Who Welcome back to this episode of Emergency Intercompany. As you can see, we got a doozy today.
It just like it looks stupid. You have to admit, like, look.
At me, Look at me, bro, Can you be happy about anything?
I know, I know you want to do something cool for like the anniversary, but I was thinking like fireworks or like confetti or maybe a cake, A good cake would have been fun.
But you don't like any of my ideas for real, Like.
I think it looks I for you.
No, you look stupid. I look skinny. I look skinny, not stupid. You look stupid.
Okay, you know what? No, I said.
I don't want to come on.
No, I want to get put down.
Someone just put me down, please come on. He oh my god, oh my god. Can someone fucking help her? Like damn like help her? Y'all?
Oh my god? Someone please?
All right, y'all are all fired? Like who threw that bottle? By the way, what what are we supposed to do? I'm trapped up here and you are you okay? I think you? Oh my god? And you are you okay? Okay? Like bruh right, Yeah, that was that was really intense. Actually, are you Okay.
You threw a fucking bottle at me, Like, why are you acting like you care?
Because you called me stupid?
I fell through a wooden table, like I.
And you might have deserved that. You might have deserved that.
Honestly, I don't know, Like I don't think that's like a karmic thing, Like I don't think people falling through tables is like, Oh, that's karma, that's what you get. You did something bad and I didn't do anything bad. We looked dumb. You look dumb. I don't know why you're still sucking up there.
I mean, we paid for a full day, so I'm gonna use it to the furthest extent I possibly can, and I'm gonna float here the whole episode.
You Like, before you looked kind of dumb, and now.
You look really stupid. I feel like I look cool.
Actually you're, like you said, it's giving you a huge ass from the back. Well, I guess we'll just get into the episode and we'll just act like nothing is happening, nothing, nothing weird is happening. Doing all that made me forget that we have a full episode to do and it's an anniversary episode we've been doing this for three years now, which is so scary at the anniversary, guys, there's so much. All I can think when we get this far every time we hit a mark is the fact that, like,
I feel like we've been doing this forever. But there's some people who are on there like three.
Hundred thousands, yeah, like crazy vibes. And remember in the beginning when we were like, yeah, we're probably only going to do it for like a year, and like give up then, but.
The validation is just too rewarding.
Wait, am I giving Kevin Gates?
It's fun with a I really want to make an edit of Drew doing all the emotes like that. I wish I could like swing you around. Oh do we have a stick? I should h him like a pinat or.
No, no, no, no.
Please we should next time. Well, oh we do have a stick. Oh well I only have one arm right now. I did break my wrists. Oh this is perfect?
Please no, please no, can y'all let me down? I'm scared?
Say say don't, please, say please don't. You're so gorgeous. I love you.
Please don't you're so gorgeous? I love you? Oh? Oh oh lad? Sound effect?
This is the manifestation of the gay Little Monkey pinata that somebody did. I don't know if we ever talked about that on the episode.
I don't think so. But before we get into that, yeah, I just want to say that this what I'm doing now has been an idea that I've had for since the genesis of the podcast. Actually is I've like literally wanted to just float here the whole time, and then in the original idea I wasn't going to address it at all, but like being here, I'm like, I actually have to, like, this is so ridiculous.
It's just so ridiculous because you're either sitting on a chair that looks like it's made of pure carcinogens.
It's like water dripping. We're cooked, were cooked.
We broke the ceiling of the studio. Well, I have to look at my notes because now I'm so like discombobulated at the fact that we Wait.
Yeah, me too. Can you hear me in my phone?
Up there?
Where am I gonna put my phone.
In a pocket? You have pockets?
Still my big ass, my big butt, in your big butt. You take a picture? But is this for your app Oh? Wait?
Oh my gosh, birth day? Wait, it's actually really good. Also, if you notice that there's like a like you might be like, oh my god. Although the beginning of the episode was so hectic and terrifying because you saw me get hurt, you might be like, there's a calming presence right now, and it's because Kai isn't here. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Kai isn't here. So we just had to make sure he wasn't here to ruin the vibes of the three
year anniversary. So if you're wondering why he's not here, and that's why we are just like you need to stay home. Why have we normalized people doing live streams wearing that VR ship? Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you seen that on TikTok? Like the YouTubers like the like this, like the overly set people.
No I have girl? Why do you have that?
Okay, I don't know why. All over my timeline, all I ever get is like people who are dressed like in sexy Avatar characters doing a virtual live and there's always like four hundred to like a thousand people in there interacting with the person as if it's fully normal. Have you seen the tubers like the I've seen I think I've seen streamers who use like yeah, like avatars. Yeah, but there are there v tubers who like they do.
Like you're like the most famous people on this planet, like doing like proper tours with like you've seen the video of them, like all the girls like screaming like about like the v tuber like that just showed up on the big screen in front of them and like he's like singing, No, I haven't seen. Oh, let me find that, because it's like really really like dystopian and advanced that.
I mean, it's crazy because we're the same generation to make fun of the old people who are on Facebook and seeing the weird AI generated photos of Jesus like parting the sea, and we're making fund of old people. Wait, is that someone performing or is it like a pre recorded thing.
I don't know still, I think it's someone actually performing behind the stage. But they just like haven't like revealed themselves.
They haven't had a dream face reveal. Yeah, the dream face reveal will go down in times like the Most fucked Up Ship.
One of the worst like things that we've ever done as a society.
Like the thing is I wonder if because he got so many like I'm trying to find my words correctly right now because I don't want to sit on this podcast and be like that motherfucker's float.
Or float on the podcast, like you're sitting, I'm floating. You're so jealousy right now. Actually, it's crazy. You wish you.
I feel like you don't know what to do with your legs.
I know, I'm like kicking around, but.
Like it must have been so fucked up because everybody, without seeing his face, was like, oh my god, he's so sexy, Like his aura is so sexy. And then when he revealed his face, I know he thought he was gonna get like double the praise.
What's sad too, is like like preparation for that for him was really intense, saying like photos of him had leaked before and like he was able to like like reel in the rumors, but like those photos were him, and he thought he was gonna like eat down, but like, yeah, that's not to see.
Well, I decided that having quadruplets must mean that you did something fucking evil in your past. Having anything above twins. Twins already, Oh my god, twins already feels like a curse. No offense, Drew but quadruplets. That sounds like something that shouldn't fucking exist. And also the fact that because can't people hello.
True mhm, I think the blood's getting to my brain. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking you Like, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm joking. I'm joking.
But yeah, because can you go up to having six tuplets? Is that's what it's called.
Some people have had octuplets, Like do you remember elm No, she gave birth like a fucking dog. She was shipping those babies out of her butthole like a vagina, Like I just swear.
To God, Like where do you have that many babies?
And they survived section I think she did it naturally. Hell yeah, those babies also all survived. I watched like a day in the life, like like doing anything like casually just doesn't work, Like it just doesn't work. But I saw also these lights. You're freaking out, I'm so sweaty. But no, I saw like an updated like what are they up to now? Vibe And she he's just like a normal mom, but like has like one hundred babies running around.
Her house the same are they fraternal.
No, they're fraternal. I think, yeah, they're fraternal.
Because having more than oh my god, twins and like the fucking Stone Age, you probably got stoned to death because it.
Seemed like crazy, demonic.
Mixed to have twins was definitely stone to death because they thought she was a witch. Like that was so insane to have more than one baby, because in my head already, we were at a hotel once altogether and we were all watching birthing videos and it was freaking me the fuck out. And the fact that some people go through with having like upwards of four to six babies at once, like sounds like a nightmare, sounds like a curse, sounds like you did something evil in your
past life to have that many babies. But then what's fucked up is some people literally like that happens. I want They're so happy.
I want twins. Like having a twin growing up was literally like the greatest childhood I could ever imagine. Like we were just like best friends. We still are best friends, and we're planning a road trip together right now. Like if everybody else in my life just like dropped that or just like decided to all hate me at once, like we are so connected that like that's the tea, Like that's literally the tea.
I wonder if there's definitely twins out there who fucking hate each other.
Oh, one hundred percent. I know some because my mom was in this thing called Mothers of Multiples, where like all of the twins in my hometown, like the mothers would all get together and like get fucked up and then put all the twins in a room to just like play together. And uh, there were a couple that fucking like hated hated hated each other each other. Oh, I just said the safe word. What I said, mothers of multiple it's like moms, like ten times, I'm good,
I'm good, I'm good. The safe word is mother or mom mo mo mom mom.
We were trying to find a word that we wouldn't say, but everything we said felt like something we would just say.
We said, like yellow, like girl, what am I on about?
I guess yellow would make sense because it's not something we would naturally say. But yeah, if you were gonna give birth to triplets and you just so be like happen to be watching this, I feel scared for you. And I'm sure you're scared because idea of having three infants in a house like, hell the fuck No, I'm literally low key abandoning those babies I had.
T Should I do sigh up and then get down?
Yeah, okay, I'm not you mean phone, give me phone, help me, help me?
Okay. Drew sy up Corner a liberal rap artist twenty one pronouns Kange, West, MTF, doom, gender, Rick Lamar, and Tyler the Creator.
Ah, that's good.
When it starts raining in NYC, all the people wearing sheines start smelling like Chernobyl Prize pony. People don't take selfies. Oh wait, people, please stop taking selfies in your bed. Your pillow looks like a used tea bag.
That's literally you for like three years of living here.
Like horrible. I know paper ooh, this is a good one. I know that paper towels in the kitchen hate seeing me coming. I know they hate me like stomping in there to rip them to shreds. Oh wait, have we said this one before, the misogynistic one? Uh? Maybe, but you go you say you say it? Oh my god, you do a couple in your sigh off corner.
This one just doesn't feel like me, like I wouldn't say this one misogynistic. How about you start massaging this dick like I wouldn't. That doesn't make sense for me to say grape soda doesn't even taste like grapes finisher as he'll tastes like purple. Please don't play me any more, shoegaze. I've heard enough play me a child's laughter or running water in a creek. I want to hear life blossoming around me in all corners. I want to be overwhelmed a child like awe and wonder towards.
The world like dead serious. If I hear any more, I'm gonna freak the fuck out.
This one's real. If your head gang weak, I'm peeing in your mouth. That's a good one. This charger from Dollar Tree changed my phone number.
When I was When I saw that, I literally was like, oh my God, like that would happen.
Bro. I treat my relationships like math. Once I'm confused, I attempt suicide. I fought sleeping naked was cute until around liked my clip. Bro, that's gross.
B those eight, what are you talking about?
You want your phone back or what do you want to get down?
Kimmy, Yeah, I'm ready.
I'm ready, Drew out to get down because he's a pussy.
Oh my little bit, bitch maid spread the rumors Drew's bitch made bit I'm boner maid.
Anyways, So somebody through a Drew themed birthday party. We need more of that. We need more of that kind of community building to keep the podcast aflow.
Just like fielding through the amount of times we were tagged in slash. If you look at the comments, all of it is like crazy. Oh wait on the video it said Drew on the video.
It's like literally a Drew dedicated video.
Yeah, we'll insert it now.
There's that.
I'm i'm ah you come Gellow.
There's like a bunch of good videos of you recently.
The AI I tried to change.
I was actually having so much fomo from that party, Like I was so jealous.
It was so fire, And I made a very very funny TikTok with Rain. I never posted it, but I might still post it.
Oh no, it's I literally showed it to everybody and everybody laughed, even.
The stiff video, like just killed me to be that.
Yeah, yeah, okay, it was like.
It was supposed to be me and Rain, like we put the Chokers on and then we got like nonchalant and like really emo, so we were like acting emo, but I just like went stiff. But I look like strong as fuck, Like I look big in that video, like my chest.
Maybe have you ever thought of just doing steroids? Like why don't you?
I actually on ironically? Have I want to get onsarms? I want to get on a trend protocol human growth hormone TRT like whatever, Like someone passed me the good shit, send me to a dealer, Like I'm gonna get big and strong for y'all.
I actually knew someone in high school who was on.
Steroids really in high school.
Yes, in high school, he was like on the football team and he was like actively on steroids, and it did give him a drug test a growth issue. I don't think they got drug tested.
Damn. That's crazy.
As far as I know, he was like literally on it.
And we were kind of close kids in my school, like my brother so my mom. Like in my school, like we got drug tested all the fucking time for literally no reason, and like most of the time like that legal. Yeah, like we signed like waivers and consents, like if you're in athletics, you get drug tested, so you're, oh, what fucking it was just what it was, and it was also like starting in like seventh grade. It was crazy.
But my basically how it would go is like if they had an inkling that a kid was using drugs, they couldn't just target that kid, so they would just like bring in a bunch of other people to like test around him, just so he felt like he wasn't being targeted. And it was kind of like a like a little like method or whatever. But my brother got called in one time, and this was in seventh grade, and my my brother like suffers from really really really
intense migraines, like debilitating migraines. So what he did was like he would take advalate, wouldn't work. He would skip school and like be in a dark room for days and days and days and it just wouldn't work. So my mom like gave him like a quarter of hydro codon pill, like a codeine pill to like help him. He didn't feel it or anything, but it was just to like alleviate his pain because he was like literally sobbing,
like it was debilitating. And then like two days later he got drug tested at school and the school called my mom freaking the fuck out. There were like, why is your seventh grader like taking opiates? Like what the fuck is going on? And she was like, oh that was me. I gave it to him, I know, and am aware and da da da da da. But yeah, they like freaked out. They were like, oh yeah, I don't think they.
Drug tested at our school. I never had that. Not a lot of people would have been in trouble. A lot of people would.
Have been like with weed and shit too, like they would test for weed and like.
No, yeah, drug dogs, but we didn't get tested.
Yeah. My biggest fucking fear was like someone sneaking weed into my bag, like when the drug dogs came and I got caught and like me not being able to like the camera's not being able to see it. Like I mentioned that all the time. I mentioned that, and I mentioned stabbing. I'm I I would rather die than get stabbed.
Well, in like tenth or eleventh grade, this girl I knew got into she got rushed at school.
You know what that is, Bama rush? Yeah, of course, no, I know what I mean.
Okay, she got rushed at school and she had her backpack on and at my school, if you got into a fight, they would check your things. They would like look through.
Your bag and shit, oh she was carrying the gun.
Yeah, she was carrying the gun.
Yeah.
Yeah, Everything I say I've said already, but oh my god, Okay, I have a new theory or not theory. I've already talked about this like a few episodes ago, but I keep falling on a side of TikTok where it's just people being fucking batshit crazy, and it was freaking me out. Yesterday somebody posted a video of the moon and there was like a light trail behind it and they were like, see the leftover rays from the sun because the sun
is planted. And they were fully convinced that the sun was a hoax and that the Sun isn't real, the Moon isn't real, and that they prop it up.
They think that the government, you know about the fermanent. No for the permanent, it's you're trying to manipulate me. You're trying to manipulate me, and to believe in the fermanent. No, it was it's flat Earth, Like basically, they're like, we're not on a sphere. So there's a sun in the sky and it just like rotates inside of a dome like it where in the firmament is like a dome over Earth.
If you are a flat earther, just admit you want to be different, so fucking bad. Like if you want to be that different, go like like IDM music or something, you have a person that make it different. At this point, like there, I guess there is no other option. I don't know, start a fucking Etsy shop and sell mugs
or something like do anything muggsy bogues. But all of the comments were so crazy and it was pissing me off because it was all older people who were like fifty something, and I'm like, damn, this is just sad to me because your childlike wonder has fully withered away. And now instead of just looking at the moon and being like caveman burning down and being like, wow, the moon, the moon is so amazing and far away, but I can see it, like something about this is so magical.
You're looking at it and you're convinced the government is propping that shit.
Up at night, Like you're too self aware now, and that's crazy. And the Internet just promotes like these dark recesses of the Internet that like are just communities of people like feeding into each other's delusions. Like it's really really insane.
If one of my homegirls told me that she thought the moon was fake, I would fifty immediately. I'm like, immediately you were before.
I don't. I don't think that I don't think the moon is fake. Like I don't think that you're a lost cause. And I don't think that you.
Are fully a lost cause. I don't think.
I just said I don't believe it.
Bro, I feel like you do. I could see you being like fifty something and becoming like a flat eartherer.
No, it's definitely in my card. It's like winning the lottery and becoming a flat eartherer are two things that will.
You're recently with his whole chest set to somebody who was like, it's going to be so sad actually the day I do when the lottery, because I will have nothing else to look forward to.
Yeah, Like it's it's real, y'all, like dead serious, Like I can I see my life post lottery, and it's gonna be very dark and depressing, like yacht one day, like helicopter rides to the island the next day, like buying a PEGANI p one or whatever. The fuck the car is like.
I'm depressing to you.
Yeah, I guess it is. Like, no, like we've been so conditioned to work work, work, work, work that like if we aren't doing something like work wise to like appease the shareholders, like our brains are fried and we're just like it's like all a part of the fucking it's all a part of the convince.
If everybody had my brain chemistry, we would be so much better off. Oh same, Like if we had your brain chemistry, we would be fun like we would be No, it would be.
All fucking lit, like it would be a movie, Like we'd all be like having fun and.
Shit, well, I've been really convinced I have scabies recently, and I don't have scabies.
Like, for the first time, I got to see what it feels like to hear me talk about my fake ailments, and I'm like, girl, shut the fuck up. It's made me a better person hearing you talk about having scabies truly.
But that doesn't stop you, because I have a feeling you're gonna literally convince yourself that in one of your legs you lost circulation, and I know you're gonna hit the doctor.
No I'm definitely there's a blood clot. I'm gonna have a pulmonary embolism, Like it's gonna be a whole thing.
I thought that, what is an embolism.
Like a blood clot that like shoots into your lungs like a strokes you out? Okay, but and you have scabies?
No, I don't have scavy.
She does.
I might have talked about this on an episode, or maybe it was an episode we stacked. Maybe it was the hotel episode that I like talked about it, but basically or actually, I think I didn't talk about it because I really convinced I actually had scabies, and I like part of my brain knew I didn't, but I was convinced I did because somebody said the word scabies around me recently, and I was like, oh my god, I would have scabies.
You you really haven't been bathing that much either, Like, which.
Is tea like because I read that that kills the scabies.
Wait, actually, yeah, not bathing kill scabies. Wait? Actually, no swear so you're supposed to not bathe? No, I'm kidding. Oh girl, I was like, what the fuck that's like?
No, I'm pretty sure, like you have to bleach bath and shit like you have to go crazy with the showering milki. But I was convinced. Oh you know why I was convinced because somebody recently told me that ringworm was going around and the gym's in La And then I was like, oh my god. And then in that same sentence, somebody was like, yeah, like one time I had a friend who got scabies from the gym, and we were going to the gym so much that I
was really convinced I was gonna get scabies. And then I had gone upstate and I got flea bites on my left leg and I was staring at them for like days, And I already know what flea bites look like from when we had a flea infestation, so I knew they were flea bites, but my brain wouldn't stop me from thinking I had scabies.
So my history were so ran through rancid.
We don't have ac that works. We had a flea infestation. Our doors don't like unlock when you lock them, which could be good because no one can ever get into our house. They don't unlock.
The dead bull on our front door. The knob. Oh yeah, it fell off like it's gone and it fell off when it was bolted, and I was like, thank god there wasn't a fire, because we would not have been able to get out of this house because our back door also locks, and we can't unlock it from the inside, like where.
You had had to climb out the windows, and like, oh hell no, but yeah, I was convinced scabies. And then my flea bites went away. And while I had flea bites, I called my dermatologists because I was like, okay, like, hey, I haven't seen you in a while, but I was wondering if I could come in. I have these bites on my ankles. I think it might be scabies. I feel like it's scabies. And mind you, this was a voicemail, so I sounded fucking insane, and I was like, hey,
I hope you're doing good. I'm just calling for a check up. I do have like a breakout on my chest that I want to look at, so that's one thing. Oh, Also, I have bites around my ankle and I think I have scabies. And I don't know if I come to you for scabies or if I go to a different doctor, And like, if you don't want scabies. I won't go
to you because I think I have scabies. And then she called me back and I missed the call, and she left me a voicemail where it was like, so, what you're describing sounds like a flea bite and I hadn't mentioned flea bites in the voice like message to her, and she basically told me not to waste my time coming to her, cause she was like, unless you have itchiness between your fucking toes and like between your fingers
and on your wrists, you don't have scabies. It sounds like you were probably somewhere where there was fleas And I literally was. I was upset. But then the other day in New York, I got bit by a mosquito three times on my leg, and it reignited my fear of scabies, even though they are mosquito bites. But yeah, like, I don't know why my new lingering thing is I think I'm meant to get scabies in my lifetime.
Well, you'd be surprised, because when we were talking about scabies with people, like more often than you'd think, they'd just like admit that they had scabies at some point in their life. And it's like a deep, dark secret, like a taboo secret that everybody keeps. But like, like I met like five people in the last week that have had scabies, which is.
What ignited my fear, because I was like, that means you bitches are just normal people and you get fucking scabies.
Like I don't want that, Like no, literally, It's.
Kind of like how when I was younger, I was convinced I was gonna like die from chicken pox. My new thing is scabies.
Did you hear the water? Yeah, it's tripping on me. I'm gonna look up and it's gonna go directly into my eyeball. I'm gonna get it busy, I'm gonna get walking around New York.
I'm scared that like an ac is gonna trip into my eyeball and I'm gonna go blind.
Oh.
Also, on the flight back home, I used the bathroom and I felt like my pants had dragged on the floor in the bathroom, and then I touched my pants at one point, and I was convinced my hands were covered in germs and that I was gonna get pink iy if I touched my face. But I couldn't go back to the bathroom because I was like I had to scooch past people to go to the bathroom, so instead I just sat there panicking for like an hour that I was gonna get pink eye and my eyes
were itching so bad. So I started using my sleeves and then I scratched my cornea with my sleeve and then I knocked out for two hours.
Mm hmm.
So that's where my mental state is, uh right.
Uh So the Hawktua girl, do you actually not know her?
I haven't seen it. I said so much that, but I just thought it was like, oh.
Okay, it's busted. But basically this is my take on it. So the Hawk Tour Girl is the girl that like was being interviewed Da da da da da, and like they asked her about giving head and she said, you got a hawk tool on that thing, like and she said that, and then everybody like thought that was the funniest thing in the world. So they like started like trying to find her like incessantly, like invading her privacy.
Oh it's like one of those drunk hawk.
Dudes on that night, Yeah exactly, And so like they
couldn't find her. Well, eventually she showed up at the barstool offices and did like an interview, and when she pulled up, she had like a team of like ten people around her, like a whole lass camera crew following her, like big ass like red as dead cameras or whatever the fuck they're called, like just following her around and shit, and like like everybody was like seeing that, and they were like, bitch, like don't get comfortable, like you're not
gonna be famous, Like we're not making you famous, Like you're not gonna have a career. We're not letting you have a career. And they were just like making fun of her for like taking a shot at fame, like, bitch, I swear she was working a factory job. So anybody in their right fucking mind who has to make their job for their fifteen minutes of fame, even if it meant like being made fun of, Like but at least they're not working a factory job. So that's my take
on it. Granted, she is like a little like she's funny, she's really silly, but yeah, I uh don't think the hatred towards her is deserving. I mean, even though it's ridiculous.
That's like classic internet shit. It's like when they made what's his nuts the yodeling kid in fucking Walmart famous, and then for some reason it became so popular of a thing to like bully the fuck out of him even though he was a gitchig. And now he went on stage with Lana Delray.
So Alana has her pulse, she has her fucking pulse, her finger on the pulse. Yeah, she has her finger, she has her fucking pulse. Yeah. No, she has her finger on the pulse, and she knows exactly what y'all don't want to see, and she'll do it anyways because no one can control my queen. And that's the real tea shout out, Lana del Rey, I love you. You saved my life.
Woman crushed Wednesday.
Uh, Glana is so beautiful.
Well, I had a thought that was like very immature, but the other day I got seriously sad, like actually upset at the fact that I won't be a young
turned crazy girl in the year twenty sixty nine. By twenty sixty nine, I will be seventy fucking years old, leather skinned, and that makes me so sad, Like that makes me really sad for some reason, And I'm so jealous because there's gonna be some like twenty three year olds who are posting from from their brain like neural link on ig making jokes about the year twenty sixty nine, and then there's gonna be kids who get to get highest fuck on four to twenty sixty nine.
But it's gonna be space Ganja. But like the craziest, the craziest fucking thing is by then, like we'll be able to reverse age. If they truly want, if they want to maximize profits, they would learn how to reverse age so we can work longer. And I have a feeling in the next twenty five thirty years we'll be able to freeze our age and we'll be.
Like, I don't know, because isn't there that one guy who he sold was it the guy who sold Venmo or something?
It's not Vemo, but I know you're talking about that, Yeah.
Who's like spending all his time and money to look younger and he still looks forty something.
Wait, well it might have been Venmo. Two million dollars a year is what he spends on reversing his age.
It is fucking sad, bitch. What you need to do is get a fucking therapist. Because you were lost.
It's like you never that deep. It's never ever that deep. But I think for him it's not even about like it's I mean, obviously it's a little bit of vanity purposes, but like truly it's just like seeing how far he can push like the human body. But science, yeah, I mean it's working. Like there's like these ways to tell how much you've aged, and like for every year that we age, he only ages like six or seven months.
I don't even want to live that long, Like what is the point?
No, for real, But by then, like we'll have like a pop star from Mount Olympus on Mars that like has bioluminescent skin that's like performing and outperforming all of our pop girls currently.
I just don't know, Like I think I have like the way people don't believe the Earth is round is the way I have a lack of belief in technological and scientific advances, where I'm just like, we we are not moving as fast as we thought, like and I don't think we can. But also I think I just like don't see the point, like.
Like I think the first flight, but from the very first time we flew to like landing on the moon was only like thirty years or something like that.
Like it was like, I don't, well, I don't believe in the moon landing.
Yeah, but you don't. You don't believe in the moon landing.
I don't. That shit's fake as fuck. We could do the moon landing. We should just do the moon landing on an episode. We literally could just fake the moon landing.
Next episode, we're faking the moon landing. Like that's a good fucking idea, Like for a show is to like, uh, fake all that whatever. You know what I'm saying, that's a good idea. Bro.
We can't even visit the Titanic shipwreck, like you think we can.
Do all that they have though, That's the thing they did it before a bunch of times.
Was that the first time it was a commercial experience.
No, they've gone on commercial.
Damn. That would be my luck. That would be my luck. I'd be like fuck it, like I'm riches.
All I know is that my veins and my body and in my legs are collapsing like that fucking uh submarine collapse under the ocean from hanging. Yeah that's what you get. But you're so jealous of me.
You kind of deserve it.
You're so jealous of me. Okay, Wingstop counter fucking days. I'm telling you, like, I have beef with all these fucking restaurants. Wingstop. You're canceled. Wingstop is for real canceled. I'm not even kidding. We're canceling Wingstop right now until Okay, it actually gets me so heated. Basically, it was day three and a row of me ordering Wingstop. I was on good fucking yeah, I was on such a good vibe. I love Wingstop, y'all. It's like literally the best food on this planet.
I think tonight wait, actually yeah, I think I might have it with rain vibe.
Best food on this planet earth. I ordered it for me and Josiah. It was sixty fucking dollars for two people to eat redonculous, and I ordered it through the Wingstop app because I was like, you know what, like I'll give money to the Wingstop app instead of like the fucking post meatsapp or whatever. I don't know that. I don't know my thinking. I always think that there's like a reward system or something like, because like if there is a reward for ordering too much Wingstop, I'm
gonna fucking get it. I literally order it like four or five times a week. It's like actual and the actual problem. I actually can't afford it, but I ordered it for it.
It is incredibly expensive.
I ordered it at ten fifty one for me and Josiah, and it said it was going to deliver by eleven fifteen. Well, I got text saying that my driver had picked up my order and they're delivering it through door dash. This is important. They said, my driver picked up my food and was dropping it off at my house soon. And I didn't get a single fucking notification that he was trying to call me or nothing like, nothing like that. And then he just dropped the food off, took a picture,
sent it to me, and dipped. I couldn't get a hold of him after this point because he like finished the order. He dropped it off at the wrong fucking house. Sixty dollars of wingstop at the wrong fucking house.
So much somebody literally wont to lime.
Up for real, because it was a good ass order. It was my order. It was three tenders of lemon pepper, two mild a cheese sauce, a ranch, a coke big size, and limon pepper fries. With extra seasoning and well done cooked. Bro they came up for real.
He didn't go find it.
No, we scoured the neighborhood. I literally went up to every single I was. I was writhing in anger because I was at this point I was, I was so pissed. I was like literally withdrawing from Wingstop. But Wingstop is canceled you, I'm never ordering it again. Fucked that place. But I went to every single door in the neighborhood looking for it. We looked like robbers and thieves. I even went to the house like up the street that
like shares similar numbers to us. Wasn't there. We like were on Google Maps, like looking seeing like at like to see the front door of houses, because he sent me a fucking picture of where it was. He was like teasing us, and so I called him. He didn't answer.
I called him again. He didn't fucking answer, and so then I called door Dash and they like put me on hold for like twenty five minutes and then got back to me and they were like, well, you ordered it through the Wingstop app, so you have to call wing Stop. So I called Wingstop, but they don't have a fucking help number. So I just called the Wingstop that I ordered from, and they were like, oh, yeah, we can figure that out for you easily. And then
they were like, what's your name? Gave them my name. Then they put me on hold with like the most bunk fucking weight music ever, and then they asked me my name again.
We need to update weight hold music because it's the worst.
It's so be like, this is the saddest image I've ever seen in my life.
That's also one of those like apartment complexes that dropped from the sky.
Yeah, yeah, like that are made out of cardboard and plastic. Saddest moment in my life when I saw that photo they called it. They took me off hold again, asked me my name again, and then when I was giving them my name, I was like, I can also give you the order number because like I feel like it would be easier to look up by the order number. Because they were saying because I had already put a second order in to replace the wing Stop, so I didn't want them to like cancel. Yeah.
No, I was like down, Like you wouldn't just take that as you're signed to, like I don't know order from?
Like no, I was I was in a I was in a mood, but I needed that wing.
Stop to So at this point, it's like midnight, Yeah.
It's midnight, one hundred dollars one hundred and twenty dollars in on Wingstop. Well, he finally comes back to me and I'm laying in bed at this point, like waiting on the food, and he's like, hello, Drew, and I'm like, yeah, what's up. He fucking hangs up on me after being on hold for thirty minutes. Wings Stop, You're fucking over. Because they also don't have like like a way for
me to get refunds back online. So I had the email, this fucking email, and I blew that shit up by I sent them like literally forty five emails like being like they fucking hung up on me, like they delivered my food to the wrong place, Like I want my fucking money back. Like I was like writhing in anger and they still had email me back. What Wingstop?
Yeah, but Spirits you got it again.
I got it the same night, and then I got it the next day. I'm not kidding y'all. Like it's it's the only thing that's keeping me alive, and if anything, the only thing.
Yeah, you need to get rid of that.
No, no, no one needs none. My organs are hellas strong, like they're actually really good.
Did imagine like being on your deathbed because your liver is failing and they bring in Drew Philip, my covered line, your fucking cooked.
My talkie's and Wingstop ranch inflated livery coke. Yeah, no, it's fucking cooked bro for them. But the only way Wingstop can make this right, and I'm being genuine here, is if they give me the Wingstop Black card so I can have ringed for the rest of my life.
For you. Literally, no one listening.
Just wait, just wait, when we all lock arms and we take a stand, all how many of our listeners? We have three hundred thousand and a half a million of.
Us that are this video gets like two hundred.
Wait, Wingstop will have to be forced to give me your black card.
It's their hands. Yeah, so you think the way to make this company like you is to shame them into.
Likes exactly exactly because they obviously did not give a fuck about me when they didn't give me my money back. Because sixty dollars that's life changing money to a lot of people, especially me, because I would use that to buy two more orders of wing stuff. They're getting the money either way. Just give me my fucking money back, bro, like for real, like it's pizzing me off, Like give me my fucking mon honestly.
Respect, respect, and I think you should stand for what you believe in. And I'm glad that's where you put your foot down. It's for your wingstop. Well, I have exciting news. I'm waiting on this video to be sent to me. But when I was in New York, I was at a restaurant and we were eating on the sidewalk.
No you weren't, No, we were.
We couldn't find a table and we were just we put our food on the sidewalk like it was fucking up. And it was after it rained.
So all the all the oil and the human feet use.
If you wear sandals in New York, you were going to jail.
But yeah, your toes are literally going to fall off from like fucking you have put on this. Yeah, they're the ones spreading the fucking ringworm around.
And the scabies. They're coming here and giving us scabies. But we had the option to sit indoors. BA. I was like, you know what, I never sit outside at restaurants in New York. I'm gonna have that vibe. So we're sitting on the sidewalk and like eating our dinner, like me and a few friends, and this guy comes by and he's like, oh, I love the podcast. I was like, oh, thank you so much, and he dips.
I go to the bathroom. When I come back, the same guy comes back to me and he's like, hey, by the way, you prank called me with your friends once. It's somebody who works at like the so Prada and me, me, you and all those big brands. When you call them, you were not calling the store. They direct you to a call center. And a guy who answered the phone to Josie asking the fucking.
Shit in a video we have all on my phone.
Yeah, he saw me in public and was like, yeah, so basically they are not allowed to hang up on you. That's why they stay on the phone with you so long. It's because a lot of those call centers are not allowed to hang up on you. And he was telling me that it was like it was right like he had just started working there too, so it was.
Just asking him to eat and like, oh, oh my god, he's.
The one who was like you want to consume them? Like he was the one who said that, and like, I wish my friend my friend recorded I think it might have been Prada. My friend recorded it, so I'm waiting on him to send me the video. But he was like, yeah, that was me. And I like they log all those calls, by the way, which is crazy because in my head I immediately was like, broh, do you know.
Their policy on eating the shoes?
Do you mean consuming the speakers?
Yes, we'll find it. Yeah, we'll find it because we have way too many videos. But he was like I felt so embarrassed, like I you're shame, and I was like I am so sorry, and then he was like no, no, no. It was like really funny because they log all those calls and you have to kind of report them back and be like hey, like just so you know if you're looking to the calls. I got this call and they aren't allowed to hang up on you and they have to just stay on the phone until you hang up.
And it was one of the calls that he said like Josie or one of us started laughing, so we hung up, so it wasn't like a long call, but he could we like start laughing after him, He was like, you want me to consume? You want to consume the shoes?
Did him know it was us or did he find out after the podcast?
He I don't think he knew it was us when we called, but I think he saw the episode where we were talking about it and he was like, no, it was really funny. And I got so embarrassed. I was like, I am literally so sorry. Like we talk about the Mora dilemma of like prank calling all the time, like I always feel bad like whatever, like to like back up and be like I'm so sorry. But he thought it was funny, and I was like, I'm so
glad he thought it was funny. He was like, yeah, no, it's really funny because we usually just get mundane, like regular calls because it's like.
Okay, stories kind of tea like it like takes them out of their workday a little bit and like makes them.
We're like, yeah, no, we're good. That is that video. But yeah, my friend reported the interaction and shout out to him. I don't I don't remember getting his name, but shout out to you. You're fucking awesome, You're champ. But it was cracking me up because I was like, Okay, maybe I need to chill because those are literally brands I love and like to work with, and me just be.
Like, okay, we eat the shoes, like, but bankfully you're clean of that that.
I've never called me me you if you're listening, I have never called to eat your shoes. I have your shoes. Would No, I'm saying, like I purchased the shoes, and when you guys give me the shoes, I'm so thankful that I eat them.
Yeah, and they taste like hell, like if any brand has good tasting shoes. Shoes are so young Memu shoes go, especially with the little Wingstop ranch. Thank you a little Wingstop Ranch, Like I'm telling you.
Right now, Like, but yeah, that was my awesome.
That is like one of the greatest things I've ever fucking heard. I never thought that.
Would never get back to us.
I was.
I was so shocked, especially because it was the same guy who came back early, and I was like in my head when he first passed, I did obviously think anything of it, and then when he came back, I was like, oh, I wonder if like he wants a picture or something. Because he was with a girl, and I was like, oh, I wonder if they want a picture or something. But then he was like, I just thought I needed to tell you, and I was gonna tell you earlier, but I was like, too embarrassed to
tell you. But yeah, you guys called me and you asked, So thank you for letting us know. We won't be calling luxury department stores anymore because I feel bad that they can't hang up. And then it had me thinking. I was like, I wonder if the car salesman can hang up. But I still stand by car salesman being very predatory, and that's because I also grew up watching Matilda. So car salesman have a bad.
It's honey, Like I want miss Honey.
I want Missy, I want fuck what's her name from Alien?
Like the movie Alien? Yeah, what is her name? Bruh?
I was just saying her name the other day, says watching it whatever.
Ripley, Oh my god, she's so mother. But well, bouncing off of.
That, oh wait, but I do have to clarify not in a lesbian yeah, yeah, not in a gay way. I've come to tell mine is.
In a very straight way because I'm a straight man.
Yeah, mine is in like a girl crush, like ERG want to be you. You're so kind because I've taken some time to myself and I've decided that being bisexual isn't real and I'm straight.
Period, So I mean we've we've been known that, like I would not let a person like that in my life. But bouncing off of eating shoes mew meal call person. I didn't tell you this because I did not want you to be jealous at all. And I didn't even end up going because like it was just like it was. I had other like obligations, but bruh, I like was supposed to be at the White Party. I was supposed to be there. I got invited.
I'm not jealous.
Yeah, like the Illuminati invited me, and I was supposed to be there like hanging out with like Drew Ski and Drake and shit. But like I decided ultimately like that wasn't my vibe. I was like, yeah, I was like more on like a like like a chill vibe, like go ride the water slide vibe.
Yeah. I mean you were back in La though, so I don't understand how you would have made it.
They were gonna call me a helicopter across America was gonna I was gonna chopper across How long would that take? Like literally eighty years? Like literally I'd be four hundred and eight years old by the end of that if it didn't fucking crash brun. Yeah, I was gonna go. But it's not my vibe. It really isn't my vibe. Like, I don't fuck with that shit for real?
Did you see that? Kendrick dropped his Not Like Us video during it and was wearing all white in the video.
So crazy, so good. He's like he's got the mind of a mastermind for real.
That is like, if there's anything to be learned, it's just like.
Balls in your mouth, challengeinge, like butt sex and stuff.
Like My take on my whole situation is from the very beginning. If you have a dish track that's made about you and it's playing at fucking parties, you go home, don't go out, you you just stay stay Why especially when you already know you're gonna lose, especially when you're a billionaire like bab I know you had no reason to do all that.
Just chill like you can in twenty years when this blows over, like.
You can you can show your face again.
Yeah, like just chill out. You're good, You're good.
Oh my god.
But yeah, I can't believe Kendrick didn't like hit me up or hit me up to like give him some insight about like our situation with like Kanye and Drake backstage, like them doing s with me or whatever.
It's because that's a lie.
So yeah, I know it's not.
It's it's a very real I mean you were quick to say, yeah victim.
Blaming, Okay, cool, Right, I want to eat a fucking minion, so goddamn bad, I swear to God like I want to eat them.
I just like I think. I I wish I enjoyed the Speakable Me franchise the way other people do, but I truely stop. Also, I need to stop watching Inside Out too. I've realized it's like my Coco melon version of therapy right now, and I need to stop watching it. I watched it basically three times, and I would watch it again because if you want to go see it in the theaters.
I would watch. I need to see it because we started watching it with Alex and we watched the first fifteen minutes. I've watched the first fifteen minutes a few times now because the sexy dad, uh like hello, picks up another dad at the hockey game and you just have to watch that a few times, like just like see what it's like to be a man, you know, like a real man. Oh yeah yeah, camaraderie, Yeah exactly, really man tapping each other on the butts like when
you're walking by, like congratulating them. I looked up. No, I looked that up. I was like, where the fuck did that come from? Because that is so homo erotic and weird. Because I watched Lebron James walk past Cooper Flag and like him on his butt, which is also suspect because Cooper Flag is seventeen years old. Shout out Cooper Flag, though, like you're doing big things, like for real, like I've been seeing you on the USA Select team like I've been bullish. Okay, this is my claim to fame.
I've been bullish on Cooper Flag since twenty twenty two. I'm not even fucking playing like like bullish, like a bull market, like going up like I've been. I've been calling his rise not demiseed since twenty twenty two. I fucked probably earlier than that, because that's like the earliest I texted about him. But he is the truth, I'm telling y'all, like he really is the truth. He's the goat, like he's gonna like he's gonna do big things in
the league. I think he's not gonna have like the most amazing, like mind blowing season at Duke this year, but I will be tuning into every fucking Duke game I did last year because of Jared McCain. That is my man, Like I don't give a fuck what anybody says, Like I will ride and die for Jarre McCain. He's the dude that paints his nails because he's like truly authentically himself and not enough people are themselves in the league.
And that's the tea. And he had his firs Summer League game a couple day yars Ago watched that he tore he ate down. He's mother goose.
But I didn't reply to my therapist.
Oh shit, she's gonna got you, bro, No, she loves me. What were we talking about Minonzo? Oh inside out? I would love to go see it. And when Enya was saying all that shit about it being like like one of the best movies ever made. I was like, yeah, right. I watched the first like thirty minutes of like a recording of the screen on an iPhone with really shitty audio, and I was like like gooped and gagged, Like I was like, oh, this is like this is a good movie. Like this is I genuinely.
Believe it's made for adults. I do not think it's made for kids. I don't think any funky ass kid is going into the movie theaters and understanding by any means what the fuck is happening. But it's so good. Also, they casted Aya and Uma so perfectly like for the like the characters they voice acted, like the whole thing is just so good.
Yeah, Like you weren't joking. So we had to turn it off because I was like, I want to see this in theater for real, for real, because it's like it's just a good movie, Like it really is such a feel good movie. Also, I found out that it already made a billion dollars, which is fucking crazy.
Like I haven't seen a percentage of that.
Why would you ever deserve a percentage of incause it's based on me? Yeah, because you're fucking crazy.
I'm so fucking crazy.
I'm so fucking crazy. Everything I do with so fucking crazy.
The other day that like our thing used to be like your mama, your mama, and now our thing is I'm so crazy. I'm so fucking crazy.
I forgot. I totally forgot about this. On the way home from Rain's house morning after fourth of July, I got into an uber ride home. I was her first ride ever, and she almost fucking killed me. I'm not kidding. She almost killed me, and I have a video of it, like three cars almost just she stopped in the like you know when you like turn off and or you can go straight and there's that little triangle there like
on the freeway. She stopped there because she didn't know which way to go, like her GPS like she couldn't read it. And I was like, no, you go straight. I've been on this road a million times. Go straight. And she was like turn off and I was like, no, go straight. She's like okay, I'll turn off like LA is that way and I was like no, I'm not going to downtown LA. I'm going straight, Like please go straight, And then she freaked out and just stood like still
in the middle of the road. Granted, I was telling her the way that the GPS was telling her to go. I don't know why she wanted to go to La downtown. La is so bad, But do you want to take you to Santia li In No, for real, bruh, let me find this freaking.
We need to go to Santia Ali. We haven't been in a minute.
So we're stopped. She starts pulling out like literally about the fucking tie. Bruh. We were literally about to die, and like she like it was, yeah, it was fucking scary, but I was literally and I asked her. I was like, oh, is this like one of your first rides? Because the app told me it was her first ride. And I was like, you're doing a good job. Like I was gonna tell her she was doing a good job, and she was like, no, this is not I've been doing
this for years. And I was like, it really doesn't seem like it. Because she was also asking me how to drive, Like she was like, do I turn my bline girl now? And I was like yes, Like you're turning a blinker on now, bro, Like what are we doing?
Like dude, she was probably sixteen.
She was like forty in her late fifties, like she was old as fuck, but she was such a sweetheart. Shout out her, like saved my life but also put my life into my arm.
Hurts. I need to go to the hospital, I think.
Okay, Charlie's sending us a cease and desist, bro. Bro. Charlie's like she hates us, Bro. She like really doesn't fuck with us, Like Andya tipped her tiara a little bit, and like.
Don't say all that. I don't believe that.
Enya's was telling me. She was telling me all about it. She was like, yeah, the Charlie version just isn't as good as mine.
Like, no, I don't understand why people like the version I did so much, Like it's so stupid, and it like embarrasses me. It's embarrassing. Everything is everything?
Wait, everything literally is your mama, your mama, your mama, Your mama is embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed.
Your mama is embarrassed.
Well, Charlie, you hear this. I would love to get on a remix. Please please, please please please. You don't have to pay me.
I just show me to me. Rachel.
Okay, Well, I'm gonna get into media before.
We do that? Can I do stand up? But I have to get in the harness for you, don't. I have to get in the fucking harness, bro please, fine, we paid for it, might as well thank you.
It's like not even ready, there's no cue.
Like okay, we've all seen the Hawk tour girl, right, she's so crazy. Uh she needs to get like a bird in hawk and fly to uh to uh la and pursue a social media career like bad baby.
That was like the most mouthful of like nonsense jargon I've ever heard.
I'm tired of people asking me if I'm an introvert or extrovert. Bitch, I'm a pervert. All I can think about is that poop river in pairs. Everybody's going upstream to drop logs in the river. As the president swims across. All I'm thinking is I want to swim in that river that day. NYC is so crazy. It's like a concrete everywhere. Alicia Keys wasn't lying.
It's like a concrete everywhere.
Okay, wait, let me why are people beating their meat? You should be caressing it centrally instead of hitting it the water dripping. Oh wait, this is a good one. Wait, I wrote this one without even thinking about that. People are always telling me to hang in there. Actually, this one's really dark.
What is it? I thought it was gonna be a joke because you're like floating.
Why did people want to see me hanging myself? Oh yeah, there'st traps more like dehydration free what you are not drinking? Eating left water troplet.
I've said this for like four years in a row now, but sometimes when you talk you feel like an uncle of mine. Who got him?
I know it's really early. Okay, this is the last one. When I see someone having fun without me, I want to kill them.
Wha is that?
Like?
Is that a joke?
Yeah? It's like stand up broll you know, it's it's float in the air brou Are you all all right? No, you're all all left?
Okay, I think that's take that fucking spot life off of it.
He's freeing.
Yeah nope, A right, Roy Roy Well, I was lit.
No, that was a good one.
No it wasn't. That was Your stand up is getting progressively like scarier and scarier, and I feel like you're doing this thing where you go to write down a joke and you're trying to like hurry up and finish typing it before you forget it, and you forget like eighteen words in between each sentence on.
The couch last night, and yeah, I like it, really like it ruined my mood, like trying to write those jokes because I was writing them like last night at like midnight and we were trying to watch Love Island or whatever that shows. Yeah, I couldn't get into it.
I couldn't get into it. I'm gonna try again tonight, but I just couldn't get into it.
Yeah, but like we're thinking, like by episode three, like the tea will be spilled, but we'll see.
I watched Inside Out Too again. I watch A Man on the Moon, which was really good, and I watched Love Lies Bleeding, which was really fucking good. I'm just like confused.
That's a oh uh girl, so confusing. Oh my god, confused. And then my.
Media for listening is Whisper by Martin rev Nice Mover by Gina X, Performance This Eve of Parting by John Hartford. And I did not know that Arctic Monkey's song I Want to Be Yours is a cover it literally, or at least I think it is, by John Cooper Clark. I've been listening.
To my media is Advanced Falconry, Mutual Benefit. It's over or orbitson in my room. The Langley School Music Project, y'all, that's the fucking sauce Langley School Music Project, best children's choir covers of all time, putting y'all on total darkness RP boo and then wait to have a story these words in Natasha Beddingfield. Did I tell you there was
a at that Mark show. There was this beautiful woman just like kind of running around, like sitting down, and she pulled me aside and she was like, hey, can we get a picture together? Like our outfits really match like well. And I was like, yeah, of course, Like let's do it, but I have to do this interview first, And then like we were walking over to the interview and then she like grabbed me again and she was like, let's do it, and I was like, yeah, we can do it now, let's just do it now. So we
started taking pictures with her. I didn't know until after that it was fucking Natasha betting Field. I got like a bird and all that a way.
Girl, She like I wanted to take a picture with you know, what's crazy is I used to call the radio station.
To play that song, and like radio is dead too, Like that's the real ty of it all.
Do people still call into radio stations to play songs or do they just play TikTok?
They probably just played things.
I think they just played TikTok.
No, we got to get We should have a call center where yeah we'll get that. Yeah, we need to do that soon because I feel like maybe maybe not like an advice call them, because advice from us like would literally just be like cheat on your boyfriend.
Like I know at one of the did somebody asked me advice and I gave the worst advice ever.
So but no, it's like to the youngins like they need to hear shit like that. Yeah, like it's okay to.
Cheat, It's okay to be crazy and free.
Just kidding, just kidding, I'm just joking. I'm just joking and joking man like bone no, no, no, we need to talk about my boner real quick.
Okay, no, And thank you guys so much for listening for three years.
Thank you guys for real.
Kind of insane. Hopefully we make it to another year. Who who freaking knows?
I mean, my leg actually might fall.
Off, so I can only pray for so much.
Wow wait, actually, what if I do have a pulmonary invalence on I have a blah.
Oh my god? Sure as I you.
Say, yeah, okay, true to what did You're okay, sop, This isn't funny.
Please, like, I just want to go to bed.
If it's in the former, don't turn around. Take this the bum