Mr. Michael Oppenheimer 7 - podcast episode cover

Mr. Michael Oppenheimer 7

Jul 18, 20246 min
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Episode description

He's the salesperson we love to HATE, Mr. Michael Oppenheimer!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap.

Speaker 2

Scary, I swear to god, Scary picks up more women when he does. Is Michael Oppenheimer impersonation.

Speaker 3

Someone asked me to do Oppenheimer in the bedroom once. Talk to me like Michael Oppenheimer.

Speaker 2

Well that person is a sick Oh's crazy. The email coming into our studio says, I want you to phone tap as many people in my family as you can, because I love your phone taps.

Speaker 3

My aunt, my uncle, my grandmother.

Speaker 2

They all live together, and they all hate telemarketers. They'll lie through their false teeth just to get those people off the phone. Please have Michael Oppenheimer call and harass them to the best of his ability. You'll love the result, especially for my grandma. She's got the shortest temper of all. This comes from Garrett Michael Oppenheimer. Today's phone tap.

Speaker 3

Hello, This is mister Michael Oppenheimer with the Animal League. How are you doing today, Miss fine?

Speaker 1

Thank you.

Speaker 3

We have the.

Speaker 4

Adopted pet bananzare going on here? We have a lot of pets that need some homes.

Speaker 1

Oh, I'm not really interested. Thank you.

Speaker 3

We have Don Tippet.

Speaker 1

Hello, good after.

Speaker 3

This is mister michaelap And with our Animal League. How are you doing Today's there? All right?

Speaker 1

Did you just call up?

Speaker 3

Yes? I did. No, we're not animal friendly.

Speaker 1

Here, okay, we must.

Speaker 4

We must have gotten disconnected. We have the adopted pet bananza going on today.

Speaker 1

Are you sure we're not animal friendly?

Speaker 3

Okay, but maybe you can be friendly after this phone calls?

Speaker 1

No, I don't think so.

Speaker 3

Do you want a dog?

Speaker 1

Sir? Oh?

Speaker 3

Yes, this is mister Michael whoever it is.

Speaker 1

I'll have this trace.

Speaker 3

Miss.

Speaker 1

You keep calling me. I'm telling you you're going to be in big trouble.

Speaker 3

We have dogs availab don't care what you have available?

Speaker 1

Pal? Okay, stop bothering me.

Speaker 3

These dogs need homes.

Speaker 4

Maybe you need a home.

Speaker 3

Do you have a dog or a cat?

Speaker 1

Would you like to adopt a dog or a cat?

Speaker 3

Yes? Would you like to?

Speaker 1

Would you?

Speaker 3

Yes?

Speaker 1

Then go get one alone, because if you call one? What time? I'll have your trade? Miss?

Speaker 3

Can I tell you about our annual tactacular blowout?

Speaker 2

Sail?

Speaker 3

Care what you have?

Speaker 1

Shove them?

Speaker 3

We have dogs?

Speaker 1

Hello?

Speaker 4

Oh, yes, good afternoon. This is mister Michael Openham with Animal League. How what are you doing today?

Speaker 1

Man, I'm sorry. I cannot talk with you right, Yes you can.

Speaker 3

Won't you take a couple of minutes out of your day so we could talk to you.

Speaker 1

About our annual Excuse me, sir, Yes, you have called this number four times. I'm not interested in what you have to ask me, and take my phone number off your mailing list. I'll report you to the do not Call.

Speaker 3

We cannot do that at this time.

Speaker 1

Man, Please get me off the hang up on this wire. I'm waiting an emergency goal we have adopted, but I'm not interested. Do you understand, mister Oppenheim, and why I am not interested? I have analogy in this house. We are all allergic to pets.

Speaker 3

You take medicine for the allergy.

Speaker 1

Don't worry about my medicine.

Speaker 3

We want to tell you about our dogs on debit.

Speaker 1

I don't need a dog.

Speaker 3

We got cats on credit.

Speaker 1

I don't need your credit with cats.

Speaker 3

We have reptiles for rent. Maybe you have a son that likes it to you.

Speaker 1

Don't have any more sons living with me.

Speaker 3

Does somebody want to play with an iguana?

Speaker 1

Not that I know of.

Speaker 3

No, we have pubreads starting at three hundred dollars.

Speaker 1

May I have your phone number. I can call you back.

Speaker 3

Oh no, not at this time. We are at a central office.

Speaker 1

Me yes's central office? And who do you represent?

Speaker 3

Were located in a central office in Idaho?

Speaker 1

In Idaho. Well you should go back to Idaho and bother the people in Idaho because I can't be bothered any longer.

Speaker 3

We can schedule an appointment for you.

Speaker 1

You've got the wrong number, wrong address. I do not have a dog. I have at allergy to dogs, and I wish we'd stop using this number. Take it off your list, please, Okay, I haven't do not call on my phone.

Speaker 3

Oh we don't respect it do not call.

Speaker 1

Policy, but you have to respect it, sir. What is your name?

Speaker 3

This is mister Michael Oppenheimer.

Speaker 1

Oppenheimer? And who gives you the right to go into people's phones and hold it up when I'm waiting an emergency call. I yesd you to get off the phone. You've called is six times.

Speaker 3

But we have here's the thing that we have.

Speaker 1

No thing. Get off the wire and leave my phone number alone.

Speaker 3

What's your name?

Speaker 1

It's none of your business with my name is okay, I'm.

Speaker 3

Going to look it up in the computer. Here, hold on to take.

Speaker 1

A look care no goodbye, good bye bye.

Speaker 3

But this list is good bye.

Speaker 1

Hello. Listen to me. Yes, would you please get off my phone? This is an emergency home. If you have called me for six times, you say you know my name, you say you know my number. I do not want any dogs. I can't contribute to the dogs. I've got a strict husband here, and if you don't stop harassing me, I'm going to call the police on you.

Speaker 3

Misattracted.

Speaker 1

You've got to stop this.

Speaker 3

Stop misattracted Smith.

Speaker 1

Calling, stop calling my name.

Speaker 3

I'm being calm. I'm being calm.

Speaker 1

You're going calm. You're tying up my phone for the last half hours. How are you to do this?

Speaker 3

I'm mister Michael.

Speaker 4

Offenheimer, and all I want to do is just tell you about adopted pat New Year's bonanza going on.

Speaker 3

You stop it, miss attracted Smith. All I want to tell you everything must go.

Speaker 1

Get off off phone.

Speaker 3

An annual liquidation sale that comes only once a year.

Speaker 1

You're holding up my phone for emergency servers. It's what I'm going to report it to the police.

Speaker 3

I'm sorry.

Speaker 1

Now I've got to get the police.

Speaker 4

We have pure bread starting at three hundred dollars and mixed breeds at two hundred dollars.

Speaker 3

Yes, oh yes, missus Smith, please, missus Scary Jones, and you've.

Speaker 1

Been phone to these people. Should not give people heart attacks on the other side of the phone.

Speaker 3

Your grandson Garrett put us up to it.

Speaker 1

Oh really, well, I just reported him to the police.

Speaker 3

Is he in trouble?

Speaker 1

A joke? My grandson, Your grandson Andy.

Speaker 3

Elvis Duran's phone tap.

Speaker 4

This phone table was pre recorded with permission granted by all participates.

Speaker 2

The Elvis Duran phone tab only on Elvis Duran in the Morning Show

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