Join Elton as he stumbles through the lives of two women; one real, one fake. This time around Elton's irreverence locks onto "The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue", a book all about cutting deals with the devil, living forever, and learning that, when cutting a deal with Satan, it's all about the details. On his hilarious journey, Elton discovers the nature of how others affect your identity, and what a Faustian bargain is all about. Come along,...and stop all that "smirkstibating." "France, 1714:...
Jun 08, 2025•1 hr 44 min
Oh, those damn Democrats and their getting hacked by Russians, and putting thumbs on the scales of primaries, LOSING THE 2016 ELECTION! How did this happen? How did they get here? Where did it start? THERE'S SO MUCH DRAMA! It's crazy that they've gotten this far as a political party! Join Elton on a weird ride through former DNC chairwoman Donna Brazile's memoir "Hacks", as he tries to make sense of donkey politics. " From Donna Brazile, former DNC chair and legendary political operative, an exp...
May 21, 2025•1 hr 43 min
Just when you thought it was safe to vote again, he's baaaccck! Yes, while we're in the midst of a second Donald Trump term, Elton read a book about the first, and whoa was it an eye opener. Join Elton as he headaches his way through how we all got here in the first place. It's going to be a bizarre journey into the heart of frustration, with a cast of ridiculous characters to help you not wish the next four years, were forty years in the past already. GET THE BOOK: American Carnage: On the Fron...
Mar 09, 2025•1 hr 46 min
This is my first ever "Short-isode", a shorter format episode that I did quickly. Please forgive me. Okay, okay, I'm behind. I tried to to reach for the sun and got burned. Luckily, I managed to get this together, so all hope is not lost. I promise I'll do better next time. Until then, this peace offering about weird taxes, and weird political promises, plus MUSIC! The next full episode about the book "American Carnage" by Tim Alberta, will be up very soon. Here are the lyrics to the song "Ameri...
Dec 01, 2024•25 min
Dating in the age of the internet is a weird endeavor. All of the indulgence of endless choices, and the anxiety of communicating with people rolled into one. What's a single person to do? Luckily, comedian Aziz Ansari wrote a book about it and Elton is here to talk about it. Does that help you find that special someone in this sea of misfit toys? Maybe? Elton's no "love doctor," but he is awkward enough for everyone involved. Listen to this episode and get a wild ride through modern dating, and...
Oct 30, 2024•1 hr 36 min
Okay, so, I got a little overzealous with my first attempt at this trailer...and I uploaded it without making sure everything was up to snuff. So, I'm re-doing it. Not gonna lie, it's not the first time I've released prematurely, and it won't be the last, I'm sure.
Jul 12, 2024•1 min
God, himself, announced her birth, with a lightning bolt and a peal of thunder,...and that's just a footnote. Bette Davis would redefine what it was to be an actress, and an actor overall. She was tough, determined, and principled at a time when men laid down the law in Hollywood. When she took her stand, women were seen as little more than eye candy, and using them to make a quick buck ruled the day. Bette was having none of that. From her earliest beginnings to her last days, Bette Davis knew ...
Jul 06, 2024•1 hr 10 min
Buckle Up for Laughs & Feels! Elton Reads "Friends, Lovers & the Big Terrible Thing," well, "has read" and will tell you about it! This one is a doozy. Hold onto your coffee mugs, "Friends" fans, you're about to get rocked with some tragi-comedy! Elton tackles Matthew Perry's memoir, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," on Elton Reads A Book A Week. Was Chandler funny IRL? Did Matthew Perry steal Elton's woman? How many Vicodin is a lot? We uncover the life of Matthew Perry, an...
May 20, 2024•1 hr 16 min
Grumpy Genius? Hilarious Curmudgeon? You Decide! We Dissect Andy Rooney Ever wonder what goes through the mind of a 70-year-old man with a microphone? This week on Elton Reads A Book A Week , we delve into the life, career, and written word of the iconic (and sometimes infamous) Andy Rooney . Through the exploration of his book "A Few Minutes with Andy Rooney" we'll get to the bottom of questions like: Was he a grumpy genius who held a mirror to society's quirks? Or a hilarious curmudgeon who ma...
Apr 16, 2024•1 hr 44 min
In this episode we explore the life and writing of a founding father of hardcore punk, Henry Rollins. A man that dove head first into his life and has become...almost everything. He's a punk rock and music legend, a movie start, writer, television host, a producer, DJ, a reporter, an interviewer, and so, so much more. We'll also delve into one of his books and along the way discover the greatest neighborhood ever imagined, how to seize life's reins, and beat the hell out of ice cream store custo...
Mar 31, 2024•1 hr 34 min
Welcome to 1978! The year of Garfield, Van Halen, Lego, and a murder mobile named "Christine. In this episode humor meets horror as Elton embarks on a comedic journey through the pages of Stephen King's iconic novel, 'Christine.' Buckle up for a rollercoaster of killer laughs, and deadly driving as he explores the eerie world of a possessed car with a wicked sense of humor. Good. God...with the puns. Discover Elton's unique take on the classic thriller, as he delves into a devilish story with a ...
Sep 14, 2023•1 hr 42 min
Great Expectations, the story of a boy who turns into a man while being surrounded by a**holes, gets the Elton Reads A Book A Week treatment! Join Elton on a trip down Dickensian way before meeting up with a prime example of Victorian drama. It's weirder than you think. The life of Charles Dickens starts like many did in the Georgian Era of England's history...crap. He was a sickly kid from a big, poor family. Then, as he got older and his entire family was thrown in debtor's prison, he was fact...
Jul 25, 2023•1 hr 42 min
As a little break in the booky-book episodes I thought I'd kick out something different. Here's a preview of a series I'll be putting on Patreon. It's a limited series about The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse meeting every Saturday to end the world as, you find out, they've been doing for millennia...and still haven't done it. This is the first of a lot of Jovial Horsemen scripts I wrote years ago. Enjoy the free preview, folks! Oh, when posted on Patreon, everything is ad free, including these...
Jun 07, 2023•27 min
Content Warning: Suicide This episode discusses suicide and may be distressing for some listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling, seek help from a mental health professional or a helpline in your country, which can be reached by dialing 988 if you're in the United States or if you're online via https://988lifeline.org/ You are not alone, and support is available. Listener discretion is advised. Elton as he explores the life and tragic end of Sylvia Plath, her work, her impact, and esp...
May 31, 2023•1 hr 32 min
Jean Shepherd is a man with a famous past in the largely "Who the f*ck is he?" present. Yet, you've probably heard the gruff timbre of his voice every year since you were a kid and enjoyed his work for decades, literally. Born on an unspecified date, in a town that might be in Illinois or Indiana, Jean Shepherd made up a world that people actually believed was real. Created a story that may have created an entirely new genre, and remade Christmas forever. Or...until videos are no longer shared. ...
May 01, 2023•1 hr 25 min
When I say the word “ocean”, what do you think about? For me, it's a mix of fascination and abject terror. I'd chock that up to my innate ability to sink in almost any body of water and/or liquid...and my fear of dying in it. That and if I go in too far and can’t feel the bottom, I freak out a little. It’s because I picture all the giant man eating monsters that definitely are swimming all around and beneath me, so, I panic and move back to shallower waters. In this episode, we're going to meet ...
Mar 31, 2023•1 hr 12 min
Elton navigates the action packed weirdness that is "The Devil's Black Rock." It's a story so insane it defies logic. When you start in rural Arizona desert with a prospector trying to make ends meet, and end with selling nuclear bomb material to Nazis, there's bound to be a lot of wholesale killing in between. If Doc Savage is involved, it's practically guaranteed. Join Elton as he carves out a path through the insane hellscape that is a story set in the Doc Savage universe. There are nuclear b...
Mar 21, 2023•1 hr 32 min
Batman, Superman, and The Avengers have the same bronze daddy or great-grandpa. One of those. The first episode of a new year and this one is a doozy. Doc Savage, a character that fueled the 1930s and 40s pulp craze, is beyond belief, which is understandable. He was created to be just that. Prolific author Lester Dent made Doc to be the greatest human being on Earth, almost Christ like. If only he had used his own f*cking name when he wrote about him. Join Elton as he dives into the origins of a...
Jan 17, 2023•1 hr 26 min
Join Elton in the exciting conclusion to Hitler's Holy Relics in which we find our hero, Walter Horn and his silent, but deadly sidekick Eugene "Stone Blood, Death Comes For Us All" Dollar, as they hunt down the perpetrators of Crown Jewel thievery! Intense interrogation action, while busting Nazis high and low--ALL while screaming, "WHERE ARE THE JEWELS!?" Will there be deceit? Yes. Will there be Nazis? Yes. Will they get killed? Yes--well, a lot of them will, but not all of them. Will there be...
Oct 25, 2022•1 hr 15 min
A secret bunker, a cultural treasure, and a special sharp stick that poked Jesus that could help you rule the world?!! Who else but Hitler would be responsible for that odd grouping of nonsense? Who else would be stupid enough to lose it? Join Elton as he recounts the tale of Walter Horn and his hunt for a priceless national treasure stolen by Hitler, but post World War II, became lost to the world. Lt. Walter Horn, an Army interrogator during WWWII discovers the location of the Crown Jewels of ...
Sep 29, 2022•1 hr
Enter the realm of what it is to be perfect or close to it anyway. Join Elton as he explores one of the only ways a person can attain perfection. It's not as easy as you think. APOLOGIES SECTION: Elton would like to apologize to the following people, places, and things: Major League Baseball, James Buckley Jr., Medical professionals from the 1800s, Ty Cobb, New Yorkers and their infants, statisticians, baseball fans with a penchant for politeness but, an inability to recognize personal space, Sa...
Apr 25, 2022•1 hr 7 min
"What If?" by Robert Cowley is one of the greatest books you've never heard of. It's not fiction or science fiction but, could probably inspire both. A collection of essays written by historians that were asked "What if the outcome of one historical military event changed? What would happen?" What if everything you've ever known could be undone with one change? Imagine how unpredictable reality is. Well, in this episode, we're going to find out. Plus, depending on what you believe in, it's eithe...
Mar 11, 2022•1 hr 21 min
In this episode-- Bill Gates, King of Microsoft, and one of the most odd, controversial, and insanely wealthy people on Earth. A planet could probably buy, lets be honest. Did you know he wrote a book of predictions about the internet BEFORE it existed (well, the one we know today, anyway)? Being one of a small group of insiders who helped shape the way the internet was, and is, used by the world, it's crazy to think of how much he got wrong (and he did). And how much he actually got right (a lo...
Feb 03, 2022•1 hr 37 min•Ep. 27
What happens when a man with a hood over his head drives a car into a small town? A mountain of dead people and a prison sentence, right? WRONG! Find out why common sense never made the final edit. Along the way, are witch trials, blue boars, electrified swords, carnies, movie stars, oh, and hand jobs from relatives. There's that too. Join Elton on a journey through the life of Ray Bradbury and one of his books. A literary legend, Ray Bradbury influenced the world of science fiction writing and ...
Dec 15, 2021•1 hr 17 min
Freddie Mercury led a life so big he couldn't fit into one episode (and it STILL not enough)! In this second half: cocaine dwarves, smoking vaginas, The Sex Pistols, Bohemian Rhapsody, David Bowie, possibly the Queen of England, and more. Join Elton's continued ride through "Somebody to Love: The Life, Death, and Legacy of Freddie Mercury", a book that's long on information and short on needless filler. Sit back, relax, drive, or work (like Elton does) and listen to discover more about a man tha...
Sep 27, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 24
Freddie Mercury considered one of the greatest frontmen of all was the living embodiment of excess. He lived his life moving at the speed of light, but the world, a disease, and fate would bring it to a tragic end. Join Elton as he tries to lighten the mood using one of rock & roll history's greatest and unfortunate son's lives. From Freddie's birth to Queen's birth, part 1 of the wild life of Freddie Mercury, come for the insanity; stay for the tragedy! Plus, an uncomfortable amount of dick...
Jul 18, 2021•1 hr
It's the end of the world as the 80s knew it and they feel...apocalyptic! Listen as Elton gets to know "Mister Touch" and his rough band of New Yorkers as they battle a pandemic. Plus, survival tips! GET THE BOOK HERE! https://amzn.to/3DsgYkr Contribute here: https://anchor.fm/elton-reads-a-book-a-week and here: https://www.patreon.com/eltonreadsabookaweek Samba Isobel by Kevin MacLeod Link: https://filmmusic.io/song/4316-samba-isobel License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Jazzy Comping ...
Jun 06, 2021•1 hr 3 min
Steve Martin, The New York art world, Ice Cube, and 90s gangsta rap Pokemon; what do they have in common? This episode is what! "An Object of Beauty" may just be the single greatest book in the history of books that aren't listed as great books. Is that a confusing exaggeration? Yes, maybe, you tell me. In this episode, you'll get the low down on Steve Martin, his novel, and how Jesus felt about having a crucified figurine of himself submerged in urine, and so much more. Listen for the funny, st...
May 04, 2021•54 min•Ep. 21
Using "So, THAT Happened: A Memoir by Jon Cryer", we'll get into Jon Cryer's life and various pseudo feuds with other celebrities in this surprisingly sexually euphemism-filled episode of Elton Reads A Book A Week. Join Elton as he explores the inner workings of Jon Cryer, the famous Hollywood actor extraordinaire. He leaves no page unturned in the pursuit of understanding Jon Cryer's one-sided celebrity battles with Robert Downey Jr., Matthew Broderick, and, of course, Charlie Sheen. Plus, ther...
Apr 06, 2021•1 hr
Take a trip through the strange world of male sexuality with Elton as he tries to navigate why men defer to their genitals, sex cults for old people, and why men think they're the best sex-ed teachers. Plus, a wasp loving doctor makes it all possible? In this episode, Elton slips down the sexy, sweaty spine of "American Sexual Behavior and the Kinsey Report, a rundown of the most famous sex study man has ever performed on himself! Wander through the world of male sexuality and maybe answer a few...
Jan 22, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 19
