Putting Christmas Decor In Sexual Positions - podcast episode cover

Putting Christmas Decor In Sexual Positions

Dec 15, 20234 min
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Episode description

Someone's been putting Bruce's Christmas decorations in sexual positions on his front lawn, and Garrett calls as. the culprit!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap, Jarrett, Yes, what's your phone tap all about?

Speaker 2

Jen wants to play a phone tap on her husband Bruce. Now, the couple put out some Christmas decorations on their front lawn and they've been having some trouble over the last few days of people messing with those decorations, putting them in weird positions. So Jen is going to call her husband say hey, I found the kid who did it. He wants to apologize. I will be that kid. Oh boy, Rody will be my dad. And we have a phone How beautiful. Let's listen in to today's phone tap.

Speaker 1

Here we go.

Speaker 3

Hello, hey, sweetheart, how are you?

Speaker 4

Hey, honey good.

Speaker 3

I do not want to bother you, but stuff on the lawn again.

Speaker 4

Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

Speaker 3

No, No, I know it's gross and awful and I'm embarrassed to.

Speaker 4

Even more than I ran out of the house.

Speaker 3

I said that who did it? That blonde kid across the street. So I talked to his dad, and his father said he's gonna punish him. He's gonna make sure it never happens again. And part of his punishment is that he needs to call you to apologize. So pick up the phone when he calls. Take the call.

Speaker 4

Okay, have him call me. I'll take care of it. Okay, goodbye, have a good day. I'll talk to you later.

Speaker 3

Okay.

Speaker 1

All right, Jane, good job.

Speaker 2

So what I'm gonna do now is call your husband Bruce, and then I'm going to be Alex and then we'll see how that goes from there.

Speaker 4

All right.

Speaker 2

Okay, Hello, uh hi, mister Phillips. This is Alex. I live across the street from you.

Speaker 4

I know you do, Alex.

Speaker 2

Listen, I have to call and say I'm sorry for what it did to your front lawn. I was put up to it by a few friends of mine.

Speaker 1

But I'm sorry.

Speaker 2

Santa Claus was, you know, not riding the sleigh, but riding Frosty the snowman.

Speaker 4

You know, is at an attempt to be funny.

Speaker 1

Seriously, you kind of lighten up and just look at it from my perspective.

Speaker 4

It's kind of funny being look at it from my side.

Speaker 1

Listen, you're being being a.

Speaker 4

Little punk, and you've always been a little punk.

Speaker 2

So missus Santa Claus was only wearing a wreath this morning. I didn't mean it was funny stuff, all right, You don't understand funny.

Speaker 1

Maybe if you.

Speaker 4

Understood you're trying to make jokes. This isn't funny.

Speaker 1

Don't you think it's a little funny seeing Marien?

Speaker 4

Dearosex, I don't think any of what you've done is funny. I have younger children in my house, okay, so that don't need to see Santa Claus, missus clause and all that. So you say out to my are you little kid? Okay?

Speaker 1

Dad? Come here?

Speaker 3

Why Alex?

Speaker 1

Are you explaining the situation and apologizing to him? I'm trying to, but he's just not getting what I'm saying.

Speaker 2

Give me the phone.

Speaker 1

Let me talk to him here.

Speaker 4

Hello, miss Anderson, I asked your son to stay out of my yard, stop putting my animals and my Christmas ornaments and compromising positions. He's not taking it seriously. He's not calling me to sincerely apologize. My kids come out in the morning and they look at that.

Speaker 1

If he's only posing them in those funny positions. I saw him the other day in the morning. What's the big deal?

Speaker 4

Are you kidding me?

Speaker 2

Hey?

Speaker 1

Dude?

Speaker 4

Lighting up?

Speaker 2

All right?

Speaker 1

They made me yell at my kid over this. I feel bad.

Speaker 4

Now. If you yelled at your kid more often, maybe this wouldn't be happening. My kid's got a sense of humor, so the kid is a punk.

Speaker 1

My kid is not a punk all. My kid is a straight B student.

Speaker 3

Maybe you shouldn't put your TACKI loan on himents out there if you don't nobody have any fun with them.

Speaker 4

You know what, I'm sorry for moving next to a and it's no good baggy brig shaggy ass haired kid. Hello, what did you do? What I do? I spilled my coffee all over myself? They stay to him?

Speaker 3

Do you know what happened?

Speaker 4

Jen? This little punk called me and he was making jokes. You know, do you think it's funny that he replaced the baby snoopy? You think that's funny? You a man jokes?

Speaker 3

Sait a minute. We can't expect the kid have the same maturity we have.

Speaker 4

I had to talk to this kid and it's stupid ass, father, And now you're calling me giving men gonna work here? Leave me alone? Why do you even call me with this?

Speaker 2

Hey, mister Phillips, listen, stop embarrassing me, you little stop it right now. My name is Garaff from Elvis dur Ann in the Morning Show, and you got phone tats.

Speaker 4

You gotta be kidding me.

Speaker 3

This is all a joke, whiting up even stressed out as it would be funny.

Speaker 4

Why don't you sleep with Santa Claus on the lawn tonight?

Speaker 1

The Elvis Duran phone tap.

Speaker 4

This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by all participants.

Speaker 2

The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in the Morning Show.

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