Don't answer the phone.
Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap. All right, scary, it's the return of mister Michael Oppenheimer. Yep, here we go. Jack wants a phone tap his grandfather, Jim. Jim hates being interrupted watching his afternoon TV programs by telephone telemarketers. So Jack wanted me to call him as Michael Oppenheimer, our resident relentless telephone telemarketer, and then.
Later coaster Boy Josh makes a cameo, Oh my gosh, yes, this is a good day after all.
In his phone tap day doo.
And really he's never been on a phone tap before. I think he has.
Yeah, this is mister Michael Oppenheimer phone tap debut.
All right, here we go today's phone tap listening. Hello, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with clamsfou dot com. How are you doing today.
Sir, clamso dot job. I'm fine, I'm fine. What do you want?
It is becoming a problem to get fresh seafood.
You're selling me something, right.
Our clams sell themselves.
Who the hell are you?
You are the leading seafood processing and distribution company and we ship seafood direct.
To you well, I don't want no package seafood for you. Send package seafood.
We send you seafood fresh. It is caught and shipped.
Listen to me, buddy, I don't have any time for this all right? Goodbye?
Hello, This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with clams for you. Don't you gotta be after six years?
You know, man, you gotta pail of balls calling me back again. What the hell's the matter with you? I told you I wasn't interested. I didn't want any seafood.
I eat clams.
I eat clams. You know you like Italian food.
I love Italian food.
Sir, eat my gi. Give up the damn phone. Goodbye.
Hello, this is mister Michael Oppenheimer. So we didn't even tell you.
What do you guys? Do you only cold during lunch and dinner? Don't you guys ever eat? Why did you get a real wife's sakes?
We have a special today, sir.
Who the hell cares will do? I don't care about your spec. How do I get food to you? Are you hard a feeling?
Are you throwing a party anytime soon?
Sir?
Yeah, I'll throw a body in your mouth. Get the hell off the phone. And lead me along way.
Yeah, the daily staff on sixty nine clam shuckers working round the clock to give you.
Why did to go shut yourself a get the hell out of it, moron, Get a real job. Hello, this is.
Mister Michael Oppenheimer with clams for you dot com.
You got a set?
We have a daily catch for just forty nine ninety nine for two dozen little necks and thirty nine ninety nine for three dozen cherry.
Yet, Well, I think I'd like to put my hands around your little neck and squeeze it a little bit. You How did you get my phone number? Anyhow? You we are.
Calling Italians today?
Oh? You call it all Italians? What's the matter with everybody else who says I'm Italian? And what if I am? And what if I'm not? Frederice son of a bitches?
We did a computer generated search for names that ended in vowels, and yours came up at el ro.
Maybe your computer's not working right. I think your brain's not working right. You know that's just something wrong with you. How can you keep pulling the same person back time and time again when they say that I'm interested? Because you need a lobottomy or something. You are a crazy son of a bitch.
Our research finds that Italians consume more clams than any other nationality.
If I am it Talgian, I'm gonna find out where you are, you stupid, and send somebody over there and break your kneecaps. All right, then we'll see who's Italian and who is it? I don't need yours. My wife goes to the fish market every Friday and she gets fresh fish right off that dock. What do I need your frozen clam?
Your wife has the freshest clams.
My wife gets the freshest clams. She gets the freshest coda everything my wife's got.
How's your wife's snapper?
My wife snapper enjoyed. She fries the people lazy. It's terrific.
If you act now, I'll throw in a free jar of puntanesca sauce. Hello, sir, Our credo is to satisfy the customers.
Manager on a phone, would you.
I'm in charge here?
Sir?
No, you're not in charge. They can't have an like you in charge, but put your manager on the phone transferring call.
Hello, who is it? This is Marty Schottenheimer.
I told you I want to speak to your boss.
So you're thinking of mister Michael Oppenheimer. I am mister Marty Schottenheimer.
What you guys? You sound like zombies or something.
Who can I help you today? Sir?
Do you know that Dishmark has called me six times already to sell me some phones and plans? I told you guy ten times I'm not interested, and he just keeps calling and call and now I want to register a complaint.
You sound Italian, sir, and Italians enjoy class.
Well is this with you guys? With the Italians? Do you sell to anybody but Italians? Are you there? You zombie? Can you hear me?
Yeah? I can hear you.
I can hear you.
I think you're a robot.
I'm Marty Schottenheimer.
I'm Michael Oppenheimer.
Now I smell around. I think somebody's schooling with me.
Here, sir.
It sounds like you need to keep clam and carry on.
But who is that? Who is there?
This is Michael?
And who's that? What do you like some clams today? Jack?
Hey, Jim, this is Scary Jones with Elvis Duran in the morning show. And your grandson Jack is phone tapping you.
You know Jack, you son of a Dodd. You know I'm gonna get you back for this, your little bastard.
And the Frank coaster boy Josh is Marty Schottenheimer.
What's up, Jim going guys? You know, the second he said, Marty shot and like a bell went off and I'm thinking I'm being pumped. Kids. Okay, well, this is Peyton Manning when you guys are a bunch of schmucks hel phone time.
This phone table was pre recorded quin permission granted by all the
Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in the Morning Show