Oh my god, we have hurt so bad right.
Now, mind fucking too. I'm on my god damn period. I have a flight to Paris in an hour.
You can't get on a flight. You're not allowed to get.
On at the whole cabin the stink, and also my ovaries will explode from the pressure and like the uterine lining will splat against the screen. Like whatever. We have a flight to Paris because we're so booked and busy, and every brand wants to work with us, and it's so lovely and we're so important to the culture that they're putting us an economy on a flight, so it's like next to the literally, and it's just really important to us that, like we are.
We're not sitting next to each other.
I know, it's crazy.
We should when we get there, we should see if we can sit next to each other because I want to sit next to my bed, because last time we went to Paris, we didn't sit next to each other. That flight, I sat next to like two sisters who I think were like German, and I remember I was like, wow, they're like literally speaking German, leaving La to go to Paris, which shouldn't be that shocking because they probably had a
fucking layover. And I'm just dumb, but I was like, wow, the world is so like intersected, Like they live in la and they're also going to Paris, which is like in Europe, so they could literally just like go back
home if they wanted. Well, we started a show called milf Manor and if you do not, if you don't know what that show is, please this is the second time we are gonna be recommending media where it's like so insane and I actually don't believe anyone under like twenty one years of brain function should be watching a
show like this. Genuinely, I believe that. But if you haven't seen it and you don't know what it is, do not look it up and start watching it because it is the most insane thing ever, and Discovery Channel someone needs to take away.
All their There's a twist to it that don't look up the twist literally, just go into it completely raw and watch the first episode, wait until like a little past halfway and you'll find out really what's going on. And it's the craziest shit ever. It should not exist. Literally, it's so fucking weird, it's dangerous.
And it's tampering with God.
It's really fucking weird, but it is so addicting to watch. And you can watch all episodes that are out in the same day because it's brain dead entertainment.
Oh my god, that's literally what we did, like watched all five episodes. There's a new episode out today and I'm literally ran.
Outside because it was rain showers and there was a rainbow and we played in the rain.
And it was fucking gorgeous. So basically what we were doing is we were doing the opposite of what God wants us to do, which is watching a show that is literally playing with fire and disgusting, but it is so insane that you have to wash. And then we did exactly what God wanted, which was it was gorgeous aust side. So we went outside and we played around, and Josiah went outside barefoot and he did not wash his feet.
No, no, yea. He came in and actually watched it because I made fun of him because I was like, it's one thing to do this in like the country or like, yeahhowa not an inner city, but you are literally running around on glass covered hepatitis B infected streets like you need to wash your feet please, and it's disgusting. And he tracked his dirty feet into our house and into the floor of our shower, and it probably got into all my wounds when I and all my orifices when I bathe.
Sometimes before I take a bath, like I'll like wash out the bottom of the top because I get really scared. Yeah, I'm like, hmm, this is scary. If I don't shower right before, I'm like, I need to do it. When I shower, use my feet and I like rub.
There's like body hairs and I don't even want to like look into what part of the body they came from. Always on the floor of the shower, And I'm so good about washing mine down because I'm like, I don't want people to see my fucking, disgusting leg hairs and nasty, fucking giant. I have fourteen inch pubes and I just washed them down like after it's Oh, I.
Thought it was your hair. That's why I like when I see I play with it.
And I like, you're playing with my pubes.
Oh my god, Yeah, they are very strong.
Oh my fucking god. I can't. I cannot believe I forgot about this shower.
I thought you were gonna say it, but I was like, you're being so nice.
I cleaned the shower drain yesterday because for the second time in like two months, like, it clogged so fucking fast, which.
You would think, Oh, we just live in an old building, maybe that's what it is.
Well, I went in there and I was like, oh, maybe I just need to put draina down there. No, it was so clogged from the sheer amount of build up from hair and other bodily liquids that we just said in the last episode that we don't like saying the word, but I'm sure you can assume what it is. Not mine, I don't know who the fux it is it's And I pulled it out and it was like a clump. It was a lie. It was literally alive.
It was like a clump that was this long, and the odor that filled the room was like vile and it was all over my fingers. And I put it in the trash can because I was like, I can't flush this, It's gonna get clogged. It was so much so it's sitting in the trash can in there right now and it was dissgusting.
We're building biohazard because also my fucking old, stinky pads are in there, so we're literally gonna come back to the house like being like, no.
We're creating a monculous You know what houlus is. It's where dudes put their semen inside of an egg and it creates a little creature. It's like a cryptid. Yeah, and some of them grow. Probably we should try it, but we're creating that with the with.
My pads, My pads and the old comb four year old is actually probably the most disgusting thing we've said on this podcast. Yeah, because Scott like actually just made me stick to my fucking stomach.
H Sorry, that's just the way it is. But yeah, that's absolutely vile. We live are friends that come in and out of this house, nasty people, nasty they.
Hate us, and then sometimes we have visitors and it's just.
Yeah, last night we had one of the craziest encounters of our entire life.
I think it is literally so funny.
We're not going to name this person, but just know they're an uber celebrity, one of the most famous people you've ever seen met in your life, and they hit up India and was like, yo, I need a place to stay, like really badly, like I need somewhere to stay. And then he was like okay.
I literally my first time was like damn, damn, damn, because it was so late and I was like I can't make it. I was like, I can't make these kind of decisions, Like I live with people. They'll wake up to another person in this house and be like the fuck did you do last night? Like where were you? Why is this person here? And I was just like, well, fuck, but I am an angel, literally like oh my god, I am a fucking angel sent from God, like genuinely I am. So I'm just like a really good person.
You can just like like set grudges aside, like.
I think, okay, so what I need is somebody to make an edit of me and like make it like best right now? Yeah they are, but I got hit up way early. So basically it's like five am. I had said yes to this person coming and like crashing for the night, and I was like, oh, well, now what no one I know is awake, Drew's not awake, Josh isn't here. I don't want this person sle be in the living room. I want to throw them in
Josh's room. So I called Josh first, and I like, Josh doesn't sleep, but he just wasn't home, and I call him and I tell him and he's cracking the fuck up because he cannot believe what's happening. And we're just on the phone for like twenty minutes, and then he was like, does Drew know? And I go, no, because Drew's asleep because it's five am and he sleeps at fucking eight pm because he's actually old.
And I was getting ready to wake up.
Yeah I know, which is also why I didn't feel too bad about like waking up, because I was like, his wake up time is literally in forty minutes. But I felt really bad doing it because I knew you were gonna have trouble falling back asleep.
It scared the fock out of me when you woke me up.
I was like, it's like, I know, you were literally so scared. You were like this, and then I told you and you were like, what no, what?
No? I could I really could not believe it. I genuinely thought that was king that is so confised. It was really jarring and scary. But then it became the funniest thing I think we've ever experienced in our entire life. At five forty in the morning and basically this person came over, but before they came over me and you were like freaking out, like what if like blah blah blah happens, Like what if they do this? Like why
is this happening? This is so weird. I can't believe this is happening, just like gossiping about it.
And then it was so funny because and I was like stay up. I was like, you need to stay up, and then Drew was like that would be so weird if I was just awake, yeah, which is true. But I didn't want to be alone.
With this alone because I was awake in the room because I was like, I'm going to listen to make sure nothing weird fucking happens or like any and I need the tea, like I need to be able to tell y'all what goes down, like I need this. Even though we happened like a huge idunity, there there are so many layers to this.
I know there is. It goes so deep, and I know people are going to be so fucking mad because it is so annoying to tell a story and leave out the main parts of it. But why it's so funny is basically, Drew fully and I got Drew so awake before. It took this person like almost forty minutes to get here. Also, and it took so long that in that time I got Drew, Like Drew was out of bed and walking around in the house with me,
and we were cracking up. We were literally like I hadn't laugh like that that night and so long because we were giggling like little kids. It was so funny.
This person gets here. I'm listening to the entire conversation. It's really interesting. It's really weird.
For me.
I can't believe it's going down. It's hilarious. I'm literally in my bed cracking up that this is actually happening and going down in my house right now. And they just come in with their luggage and put it on the floor of Josh's bedroom, get ready for bed, and that's pretty much it.
Yeah, like a quick encounter for the most.
Yeah, very quick encounter. They like knew what they had to do, they knew it was like a kind of a weird request, and they just got what needed to be done done, sleep and getting ready for bed. But the funniest part about the entire fucking story is and you text me and she's like, can you hear this? What is that?
I heard that too?
Was it a little like, Oh no, it's like a piece of funk?
Oh no, I heard something outside. I thought that's what you're hear. I was like, I think it's a dog.
No. But in you text me ands like can you hear this? And I'm like, no, I can't really hear anything. And then she plays the caveman scream like over her my home pod, like just loud as fun, and you can hear it clearly a fucking day, Like it's like it sounds like it's resonating in my room. And I start dying laughing because like, the dude that's staying here
has no idea that we're doing this. And the reason they left the place they're staying at is because they were horrified of their Airbnb, which we'll get into, Yeah, more horror stories from Airbnb if you'd like. And we just started trolling that.
Which is so mean because this person probably just got like ptsd'd out because they basically had a barbarian incident happened to them and we just ignored that because it was too funny.
And we started playing horror movies like we started.
I just like from like basically muffled but very clear.
You could hear that video of it. The other one like this is the funniest thing ever. Let me record this because like I can't believe this is so loud, Like how are you doing that? And then so she plays this sound.
Which I didn't mean for this one to play. Basically, what was happening on my end is me and you were texting and we're literally sending each other audio messages of us cracking up, like I am laughing, probably the loudest I've laughed in a long time. And I felt really bad because I was like, I hope this person doesn't like hear us laughing, and like thinking, we're like, oh my god, this is so embarrassing for them or whatever exactly.
But I'm laying in bed and I'm sharing a wall with this person, so I'm like freaking out and I'm like sobbing, real tears on my face, and.
You sent me of you it's like still the funniest trivia I've ever.
Seen in my I'm trying so hard not to laugh out loud, but like I I've never laughed like this, like ever in my life. And then in YOUA plays this sound and I get a video of it.
Oh wait, it's this, so basically.
Just play play no playing and played into like this and I recorded, and I'm like, what the fuck was that? Was that? Like a crying baby? Like he was why did.
Play that one? We were not play that one?
But what was happening on my endaughing. I'm screaming laughing at.
This point, but I'm happening on my end is my fucking phone wasn't connecting to my home pod for some of the sounds. So I was like, I need to find a new one because like, I want to keep doing this because I don't want this to fall asleep before we keep flip so evil because it's like six a m and like, and I kept scrolling through them and I accidentally be that and it literally made me laugh so fucking hard waiting hear what I just said.
That one is not connected. I don't know why I said that, but I was like, I wish we could. We'll put that video here because this video has been making the weekend dancing has been making me laugh for
days now. I don't know why they're so funny to me, but this one cracked me up when I saw not TikTok, and I was like, damn, imagine we could like somehow projector map that into that room and like, like my dream right now, it's just like that person like laying down and then like he like feeling like light shine through their lids and they wake up and it's just like a big thing of the weekend dancing.
The worst dance we've ever seen in our life. But yeah, so we troll this person all night until six am. I stay up really late on accident because I'm basically already awake. Oh yeah, play that again.
You're like, don't do it again, and I kept doing it.
Yeah, And then the next morning it's like eleven am and they wake up and literally nothing is said about it. We don't say anything about it, and they move on with their life.
Yeah, they just they got up and left. They did exactly what they needed to do exactly, which was just like sleep somewhere because it was fucking five am and I was the only person awake.
Basically, we're thinking about rinting Josh's room out on Airbnb. Because I think we would be better airbnb hosts than of eight airbnbs that are on the market right now, because for some reason, we attract negativity and violence when it comes to airbnbs and violence stories. It starts with when we were first coming to Los Angeles A Buns, A Buns and we get this airbnb for ten days. Uh, and it yeah, it's got like ten years. It's like
probably the longest I've been away from home. But anyways, we get there and it's like Airbnb to fied the fuck out, like gray walls, ikea furniture, like weird paintings that I don't know if they actually exist or it's like an alien is projecting them onto the wall. Like I do not know where those like red bubble paintings come from, but they're all over the walls.
And uh.
We get there and we're staying for a couple of days, and then Ya realizes she has bites all over her, but she doesn't say anything because she's like kind of embarrassed, Yeah, because I'm like.
Why do I have little marks on my leg?
Yeah, And she doesn't really think anything of it. Hasn't really had an interaction of.
Eyes before I'm really sensitive to like dust mites, Like if a bed it like has dust in it, I will break out to like little hives and bites. Yeah, from that, So I that's why I thought it was. I was like, oh, that's so embarrassing, my eggs ma.
And then I'm sitting on the carpet and I start getting like in the living room, and I start getting bitten alive on my legs, hands and wrists, and I'm like, okay, this is literally not normal. So I like look at the carpet and I'm like, oh, nothing's wrong. And then i keep looking at it and it starts moving and I'm like, oh my god, I'm like hallucinating, like this is fucking crazy. And then I look a little bit closer and I realize that there's millions and millions of
fucking fleas in this carpet. This is twenty seventeen, twenty sixteen, and I freak the fuck out. I jump up and I'm like, in you, those bites are from fleas. We have flea bites all over us?
Now, No, no, no, like no, oh, there's no way, Like why would we just have fleas?
Yeah? And then I start panicking because I'm like, oh, like, we're gonna get limes diase. My dumb ass thought fleas and limes disease at the time we're correlated it ticks in lime disease. And I started spiraling on my phone thinking about limes of these disease. Enya's going throughout the entire house like trying to get to the bottom of this, like ripping sheets off afet, little black dots in the bed, and we're like, okay, evidence of flees in the bed,
evidence of flees in the carpet. Well, we moved to the backyard where there's an outdoor washing where I.
Was already washing my sheets because again I thought it was dust my so I was like, I'll just wash the sheets and move on with my fucking life. I go into the washer to pull this thing out, and it is a white sheet that is borderline black at.
The corner, literally all black.
Yeah, it was just like covered and fleas and I drop in.
We were like oh fuck no, and they're jumping out, like.
Yeah, they start jumping out onto us, and then we're running through the house and we have white socks on them, and we look down at our feet and our socks are basically covered in fleas and we're freaking out, and
then I called the airbnb host. This was I remember, this was the moment where we all realized that I was no longer like an angry child who is crazy, because I remember you made a comment and it actually made me feel so good that day where you were like, I am so shocked you were not screaming your head off and freaking the fuck out and yelling at this man, because I was like so calm, and I was like, this just sucks. We got to get it figured out.
And I found like the way getting to my sister's heart, like my girl's heart, Like I can make her feel good in ways she can't even distress. Actually I can't satisfy your sexually.
Yeah, I know we're still not there, but one day, hopefully with the right machinery.
With the jack camera maybe.
But that just reminded me of the I was.
Like, wait, what the fuck did you just say?
Did it reminded me of the tiktoks out?
You did not say that at all.
You said, sorry, I'm drunk, I'm really packing druk right now, my but at my my cramps right now, we're actually hurting and it's making me thing. My body right now is so unused to cramps that my body is convinced I have to ship.
Oh my god, our periods sin because I have cramps right now too. I can feel them in my shift.
It's just like, you can't let me have anything.
I know. I can't. I really can't I have I wish it was if I wish I wasn't this way.
Anyway reminded me of the TikTok sign, and I was like, I'm gonna need some WT forty and like something else, like do you know what I'm talking about. It's a streamer and whatever.
You're just like not in the loop and you don't induct tape.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But I called and then like, you made a good point of this the first time he tried to record this fucking episode.
But actually it was the third time.
Oh he scammed the fuck out of us. Because what should have happened is that.
Air I can advantage that when we were young. Yeah, that's really what I was at the.
Time, that Airbnb for us was so expensive, like that was I remember. I remember us booking that Airbnb and being like, well, fuck, like we.
Can't go shop at Round two now because we spent all of our money here.
Yeah, literally, and it was like, well, we're just that's our thing. We're going there to do that and then we're gonna like fucking eat French fries for dinner every day to survive French fries and alcohol. But he moved us. It was like a duplex. I remember. Remember at first he moved us into the side unit and we were like, there's still fucking fleas in here, because that place was covered in fleas too. It was a full flea infestation.
Like the entire house, even.
Though humans hadn't been in there the whole time we were there. And then he just got us to pack our bags, pay for our own uber to another location, to another Airbnb that sucked balls of his, and we just went and we just stayed and we didn't say anything. We were like, yeah, this is just it. And then I think like we ended up moving back to the other one, like cause he got somehow, oh he got it cleaned and like got it sprayed down and there were no more fleas.
So when he tried to light us and say, oh, there weren't fleas anywhere, and we were like no, look at these photos we have of the fleas.
Yeah. He was like, Oh, it wasn't even in station. It was just like a few look like it.
I was like, no, look at our ankles and wrists.
We know we're literally clever. Invites you feel good.
I just had like, sometimes, like a word reverberates in my head over and over again, and if I don't say it out loud, or if I don't mimic something someone else is saying it, will I melt?
Dude? I know that for like repeating what someone says to me, and it's so bad, Like why do I have the biggest urge when someone says something that I think is funny just repeating it back to that? No, it's or just like anytime they say something and I have nothing else to say.
If I don't get it out of my head, it feels like my brain is going to melt.
Also, Drew pointed out that we only speak in hype. What is it? What is it? How did you phrase it? When we were at the store and I was like, what would you do if I blah blah blah right now?
I don't know finally speak?
You were like, we we only speak in like hypotheticals and like real fictional hypotheticals to each other. When we're out in public and we're like running errands, all we.
Do is what if I did this or what if I this happened. Yeah, we don't actually ever communicate when we're in public because we're in like a constant state of bit where we're always trying to troll the people around us to like give them a story to tell.
And then a woman that day who we were doing that in front of had no reaction to the way we were acting and talking also bystander effect, no literally like we were genuinely fighting, and she said nothing to us, which she could probably. I mean we were in there for like thirty minutes, so she probably saw us being normal. She was like, bitch, I'm not letting.
These kids, not letting these kids truck me. But the other Airbnb you sixteen year olds troll me.
I'm not sixteen, I'm twenty four.
I'm sixteen. You why are you hanging out with a fucking twenty four? Why are you hanging out with a sixteen year old?
Because you're my fucking son. Bitch, I raised you.
Well all these bitches is my son's.
We're turning seventeen soon. How do you feel about that?
Honestly, were the good one step closer to being able to buy cigarettes? Two bad puff bars our band. But the craziest fucking thing that has ever literally ever happened to me happened to me yesterday.
I don't know how crazy it could be, because everything that happens to you is the craziest thing that's ever happened, the worst thing that's ever happened to him, the craziest thing that's ever happened to him, or the greatest thing that's alread happened to him, and it is yeah, okay, so yeah.
I go to the front door. You heard me talking to this man for like an hour, right, not an hour?
Wait when you came back with.
No I went down to the door. I spoke with him for fifteen minutes. It was yesterday. And do you want to know what he said to me? What he said it was it sounds like I'm fucking making this shit up. But he looked at me and he was like, yo, like if you if you show me your balls, I'll give you a puff bar. Apparently he had known that I quit. I don't know how you knew I quit, but I said no.
Yeah, but and you were good though. You were like ten days, like he went like ten days without a puff bar, which is like good, I know.
I am.
You're on day like.
Thirteen, I still am. Yeah, so I was just like you said no obviously.
Yeah okay, but you came back upstairs with no shirt.
On, so did he just like, well, I was getting my water bottle from Mason at the same time.
Oh okay, that's just suspicious that you were down there for so long and you didn't show him at your balls and you had no shirt when you came back up like yeah, okay, but you didn't show him your balls. No, still no puff bar.
Mhmm.
Okay. I'm proud of you.
Yeah. I haven't puffed in fifteen days.
And you and you kept your pride because you kept your balls in your pants for once. So that makes me.
Happy, which is honestly really hard for me.
Yeah, I know, sometimes they just like fall out. Yeah, well, I'm proud of you and your self control because that actually takes a lot. So I am really proud of you. Should I say. The other Airbnb story that got me like the worst review that actually made me.
This is the thing one with rats.
Yes, the yes, I fucking booked this airbnb because I was like, this is cute, Like I actually want to look at pictures, because that's what I did last time. Is like the other one. I was like, oh, I remember these airbnbs being super nice and being like, oh god, yes, this is everything, and then being like later on, where'd you get that they don't sell it? Oh my god, oh my god, you were disgusting.
It's not cheating. He just looked at them and played with them a little bit.
He'dn't even ask to fucking play with them, and you play with them. Oh nom done.
I can't with you anymore. I'm done. Oh So when I cheat, it's a problem, But when you don't cheat, it's not a problem.
Do you fucking hear yourself? Also, you think I don't cheat, I don't get caught. I cheat, bitch. See when the tables turn out to a big deal? Do you spit? Did it squirt in your mouth? It's squirting on you. So this other airbnb was in a fucking garage, and I was like, oh, this is cool. This is retro this is retrof Like, wow, so cool that he did this.
Wait, I wonder where it is October October.
Dude, looking back at the airbnbs we've stayed in. These airbnbs are fucking gross.
And we thought it was like ultra lux. Yeah, we were like, we're living the best life.
Dude, this is it. The photos make it look better than it.
It was like the photos, so it's actually really nice to this day.
Yeah, like the photos make it look really nice. But then when you get inside you realize, oh, this is actually just a man's garage. It's a sha Like it's literally this is fucked up. Like I did s here, like I made s happen here. Like that's like, that is the.
Magic of floor in the other room and the sleeping that sleeping a fucking sleeping bag with rats running all around this fuck And we knew there.
Were rats because again you're snooping. Skills kicked in and Drew was snooping around and he was like, there's a fucking rat trap up here. And I think it was you, me and Emma hanging out that day and we were like, there's a fucking rat trap. And we were all looking. We were like, there's there is a rat trap, Like what the fuck? But We didn't think anything of it because I was like, I got I got a few little buddies at home, Like that's not the biggest deal ever,
because I would assume it was just precautionary. No, there was fully a fucking rat in that airbnb. Because what ended up happening is Drew ended up leaving because he was there for a shorter time than me because I had business to take care of that was very important for me at the time. Yeah, I had lots of sex. There was lots of sex to be had for me in this this beautiful city, and I was there for longer and I had got just gotten this gorgeous vintage torture.
Now it's vince At the time, it was only like four or five years old, but it was a Lil Wayne Drake merch t shirt from when they went on when they went on tour together, and I had I had it laid across like the makeshift kitchen table counter they had. And at the time, that's when I was like vegetarian, I think, and I was like obsessed with just grabbing like cheese, crackers and avocados, and I would literally like scoop out avocado and like chomp and eat avocado.
And I left half of an avocado on the counter because I was like, I'm gonna eat that later. But then something happens where I just had to leave the house. I was like, oh my god, got ready quick, ran out of the house.
Always leave half avocados at or do you just forget about it? No?
I leave them out because I don't like putting them in the fridge for some reason, like I don't know why. I think it dries it out, and like that's my family does that. Like my family like leaves out, like they don't refrigerate cut onions and like avocados and stuff. They leave it like in the fruit basket at home. So I think I just do that because they did that, And I was like this is the way of life.
Oxidizer a little bit.
Yeah. Also, like I don't like cold avocado, like when I'm eating, like it's like too much for my teeth. And I'd rather have like a room temperature tomato too, Like I hate having tomatoes in the fridge because I when you go to eat, I'm like this is so cold. For what, Like you don't go to a restaurant and eat a cold tomato? On a fucking bagel, Like the tomato is never cold, it's room temperature. But that aside.
When I came back, I'm like on my phone. I look up and the avocado is bitting the fuck up and I was like, I know I didn't do that. And there was rat poop and fucking avocado turns all over this fucking Drake and Little Wayne shirt and I was just looking at it. I was like, that is fresh because I was just here and I just put the shirt down and that was not there, bitch. The fucking rat came ate my avocado and shit all over my new shirt, and I just freaked the fuck out.
I was like, fuck, no, I am not saying here. I had friends at the time, so I was like, I'm not even gonna say anything. I'm just gonna like contact Airbnb and then not say anything to the host. I contacted Airbnb and they were like, we can't do
anything about it. You need to talk to the host and like get a refund from them, and can basically tell me I needed to convince the airbnb host to give me a refund, and then the Airbnb host was like, no, I'm not giving you a fucking refund, like I don't have rats, even though I had a picture of the rat shit all over my goddamn shirt and his rat traps,
and he just wouldn't give me a refund. The Airbnb just like stayed empty until and I left my shirt there because I was like, I don't want my shirt now it's literally covered in rat piss and shit, I'm not gonna take that shirt anymore. And then he left me the nastiest review. He was like, she was so fucking dirty and disrespectful blah blah blah blah. And I didn't know that your replies on Airbnb to the host are public. And I said, wait, I want to look up my bad words.
And then while you're finding that, I one thing about me is I'm a snooper, Like, do not let me into your space, because I will learn everything I need to know about you by looking through your shit. Because like I can if you have a junk drawer versus if you don't, I can tell the type of person you are. I can tell by what's inside the drunk
drawer the type of person you are. I can look at your pills and vitamins and your prescriptions and know the type of person you are and what you get up to in your activities, your mental state, Like I can learn so much through something. I can find your tax documents and go through those, like don't let me into your space, because any Airbnb I've ever been in, I have ripped his shreds and gone through everything to find anything about this person, which is.
Good because it's like I need to know if the killer lives here, what if the killer owns this exactly exactly. But so also I'll read his review and then my review. Bitch, I'm gonna hit him. I'm gonna find him and hit him. So to the beginning of his review, he leaves a note about how I had a bad review before him, and the bad review before him was this fucking bitch who I stayed there with somebody I was seeing at the time. I didn't know anyone in LA at that time,
so I wasn't having fucking parties or anything. And in her review, in her thing, she was like, don't have parties, and we were like, cool, we don't have parties whatever. She claimed we had a party because we had red solo cups in the garbage can and she had messaged me and she was like, you threw a party, and I was like what, And then she was like, well, when I was going to take out the garbage, I saw a bunch of red solo cups and you left
a bunch of new ones there. And I was like, I left the new ones there just in case you wanted to like keep them, because I didn't want to throw them out. But I did throw a fucking party. I just didn't want.
To have to washhes alcohol.
Yeah, I literally I'm a child. I don't drink. But I was like, I just didn't want to wash dishes because airbnbs are fucking scams that make you do chores, and why the fuck would I want to wash dishes at an Airbnb. And I was like, no, we just get read solo cups. I don't know, just had a habit,
like that's just the cup we got. And she was like no, no, no, you had a party because I also saw two bottles of like wine or something, and I was like, I was staying there with someone for like a week and a half, that's not that crazy. And we just gone to an argument and then she was like it was so fucking dirty. She went against the house rules. I always say parties are not allowed, and I'm sure she did throw a party in my apartment. I fucking didn't, bitch. I went and watched Call Me
by Your Name and cried for three days. That's what I did in that apartment. So this is the review from the other person, and it was very messy and uncommunicative. As a guest, I had read of review stating that she left an Airbnb unit in a super messy state and asked her about it before I accepted her reservation. She assured me it was a weird set of circumstances and that I had nothing to worry about because it was I also set him fucking dms with the bitch.
That's why he let me stay there, because I was like, look at the dms. She was just mad that I used red solo cups convics at a party. I'm pretty sure I set him pictures of what I was doing in the airbnb, and I was like, I didn't do anything. I don't know anybody here, why would I throw a party. I'm also like eighteen, like I'm a girl, and he's like, I figured everybody deserves a second chance and gave her
the benefit of the doubt. She left garbage and personal items everywhere, moved things all over the unit and didn't put them back. What things was I moving, bitch? I didn't put your chair in the fucking front yard. What are you talking about. She didn't follow a single rule or a single one of my checkout instructions. The one I gave her a late checkout as a courtesy. I
wasn't there there. I literally wasn't there. She was also extremely uncommunicative, didn't reply to most of my messages or let me know when she would be leaving or arriving. I would not have any back my response, You had a fucking rat, asshole, That's what I said. Didn't realize, didn't realize that was on the front of my thing. And then I couldn't get an Airbnb until twenty twenty two. That was the next time I was able to fucking be accepted for an Airbnb because he up my review.
Yea and O'Ryan are the only ones that plan getaways with our friends because we're the only ones that have drive and ambition. So me and O'Ryan had the book the Airbn. It bes on our accounts for years between there because and you couldn't.
Yeah, I literally, anybody I want on a trip with, I'd be like, yeah, let's split it. But I can't put it on my card or my name because Airbnb will detect me and not let me fucking stand.
You know it's crazy is I booked an Airbnb in New York for all of our friends because we were like, oh, let's go to New York together. It was me and a few friends in India, and then I got covid. It was the year Playboy card. He dropped whole lot of red and it was right after Christmas, and I was like, Oh, that's gonna be so cute. Got covid, couldn't go. Everybody went to the Airbnb and stayed there.
But I got a horrific review on my account because someone dyed their fucking hair and my Airbnb on my account in staining the pillows, the bed, the towels, everything and turned them bright red. And I did feel bad for this lady and I did have to pay out of my fucking pocket for her to replace all these things. But I wasn't even there, and I got the bad review on my fucking account, which is so evil, and I had to take the fucking you.
Had to take that. You had to take it, and you took it like a champ. I remember there was an airbnb I used to stay in a lot when I came to la and it was like my favorite place to stay. And I became like, not friends, but kind of acquainted with the woman who owned the airbnb. Oh my god, this one drew.
Oh my god, why is this one?
This is the one which we should I'll start that start right.
Well, we'll talk about it in a different episode, because we talked a lot about pod airbnbs.
Well, this one's more of like a funny high story than anything. But yeah, I became friends with her, and that was the era where I was dying my hair a lot and I had stained a towel and she was really nice about it. She was like, hey, like, I love having you as a guest. I think actually this might have been the first time I stayed there, and she was still nice to me about it. She was like, hey, one of the I think I might have let her know. I was like, hey, just let
you know. I didn't realize this would happened, but one of your towels stay because I have red hair right now, I can pay it back and she was like, don't even she was like, don't worry about it, Like I'll just replace it. This kind of stuff happens all the time, like it's not that big of a deal, And I'm like, yes, that's not hotel etiquette where it's like, yes, I did spend so much fucking money you can afford a ten dollars fucking towel off Amazon, because no airbnb even carries good things.
Also, the morality of owning an airbnb is kind of twisted if you don't actively live in it. But that's a whole other conversation because there are there's.
Such a there's literally, yeah, the morality of it all, like there shouldn't be eight million airbnbs in Miami right now and making it literally impossible for someone like my family to get like an actual home, Like exactly, what's up with that? Do you feel good about that? You're literally landlord.
Two thousand dollars a month really worth keeping a family houseless? But whatever that's to you, that's up to you.
That's up to you to decide, you fucking freak. There's no way anybody who watches this on the airbb But if you do, like I'm sorry, like.
Don't think about it, don't fault me when I start my Airbnb landlord ark, I've been saying that, Yeah, I'm gonna get really religious and then I escape the matrix.
I saw someone kind of dissect the Andrew Tate like escaping the Matrix and all like his weird, fucking creepy followers that are like, I'm finally escaping the matrix, and it's them flaunting like having like supercars and staying in nice hotels and having a bunch of well, you know what they're not realizing the matrixes is capitalism and that they like before they escape the matrix, like being in the matrix is just like being like another cog in
the machine, and then escaping the matrix is like them having enough wealth where they don't have to play the rat race game capitalism and that we're all on the same team. It's just these people are stupid and decide to follow this dumb ass. But another conversation around another time.
That's something else. I do think we should say the highest.
Because it is so because when you framed you like that, it's really fun.
So last story of the episode, get your blanket, wrap.
Up, Surprised we were able to get this much time.
I know, like it was really hard. By the way, just keep that in mind, because I feel like nobody gives a fuck to listen to us for an hour anymore because you all hate us. But so to preface, we were saying with some friends who were going to like anime con and this wasn't a thought that like passed our brain. We didn't think anything of it. We were like, cool, yeah, we're down for that, and this was one of our last nights and me, you and our friend at the time were like, we need to
get high. We haven't gotten high this whole trip because you had to be twenty one. You have to be twenty one to get any edibles or weed, and like we didn't know anybody to buy weed from in La, so we were like, we need to get high. So we literally went do you remember the trek it was to get that weed. We went and hung out with like we were fucking maniacs. We went and hung out with like five different groups of people.
Praying of that you get hooked up would.
Because like I think at the time, like you could still already order it. So we were literally going around praying somebody would praying somebody would order us weed ya, And finally we came across some good hearted people.
Who was it?
It was. I can't remember her name, I know her face.
She was.
She was like one of Alexis friends, like one of Alexis close friends. And I can't remember her face for some reason, I can't remember her name, but I know her face. Like her face, she has such a distinct face. It's like actually kind of like scary, not in a bad way, like she's a gorgeous girl, but like the most face face person I could think of. Yeah, I
don't know how to describe it, but I remember. But remember we literally sat out by the pool with her for like an hour and a half waiting for this weed, like so fucking like literally.
Also, there was like a thing at the time where like you had to order a certain amount of weed and it was like one hundred bucks min home plus delivery fees. So we scrounged up the little bit of money we had left to buy one hundred and thirty dollars worth of weed, and we left.
Oh my god, it was literally we like we what we could have done with that money is go to a nice dinner for our last night there, but we ended up getting the worst pizza all fucking time because we spent all of ours because we spent all of our money on this weed. Also, you know, I just remembered. This was when all the Viners and everybody was living at the w so that's where we were because we had friends who lived there at the time, so that's where we were.
We went to Bryce Hall's house to see if he could to.
See yeah, to see if he would buy us. And no, I think that's literally who it was, because the girl I'm thinking of at the time was I think Bryce's assistant or something. She was friends with all those people. So we were literally in Bryce's apartment complex at one point, literally like looking around being.
Like instance all in seeing like a bunch of just like viners passed by us and be like, oh, that's who that is. It was literally so weird. It was like a college drum room for like viners and TikTokers and you hours and musers and all this shit. Yeah not sick talker, yeah, but musically.
But whatever. We literally wait around forever and by the time we get this, we'd like we're all like fucking like tapped out. I think we like we got it so late, Like I remember it was so late because our flight was super early.
We had already packed all of our bags, like yeah, meantime, like whatever. So we eventually get this. We deliver it's the most weed I've ever seen in my entire life. Like it's joints, it's edibles, it's edible drinks.
We heard joints. Like.
We got like the craziest weed we could buy because we needed to fill out that one hundred dollars thing, but we didn't want a super big surplus. But somehow we still ended up with so much weed, and we just proceeded to get absolutely obliterated, obliterated, obliterated, faded, and hope feaded, then hope faded then a hope like black out so high.
I don't remember, I Like, I know we had to have been watching something, and I remember our TV on, but I don't. I don't even remember what we were watching. Yeah, I don't remember what the fuck we were talking about.
I remember we after we ate that pizza, we proceeded to stab the pizza box a thousand times, Yeah, because we.
Had a knife close and like one of us just did it and we were like, dude, this feels so good, Like doing this feels so good because it was me.
It was me that was like, dude, y'all need to feel this, like.
And it did, because like stabbing cardboard is fun. But we looked insane. We're just all on the floor, high as fuck, like stabbing this box. So we're just hanging out. Then our friends who were staying with comes back, and we didn't know they were gonna be coming back with
a friend and they just came from anime con. So in our high brains, what we thought was happening was we were being introduced to somebody with like short hair and a mustache and then our friend and we were like, oh, hey, what's up, And like we all like shake hands and we're just like whatever, and they're eating in and out and like we like keep it's felt so and we keep looking back at like the one friend because like we were so high that their figure was like disoriented
at least something about them was like a little off, and we were like.
Energy and like we're all on the couch like looking at the same time, like in unison, and it's like very obvious, like we're not like nothing else.
Was on the TV anymore. We were sitting and like whispering, and we were like laugh off after literally who the fuck is that? Like what is that outfit? Like we literally because mind you, we had fully forgotten they came from anime. So in our head we were like, this person is dressed the craziest I've ever seen somebody on like a Thursday night dressed in my fucking line. And we were just like, who is this, Like why are they? Like they don't even sound the way they look like.
We were like, we were so confused, and we weren't crying up.
This is the craziest part of the story. This is the craziest part of the story. So this person walks in front of us and we all follow them like this to the bathroom, and they like now and said they're going to the bathroom, and they start like they spent like a really bathroom like it felt like thirty forty minutes, and we were like, what the fuck are they basically.
Now knowing what they were doing, they fully were in there for that long, but because we were so I literally like, dude, they're literally gonna kill us, Like.
Who is freak this out?
And our friend who was with them was just silent, like I don't even think, Like they realized that we were sitting and freaking out about the friend they brought, and we didn't want to say anything because we were like, that's so rude.
Exactly. They were want to kill us exactly. So then this person after forty five minutes, comes out of this fucking bathroom and is completely different, like long hair, long hair, colored hair, like new outfit, like everything in it, no mustache, no fucking sash, and no makeup on.
We were like, what the fuck.
Is We freaked the fuck out and we were like did this person just go into our bathroom and like come out a different person? What is fucking going on? We were like blackout high and like we were dying and the greening.
We were like, oh my god, like what the fuck? Like that person never existed. We made them up, like how did they look like? We all saw that they looked so different, And then our friend went into the bathroom. Also the friend is Michael, our friend who we were with, goes into the bathroom and comes out and he's like, dude, her mustache is off, like the mustache is on a towel. We were like and We were like, this motherfucker went in there and shaved.
Their mustache off off and put it back together on the towel. It was this funniest thing I have ever seen it.
Wait, and then it wasn't until the next day that we were like, dude, they were cosplaying, like they were literally in full blown cosplaying. We just like didn't realize that we could. We were so greened up. Yeah, that was so. We literally were like do they wiped off their fucking mustache, like shower mustache is just on the
floor And that was our That is so funny. That was like the equivalent to as funny as me thinking that I was burning alive when I went I was high for the first time under the heated live the lamps.
I didn't know that there were first like bonding moment.
Yeah, I didn't know that there were light bulbs that got hot. I've said this before, but I'll just say for anybody who doesn't know, the first time I got high was in like Colorado during the winter, and it was like me and Drew got high. It was the best time ever. And then I went back to my room to go shower, and I was like butt naked nasty brushing my teeth with the shower on, and I'm like sitting there brushing my teeth, standing there and I'm dude, the back of my neck is burning, like I'm like
literally on fire, Like I think I'm melting. I need to get in the shower, just like fucking lay down. Like it's so hot in here. I think because of the warm shower or whatever. I get in the shower, I'm still burning. I'd like, my body feels like it's literally having like fucking insane lasers pointed at it, and I'm melting away. And then I get in the shower and I'm over in soap and I'm like, oh my god, I think I'm gonna die, Like I'm actually burning to death.
What the fuck is happening? And I was so paranoid that I got out covered in soap and just laid butt naked on the bed and like fucking knocked out because I was so scared. And then the next morning, when I was walking around, I was like, bitch, the fucking lamps the bulbs are hot, like because I in the morning, I was like, dude, I'm still burning in here. And I realized, oh, they make light bulbs that radiate it huge.
But yeah, what did we throw on the Oh we were playing with pads.
Yeah, we were playing with pads and tampons.
So that's the podcast that we tried to record three times, and.
I'm so happy that we were able to know.
And give you a product that was actually not that and pretty funny. But now for some media, Sanctuary by Arca. I'm just in honor of ARCA missing the ARCA content.
They missed the Oca concert last night. Well, by the time this comes out, it's like a week ago. But we couldn't go because we had we had to like just change our life around to go.
To Para sim by Arca and you're jerk new boys and after after after the after CFCF and then what did I watch? Watch milk manor now you look awful?
Oh okay, yeah, I'm never gonna smile again.
Thank god you have an ugly smile.
Wow. Well my media is, Oh, I need to watch the Sopranos. That's what I'm gonna download an episode on to watch on the plane. But we won't have time because we literally have to call a newborn in fifteen minutes, which is fucking crazy. My media of the Week is Poping My Collar by three six Mafia, I Am Trying to Break Your Heart by Wilco Real, Love Baby by Father John Misty, Fluffy, Toughs by Top two Twins, Where Did Our Love Go? The Supremes and.
Ha Near Me Ha Terrible.
Wow, and how could I forget? I'm starting my summer playlist. Favorite by Nicki Minaj, Cockiness and Love Song by Rihanna, Drinking My Cup Kirk Obangs, Bodies Jasmine Sullivan, One Thing a Mary. I don't know how to say her name, and I'm sorry. And that's the start of my summer playlist right now. I have a few other songs, but I'm really trying to think because right now, for the most part, that whole playlist is like throwback to being
in high school and middle school. Other than Bodies by Jazmine Sullivan because that's a new song, but that song is just so good and her her live performance of it, like that she did I forgot on what It's not Tiny Desk, but it's like one of those things.
Tiny Meat Gang, her Jasmine Sullivan's performance on Tiny Meat Gang.
Oh my god, Wow. I didn't think they could get her, but they did.
Huh wow wow.
But yeah, that's my media of the week and milk manner because I'm gonna be watching the new episode tonight and yeah, thank you guys so much. Oh yeah, we have to catch up on that.
Si and Spice. Honestly, we're sleepers and I was terrified for them, but they turned out to be amazing, And I think they were handed a short end of the stick because they're new drag queens, new age drag queens, and they just don't have the the uh respect yet for every other trait.
They definitely need to like step into the scene a little more. But I think that's with a lot of just like people in creative scenes all across the board, because people seem to forget that we had three years of complete isolation, so a lot of the new artists in every fucking creative field are not as in depth
as they used to be. Also, even before that, the Internet changed the way we communicate as people, and like, if you're from the eighties, you can't be mad that nobody is like in the streets running amock anymore, because like that's just not the way the life goes. But that's a different conversation. But yeah, I love them so much. I think if they did more shows and like really tweaked it up and like tweaked up their comedics skills too, and everything, all those ends because they serve they.
Weren't winners at all, Like, don't get me wrong. Then obviously we all know who's gonna win this season, Like it's not hard to see. We all know the top three of this season. But Sugar and Spice.
I just like them as I like.
I think they're cute.
I think also a twin duo on Drag Race was like so cool when they did their lip sync against each other, which if you haven't watched.
The producers were produced, I know that was.
So good and they made it like a whole little thing for themselves. But yeah, well, we literally have to run because we have to get on flight.
Peace and love mine, ey,