'm not the main character. You guys are the characters.

Thank you, thank you. It's in its place, Drew, come back and make sure.

I actually don't know how to do it. Wait no, actually, oh, here we go make.

Sure to put yourself back above kai where you belong.

Oh yeah, put true Drew on top of me true.

Damn thirty this year.

No, I actually don't you know what's crazy is I've been lying to you guys because I just I wanted there to be like a mystery. And then I reveal at twenty nine and at my birthday, I'm like, I'm actually like I'm a cool age like twenty four yeah or something.

Yeah. Well, I saw a comment that horrified me, and it was talking about our last episode with Hamza and Martin and the comment was like, OMG, this is like millennial versus gen Z. And I was like, who are they calling millennial because I know, damn well it's not me. And then the bio said, oh, like Drew and In,

It was crazy because I'm kind of like the baby of the group. So I fell at.

Home with Kay is so baby with Martin and homes say your baby, say I baby?

Why you say his name like that, Martin.

Martin because I'm a baby, Because I'm a baby. I'm still learning, I will say.

I do think like as like like unintelligent, as a lot of our humor is. I understand why people say we're millennial core, like we are kind of so old. He like all we do is talk about like young people adore me, like.

And that is so true. Actually your millennial pause. Yeah, I literally it is so foreign to me that I can't even act it, like and I'm like a world class actor and I just like I can't even act millennial because it's such like it's that might make you.

Not a world class actor, because that might be one of the easiest rules to take on.

Oh dogg o galaxy, Uh donated donated galaxy to me? Fuck? That's so gen z. Actually sorry, like.

I know that is that is millennial chorus. Fuck because when I think of that, I think of Jeffrey Star Jason nash To. Actually I think might be the silent age. What is it?

The people who went through war but a just like eighty year old.

Walked away.

I'm pretty sure that people it's like you're so old you can't even speak.

It's like you're locked away in like old people at homes.

Yeah.

Yeah, Jason Nash almost hit me in his tesla one time in Studio City. I wish so you wish he hit me? You wish he hit me and I died?

Yeah, because then we would have taken him the Small Claims court.

Hello, okay is a big claim? Actually, oh my god, I'm meant financially broka because you're so important to me. Okay, okay, But I would have been dented.

I don't know if his prius would have it would have been what I'm saying. I don't know if it would have a wonder large claim.

I saw. I saw someone talking about how Prius owners are the brave as people on this planet, because they time and time again prove that they have the thickest skin of any person on this planet, because they are just constantly berated for owning a Prius, yet they still drive it. And all I thought about was how brave kai is he's a brave soul. You're a brave soul.

I'm brave for a lot of reasons, guys. I'm like a martyr in a lot of ways. I feel like, you know what I mean, a.

Murder of what caused straight white men women?

Yeah, that's true, let's see. Oh. Also, this is my new roommate.

By the way, do you have a TikTok mug?

Yes, he makes TikTok and it's a mystery who it is. But you've seen it?

Oh have I seen it before?

Maybe?

I don't know.

Oh, it's probably Vinny Hacker.

I wanted it to be a mystery.

What the fuck?

Well, I just don't believe.

Yeah, so anyway, I spread that around. Vinnieacker and Kai backshots Newman now live together in Silver Lake and.

Newman.

That's what people call me. That's just my natural nickname as.

Of dude that you might find that that's not like a cool nickname. They might be making fun of you.

Yeah, like it's not like a nickname.

Like you're giving the back shots like people give you backshots.

That's fine, that's okay. I don't have an issue with that. I just don't think that's like Drew I don't have an issue.

Yeah, I don't know. But okay, wait New Year's I'm reading back my notes for my second one. Okay, so I was thinking, so, you know how like I wanted to make my blind box toys or whatever. Well I saw the market for the Rose toy and I was like, oh wow, there's like a big like market for this ship. So I was like, I'm going to make them vibrate and like have like platoral suckers and ship in them. So it's going to be like a blind box but with like a vibrator and it's in my characters like Silhouette.

I don't think that's going to do as well as you think our sex toys recession proof.

Yes, I think they go out in value.

Yeah, they have to be recession proof because people are like desperate for like a dopamine hit. So like, yeah, yeah, we should all get in that business. Like what are we doing all the celebrities making alcohol and ship, which I think is kind of recession proof because people you.

Need alcoholic survivor session.

A relacession.

Session.

But yeah, we need more celebrities dropping sex toys, Like that's what we need.

Yeah, we need can you try to box toys.

No, we know. What are your other resolutions?

M lose forty five pounds.

Okay, so I think if you lose twenty five pounds you may pass away.

Yeah, you're going to become two dimensional, dude.

That's like I keep telling everybody.

I'm like hiding.

I'm like, guys, my goal this year is to weigh eighty three pounds.

Like, that's my goal.

I'm going to hit the gym. I'm really gonna hit. If I weigh eighty three pounds, I would die. I'd be in hoste.

Yeah, okay, it's unhealthy. That is scary.

Into the drain, you know, like the drain grape Yeah yeah, and be swept away. Yeah.

Remember when Rianna walked over the drain and heels. Yeah, that's what I want to do. That's one of my resolutes.

You want your body to be the heel or you want to walk over greats with.

I want to walk over gratees and heels this year. I want to know. But really, when.

I'm running on the treadmill, I get sucked into the thing like I fall but falling off I'm so thin that I get caught in the revolver.

You know, liquid cats. That's my goal this year is to break all the bones in my body so I can fit inside of any I want.

My real goal body goals going.

Yeah, my real one is to like gain a bunch of weight. I want to be like a burly man like. I want to be nasty and big and strong.

I just want to be able to run for like thirty minutes straight when the killer comes after me. I will be getting when.

The nuke drops out run it.

Yeah, I'm gonna be the first women to women wanted be the first woman to outrun the San Andreas fault line shattering this year.

Yeah, start run away. Did you see that Iceland is like literally splitting in a half.

Yeah, And we need to go.

I know we need to go now.

Wait, are you done with your resolutions? Because I have really important ins and outs.

I have one more, a couple more porn, and it's.

Gonna it's the longest resolution list I've ever heard in my life. Because you're nearing the end and you have so much much to do.

Well. Whenever you guys like episode with the camera, I take full advantage of it.

So my I mean, you are the main character. You are the main character. Okay, wait, is that an Emma Emma? Isn't her podcast called the Main Character Podcast?

No, this is just a TikTok one.

I don't know.

Maybe it's the same font I guess, is it really? Yeah, it looks like the exact same fount as.

I actually don't know the name of it.

Again, my last one is just two camping trips or like two retreats to nature, like I need to or I want to go to like Canada and do that road trip up in Canada across Canada.

I'm super down for that. Yeah, if we literally told Tavia right now, she would she probably already has one plan for this year.

Yeah, and we can just tag along and ride in the wheel well, I'll sleep in the bathroom. I love the bathroom.

Right in the well.

Well, it's so funny.

Well, after I lose that forty pounds, I'm gonna be small enough.

She'll just put you in her Stanley cup.

I'll be a mud flap for the car.

All right, Well, Kylier, are you gonna go or should I start my ins and outs?

Oh? Yeah, I want to drink alone more. I drink alone a lot, but I want to drink alone more. Like how often, Drew, please come back? What the fuck?

I feel like I just don't support this.

Say that you're supposed to show up for them, not disappear.

Yeah, that was the way.

I came back immediately. I think I came back before you even said Drew come back.

Okay, So you guys want me to be like real ones.

You want me to be earnest, No, no, do it, do whatever you want.

I want to be less. I want to have more self confidence.

Do you actually like feel like you lack a lot of self confidence?

I do a lot. Yeah, like it.

I feel like it was literally hot, So I need to lose some confidence.

Smile, you're literally because you're rising me up and I'm getting wet and I'm creating male snail trails. Okay, let me see what's another thing. Oh yeah, I want to be more self confident. I'm a little bit afraid of everything. And then I want to get ten thousand steps a day.

I want to be a good one. I want to go to Disney l A.

Yeah exactly. I want to be walking around l A and people just be like, oh my god, like that he's lost so much weight. He probably I see that.

No, they're gonna be like, oh my god, I see that guy walking around every day. He must not have a car.

He's the killer.

No.

Kai back to your self confidence one, like a little bit of advice is like, if you want to be more self confident, like just be more confident, you know that.

So I was gonna say, smile more often, okay, make people, just make people like find you attractive, which I guess I don't, Drew, how do you do that? Because I just kind of like when I show up, it happens you.

Oh yeah, it's already weird.

Oh my god, I.

Actually you immediately look like somebody yanked your face back with face tape.

Okay, genuine question. Should I just do this like ten all the time?

No? No, no, no, okay, no, I don't.

I don't like how good you are?

Like cross a little bit. Wait can I do that? I'm fluffy? Your hair is looking so fluffy today?

Oh wow, thank you.

It's because I just wanted to do the fluffy thing. What our goat? You know, our goat? We laid in bed together, crying, laughing at his tiktoks.

Oh I don't know what, Andrew, dude, I don't know how to win streak.

Your hair looks very bouncy. He's on live stream and someone says, oh, your hair is looking really fleft feet down.

I can't do that.

He's like, he's literally, wait, do I do it?

No, you can't do it. You kind of look like you're fainting.

Drew. Yeah, those were my real Those were my real resolutions.

Right, any resolutions? Wait? Is that it?

Yeah? And I do want to drink alone. That that one was kind of real too. I want to like be on my Jack Carouac ship.

You might find that that's a slippery slope.

Yeah. Yeah, I want to be in more. I want to be in more slippery slopes this year.

Oh that's a good idea. Get a cat. Get a cat.

I'm thinking about it. Actually, I do want There's a there's one in my new apartment that his name's Marty and he's always like trying to get in, and I'm like, maybe that's just my cat now, you know damn? Yeah?

Wait? Oh is it like an outside cat? Yeah?

Yeah, well his his uh, his owners like fucking hate him, Like it'll be pouring rain and they'll put him outside.

That's so easy.

Maybe he's daddy's cat now, Maybe he's Daddy's cat.

Now, no, he's PETA's cat. You need to call fucking animal services if they're putting that shit out on the street when it's raining.

Yeah, the cat distribution system is literally targeting you.

Okay, well here are my ins and outs. I don't have any resolutions. I do. Actually all of my resolutions are like health wise though, Like I wanna I want to shop less, which isn't a health thing. It's just like a financial thing. Dor you look like frozen?

Oh, because I'm serving No, I'm not frozen. I'm serving that's like not I'm serving like a hungry man lean cuisine right now.

Me, I don't know.

I was like playing off of like the frozen thing, like frozen, I'm a meal best like.

A frozen No, but a lean cuisine? Is it best serve frozen? You like heat it up?

What is that?

Like?

I'm like giving ice cream right now?

Maybe we are millennial code because that was like insane. Okay, I want to shop less. I do want to go running, which is at the gym four times a week, because I do want to learn how to run for what. I don't know, Like I just feel like being able to run really fast and far away from people really quickly. It's kind of a flex.

Like just a vibe. And then you want to eat on your eat out me.

No, I want to eat less Couci this year because I feel like last year I did get kind of carried away and then say you can't stop eating me out, bro, Oh you're you're always on the menu.

Bab Yeah, okay, but what was the one before that?

Eating less Cucci?

No no, no, no, no, Like is.

That I want to shop less, run more run Okay.

Well I had a joke but I lost it.

So okay, And then I want to eat like I want to cook more this year because I don't cook myself meals and that's like kind of sad. But like also I don't believe in I'm with you, yeah yeah, like I want to learn how to actually cook, like I'm about to like binge watch like father Kell's is Sydney Carlson cooking?

Yeah?

No, I'm like one hundred percent with you on that, just because like the amount of money I spend on food is like horrifying. But then I always have that conundrum where I'm like, bro, like if I buy the food the ingredients to make it like it's costs four times the amount if I just ordered it, so I might as well just order it. But then I'm not thinking properly. Where you buy like five chickens or whatever chicken filets and then you make five different chicken meals.

Yeah, oh my god.

Bitch, I want to call me a millennial. Okay, well, I'm getting a tattoo and I'm going to get Fortnite across my forehead right here, I.

Would stand by the night. No it is not.

Yeah, it fell the fuck off.

Bro, don't talk about that shit like that.

Yeah Fortnite, fellow.

Okay, Well, here are my ins and outs. It's pretty lengthy. I almost posted it, but I held it back. Here are my twenty twenty four predictions. In letting your phone die at night and waking up scared because you don't know what time it is. That's a good vibe to me. In not wearing underwear, not in a sexy way, but just because it is a scam to heap buying underwear, and I do not wanant to.

Just wear the same pair every single day like I do. I'm not washing my.

Own d're so layered, I feel like I could chip it off and it looked like tree bar.

Yeah.

I was gonna say, like there's like, no, I'm not gonna say that, that's gross. I'm just so horny all the time. I'm making pre com that there's like a layer pre com like at the base of my penis.

When you think as a bulge, it's like Elmer's glue when you roll it up into a ball. Standing outside with your arms crossed, staring at the sky and streets, specifically when you spent all day inside.

Oh wait, that's one of mine. Wait you go ahead.

I was just gonna say, like I like, am really into standing in the porch recently, which I did a lot last year.

Like they were onto something with that old people.

No, old people. We literally need to get chairs for out front and just sit there.

Yeah, just stare they know. Like my vibe was like I was walking to Madeline in Steven's house from my parents house, and this is an in for me. It's like when you're walking like outside, just like look up at the sky, it's like really disorienting and borderline like it gets you high. And I was having like an almost euphoric experience looking at the clouds change and we need to bring back, like pointing shapes out of the clouds, like, oh, that looks like an elephant, Like that's in for me.

Something you sound. You sound like you've been sober for a long time, because anything that brings you a little joy, you're like, it's almost like being high.

Well, no, try it like I'm just high on life now.

Yeah, I do agree, not doing you don't want to simply say I just don't want to do that. No, I'm okay, thank you, or please stop bothering me.

Did you hear that? You're okay?

And you are you okay? And your voice, Oh my god, I think I'm in hell. I literally think I'm in hell and you has been a suckybis demon that has been stocking me my whole life.

What no, Because she's like a male. It sounds like a man's voice, right.

It sounds like she's speaking thirty like languages, including Latin. It sounds like a demon whispering in my ear at night.

It's weird.

Oh now you're back, you're.

Oh you know what I think it is? I think this mic might be broken.

It literally is tapped into hell. I'm pretty sure, like the screaming souls of hell.

Didn't they sound like a bunch of different voices at once.

Yeah, yeah, that's like voices, is it?

Okay? If I just used this mike because.

This one is perfect whatever you're doing right now?

Okay? Well, Also, what's in is local news? I would like to be fear mongered based on my location. I missed watching the news and being really scared about my surrounding neighborhood because I have not felt the fear of like a neighborhood that I've lived in for like a really long time. And I was just like, wow, we need to go back to like the twenty four to seven news cycle just playing on the TV like all day and night.

That's actually a good one.

Out is excessive self care. It's just not that serious, really an excessive like oh I microblade, I fucking.

Ice roll, like okay, Like, yeah, bitch.

When you die, to moral, guess what, You're gonna look like shit in that fucking casket because your parents are not gonna get makeup by Ariel to come and beat your fucking face. So the plumpness of your face won't even matter because you're gonna look like shit in your casket. So the excessive self care is pointless. Being drunk is out for me, which is like opposing Kays wanting to drink more, Like I've never like drank and then been like, oh, I'm so happy I drank last night, Like that was

Why that is a stark contrast from the ny I knew two years ago. You go to Miami and you become a completely different person because you love lines.

I know, but I decided, like it's kind of like I'm wasting minutes. I'm never going to get back for something that like is kind of pointless, like waiting, Like I'm trying to think of what I would wait in line for, and I can't think of a single thing that I'm like, oh my god, I would love to wait for that, Like I want to so bad.

I'll wait for.

Vegetarian and veganism. We will all pair sooner than you realize. Be free.

Yeah no, I'm gonna start eating like fucking rodents and shit.

Yeah, I want to eat meat this year.

Like roaches. I bet roaches like in twenty fifty eight are going to like be a delicacy, like they're going to be the only thing we can eat because they're the only thing that can survive, like the police.

Is there any nutritional value from a roach? Though?

I was going to be protein. There's got to be protein, all.

Yeah, there has to be something in there. And then the last two things that are out for twenty twenty four one being travel vloggers. I don't give a fuck where you sat in the plane. Don't take a picture of it. Just get on the fucking plane in silence. And then the last thing is limiting your screen time is out. Just indulging your screen time. It literally doesn't matter. We are a generation of the screen and you are not going to be the first person to break it.

So yeah, bed running is in, like it's always betten in and always will be in. Okay. I found out that German cockroaches contain about seventy eight grams of protein per one hundred grams dryway, So like, find one hundred grams of cockroaches and you can survive.

Actually sounds like a lot of cockroaches.

To find though, like, but that's also crazy. That means like one cockroach, like one gram of cockroach contains like zero point seven eight like seventy eight percent of its body is essentially protein. Y. I, oh my god.

What you're fucking calm? What were you gonna say?

I was literally gonna say protein powder? Weird bro, Like, literally, what are you on about? It was on about some like you cum shit, like I've.

Never said that to you. Well, I think I've also decided that birds are disgusting because I've seen two videos that grossed me the fuck out, one of them being like the hollow chest part. It actually makes me want to fucking kill myself. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Wapsies?

No, Like, somebody moved the there's a bird apart, and like they had like this like harder like shellcasing, and it was like where they're like making the noise from it was like a TikTok. I saw, I'll find it and show it to you. It is fucking disgusting. And then I saw how birds grow their fucking feathers.

I know you've been wondering how feathers grow, and this is what they look like when they're brand new, it's so creepy, looks a little bit weird. They look like spines or some sort of horrendous growth coming out with a bird.

But these are pin feathers.

And this is what a brand new baby feather looks like when it comes through the skin.

It pierces through the.

Skin covered in this sheath which is made out of keratin, this sort of stuff your nails and hair are made out of.

And I am not kidding. Birds are so fucking nasty and if you have pet birds, something is actually fucking wrong with you. And that.

Yeah, no, I'm still there. I have gotten over like birds attacking me constantly, and I don't think they're out to get me anymore. My new fear is drones. Drones are evil. We need to like eradicate like drones. Drones are out and not like war drones, like personal flying drones.

I know what you're talking about. Oh dude, I'm trying to find the video of this fucking bird trust and it's so gross. But every time I look a bird trust, it's like a man like, what's happening?

Isn't that like a term for.

There's it's that and there's pecus karen atum and peck this caraenatum or peck this caraenatum and peck this escavatum. Escavatum is when your chest goes in and you've seen the clips of people eating bowls of cereal like out of their like stirred eye spot, that's escavatum, and then karen autum is when it goes out like a mountain.

Well, I'm never gonna find this video because it's only videos of men's chest, but there's a video of some.

Wait, let me see it. Can you say, can you show me that?

Are you video? No?

I just want to see it, like, because it's they're all like row shaved down. Okay, actually nasty, but yeah, that's how men shaving their body is out.

Yeah, men who shaved their body kind of freaked me out, but like to each their own. I feel like I probably shaves his chest.

No, I don't. I don't shave my chest. If you shave your chest then it grows in. This This is what I've heard is that if you shave your chest and ass, it's really uncomfortable because it gets itchy.

Drew, I shaved my ass when I was like eighteen before and I was like, there was probably when I was seventeen, because I would remember being in the back. The poulture geist is literally haunting me. I swear to God, but I remember in the back, in the back of the class like this.

Why wouldn't you just use your fucking hand to get your ass through your pants?

Because you putting my hands in my buttthole, your butthole.

I feel like every boy has gone through this once they go through puberty and their ask gets all harry. You shave it with like a razor, and then you're in next thing. You know, You're like, yeah, you're rubbing your ass against.

The girls shave their ass all the time. It's like a common thing like that. Everybody's like, oh my god, my fucking butt. It's just because I shaved my ass.

See, I don't know stuff like that.

How about this?

A million kids come up missing?

Who do you all think happen to these kids? Every time people come up missing. The more and more people come up missing, the more they release more chicken so chicken shit, I'm noticing it. I literally that will always be the best ever. Yeah, it's like prophetic. It's literally like genius, Like it.

Really does make you so badly if he meant that with like his whole heart, or if he was just like being funny, because if he meant it, that's crazy. But if he made that as a joke, that is the funniest joke I've ever heard told in our like time, like it is so good. Well, also, on the last episode, you talked about the Sephora thing, and I was like, what are you talking about. I've been seeing all the tiktoks about like the rowdy ass fucking annoying children who

I can't kick ten year olds in the head.

Well, support can write into their guidelines that if a ten year old crosses that entryway line that I can kick them in the head. Then I think I touch what.

We can't so scared of Yeah, like I'm so scared of me? Yes, oh good.

We should have just called the podcast ed podcast. That's what I was thinking, because like emergency in a comps like so long, and then if we call the edy it's and you Drew podcasts.

No, No, then we could have had this function.

We could have had like I love ed for March.

No, I feel like that wouldn't have gone over that.

That is like maybe the worst thing you've ever said.

Because what's it's just our initials.

No, it's eating disorder.

Yeah, because we're eating this order.

Like we're eating the order that was served to us frozen.

Why do you say, why am I giving ice cream?

I'm giving ice cream right now. Well, by what's your ins and outs?

Did you do yours already? Drew?

Or I don't have any? I told you how to write them, write them?

Okay, I'll do my ends A twenty four movies. You know when you see that logo, it's going to be a good ass movie.

Okay that just keep.

Going, Okay, Matt rithe goat, Okay, keep.

Going, because I this might be is this for your twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four?

This is twenty twenty four being a male? Pick me the bell jar.

Give us give it wait Kai, give us like your best mail, pick me energy right now.

He did it. He's been doing it for the past thirty six minutes.

For the past like twenty episodes, if you if you have noticed. Okay, what else is in Kai? Oh the bell Jar? Okay, My Year of Rest and Relaxation? Anything really by Joan Didion. Omnipresent surveillance by governments is in. Guys. We're gonna see more of this as time goes on, and we're going to be losing more and more of our privacy rights. Me being the baby of the group is in. I think we can all agree that that is in.

Say I'm baby, I'm.

Baby, I'm literally baby. Okay, two thousand and six. Xbox era lag switches.

Oh shit, we should do.

I don't know what that is.

Oh. It was like it was like these electronic switches that you would connect your Xbox to like fuck up the internet connection and then you could like headshot people because you would like lag around and stuff.

It was basically it was so it would like shut everyone's Internet off for like as long as you wanted, and it would lag everybody in the game and you could just go and like sweat and stomp all over the lobby.

Yeah, okay, they do. I'm gonna do one more in Sprite. Sprite is in, guys. Sprite Lemon Lime is refreshing. It tastes good and it's super cheap.

Is this an ad read for sprite that you're like throwing out?

I have to drink it for the super good. Okay, I'm gonna do my outs.

Tasting like electricity, it's like TV.

Finish it. You didn't even finish it though. If it's so good, finish it.

Chug it, Okay, and then eat a banana.

I can't. You should have a bite of a banana. Take half of the sprite. Finish the banana.

Is that like a thing, it's like bad or something.

No, it's no, it's literally like like here's cancer or something.

Oh, I don't know about I didn't know about that. Okay, out sambas they're cooked. I think we can all agree that sambas are cooked. Ketamine therapy is out. Everyone who did it has severe brain damage, including me.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Locking in us out because a lot of people to carry. We're locking in, locking in, Oh, like lock in, lock in, locking in because you lock in ketamine therapy and now your brain is all melted and you can't. You can no longer lock in federal reserve raising interest rates. I think we're done raising interest rates in twenty twenty four. Inflation is now under control, and we're gonna stimulate the economy and we're gonna see equities soar in twenty twenty four. So those are my ins and outs.

Well, I came up with a few while we were sitting here. They're not nearly as good as yours, Ki, but you had some really great ones. Okay, I have one out and it's fentonyl poisoning?

Was that ever?

In? Like?

Was that?

But I was rooting for it?

Oh okay, but you might be the only one who who was like, oh my god, like this needs to catch on. I think ins and outs is like kind of like, oh my god, trends.

Oh well, yeah, well then fent not poisoning is in? Like is that what y'all want me to say?

Like no, no, Like it's just like why okay, keep.

Going okay in uh Lonna del rey okay? And being happy?

Are you just gonna smile to be happy?

Or as the prophet Cameron Dallan's once said, don't be depressed.

Just smile.

Just smile.

You have such like a creepy pasta smile.

Like this is my real smile. I don't know if I never learned how to smile, or if I have so much bucle fat or so much collagen in my skin that like I can't smile, Like my teeth like I feel like they're like too far back in my mouth.

You're so Edgar Allan Poe like Cody.

But that's not a good smile.

That's not your real smile.

This is my real I swear to God, this is my real smile. How do you smile for a photo like this? No, I swear to God. Look at any picture smiling.

You look like you're a cold case that just got solved thanks to the new DNA. But you're like cakes has been cold. It's eighteen thirty one.

No, I swear this is how I smile.

I'm not.

I don't know that's how I smile for a photo.

I'm like, okay, you smile.

Wait did you? Why? Why did she leave? Oh? All right, guys, No, I didn't even get into my don't get start. I feel like any other chance.

My ends are when friends seem like they need help and that extra juge to keep them going. Just ignore it, because taking on people's emotions is really hard for yourself, and especially if you're in a good place. You shouldn't be helping other people because they're just gonna bring you back down. So if you've gone up and your friends are still behind, you should keep going because if that friend really cared for themselves, they would just catch up.

And the girl is money, should we announce our podcast together?

Kyle? Oh?

Yeah, announce it right now.

Let's do it all right on three one two, three Money, Angels, Bitches, video Games.

Angel Oh that's the name.

Podcast for four?

Oh, that's it.

Four Okay. Would y'all get a tattoo of me if I died?

Yes? But not of your face?

Like what would your tattoo be?

Oh? Would I get another tattoo of you? I guess? Is the question technically the first one? The brand?

Or oh when you branded him? That's not that's not really like a friendship tattoo.

That's kind of like then have we ever talked about on the podcast? How like a week into me knowing Drew? He like my God branded me and like carved something into my skin.

No, but it sounds like something conventional.

It was fully consensual.

Oh, it was supersual.

The thing is, no, we haven't talked about it. I don't think we're ready to talk about it because the way you reacted was borderline depressing. So and it got infected and that's why you can never see the lower half of your body.

It was also a QR code, so there was a lot of detail.

Q That's what I would do.

I would get a QR code and it would be a link to a TikTok of you and be.

Drew like actually though, because I think like for you and I would probably get a bunny and for Kai. I haven't really thought about it too much, but probably the Nike logo. Okay, Nike, guy, you love Nike.

I don't really like Nike that. I feel like you guys don't even know me.

You're always wearing Nike.

Because I don't remember the last time I wore.

Aren't the sandy shoes Nike? The ones with sand and them? No?

Those are those are a six? Wait.

I saw someone do like pick your like it was like pick your favorite emergency in or COmON moment, and the sandy shoe was one of them.

And it was I think about that and it's it is crazy how that wasn't scriptive in my shop.

It was not like like why was it full of sand? Had you gone to the beach? Or like I guess because when you get to that age, you're you're just slowly de tearing. I started to turn into at the end of the days, like you shake it. It's just like little ashes.

I would try to get, Like when I could get the Glossier logo, I think, yeah, kind of it, but like then you kind.

Of just look look like a billboard for Glossier. I don't know if anybody be like, oh my god, Kai Newman like Glossier hoodie that.

He always pres logo.

Oh, the Prius would be good.

What about like a big like what about the SpongeBob where he has a bunch of cash and he has like grills?

Oh you know what? You you could get like a dove leaving a cage because you're freed now that he's dead. Yeah, you're like, oh, you're free. Not Kay is free, but Drew's free.

What That's not what I was saying. I was saying that Kay was free.

And like I think I would get a little like for Drew. I would get like a little anemy like you know the have you ever seen like the Korean tattoo artists who do like little like anenemies and like sea creatures and color. Yeah, I would get one of those for you. Oh My end this year is Kay should become a father, but by accident, and it should be big Dru.

I would actually make a very good dad, like I genuinely do believe that, like I really, But.

Then who's gonna do the like edit the podcast?

Baby?

Think about us?

A baby's already editing the podcast.

So okay, you can teach a baby how to edit it.

Okay. Last thing I need to talk about something that was freaking me the fuck out is food eating competitions, Like why did we let that happen in society? And also food eating competition like vloggers who just go around to random restaurants and set up the camera and eat food. Like have you watched the way they eat food? It is genuinely so fucking scary. They're like scarfing it down. And as a girl who's buff as fuck who eats hell of food.

Okay, but Matt Stone. I think it's Matt Stone, Matt Stoney. He's like a YouTuber that eats. He's go He's like in Kobeashi when you would eat all the hot dogs really quick, and then in the Cheater there was like a big cheating scandal. Like I kept up with the food eating contracts.

Do you even cheat?

Like because like you would stuff, like someone stuffed a bunch of like the hot dog bread inside of their water cup, so they were just eating the hot dogs. And then like he won, and then they watched the footage back after they like crowned him champ and they were like, oh wait, like he cheated and it was like a big thing in the food eating world. But yeah, Kobeyash, she's the goat. He will always be my goat.

Mas Stone does it in his car, right, Matt Sony like.

He no, he's like a YouTuber. He's been doing it on YouTube.

I think I might be to give somebody else because I remember there was like a O G YouTuber who used to just like eat a bunch of food in his car, like a shit ton of food. But I might be to give someone else, but like it is so weird. And then there's always like this one girl I was watching, there's always an audience that gathers around her and like they watch her and like cheer her on. Yeah, before it was genuinely freaking me out.

Like I was going to say, there's this dude that I've been keeping up with, and I was telling you about him like a few weeks ago, how he had like like right before we left, like there there were people that just like genuinely hate him for absolutely no reason, and he would like, uh, he he would go to restaurants and people would like follow him around the country and like watch him eat while he's live on TikTok and that's like his whole.

Thing and he just for like a food eater.

Yeah, that's that's another level of like, well, okay, let's be honest, Like, since I am eating so often, like technically emergency intercom fans are like watching me every time they watch me, they watched me eat and devour the competition.

I think you eat all the time, Drew. I think you always look amazing. Can you put me back?

Guy? I don't know how to make you come back. Where did Drew go? Drew's camera just wept black.

He didn't even like, what the why is my camera?

It's wherever you move, it's whenever you move.

M drew the lights off.

I don't know the lights just went off, but I found a flashlight that has a black light, and I was like, oh, like look like, oh, don't come on my hands.

I don't know if that's not funny, like it would make it makes sense that they're oh.

What was that? Shine it on your face again? Why?

Because we can't see.

Oh, there's like what it's like a ton of cum on your face.

It's like a lot.

Well, I can't even see. What are you talking about?

Where do you know?

There's why you wash your face?

I gotta go.

Are you gonna wash your face at least? Or just like leave it on?

Are you gonna shut the fu up or something?

There's so much coum on your face, just.

Like okay, and I get play. You're probably jealous, like oh you wish like it's basically like slugging, Like it's like you ever heard of slugging?

When that is so gross? What do you do when it dries?

Just peel it off? Like Elmer's blue on my palm in my hand.

Like why would you not clean the cum off of your face before.

I literally just said it's good for my skin.

Do you get that information?

How often is your face covering Tom when we shoot these videos?

Literally every single time?

Do you like have to Is that you're like pre show remedy.

No, it's just it's on all day, every day. Have you ever noticed why I don't go out to parties as much anymore because of this exact conversation would be happening. Oh, because god forbid, there's a black, white like.

Guy who can't go to parties because everybody is gonna know he has come all over his face.

And seeing guys, I wanted to make sure because it's kind of looking very real.

I don't know if anybody would have believed you were just sitting in your sister's house with come all over your base.

But this does feel really nice?

All right? Well, should we get into media?

Yes, it's a bunch of that vasoline. I literally am slugging right now.

Well, I watched Beef and it was fucking awesome. I watched every episode in like seven hours, and it was freaking lit and.

It was so good that she called me. She literally called me and was like, Drew, you have to watch this show.

Yeah, it was really fucking good. And what movie did I watch?

I watched The Liberals Ruined Everything?

Oh, the Liberals were ruined Christmas.

It's this documentary?

Is that real?

No? No, but it I kind of talked about it. Or what else did you watch? Any Sorry?

I was gonna say, I watched Saltburn and.

I, damn, you're so different.

I know. That's what I feel like if I feel really annoying because the only people in my life who didn't like it are like straight men who were like me.

And that's exactly what I texted.

I texted Drew was like I was so angry. I was like, no, I know.

Like, okay, but imagine if it was two girls with boobs talked about more.

Literally, the the girl version of Saltburn is Handmaiden, and that's a good fucking movie. That movie is fucking lit.

I still haven't seen the Salt Bay, and I don't know if I ever will see Saltbay just because everyone, Oh is it really? Yeah, that's where I watched it.

Barry Keegan is the main actor, right, yeah, he is as good as fuck.

Was I saw something that he jumped through, like I think he had like twenty different foster families or something. This could be misinformation, but like he had like twenty different foster families and then like had just like a really really rough upbringing.

Is that when he got killing him Sacred Deer? Is that what?

Was that his first big one? I think that was like his first big role.

I will say everybody in it, like their acting was on ten. I just like didn't. I didn't like the ending, Like I don't know. I just was like, okay, Like there's so many shows and movies that have a take on like the Class Divide, and that's just like not my best take on it. Like that's not my favorite take on it. It was a good movie, but I was just.

Like by the end, I was like, Okay, it wasn't the take that like the middle class guy is the bad guy and the rich one percenters are like the good ones. Isn't that wasn't it like middle class people are liars? Like I walked out of that movie being like, oh, I guess the middle class I.

Walked out of that movie being like, oh, bisexual people are evil. That one, like the star of by Erasure, I was.

Like, oh, okay, so he revealed that he lived in thirteen different foster homes. Every family was good to him as a kid. You don't know what's happening. You get attached and then boom, let's move over here. He told Ireland's The Late Show. He remained with his biological brother the entire time he lived with various families. He was

But yeah, that's a crazy come up story.

Yeah, so he did bounce around foster homes, which is like, that's like next level shit, Like it's super cool.

He has the most World War two face for real.

Yeah, no, literally, he looks like he should only be playing in movies set in like eighteen forty one.

He would have killed common see, he would have bodied that role. I haven't seen it. I don't think I've seen anything with him ever. Maybe or no, his face is familiar. I've seen him around in something. Yeah, but uh, I was I gonna say the movie that I watched I talked about it briefly that where I was just like damn, dude, like that's a goddamn movie. Was Poor Things, Like how have you seen it yet?

Dude? I thought Poor Things was so fucking good?

Was it not? Like incredible?

Like it was so good. I've been feeling so jaded because I'll keep on watching new movies and just be like, no, that was mad. And then I'm just like, oh, I guess I'm the asshole because I've said this about like the last eight movies. And then I saw that and I was like, I don't know. I was just really blown away by it. Kind of reminded me of like the Pans Labyrinth era of movies.

Yes, exactly.

There's so much attention to detail the story.

It was so weird. This set design was like fucking incredible. Like I will say, like the first twenty minutes of the movie, I was like, oh no, like oh my god, like no, like please don't do that, like this is crazy. And then and then after like the story developed and the plot developed a little bit, I was like, oh word, this is what this movie is about, Like holy shit.

I think that's probably why we like it. Honestly, does she show her.

Boobs of Vagina? Because I need to go see it?

Ironically, I don't know if it's really hers, but like there is a bunch of s in that movie, and that's when it was like really funny to me at points, was like when S was happening, like it wasn't like good like sex, Like it was like genuinely funny like times to be doing as I don't know, Yeah, it was great.

It was great, Okay, so I need to see it.

Yeah.

Then the last thing is fucking Ray's Anatomy. Oh my god, I love Gray's Anatomy. And I don't know why none of y'all told me that this show was perfectly engineered and made for me. But like it's legitimately like the best show I've ever seen to me, Like everything that happens in that show, like it's horrible, like duh, Like it's not good, but like it is so good, Like I can't, I don't know how to describe it, like.

I need to start it.

It's like medical and like love shit, and like it's all so like crosses or should cross your suspension of this belief, but it doesn't, and like a lot of like the medical things that happen in it, you're like, girl, come on, like that shit did not happen. That person did not have toxic blood and it just killed like thirty hospital staff because they did surgery on them. And then you look it up there and there is a real yeah, there is.

A case of that happening with that woman who had like meth or something in her system.

Yeah, and it like yeah, there's just like a bunch of medical cases that are really cool, and then there's just like a bunch of love stories and like also like I can't tell if I'm just like in love with every one of the cast members because they're all like so hot, or maybe they're not, and I'm literally just tripping. But like some of the acting is like really really like pretty.

I'm pretty sure some really good like actors walked away from that, like yeah, like some of the main casts are now like really good actors.

Huge, huge, huge, Do I look good?

Because one of my ins this year resolutions is active listening, and I'm thinking.

Like, yeah, yeah, you've been good, You've been good.

I mean that's a little intense though it's a little.

Bit that I just have a sniff. I'm gonna like.

They looked like.

Wendy Williams when you do that.

They introduced Mit yet.

Oh dull, Like that's one of the original I thought that he was season two Yeah, I remember when he well he has he I think he was introduced in season one, but he's big season two guy, in season three guy. But he's just as fine. It's Jacob Lord. He's dad than Euphoria. Oh yeah, I was telling any but she's not actively listening.

Sorry, guys, By the time you watch this, my mewmu post will be up, but I have to post for Mumi right now, so I've been looking down at my phone to see if they approve of me.

Such an insane life, like so insane, but like, yeah, go like that ship right.

Now, like my og post. Okay, I'm gonna do media so we could get off because I literally have to finger this out Crazy World by King Guidra, Give Me Love by George Harrison, Walking Across the Field by Steve Hyit, and Cure for Pain by Morphine, and Drop Top by Anisia. That's my fucking media of the fucking week.

Ooh ooh. Mine is intro Lawrence Guy Toy Visible Clocks. Actually, instead of reading all these songs off, go listen to f R A w YS Volume fifteen Siren Siren Hate Tim. This whole album is insane, like weird esoteric music, but like Toy t Oh Visible Cloaks is like crazy, but it's like a collaborative album between three like weird ass musicians and they make just so weird, like such good music.

All right, guys, but.

Okay, great job on the episode today, guys.

Peace and love. Good job Kai you killed it.

Bye mhm shot