Wow, welcome to this episode of Emergency. I said it.
Welcome to this episode of Emergina. I got at it.
And when you said it, it sounded like gibberish. And if I was, for instance, running and listening to the podcast, I would be so confused and disoriented. Wow, you sounded like that.
Okay, like you're being like so oppy right now, guys, I have forty ops, it's gotten up to forty. Okay, I'll like name like the prominent ones that you might know, Enya, Orian Kai, all three ops. Luna is my biggest fucking op right now.
Mind you, if you are unaware that is an infant who is not.
Even one years old, she's opting so fucked hard right now, Like she won't smile at me anymore.
Okay. I almost was just like, oh my god, Lunda's gonna turn one soon. She doesn't turn one until like February.
Yeah, so it's far. Also, we had like six or seven shots of tequila.
Oh my god, well my head is already hurting. I'm gonna wake up at five pm, so fucked up.
So if I get naked on the podcast when I drink tequila, I get naked. Let's just say that I'll get really naked for you, guys.
It's actually insane. I haven't seen you touch alcohol in so long. Like I mean, I saw you have a drink, but I think I don't even think you finished it. You faked it out. You just like didn't want to be left out. I don't r birthday party.
I don't fuck with that shit anymore. No. I had like half of a shot at a Ryan's birthday party because I was like, I'm gonna be crazy, and it gave me a headache immediately.
Because it's poison.
It is literally poisoning your body. It is the devil. The world is ending on September twenty third, twenty twenty three, and Week.
Like believes this, by the way, anytime I've spoken to him about something. Oh, actually, this is a goodly way of you and how you navigate emotional interactions, which you've gotten better with over time. You are a good person to talk to about like a like emotionally tumultuous event. Also me saying that word I heard someone the other day say at a cafe to a friend and the friend goes, Okay, what the fuck does that mean? And they didn't know what tumultuous meant and the freend was like, oh,
it's like oh wow. Like she was like, she was like, it's I mean, you can't use context with this, and then they just like went back and forth over and she was like it just was like, you know, like really hard, like you're busy, but like something's like really weighing down on you. But like like she just started describing and I was like, that's not not the best definition to get it read. But yeah, it's like literally just like hard times, but hard times gonna make your
loving money even crad hard times. Whoa we hit that second.
We hit that last together.
I've been getting good at harmonizing because in the mid Night McDonald's there's that spark when is that part in the video.
Where you are wrong?
What's wrong with and but Drew?
While I was talking to him about something that's going on in my life, he goes, it's okay, because the world's gonna end on the twenty third, so you should just do whatever. And he has said that to me four times this past week.
So that to me, what happens on the twenty third, okay, it's essentially the rapture. It's like everyone at midnight on at McDonald's twenty second is gonna hear a loud clap, a loud boom. It's gonna echo and reverberate throughout the years and then happen. This is weird. Yeah, it's Jesus Christ working. It's his stinky.
Christ is gonna come down to Earth, oil up his ass and clap.
Okay, we need more oiled up toward compilations. On my timeline, I've been saying that, like we need oiled up to work in compilations like bad, Like I've been like fiending for it. But yeah, Jesus is gonna come down and rapture all of us, and yeah, the world is gonna end.
What does rapture even mean? Like that's like he's gonna take us back.
Yeah, the praying souls. But you're okay, if you're not a religious person or you don't practice religion, you're good. Like, don't forget, Jesus loves every single one of you.
Drew is actually scared.
Let me scare no, okay, like, let me let me correct this. I see it on my feed and I'm like, okay, Like you're being absolutely insane. And then they'll like run through all of the predictive programming of September twenty third, through all of the fucking shows like in movies and all the shit that we've been seeing, and fucking meteors hitting the Earth, world ending war starting, like all that shit and all the movies we watch happens on September
twenty third, twenty twenty three. Well, when I see that, I'm like, huh, that's actually really curious and a weird coincidence. But then I remember that none of that's real and we're all gonna be okay. But then the other night, I was sitting in my bed and I had just like a lot of anxiety and I was doom scrolling and I was scrolling and one of them came up on my feet and it was like really really eerie, and I was like, oh wait, what if this shit
is real? And I just started like thinking about it in my head, like processing like what life would be like if that shit did actually happen, but like it's not going to but it did freak me out for a sex.
True, what are you talking about? Like literally like one of them came up on my feet. What we don't know what you're talking about?
Oil that compilation.
Oh so all these messages have been hidden ink compilation.
Yes, oh okay, wow, Yeah, this is like when Because Blade Runners set in twenty nineteen, this would be the equivalent of people being like twenty nineteen, like was something.
Big is going to happen? But I guess like Blade Runner was at the end of the world. They just for some reason thought in thirty years the world would look like Blade Runner.
Yeah, I mean, and I bet it will.
I guess like wait, oh yeah, what's the number?
Is it twenty fourteen, twenty three?
Well, there's twenty forty nine. There's Blade Runner twenty forty nine.
Oh okay, okay, But the.
Original Blade Runner was set in twenty nineteen.
I believe that, but I think it was made in like the eighties.
Oh so it kind of like.
You can fix that. I can fix that?
Is that like from Blade Runner?
Touch me?
Yeah, it was made in nineteen eighty two, So they thought that in twenty nineteen the world would look like that. But what we've had was iPhones and Charlie Demillio. They're gonna got close.
There's gonna love Charlie Prophet for like three years after who like leads the civilization out of this slump, but it's actually the Antichrist. So like watch out for the Elon Musks and the mark Zucker Breaks of the world, like.
They're gonna lead us out of what the rapture.
The hard times it's gonna be like World War three? Wa.
So wait, the Rapture's hard times or it's good times.
It's gonna be okay because we're taking up.
Isn't the Rapture's good if you've been good and you get to go to heaven.
Right When I imagine the rapture, you know what I imagine like you know, outside of football games, when people who didn't get tickets to stand outside with their pickup trucks like cooking and like what is that called tailgate? I imagine the rapture looks like a tailgate? Does that make sense? Like that's kind of like what the vibe is for me, Like everybody stands outside and starts like a cookout or like a barbecue, and they're like God's coming,
Like God's coming. That's kind of the vibe. Right, I would get fucked up for like the arrival of Jesus, Like I wouldn't want to be sober. That would that would be really traumatizing because also me and O Ryan have talked about that, And what does that look like? Is like when Jesus comes back, is he like cloned a million times over? So he shows up at everyone's doors like a Jehovah witness or does he just like
fall from the sky. But he would have to be so big for everyone around the earth to see him, like people on the other side of the earth, like what some people are seeing the back of his head, some people are seeing his bulge like like like like have you ever thought about that? Like how does he come in the sky?
Like it's an omnipresent simulation that we all see separately. It's not going to be physical beings. Oh I just made that up.
I was gonna say, because then I would just feel like I was literally hallucinating. I'd be like, Oh, here comes like having a break, It's finally happening. But have you all thought about that? Like what is he like?
Yeah?
Have I always imagined it for whatever reason, like in the middle of America.
Yeah, every alien invasion ever in the middle of it.
I'm like, Jesus will arrive in Iowa.
Yeah, It's literally like the Book of Mormon when they're like, like every great religious thing has ever that's ever happened was in America, right, we saw it here, Like where else would it be? That is kind of crazy. Literally every alien attack happens in America, Like we can't even fathom it happening somewhere else. We're like, they would have no idea how to handle that. We on the other hand, we got it covered. It's gonna drop down in Seattle,
like it has to be here. It's also only major cities as if the aliens would be like, Okay, we need to go to Miami, like we need to go in Miami.
We need to see oil. The booty is twirking in Miami. Yeah, that's what we Okay, you know how they sent that gold disc to outer space. We need to re send it back out that Like if alien finds it's like transmuting like radio signals, like playing music whatever. If they find it, they can scan it and see like a video of like it's basically like a QR code in space. They see like a video Earth. We need to put oil up twerking booty compilations.
We need to put that, but we also need to charge only our greatest freaks on it, though, we need to put like York and like, but like, do you see what I'm saying, Like we get we should put like artists on it that make like the weirdest shit ever, so that if there's a chance if aliens are real, they're like damn, they are mad weird. We're not going there, Like we're not going.
They probably already look at us and think that that's why they're not here. Oh those little fucking critters that Mexico revealed as aliens, those were actually cakes. They cut into them and they were actually they were one. Yeah, yeah, they were actually cake, which we found out, which is very weird. No, for like half a second, I was like I want to believe, so I'm going to believe even though I didn't believe. But like, girl, like that is not real. Those aren't real? Like those aren't wait
play the music with it. Oh yeah, I've been taping my mouth to go to sleep at night.
Yeah, the little aliens aren't real. Also like them like putting them in the box with some dirt at the bottom. It's literally like kids getting caught in the line and being like oh, like dude, if you put the dirt, Like okay, okay, think about this. They need the dirt. So like if anybody asks, like if they were in there without the dirt that we found them in, it'd be like, oh my god, Like why why are they
like so clean cut and fresh? Like they need the dirt, Like why did they put the dirt under the alien in the box? And whose ideal was that? Who was like oh, and then we're going to a little bit of the dirt under them, so it looks like we just found them like in the dirt.
Also, the dude who's spearheaded like the whole reveal, also, like the President of Mexico literally believes in gnomes and has posted on his Facebook page pictures.
It's literally like it's like a Mexican superstition, but he goes hard.
Yeah he believe it. So I'm like, in the dude that spearheaded the Whole Reveal, it is like a notorious like UFO grifter, So like none of that shit is real and it's funny, but like their story was straight, like they got it down pat like the dietamacious algae like covering them and like solidifying over a thousand years ago. But like yeah, fucking right, yeah, fucking right.
I think they ran it through an MRI or something.
And metal plates.
Yeah, there's metal plates and bones, but it's all just bones from other animals.
Yeah, the Lama school. Yeah yeah. I saw also that like the metal plate, it's like a metal that like we use, which is this was This is when I didn't believe because I was like, this is too on the nose and this is like two sci fi. But it's like there's like a metal plate in its chest and it's like this alloy that like we use in our satellites. And they're like inferring that these aliens have
satellites and that's how they communicate in their chest. But I want to see the butthole, like I want to see I'm not kidding.
I just thinking. I was like, why don't any aliens have tits?
Well, we need to, like we need to give them tits.
Like I want to see an alien with some big fucking.
Booth oiled up booty.
Yeah, and they and they live in space, so like you know, those tits are sitting perky, so we need to see. Yeah, we need I need a video of an alien running in space. We can get that. I just don't believe in aliens anyway. So I'm like, y'all are literally insane, Like that's why it was when there's like nothing happening is there, Like when should we talk about aliens?
Oh?
But I wasn't saying.
I was saying to Drew that it's becoming like a power play, like I think every country is going to start Yeah, it's literally like the every country is going to start using like their findings of aliens as like a power play, like, oh, you think you have aliens? We've had aliens forever, but we just didn't want to show y'all because y'all were going to get scared. Yeah, and like I think every country is going to start being like, actually we found something too, Like I did.
I did too, Like I have that too. Like it's literally kids at school when they show off like good stationary, it's like, well I have that too, like.
That to the market. Like that's why their review was so shitty was because they refers to the market. But yeah, it's the space race two point zero. People are trying to like get on on it early like profit. But also there was an airplane that disappeared another one. It
was a fighter jet. Is it on camera? No? But oh yeah, we never showed any of the video of the Malaysia flight disappearing, like they have satellite footage that leaked of it, and it actually like like yeah, yeah, I like take everything with a grain of salt because like technology has gotten really crazy. But I had seen that video floating around like a few years ago, two years ago or something, and I just wrote it off.
But then like the more I looked at it, I was like, this like looks real and this would be really hard to create. But like I don't believe any alien revealed videos, like none of them. They're all bullshit. They're all fake because I could literally do it on Blinder in my bedroom, Like I literally could figure it out, like y'all are all lying and Corridor Digital did one.
But anyways, a fighter jet disappeared and the United States was like begging the population to go find this jet for them, Like no, like don't you have like GPS is inside of that shit or something like why okay, sorry, sorry, I'm like.
You need to show me that video because you can't bring up something about a plane that like I need to see it, like I need to see it. Also, this thumbnail is cracking me up because like why am I Like I wish this is what it was, that would be like it was just like underwater, just like fully in peak.
What would I look up for that guy?
Shit like this like is crazy though, because like this YouTube video using this thumbnail is so gnarly because it I mean, this is like any video that has to do with people who literally lost their lives. Shit like that cracks me up because I'm like, why would you even edit this photo and have humans standing around the wheel like insinuating that like there, it's just like fully in like tact somewhere.
Like so apparently it's like satellite footage, which we do have sat like in the fucking sixties. This is what freaks me out, as like the technology we had in the sixties, like we could take pictures from outer space of like a coffee cup in France like essentially like and that was like years and years and years ago. Like they have crazier shit like and that's tea. It's like this would be hard to fake, you think, so yeah,
like see that's where it gets funky. But then I'm like, oh, but they're supposed to be aliens and moving at like warp speed. And then this is the part that gets me every time, where I'm like crosses my suspension of disbelief. I don't think it happened yet. Oh yeah, that.
Bitch. If one of my family members was on that damn plane and people were still talking about it like this, I'd be like, let it go. Y'all made the Netflix show, you do the videos, you do the YouTube like leave my family alone. That is so insane. Yeah, I don't
know that. I believe that. But also, like I understand it's kind of like with religion, but not to bring it back to religion, but like things like that is I think humans have a hard time like grieving and understand catastrophe, So it's easier to theorize all the different ways it could have gone down because it makes it easier, especially when it's inexplainable. When you don't have a conclusion, your mind can only go so far. And that's why all sciences and that's why science isn't real.
I've thought about I feel like, since there isn't, I don't actually believe nearly as much religion now obviously as there has been throughout all of human history. Whenever I see a video like that, there's some mechanism in my brain that's like oh yeah, yeah, no, the plane disappeared in.
A wormhole for yeah exactly.
And it's just I feel like it's that part of my brain that like desperately wants to.
Put the blame somewhere to I want exactly.
I want to believe in like a higher power or something.
Why is that, like like part of the human experience is like needing like a higher power. Obviously it's because like life is fucking suffering and like every every aspect of life is hell and pain. But like that's obviously why we have beauty, like not whatever, Like that's why there is love, But like why do we need to put the blame somewhere? Is it like fucking primal brain syndrome or something.
I think it's like beyond that. It's like we genuinely as animals shouldn't have the capacity to think that deeply. Yeah, And it's it's like a like a protection like instinct. It's like an instinct. It's literally just like oh, oh my god, that is so scary. But God's here, HOI God?
Literally like build that wall, like build the wall.
Wait, what what does that have to do.
With like the barrier in your brain.
Oh no, that's that has a different connotation.
I wouldn't say that.
That is insane.
He literally like freaking freaking lib tards.
He literally took the he took the term building a wall and made it back.
Like like, well, it's just like the LGBT taking the rainbow and making it bad.
I'm emotionally like cut off right now. So I just like had to build the wall. I just had to build the wall back up.
I build autistic. They're all autistic for like becoming so hyper obsessed with that's their special interest is building that damn wall. Like, let's talk about that so stupid? Should we talk about the alphabet mafia gay people?
Yeah, okay, why do you call them that?
Because they're all comprised of killers?
Okay, first I took the rainbow, Then they took the letters LGBT and Q, Like what next.
If I wanted to abbreviate those myself? Like what if I wanted that abbreviation?
Also, the new religion for our generation is literally just the bitches who believe in like astrology so badly. It's literally like that's the new religion. That's why so many of us aren't religious.
And it's because sacred geometry and.
No, that's always been a yeah, but it has like.
Completely become extremely prevalent, like.
It's completely replaced.
Like our parents family members who are religious, Like I have religious family members who will go on Facebook live and watch like a pastor do like a sermon and like talk about religion. But on TikTok there's literally like
people who are constantly doing terrort card readings. They're constantly like going through like the astrologies like things for the week and all that stuff, and it's literally the same thing, like they're tuning in like hoping that you hear a message that relays to you so you can find comfort in a situation you're going through. And that's what people who like sit through sermons are doing. They're waiting for like the pastor to say something like everything's gonna be okay.
That thing that you're going through, that like that money that you need to pay, that bill, that like friend that you're hoping to hear from, that person who's sick in your life will be okay. Like you're literally just listening out for those things that you need to hear for comfort and you sitz, okay, yeah, which is like necessary. It's literally a necessity for like everybody. But that's what astrology is. Is like you sit in because you're like
your crush will text you back. Your post mace will get there in ten minutes.
Me trying to think of like hard things you go through your post.
See problems like your post mace will not will.
Not be like will fry your brain like I swear, just get it time.
Your wax pen will get hot enough that some of the the residue will melt down and you will have one last hit of your pen.
Your girl will be bisexual. She will perform kind of lingers on another woman in front of you, like I swear, it's gonna be okay, auto felicia. Y'all ever heard of that?
Yeah, I've heard the term. But isn't it just like you giving yourself head? Or why is there a picture of Taylor Swift buff on your phone?
Well?
I was gonna ask if this is if y'all think this is real?
I actually it's a good I don't know. I can't tell.
Oh, yeah that looks real, right, I can see.
After somebody going on a tour that long time.
Ruh, she got Yeah, she like she cut really hard, like she like got built. It's actually, like honestly really impressive that you can do that on tour while diving into a pool like all that. That's all she's doing.
All she's doing is swimming.
H that's what I heard.
Well, that's crazy because I've been swimming in your mom. You haven't koochy because she gets so wet and I'm not that buff.
Well, oh, I can I say it, but we might have to bleep it. But it's like really horrifying. Yeah, said, but it's about your mom.
Okay, No, I don't even want to say.
It's so dark, it's really I don't care.
I don't care.
Okay, Well, your mom got so wet. I made your mom so wet that she turned into mud.
Like No, that's good, that's good, that's good.
That's dark.
That's really funny. I thought you were gonna say you got her so wet, you rehydrated her, and she's back to.
Life, reanimated. Your mother re animated her? Okay, well, should we move on the tipping?
Tipping?
Yeah, I don't know we had a tipping. We know we had a conversation cow tipping.
Well, yeah, I mean he's from Texas.
Yeah. No. We had a conversation about tipping, and we were like, let's write it down, And I just wrote down that, like when we tip, we make sure like if it's a jar in front, like I'll wait there for five in there in front of y'all.
Where they miss it.
Yeah, yes, and I'll like kind of like I'll like I'm leaching back in there and pulling it out with me and I'm just.
Look extremely generous.
Now.
I literally had that the dispensary, even though the girl who was checking me out was literally so mean to me, Like, but I think I like to be clear, I tip all the time. My mom is a waitress. I'm a big tipper, and especially people who perform sexual acts on me. I tip.
Well, why do women be mean to women? Like literally, like y'all are fighting this same battle?
Oh my god?
Wow? Why revolution failed?
Why do women be mean to women?
Wow? It's like I was channeling. I was channeling nothing came good from being gay or whatever? He said.
Oh wait, but nothing good? Oh wait he says it fucked up.
Wait, you know what we're talking about.
From being gay? Nothing came good?
Like, yeah, he says some ship like that, like he thought he was fucking tearing, but he's just literally he says, hey, people.
Does not produce anything good, anything good like you thought he Hey people does not produce anything good?
Hey people, gay people do produce.
Wait, we need to finish this. Oh wait, this is a quote like I.
Need literally, I need the full thing literally.
Oh like you.
Agree, sure, no with Kay, but yeah, should me and Kai? Okay? And you actually stay quiet real quick because me and Ky need to have a conversation what the fuck? And if you butt in, like I'm actually gonna get really fucking pissed. But has this sexual revolution failed for women? Oh my god?
Yeah, and we're just we're trying to think I'm.
On the side of no.
Yeah, I mean like but like.
I mean, I'm so sorry, but you've spent the whole episode asking for more oiled up torking booties and then exactly that's why it hasn't failed, because until you see that, yeah, once once like my feet is all oiled up turking booties, then it has failed.
But it's like one every three videos, it's like, hello, annoying.
You can't just scroll?
Yeah, it hurts my fucking finger. I've always thought about how much I scroll a day, Like I have to like swipe up, like I'm not kidding a mile a day. Like it's really horrifying.
You know what it was is the iPhones were made for pro fingering girls because you get like such good dexterity out of your fingers and then you become extremely like well rounded in terms of fingering.
Actually a fascinating theory. Yeah, what the hell were we talking about?
And we were talking about gay does not produce anything good? I literally don't know tipping. Oh my god, Actually that just running me In high school once, the first time I ever went to a restaurant alone with my friends.
The waiter was water lying bro.
Okay, I was I'm gonna be I was making that story up and I don't know where it was going. But the first time I ever went to a restaurant alone with my friends, it was TGI Fridays. It was me and three of my friends. We walked in and the waiter immediately was not fucking with us. We weren't being rowdy, we were like practicing like being like little adults. So we were like, can we get a table for four? Please?
Like we were just like being nice. But we sat down and he literally immediately before we even started ordering, goes, I don't even know why I'm serving you guys because I know you're not gonna tip me, and starts like cleaning in front of us. He easily we were like fifteen sixteen. He probably was like twenty six.
Oh my god, And I would say, if he's like eighteen, that's understandable.
No, he was like a grown ass man, like he like had like the facial hair of somebody who like when he has when he's thirty, it's gonna fill in all the way. But he was like twenty five twenty six, like trying out facial hair for the first time, and
we were like what. And then he walks away and comes back with the menu and we're going to order, and he literally is like everything we're doing, he's like, I just can't fucking believe I got left with this table like to us, we literally but we didn't eat there. We just got up and we were like, bitch, fuck you. I hope you fucking die. And then we all just like got up and walked out. But we were like fifteen sixteen, So I can't be held accountable.
For that section.
That's now I would have been like, dude, I swear I'm gonna tip you, just please serve me.
No, that's that's like when I was like thirteen, probably, and it was like I was I was a pretty big kid, and I was going trigger treating and we got to this one house and I was so excited. I was like, ooh, this is like one of my final years of tricker cheating. Like I'm already like pushing it like whatever. I got to this house and they like looked me and my sister and our two friends up and down and they were like, you're a little too big to be doing this, aren't you, and literally
just didn't give us candy, and it scarred. I literally did not fucking trick or treat ever again after that day. It was so scarring. Am I this will have to believe. I'll tell y'all later, But like there's more to this story because like they knew my parents in some capacity, and like my mom and dad went like fucking Mama and Papa bear mode on them, but like literally so easy. But they're both dead now, so oh one god, I did.
Hell did you kill them?
I do because that sounds like it was like a revenge.
Why would you ask me?
What's going to ruin our friendship is when I post revenge pornt of you. I think that's gonna be the final show.
How do you even have that?
You know how I have these? But then my other glasses, Yeah, my other glasses are the ray band Snapchat story glasses, and I've been recording when we have sex.
Don't fucking do that, bro.
I wondered why she had sunglasses on.
I think you thought I liked him and told him that I had just gotten my retina's scanned and I'm sensitive to light.
Your retina is scanned.
I can't say why.
But well, please don't post revenge point of me.
I'm not I'm not going to do it now. It's just next time you pussed me off, think about it. Okay, next time, next time I'm rude to you and you want to confirm me about it, think about what I have on you.
Well, let's think about what I have on you. Remember, for the last thirty seven nights, I've been oiling up your booty and making you twerk and taking videos of it.
I thought those were for you because you just instagram.
The private spank bank. Nope, I've started in only fans for you.
If we live together for the next ten years, it's literally going to get there, and not in a sexual way, but we're going to be so goddamn.
Talking for I like someone asked last week, like what in truce, what's like my most common intrusive thought? And for the last week, this is crazy and it like there is nothing behind this other than I think it would be so fucking funny, and partially because like I do forget sometimes but after I pee, like I'll just like go wash my hands with my wiener like sticking outside of my shorts. I can not pull up my
pants all the way. And I always have the thought to walk out here and like just expose myself to y'all and be like, oh, fucking like, say I forgot it, Like we're almost there.
We're almost Yeah, we're almost there because I've literally done it with my butt cracking like half my fucking bush. Yeah, but you see me naked, and I'll but I'll do it to O'Ryan and Drew, like I'll walk out with my pants literally so low and my fucking KOUCHI is half out and I'm like this is I think the new swag for twenty twenty four, and it's like crazy dude, like like that's not a swag and I'm like, oh, but look at the back and like my whole ass crack is out.
Yeah. And what's fucked up is like when I start jerking off, like when she's doing that, like I'm the bad guy, Like you can't put feet in front of a man and I expect them not to drink off.
Oh features listen to this.
I have one more thing to add on to the Tipping conversation before we completely move on, but it's kind of a little tangent and I just want to hear
your reaction to this. But this mom took like a birthday party full of kids, like I think like it was like seventeen kids or something like that to the sugar factory And okay, so you already know, but basically what happened was the sugar factory is notorious for like their alcoholic drinks, and they were just serving alcoholic drinks to these children and they all got drunk and they were all like passed out, like Hella fucked up, and I just like I'm sorry, Oh.
Okay, that's what you're asking. It's like, would I tip or not? Yeah, I would tip because I'm like, cool, the kids are asleep, I'm throw them in the van and take them home.
Was pissed.
Yeah, imagine like taking your kids.
Also, you're supposed to protect them.
It's like embarrassing because she was the adult supervisor of a bunch of other kids that weren't her kids. So it's literally the worst thing ever. Like, imagine having to call your homegirl and being like, hey, so Jesse's I'm gonna drop Jesse off at home, but you're gonna notice a difference in her attitude. She will be slurring and falling over all over the place, and it is because she got drunk at sugar factory. We got her fucked up a sugar factory. Like, I would be so humiliated
to have to make that call. I would honestly just lie and be like, dude, your daughter's fucking crazy. She took a xanax, Like, you need to get that thing under control. But I would also just sue the fuck out of sugar factory.
I think they might have in the process.
That's about how was the waiter literally looking at that tapele and be like, oh, yeah, they want alcoholic trips.
I think they like switched them out or something. There was like more to the story, but like when the waiter found out like they were getting served alcoholic beverages, they like grabbed them all away from them immediately and like ran to the back and like tried to correct the situation. But I don't think it was fully the waiter's fault.
Oh my god, that is so insane.
But that's what you get for going to sugar Factory.
I know, I can't believe people are still going to sugar Factory.
I've never been, and I really want to go.
Should we go? But oh, we've actually thought about going, but that we literally on the podcast actually have looked up sugar factory, but all the ones in LA are closed. You would have to go to Las Vegas. But Sugar Factory is having a comeback because I keep seeing it all over the place, So maybe they'll reopen the ones in LA.
I have a note in my podcast notes that I just looked at and I was like trying so hard to figure out what I meant by this. I just oat milk cortado, simple syrup, Asian chicken salad but when we went to Jones, I wrote it down in the podcast notes and I was like, fuck, dude, Like what am I trying to say here?
But it's just my order order. Well, this is a conversation me and Drew started off camera. I was saying that foot fetishes need to be normalized because it's not that crazy, like.
They're fairly normalized.
I think the mass majority still like ale feet, like you got your dogs out, Like. I think it's normalized in a way of like for free, like that's like a thing, But it's not because it's not because people are like, oh, it's like normal to.
Like NYA has a foot fetishes? What I do?
I would suck on the toes of the right person.
No, I don't think we need to normalize that.
But then you said we need to normalize furries first, and that makes no fucking sense because we're talking about normalizing a human body part versus people who get in fucking animal costumes and fun.
Yeah. No, I think furries are demonized. Obviously there's bad, but there's bad and a lot of good and everywhere. But I think like furries are like they're they're braver than the fucking marines. Like I really do come in them. I'm not a furry, could never be a furry. I do want a first.
I'm not a furry. I fucking hate them. They're disgusting.
But but the like conventions like the bug furries, those are sick, like the moth ones and.
The say the cosmic are fire, like the commitment to it is fire. But then I think about, like, actually, you know what, No, maybe in this one conversation you're
changing my mind. What I will say is like if I had to choose between having sex with like a random person who has like no interest and no passions versus having sex with a furry that furry is about to fuck me crazy, like that is gonna be some crazy as like, you know, furries are fucking like anybody with the passion that fucking like intense is fucking.
I have so many passions, like so many passions that I love.
You want to prove it in the bedroom. I love.
No. But yeah, I think foot fetishes are normalized. I think they are a thing, and I think it's just like I think true equality is when you can make fun of something, And being able to make fun of foot fetishes, I think just makes it so like it's hello normalized. Also, like there's like some like like connection in the brain where like the sex center of your brain is right next to like the foot center or something. So like sometimes those like neurons like crossfire, and that's
why some people develop fetish. I think so like obviously, like I saw one fucking I actually did see an article on it. This wasn't me watching a fucking TikTok.
Watching a TikTok and saying you read an article literally classic classic, twenty something year old vibes.
Foot fetish.
Did you just have to spell foot out loud to type it right?
Uh?
Yeah. It occurs in the part of the brain called the samatosensory cortex, which is the area that makes you feel things. Apparently this part of the brain is right next to the part of the brain that controls your feet and toes. So like crossfires the neurons, blah blah, and that's why some people develop did that why I.
Can't stop looking at your feet? Can you take your shoes off? We're no shoe household and no socks. We've become a no shoe and no sock household because your socks can pick up dirt. From your house and bring them into my house.
So no sock household would be so nasty on like hard floor, you need to.
Take your bare feet out immediately. I actually love that. I love the sound of feet hitting a floor, like walking around. It's literally so funny. No, no, because it's funny. It's like duck feet, like our feet literally are like yeah, like it's so funny that like our feet just like makes sounds like we literally as humans, like nobody can be silent, like everything you do like there is a sound to it.
Yeah. Well, I mean you never hear me when I sneak into your bedroom at night and won't you sleep, Well.
That's because I'm a heavy sleeper. But sometimes I do peek my eye open a little bit and I see you and then I'm like.
Away, Like I've said this one hundred million times. But Enya in the morning when she wakes up, she has like zero control over her body and like she stomps through the fucking house like she like, I'm.
Just heavy footed. As far if I was in Texas Chainsaw and ask her, I'd be like if I was in Fortnite and somebody had their like visual audio thing on, you know, how it's like the little feet when they're walking around. You my sounds would be like humongous feet walking around. If you had to if you ever had to walk into a room full of everyone you've ever met, who would you look for first?
You?
Me, I think it would be you. Two When I thought of it, it was you first, and then I was like, Fuck, that's a hard question though, because like it would depend on how I'm feeling, like not how because like I would be like really stuck between looking for you or Ryan. But I think that includes your family too, Like it's literally like everybody you know. If it was everybody you've ever met, who would you go in looking for?
I Like, I think without second thought, it would be you because I'm just literally so like used to you, Like I've been away from my family for like a like it's literally just like oh, where's like Inn, You're like where's Josh? Like where where are my people? I always think about that like into the world situation, like I would collect you, I would collect Josh and I would collect a zool and we'd get in one of y'all's car and like drive across the country and like drop off v everywhere.
I know, that's like my biggest thing. When I think of like the apocalypse and the world ending, I'm like, fuck, dude, Like I hate that I wouldn't be with y'all too, but I need to be with my family, like because of just like I want, I love my family. But when I read that, I was like, damn. I was like trying. I thought of you, and then I was like, no, it should be like my fucking dad, Like that's why I should look at four first. But just the reality is like I don't think I would like look for
my dad first. I would look for you, which is would you look for Oh?
I would look for your mom so that I can.
Bang one last time.
Yeah, well, that's funny when.
You say that, because in the room of everybody met, if I was with Drew's mom in the room, we'd already be banging.
What's funny?
So you get your heart broken for no reason?
And also it's funny in her room with all the women that I've had sex with, your mom would be the only one in there. It's like a thousand times. What it's like, we've had sex a thousand times.
Okay, okay, yeah.
You've only had sex with his mom, no, no, what. Also me and Drew have realized, or I realized the other day when I was going to get in my car, I looked at my car and I immediately got so humiliated because my car has a fucking nasty little antenna.
I forgot.
It was freaking me the fuck out right, And I was like, has that always been on there? And she was like, yeah, that's always been there, and I was like, there's no way my car has always had that goddamn fucking intent on, so stupid got so I got so embarrassed. I contemplating going and ripping it off the top of my car because it was so humiliating. And then when we were driving, we kept looking at every car has like a little nub or intent.
I was like eye blind to it, like I like nose blind to fucking seeing intennas, Like I literally like, it was freaking me the fuck out. And there's so many different like variations and shapes. There's like nubs and then there's nubs with the stick, which those are horrifying, the nubs with the mine has a nub with the stick those I hate those, and then the tall ones that are like on these to.
Have that because like that, like I need to get my truck so I can have that tall antenna and put a little thingy like I'll put an LGBT flag on it for Drew because I'm usually gonna be driving around with Drew. Yeah.
No. When we were talking about it, like my fucking capitalistic, rotten brain like was like, oh my god, like we need to start like a new like intenda like head bob business, like you know how people would put like the jack in the bottom.
That's not a thing anymore.
I was like, we need to restart that, like we.
Should make emergency in orcom little nubs that would.
Be fire, that would be really fire.
But it's fucking disgusting. And but then I had me thinking. I was like, damn people who design cars, and just like design objects for everyday use in general, you have to be really good at it for it to be a widely adopted design. And those are such good designs because I've had that car for five years and not once have I ever looked at it and seen that stupid fucking nasty tail nub ass.
Intellna, why don't they put it in like the fucking tail light or.
Something like why don't even need that this, this can do more than what my car can do with that fucking intenna. And this doesn't happen in antenna, Like why do we have an antenna?
The phone talking to the antenna? Be like I can do anything, you can do better actually does.
But it's not sticking out of it like a fucking nasty wiener. Cai, That's what I meant, cau. Oh, I gotta go into detail for God.
And they got bodied and you got bodied.
But you know what I mean, like that shit is internal. Why the fuck does mine have like a little chub, but like my car has a chub, Like it's so nasty, it's got.
A little boner. Okay, well I got a couple of more.
Who uses the radio? Why does it? Why does it need that for the fucking radio?
You're being class being needs it.
For the radio. But every time I listen to the radio in my car, it is always stacky. It has never been a clear signal pisses me off.
Sorry, you're beautiful when you're angry.
Because I'm passionate.
Okay, I wrote down I got so lucky to experience. Never mind that one's gay. I'll just tell you that one in private this one.
Oh no, that's sweet. Why did you write that?
Just because I thought about it and I like was like, literally, like that's so real, Like I literally do, I literally you do. I'm saving that one for me and Indya.
Oh it was really sweet, guys. But I know he did. He showed me that because he wants to hit later. I know it. I just know. That's why I'll let.
Jeffrey Star goes. I farted, it's her wing.
But it sounded exactly like fart.
Was that her phone?
Yeah? It was my phone. I don't know why it's such a strange sound.
Y'all. Ever get the PS five control and I'll put it on your fucking clitteries.
Okay, Actually I was saying the other day. I said the other day. I literally was like, I'm gonna make an attachment to wait, I think I said it on the podcast. I'm gonna make an attachment to the PS five controller that has like a little stick that goes down there. But then it would be really bad for
your brain. Yeah, it would be bad for your brain because then, like what, you're running away from someone in Texas changeaw Mascar and they're literally killing you, and then like your brain would be getting stimulated in that way, and you're seeing that. And that's how we have so many fucking killers is because the porn industry is so fucking gnarly and disgusting and teaches you to have signaling for abuse to sexual events and it's really nat and excustic.
Ellen degenerous saves money on makes and it's.
Really good that they did that idea. That's really good that they did that.
But I was gonna say, Jeffrey Starg's live every day, Okay, so I know all of y'all probably know.
Wait, I'm sorry, but I do need to clarify that, Like it's I saw people the other day being like, why do they keep saying Disneyland and Marty Gras And it's gone to rah, it's gone too far where we're taking like our jokes that we have as friends behind closed doors to the public and we are not explaining it. And there's no explanation. The Marty Gras thing is just because I said it in Josiah and like one of the midnight McDonald's, and Josiah thought that it was really
funny for some reason. So he's been like every time he sees me He's like, say, Marty Gras and I'm like Marty rat and like we keep doing it. That's become like a joke, and the joke he was, so now we just keep screaming at Also the Ellen Degener's joke. I'm keeping that from Yeah, that's for us, but that's like an inside joke that you're just never going to understand.
And you should have connections with your own friends, so you could have those kind of things that you could throw up people and like use it as a device to make them so jealous and incentivize their own emotional connection to other people.
Huh. Jeffree Star Okay, yeah, yeah, Jeffreys.
Hello, hey hey, just okay, where you go?
Where'd you go? Where'd you go? Look at me? Look at me? You seem lost? You're looking well, all right. I was asleep last night and I woke up this like at like three am to go pee. Fell asleep with my lights on on top of my covers, by the way, But I did remember to shut my computer
this time. I never forget that or always. I don't know a betther shot, but I like woke up and like my tongue hurt, like the tip of my tongue hurt really bad in my dream, and I woke up and like I was chomping down on the tip of my tongue, like like biting on it almost the entire night that I was asleep. And I woke up and I was like, damn, my tongue hurts, and I went back to sleep. I know my tongue was hurting again in my fucking dream, And I woke up this morning
biting on my tongue again. And if that becomes a fucking habit, it hurts so bad. It literally feels like I just like bit all like like you know when you burn your tongue on, like like a coffee or hot chocolate. That's what it feels like on the tip of my tongue. Like I scraped all of the fucking taste buds off and it hurts so bad.
Good now you can give yourself vegetables or something and you don't have to think about the taste.
Okay, you're like you.
Almost made me raise my voice.
Yeah, you almost made me Wait where we were jeffree stars seconds?
Four seconds?
Oh freaking seconds. Oh. What I said though, is it's literally like you know what I'm gonna tell you something I wasn't blah blah blah. I'm not even sad that you broke your elbow. Yeah, it's like the same the same female type of person is not the same person.
No, no, whoa, my brain just fused those together.
Yeah exactly, But what the fuck? Oh, Jeffrey Star goes live every day. I'm sure everyone has noticed, Like why is Jeffrey going live every day? It probably started out as like boredom, like in fucking Wyoming wherever he is, like being bored as fuck. Well, it's evolved into him doing those TikTok battles, right. Well, I ran the numbers. You can see how many gifts people get. Like there's like a ranking system, and Jeffree Star, without fail, every single day is in the top three. Like that. I've
been checking for the last week. He's in a top three every single day with like anywhere from like one point three million to like three million gifts a day. There's a calculator online that I looked, and I did like very conservative numbers. He's making eight to like thirteen
fifteen thousand dollars a day on TikTok live streaming. Only if that if this calculator is correct, but it's so insane, like he's people are giving him essentially forty thousand dollars a day and then it's getting cut down and after taxes and everything, it becomes it. And then I was like, that's why he does it. He's making more money doing TikTok Live ship than he ever did on YouTube or anything like. That's that's an accesseration.
Well though he's making so much money because of all that yak meat. God knows it's flying off the shelves fly. I don't think yak meat, but it probably just tastes like meat, like when people start eating like extravagant meats from other animals. I'm like, bro iguanna taste like chicken. So like there's probably just like eighteen other speechies that just tastes like chicken.
I will say, like there is like a level of like nasty gaminess to like why old cat meat that I don't fuck we well, cock meat, Yeah, you don't fucking say cocks. WHOA. I don't know why I said that, Like, I literally don't. I didn't even think that about it just like came out of my mouth. That was like so weird. But like there's like a level of like this flavor profile that's just so fucking nasty boots that
like gave me. It tastes like it's been outdoor and it's like a stringent and it's like fucking stringy and tough. It's like no, no, no, no, no, no no no. But I'm sure it tastes just like oxtail.
I would fuck. Oh I'm getting oxtail today.
Mmm.
Oh okay, well.
Oh wait, I got one more. I guess it could go into Drew syeub corner. Yeah, yeah, we'll do Drew Seup corner.
It's the Grime guys, exciting news. I have something to.
Save due and just joining this one is not nearly I think magnum opis was last week like Drew sab corner last week was magnum.
Your magnum opus was you saying to out people in the comments? That was like the funest thing I've heard in a long time.
Being a Grimes fan is like being a Lana fan in twenty fourteen. We are in the trenches. I'm a closeted Grimes fan. You can't say publicly that you're a Grimes fan, but like, I'm sorry.
No, it literally is like what it was like saying you're a Lona fan in twenty twenty. It was like saying you're alta fan from like twenty fourteen to twenty like twenty two it was like, oh, you're a Lana fan, like okay, and now now it's all the rate.
Yeah, but Grimes is just misunderstood, y'allren't really listening to the messagees she's saying, you're just hearing the words and taking them at face value and very literally. But also she has had some really fucking wax shit. But like, like I said, we're in the trenches, like Lana doing cocaine and like telling her twelve year old fans to do cocaine.
Umm.
Oh, I didn't talk about the Halloween mask. They made a fucking Halloween mask of me and are selling them at City.
It's kind of fucked up.
It's fucking crazy. They charge your phone and be bisexual, eat hot chips and lie. Yeah, that's so real. I'll show you the video after do you have.
It saved and you I have it in our tacks, It'll be.
Okay, Drew sigh op for real this time. Welcome to Drew Shy on Corner. You ever get high with someone and bust out laughing because they ugly as fuck.
Fucked up, Like that's why I can't get high around you?
What the fuck? The male version of san is he out? Okay, Oh, I have gay people does not produce anything good. But like, obviously that's not true because Kyane and you are here making the podcast. But like, wow, I thought I had COVID, but I was just in pussy withdrawal. That's all I got. Guys, I know this was a flop. I tried so hard.
That's really crazy. Yeah, mine is uh girlhood, bitch, you're twenty eight, and we need to take that word away from people. Girlhood. She was a fairy bitch. You are thirty two, Like you need to calm the fuck down.
Womanhood Yeah part of girlhood? No, okay, yeah, I'm gonna shut the fuck.
Up all right. Media of the Wee. Yeah, I saw past lives that it made me want Yeah, maybe.
My Unknown Death two thousand and two. Just listen to the album give it a listen by Young Leen. I feel like you might like it a little bit. Umm Shawnnie Bin Laden Uh grint shet shit, a whole lot of wickedry walk hard. Trying to bin Laden is just fucking lit. You know who I was listening to the other day and I was like, damn, like you're actually like the voice of a generation, like you shaped so much culture, like and I don't even think I know
he realizes it. But young Thug Like young Thug is like that bitch, Like no one's really like talking about it, but like we need a free young thug, Like for real, we.
Need to free me from the prison that is having to do this podcast with you.
Vespertine. Listen to Vespertine by Buyork. I know I say it like once every month, but like literally I'm begging you. It's like best album. I'm trying to get everybody on that shit like stop same Post or debut as your per favorite album.
Like there's no I will say Vespertine is like between Vespertine and Post. I would throw on Vespertine over Post, but like possibly may Bee, yeah, possibly may.
There's like it's also quiet, hyperballid, army possibly maybe like the modern things, but like other than.
That, like did you say army of me?
Yeah? There's not like much replay that.
Oh wait, but I really like I miss you.
Met you?
Yeah, headphones actually wait, this is like, actually, I'm gonna count headphones. I miss you. Possibly maybe it's a quiet hyperballid army. I mean I didn't count those, but that's like more than half of the album.
It's like Bops, the best routines, got hidden place, Cocoon, it's not up to you, Undue Frosty Unison. So like they're pretty pretty tired, but.
Debut has human behavior like someone in love.
Wait you saying that one? I like literally can't oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah around me, big time sensuality, big chiptuality. Damn, it's a York day.
No. They were the.
First humans to tap into that octave.
Like, so B York is that bitch, And I know a lot of y'all are in the phase of faking liking B York because like you want to be a part of it. And I swear to God, just keep pushing and it will click for you. One day. No one listens to B York the first time and likes her. I swear to God. It's like Blade, like Byork finds you. You don't find B York. You don't find Blade. It'll come to you when you need her. Well.
My Media of the Week is Suzanne by Leonard Cohen, and that's no way to say goodbye by him. But I don't think that's the real name of that song. Actually, let me just find it, like as if anybody actually listens to what I say, because nobody gets a hey, that's no way to say goodbye. April by Brian Green
is such a good song. The album Anyhow by Leland Whitty, which is an album you convinced me to listen all the way through because I had only originally listened to like the popular Yeah, I had originally only listened to the first two tracks on this because it was like like Last Moon was the only one I had listened to, And then I listened to the whole album and I love the album. I listened to it every time I'm in the sauna.
It's like freaky, like it's like nice, like jazzy, like.
Yeah, it's like a nice, like jazzy ambient album, and it like has like drums in it, which I usually like for ambient music to have. Like drums is like really nice. A Summer Wasting by Belle and Sebastian Together We are Beautiful, which is what I said last week, And honestly, anything by Blossom Dearie nice or like not the song but like just Blossom Diary.
Period. I am I'm shadowing. Watched Adventure Time, which I know, wait hold on, let me restart. I watched Adventure Time for the first time, like sat down and watched like a bunch of episodes back to back because like obviously, like I've seen bits and pieces and episodes through like friends or like on Cartoon Network when I would watch cartoons or like whatever that vibe was, but like I never sat down and like consumed it. And everyone in
my life was like, Drew you would like love that show. Yeah, so fucking much. It's so Drew core, Like it's literally it. And I know it's probably like here safe for me to even say, like as a twenty five year old man like that, I haven't seen Adventure Time, but I sat down and watched like two hours and twenty minutes worth yesterday while I was like drawing and working, and I can say that everyone was right. It is the best cartoon ever made. Yeah, period, Like the best cartoon ever made.
You've seen Midnight Gospel, right, Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, dude, that's such like a creator. Yeah, it's so genius. For them to like take a podcast take or not even that, but like or that plus like that's I've never even had a thought close to that level of like ingenuity and geniousness, but like the fact that like we grew up watching Adventure Time and then like now that we're old enough to consume like these deeper like topics, Like it's cool that like the same creator.
So it's like familiar and it's like nostalgic, but it's also like heavy and deep, and it's things that we actually have probably.
Experience and I need Duncan trust any car come here? All right, I'm here, and we'll end the episode with that. So thank you guys.
We want to have sex with Duncan Trussell Tag Team