The Divorced Party

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You're after Party Podcast. Hi y'all, how y'all doing. Here's something that we study every five or six years. It's on cycle with our show. It's the concept of renewing wedding licenses.

Should be mandatory.

It should be managed just like a driver's license.

Right absolutely. I mean, you know, one, we already know that the divorce rate is really really high. But I think that people change over time, and you know, committing to someone when you're twenty five versus thirty five, they're probably totally different things. Do you still want to be in it? Or should you just be allowed at h no strue.

Here's the question, what's the advantage of renewing license versus just divorce?

Well, I think it's a less messy solution to the divorce. Like if in ten years you can say, you know what, both of us are not on the same page as far as doing this, we're done.

So it's like a contract. Yeah, it's like a three year contract and then okay, we want to.

Renew this, But then you have to figure out I guess all the other things, like do we split things evenly? Do we like, like, if you have kids, like, you have a contract, you've got to.

Feel so if you don't rene your contract, it's a divorce basically. Yeah, yeah, okay, unless unless you're not married anymore because you're you're expired.

You know.

I don't know how it's gonna change that, the financial the financial separation stuff. But here's here's a great idea that SEMs from this and I like this, Gandhi. Gandhi brought it up to us today. It makes you sit down and have the conversation. Yeah. Right, if you're just in a marriage ten, twenty, thirty years, whatever, how many times you actually feel prompted to sit down and have to discuss if it's working or not. Yeah, this is a case where you both have to sit down and talk about it.

Right.

We make it so much easier than it probably is, sure.

You know, I think so. I just I mean, how many people do we know? We know so many people who are in marriages that they cannot stand and they have all these reasons why they can't just leave that person, and it's really sad. And I'm like, but what if the contract is expired and everything was okay, and you could move on about, you know, your life in the way that you want to.

That's okay.

I think Sheldon would pick me again, see, and then you wouldn't have to worry about it. And I told, because I always tell him how bored he'd be without me. He just keep saying a lot of less drama, that's for sure, you know, that's the answer I get.

Yeah, but at the end of the day, I mean, he would probably miss some of that drama, highly entertained, right, So I keep telling him, but yeah, okay. Let's let's say you're sitting down with the person you're married to and you have you have thirty days left, so you have to either you know, march down or go online and redo it or whatever. Yeah, you have to get it redone. You have to physically maybe pay a fee and you know, RELICNSE and up your license. And you're like,

Right, I mean, I think when you commit to someone forever, that's a big, big word in a very long time. But you might not be thinking about all the things that could change down the road. And I think that you should just be able to reassess, like, hey, are you still happy? How many people would just coast forever and not actually be happy?

What about you? Nate forces you to have that conversation, that's for sure.

And I'll say this, I think for anybody that's been through a divorce, you probably know before that conversation even happens that it's not going to continue. So yeah, I firmly agree with this. Gandhi. I think this is a great idea and too bad it's not implemented. I know that, fellow divorces.

Am I I guess you are? Yeah, yes you are. You're a gay divorcee.

You know. I think that you just know that it's not going to continue. And if that conversation was forced to happen because the contract was expiring, you would be able to admit, Okay, let's this is not working for me, and then you either come to terms where you can renew that contract or.

You just end it right and with divorces, yeah, when you renew a contract, you have to think about what you're renewing, and it's it's a good thing for everyone.

Go hey, gnhi. Sorry.

Well, with divorces, one person can contest it. But I feel like with this marriage license renewal, if one person doesn't sign, it's not getting renewed. That's it. You can't fight back and forth about it. You both didn't sign, so it's not happening, that's it. Whereas you know, we've seen so many divorces where one person wants it and the other person's contesting it, and it's like, dude or woman, why are you doing this?

Let it go? Yeah, why would you want to contest with someone?

You know?

I'll change their mind, I'll make them like me again. Yet, exactly is this going on in any country in the world, any other place I want if they do have marriage licenses that expire.

I don't know much about prenups. Probably contributed to my problem is that something you can put any prenup elvis I don't know.

You can put whatever you want. You can put whatever you want into a prenup, but different states have have different levels and lines that what is what they say is fair and not fair. Does that make sense? So you could say, well, if we decided to divorce, you got to pay me two million dollars. Well, you know, the judge at that point will go, well, this is this is not going to stand up. No, you know.

Oh so then what's the point of it.

The well no, but well okay, Well I can speak for a friend. Different states have different numbers that they have. It's it's it's it's all kind of formulated where you know, if you've been together this many years and you make this much money, there's there's there's math involved, and that this would be fair. This would be a fair threshold

And it's different from state to state. We just spoke to somebody it is state in the Midwest, and I was blown away by what their law was versus the law here.

Interesting, right, like, we have a no fault state, right, Jersey is a no fault state. I had a friend who was not at fault for the divorce. They got divorced because he cheated on her and it was really really bad, but she made more money, so she had to pay him.

I'm like, dude, he cheating on you and you had to pay him.

That's how it works.

Another kind of sad thing about the no fault state is you can just get a phone call from an attorney one day saying, hey, they want to divorce you really, and there's there's no contesting it, no, no, they can go and if you have a prenup, you got to pay him no matter what. That's the way that works.

One of the interesting things about all this that we keep talking about is everybody is talking about these numbers because marriage is a business contract, isn't it. It is a contract because if it's just love, you don't have to get anybody else involved. But when there's a contract, because of how it works, it needs to be looked at. I think from a more businesslike perspective.

Agree.

Oh God, that's one who's never getting mad.

You're going to get married.

In my opinion, when he yelsy agrees, no, I do agree.

Because I feel like we always talk about you change as a person day by day, so every two years there should be a required a required you know, reup of the contract, and you must be required to take like an assessment test of all these questionnaire like did you fulfill this? Did you honor that? And then this way you get graded on it, and you guys look at each other's scores and you're like, then you could really say, yeah, it's time to get okay.

So if this was the case, would you marry Robin for two years and then sit down and discuss whether to re up?

I would?

I would think about it, Okay, No, because marriages forever, they always say it's forever. You're putting your you know, you're taking these vows, and I don't know that to me is too permanent.

I don't like permanence. I don't know. I don't think people getting married anymore think of it as permanence. I just don't, you know, no, not not realistically, you know, to be wetted forever. I don't think people getting married a lot. I'm not saying everyone, but a lot of people are like, well, it's gonna work, and if it doesn't work, we won't together anymore, we'll get out.

Of it anymore. It seems like I'm gonna try my best.

Yeah, I'll give my best. Yeah, I'll give it a shot.

But I think it also depends on how you were brought up, and also religious religion plays a big part in a lot of people's lives and being married, you know, in your church or in your synagogue or you know whatever. So I think some people do look at it differently, that it's under the eyes of the boy. It's different, you know.

Yeah, they do. And then the divorce, Yeah, some.

Of them, some of them don't.

I know, Daniel, that's exactly what I just said, didn't I I did. We're good, We're good. Well, there you go, a very happy conversation about divorce.

Be realistic about what's going on. Like you would never sign a work contract forever, so you should just think about things because it is a business contract in so many ways. Think about it in that context.

I just don't see the difference between just divorcing versus it expires. Well, what are the benefits to just having expired and you walk away? There's still a business contract.

I haven't worked it all out in my head yet.

Go get that work. Starting a business. I think you started a business exactly, So go ahead. If you're listening to us on the iHeartRadio app, you can hit the talk back button tell us what you think we want to hear. What's on your

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