Tay. Guys, Honestly, we have like stuff to do for the rest of the week, and Drew, guys, even health for a few days. And I think I'm just gonna do this episode alone. It's actually kind of easy because I don't have like a nasty, disgusting, like futrid stench of a person just kind of in my space invading my like mindset and my thoughts, and I feel like we could just get on a deeper level. We could talk about periods and tampons and like ovaries and stuff. And Drew Drew.
Drewie, Okay, I did as I was.
When I heard it, I was like, there's no lay he fak fell. It sounded so real it hurts.
So fucking bad.
Dude.
No, well, I'm thinking of just starting this episode alone because like Drew has just been missing for a few days, and honestly, I'm about my business. I'm about my work. I don't just disappear and like go on vacation. He's probably on Grinder Island or something. I heard that's the thing now, So hi, guys, I'll just be here doing the episode alone, honestly, Drew, Yeah, yeah, I'm here. I mean, what the fuck is on your head.
I can see it's a ticket about Wegg.
What did you get?
Wait?
What is this?
What is this? We were in it? Though we were in it? Where are we doing it again?
We can't?
You're doing this well? I'm waiting on Drew to start. Actually I was gonna wait on Drew, but I'm not gonna wait on him. And I have something really important to say. I had a dream last night that I my sister cut my hair off and I had a fuck ass bob and bangs and it literally was like Dora And you know how I wear those like tiny shorts and shirts right now for the summer. I was literally wearing like Dora's colors, Like I had a pink shirt. True, true, I mean, what the fuck are you wearing?
It's a jumpsuit?
Did you?
Like?
Is that your new? Like? Is this a prison?
Yeah?
Can we get this going? Because I, like, I have ship to do after this, like I have I have to leave, I have to go, So can we like hurry the fuck up? Like what are you gonna ask me? So many fucking questions? Like damn Jesus fucking Christ, it's a fucking tinker Bell wig Because I know you're about to ask next, it's a tinker Bell wig. Okay, I know I look good, and I know I look good. Yeah, that's a lot. That is bold that I didn't pay for this ship. I fucking stole it.
Oh my god, did you get costeely? Is that were No? Is that why you're dressed like this?
Actually? I don't give a fuck anymore since it's the most viral fucking clip of all time. Apparently, fuck ABC News DFW. Count your fucking days because now because of you, I'm on the fucking run. I am the fugitive of the fucking law roll the clip.
Police in Oklahoma City are looking for this man. They say that he stole thousands of dollars of wigs from Disney on ice performers. If police released the surveillance video from Saturday. They say the theft happened at the Oklahoma State Fairgrounds. Officials are considering a cash reward in this case.
Are we gonna keep every time we try to do that? It's so scary?
Ruh? Okay and scene and scene or should we keep going? Should we just keep riding?
Yeah, let's just do a whole episode where it's just like it will switch seats and like tap and top out.
Time they fucked up giving me these uh things though, because it's like the perfect fidget. I was thinking like of making a fidget like this.
I don't know if that'll like.
Also, I'm fucking around. My arm hurts so bad. I genuinely think I have a bone contusion, Like genuinely it is swollen. Every time I like pinch with these fingers, it hurts so bad.
The period cramp simulator on there, it'll heal it.
Oh literally, Oh where is that? I'm just wondering, like where that is?
Want that ship? Okay, So that clip of the I robbing the fucking Disney on ice? Uh, whatever the fuck Disney on ice? Let's talk about that. I look problematic because like, why would Disney characters be doing meth in front of a bunch of kids? Like, actually, I've been thinking about that like that.
No, No, it's like ice skating, Like they're skating around in costumes.
Yeah. Ice skating is like another term for doing meth?
Is that actually what people say?
Yeah, they're like I'm going ice skating, Like, does anybody want to go ice skating? It's on grind.
I can't imagine anybody, Like meth is such a gnarly drug to me that I can't imagine anybody's being like casual about it, being like, yeah, I'm gonna go ice skating, like it's chill.
Number one drug you can't be casual on. But this is like my biggest fear coming true. I've said it several times on this podcast over the last three years, and my biggest one of my biggest fears is getting tried and going to a going to jail for a crime I didn't commit, and fuck all of y'all, literally fuck all of y'all.
The comments it's so funny because it's like, no, this is an actual crime and they're trying to find the person who did it. In the top four comments all have like ten thousand.
Twenty thousand likes, like Drew Phillips. That's Drew Phillips, Like they get him, Get him, mama.
Like whoever whoever is like running the social for like Daily Mail or whoever posted it probably was like, oh, that was like.
We got a new story. No, it was ABC News DFW, which is also very concerning because I am from the DFW area. I have an alibi. I have an alibi about not being in okac because it happened in Oklahoma. But all I imagine is like the people like going through the comments, like looking for tips in like literally five hundred comments with ten twenty thousand, thirty thousand likes, all saying it was me. So then they deep dive on my social media.
I'm just showing this was like when we were looking at it. The first video that showed up is.
This one, this time seeing the castle since COVID in a cry.
Like a Disney thing. And then if you look up Drew Philip, Drew Phillips, I think wig, I think comes up and it's me with that fucking hair, with the like half blonde, half whatever, dancing like a fucking psychopath tweaker and like yeah, like you know, they saw that shit and they were like, oh, he's actually fucking crazy, like he actually does this shit for real.
D That was my favorite thing to imagine is somebody looking into it and being like, Okay, this guy does like this. Oh my god, okay, I'm like deep diving. And you don't have any real pictures any like normal videos, like there's rarely any content of you just being a normal person. They probably were like yeah, this is this is the guy I wish you got contacted.
I know, I was like I was hyper refreshing my email, just like waiting for like the email to come through like for questioning or some shit.
But I would just love you on a news broadcast, like so they're saying your honor.
No literally no, I would go like full Andy Kaufman and like act like I did it, Like I would become a problem and I would waste everybody's time in resources.
It really doesn't have any normal photos because like I've had family members be like, oh, who do you do the podcast with? And I'll like show them your guys' Instagram and and he has like a bunch of like great photos and then I go to yours and it's like you with like no jaw basically or like no.
I always thinking about that the other day and the new picture I'm uploading soon. You know, I decided it's going up. It's going up, y'all.
You've made the decision.
It's going up, and I think it might go up either to day.
You put up the Walter White picture.
No, bitch, I love that one.
No one didn't get enough love, like I know, yah, Usually like screenshot and post that stuff, but like, why did nobody like that picture?
Because it's fucking rancid and repulsive.
Bitch, Like, did you like face app a beard and a smile.
Yeah? I faced at the whole thing like it's it was a Walter White filter, and then I faced app to smile on and then I like contorted my body and like held the camera outa.
Can we play Rya later and you like.
Have that, bitch, we will get no, Like y'all know what rayas Riya's like this if you don't know, is just like dating app for like celebrities and like famous people. But it's Hella ran through now, Like it's fucking bullshit and it's like so annoying. But we play a game called Raya where we go and we like make our profile as heinous and disgusting as possible, and then we just start fucking trolling all the celebrities on there and it's fun.
It's a good.
Yeah, it's fun. Like just people looking for love and then they see Walter White like dementor or whatever.
It did work though, because you met Timothy on there, right yeah.
Yeah, but they like ment.
I am drew the okay, but wait, wait, wait, I am Drew Phillips. Timothy is Timothy. We are two separate entities. I'm not Timothy's bay. Timothy's not my bay. We are just together and that's that. Like, but we can exist. We can exist with.
The word bay. So seriously, I'm not his banbe.
We can exist not my bait, like without ye.
And I see you as your own person. But it's just way more interesting when you're associated like that.
This fucking hurts, bro. I think I actually broke my bone.
Didn't I wish I saw how hard you fell.
Which I felt hard as fucking I.
Mean, I heard it it literally. At first, I was like, did he knock something over? That's what I thought, And I was like, but it was your big, big body hitting the floor.
I really think I'm big.
Really wait, I have to get this off my chest about my dream though, because seriously, I was saying.
Yeah, fuck Dora, it's uh, what's her nuts, Tinkerbell? You want to talk about Dora, bitch, let's talk about Disney Cat.
Wait. The thing is, I don't understand why he would steal those wigs because I don't think they're like good wins.
It's that RuPaul drag race like uh, drag queen crime syndicate, Like literally just like a drag queen stealing a bunch of wigs from Disney. Also literally like how are these worth? They said ten thousand dollars? There's no bitch. Y'all are lying, Like y'all are fucking lying like crazy, these are not ten thousand dollars.
Yeah you're wing This one looks crazy.
Well, no, this one's ten thousand.
Oh okay, you took the dude. It looks insane. I like, I'm kind of amazed by it, Like it's kind of beautiful. It like has a life of its own.
Yeah, it fits me really well too. It's too small for my fucking head. I think it's made for like toddlers or some shit.
Like did you get the cheapest one?
Yeah? I was twenty two bugs, but this all came together for fourteen. And there's a little.
Thing that Okay, this isn't like real, this is pure plastic.
Also there was like the it says convict on the back and it's like sticky, like it's not dried like it like I was peeling off, like it fell onto a piece of paper and it like ripped the piece of paper to shreds, so like there's like pieces of like paper.
Also, I instaccarted some groceries this morning and Drew had to answer the door to my.
I answered the door in this outfit. And also he was trying to hand me the girl. He had all three bags on his arm and he was like here, and I was like, what am I supposed to do? And so I started sliding No, I literally started sliding my arm under his and then I was like, wait, this is weirdest fuck. So I pulled my arm out and I was like here, wait, wait on was I go? And I like put my shit down and then I like went back and just grabbed them one by one.
But like he was like, what the fuck is going on in this house? He was a sweet guy though, sweet guy. But also they gave you muscles for free.
I know, they gave me clams, m tune box. They gave me some clams for my chowder, yeah, for my east infection my left hand.
Yeah. But I was saying, I don't know if I'm allergic to muscles, oysters or clams, but if they're muscles, I was like, should I intentionally eat muscles on the podcast today? To have an allergic reaction like.
That wouldn't be enjoyable for anybody, like not the viewers or us, Like you would just like start.
From it would go so viral. It would be like stupid fucking podcast influence er eats muscles to intentionally have an allergic reaction on camera for views. All publicity's good publicity, babe. All publicity is good publicity.
Well, in my dream, when my sister cut my hair, I literally couldn't stop crying. Everybody would just like, oh, you cut your hair, and I was like yeah, and then I started sobbing, and it was like in the dream. Also in the dream, I was like giving way too much props to myself because in my dream my hair was like up to here naturally and it got cut. I was like, oh my god, should cut off like twenty two inches of my hair? And I accidentally was dressed like Dora and everybody was making fun of me.
I was like, oh, Halloween came early.
Do you remember when you cut your pixie wig, I mean your your pixie cut and you cried dude?
Yeah? And I was projecting really hard because I was like ugly people, bitch, I looked really ugly yeah, it was that Paul was coming from inside the house.
Fucked it cooked.
I looked really gros.
No, you grew into it and it was cute when it was like the like.
Yeah, when it got a little longer. But when I first cut all my hair off, that was it was. That was a lot like I can't believe I fucking did.
That, which is kind like it was fine.
I would do it again if I was like thirty five. But also, I think your hair stops growing as fast the older you get, so maybe the train his saledom pass and I'll never do that because I'm so attached to my hair.
I realized you'll never cut your hair again. Yeah, you'll never. And I don't think you'll ever diet of color.
Yeah no.
That was such an insane art.
It's like not worth it. Also, I look back and I'm like, bro, give it up. Like bitches watched Scott Pilgrim Versus the World one time and.
They're like, wait, wait, okay, so apparently no, no, no, okay, okay, wow, I know apparently I just found this out last night. Harry Styles was a part of this band called One Direction before he was paid joke.
Before we started the podcast. You was like, I have a banger of a one direction joke for this episode. That was so apparently we have been manipulated because Harry Styles was originally in one direction. I I can't believe there are definitely kids who don't know that. So, like, because when you showed me that comment, so basically on a video of Harry, somebody was like, oh my god,
I just realized he was in one direction apparently. And at first I was like, that has to be a troll, like you're just saying that to say it, But then I remember that one direction started in like twenty twelve, and a lot of the kids on the internet are like born in two thousand times.
It's like us finding out. Well, I don't even know if that's a good example. Was justin Timberlake an n Sync? Yeah, it's like that, like the same.
Yeah. I guess we did know him as like a solo person and then it was like in Sync. But my mom was an in Sync fan, so I knew about in Sync when I was younger, and.
I don't give a fuck about any of that. I didn't give a fuck about them, especially especially the game one.
Oh, they do have one really good song that.
I like, who the fuck is Drew Starkey? Where did he come from? That's another siop? What is it? What has he done before?
Is that? I don't know who that is?
He's in Luca Guadalajara, I got a new movie. What is his name? Luca? Call me about your name?
I actually don't know how to pronounce it, to be honest.
Dango dango, fandango.
I really need to find this fucking song. I'm never gonna find it.
I might need stitches.
You you're so dramatic. Oh damn, what is this? Oh my god, there's a troll song from in Sync. They got the band back together.
We need to get the band back together to watch and.
It's literally called Troll's Band Together.
Yeah, we haven't had like a night in in a long time.
No, we haven't had like a proper sleepover with all our friends. So we do this thing like once a year every time the Trolls movies come out, our friend group gets together and does a sleepover and watches the Trolls movie together. And every time we have literally watched it and then like.
This is a feat This is a great movie. This is no way around remark perfect, perfect.
How I feel still about Spider Man Across the Spider Verse. Just in case anybody was wondering where I stand with that movie. I still really want to watch it again. I think I might watch it when we go to Arizona this week. That's kind of my tradition. It's when I'm on a plane I watch it because it just makes me happy.
I'm happy.
Do you all remember that nineteen?
Yes?
I but have you seen that fucking first of all? That nineteen was the og Drop Shipper, Like they were making anything stuff they ate. It is so insane because I remember being excited up until the age of like even fourteen fifteen, which really goes to show like how wow, like childish you are at fourteen fifteen. Even at fourteen fifteen, I remember looking at their channel and being like, fuck, I want something so fucking bad. And I remember when
I first got paid from a YouTube thing. I bought the like slime they sold, and I bought that irons Yeah, and I bought it, and I was so happy. Bitch. Those videos are literally just glorified commercials.
Oh.
They never made any video that was like actually funny or interesting. It was literally just commercial.
Do you remember the liquid glass bathtub. No, they like got like five hundred pounds of liquid glass crazy er ends putty and like put it in a bathtub and then got inside of it. And then when he was getting out, his uh, bathing stuits started falling off. And that was my sexual awakening. And ironically, I was like, wait, you're like.
Wait, why would it be really funny if that like fell.
Yeah, why I should it like come on the way off? You would?
Did you take a time code? Because I just moved my legs and I think my whole fucking the jaga, like.
But uh, I have such a funny story. So when I like fucked up my knee, my friends like didn't understand like how normal surgery was on like children, Like they thought I was like literally dying.
Yes, and there when my sister got her tonsils, remember when she was a kid, I thought she was gonna die.
Yeah.
I literally was like I'm losing my sister exact, I'm only seven, exactly, gonna be really hard.
And like one of my friends Hunter, he like literally thought I was dying. Like he freaked the fuck out, And we would like sit and watch vat nineteen videos all day long, like all like literally that was like our shit. We would do axe wars and like build like forts out of beds and just spray each other with axe all night and then wake up the next day and watch Fat nineteen videos. And so he thought I was dying. So he I had never gotten anything
for that nineteen. He'd really never got shipped from it because our parents were like, no, that's just fucking like random shit. Yeah, it's garbage. So he literally, I'm not kidding, spent like five hundred to one thousand dollars on like all of the shit we wanted and gave it to me in a gift basket and like literally like before my surgery, because he actually thought I was gonna die. It's it was literally one of the sweetest things ever.
And we got the uh giant gummy worm and the giant gummy bear, and like we took like three bites of it, and it was like the most repulsive, nasty, fucking thing I ever eat in my life. So we proceeded to get my mom's like nice ass like Fiesta wear ceramic bowl and like put it inside of it and then microwave it for like twenty minutes. Destroyed the bowl.
I don't think she still knows that we did this, but like destroyed the bowl, like melted the coating and those are like nice ass fucking dishes and like just made like fucking brown black dumb. Yeah, and it was horrible. It was like it was so bad and we threw it away.
Okay, we need to like go back. We need to really like reframe our minds, because fourteen fifteen year olds now want chrome hearts. We wanted the big gummy bar, big gummy worm from Bat nineteen, like that well of wealth. We were like, holy fuck, if I could afford the fifty dollars gummy worm, I would be set. I would be so fucking happy.
They want chrome hearts. They want chrome hearts and ring lights.
Christmass they want chrome hearts, ring lights, essential hoodies. I'm just naming off what my siblings want. Are fucking crazy. Like I always see tiktoks of people being like, oh, hell no, this is what my brother just asked for Christmas, and it's a crazy list, and I see all the comments like there's no way this is real, bitch, that shit is real. My sister literally will call me and be like, yeah, I want these extensions. They cost six
hundred dollars. Also, I was thinking, like I really want these work own shoes, like I need them in paint, Like they're not sold anymore, but like they're for resale for like two thousand dollars. And I just have to ignore all her texts because I'm like, I don't know who the fuck you think you are talking right now? Like you are actually bad shit.
They always ask you for like one thousand three pairs of one thousand dollars Jordans a year, yeah, like at every single.
Year's list, and they don't watch this podcast. And I will have y'all hold me accountable. I will not be getting my siblings shit for Christmas this year. They are being cut off, Like I feel like I have to like cut off, Like I feel like this is my equivalent to succession, is like I have to cut off my children. I've never seen succession though, so I don't know the fun.
It's pretty close. It's pretty close.
Yeah, running I'm running a fucking empire, y'all exactly.
Uh So, yeah, we fucking got them. We finally we got them. Really really important moment in history happened this last week. The VMA's happened, and we solidified the new pop girls, like we really we really did Chappelle aslas Chaplain grown Um and Sabrina Carpenter fucking tore. And also I didn't really see any Katie Katy Perry slander, but like we had some slander like thrown in real life
and I was like, no, like absolutely fucking not. Like her new shit is bunk as fuck, like we all know that, but like what she did to pop, yeah, was revolutionary. She is a revolution nobody was.
It was like the Dark Horses era. I think that really.
It was the Christine Sidelco music video that like like not because.
The Christine sidela but it's because of like just that era of like.
It was just camped too far.
Yeah, it was when musicians and like internet culture was for the first time merging. When that was happening, everybody was really confused and didn't know really how to integrate it correctly. Now it's like the normal thing of you'll just see like an influencer or like internet person in a video and they won't do a thing of like do your viral moment. Like it's not like that. It's just like they're in it. We all know, like I see you, you see me whatever. But it was like that era where it was.
Like, oh, wait, didn't they didn't she bring out backpack Kid on SNL?
Yes, dude, Oh my god.
But I'll give it to her. It was a confusing time for everybody, and she.
Was a pioneer in her own way in that. Yeah, because she gave us all a lot of opportunity. Because I'll never forget the sex sape me and Katie Perry shot because she saw me online the sex tape? Is that not out yet?
I don't think that's really and I don't think she would appreciate that.
We'll blare it and bleep it. We'll blair and bleep, We'll blair and bleep.
No, that VMAs. I need you all to know. I grew up in stand culture, and at this point in my life, I don't necessarily engage in it the way I used to like. But something about this VMAs I needed.
To watch so they were mad.
Yeah, it was like messy like it just felt. Really what it was is I was rich reaching for the happiness I felt as a teenager because I haven't felt that kind of joy in a long time. But that's a different don't fucking touch me.
Oh my fucking god, I lost my turn of ba. Oh my god, what you did?
You haven't felt joy in a long time?
I think that's a topic, crazy assumption for you to make about you that problematic, Like women can feel joy too. Yeah I was, and I was like, I don't remember saying that.
Okay, well we could rewind it, and you just said rewind it?
What are you gonna take the tape out?
Old?
For fucking.
No, this is all shot up digitally.
I'm shocked, you know what that is. But I really really wanted to watch the VMAs MTV. I have a fucking bone to pick with you, you dumb fucking pitch it. Why the fuck was it streaming in real time East coast and then not on the West coast?
So I they're canceled for that?
It makes no sense, bitch. We live in the digital era. Why is your fucking TikTok account MTV posting about everything happening at the fucking awards? Oh but I have to wait till eight pm.
Say, I've never seen Enya apply herself to anything more in my entire life than her trying to get the live stream of the MTV Music Awards up on our goddamn TV. She was like trying to pirate. I thought she was trying, Like she was like she bought a VPN, I bought a v bought TV. She spent like literally fifty Did you cancel the VPN? Oh yeah, okay, good good?
Oh I canceled everything.
Yeah, but you still got to charge that thirty bucks from Hulu. Yeah, it was and it didn't work. None of it worked.
It was like it was dollars attempt.
It was an hour and a half I'm not exaggerating, and you're trying to get it to be live on the TV, but we just ended up like watching the clips uploaded afterwards were.
Uploaded before it even streamed on the West Coast. So MTV, get your fucking shit together. But you make no fucking sense.
Yeah, but we love you.
And by the time it was streaming on the West Coast, all the celebrities were posting their fucking looks on ID So what the fuck would I watch your stream for? Bitch? Oh my god, it like it angered me in a way I haven't been in a long time. But thank you for what you've given to me.
Yeah, no, thank you you. I think I think y'all did. Y'all did y'all's number with that one. Y'all did the big one.
Like I think, I feel been trying to get the VMA's back in our face for a long time, and this was the first year where I was like, wait, why do I need to watch?
Yeah, Sabrina Carpenter Contiana Grande, she tore like down. I literally literally killed chapelone Chills. It felt like like all the nods to like Madonna, Gaga, all of it was amazing. John Buck Also, the slander on Addison Ray's outfit is not tolerated. Yeah, it is not tolerated in this house. Like if you get it, you get it. Just say you don't get it, and that's okay, but you don't got to like talk shit. But like there's levels to this ship.
Also, I do think people it was supposed to be that people underestimate, not even that people underestumeate how fucking hard it is to put a look together. Like y'all are thinking, Oh, I'm gonna go out with my friends to the fucking pizzeria in my local town. I'm gonna throw my fit. No, you're not thinking about being on a global stage and what that means, and having to like stand out but not stand out too much and
like all those things. So don't compete where you don't compare, leave my girl alone.
Yeah, but we are just Avid Addison Rayer and there stands and protectors, so don't talk.
And it was a good look.
Yeah, it literally was. It literally was. What else happened? Oh, bitch, Psychological operations to the highest degree went down at the fucking VMA's And I'm sorry, like I'm really gonna get.
Into a person like I haven't even seen like the scary part of tiktoks.
Yeah no, because I'm gonna be the fucking first one to break the story. Goddamn it, bitch. Okay, last year, the last three years, it's been so demonic, like everything
has been demon coded. It's like old got a raad like like just demonic, Like was that like platework Cardier, Yeah, yeah, like just like all black leather, scary, fucking dark sided energy, like worshiping the demon, like tworking on the demon's lap and shit, which like when it first happened, I was like, huh yeah, this is cool, Like, uh, break the glass ceiling, whatever the fuck. I don't give a cluck anymore. But this VMA's we watched the pendulum swing for everyone, everyone
in real fucking time. It was spooky, ooky, scary vibes. Everyone had crosses, they were wearing veils. It was very Catholic core like everyone was so pure, like it was very light energy. And I don't know what that says. It's not a psychological operation. I think it's literally just like people are like I want home and positivity. I'm tired of the demons, like I'm tired of all the
demon shit. But yeah, it was like the like everyone started dyeing their hair fucking blonde when their new album rolled out because they were so dark sighted like dark trad or whatever, triad like like Brenette vibe, like scary, dark energy, and then they went to like blonde, bitch, I get both, what are you talking about?
You sound fucking crazy, like you'd be like I'm gonna break the case. I'm gonna break the case.
Yeah.
I did just go back and look. There was not one dark sided, sick and twisted evil outfit other than a couple like people didn't try hard enough. That was scary. I saw a couple of outfits where I was like bitch, what the fuck are you wearing like that fucking like pleather like er uh, patent leather, like shiny with like the white piping like that. Shit freaks me the fuck out, like the James Charles outfits, Like what is.
It like the like kind of like muglair looking.
No, it's just like shiny like you don't like patent leather. I don't like I liked it. I don't like it anymore. It's like it's like that goddamn off White belt, like the same thing happened to it. I like the off White belt, but like y'all just did too much with it, like ugh, like give it up.
Well, I have nothing negative to say. I'm just moving into a very positive headspe.
You have been very positive.
Yeah, I'm so happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. Oh actually, no, I got a fucking bone to pick.
I was on TikTok Live you after shit talking MTV for like ten minutes.
I was on TikTok Live and somebody asked me how my year went, and I just like went on a stupid fake whoa. You were like bleeding a lot.
It's like staining the chair every time I touch it, it hurts.
Oh, you're gonna get like asbestos from Do you see.
It's like leaking like plasma? Or is that bone marrow at the top. Do you see the clear liquid coming out? It might just be white blood cells. It's already healing. My body is a fast healer, look right there. Oh yeah, yes, I'm already scabbing over babe. I'm like Wolverine. I do give wolverine.
Any What was I saying? Oh, I was on live stream and somebody asked me how my year went, and I said that I went awful, and I'm like, I tried this year. This year was the first year in my life where I was like, I'm gonna be optimistic. I was in a deep, deep, dark depression, but I was like, you know what, I already know when I hear the birds chirping, I'll be fine, Like this year will be awesome. No, this year was a fucking nightmarish
hell escape for me. And I'm no longer having trying to have a positive mindset because look what it got me. Why was one of the comments like somebody posted that clip on TikTok. Why was one of the comments like easy for her? To say, I already know her life's been super easy.
That's in the rally like Kamala calling out Trump's rally sizes. That's in you trigger. If you talk about her having an easy growing up, had.
It easy growing up, you don't know the fucking half, motherfucker. My life was awesome in a funny fun way.
It literally wasn't awesome.
Yeah, it was something, but like a lot of y'all are mad, I made it out the mud, like I don't give a fuck, like fuck you bitch, like what like literally and the.
Dead as did make it out of the trenches, and now we're back in the trenches because our house is fucking falling.
I have to go back to mentioning that I'm from Miami and I grew up poor, remember when that was like my thing? I mentioned every episode the way people are starting to forget the NEPO rumors have gotten a little too far. People think my shit is easy. Shit is not sweet. I still have a lot of things to figure out and like to work on. I was obsessed with the Fortnite uh.
Oh yeah, the fnc es this weekend.
Drew put me on and I watch Peter Bought and five hours worth of y'all need to leave Poyo alone. Motherfuckoyo is literally carrying like he is lit as.
Fun most underrated player of all time. No, he's giving like he he's giving like the mind of the mastermind. Yeah, like he's controlling the moves, like he's taking a ba seat, back seat, so Peter can like bask in the limelight and get the cool kills. But really like he's holding it fucking down like he is. There's no team.
There's no Peter Rotten team.
Mmm, yeah, you need to work on that.
Well.
I watched like five hours of that stream and then like the thing about watching that, I haven't been playing Fortnite as much, but the thing about watching that it made Fortnite look so fun and exciting, and I was like, oh my god, I want to play. But then I was like, wait, I'm not gonna get on and play like a fucking world champion right now. I'm gonna get on, get murked and be like really sad and upset and just like turn off my fucking PS five the second
I get killed. So I'm not gonna play. But that almost got me to play, Like it almost got me there. I miss I missed disassociating and playing Fortnite for five hours a day, Like I was much happier because I wasn't in my real life. I was just like disconnecting and like exist like world out Fortnite in World Out, Like I missed it so much. They just need to add something funny like proximity chat or something. Then I would play. Then I would play all the fucking time.
But yeah, I watched five hours of Fortnite this weekend. That's kind of where my mind's at, just like very gluttonous.
I did find out that this new tick dropped that makes you allergic to meat, and no, it just came out, like why can't they drop cool new animals that like make you forever youthful? Like why do they make you allergic to meat?
I thought you were part of scientology. Don't they have that yet?
But yeah, but I can't talk about it.
Well, I just did.
Have you ever looked at a hippo? Like have you ever? Actually they're the most alien creatures on this fucking planet. There's this like pygmy hippo like going viral right now that I'm on viral. She's eating She's like this little like tiny hippo. It's so fucking cute and it's slippery and she like bites her like handlers and shit. Just look up, uh oh, look up in the pigmy hippo.
I think it's like, how do you spell, It's like mung dang or something like that, or mungoo I love, I love mood dang moodang.
Yeah, that's really cute.
Skip this, fuck Daily Mail.
Wait what the viral makeup line?
Don't give Daily Mail a fucking view.
Wait hippos look like are these like different kinds of hippos because the big ones look really.
Gross, That's what I'm saying.
Bro.
I watched a video of them and I was like, wait, I don't think I've ever actually looked at a hippo before, Like they're cute, but hell no when they open that goddamn mouth and eat the terrifying.
I only know what a hippo looks like in extreme detail because in ace Ventura Pet Adventures, when Jim Carrey comes out of a hippo's assa.
So that's why I know what a hipp Wasn't he like inside of a rhino that got fucked or my, it's a.
Rhino I'm thinking of a rhino, not a hippo.
I think it was maybe making that up, but there's no, no, no, no, there's like this different like fucking Scandinavian show with a clip of like someone hiding inside of like a rhino or an elephant, like an animatronic elephant, and then like they it's really gnarly, like I super graphic, but like the elephant comes up and starts like fucking the animatronic elephant, and there's like footage inside. It's all fake though, but
you can see like the giant elephant penis period. Okay, what Rick and Morty did for vape shops, what Ricken Morty, what Rick and Morty did for vape shops is what I imagine the Beatles did for music. Like when people say when people say the Beatles changed everything, like Rick and Morty changed everything for these goddamn vape shops.
I don't understand the lead galley of it though, Like I guess it's not, but it's just so much that like what is what are they gonna do like have.
A free promo at that point?
Yeah, true, but like why do they even do drugs? Like that? In Rick and Morty like, why did it become so stoner affiliated? Is it just because it was like a stoner show to walk?
Yeah, it's just like the thoughts that are had are like very stoner coded, Like what if we like had like a portal and like planet? Yeah exactly when that's what.
Rick and Morty is.
To me.
It's like, oh, like I got shot into butt planet with boob.
That's literally Miss Frazzle like, wait, actually let's have that conversation. Uh, magic school bus being the original Rickenrizzle being the original fricking MORTI girl, it doesn't fucking matter you You knew exactly what I was referencing and talking, you know, exactly exactly. Yeah. The pandemic of Rick and Morty, I feel, is coming to an end, thankfully.
But I'm gonna be replacement for that though.
Smiling friends, I don't think.
So.
Maybe give give them two more seasons and it'll be like.
Yeah, because it took work and Morty a minute to infiltrate the vape shop, so they just need a little time.
It took them three years. I feel like if it was six years before I saw him on backpacks in school.
I feel like if we were back in time, and this show was still a thing. It would have been big in the vape shops and it's happy Tree friends. That would have been crazy for the vape shop community. Do you know what that is?
Yeah? But I feel like that it's so it's like so gnarly to have like a beheaded teddy bear. Yeah on a vape.
That's more of like a Zoomi's or a hot topic thing.
Yeah, you're were they in zoomis and hot topic? I think so. I think there was merch of that everywhere.
Was there a merge because that ship was pretty gnarly. I remember watching it.
It was literally the worst thing we could have ever done to our brains.
We remember watching when I was like thirteen thirty. I wasn't thirty. I was thirteen, and there was merch. Scared the fuck out him.
It was horrible.
I remember there was like my life before, like like one of my like uh brother or one of my friend's older brother showed me that, and then there's my life at.
It's always the older fucking brothers. Like I have a visceral memory of like the face of like I think it's the squirrel character peeling off and it's like all the muscles and the eye and connective tissue and shit.
Dude, my dad was dating this woman with like teenage kids and cousins, and they would show it to me all the time. And I was like nine years old, and I had to act like I liked it because I wanted to be cool. And they would show it to me on like a computer, that's fine, and I would just like really try not to watch, and they'd be like, why are you being a pussy? Just watch
it now. They had seriously were like something else. That's the same family who showed me the Bloody Mary Universal Horror Nights, a commercial that scared the fuck out of me, and I thought I was gonna die. And I like, I had a big mirror in my room and I couldn't sleep that night, and I went to go tell my dad and he was like, who the fuck is Bloody Mary? Go to bed? And I was like, and I wanted to take the mirror off the wall, but I was like too tiny to do it. But yeah, they did have big.
Things coming, y'all. By the way, big things are coming, like the big Earth, Like something is coming. I don't say that it's actually big, it's actually happening though, like something big is going to happen soon.
The thing is, I wait, I don't remember if I said this on the last episode. I don't remember when this happened. Did the earthquake happen before or after the last.
Episode, I don't know. I think we talked about it.
Whatever.
I hate you guys. Well, Josia got a colon, I was going to say, and people actually showed up.
I was just about to bring that up. The colonsay, Josiah's colonoscopy meetup was a wild fucking success. It was amazing meeting all of y'all out there. Anytime I see like photos or video of it, it's actually the It makes me cry laughing thinking about that actually happening and people actually being down for the vibe and jokes. People skip like fucking college, like yeah, they're called out of work like this.
Also, just like the idea of like y'all sitting in the little courtyard that was across from the hospital he was getting get done at and me and Drew walking in like it felt like we were actually going to visit a friend who was in the ICU or something serious, and they were like fans outside, like wishing a fast recovery, and we were inside just cracking U because we're like, I cannot believe this motherfucker actually posted the address and people actually showed up to a surgery that is not
really a surgery. He's just getting his fucking butt looked.
At, like that shit got probed down.
I still like didn't really understand what a colonoscopy was before that, because I was thought a colonoscopy was when they like put the tube up your button, shoot water through it and empty out.
Your cold colonic.
Colonic colonic sounds like an alcohol.
Yeah, I would love to drink a colon, Like I'll have a.
Colonic on the rocks, please, thank you.
You can get a coffee in a I want a colonic, no egg white. Make sure you use decaf coffee for your coffee.
Anemas is that a thing?
Yeah, it's a thing. Coffee animas are a thing.
Wait wait, what what is an enema? Is that just like a douche.
It is essentially a colonic, but with coffee.
I don't understand why is that like medically safe or.
I don't think it's medically recommended, but like people do it?
Is it to get like boof it.
I don't even know if they do it with caffeine. I think it's really just to clean out their fucking colon.
You can do that at home.
Yeah, people they like sell systems for it. When I was really, really down bad in high school and like looking for any fucking solution to like get the shit, that's like lodging my fucking colon out of my ass. I was doing so much research on like enemas and suppositories and laxatives.
Your body has been a failure from the beginning, exactly.
Fuck you, Sorry, No, I'm kidding. Magnesium citrate, y'all. That's that's the one A bottle of a bottle or two of magnesium citrate will have you right.
The only time I've ever drank fucking magnesium citrate is when I was in Miami and I was so fucking constipated. So I called Drew and I was like, what do you drink? He was like, magnesium citrate. I went to Walmart. I got it. This wasn't like the right before the New Year's of twenty twenty one or twenty twenty two. Bitch, I fucking drank that shit. I went to bed. I was sharing an Airbnb with my friends in Miami. I
went to bed. I woke up two hours later, and it felt like I was like hungover, Like you know when you wake up in the middle of the night after drinking a lot and you just feel like dehydrated and shitty and like nauseous. I woke up like that. I went into the.
I don't get hungover, yeah, because.
You black out and you like barely wake up.
Yeah. And I'm a good fucking vibe I have a time.
But I woke up in the middle of night, fully dehydrated and thought I was dying. Wet in the bathroom, blew fucking water out my butt and then had to shower because I was so nauseous and dehydrated and I felt so sick. I had a gnarly headache. Woke up the next day and I tested for positive for COVID. Yeah and yeah, So I'm like convinced magnesium sit trade gave me COVID.
I thought it gave her COVID. I was like, girl, the gestation night before you already.
Had really right before I took it, I had taken a test for COVID and I tested negative. So within the hours of taking that I think it like jump drive crashing my immune system, and I had COVID and it destroyed my New Year's that year, and it was really sad for me, and I spent New Years alone, not even with my family.
Or my friends.
Aw.
Um, well, my back hurts so bad.
After Josiah's colonoscopy, we went to the mall, and the mall I think really like for twenty twenty five of them, mall is going to be in in a very big way. Like it was so.
Much fus fun as fuck, y'all, Like you can see stuff in real life, you don't have to look at it on your iPhone.
Yeah, it was such a fucking vibe, like like you didn't have to like worry about certain things not fitting. You got to see the pieces in person, you got to interact with people. It was just really good energy and it was really good vibes. And I'm really excited to go back during the Christmas time to see all the people like rushing to get gifts and like see all the Christmas decorations. It's going to be like a wholesome, cozy,
cold vibe. Malls are in, y'all. Like I'm trend predicting malls because they like kind of fell the fuck off.
I know we need to get back to like kids going to malls and hanging out like that should be like the peak experience. But I feel like there are still kids who.
Like, yeah, they're still had guessing.
There still has to be mall rats. Oh my god, Like being a teenager and going to the mall with your family was so embarrassing because you had such a high chance of seeing their kids who were there with your family piss me off.
Also, I need to thank my mother publicly for driving and my friend's moms for driving me and my friends like an hour and thirty minutes to the closest mall to drop us off to just sit in the fucking parking lot and then pick us back up and drive us back home after like four hours of roaming around. That is dedication to a craft. That is we need
more people like that in this world. Also, if everybody had my brain chemistry, Yes, if everyone had my brain chemistry and thought the way that I thought, this world would be very a very special place that is actually a lot, we would eradicate the population.
Everybody would self combust Like you're crazy, you just went on a tangent about how you think, like the demons are leaving and there's like a big spiritual like thing happening in the public eye, because.
There is there fully is, Like I genuinely believe that. Just go back and y'all you'll notice how fucking creepy and weird it is.
Did He would not shut the fuck up the whole time we were watching the VMA, So I was like, can you shy it up? He was like, look, there's more, there's more, there's more, there's more crosses. Look, even in that performance she had crosses on her, Like, what is this, bitch? It's chrome hearts.
Yeah she was wearing it's basically chrome hearts. But I'm going to get a cross tattoo.
I think just to have a saying that are you serious?
Just have a story story, be like are you religious? Not really? I just think like the cross is current, like it's meaningful, Like the symbol itself is fire, and like what it means. But like it's so simple, it's like this people behind it. Oh yep, wells, I just grew up hella religious, So it was like kind of a vibe.
I didn't grow up religious at all, other than like being forced to partake in some Jehovah's witness activities.
I got confirmed.
What does that mean?
Like I made I got baptized when I was like an infant, and then at the age of like thirteen and fourteen, I made a conscious decision, decision, decision, decision, decision, fuck, decision, decision yeah, yeah, decision to join the church as an adult. So I went to like every Sunday and Wednesday, Wednesday, I would go to like classes at the church.
Sunday, and was Wednesday like, damn, you want to get to Haven really fucking bad?
Yeah? I locked. I fully, I locked in my spot, like I was thinking very order. Yeah no. I was literally like, okay, if I do this, like I have a solid chance of getting into Heaven, like even if I fall out of love with God later in my life. And then like the uh. The day before we got confirmed, we were having like a class and someone brought up gay and like the teacher like went on this like long,
gnarly winded conversation like anti homosexual like rhetoric. So me and Madeline walked out, but we went back and got confirmed anyways, but we did not stand for that shit in the moment we were like, girl, fuck y'all, like you're fucking weird. Oh it's it's peace and love. It's peace and love and love. Everybody love everybody. Suck my dick and my balllls. Literally.
I did a good job of not interrupting you, but by doing that, I don't remember what I was gonna say. And I was really trying to do a good job of listening and remembering what I was gonna say. But that's just not gonna happen. It's it's gone forever.
It's all good. Everything is gonna be okay.
Fuck. I was gonna say something about religion, and I forgot. Oh is it too late to get baptized?
I could it get baptized, right, Yeah, you can do that at any point in your life.
I want to get baptized, just to be like, oh that was pre baptism. Yeah, like that was there's pre impost baptism in you and that was pre baptism.
That's kind like yeah, I support, I literally support it. I support.
I would want like a cunty baptism, Like I'd want to go like up to Big sur and like go get baptized in the river.
Yeah you can do that like that. They probably have like a church group up there that does that.
No, it makes her. I feel like it would be more like culty.
I got baptized in like this nasty, fucking gross tub that was just a statin it water behind the stage constantly.
I bet people have pissed in there.
It was like always full of water. So that water was full of fucking brain eating amibas and shit. My god, imagine getting baptized like in a late because they do that shit all the time, and you get him a month later, you'd probably be happy.
Even you'd be like, oh my god, God took over my mind.
And I feel it was my story. It was my story. It was imptant to be.
I just remembered that they taught us how to swim growing up in Miami, like they taught us how to swim when we were in like pre k.
Kindergarten ata in some places.
Yeah, I think it's a law in Florida you have to teach the kids how to swim. But also I don't know if they did this with my younger siblings, but they're also like ten years younger than me, so I don't know. But the swimming pool was an above ground pool literally in the like pipe room, like it was in this scary fucking dungeon room.
It was underground school.
No, it wasn't underground. It was like where all the water heaters and stuff for the school was. It was like really weird. And I just remember this room so vividly, and it was like so dark and dingy and kind of orange. And I just remember having to go get in the pool with all my classmates and like swim circles and giving us life ESTs and stuff. But it was the weirdest experience ever. And I don't know if they do that anymore, Like I want to look at.
I definitely do that shit sometimes, y'all. I'm in bed, I'll just be laying in bed, like I had a really good day. I'm like feeling great, and then I start descending into madness, like and the thought that always comes to my head is what if I'm not in my bed right now, Like what if I'm actually in the middle of the street.
Yeah, Drew was saying that to me the other night. He was like, do you ever get that feeling? I was like no, And then we just got there in silent.
It's because I'm a shifter show.
It's because your schizophrenic.
Yeah. No, I like, yeah, I uh yeah, it's freaky freaks me the funk out sometimes, and even thinking about it right now, I'm like, wait, am I actually here? Well?
I keep having scary dreams, so I don't know what that's about.
That's your SSR. I pumping all the demonic energy out of your body.
I'm flooding my brain with demon Yeah, before I go to bed demons.
Do you know what song I'm talking about?
Oh? Oh, ash Nico, I think so fuck wa alright, now I need to find this.
It's a It's like a Spanish song, Portuguese or something.
It I thought you were singing this song.
No, but this song is so fucking funny. I'm crazy, but you like that?
You like that?
Angela my head set?
All right? I really don't have anything else to say, if I'm being honest.
So one of the reasons our friend group is so tight knit and close and has survived all of the many years together is because none of us fuck each other. No, no, y'all are incestuous, and y'all all fucking each other in
your friend groups. That's bad. Actually, it's not bad. You can do whatever the fuck you want, but if you want a long lasting relationship with your friends, don't go around banging all of them slags like damn God, title fucking slag, oh slag, Oh fucking Daniel fucking to watch Naked Attraction.
That's what really keeps you together is watching Naked Attraction. That's like the best show ever. I love that show. It's so fucking funny, which makes me feel fucked up because I'm just literally laughing at naked people. Like it's just so funny.
It's really the only place in the world you can go to see like the average human body, like really see like what a real human looks like, because like all the fucking porn is contrived. It's like the hottest people like big as.
Even like I it's like you're seeing the hottest people on.
The Yeah, but on Naked Attraction, it is what we actually look like. And it's just so funny to just make make fun of like the way some vaginas look and some penises. It's fun. Like y'all should try it out, dude.
Yeah. I like every time there's a man on the screen, it really freaks me out. I hate the close ups of the penises when you.
Can see like the fucking like chicken goose bumps on the ball. Also, incision supposed to be you know, that was supposed to be a vagina. Yeah, the scene like it was supposed to grow into a vagina or the other way around. It's sealed up because we're all girls first, right, Yeah, Jesus made women with his rib, ripped it out of his body.
Well. My media of the week is, Oh my god, I'm on the last season of Girls. I have five episodes left. I think I'm gonna finish it today.
Banger. Oh, I broke this at some point. I don't remember doing that, but you were saying that the finales have gotten really good.
Yeah, the like season finales of those episodes become so intense and good, and I'm oh my god, it's just such a good show. I love that show. It's so funny.
Dude. I actually and ironically can't pull this off the way I was able to, because this fucking hurts when I use my pointer finger. Can you just like rip that off?
Oh tank you baby, oh baby, I'm finishing Girls. That's my media of the week, and my song Media of the week is Freeman in Paris by Joni Mitchell. Work to Do the Isisley Brothers. We got to get you a woman, Todd run Grin and your malmast think you pussy in my butt.
M minus square Heart. It's a bunch of random fucking numbers that I'm not gonna read. Just look up square Heart and then Usuria parentheses. Psychosis by Edward Scaler tricks very bullish on Edward Skeleer tricks up next for real. I think he's pushing the medium in the craft further than anybody in the world right.
Now, that's what people say about me.
Hot topic. Hey and Hunter Hunter, go watch Hunter Hunter. Uh it is perfect. Damn to the lash detail, Damn to the lash minute detail.
I like this mood you're in today.
Yeah, like mania.
You're like in a carrying mood. You're gonna carry me through this day.
Yeah. No, I'm gonna get you.
We're gonna go to the gym and it's gonna destroy your life.
I was gonna say, just wait, I will come the crack.
It's gonna be.
I will crash like crazy very quickly, and I will experience and hondonia on like anything.
This is the first time are like we aren't like synced, Like we're not absorbing each other's energy.
Yeah, ye oh yeah, we're drifting apart.
I don't want to be friends.
I don't want to be friends with you anymore.
So we really are Elijah and Hannah. Like the more I want. But like this is literally me and Drew's future, because all we talk about is I'm like, oh, somebody, I'm gonna date things, I'm gonna fucking live with them. Hell the fuck now. I don't believe in marriage. I don't believe in living with a partner. That shit's fucking crazy. Get the fuck away from me. I'm gonna live with you forever. And then watching that show, I'm like, oh my god, this is.
You can do it. You really can do it. Okay, okay, we're done by