alright listen up gay people

Bye, y'all, Welcome back to emergency intercom.

Guys. I finally saw no Stu. I want to go to sleep.

That movie was born as I want to suck your vagina. I want to suck the period vagina, your penis, horny ass fucking.

Honestly, it wasn't as horny as people let it on to be. Like it was a good movie. I don't want people to walk away and be like, oh my god, like what a fucking idiot bitch, freak bitch doesn't know enough sparta.

Away thinking that regards this, because that's just who you are. You're an idiot freak bitch, like just period, Like that's just like you.

I guess, Yeah, you are what you eat and I stay eating you.

You stay munching on this kitty cat, this box ill like you.

Also, Drew had to run around the house naked today and I'm so my god.

Yeah it was horrible, literally horrible, worst, whorse fucking drama like it is horrible. Well, it was freezing cold, my penis was tiny. I'm never sleeping naked again in my life because the one time I did, because I was like, oh, I got a heated blanket in my bed. Like, I don't need to wear all these clothes, like because.

I normally wear You got a heated blanket like four days ago. Oh my god, you didn't tell me about this.

I normally wear like head to toe sweatsuit.

With When you got the blanket, decided like, where did you order it? Or did you like get it?

I ordered it?

Okay, what the fuck?

I'm just saying, like, feels like something you should have like gotten the mail and showed to me.

I show you everything. Yes, that's just weird.

Well, there's reasons why I.

Feel like you're I personally feel like you're in the wrong.

True, thank you. He got a heated blanket behind my back, like I feel like I have its.

Sorry Jesus fucking Christ. What did I do normally? I just normally I sleep head to toe in a sweatsuit because our house is so fucking cold. It is literally so freezing in here all the time. So I was like, you know, I'm going to get a heated blanket, And then I was like, actually, I don't need to wear clothes to that anymore. I really don't need to, Like I'm going to sleep naked for the first time in

Yeah, it really does sound like you know when you stumble upon the weird ass like end of the world sirens throughout the world, and it's just the scariest noises you could think of.

That is what the It's horrible and like all the way in my room, like you don't really hear how awful it is. But when you're at the security panel, like it is like it is it's inside of you. It's not like it's not like a sound you're hearing, like it's reverberating through your bones, like it's like shaking

They like, maybe that's better than because you just had to run around the house naked.

Yeah, And I was so scared someone was gonna like run out after me to get to the alarm. But everyone was fucking gone or faking like they were asleep, because you don't sleep through.

That, but I mean I could.

I'm not gonna lie. I know when it went off that other time, I didn't sleep through it. But I realize when I wake up to my phone. If I go to sleep and I have an alarm set and I end up staying up later and I don't end up waking up on time, I will wake up and I have slept through my alarm to the point that it doesn't say like snooze like it literally it's the gray screen that says snooze or repeat and it'll be hours later, which means I've just like slept through the noise.

I sleep through an alarm like nothing.

It's actually insane.

It means nothing to me, Like you're your silly alarm sounds that you think you're gonna wake me up.

They don't even.

Try, Like literally, don't try to wake me up.

Wait, hold on, this is my alarm sound.

Wait.

Also, everybody got on us about our lighting in the last episode, So this is our tep deat good lighting for a podcast.

If you were wondering, like this is genuine been three years.

It's been three years and it.

Looks like, No, we're almost four years and we're like, yep, let's get a light in right there.

Yeah, and if you could see the way it looks, you'd be shocked. Wait, how do you change or find your alarm? Because I want to know it's in the clock app, I know, but like I want to know what alarm sound you use?

Oh? Which, Oh, I have a plethora because trust and believe, I've had to try them all, Like I've literally had you try them all. What's crazy is in high school I used to wake up to like I had my alarm set to like Frank Ocean for a while, which is crazy because I guess I just never fell into rem sleep.

I just would be awake.

This will interrupt us in a second.

But is it just like your classic alarm sound?

Yeah?

This has been the week of me getting scammed, by the way. I've literally been scammed three different fucking times this week. One the first time was by my favorite rapper. And I've been withholding this story from y'all for so long because.

That's not waking me up.

See like that literally, I'm actually like you've just transported me to the under like water world of Fortnite. And like that's where I'm at myres, like my feet are going like this time, looking at my feet go down a water slide with.

That sounds like a blade song.

No, that shit that wakes me up every fucking time, Like no questions asked. And I don't know if people. I don't think a lot of people use that specific sound because I hear the one that everybody uses that they get pissed about on like TikTok. And for the first time ever, they used that alarm sound in a TikTok and it really did send shutters through my body, like it really did like activate my fight or flight sound.

This is what I have for one of my alarms. Oh my god, Hello, what is this one?

Oh?

See, you do wake up to that alarm? Because I was like, dude, you sleep through that everything.

So I sleep through it and then I've switched to this one. I had a sleepover with Rain and she was mad as fuck at me, and I'm not allowed to put on alarms in her house anymore because like literally she had to kept waking up and like find my phone to turn off my alarm because I don't turn them off.

I feel like I just like like I like, nudge you await, the vibration will wake me up.

Sometimes you need to get the vibrating bed. Actually know you don't know, I'll tell you that much right now. She would she already never leaves that goddamn bed. She'd be catatonic toes curling. Umm, I want to get the alarm that you have to shoot with a gun?

What I know what you're talking about?

Like there, I mean like it was such a thing in like the nineties, like in a movie some kid would have one, and it was like it's like a laser style gun, like a laser.

Oh oh okay.

What is that frequency that gives us cancer? From my phone?

I swear I know of all the.

AR or the VR. What is it called when you're like looking at your phone and like the IR? Yeah? Infrared? Yeah, that she gives us cancer?

By the way, everything does, Like next.

I know, even the fucking fiber I'd been taking gives me cancer. But I got scammed by my favorite fucking rapper, y'all. I literally did, like and I knew, like I knew I was fucking up by buying this. But Edward Skeletrics released an engraved iPod with his new album on it.

Oh.

I remember.

I was like, yeah, you should do that, that's awesome.

And no, hay, no hate. I got got like simply put like I don't give a fuck, Like but it was one hundred dollars and I want my fucking engraved iPod.

But that the thing is, I wouldn't want to refund. The idea is good enoughing like just do it.

And it wasn't. It wasn't directly from Edward Skeletrics. It was from the people selling like and engraving them like this. It was random. No, it was like he collaborated with this brand. So I DMed them on the side and was like can I buy one of those? I really

They're like, don't forget the last four digits of your social.

Yeah, well don't worry. So yeah, I got scammed trying to get it in Edward's Skeletric's iPod and again I genuinely don't care. I want my money back, but no hate. I got got simply put in. Then I got scammed three days ago. This one still really really really hurts me, Like this one actually upsets me. So and you needed to go to a brawl shop to like get new fucking brawl and panties. And I went in there and was like way too horny, so I had to walk out.

Yah, there was actually a guy in there who I didn't tell you about. Actually finish your scam and then I'll sorry.

So I was like, oh, I'll go next door to the skincare store next door.

I walked next door to the skincare store next exactly.

I walk in and it is so sterile, sterile and like dark, dark, dark energy, but it so bright so it doesn't make sense. It doesn't compute, and it's like really really bad vibes, and I'm just like kind of floating around and they're like, oh, you know we're a spall right, and I was like yeah, I didn't know that. I was like, oh, I just wanted to look at your's products, and so I'm like going through the line and I'm like What'sya's flagship product And they're like, oh,

I know that morning he came into my room and he was like look and started like shaking.

People keep asking me if I got facials, and Babe, I did, but not the kind you're thinking of, eh, But I what was I saying? I got distracted by me getting a facial, I had wore flashbags. What was I saying?

I don't know, people keep asking you about your good fucking skin.

Down you were like bragging, Yeah, oh.

Yeah, my skin, my skin is great. No, no, no was I was like. I was like, I'm not gonna buy anything from this goddamn store because I don't need anything, but the way they were treating me made me just feel like I needed to buy something. They always fucking get you, they always get me. They like prey upon my ego and it works every time. And I should have just fucking walked out because it's not cheap skincare, Like it's really really yeah.

So I'm like it's a brand they carry in like Sephora. So I was like, oh, yeah, like that would.

Be cute you go in there.

Yeah, Like I knew it was like a little more expensive. And as I was walking out, I was like, actually, you know what, I'm gonna prove them wrong, Like they don't think I can buy this shit. I'm gonna buy this shit. So I'm like, oh, I'll just get the night serum and they were like oh okay, and they started they started treating me like I deserve to be treated.

They started treating you like a human being.

Yeah, exactly. So I get to the checkout counter and I see a number flash across the screen and I like didn't even think it was a possibility for this tiny, little fucking bob. I'm not exaggerating, y'all. This big, this this round, this big, like the size of Kai's penis like really really really really tiny.

It's not accurate, but.

But I'm like, i see a number of flash across the stream, and I'm like, there's like there's no way that must have been the order before, right, Like there's no way that that is for that.

Like I had a million like you were trying to convince me, like I was there with you, Like.

There's no way, absolutely no. So I'm like sitting there. He's like, oh, I can take your card now, and I was like okay, and then he like has one of the like portable things. He didn't tell me the price and before, and like I'm going to tap my card down. I'm like, I'm expecting like one hundred dollars one hundred and twenty dollars max on this little fucking vial. Like I would have been uncomfortable.

Because it's like a nice skincare brand, but you're not expecting like.

Yeah, and I like, I go to tap my card and I'm like, oh, oh, my fucking god, Like y'all, it was three hundred and sixty three fucking dollars worth a single buyer, a popper sized literally literally it was literally popper sized. And I was like, are you out of your fucking mind?

And then you paid for it and he walked on.

He said that you guys so fun exactly. I was like, y'all's customer service was amazing. Thank you guys so much for stealing my money. Stealing my money, you.

Guys really made me feel at home. You have no idea.

Because that's two of your biggest insecurities. It's like being rejected by customer service and like financial stuff for stuff that's expensive.

Exactly.

I know it's true.

Literally, one thing about a Drew is he's not spending that fucking money, Like he's not gonna do it.

Well, he spends money on me, but for stuff that doesn't matter. He won't spend.

Money well, like your hole is cheap, so.

It's not Yeah, you ran through twenty thirty twenty five bucks a pop.

I also just want to clarify, Oh, my dick isn't like small like a popper, It's actually big like a Yankee candle.

But continue ew, that is like disgusting. Hurts, but yeah, and then it hurts. True.

I literally thank them. I thank them for stealing my money. Stealing it's blind robbery, bitch. It has been sitting on my fucking desk for the past three days because I refused to fucking open that shit and make my skin oily.

I was trying to convince one of our friends to go back and return it.

For Oh yeah, this was our method. This was our method. I was gonna I think you should still do. Yeah, it's getting returned.

Like.

The thing is that we are two people nearing thirty at a rapid rate, sitting here talking about how you got scammed, when really we still navigate the world like children, and we're too embarrassed to.

Be like, hi, so what's the price on that?

Because I'm scared nobody takes me serious, so I'm like, they don't care.

Well, they see me and they don't take me serious, which is my fault.

But also because we literally this is how me and Drew go into stores because we are not social people.

In that way we go in and I really.

I like, like all creepy and shit making jokes.

Whisper to each other and laugh and don't talk to anybody, and it's not to be rude.

It literally is.

I am so terrified because also if I get locked in a conversation, I'm scared mainly because I will talk someone's ear off.

Yeah, I'll tell them, tell them the method that he came up.

Drew is gonna send one of our friends back to the shop with my card and card and I d and say, hey, I sent my nephew in here, and I told him he could.

Get something nice for himself. All I was about another shop.

One hundred and fifty dollars supposed to.

Only spend one hundred to one hundred and fifty dollars, and he spent almost double that.

So I need to return this.

No, I did spend double that, almost triple that. So he's going to go in with my wallet or with my card, my ID and the receipt and the skincare.

Is that doesn't make sense? Is your pictures on your ID? They're gonna like this.

In case the asked, so you killed this man took his wallet in his skincare and now you're trying to get three hundred and sixty dollars back on the card, like what not even that?

But they're gonna be like this isn't your fucking nephew, Like like.

I'm adopted, I'm adopted, I'm adopted by Edie. I think I actually am adopted.

I mean, I think so too, huge, mistake.

Huge, I'm tiny and has no idea how to compliment me anymore.

No, I don't, I don't. I don't know what Drew wants like anything. Drew is like my girlfriend, who anything I say is going to be a problem.

She's on her period right now. I just don't even say anything.

Don't even what's it called face like Drew is always that is there is no that's.

My name or my drag name is permaluteal or something there's loose.

I guess it makes sense because you would look like shit all the time.

Lutile is which fuck you no lutes l o u t e a l lutes heal you that cooked, that cooked, that cooked, And you tries to compliment me and she'll be like, oh, Drew, you look so like you look so strong today, And I'm like cool. So I'm fucking ginormous and fat and greasy and gross, and I'm a.

Fucking no I can't say anything. Today I was like, oh my god, you look really good today.

You look like tiny and then he was like, okay, well I was trying to gain weight, but like it's okay, fine.

I know I gained five pounds and no one noticed.

No one noticed, literally, like there is But also I don't compliment men, so I like, I genuinely don't know what to say, Like I don't know what, Like what are you even supposed to say to a man to make him happy?

Like here's a man, girl, don't say shit, that's what you say?

No, literally, I don't plan on ever. Also I don't need to be good at complimenting. Like also straight men, but you you are harder to compliment because you're not like a normal gay person. You're like a very weird kind of gay person.

Does that make sense?

All my other gay friends are you so easy? So easy to compliment?

Drew, Like literally have to be so specific.

Literally all you have to do is say my skin looks nice and my hair looks dense, and I will get a boat in her Like.

But yeah, I don't know how to compliment men, and I don't plan on learning because, like I seriously, I'm not kidding.

I wish I was kidding. I'm like, what could you say to a man that would make it fair?

Like you look strong today? But no, if you if you compliment a straight man in.

The world, if you put your mind to it, I love you.

If you compliment a straight man, they think you're like hitting on them. Yeah, it's like not, it's it's really really dark sided and twisted. You love men. So yes, I did wipe shit on my jeans, I put poopy on my No, I'm a working I'm a working man. Wait hold on, Actually we were talking about poopy butt. We were talking about poopy butt earlier today me and me and Kai had a poop butt conversation, and me

I actually can't have this conversation, Like I really can't.

I doesn't do it, she doesn't in the same in the same thing she brustes her teeth in. It's crazy.

No.

Actually, I have my hair spray bottle for when I like get my hair all curly, and I'm too frugal to bio but day so I just like put steaming hot water in it, and I just put the But the bottle is really long, so usually the end of the bottle gets in the poop water.

But you just.

And Kay was telling me that he loves when he's showering when he like fingers a dingleberry out of his butt.

It's like, it's really not that funny. It's just funny, because like it's.

Not funny year old.

Poop like jokes to be so funny. They really are so funny. Also, I went had breakfast this morning and the pitch.

Behind me had the most annoying dog on the planet.

And I never wanted so badly to turn around and kick the fuck out of that dog like her and that dog needed to.

Fucking go the saying all dogs go to heaven. Yeah, by my hands. I hate dogs. I really don't fuck with them at all. I've been killing dogs. I've been killing No, I've been killing dogs.

Oh you shouldn't say that on the podcast.

No, I've been killing them, you know, I've been running them over. No, guys, I like you know that about me.

Wait, what we're gonna act like that other thing?

Oh wait, I didn't even tell them what happened to me? Something really, really bad happened to me, like something so bad.

You, Me and Drew haven't been hanging out this week because we've been busy doing our own thing.

So, oh my god, his small cut.

Sorry Drew, and this fucking cut like one thing about I don't think. I genuinely don't know if I will let you, like raise children, because the way you act about like, I feel like to be Gypsy Roses mom.

No, No, I know I will. My kid is sick, I will.

Be give a fuck. Nobody gives a fuck that my kid is sick.

My kids will be Gypsy Roses mom, and I'll be Gypsy rose Like. I'll be the one that's sick all the time, and I'll be making them make me sick by telling you, oh, can you pour me a glass of water? Meanwhile, I'm putting minute amounts of cyanide in the bottom of the cups so they're poisoning me. And it's not poisoning me, but what yourself unousands by proxy syndrome munchausens by Wait, I'm gonna munch housene Munchausen on

See them for audio listeners. I've been cutting myself one insert the picture so greazy.

Yeah, I was trimming the tendrils off my monsterra. She's a very happy girl. She's very very happy.

Azul fucks that plant and.

It's poisonous to Azul, and Azul still eats it.

No, Azol is addicted to it.

I think Azool gets a little high off of it because he goes and eats it, runs around and then gets under my bed, thrums up under my bed.

Or it throws up in my bed.

Yeah, he just like goes, And we shouldn't.

Be talking about poisoning as with my monsterra it's not us poisoning in the ten.

Bad about that? Get off my deck? Like what?

I take my cat to them and he doesn't eat it anymore. But I was cutting the tindrils off and I had a serrated blade and I was sawing through all of them. I was like sawing and it was like cutting through a fucking stick. It was like wood, and it was like a lot and it was like rotating the plant around as it was sawing. And I had like about twenty of them to cut through.

You know what's.

Crazy is like no one was there, and what you were describing it sounds like the weakest, like like it's like not vivid. This is like you're trying to describe this like vivid landscape, like you're in.

The track through the jungle.

Really, it's you a twenty seven year.

Old old cutting on the floor. I'm not fucking twenty seven. Chill out. No, literally that.

No.

I was in such a bad mood too. I was so fucking pissed. I was like so pissed because the plant wouldn't stop rotating around and I'm like, bitch, you're like three hundred pounds, Like chill the fuck out. But I'm sawing through it.

We literally have.

Oh but I'm I'm cutting through all of them, and there's about twenty of them, and I go one by one and I get through all of them, and all of them take the same amount the strength and the same amount of cuts, and I'm like, oh wow, this is actually way easier than I thought. Then I get to the last fucking one, the last little tendril, and I'm sawing, and I like, go in there, and I'm like, I'm using the same amount of pressure that I did before,

You should have just killed yourself.

I know, I thought about it. That's what would wait? Why would I kill myself? I just had like a quarter inch cut.

Because honestly, you you're already starting.

Wow. Yeah, I go in. I think agree with her. I just agree with that sentiment.

It's just I'm trying to go get her that like. Once I start, I don't like, I don't stop.

Like in it.

Yep, it's my time.

Thought you said it's midtime.

Drew called me and said that his skin was rotting off of his.

It is disgusting, like he should have just gone to the er and just at least had it like rinsed out with like a good He should have gone to Rite Aid and get.

A little thing.

I'm alive and I still have my full fucking finger.

You have, Actually, you know what, This is so disgusting and I'm going to out myself for the nastiest thing ever. I have had a really dense past month, just been busy, and I'm yrian.

What oh I.

Thought you were saying you had a dense period, and that's what I thought too.

No, but I did have the kind of period that felt like the period of Christmas past. It was like bubble bubble brul and like soil, like whatever the witches would say over the pot, Like that's what it was?

What the fuck was that was it? There?

Like bubble bubble bruling, something like.

I've never heard that once in my life.

You have.

It's like a hold on, I'll look it up. You keep you keep telling.

I've heard what I was saying.

So your period was bad?

Are you having a dense month?

Oh?

Bitch? I have.

This is actually disgusting. It's better now, guys.

I I'm not somebody who like I don't get like pedicures all the time. I used to get them all the time, but now I like maintain my own hands and feet at home.

Because I could.

Actually, I would rather walk into the street and get hit by oncoming traffic than sit in a random place with a stranger who I met three seconds ago when they're rubbing between my toes and I have to act like they're not there, but also be like, thank you, you're doing an amazing like it's just a lot.

Some people really like touching feet.

I mean, that's what I was thinking yesterday because I'm not gonna lie. When I was going in on my own toes, I had to go in. I wish I took a picture my feet. Granted, I also cleaned crazy yesterday and like my feet were really dirty. I was so cold in my toes where I literally had no sparratu feet, Like there's.

No other way to describe it. I had no sperratu claws.

Were they worse than mine?

Bad?

No?

My feet.

I've been so busy and disassociated for my body as of reson that low.

Key have not looked at my feet. No, it's not a good thing because my ship was ranked as fun like.

It was nasty. Now they look amazing. I like, did them up? I gave like I really like. But there was a remodeling happening last night, like last night we closed early, like.

Is that the chainsaw? Dude?

I was sitting at my like in my room for two hours.

It took me two hours to wait. Can I see them?

Wait?

Let me see them? Wait, let me have that sock? Can I see your sock?

Oh, Drew's making fun of me. Yeah, Kai has something to should you guys see what happened on TikTok this week. I basically got outed and I think we should address it on TikTok. And I don't know if you've seen this, but.

So bad it is.

Really I didn't know she was recording. Okay, let me just say that.

It is so bad.

Tell me I'm beautiful.

That sock is.

I don't like that because it really does sound like you.

That is like, I can't I wore that suck a while.

I took a walk in that sock.

You forget it is it's on face time?

So is so crazy that song is in the room, Like why is the song in the room with you and not him?

I thought, yeah, no, it's showing the sock on face time. Like that's the craziest part.

Honestly, if like people that perverted could fine, God, like people that perverted could genuinely just find another person who could be that perverted with them.

There's something sweet about But does that make sense to like, oh he really does? Just like is weird as fuck?

But like respect, That's what I was saying about swingers. I literally think swingers are so cute to me, like legitimately, I think they're so cute, like like people that have been yeah, oh older swingers, young.

In your thirties, but like get a ground.

Fifty year old swinger, six year old that have been together for like twenty plus years, thirty years, and like their sex life has gotten a little boring, and they're like, let's spice things up, like let's hook up with men and women, Like what if we did that? And like, I don't know, I just think it's so cute that they like they explore, they explore because.

Also in my head, a lot of those I'm idealizing that idea, but I'm like, oh, y'all have really been together for so long? You actually are just homies now, I'm in a way we are swingers. Yeah, we are roommate show up and we like we I mean, we're always present at each other's like, uh, sexual activities, yeah.

You know what. We don't even talk about that. But you know the roommate phase. You ever heard of that? No, there's like a phase in relationships when people move in together, the roommate phase. And it's like that's what kills most relationships. And I was just like reading a bunch about it, and like reading.

You watch the TikTok.

TikTok, reading a bunch.

You know it's real too.

No, I know.

Also they're like not not just reading about it. I was reading a bunch, like, don't get into it. I didn't see one paragraph not to you.

I saw like you page if you think about it. They did a bunch of reading on it, and they relayed the information to me.

It's not just started saying like someone told me.

Someone told me.

I can't prove, but someone someone.

I'm an expert. Now I'm an expert now on the roommate phase. Go look it up. It kills a lot of relationships. It's because they move in together and then they've never lived together, and it's like when you move in with the roommate you hate and then like you kind of butt heads, and then things get stagnant and you're just hanging out all day and you're like, oh my god, I want my own fucking space. Oh my god, leave me the fuck alone. Oh my god, I hate

I just don't think any couple needs to live together, Like I genuinely think living with a friend makes more sense to me.

Yeah. Well, it's also it's also giving, like we don't desire like that, like we don't. We have each other, so we don't like we're not we're never lonely like I feel like it's there's like it's like people that are like alone all the time and go to sleep alone and don't have roommates, they want like partners really badly to like hang out with all day long, but we have each other, which is I just don't think.

I'd want to hang out with a partner all day long.

Oh, I'm the same way. Like if I ever date someone, I literally need to see them maybe once a month. I'm not kidding me, And it does.

Keep the excitement alive, Like why do I have to see you every day? Also, I was no I was gonna say, I like living with a I've always.

I wasn't the kind of person who could live with a partner, because I did that for a very brief time in my early early twenties, like when I was nineteen twenty.

That also, I mean when I was nineteen twenty, like when I was one thousand night.

Yeah, she was one nine years old.

I did that very briefly, but I didn't want to do it, like I genuinely. I always knew from the beginning. I was like, this is not a good idea. I got convinced into doing it.

Guess what. The motherfucker moved out six months later, and.

We got into an argument the second we moved in because I wasn't picking up fast enough after myself when I was cooking.

And I was like, oh, feel down.

I do when I'm cooking, I'll clean up after I come, But I don't know. I'm kidding, I'm not doing the dishes after I cook. Damn can I fucking chill?

I just cooked?

Fuck that's why really am like cooking food is evil, Cooking food is It's really demonic. It really is demonic. I'm not kidding it.

Cooking is demonic. I think getting on that fuck it.

Oh wait, can we talk about Lady Gaga and how she's back in her demonic era? I know, I'm so happy, Thank god she's back in her dynamic era. Dnonic is something I've been working on it.

She looked grammy.

Yeah, she is like.

One of the most like gorgeous people ever. I love her so much. Also, everyone everyone was just amazing me. Did you see Cynthia singing for the Quincy Jones tribute tribute?

She makes it look so fucking easy.

I know that's like DOCI because I think I can do that.

I'm like, y'all doci, like I knew, I knew, but now I know, like you know what I mean? Like literally that performance was mind blowing. I was so Gagatondra three thousand by it, like literally bury me, bury me gagging. I was I ate that ship up and I was like, oh, this is exactly what she needed.

Like no, I know she is just so fucking good.

Also, she's gorgeous as fuck, but her NPR or tiny desk I think will be I.

Wonder if you you still listen to everything.

Yeah, I listened to it.

It's my favorite thing to listen in my pastime. Like it's so good because it just like I really like when people reimagine albums.

I listened to the album too, but just.

Except when I go to a concert instruments. Except when I go to a concert and I want to hear the song in its entirety, and then they make this like weird, shitty version of it that no one in the audience knows of their most famous song, and I'm like, you can do that. I'm like, some people can get away with that. Do she can get away with that?

Travis Scott, No, I say, Drake doing that was there. That's when we should have known.

It was like it was time to back it up, because what do you mean You're performing your hit song and now you think you can sing? Like We've always let you get away with a little bit of the singing, but now it's like, like.

Giv you're boring, Bye bye bruh, bully Boy.

But yeah, the Grammys were such a knight for the girl Sabrina's performance.

Everyone was good chapel like dah da da you already know, like.

You everyone knows. It was like the best Grammys ever. Was so fan servicey in the best way. Like, I don't think anybody left angry. Billie Eilish, I felt was snubbed in a couple of weeks that made me really which I was upset about and like, but I think people thought she was crying that she didn't win Album of the Year, but I think she was crying for Beyonce because Beyond.

Had never won that.

Yeah, and like it was very.

Beyonce is thirty five fucking grund. Yeah, but no, winning Album of the Year is a huge thing.

Yeah.

Oh.

I also signed up to get a pre sale access to her new tour. Yeah my god, Yeah, she's coming to LA for like four nights.

I was gonna say, because she has so many but them always snubbing her of Album of the years crazy.

And I when I first saw her reaction, like to winning country album, I was like, I think she's like playing it up a little bit, But then I really was like, oh no, she genuinely did not think.

Because imagine how many years she went thinking.

Also for country album like yeah it is, That's tea Chapel, like killed it always she's that girl, Sabrina. I really really liked her performance. I think it's so fun to not take yourself as serious. Like if Gaga smiled a little bit more and more less makeup.

Y, she'd hair up and like sweatpants, she'd be way hard any of the pop girls, can you start just like wearing sweatpants, throwing your hair up in a bun and like no makeup, don't give a fuck. Yeah, but we we need the pop girls. I know that it feels like we are being banished to uh the basement for all the fun we had with the pop girls last year, but all to pick it back up, please please, because like you said it perfectly, I think we took for grant like last year for media in general, but

Like?

Why has Rihanna not released an album?

I honestly I can lie.

I wanted to say that way because I kind of love an artist ending on such.

A high way. You know what's actually interesting is Rihanna took a page out of my book, not releasing an album and constantly teasing it all the time. Which your emoji. Yeah, she jacked my swag Loki. Also the lady I got Bruno Bruno Mars song it was the.

World was ending.

I want to be next to.

Wait.

Also me singing bags by Clara going absolutely fucking viral everywhere.

That was what you were saying. I couldn't even tell. I couldn't even tell what this was.

You ugly motherfucker. Oh my god, you ugly bitch.

No god, you look good in navy. You're like this zip up.

I mean you are quite literally just copying my vibe and you lean from head to toe.

Your you want to be sane jeans a zip hop.

Well, yeah, it's because I'm obsessed with you guys.

Sis we my packport literally says I'm from Webanu.

Webs a joke on Twitter what you made Webanosis up? It was it was we Beenusis and then you like said like I'm from Webanusis or something like that, and like it like became culturely. It wasn't a thing until you said we No. I swear to God because I remember.

It's too easy, because remember when that was flooding comments like okay, like what am I gonna look at.

Webanusas like noted overdosed on webanoss.

I can't wait to smoke a webs after this.

Yeah, it's gonna hit so fat.

Well, well, I think what would really bring us together? Another stuff we need high time?

Also a scary movie for a step we've had like eight million top to the hand.

Oh yeah, Like I want to write a parody movie.

We saw that one scary movie together Queer. Oh scary?

Why was it scary for you? Guy? It was a horror movie. It was a horror movie for me.

It is scary to go and see yourself.

For the part I was going to say, it was a really really scary movie for me. I'm not kidding, Like I really walked out of there and it made me think a lot of really scary thoughts. How I am an evil person and I'm going to be alone forever because I've been both sides and I have a lot of bad karma.

I see glass, can you from both sides?

Can you fix this?

Than you?

That was me singing Mitchell And if you guys were wondering what I've been, I think it's just on the side I've been thinking at and I think I want to make some videos where I'm kind of just like talk to the camera and get a bit more personal. But I'm having a part time doing it because i just feel like that's it's a bit embarrassing to get on camera and just talk to but maybe that's like not the way I should be viewing it.

Okay, we we just wrapped it, but you haven't seen the movie, so it won't make sense to you, but it'll it'll hit.

But fucking I said, I'm gon, at least she has tastes in something, because the belt.

Is good, making you say one more time.

I said Kyle's belt was nice, and then he said it's his ex girlfriends and I said, at least he's got taste in something.

Wait one more.

Time, A joke, like my ex girlfriend is really hot and she we could.

Cut that out, we could come, we can leave it in. I think that's Coolin she is a baddie.

I know she is.

She's like she's girl trade, No, she is. She's literally like, no, it's so fucked up. Kay pulls the baddest bitches.

Actually, all of our friends have girlfriends who if left in the room alone with me, I would be really awkward.

I would just be really scared, like I actually I wouldn't do anything, but I'd be.

Like, what if we did do something?

Oh, my girl thinking about something the other night, that's like really freaky.

What did juice over?

It was so freaky? I would finish up.

No, I can't say what did you say? Though? You said something weird?

I said, my girlfriend is so slutty.

Just for you, babe, true should be into media.

Yeah, well, I just want to say about Look the movie. I know it wasn't a horror movie. I'm not homophobic. It was a scary experience for me because me Drew was like, we're sitting together.

Kai Kai invited me to go see Queer No alone me and him.

No, he tricked me. He was like, we're gonna go see a cool straight movie. We're gonna see Wolf of Wall Street. It's back in theaters. We walk into that ship. It's a movie called Queer, and I'm freaking out.

I'm sweating where I'm in way really really close.

And then he's like, oh, by the way, you can have as much popcorn as you want. But he puts it on his dick, and so every time I had to grab it and then he would wink at me.

It was weird.

Well, you kept getting closer.

Yeah, that's the way y'all like play or joke with each other. So I really can't I can imagine like all of that.

No, that's literally like we were doing all of that as a bit. But no, Kai inviting me to go see Queer is crazy. First of all, I love Luke. No, it was okay. My my take on the movie.

Was right.

No, it was awesome. It was a good vibe. Then, like, I do think it is really good for gay men to go see because it is really eye opening in a lot of ways, specifically younger gay inn Also it's really good for older gay men to see, to be like, oh, this experience that I'm experienced is like universal because it's not talked about in the gay community. At all, but just don't be a dickhead period. That's it.

I need to see it really bad. I'm like late on the movies.

I literally I was the last human on the planet's you know sparaw too.

That shit was empty as fog.

Kay clock did It's tea so bad though, like in a good way. He was like, it's what.

Bose Afraid?

Yeah? Yeah, what what'd you say?

It was like the gay version of bos Afraid.

Like the good version. You said, it's the good version of bos good version, yeah, but also the gay version.

I liked it a lot more than bos Afraid, but it feel it feels like a similar type movie.

I need to watch it.

It was really really weird for him to do like random yeah, like for Luca to like put out speaking of Luca, like actually, I don't even know if they can talk about it.

The trade, the like Lakers trade.

Y'all, y'all the worst, the worst. I genuinely think that ruined my life. It like literally ruined my life, and I contemplated suicide. I've never cried in my life before, and I cried over the Luca trade. He was supposed to do in life. Yeah, he was supposed to be a Maverick for the rest of my goddamn life, because I'm planning on dying at thirty five. He was supposed to be at the Mavericks well the rest of my life playing basketball. Yeah, he didn't want to leave. He didn't.

As thought it was.

Yeah, yeah, that's their reason. Is Like, the real reason is, I don't think they wanted to sign him to the supermax contract, which is if you stay with the team that drafted you, like the franchise that drafted you, for a certain amount of years, you're eligible for a supermax if you're good enough. And he's a top three player in the fucking league.

Oh my god.

It literally upsets me so bad, which means he would have been eligible next year for a three hundred and sixty five million dollar contract, which is the biggest in NBA history. And their quote unquote concerns where that he his conditioning was like not up to par. But I did find out that they uh said he had a wrist injury to the public, but in reality, he had eleven days to lose weight and he didn't lose weight. So then they were like, girl, fuck you, we're trading you.

That didn't sound like a real sentence.

I'm a full time sounded like.

Yeah, this is that sounded like emojis.

Yeah, I'm a full time Spurs fan. H Now, I used to split my time between the Spurs and the Mavericks, and I was really a Mavericks fan, like because I grew up with Dirk and all of my passwords to everything where Nowitzki forty five love Dirk. They were about to become don Shake seventy seven, but they traded him away, and now really what I hope happens is a meteor strikes the arena and kills everybody inside because they backstabbed

You don't know him. You're always saying, we have a game tonight, we have a game.

He is never like, no, he is. He lives in La now and he's fine.

Shit, So you think you're gonna pull him.

I could pull him, I really could. I think he's low key gay as fuck. Not actually, but there is. There's a bunch of gay NBA players.

I mean, yeah, well, yeah.

Well I guess I know of a few, and I've actually talked to one on FaceTime before I scared the shit out of her walking by. But no, I really have talked to a very very very very very very very famous like one of the goats on FaceTime with my buddy Drew. It was two Drew's on FaceTime, and I have a screenshot of it because I was like so gagged by it, because I was.

Like, yeah, I guess I never realized what a big deal that was for you.

But like, I guess, basketball, like sports to me, it genuinely doesn't exist. That's something that doesn't exist until I see it, Like if no one ever mentioned a sport to me ever again, other than maybe like soccer.

Because I see a ball, I'm kicking it. It's called I see a ball on the floor and I'm kicking it.

It's called football.

Babe, Get into your media right the fuck now, I'm not done talking about Luca.

Is your heart beating, No, my stomach is.

Actually your heart is beating. That was a trick question. Oh that good lighting looks awful.

Yeah, it's really really scary. But Luca, my glorious king, I'm sorry they did you like that. Just know that I'm here for you. I'm happy that you're in a large market team. Oh my god. I didn't even get into the worst part his contract. Three hundred and sixty four million dollars. He got traded. He's not eligible for the Supermax anymore. Now. The largest contract he can get is two hundred and twenty nine million. So he lost one hundred million dollars on that trade, which is like, Okay,

But if you yeah, but I guess if you've been anticipated, and like staying with the team obviously because you like love the team, but also because you've dedicated your time there, you like.

Want that exactly.

Also, like especially if somebody told me I was gonna get that, don't play with me, Like literally, your stomach.

Is it's twirking, but I am.

I bet, thank you.

And he also has to pay fifteen percent state income tax. Oh my god. I just feel so bad for him. And I hate the Mavericks and I hope they all die. And I hope fucking Anthony Davis, who's made out of literally pulled pork because he fucking like breaks a ligam in every two seconds. They're all geriatric. They're literally all old as fuck. They're old fucking bags. Fuck the Mavericks. They're all.

I'll say that about freeda callo bro, Like, wait what you said Anthony Davis?

Oh eyebrowts.

Yeah.

I literally I only know who Anthony Davis is because of that screenshot from like I think two people on omegle or like twitch and this girl had a picture of free to Call it in the back or like vice versa. But one of them was like, oh, that's free to Call or that's Anthony Davis. I think the guy was like, Anthony Davis is behind you, and she was like, what, that's Freda Cayle.

One of the first gifts I've ever seen was Anthony Davis and his unibrow breaking off his head and turning into an eagle and flying away because.

He did have people made fun of it so bad.

She gets also, he.

Don't get it twisted. I love you, Freda. That's me to.

Also don't get it twisted. I love Anthony Davis and his run in college. He was probably the greatest college freshman of all time. But he is going to die.

Dude. Viewership has knocked off, like this is insane.

How nice I was? Guys, I'm a really nice friend. I just let that happen.

That was for the three gay men that actually listened.

To not even straight.

Yeah, they're all gay, because.

There's I don't know if straight men make it this far into an episode, does that make sense? Like I feel like they kind of watch so that they can tell the pretty girl or guy they're talking to. I guess they wouldn't be straight guys. I can't really imagine. I just can't imagine a straight guy watching this, Like I really, I can't picture him, just like there are straight guys that watch it.

What are you eating?

Oh well, you couldn't imagine it. One of the hosts is a fucking straight guy, not Kai.

I'm not a host.

Yeah, that was gonna sayah when on your toes period?

Yes? Wait?

Why am I so lightheaded? I think it's because I just talked for forty I like stemmed out.

And man's plain for forty minutes.

I know, literally, I like really lost consciousness, y'all. People want to say I don't know ball. Actually, no one's ever said that, and they're the fact that I know a little bit of basketball blows everyone's fucking mind every single fucking time I talk about it.

But because people are homophobia, I know.

Literally, it's literally Trey the Hello Queen and I'm trade, Oh, boyfriend, I'm nervous. What say hydrated?

Hi?

Hydrated?

You all know that video?

I don't.

It's Addison saying someone's like, oh, you're staying hydrated and she's like hi, He's like what She's like hydrated? Literally one of the greatest videos all of all time. Boyfriend, I'm nervous?

What is that?

Also? Addison Ray, are you kidding me.

I didn't know that.

I want a time. How attractive am I.

Boyfriend?

I'm nervous? Then she she's she's really my goal.

I want to see the hydrated.

No, she is like top time, like she's also a super Max contract.

No, she's She's going to go on a generational run this year, unlike anything we've ever seen. When she drops her goddamn album, it's going to change lives, specifically hers. She's gonna be taken seriously, more seriously as an artist. Like I really do think she's about to, like, like really really tap in in a very big way because she's like a she's a student of fucking pop like she's she also got that one fucking producer and writer that wrote all of Britney fucking Spears's hits to write

Can I feature on a song piece?

Yeah, Edison, can we feature? And actually I will literally just whistle. Actually I'm supposed to be whistling on Clara's album. I'll clap on your album. Dare not tell you about that. Clara wants me to wisten there's no way.

I'm sure she actually saw you singing her song and check because I saw she blocked you.

That's all she like you guys.

No, Actually, if you go to one of your posts, wait, who the fuck was that? My man?

Okay, well, my media of the week Travis Scott.

Honestly, just wait, what's the album by Steve Lacy, Gemini or Gemini rights Gemini's rise, I don't know.

Hi, I love her, you know what it is?

She like her and your mom have such a similar like very specific to like southern women sweetness. Like it's it's that same kind of like just kind of like huh what but is actually smart?

Yeah, she's she's so sick, she's about to change life.

I guess that's like my mom too. My mom's a little ditsy. I love my mom. I'm very bullish.

I'm very bullish on Addison Ray boyfriend.

Okay, my media of the week is Sunday Best by Bobby Gentry.

As I you say that, I don't know, and honestly, Gemini writes by Steve Lacy, I've been listening to that album again and like, I actually can't believe that that album came out almost three years ago, because in my head that album still came out last year.

Well, my.

No, I won't. That's embarrassing my media. You're gonna be pissed but out of touch. Darryl Hall and John.

Oates, Oh Club Chop of Cana by Wham, That's what I.

Was listening to.

Something in the car that was so goaded, but I can't remember what it was. I listened to it over and over again. I can't remember. But Drew sayof lest we forget, tapeworms are nature's ozimbic.

I mean, yeah, I remember I met a kid in fifth grade who had a tape worm and I was so fucking terrified. We like it was one of the friends whose house we went over to, and I obviously didn't know how tapeworms worked, but he, like the mom, was talking about it to my mom. And I heard that and I was like, holy shit. And I became hyper fixated on tapeworms for the next like five months. Every time I got to a computer with Google working, I would look up tapeworms and see what they look like.

I used to want to tape. Wait RFK literally does have tapeworms in it.

I want RFK to fucking burn in a fire.

That the sawdou Car Champ from Dune the worms in his brain chanting for him to lower the cooked meat temperature so tapeworms can form in annihilate the human race.

Oh my god, god, no, no, okay, wait, let me find my sye ops real quick.

I had a nightmare. Young ma was twerking. Is it gay for a man to wear a big T shirt to bed with no draws on? Yes?

Eh, I do not want your penis to peek out from under your fuckation. I know ewa, Oh my god, bruh, like such an animatonic failure.

Animatonic Yes, yes, right, that's a universally bad look with a long shirt and no pants on.

That's a bad look. No one's pulling that off except maybe Drew. Drew could pull that off.

No, he could not.

I could easily, what I literally could.

You would need the longest shirt in the world because your penis is so long.

Oh yeah, I forget about that.

You need a momo you we.

That is one of my favorite videos of you, like like dipping down with the purse.

Dude, it's so gross.

That is beard such a dense beard.

I know, it's so crazy. Let's read this one.

You sounded like not at all.

Y'all need to start sending me more fucking sys like damn, Like, holy shit.

I'm sad at me for rushing him, and y'all really are.

We also get like three hundred a day.

He's like, y'all be the wait in the which email?

The official one?

I don't ever, I don't have access to that email. They just send him to my business email.

No, dude, that email is ran through with that.

I've literally never known that that email is like completely overtaken by high Op. Bro.

There's definitely some motherfucker out there who's like, broh, the code is you send it to truth Personal.

Yeah, you just leaked that ship. Okay, whatever you get what you're getting. You don't throw a fit. Suck my dick. Wait I

Bye,