Don't answer the phone. Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tab.
Here, Elvis Duran. I've got an idea for a phone tap. My husband thought it'd be great to buy a real turkey for the kids to have as a pet. Our pet turkey lives in the yard and out on the back deck, and when it rains we let him into the laundry room to sleep, because you know, turkeys will look up and drown anyway, some of our neighbors have been complaining about our pet turkey, especially when it sings
in the morning. My husband loves animals. In fact, he feeds all the neighborhood cats and raccoons and possums and they all come to our house. Recently, my daughter and I were told by our dermatologists that the skin rashes we've developed might be scabies. Even though we can't prove it, we think it could be from the turkey. Why don't you call my husband and tell him that you're a concerned neighbor and parent and tell him you don't want your kids getting scabies from his turkey. My husband's a
wise ass. It could be a fun phone tap, all right. This comes to us from Christine Christine's going to start the call, and then Ave Brody will call as the concerned neighbor. Here we go, today's phone tap.
Hello, Peter.
Yeah, I'm mortified and I'm freaking out. I can't breathe. Somebody from school called my cell phone and this guy was screaming at me, cursing about what about the turkey of escaping? I told you this is gonna go right now. Give me his number. I don't have his number. When he calls me, I'll speak with him and i'll see. I'll see if you want to scream at me. I'm heaving about it. So listen to me. I'll speak with them. You handle this. Goodbye, very good bye, good bye.
That was fantastic.
Yeah, all right, here we go.
Are you ready?
Go ahead? Hello? Yeah?
Is this Peter?
Yes?
It is, This is Anthony.
All right, listen to me. You don't call up and you don't scream and curse at my wife. Do you understand me?
You're going to sit your turkey on me.
I'll come and sit myself on you. You understand that's disrespectful. I would never scream, will curse at your wife's ever, No, you wouldn't.
My wife's got class, shouldn't have a turkey.
It sound like you acting like an ass.
No, no, I'm listen. I'm trying to be a good guy here.
But you're trying to be a good guy screaming, cursing at my wife as being a good guy. He's being a gentleman's being a man. What'd you say to him?
I asked about the turkey. I said, your kid's got scabies.
My kid never had scathes.
Your kid's got scabies.
Now, my kid never had scaves. Imbecile. Well, she's got like rashes on or the teacher who has eczema, the same exema I have on my arms.
Listen, we don't need that in this neighborhood.
A right, you don't need this in this neighborhood.
Turkeys are for Thanksgiving, not for pets.
Okay, okay, what do you the turkey?
Please don't worry about who I am.
Okay, I know I am worry about who you are because she's because you got my number and you're talking to me, and you're talking to me like you're a little bit of a wise guy.
I don't like that your kids coming to school with all turkey diseases.
A turkey disease. What diseases do turkeys carry? What do you know about anything?
You got scaby babies?
Well, no, it's me. What do you know about any kind of animal at all? What I know? I know? What's your expertise?
I'm a normal man. I got a dog, that's what.
You're a normal man. You don't sound like the normal man. You sound like a normal idiot.
You got a turkey in your house in Brooklyn.
That's where he's out in a house. The turkey lives outside.
Your daughter told my daughter, the turkey comes inside sometimes when it rains.
The turkey does not come in the house. The turkey came in for Thanksgiving, and that was it.
Oh, that's pretty cool. Don't you think bringing the turk in while you're eating turkey?
You're no nothing, small minded? But tell me what you know about a turkey.
Here's what I know about turkeys. Four hours at three hundred and fifty degrees.
You're calling me up, and you're going all kinds of nuts, and you're a jerk offt and you don't know anything about what you're talking about.
I googled scabies. I googled.
You googled. That's that's pretty good. You googled something.
You can get all kinds of diseases from turkey poop.
You're reaching now, and I'll tell you what, if you had any balls, you would say that to me in person. You're scared, You're nobody. I just happened to have a pet turkey in my backyard. A big deal. I have more important things to do with my life than to deal with a schmark like you.
You want to know who I am? Yeah, my name is Dave Brody. You've just been fantastic.
Oh yeah, got babe.
You anything you'd like to say to Christine at this.
Point, I'll get you. Actually, I got even with you. I married you, and that's the best revente The Elvis Duran phone tap.
This phone tab was pre recorded with permission granted by all of participants.
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